Thursday, July 28, 2016

Warpigs 6, Inmates 4

Face-to-face. Cards & dice. The way God intended.

First of all, is it possible we BOTH went 4-6 today? It sure felt like it.

A good, long day of baseball... It started with a Warpig 3-run 1st off of Jose Quintana, and ended 13 hours later with Matt Bush imploding for 4 runs in the 8th inning by the A's. The FFTs and Fungoes joined the Inmates and Pigs at the Ballpark for the game.

But first, there were 10 games to play...

@ The Baptist Bowl

May 8th - Warpigs win 10-3. Jarrett Parker, in a rare start, went 2-2 with a triple and home run and drove in 4 runs. Ender Inciarte also went 2-2 with a homer. Jaime Garcia (9-5) got the win, going 6 innings.

May 9th - Inmates win 7-6 in 15 innings. Ugh. A double by Yoenis Cespedes walked off the win for the Inmates. Cespedes and Carlos Gonzalez, 2 members of the Inmates' Murderer's Row, both homered earlier in the game. The Inmate pitchers held the Warpigs to 8 hits over 15 innings, and 5 of them came in the 4-run 6th. Tyler Clippard (0-2), the last Pig in the pen, took the loss.

May 10th - Inmates win 4-3. The Pigs outhit the Inmates 9-8. And held the Inmates scoreless in all but one inning. Unfortunately for the Pigs, that one inning was a 4-spot, punctuated with a 3-run shot by Anthony Rizzo. Cespedes went 4-4. Michael Wacha (7-4) took the loss.

@ The BallPork

June 20th - Warpigs win 6-5. This was the turning point in the series. In fact, it was the turning point several times. The Inmates scored 2 in the 4th off of Garcia, but the Pigs answered with RBIs from Prince Fielder and Lorenzo Cain in the bottom of the inning to tie the game at 2. A J.D. Martinez homer (on a friggin 2-2 roll! WTH!) put the Inmates back on top in the 5th. But in the bottom of the 6th, Jason Kipnis and Fielder knocked in the tying and go ahead runs. But then came the 9th... Brandon Maurer got the first 2 outs of the inning easily enough, but Cespedes came in to pinch hit. The Warpig manager, being oh-so-clever, switched to the lefty Antonio Bastardo. The Inmate manager, being oh-so-cleverer, called Yoenis back and went with Eugenio Suarez. No problem, right? In this park, the only real danger is if he rolls 3-4. So Suarez, of course, promptly rolled the 3-4 solid homer to tie the game. BALLS! Now, one might think Bastard-O would be satisfied to just give up the homer, but no, Jean Segura then blasted a double. Sickened and appalled, the Pigs turned to Darren O'Day to get out of the inning, but HE was greeted by another double, this one from Jose Altuve, and the Inmates had the lead 5-4 going to the bottom of the 9th. Justin Grimm had retired all 5 batters he had faced, including the first 2 in the bottom of the 9th... but when Jarrett Parker stepped in to pinch hit, a change was made to the lefty All Star, Matt Thornton. Parker doubled down the line to keep the Pig hopes alive. A.J. Ramos then came in to face A.J. Pollock in an epic battle of A.J.'s. The at bat last 13 pitches, with Pollock continuing to foul balls off. When he finally connected with a fair ball, first baseman Rizzo (1b-1e9), whose mind had wandered and was now staring at the Dancin' Sassy Sows perched atop the dugout, booted the grounder, putting runners at the corners, still with 2 outs. Martin Prado came thru with the big single, plating Parker to tie the game. Yadier Molina pinch hit then because he has a 3-8 clutch hit. So, of course, he promptly rolled the 3-8 omega for the walk off win. An uproarious celebration followed. The sound of the celebration reached the showers where Bastardo was trying (and failing) to hang himself. At first, it appeared several where running to his aid, but they were only competing to see who get a snapshot of the hanging posted to Instagram first.

June 21st - Inmates win 7-1. Still in a daze from the previous game, both teams managed only 6 hits each, but the Inmates got a 3-run homer (Altuve) and a 2-run homer (Martinez). All the Pigs could manage was a 3 doubles from Lorenzo Cain. The last of Cain's doubles knocked in the only Pig run of the game in the 9th to avert the shutout. Zach Davies got the win, going 8.1 (or, a fourth of his allowed innings for the year). Garrett Richards (9-7) took the loss, getting yanked after only 2 innings.

Back @ The Baptist Bowl

August 1st - Warpigs win 8-4. Zach Davies was on the hill again for the Inmates, but this time was blasted for 4 runs in the 1st, and 2 more in the 6th. He allowed 10 hits in 6 innings. Jaime Garcia (10-5) didn't have his best stuff, but pitched well enough to get the win. Pedro Strop earned his 11th save. Ian Kinsler went 3-4 with 2 stolen bases. In the Inmate half of the 2nd inning, the Inmates bunched together 2 singles, a double, and a walk... but only scored one run. This wouldn't be the last time we would get to witness the "Inmate Inning."

