Wednesday, August 31, 2011


The Killer Bees traded Jair Jurrjens to the Sidewinders for Carlos Beltran.

Sidewinders at Zaps

Zaps 4, Snakes 0

Zaps destroyed snakes. 9-4,11-9,1-0 and 8-2
Game 3 has to be the oddest game I have ever played. Jonathan Sanchez took a no-hitter into the 10th before Utley singled with two outs. Sanchez finished with a line of 9.2 ip, no runs,1 hit,10BB and 13 K Scherzer pitched a 12 inning CG shutout. Feliz yielded a Cabrera sac fly scoring McCutchen in the bottom of the 12th. I hate this fucking game.hahaha

Zaps at Killer Bees

Bees 2, Zaps 2

Zaps split four at the Bees in May.

Game 1-Hudson outduels Greinke 1-0.

Game 2- In a see-saw game the Bees finally get the upper hand and hold on 6-5 even though Verlander gives up three taters.

Game 3- Fielder hits two of the Zaps four homers on the way to an 8-2 triumph.

Game 4- Westbrook gets 5 GIDP’s as the Zaps take the getaway 5-2.

Killer Bees at Zaps

Zaps 4, Bees 3

Zaps go 4-3 at their place against the Bees. I fuckin hate Wandy Rodriguez and all of your LHPs. I drafted my team thinking I could kill lefties, but it has not turned out that way.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

DVs at Fungoes

DVs 3, Fungoes 3

DVs and Fungoes slogged through 6 games at the Fungo-loid Gravity Intensive Ballpark, with each winning 3.

G1 9-3 DVs win, I was trimming my toenails so I didnt notice what really happened, just the final

G2 2-1 DVs win, in 10 A suicide squeeze plates the winning run in the top of the 10th. In this park, suicide is a pretty common occurrence among fans and visiting managers

G3 4-1 DVs win, as gravity is turned up to ridiculous levels and the baseball can only travel 110 feet at a time

G4 7-4 (10) Fungoes win. DVs are feeling good with a big series lead, Halladay on the bump and plenty of smokin hot trim looking on in the stands. But alas, Nelson Cruz turns the gravity meter down long enough to hit a 3 run walk off HR to win

G5 4-2 Fungoes win as reality returns to the DVs

G6 7-5 Fungoes win as DVs wait for the start of fantasy football

Tweeners at Zaps

Tweeners 2, Zaps 2

Beating the end-of-month DemeritMan, Tweeners and Zaps split 4 in LA-LA land. Zaps squeak by in game 1 by a score of 18-2; Dallas Braden credited with the CG. Game 2 goes to the Tweeners 10-2. Felix and friends combine for the game 3 shutout, Tweeners beat Johnson 2-0. Zaps pound us again in game 4 by a score of 11-0. I'll send stats and shit in a day or two, but wanted to get the results posted ASAP.

Sidewinders at Nads

Snakes 3, Nads 2

4/28/11 Nads wins 6-5.Willingham and Montero homer and Danks sux. Mauer thrown out at the plate to end the game.

4/29/11 Snakes win 5-4 in 10 innings

4/30/11 Sanchez beats Wells 7-2;snakes get 13 hits.

9/5/11 Jimenez goes the distance allowing an unearned run in 6-1 SSWs victory

9/6/11 Danks once again had the drizzling shits and the Snakes lose 5-4.Dempster wins and Lyon gets the save. Ross and Mora homer for the Wrinkled Pink Crew.

Took the family to the Reds game Sunday- 14 inning win for the Reds. 3 ejections,Bruce homered, Stubbs threw out a runner at 3rd and Votto hit 2 homeruns including the walkoff. Great first game right, one they will always remeber! WRONG!!

We left after three innings and I watched the game when we got home.....In the top of the first Cate had to go to the bathroom again.In the bottom of the first she said she would sure like to sit in the shade. In the top of the second she was ready to go home,bottom of the third Addie agreed so we took off. Next time it will be just me and Mollie.HAHAHA


Sunday, August 28, 2011

DVs vs Inmates

DVs 4, Inmates 3

DVs won 2 games at their home park and then went 2-3 at The Prison to end their season series with the Inmates.

