Tuesday, April 29, 2008


The Wahoos destroyed the Fungoes today 5 games to 1. The Wahoo reports...

We were just looking for an opponent we could beat easily so we could get comfortably over .500 before we face the Rhinos. The Fungoes seemed like the perfect remedy. We didn't even have to play any of our regulars. In fact, the really sad thing is that we lost a game at all. I'll be up here at work all night replaying that one loss, which by the way was 2-1 and we left the bases loaded like three times. It was embarrassing, really.

But I figure I'll get some more in against the Warpigs, Mavs, Oilers, FFTs, and Sidewinders before I take on anybody very good. Then, when I get about 20 to 25 games above .500, I can play some of the better teams.

This seems like the best strategy. I mean, it's worked for the Buckeyes all these years, right?

That's right folks, he lumped the Snakes in there with the scum of the league... and then called out the Commish for playing a weak non-conference schedule. Our little Wahoo is getting ballsy.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Game updates

The Tweeners took 4 of 5 at the Hooverdome against the Drillers.
The Tweeners report...
Tweeners take 4 of 5 at the Hooverdome to split the season series with the Drillers. The series featured 2 extra-inning games. Tweeners win game 1 in 11 innings. In game 3 pinch-hitter Roy Oswalt squeezed in the tying run in the bottom of the 9th, but Drillers went on to win in 15. In game 5 Oswalt took a no-hitter into the 7th inning, but Vlad Guerrero's one-out double left the Tweeners still in search of their first no-hitter in this their 27th season. Tweeners now 16-19 with zero demerits.

The Buckeyes took 4 of 5 at home against the Tweeners.

The Inmates swept two games via netplay over the Fungoes.

The HEAD INMATE reports...
Inmates took a pair from the Fungoes tonite via netplay. Fungi took it in the rear, losing the first game in 10 on a walk-off HR by Castro, then being shut down in game two by Santana.

Interesting tidbit – the first batter of each game tatered for the Fungi.

Inmates now 21-15.

The report from the Fungi echoed that...
Fungoes lose 2 of 2 to the Inmates today. In game one Sizemore leads off with a HR. Fungoes lose 5-4 with Castro hitting a walkoff HR in the 10th.

In game 2 Sizemore leads off with a HR. Fungoes are shut out the rest of the way by Santana and lose 2-1. Fungoes banged out 2 hits!


The Wahoos and Warpigs split a pair of games today. Joba Chamberlain made his first appearance ever, getting a save.

The come from behind win in game 2 by the Pigs was not without some drama and some weirdness. Down 4-3, Travis Hafner started the 8th inning with a strikeout; but upon further review, was awarded a single due to Gil Meche being about 5 points beyond his POW. In came Juan Cruz to pitch to Albert Pujols. Adam "Pigman" Jones pinch ran for Pronk. The slumping Pujols, in what might be a first for him, was called on to hit and run. He missed the pitch and Jones was off and running. He failed to get a good lead, but still managed to steal the base and then advanced to third when the throw sailed into center. Now Pujols batted with the tying run 90 feet away. His slump, however, continued and Cruz struck him out.

With Victor Martinez coming up and Garrett Atkins on deck, Cruz intentionally walked VMart. Stephen Drew came on to pinch hit for Atkins and rolled a ballpark single (1-17) chance... an 85% chance to tie the game, but rolled a 20. There was no joy in Mudville.

Now, with two outs, Ryan Church pinch hit for Jason Bay. Cruz was lifted and replaced by Carlos Marmol. Church greeted him with a double to right. VMart was running from first and thanks to the extra points for not being held (+1), two outs (+2), and Travis Buck's feeble arm (+3), Victor went from being 1-9 to 1-15 and scored easily to put the Pigs up 5-4.

Chamberlain's debut sealed the rare win for the visiting Warpigs.

Saturday, April 26, 2008


The Buckeyes went 3-2 at the Oilers.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Game updates

The Killer Bees go 2-1 vs the Wahoos. The BeeBoy reports...

Bees take two of three at the hive. Wahoos pounded out 26 hits in game two on the way to an 18-6 drumming.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Game updates

The Oilers dropped 3 of 5 to the Mavericks.

Friday, April 18, 2008


The Wahoos and Killer Bees split two games. Change in standings: none.

The Chief reports...

