Friday, October 31, 2008

Draft Order and Playoff Seeding

The draft order for the non-playoff teams...

1. Warpigs
2. FFTs
3. Mavs
4. Fungoes (The Fungi and Oilers tied, but the Fungoes pick #4 based on their 2-8 record in head to head games.)
5. Oilers
6. Tweeners
7. Nads
8. Zaps*
9-10. To be determined from among Wahoos/Buckeyes/Inmates

As for the playoff pairings, we need to get the Inmate/Buckeye series AND the Driller/DV 1 game playoff completed. All we know for sure right now is this:
  • The Killer Bees will have the #1 seed and a first round bye.
  • The Sidewinders will be the #5 seed and start on the road in round one.
  • The Rhinos will host a first round series.
The winner of the Driller/DV game will get the #2 seed* and the loser the #6.

In the big Inmate/Buckeye series, the Inmates need to win 7; the Buckeyes must win 8 to advance. Thankfully, they cannot end tied. The winner will be either seed #3 or #4 and host a first round series.

Remember to complete your stats and send them to the Chief. They are due by Thanksgiving weekend, but I bet he wouldn't mind them earlier.

If you are missing stats/game files from anybody, check with them ASAP. Let me know if there's a hold up anywhere.

* A 14 game sweep by the Buckeyes or Inmates would foul up a couple of seemingly sure things, but the odds are pretty much against that. Still, if I don't point it out, some other asshole will.


Nads 3, Sidewinders 2

Zaps 6, Nads 4

This wraps up the regular season of games with the exception of the Inmate/Buckeye showdown. Those 14 games are scheduled for Sunday at Buckeye Park.

Thursday, October 30, 2008


Tweeners 4, Inmates 1

From the Tweeners...
Not exactly what we had in mind, but Tweeners embraced the role of "spoiler". Smoltz pitched a strong game 5 to avoid a sweep. Tweeners finish at 74-88. Wish I could be a spectator for the big Inmates/Buckeyes showdown.

The Inmate losses lifted the Buckeyes into first place in the MFD by half a game with a just over one day left in the regular season. Yep, those last 14 head-to-head games should be fun. The winner will have the home field advantage in the first round of the playoffs; the loser is finished.

Just got another update...

Inmates 5, Nads 2
Still waiting on the Nads to confirm. The Inmates leapfrog back into first. They lead the Buckeyes by 1 with just the 14 head-to-head games remaining.

Rhinos 5, Zaps 5
The Rhinos clinch the BUD. They will host a first round series.

And finally...

Warpigs 4, Oilers 3 at the BallPork

Game 1: Pigs 17, Oilers 7 - The Warpigs pounded out 7 homers, 5 of them off of Braden Looper, and scored in every inning. Vic Martinez went 4-5 with 7 RBI.

Game 2: Pigs 4, Oilers 3 - Albert Pujols hit 2 solo homers, including a game-winning walk off homer in the 9th. Mark Ellis had 3 hits and a homer.

Game 3: Oilers 6, Pigs 4 - The Oilers scored early off of Jake Westbrook, and then held on. Hunter Pence homered for the second straight game. Pujols went 3-4 with another homer.

Game 4: Oilers 3, Pigs 1 - Four Oiler pitchers combined on a 1-hitter. The one hit was yet another Pujols home run. Xavier Nady hit a 3-run double in the third for all of the Oiler runs.

Game 5: Oilers 5, Pigs 2 - Shawn Hill went 8 innings in the win. Jason Varitek homered and Eric Chavez had 3 hits. Pujols' homer streak came to an end.

Game 6: Pigs 7, Oilers 5 - The Pigs erased a 5-0 deficit with 5 runs in the 4th inning. The big blow was a 3-run home run by Garrett Atkins. Nady and Chavez both had 3 hits for the Oilers.

Game 7: Pigs 1, Oilers 0 - Mark Ellis hit a homer in the bottom of the 8th inning and Felix Hernandez threw a complete game 5 hitter. He walked 2 and struck out 11. Both walks were intentional passes to Jim Thome. A quandry was narrowly avoided in the sixth. Oiler starter Shawn Marcum had a no-hitter entering the inning, which was to be his last inning of the year. I had already made up my mind that Marcum should be allowed to continue pitching if his no-hitter was intact, especially considering this was the last game ever for the historic Oilers. A single by Kelly Johnson with 1 out in the 6th made the decision moot.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Free Taco

Between 2-6 today at Taco Bell. Tell 'em Jason Bartlett sent ya.