(First 3 at The Prison)

Game 1 Inmates win 5-4, and even though Inmates say he sux, Cargo hits a HR that is the difference

2 DVs win 5-4 when Pennington chokes in the clutch in the bottom of the 9th. DVs had scored 3 in the 8th

3 Inmates lead 5-0, then hold on to win 6-4

Games 4 and (at DVs)

4 Halladay wins his 17th 4-2

5 11 inning marathon ends in a DV 6-5 win after Fowler has a walk off 1B

Games 6 an 7 back at the Prison

6- DVs win 4-1 as Halladay wins his 18th

7 Inmates plate 5 in the 8th after the DVs have to rest Latos (who was locked in a scoreless tie with Billingsley) and go on to win 5-0

Friday, August 26, 2011

DVs at Nads

DVs 4, Nads 1

Game 1 – Halladay wins an EQA game 11-0

Game 2 – DVs win in 10 in a well played game, 2-1

Game 3 – Someone named Wells (David? Vernon? Beanie?) shuts out DVs 3-0 behind Gonzalez’ 5 hits

Game 4- Lackey wins 7-2 (yes, very surprising)

Game 5 – Halladay outduels Wilson 5-3

DVs have now won 13 of their last 15 to better position them for the first pick in the draft. (I know I wasn’t in the room at the draft, but we DID pass the rule about the best team not making the playoffs gets that pick- right?????)

Buckeyes at DVs

DVs 4, Buckeyes 1

DVs stay hot and beat the hated Buckeyes 4 games to 1 at the DV park via (a surprisingly stable) netplay connection.

Game 1 – Latos CG stymies the Bucks after DVs score all their runs in the first. 4-0 DVs

Game 2 – Stanton hits a mammoth HR in the 8th to propel DVs to a 6-5 come from behind win

Game 3 – Buckeyes win 6-4 behind 2 hits and 2 RBIs a piece by Buck and Pence

Game 4 – DVs get a Granderson walk off home run to win 3-2

Game 5 – McCann hits a walk off home run in the 11th to capture a 7-6 DV win

Series will conclude at the Buckeyes park (with most likely different results)

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Zaps at Tweeners

Zaps 6, Tweeners 1

Zaps take six of seven in Logan County .

Game 1-Zaps pound out 14 hits on the way to a 9-1 win.

Game 2-Crawford’s grand slam in the top of the 9th keys a 6-4 Zap comeback.

Game 3-Cabrera & Bautista his back to back taters in the first on the way to a 6-1 Zap win.

Game 4-Tweeners score 4 in the first and Hernandez makes it stand up for a 5-3 victory.

Game 5-Crawford drives in five runs to lead the Zaps to a 9-2 triumph.

Game 6-Cabrera’s tater in the top of the 9th breaks leads the Zaps to a 9-7 squeker.

Game 7-Johnson and Aardsman help the Zaps take the getaway 9-1.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Zaps at Fungoes

Zaps 2, Fungoes 1

Game 1-Fungoes bats demolish the Zaps 13-2

Game 2-Zaps pen outduels the Fungoe pen to split the doubleheader.

Game 3-Westbrook and the pen win the getaway game 1-0

Zaps at SuperGoofs

Zaps 1, Goofs 1

Game 1-Bautista hits two homers and the Zaps win in the 10.

Game 2-Tori Hunter hits a walk-off taters to win it in extras.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Tweeners vs Sidewinders

Tweeners 5, Snakes 1

Dice chattered in Lexington. Tweeners swept a 3 game set @ Stanley. In game 1 Corey Hart hit a 3-run homer in the first inning, and we scored 2 more in the 5th without benefit of a hit; Wainwright did his part, Tweeners won 5-3. Game 2 was nip & tuck, Victorino drove in a run with 2 outs in the 9th, Tweeners prevailed 4-3. Dan Hudson improved his record to 6-1 as Tweeners took game 3 by a score of 4-2. King Felix kicked off the homestand with a 4-hit, 10-K shutout, final score 3-0. Tweeners' bullpen failed in game 5, as Romo gave up a game-tying 3-run homer to some schmo in the 9th inning, Snakes won 6-4 in 12. In the finale the our 14 hits included 8 doubles, Tweeners' record crept over .500 with the 8-4 win.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