Wahoos and Bees split 2 wild ones on The Reservation.
Wahoos hang on for a Game 1 win, 9-7. Bees pulled Gorzellany after 2/3 of an inning. The bullpen got the job done.
Bees win Game 2, 8-7, after taking an 8-0 lead in the top of the 5th. The Wahoos got 7 in the bottom of the inning with a Justin Morneau slam to highlight things. But that was it and the Wahoos couldn't get anything going against the Bees' bullpen.

The Bees, despite the rare loss, announced today that playoff tickets for the second round of the 2008 playoffs will go on sale Monday morning at 10:00. The opponent is still TBD. Only games 1 and 2 will be sold, as the chances of any team taking the Bees beyond a Game 5 is, according to the King Bee, "Highly unlikely."

World Series tickets for the Bees go on sale Thursday.

All playoff games will occur sometime in November. However, the Bees have vowed to go ahead and play out the rest of the regular season rather than make a mockery of the process. He added, though, that all games played against the league "riff raff" will not involve the Bee Elite. "Yeah, we ain't sending Teixeira or Chipper or guys like that out to play road games against the Warpigs or Mavs or FFTs or Iowa State... No sense wasting 'em on games we can win with backups. I'd include the effin Sidewinders, but just beating those SOBs isn't enough. We want to run rule those games. I love it when the Snakeman hollers 'Mercy!' in the 4th inning."

Also, the Bees and DVs played 5 with the DVs winning 3 of them. The Beeboy reports...

Dvs - you went 3-2 at my place to finish up the season series. Thanks for the 3-7 ass whoopin you put on us. Bees are back to reality at 51-26.
I'm not much on play by play and game summaries, but all I have to say is that you whooped us.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Game updates

The Oilers went 3-2 vs the Wahoos today.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

FW Cats

A note from the Oilers...

On Monday April 21 at 8:00 PM there will be a one-hour documentary on KERA TV. It is a documentary about the Fort Worth Cats. It sounds very interesting. Additional information can be found at www.fwcats.com

Monday, April 14, 2008

Game updates

News from the Driller Dude...

Drillers went 4-1 at Mavs. Either I have good pitching or his bats suck shit… or both… or neither. All low scoring snooze fests in Taderville.

Sunday, April 13, 2008


DVs go 4-3 vs. the FFTs they arent nearly as bad as he claims, we had to scrap out every win except the last. Nothing notable except his Super Hal worked flawlessly and the hotties behind the home team dugout thought the DV owner was a stud.

That is all,


Game report from the Snakeman...
The Brothers Mullen met on neutral ground for a 4 game set last night. The games were played in beautiful Sorgho KY at the home of our parents. We were both doing turns at solo parenting as I had 2 of mine and he had his only one.
We split the 4 games. This should be called "flicking the bean". Losing 3 of 5 has it's name.....
Sidewinder manager Edgardo Alfonzo had this to say "This series was a great success. You see we don' t care so much about winning as we do about playing demerit free baseball. I'm really proud of our guys. We are caught up through the end of the month. If anyone deserves 2 weeks of golf, our squad does."

The loquacious BeeBoy added this...
We played the SSWs this weekend at a neutral site (mom's house), and split 2-2.

In other games, the Warpigs went either 3-2 or 2-3 at the Mavs.

Paying Attention

Team A gets results from team B via email, with this comment from the team B owner: "I either went 3-2 or 2-3 against you. I'm not sure because I wasn't paying attention."

Then, when looking at the box scores, team A's manager realizes team B didn't even pay attention long enough to get the starting pitcher or lineups right.

If team A and B were fighting for a playoff spot, and the mistaken lineup glitch cost team A some valuable wins... should the game(s) be replayed? Was team B cheating or just ass-wipin' negligent?

What if team A and B were cellar dwellers and the outcome of the game(s) in question had no bearing on the pennant race? Is ignorance-induced apathy okay under those circumstances?

On the other hand, what if team B was trying to throw games to get a better draft spot and actually LOST the game(s) in question?

I know mistakes happen, but if you're going to ANNOUNCE that you weren't paying attention, then you're an idiot. I was reminded of the time a team got results back where a reserved pitcher who only had a computer card made an appearance.

Your thoughts?

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Game updates

The Inmates swept a 5-game set against the Oilers at the Baptist Bowl. The Inmates are now 19-15 and a game out of first place in the MFD. The Oilers drop to 15-28.

The DVs and the visiting Bees went 1-1 at Depends Park.

Here's the report from the DVs...