Monday, October 27, 2008


Tweeners 2, Sidewinders 2

From the Snakeman... The "highlight"was 2 homeruns by the rarely used Mark DeRosa for a 2-1 win in game 2 for the Snakes.

The Killer Bees have clinched the AWD, but the Snakes have clinched a playoff berth and with one more win (they have 5 games left) they will lock up the #5 seed.

Sunday, October 26, 2008


Wahoos 7, Oilers 1

The Wahoos end their season at 85-77. They are 2 Rhino wins away (the Rhinos have 10 games to play) from being officially eliminated from a post season.


Today is the last weekend day of October. Halloween is Friday. All games should be played by then, and there a quite a few remaining. By my record, we are still waiting on results for...
Oilers vs Warpigs 7
Oilers vs Wahoos 8
Zaps vs Rhinos 10
Zaps vs Nads 10
Sidewinders vs Tweeners 4
Sidewinders vs Nads 5
Tweeners vs Inmates 5
Buckeyes vs Inmates 14
Nads vs Inmates 7

Get on the phone and sort things out.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008


In 2004, the Warpigs used a reserve pick to take B.J. Upton, and then later used a 12th round pick to select Chase Utley. They were going to be my U2 Double Play Combo for years to come.

Before 2005 started I had traded Utley to the DVs for Dewon Brazelton (I also convinced him to let me throw in a 9th round pick).
Before the 2007 season I threw the disappointing Upton into a deal with the Rhinos. I had to put on the hard sell to get him to let me include Upton in the deal.


Now they're both on the big stage in the 2008 World Series.

That would be the 2008 MLB World Series. They have yet to play in a NASOMA Series. Maybe one of them can this year.

Leave it to a Pig

Jason Bartlett's 5th inning steal of 2b in game 1 of the World Series earned everybody in America a free taco at Taco Bell.

Visit a participating Taco Bell on October 28th between 2 and 6 and get your free Pig Taco.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


Oilers 4, Warpigs 3 all at Oiler Field

Game 1 - Oilers 8, Pigs 6 - Casey Blake hit a 2-run, walk off homer in the 9th for the win.

Game 2 - Oilers 3, Pigs 2 - Both teams scored 2 in the first. Jason Varitek hit a solo home run in the 2nd for the Oilers, and the Oiler bullpen did the rest.

Game 3 - Pigs 4, Oilers 1 - Jesse Litsch went 7 innings for the win, and Vic Martinez went 4-4 with three doubles.

Game 4 - Pigs 3, Oilers 2 - Delmon Young's clutch single in the 9th drove in the winning run.

Game 5 - Oilers 7, Pigs 6 - The Oilers led 4-2 with 2 outs in the top of the 9th when Jason Bartlett hit a 3-run homer. Joba Chamberlain came in to save it... and couldn't. Jimmy Rollins took him deep to tie the game. In the 10th, Vic Martinez homered for the Pigs and again Joba (trying to use his last third of an inning for the year) couldn't hold it. Jason Varitek hit a 2-out, 2-run homer for the Oiler win.

Game 6 - Pigs 5, Oilers 2 - Curtis Granderson went 3-4 with a double and homer for the Pigs.

Game 7 - Oilers 3, Pigs 2 - Shawn Marcum got the win over Chad Gaudin. Xavier Nady homered.

The Warpigs clinched the worst record in the league. Anybody want to trade up to #1? David Price is looking good.

Monday, October 20, 2008


The Wahoos traded their 7th round pick to the Killer Bees for Damaso Marte.

Sunday, October 19, 2008


Killer Bees 3, Inmates 2 at the Baptist Bowl

From the HEAD INMATE...

Inmates lose 3 of 5 vs Bees at the Baptist Bowl. The single highlight (?) was the walk-off homer by Dunn in the bottom of the 18th inning of game 5 to salvage a 5-4 Inmate win.

Pena hit 4 taters on the day for the Bees. He sucks.

The Bees end their season at 102-60. The Sidewinders have 9 games remaining, and if they lose any one of them, the Bees clinch the AWD.

The Inmates' lead over the Buckeyes is 1 game. They have 7 left with the Nads and 5 with the Tweeners before their final 14 vs the Buckeyes. The runner-up in this division will probably not make the playoffs.