SuperGoofs at Killer Bees

Goofs 3, Bees 2

Game 1 Goofs 8 Bees 4 - Goofs get homers by Johnson, Quentin, and Overbay to overpower Bees.
Game 2 Goofs 6 Bees 5 - A Huff with a 3 run HR in the 8th is the difference. Adams gets the save.
Game 3 Bees 7 Goofs 1 - Francour 3 for 4 with a HR. Hudson complete game 6 hitter
Game 4 Goofs 8 Bees 5 (11 innings) - Choo with a 3run HR off Valverde in the 11th wins it
Game 5 Bees 7 Goofs 5 - Cano and Texiera with HR as the 5 run Bee 3rd is too much

SuperGoofs at Zaps

Zaps 3, Goofs 2

Game 1 - Zaps 8 Goofs 7 - Zaps rally for 3 in the 9th off Adams. Vaciendo hits walkoff 2 run HR to win it.
Game 2 - Zaps 6 Goofs 1 - W Rodriguez & Kuo combine on a 7 hitter. A. Jones 3 for 4 with 2 HR's
Game 3 - Goofs 7 Zaps 6 - Adams holds the 1 run lead this time to get the save. 4 Zap errors lead to 2 unearned run.
Game 4 - Zaps 4 Goofs 0 - Johnson and Ku combine on a 4 hitter. Fielder with an HR
Game 5 - Goofs 16 Zaps 12 - A wild one. 3 more Zap errors lead to 4 unearned runs. A. Jones hits 3 more HR's.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

FFTs vs Rhinos

Rhinos 6, FFTs 4

Rhinos kick butt... BUT... the FFTs finish their season first. Yea!

Friday, August 19, 2011

Wahoos vs FFTs

FFTs 6, Wahoos 4

2011 GARTH WAHOOS At 2011 TERRY FFT'S 4/26/2011
WAHOOS.......... 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 - 1 9 0
FFT'S........... 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 - 2 8 0
In a game for the baseball purist, Ervin Santana(12-15) and Fausto
Carmona(2-2) squared off in a tense pitching duel, TERRY FFT'S finally
emerged victorious over GARTH WAHOOS, 2 to 1.
TERRY tallied 1 run in the 5th inning. GARTH made it exciting in the 9th, but
they were unable to push the needed runs across.
Mariano Rivera recorded his 37th save. 'He gutted it out' TERRY's manager
said of Santana. 'I was very impressed by his tenacity.'
2011 GARTH WAHOOS At 2011 TERRY FFT'S 4/27/2011
WAHOOS.......... 1 0 0 3 0 0 0 0 2 - 6 7 0
FFT'S........... 1 2 2 0 2 0 0 0 - 7 12 2
The TERRY FFT'S and the GARTH WAHOOS locked up in an exciting one-run game at
Qualcomm Stadium. The final score was the TERRY FFT'S 7, the GARTH WAHOOS
GARTH was unable to recover after TERRY went ahead in the bottom of the 2nd
inning when they scored 2 runs on 2 hits. The big moment was provided by
Derrek Lee who brought the crowd to their feet when he cracked a two-run
shot. GARTH had a chance in the 9th but they came up short.
Stephen Strasburg(5-5) went 5 innings allowing 4 runs for the victory. Mariano
Rivera gained credit for his 38th save. Tommy Hunter(0-2) was the loser. He
allowed a few too many baserunners giving up 11 hits and 4 walks in 6
2011 TERRY FFT'S At 2011 GARTH WAHOOS 6/7/2011
FFT'S........... 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 - 0 4 0
WAHOOS.......... 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 - 5 12 0
Jeremy Guthrie shutout TERRY while allowing the GARTH bullpen a day-off at PNC
Park where the GARTH WAHOOS beat the TERRY FFT'S 5 to 0.
Guthrie(4-1) looked very much in control throughout the night. He surrendered
only 4 hits and 4 walks in 9 innings reducing his ERA from 3.27 to 2.57.
GARTH managed 12 hits in their victory.
The loss was charged to Jered Weaver(13-13). He got hit hard, allowing 11
hits and 3 walks in 7 and 1/3 innings.
2011 TERRY FFT'S At 2011 GARTH WAHOOS 6/8/2011
FFT'S........... 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 - 1 8 0
WAHOOS.......... 0 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 - 3 11 1
At PNC Park, the GARTH fans witnessed a great pitcher's duel. R.A.
Dickey(3-0) finally bested his TERRY opposite, James McDonald(3-2), by the
score of 3 to 1.
Dickey pitched a solid game. He was stingy on the mound, allowing just 7 hits
and no walks in 8 innings lowering his ERA from 3.38 to 2.36. GARTH had 11
hits for the game and TERRY had 8.
Brian Fuentes preserved the game for Dickey, recording his his 2nd. McDonald
was the loser. For GARTH the victory was a welcome one, indeed. They had
been struggling in their last ten games with a disappointing 2-8 record.
With this loss, TERRY has a 6-4 record of late, 83-66 overall.
2011 TERRY FFT'S At 2011 GARTH WAHOOS 6/9/2011
FFT'S........... 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 - 1 3 1
WAHOOS.......... 0 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 - 2 8 0
Fausto Carmona(3-2) and Ervin Santana(13-16) treated the GARTH fans to a fine
pitching duel at PNC Park. The GARTH WAHOOS eventually emerged as victors
over the TERRY FFT'S by the score of 2 to 1.
Carmona earned his pay with a solid performance for GARTH. He allowed 3 hits
and 6 walks in 7 and 2/3 innings seeing his ERA drop from 2.36 to 2.10.
GARTH ended up with 8 hits for the game while TERRY had 3.
Carlos Marmol recorded his 2nd save.
2011 GARTH WAHOOS At 2011 TERRY FFT'S 7/20/2011
WAHOOS.......... 0 1 0 3 0 0 0 0 0 - 4 8 0
FFT'S........... 0 1 0 0 0 4 1 0 - 6 14 0

