Sunday, April 30, 2017

Buckeyes 7, Inmates 3

Buckeyes made the trip down to Waco for an afternoon of cards and dice action at the Baptist Bowl. Buckeyes go 7 and 3.


5/13 Buckeyes 2 Inmates 0 - Maeda and 3 relievers combine for a 4 hitter. Maeda will prove to be tough on the Inmates today.
5/14 Inmates 6 Buckeyes 2 - Santana gets rocked early. Buckeyes held to 2 2nd inning runs
6/24 Buckeyes 5 Inmates 3 - Young and Pearce both homer and then Turner gets a pinch hit homer in 8th for insurance.
6/25 Buckeyes 3 Inmates 1 - Santana and 2 relievers hold Inmates to 3 hits. 3 run Buckeye 6th was all our offense.
6/26 Inmates 5 Buckeyes 3 - Inmates get 2 in the 11th to break the 3-3 tie.
7/20 Buckeyes 8 Inmates 5 - Buckeyes get 2 in the ninth to tie it. Trumbo's 2 out shot send it to extra innings. Then Kinsler and Bour homer in 10th to blow it open.
7/21 Buckeyes 13 Inmates 6 - Buckeyes pound out 17 hits. 2 homers by Kinsler with one each from Reyes and Cabrera. Reyes hit his just after he hit one on tv versus the Nationals.
7/22 Buckeyes 7 Inmates 3 - Buckeyes hit 4 homers (Gattis, Santana, Granderson and a pinch hit homer from Reyes) Meada gets the win giving up only 3 unearned runs.
9/1 Inmates 9 Buckeyes 1 - Inmates catch Happ for 3 homers. Kinsler hot another one for the Buckeyes but not near enough.
9/2 Buckeyes 10 Inmates 9 - Buckeyes get down 9-2 going to 6th. We've started to pull guys to save AB's and IP's when suddenly with 2 out and nobody on 6 consecutive Buckeyes reach base including back to back homers from Kinsler and Granderson. Buckeyes then tie it on a Santana homer in the and then complete the comeback with a Turner single in 11th to score Kinsler for the walk off winner.


Buckeyes 7 – LDMF 3 . . . The Return of the LDMF

Buckeyes 2 – LDMF 0 (Baptist Bowl): Pitcher’s duel with both teams getting only four hits. Segura tripled to lead off the Inmate 4th, but was left stranded.

Inmates 6 – Buckeyes 2 (Baptist Bowl): Inmates come back and pound Santana to even the series.

Buckeyes 5 – Inmates 3 (Buckeye Dome): Inmates leave two on in the 8th, then Jones hits into a game-ending double-play in the 9th. Shitfuck.

Buckeyes 3 – LDMF 1 (Buckeye Dome): Only three fucking hits? We deserve to lose.

Inmates 5 – Buckeyes 3 (11 innings – Buckeye Dome): Jones hit a 2-run blast in the 11th for just about the last Inmate heroics of the afternoon.

Buckeyes 8 – LDMF 5 (10 innings - Bite Me Bowl): Inmates hit five solo homers and not much else. Johnson comes on to save the game in the 9th, feels sorry for the visiting Shriveled Testicle Gang, and allows a game-tying homer that still hasn’t landed. The Dickless Wonders then load the bases in the bottom of the 9th only to make the first move at snatching defeat out of the jaws of victory by stranding everyone. Barraclough then allowed two homers in the 10th (which doubled his MLB total) to ice the game for the bad guys.

Buckeyes 13 – NDMF 6 (Go Suck a Fart Bowl): The Buckeyes crawl up Quintana’s ass for five runs in the 1st, putting the NDMF behind by damn near a TD before getting to hit. Never fear! The bats (?!?) come alive in the 5th when someone decided that 11-0 sucked too much even for the Androgynous Ones.

Buckeyes 7 – ND/NBMF 3 (Fuck Me Running Bowl): A Buckeye four-spot in the 1st put the &^%#$&#$^ behind again. The suckfest continued.