Saturday, October 18, 2008


Wahoos 4, Zaps 1 at The Reservation

The Chief reports...
Our highlight was Scott Baker tossing a complete-game shutout.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Matt Stairs and the DV Man

I remember the DVs used to talk about loving the draft every year because "there's no better feeling than getting your ass hammered by the guys."

Thursday, October 16, 2008


I bet Boston fans wish I had put up this latest poll earlier.

I put this poll up during the 7th inning stretch of game 5. The Rays were up 7-0, people were streaming out of Fenway... And I decided to see what kind of influence I, the Pigman, could have on a game being played so far away.

So I put up the poll. The Sox score 4 in the 7th, 3 in the 8th, and get a 2-out, walk off run in the 9th. All because I put up a poll asking you to select the World Series winner between the Rays and Phillies.

This is why I could never watch a Maddux game and why I still can't watch my players on tv. I have that kind of power. It's scary. Mrs. Pig just doesn't understand. Well, she understands that I'm scary, but she doesn't understand the kind of influence I can have.

I need to find a way to make money off of this curse gift.


Zaps 2, Bees 1 (at the Hive)

Snakes 5, Tweeners 1

The Killer Bee magic number is now 4, and they are 1 win away from 100 with 5 to play.


The Zaps took 4 out of 7 from the Killer Bees. The Bee magic number is down to 6 to clinch the AWD.

Even bigger news: for the first time in a long time, the Zaps are not the team with the most remaining games. That honor now falls to the Inmates.

Also, the Zapper has sent out instructions for his remaining games. Bees, Wahoos, Rhinos, and Nads: Use those instructions and play those home and away games anytime between now and the end of the month. In fact, those Zap games will close out the regular season for the Bees and Rhinos.

Everybody's doing a great job at getting games played and results reported.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Remaining Matchups

According to my records, here are the matchups that still remain. You guys get on the phone to each other and make arrangements if you haven't already done so.

Oilers vs Warpigs (14)
Oilers vs Wahoos (8)
Rhinos vs Zaps (10)
Wahoos vs Zaps (5)
Killer Bees vs Zaps (10)
Killer Bees vs Inmates (5)
Zaps vs Nads (10)
Sidewinders vs Tweeners (10)
Sidewinders vs Nads (5)
Tweeners vs Inmates (5)
Buckeyes vs Inmates (14)
Nads vs Inmates (7)

That's only 12 different match ups, but 6 of them are for 10 or more games.

Congratulations to the NERDD for being the first division to finish.

Remember to send your final stats here and to the Chief.

Playoff Plans

Unless something really weird happens, it appears our playoff teams are going to be the Rhinos from the BUD, the Bees and Snakes from the AWD, the Drillers and DVs from the NERDD, and either the Inmates or Buckeyes from the MFD. In fact, at the moment those are the only seven teams in the league over .500.

So I guess you need to make a decision about the playoffs. It appears 4 of the 6 teams will be from outside Texas. Does that mean a Netplay postseason? Or do you want to come here to play? Or somewhere else? And if so, when? And if you come here, do you prefer the Driller Digs or the Warpig Suites? I'm sure I speak for the Driller Dude when I say either is available.

Here are the possible weekends:
Oct. 31 -Nov. 2
Nov. 7-9
Nov. 14-16
Nov. 21-23
Nov. 28-30 (Thanksgiving is the 27th)
Dec. 5-7
Dec. 12-14
Dec. 19-21

But that's only if you play face to face. If you netplay, then you can play pretty much whenever, as long as you play within whatever deadlines the Commisioner sets.

You guys talk among yourselves and let the rest of us know. I'd hate to see a netplay post season, but I understand the monetary savings it would aide.

Reminder... All regular season games must be completed by Halloween. All final stats are due by Thanksgiving weekend.


Warpigs 3, Wahoos 0

At the BallPork, the Warpigs all but eliminated the Wahoos from any hope of making the post season.

Game 1
Pigs 3, Hoos 0 - Cole Hamels and John Lackey matched zeroes until Lackey ran out of innings after the 6th. Hamels came out after allowing two baserunners in the bottom of the 8th. Jason Frasor relieved him and was greeted by a 3-run homer by Albert Pujols. Joba Chamberlain pitched the 9th for the save. Joel Pineiero got the win.