In a close game it was the TERRY FFT'S 6, the GARTH WAHOOS 4 at Qualcomm
TERRY scored 4 runs in the bottom of the 6th inning when they came up with 4
base hits. The big moment was provided by Manny Ramirez who brought a roar
from the partisan Qualcomm Stadium fans when he bombed a two-run dinger.
Mariano Rivera came throught with a perfect ninth inning to earn his 39th
Matt Belisle(4-4) got credit for the victory, pitching 3 innings and allowing
no runs. Edward Mujica(1-1) suffered the loss in relief. He pitched 2/3 of
an inning giving up 5 hits and no walks.
2011 GARTH WAHOOS At 2011 TERRY FFT'S 7/21/2011 GAME ONE
WAHOOS.......... 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 - 0 4 0
FFT'S........... 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 - 1 6 0
]Ervin Santana had an impressive outing as the TERRY FFT'S defeated the GARTH
WAHOOS by the score of 1 to 0 at Qualcomm Stadium.
Santana(13-15) escaped virtually unscathed against the GARTH hitters. He
allowed just 4 hits and 1 walk in 8 innings. Santana recorded 9 strikeouts.
GARTH had a chance in the 9th but they came up short.
Santana got help from Joe Thatcher who was credited with his 5th save. The
losing pitcher was Jeremy Guthrie(3-1). He surrendered 1 run and 6 hits in 7
WAHOOS.......... 3 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 - 5 8 0
FFT'S........... 3 0 2 0 2 0 1 0 - 8 16 0
Hideki Matsui connected with a 'big fly' and Joe Thatcher stopped GARTH cold
as the TERRY FFT'S beat the GARTH WAHOOS by a score of 8 to 5.
James McDonald(3-1) struggled but was good enough to win with the help of some
fine defensive plays. He gave up 5 runs in 6 innings. GARTH could do no
damage in the 9th.
Thatcher was credited with his 6th save. Ricky Nolasco(1-1) absorbed the
loss. He allowed TERRY 7 runs in 5 and 2/3 innings of work.
2011 TERRY FFT'S At 2011 GARTH WAHOOS 9/3/2011
FFT'S........... 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 2 2 - 5 12 0
WAHOOS.......... 0 0 0 0 3 0 0 0 0 - 3 9 1