Inmates 9 – Buckeyes 4 (Buckeye Dome): This time the Inmates really show up and do unto the Buckeyes what had been done unto them. Unfuckshit.

Buckeyes 10 – Pantywastes 9 (11 innings – Blow Me Dome): Leading 9-2, Barraclough once again entered the game and once again gave up a pair of homers to start the shitfest. Even though the Buckeyes had tied the game at 9, the NDMF managed to get two on in the 9th only to once again snatch defeat out of the ass of victory by leaving both stranded. Some nameless motherfucker hit a game-ending single off of Madson’s first pitch in relief in the 11th. Sigh…..

Of note: Only one base was stolen by the combined two teams in the series.


Bitch of the day: Barraclough, who allowed one homer in 73 innings during the 2016 MLB season (and doesn’t have any kind of HR on his card) has now allowed 7 in 18 IP for the Inmates.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

DVs 5, Tweeners 2

DVs lose 2 of 3 at home, then rip out 2 wins in the HooverDome and 2 at Viagra Park – we are saving the last 3 games for a later date.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Inmates 5, Fungoes 2

Cards and dice at WTF:

Cespedes 2 – Fungoes 0 (WTF): Manaea and Price in a classic pitcher’s duel. All of the offense came on a pair of Cespedes solo homers.

Inmates 6 – Fungoes 5 (WTF): The Fungi hung a four-spot on Gray in the 2nd, then added another run in the 4th to take a 5-0 lead. The Inmates finally woke up (a little) in the 5th when Cespedes hit another solo tater. A three-run 9th, highlighted by a two-run homer by Jones, cheesed the game from the Fungoes.

Inmates 4 – Fungoes 3 (WTF – DH game 1): Once again the Inmates played the come-back card to steal another game, scoring the final run in the 8th on an RBI triple by Nunez.

Fungoes 5 – Inmates 3 (WTF – DH game 2): The Fungoes took a tip from the Inmate Book of Cheese to finally get in the W column for the series. Nursing a 3-1 lead in the 6th, the Inmate Self-Immolation Squad came on the blow the game (and themselves). The Inmates loaded the bases in the 9th with only one out, but Harris then shut things down to preserve the win.

Inmates 10 – Fungoes 0 (Baptist Bowl): Gray and Wood combine on a three-hit shutout while five Inmates homered to totally obliterate the Fungi.

Fungoes 9 – Inmates 8 (Baptist Bowl – 11 innings): A great see-saw match. The Fungoes jump out to a 2-0 lead off of Quintana in the 4th, only to see the Inmates claw back to take a 6-2 lead by the end of seven. Once again, the Beakless Chicken Gang’s Self-Immolation Squad made an appearance, allowing two in the 8th and four more in the 9th to give the Fungi the lead, 8-6. On came Harris to save the game, only to have Valbuena and Rizzo both hit solo cranks to push the game into extra innings. The Fungoes scored the winning run in the 11th, but the Inmates made things interesting when they loaded the bases in the bottom of the inning and left all runners stranded.

Inmates 8 – Fungoes 6 (Baptist Bowl): In a repeat of the style of the last game, the Fungoes jumped out to a 4-1 lead after 6. Altuve jacked a three-run homer for the Inmates in the 7th to tie the score, but the Fungi scored once in both the 8th and 9th to lead 6-4 as the Inmates came up for their last AB. Valbuena led off with a double, followed by a Jones homer to tie the game. Ramos then singled, and Altuve hit his second tater of the game to end it in walk-off fashion.

The HEAD INMATE

First Trade of the Season

The Warpigs send their 2018 5th and 7th round picks to the Nads for a reserve pick.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Rhinos 2, Goofs 1

Rhinos took 2 out of 3 versus Goofs during the Mavfest Saturday.

Sunday, April 16, 2017

I Don't Know (Third Base!)