Only note is that the last game was decided in the bottom of the 11th when Vernon Wells hit a walk off home run to win. The interesting part is that it came off the STARTER Chad Billingsley, who HAL decided needed to blow out his arm (and innings) in this tilt.

The moral of the story could be multiple choice:

A. Netplay, Netplay, Netplay
B. Use Super Hal bullpen settings
C. If you send a computer manager, make sure you check the Max 6 (or 7) innings per Start selection.
D. Be prepared to have some starters throw 2 or 3 inning starts at your home games to correct the imbalance.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008


The DVs took 3 of 5 from the Rhinos. The DVs are a half game in back of the Drillers.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Game updates

The Oilers took 3 of 5 against the Fungoes today. Here's a report from the FungoBrass...

Fungoes got off to a good start vs Oilers with a 10-2 complete game victory for Roy Halladay, in game 1. Ibanez hit two 3-run HRs to lead the Fungi. Fungi win game two 5-3 in extra innings. Berkman smashed a big 3-run HR in the 10th. Paplebon picked up the win.
Oilers shut down the Fungoes in game 3 winning it 3-1. Game 4 was all Fungoes until the 9th. Papelbon comes on to secure a 2-0 lead for the Fungi but he can't get anyone out. After loading the bases (and then complaining that he is "TIRED"), Fungoes bullpen implodes allowing 3 Oilers to cross the plate. It was enough, as the Oilers win game 4, 3-2.
Game 5 was never close as the Oilers handed the Fungoes the "Tweener Split" winning game 5, 9-0.
Fungoes are now 17-17.

Across town, the Wahoos swept a short two game set against the Warpigs this afternoon. Nothing exciting happened. The games sucked.

Also, while working on stats today, I realized I never sent the Rhinos the stats from a series we played the week after the draft. I have given myself a demerit. Demerits are listed on the Standings Page.

Busy Weekend

The Drillers played another series this weekend, beating up on the Zaps 4-1 at the Viagra Dome. The Drillers played 30 games this weekend to reach the halfway point in the season. Maybe we should give demerits to the Drillers and FFTs for playing too FAST. lol

In the NERDD, the Drillers are a game up on the second place DVs, although the DVs have a better winning percentage.

I've been told the Fungoes and Oilers are going at it later today. The Fungoes are not too far behind the Drillers and DVs in their division. If he can put the kind of hurting on the Oilers that the Killer Bees did, he could leapfrog past them.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Game updates

The Killer Bees went 3-2 vs the Drillers at the Hive.

The Buckeyes also went 3-2 at home vs the Drillers.

Later, the Zaps added their own 3-2 vs the Drillers.

And finally, the Drillers returned home to play the Bees and again lost 3 of 5.

The Driller Dude reports...

Game two, Hawpe hits a two run tater in the top of the ninth on a HOMER 1 double to take a one run lead. Bottom of the ninth, Vladdy pokes a HOMER 1-5 off Bell with two outs to tie the game. Top of the 10th, Cano misses a 1-19 single with a runner on second. Friggin boring ass sac fly puts Bees up in top of 11th and Drillers piss down their leg to lose.

Lofton, Chipper, Big Tex , and Hawpe… Way too many guns.

Sounds like the Drillers shoulda stayed home and played with themselves today.

The Drillers have dropped a half game back of the DVs for the NERDD lead.

Friday, April 04, 2008

More Games

The Drillers took 3 of 5 from the Buckeyes tonight. The first place Drillers are 34-23. The Buckeyes move a half game in back of the Nads in the MFD at 22-17.

The Killer Bees swept a 5-game set from the Oilers. The Bees are now an amazing 39-15. The Oilers drop to 12-21.

The Standings page on the NASOMA website is updated after every reported series.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Inmate Ineptitudes

The Rhinos took 4 of 5 from the Inmates in a Netplay series today. This from the HEAD INMATE...

Ugly shit. No close games. Rhinos won 4 of 5. Outscored Inmates 35-18. Inmates couldn’t pitch, hit, or field (Beltre had 3e’s).

Inmates once again exceeding all expectations for ineptitude and are 14-15.


Series highlights from Colonel Rhino...

Arod hit .450 with 4 HR's and 10 RBI's
BJ Upton had a 5-5 hit game and hit .636
Tulowiski hit .333
K. Escobar was 2-0 with a 1.35 ERA w/15 K's
Smoltz was the only high point for the Inmates shutting down the Rhinos pitching a complete game striking out 10

The first place Rhinos are now 26-16.