Game 2
Pigs 8, Hoos 7 - On the strength of 3 home runs, the Wahoos took a 7-2 lead to the 8th inning, but Garrett Atkins hit a 2-out, 2-run homer in the 8th to cut the Wahoo lead to 7-4. That was the score entering the bottom of the 9th. With C.J. Wilson on the mound, Delmon Young pinch hit and got a 1-out single. Justin Speier then came on and allowed a single to pinch-hitter Marcus Thames. With the tying run now at the plate, the Chief turned to ace stopper Carlos Marmol, but he walked Travis Hafner to load the bases. Albert Pujols was up next and ended the game in style with a walk-off grand slam. Gavin Floyd got the win in relief.

Game 3
Pigs 6, Hoos 2 - Again the Wahoos took a lead into the late innings. Again they squandered it. Down 2-1 at the 7th inning stretch, the Warpigs put together a hit batter and five base hits for a 5-run inning. The tying run came on a pinch single by Wilson Betemit, and the go ahead run scored on a 2-out clutch single by Marcus Thames. Pujols's RBI double and Ryan Church's 2-run single followed. Joba Chamberlain saved the game for starter and winner Edwin Jackson. Fausto Carmona took the loss.

That game-tying single by Betemit was on a roll that read Single 1-3, gb(1B)B 4-20. The corners were in, so the ground ball to first would have erased the runner on third trying to score. Betemit rolled the 3. The Thames clutch single was, as far as I can recall, the first Warpig omega hit of the year.

In his last at bats of the three games, Pujols went a combined 3-3 with a double, 2 homers, 3 runs scored and 8 RBI.

Needless to say, it was not a good day for the Wahoos. The Rhinos' magic number is down to 4. The Wahoos have 13 games remaining. The Rhinos have 10.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Still More Games

Warpigs 3, DVs 2

The DVs won 2 of the first 3 to clinch a tie for the NERDD with the Drillers, but when the calendar turned to September, the Pig bats got hot. The Warpigs outscored the DVs in the final two games 27-4, with most of the damage coming from Albert Pujols and Garrett Atkins.

The game scores...
Gm 1 - DVs 2, Pigs 1 - Felix Hernandez loses his 20th game of the year, but it wasn't his fault. The DV runs came in the first inning when, with two outs, the 2e5 at 2b let a ball go past him for a single. Ken Griffey then doubled in both runners. Roger Clemens went 5 for the win. Bobby Jenks got the save.

Gm 2 - Pigs 8, DVs 5 - The Pigs scored early and often off of Scott Kazmir and Aaron Heilman. Pujols went 3-4 with a homer and Atkins hit a 3-run homer. Jair Jurrjens got the win. Edgar Gonzalez went 3 innings for the save.

Gm 3 - DVs 13, Pigs 7 - The big 4 for the DVs (Todd Helton, Magglio Ordonez, Chase Utley, and Matt Holliday) combined to go 12-19, leading the DVs to a 13-7 blowout win. John Maine threw a 1-hitter for 7.1 innings, but walked 8. It was 13-0 going to the 9th, but the Pigs finally put some hits together, including a grand slam by Marcus Thames. The 7 run outburst was a sign of things to come.

Gm 4 - Pigs 17, DVs 1 - The Warpigs pounded the DV pitching for 17 runs and 22 hits. Eight of the nine batters for the Pigs had multi-hit games. Scot "Panty" Shields took one for the team, going 7.1 innings in relief but allowing 11 runs on 16 hits and 5 walks. Jurrjens threw a complete game for the Warpigs.

Gm 5 - Pigs 10, DVs 3 - In the big showdown game, with the NERDD title (and probable first round bye) on the line, the DVs led 3-2 going to the 6th, but former DV Jason Bartlett homered to tie the game. Then in the top of the 7th, with Joba Chamberlain stirring in the Pig pen, the Warpigs exploded for 6 runs, the last 3 coming on a Pujols homer. Jenks was pounded, giving up all 6 of the runs. John Lackey went 6 for the win. Chris Capuano mopped up the last 3 innings for the save.

The DVs end the year 95-67 and tied for first in the NERDD with the Drillers. A 1-game playoff will be played to determine which one will represent the NERDD as division champ.

More Games

Zaps 5, Tweeners 2

From the Tweeners' Al Davis...
Tweeners players finally get the message that we are playing for draft position. We drop 5 straight in La-La land before winning the last 2. The offense got on track in game 6 with a typical Tweener rally; with one out we go HBP-BB-HBP-WP-PB-GBA(RBI) for a huge 3-run inning. Tweeners now 67-80, remaining games vs. Inmates (5) and Snakes (10).