Tweeners 2, Skyscrapers 1

CM games at The Hooverdome.
6/18 – Scrapers 5, Tweeners 1.  As this one progressed it seemed that a no-hitter was inevitable. Through 8 innings Hamel had faced the minimum, allowing only one baserunner (via HBP) immediately followed by a GBA.  Jose Iglesias broke it up with a 9th inning double, and Reynolds drove him in to avoid the shutout.  Hamels finished the 2-hitter with no walks and 11 Ks.  Rendon homered, Bumgarner took the loss.
6/19 – Tweeners 4, Scrapers 2.  Kuma allowed only 3 hits over 8 innings, Treinen pitched a perfect 9th for the save.  Kevin Gausman served up homers to Arenado and Cozart, and Stephen Vogt legged out a Little League homer via Jose Bautista (X).
6/20 – Tweeners 9, Scrapers 3.  Greinke allows 5 earned and can’t make it through the first inning. Villar and Zobrist both homer twice to back Robbie Ray.

Fungoes 9, Mavs 1

Fungoes vs Mavs

May 13 at WTF: Fungoes win this one 3-0 behind a strong outing by David Price.  Will Harris gets the save and Odorizzi takes the loss for the Mavman.  Sal Perez hits his 4th dinger of the season for the Fungoes.

May 14 at WTF: Fungoes score early and run up a 6-1 lead through 4 innings.  Fungoes win it 7-2 behind a strong Dan Straily performance.  Hammel takes the loss.  Harper homers for the Mavs while Betts cranks one for the Fungoes.

June 24 at Mavland: Fungoes streak out to a 7-0 lead and take a 7-3 lead into the bottom of the ninth.  However, at just that moment, The Mav bats awaken and tally 6 runs to walk it off 9-7 on a 2-out GRAND SLAM HOMERUN off the bat of Tommy Joseph.  Robles picked up the win in relief while Will Harris SUFFERED the loss!! 

June 25 at Mavland: This time it is the Mavs with a big lead early 5-2 until the Fungoes score 2 in the 7th and 2 more in the 8th and hold on to win it 6-5.  Santiago improves to 3-0 while Harris picks up his 9th save.  Rodriguez takes the loss in relief for the Mavs.  Murphy, Odor, McCann, Harper and Gyorko all homer.

June 26 at Mavland: Fungoes score 4 in the first but the Mavs tie it up 4-4 with a 2 spot in the fourth inning.  Fungoes score 2 in the 6th and 2 more in the 7th and hold on to win it 9-5.  Lance McCullers evens his record at 2-2 while Hellickson takes the loss.  Harris gets the save.  Homerun derby continues with Murphy smashing 2 while Betts, Hosmer, Harper and Davis all hit 1 each.

July 20 at WTF: Mavs take a rare lead in the top of the second scoring 1 run.  Fungoes tie it up in the fourth and walk it off with a 2 run Francisco Lindor homerun!  Strickland takes the loss in relief while Robertson picks up the win for the Fungoes,

July 21 at WTF: All Fungoes as they win it 7-0.  Lance McCullers improves to 3-2 and combines with Carlos Torres for the shutout.  Hammel takes the loss for the Mavs.

July 22 at WTF: Another Fungo shutout as Kershaw weaves magic and improves to 7-1 on the season.  O’Day finishes up the last 2 innings for the combined shutout for the Fungoes.  Hellickson takes the loss.  Fungoes win 6-0.

September 01 at Mavland: Fungoes score in 6 different innings and win it 6-3.  David Price gets the win and improves to 4-3 on the season.  Hammel takes the loss and Will Harris notches save number 11.  Odor, Sal Perez, McCann, Harper and Gyorko all homer.

September 02 at Mavland: Mike Trout homered and had 2 RBI as the red-hot Waxahachie Fungoes defeated the floundering Midlothian Mavs in 11 innings by the score of 5 to 2 at Juan Gonzalez Field. The score was knotted at 2 after nine innings.  Finally, Waxahachie pulled the game out in the 11th inning.  Carlos Beltran led off and started the attack as he drew a walk.  Two outs later Francisco Lindor came to bat and laced a single.  Matt Carpenter then doubled scoring two baserunners.  Trout came up and he laced a base-hit scoring the final run of the inning.  Waxahachie finished with 13 hits while Midlothian ended up with 8. 
The win went to Carlos Torres (2-2) who allowed no runs in 2 innings. Torres
was helped out by Will Harris who recorded his 12th save.  Hansel Robles
took the loss in relief.