In a close game the TERRY FFT'S got by the GARTH WAHOOS by the score of 5 to
TERRY came up with the deciding runs in the 9th inning scoring 2 runs
utilizing 3 base hits. After two were out Mark Ellis started the attack as
he lined a one-base hit. TERRY's manager then called for a steal which was
successful. Ichiro Suzuki then smacked a single. Josh Hamilton followed
next and he drew a walk. Jeff Keppinger stepped into the box and stroked a
single. GARTH was out-hit by TERRY, 12 hits to 9.
Joe Thatcher(3-2) picked up the victory, allowing no runs in 1 inning.
Thatcher got relief help from J.J. Putz who gained credit for his 4th save.
Kyle McClellan(0-2) was charged with the loss in relief. He surrendered 3
hits and no walks in 1 and 1/3 innings.
2011 TERRY FFT'S At 2011 GARTH WAHOOS 9/4/2011
FFT'S........... 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 - 1 8 1
WAHOOS.......... 0 0 0 0 3 1 1 0 - 5 11 0
J.A. Happ went the distance as the GARTH WAHOOS defeated the TERRY FFT'S 5 to
1 at PNC Park.
Happ(1-0) gave a fine effort for GARTH. He was reached for 8 hits and 8 walks
in 9 innings. GARTH had a total of 11 hits for the game.
Roy Oswalt(19-8) was tagged with the loss. Although losing the contest, he
whiffed 12 batters in 6 innings. With this win, GARTH has a division leading
14-10 record. They have been 4-6 lately. TERRY has a record of 84-68 after
the loss.


The Warpigs traded Jim Thome, Adam Lind, Gordon Beckham, and a 2012 reserve to the Sidewinders for Nick Markakis and Jonathan Sanchez.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011


The Killer Bees traded Tim Hudson to the Rhinos for Andre Ethier and an 8th round pick.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Congratulations on 600

DVs at Wahoos

DVs 5, Wahoos 0

DVs extract revenge on Wahoos - sweep 5 at The Reservation

Wahoos previously had swept 5 at the DV home park – DiamondVision finally grow a set and return the favor with a 5 game sweep themselves.

Main theme of the series was the DVs being able to capitalize with big innings and clutch hitting- it seemed the ball park singles came up at the perfect time- while the Wahoos couldn’t buy a break.

Game 1 – Ka ‘Aihue grand slam in a 6 run inning powers DVs to a 10-2 shellacking.

Game 2 – DVs score 5 RUNS on 3 HITS, while the Wahoos score 4 RUNS on 13 HITS. DVs utilized the sac bunt, steal, sac bunt, cha cha cha to milk a couple of runs, while the ‘Hoos would continually throw for the lead runner to no avail. Even more frustrating for the Chief was Travis Hafner missing a walk off BP homer (1-6- he rolled an 8) to end the game.

Game 3 – Kinsler and Andruss gather 3 hits each as the DVs roll 8-2, which included another 4 run inning

Game 4 – A 6 run ninth inning, started by a Pedro Alvarez homer, turns a tight game into a 10-4 stunner.

Game 5 – DVs wrap up the series with a 4 run 5th inning and cruise behind a Lackey complete game 6-1.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Buckeyes at SuperGoofs

Buckeyes 5, NotSoSuperGoofs 0

Game 1 - Buckeyes 8 Goofs 2 - Prado an HR and 3 RBI's
Game 2 - Buckeyes 7 Goofs 4 - A 6 run Buckeye 6th capped by a Casper Wells 2 run oinch hit single.
Game 3 - Buckeyes 8 Goofs 2 - Barton with 4 hits in support of Carpenter
Game 4 - Buckeyes 8 Goofs 2 - The 3rd time in 4 games that the score is 8-2. Buck with 3 hits including an HR and 4 RBI's. Pence with 3 hits and 3 RBI's
Game 5 - Buckeyes 5 Goofs 2 - Bg Papu with 2 HR's and 3 RBI's as Hamels throw a cmplete game 5 hitter.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Warpigs vs SuperGoofs

Pigs 8, Goofs 6

1 - Warpigs won 7-5
2 - Warpigs won 5-1
3 - Goofs won 6-3

4 - Warpigs won 8-0 - Trevor Cahill with the shutout.
5 - Warpigs won 4-3
6 - Warpigs won 9-3

7 - Goofs won 9-3
8 - Goofs won 6-5 - Torii Hunter hit a 2-out grand slam in the bottom of the 9th off of Rafael Soriano.
9 - Warpigs won 2-0 - Clayton Richard got the shutout. The two teams combined for 16 hits - all singles.
10 - Warpigs won 4-3 (12 innings) - Donnie Murphy singled in Jamie Carroll in the 12th. This is game 153 for us this season, and this was the first single by Murphy.