The Mets DVs are stumbling toward the finish line. With a playoff spot already guaranteed, a NERDD title would most likely come with a first round bye in the playoffs. Unfortunately for the Mets DVs, their half game lead over the Drillers puts them in a must win position, and they aren't winning.

In games last night...
DVs 3, Zaps 2
Fungoes 2, DVs 1

The Mets DVs have three games remaining (to be played tonight via netplay against the last place Warpigs). The Mets DVs must win 3 of the 5 to clinch the NERDD.

From the tense DV clubhouse...
No Comment

Tuesday, October 07, 2008


Zaps 4, Mavs 1

From the Zapper...
The Zaps took four of five with some timely hitting.

The Mavs finish their season at 65-97.

Loose Ends

The Drillers' Magic Number to win the NERDD is 8.

Apparently, even though there are twice as many Starbucks as Dunkin Donuts locations, DD has moved ahead of SB as the hottest coffee chain. I'm not sure I understand why, and I'm pretty sure I no longer care, but I'm definitely sorry I brought it up. And I have still never had a cup of coffee in my life.

Yes, I need to get out more.

I have one uncarded spot this year, and if he makes it to the 3rd round, I'm taking Seth Spears.

The Zapper tells me if the Pigs owned Josh Hamilton that I'd suggest he should be a 1. He is correct. We could always test the theory. Trade me Josh Hamilton so we can find out for sure.

I am proud to have gotten some votes on biggest jerk, but how do I have more than Kenny Rogers?!? I haven't punched out any cameramen. Yet.

Monday, October 06, 2008

Just wondering...

All through these playoff games I keep hearing that more people get their coffee from Dunkin' Donuts than anywhere else. That can't possibly be true, can it? There is a Starbucks on every corner (two on some), and I can't tell you right now where a single Dunkin' Donuts is. There is even a Starbucks inside the nearest Tom Thumb grocery store now.

I don't drink coffee, but that just seems like a ridiculous statement.

Sunday, October 05, 2008


DVs 3, Tweeners 2

From the Tweeners...
Tweeners get shut out in games one and two. We finally score in our 22nd inning vs. DV pitching, and win game 3 by recording our own shutout. In game 4 both teams actually score, but DV's score more. Oswalt and friends hold DV's to one run in game 5 to salvage the split. Lowell and Ordonez go a combined 20 for 39 in the series.

The DV magic number to win the NERDD is now 7. The have a one half game lead over the Drillers.

Friday, October 03, 2008


On some polls, like this new one, you may vote for more than one choice.

Thursday, October 02, 2008


The FFTs trade Manny Ramirez, Billy Wagner, and the FFT 3rd rounder to the Warpigs for Felix Hernandez, Joba Chamberlain, and Delmon Young.

I just screwed up.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Standings Update 10-1-08

With a month to go in the season, here are the current standings:

B.U.D. W L % GB
Remaining Games Last Update
Rhinos 84 68 .553 --
10 9/23/08
Wahoos 74 72 .507 7.0
16 9/28/08
Oilers 61 79 .436 17.0
22 9/28/08
Warpigs 47 93 .336 31.0
22 9/22/08
M.F.D. W L % GB

Inmates 73 58 .557 --
31 9/7/08
Buckeyes 80 68 .541 1.5
14 9/28/08
Nads 68 72 .486 9.5
22 9/30/08
Mavs 64 93 .408 22.0
5 9/22/08
A.W.D. W L % GB

Killer Bees 95 52 .646 --
15 7/30/08
Sidewinders 88 59 .599 7.0
15 9/30/08
Tweeners 63 72 .467 26.0
27 9/24/08
Zaps 52 58 .473 24.5
52 9/27/08
N.E.R.D.D. W L % GB

DVs 86 58 .597 --
18 9/15/08
Drillers 95 67 .586 0.0
0 9/16/08
Fungoes 67 92 .421 26.5
3 9/27/08
FFTs 63 99 .389 32.0
0 8/23/08

The Magic Numbers at the moment are...
Rhinos (7)
Inmates (22)
Killer Bees (9)
DVs (10)

The Tweeners, Zaps, and Inmates failed to reach the 140 game mark by the end of the month and have been given demerits.

All games must be finished and reported by the end of October. Full stats are due by the end of November.


The FFTs trade the Buckeye 1st round pick to the Killer Bees for Tim Hudson.