August 2nd - Warpigs win 7-0. The only shutout of the series, and it didn't happen at the BallPork. Weird. Garrett Richards allowed only 2 singles over 8 innings. Drew Pomeranz pitched the 9th. A.J. Pollock was the hitting star, going 2-4 with a double and a stolen base. He scored 2 and drove in 2. Martin Prado had 3 singles, 2 of which drove in runs.

Back @ The BallPork

September 1st - Warpigs win 5-4. Garrett Richards had another miserable 1st inning against murder's row, allowing 3 runs on 4 hits and a hit batter. But the Pig bats bailed him out in the bottom of the 2nd with 3 runs of their own. There was another appearance of the "Inmate Inning" in this game. In the top of the 5th, the Inmates sent 5 batters to the plate. There were 3 singles and a double by those 5 batters, but the Inmates only scored 1. And that inning, although it gave the Inmates a 4-3 lead, would be key in the Warpig win. In the bottom of the 8th, Yadier Molina just missed a 2-run homer, instead doubling off the top of the wall to drive in Jake Lamb with the tying run. Ender Inciarte doubled in Yadi with the go ahead run. Strop and Bastardo combined for a 3-up, 3-down 9th. Bastardo redeemed himself, earning his 4th save of the year. Brandon Maurer (2-2) got the win in relief. Inciarte went 3-5 with a single, double, and triple, driving in 3.

September 2nd - Warpigs win 5-4 in 14 innings. 15 pitchers were used (not counting Jake Peavy, who bunted into a double play in the 8th). There were a combined 23 hits, 12 walks, 27 strikeouts, and 4 stolen bases. The Warpigs overcame a 3-1 deficit with a 3-run 6th inning, all of the runs coming with 2 outs and the last one on a pinch hit, clutch single by Martin Prado. The winning run came in the bottom of the 14th. Lorenzo Cain singled (his 3rd hit of the game) and stole second. He scored on a Prado hit (also his 3rd hit of the game - and he didn't even start). Prince Fielder contributed his second consecutive 3-hit game. Adam Wainwright (5-1), with 3.2 innings of relief, got the win.

September 3rd - Inmates win 7-2. Putting an end to the 4-game losing streak, the Inmates turned once again to Zach Davies. He and 3 relievers held the Warpigs to 4 hits. Michael Wacha (7-5) took the loss, thanks in part to wildness and his own error. Adam Jones went 3-4 for the Inmates. A.J. Pollock homered for the Warpigs.

In the 10-game series, the Warpigs scored 53 runs on 101 hits. The Inmates scored 45 on 83 hits. But... the Inmates outhomered the Pigs 11-4.

The Inmates drop to 5.5 games in back of the Fungoes in the HWD. The Warpig lead in the BUD is now 8.5 over the Wahoos.

1 comment:

The HEAD INMATE said...

What REALLY happened between the Pigs and the LDMF...

Game 1 - Inmates suck.
Game 2 - Both managers manage their asses off. The Inmate bullpen is VERY good, pitching 10 innings and allowing three hits and one run.
Game 3 - Pigs just couldn't put a big inning (sorry for the pun) together, and despite Escobar making his third error in two games the Inmates hang on.
Game 4 - Pure cheese. Everything the PigMan wrote about this one is true. A clutch Rizzo error in the 9th tossed away a great Inmate comeback.
Game 5 - All Inmates in this one.
Game 6 - Inmates had two or more runners on in five different innings, and were rewarded with a whopping grand total of two runs. Shit.
Game 7 - The return of the LDMF. Cespedes had two of the three Inmate hits (all singles), demanding a $ raise from management. Management promptly had the rightfield outhouse repaired, making everyone happy.
Game 8 - Really? Four hits in an inning with only one @#%@##$ run? Manship gives up two 4-column hits in the same inning? As usual, great Pig managing breeds improbable (but somehow, expected) Pig luck. And the Inmates couldn't score in a whorehouse full of nymphomaniac bimbos.
Game 9 - Another clutch (read: omega) pinch-hit? Holy mother of flaming hemorrhoids! Three more Inmate errors lost the game, aided by another Inmate shit-like inning of two walks, a single and a double resulting in one measly run. AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!
Game 10 - A sop, only to show what the Inmates can do if they pull their heads out of their collective ass. Although...despite the Pig runs scoring on a two-run HR, both runs were unearned due to Jones'(1e4)second error of the series.

Hook-handed Inmates made 12 errors, accounting for 10 unearned runs in the series. And despite the "Murderer's Row" tag applied by our esteemed opponent, the LDMF team batting average dropped to .236 after 91 games.

On a happier note, Inmate management was awarded the July "Complainer of the Month" award by the publishers of "On the Rag" magazine.