11 - Goofs won 7-2
12 - Warpigs won 4-3
13 - Goofs won 4-3 - The best part of this game was a plate appearance by Brandon Phillips. Fed up with him constantly getting hits, I shouted out, "Hit this guy!" when he came up late in the game. The Goofs hit the enter button, and... HBP. We both just stared at the screen for a couple of seconds before we both said, "Wow" at the same time.
14 - Goofs won 2-1 - Chris Volstad outduels Cliff Lee.

Buckeyes vs Warpigs

Warpigs 6, Buckeyes 4

@Buckeye Dome
1 - Warpigs won 6-1 - Albert Pujols hits two homers and drives in four. Trevor Cahill gets the win.

2 - Buckeyes won 4-3 - John Buck hit a bases loaded single in the bottom of the 9th to break the 3-3 tie.

3 - Warpigs won 2-1 - Cliff Lee and five relievers scattered 10 hits. The Buckeyes left 12 men on base.

4 - Buckeyes won 8-7 - Casper Wells had 3 hits and 4 rbi. Pujols had 4 hits for the Pigs.

5 - Buckeyes won 3-1 - Derek Lowe and the bullpen shut down the Pig offense. Chipper Jones hit a 3-run homer.

@Buckeye Dome
6 - Warpigs won 3-1 - Cliff Lee allows only 1 hit in 6 innings for the win.

7 - Buckeyes won 7-4 - The Buckeyes score 4 in the 8th inning, 3 of them coming on a home run by Daric Barton.

8 - Warpigs won 5-4 (12 innings) - Pujols hit a walk-off homer in the 12th inning.

9 - Warpigs won 5-0 - The Pigs hit 3 homers and Cliff Lee shuts out the Buckeyes.

10 - Warpigs won 8-4 - Carlos Santana hit a double and a homer and drove in 4.

Thursday, August 11, 2011


The FFTs traded Michael Bourn, Josh Thole, and James McDonald to the Warpigs for Heath Bell, Anibal Sanchez, Marlon Byrd, Angel Pagan, and Ryan Sweeney.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Warpigs vs Wahoos

Pigs 2, Hoos 1

Gm 1 (at the BallPork) - Pigs win 12-9 - The Pigs started the game with 4 straight walks followed by a grand slam. After4 innings, the Pigs led 9-1. Then back came the Wahoos. They scored 5 in the 5th, then 3 more in the 8th to tie it. But the Pigs scored 3 of their own in the bottom of the 8th for the win. Jim Thome, who had 3 walks and a hit by pitch up to that point, homered to lead off the 8th. For the year, Thome has 106 walks in less than 250 at bats.

Gm 2 (at the Reservation) - Wahoos win 4-1 - Jeremy Guthrie calms the Pig bats.

Gm 3 (at the Reservation) - Warpigs win 12-0 - Cliff Lee and Leo Nunez combine for the shutout. Albert Pujols hit a grand slam.

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

A Tale of Two Little Leaguers

This article by Rick Reilly is a couple of years old, but it's a good one.

If you're looking for a way to kill Little League, you should call a woman named Jean Gonzalez of Staten Island, N.Y. I think she's found it.

A little more than five years ago her 12-year-old son, Martin, got a hit and the first-base coach waved him on to second. The problem was, Martin did not generally get many doubles. In fact, he'd never slid in a game before. So when he got to second, he slid clumsily, wrenching his knee, ripping his ACL and tearing his meniscus.

So what did his mom do?

She sued.

She sued the manager. She sued the first-base coach. She sued the local Little League. She sued Little League Baseball, Incorporated. She sued everybody but the kid who cuts the outfield.

She said the manager -- Leigh Bernstein -- hadn't taught Martin the proper way to slide. (The coach said he had.) She said the local Little League had the wrong kind of bases -- Soft Touch detachable bases. (But the bases were on Little League's approved list of bases. They detach when you hit them with too much force.) She said it was everybody's fault but Martin's.

And just over two weeks ago, she settled for $125,000.

If you're looking for a way to feel good in this whacked world, you should call the Millers of Fullerton, Calif. I think they've found it.

Pamela Miller and her husband, Rolf, are the parents of Dieter, 12. This year, Dieter, a catcher, played in the first scrimmage of the season. While trying to tag a runner at home, he broke his arm. He was out of action for all but the end of the season.

And what did his parents do?

This is just an opinion, but I think it would be wonderful if people like Jean Gonzalez and her attorney were tied to the next shuttle and fired into space.

Here's a coach who is volunteering his time to teach kids the dying game of baseball and what does he get for his trouble? A lawsuit hanging over his head for five years.

Here's the local Little League -- New Springville -- trying to do something fun for the kids, at zero profit and thousands of migraines, and what does it get for its efforts? A lawyer of its own and a tugboat of paperwork.

What if little Martin had been beaned? Would his mom have sued the kid who pitched it? The stitcher of the ball? Abner Doubleday?

I called Ms. Gonzalez but she never called back. I called her attorney, Alan Glassman, of Brooklyn. He had to put me on hold a lot. "Parents keep calling wanting me to represent their kid," he said.

Imagine that.

So what did the Millers do when Dieter was hurt? They spoke with his coach, Tony Mannara, and asked "Is there anything Dieter can do to stay close with the team?"

Mannara thought about it and answered, "Well, he could keep score."

So Dieter went to scorekeeper's school and learned how. He showed up an hour early for every game this year -- in uniform -- and kept score, kept the pitch count and cheered his cast off. Heck, he even came to practices.

"I'd like to have my own Little League team someday," he says.

As of press time, his parents had no plans to sue.

What is Little League supposed to do? It's already eliminated the on-deck circle for safety reasons. Maybe it should just eliminate the bases altogether? Hey, that was a pretty good hit. Ghost runner on second.

Coach Bernstein played Martin that day because Martin went out for the team. So what's the coach supposed to do, keep the kid on the bench all year? Ms. Gonzalez probably would've sued for that, too. Emotional cruelty, perhaps.

Anyway, it's finally over. Martin is 17 now and in high school. If you're his principal you better have F. Lee Bailey on retainer.

And what did the Miller family get for being cool? What did Dieter get for not sulking, quitting, or detaching like a pop-up base?

He won The Little League Good Sport Award.

He and his family will soon take an all-expenses-paid trip to Williamsport, Pa. for next week's Little League World Series, where he'll be honored as the kid who found a way to keep helping the team even though he couldn't step on the field.

"Big D is a stand-up young man," Coach Mannara says. "He's a fan favorite, a kid you'd never hear a bad word about. He embodies the true spirit of Little League."

No, it's not $125,000.

It's better.

Gimme a Donut with Extra Sugar

ROCKAWAY, N.J. — A 29-year-old woman working the night shift at Dunkin Donuts faces prostitution charges for allegedly taking breaks from selling donuts and coffee to provide sexual services in exchange for money.

Melissa Redmond, 29, of Mine Hill, was arrested after a six week investigation known as "extra sugar" that began when police got a tip that people could go to the Dunkin Donuts on Route 46 and arrange a liason with Redmond.

"I had gotten an anonymous tip," Detective Sgt. Kyle Schwarzmann, who led the investigation. "She was a night time employee (working 9 p.m. to 5 a.m.), supposedly a very good one."

Schwarzmann began gathering information and doing surveillance at the scene. He noticed on multiple evenings that she would go out to cars to see customers and would spend 10 or 15 minutes there, he said.

"Sometimes I'd even see money changing hands," Schwarzmann said, adding that sometimes the cars would stay in the parking lot and other times they would drive to another nearby location.

An undercover operation was developed wth the assistance of Officer Robert Koehler and Officer Scott Haigh acting as the undercover "John."

"He went in plain clothes through the drive-thru window," Schwarzmann said. "He spoke to her and she said if he wanted a good time to call her and she gave him her phone number."

Haigh parked in the parking lot and Redmond allegedly came out, approached him and gave him a specifc price list for her services.

Haigh returned on another occasion and inquired about her services, was offered a new, and lower, price so he said he needed to go to a bank machine but would return with the money.

When Haigh returned, they drove to the back of the building and the arrest was made. Redmond was then processed, served her complaint and released.

Dunkin Donuts employees declined to comment Monday morning.