Warpigs 4, FFTs 3

Cards and Dice

All games played at the BallPork.

April 13 - Warpigs 4, FFTs 0 - Adam Wainwright was the star, tossing a complete game shutout. Waino scattered 6 hits and used 3 double play grounders to escape a couple of jams. Jeff Samardzija took the loss for the FFTs. The low-scoring first game would be a sign of things to come.

April 14 - Warpigs 4, FFTs 3 - Oddly enough, Adam Wainwright took center stage in back-to-back games. The Pigs entered the bottom of the 8th trailing 3-1, but 3 consecutive walks started the inning. Logan Forsythe then stepped in and grounded into a DP, closing the score to 3-2 with the tying run at 3rd. Then things got strange... Jake Lamb was called on to pinch hit for Yasmany Tomas, which in turn prompted the FFTs to bring in Danny Duffy. The Pigs were almost out of options. Almost. Lamb was called back for a pinch hitter for the pinch hitter: Adam Wainwright. Waino rolls 2-3... gone! His second homer of the year! Raisel Iglesias has an easy 9th and the Pigs win 4-3.

April 15 - FFTs 3, Warpigs 2 - Miguel Cabrera and Adrian Beltre hit solo homers in the 2nd inning - the first earned runs scored by the FFTs against the Pig starters. Tomas tied it up in the 6th with a 2-run shot off of Drew Pomeranz, but Joc Pederson doubled in Nelson Cruz in the 7th for the deciding run. Wainwright tried to be the hero again, pinch hitting with the bases loaded in the 8th inning, but he went down on strikes.

September 14 - FFTs 5, Warpigs 2 - In game 1 of a double header, Robinson Cano went 3-5 with a homer and a double. He drove in 3. Troy Tulowitzki also had 3 hits. Tomas hit another 2-run homer for the Pig runs. Drew Pomeranz went 5.2 innings for the win. Wainwright took the loss.

September 14 - FFTs 2, Warpigs 0 - To be fair, this was the second game of a double header, and the BallPork has no lights. The players raced against the oncoming darkness, and the results were predictable. Mike Leake allowed only 4 hits while striking out 11. At one point, he had a string of 7 consecutive K's. Carlos Rodon, who has no business in organized ball, also took advantage of the gloamin'. The first 2 batters he faced got hits and scored (the light was still good at that point), but Rodon dominated the rest of the way, striking out 11 in 8 innings. With Iglesias whiffing 2 in his 1 inning, it meant there were 24 total strikeouts. Only 4 players in the starting lineups did NOT strike out, and one of those was Chris Carter. Now, that's funny.

September 15 - Warpigs 4, FFTs 1 - The suddenly free-swinging Pigs struck out another 13 times this game against Rich Hill and friends, but Anthony Desclafani was masterful, allowing only an unearned run over his 7 innings. Hunter Pence homered early, and Logan Forstythe hit a 2-run shot late in the win. Alex Wilson went the final 2 innings for his 3rd save of the year.

September 16 - Warpigs 4, FFTs 3 - Is it possible for a 4-3 game to be a blowout? Can a team coast to a 4-3 win? Before this game, I would have said no. Samardzija was sent to the showers early. He faced only 7 batters, but gave up the cycle. Last seen, Smarj, Sam Dyson, and Jake Diekman were alone in the clubhouse performing a circle jerk. Ender Inciarte went 2-3 with 2 doubles, and Jake Lamb homered. Logan Forsythe set a Warpig team record, getting hit by a pitch in 3 consecutive plate appearances. Archie Bradley got his 2nd win of the year; Iglesias earned the save.

Fungoes 7, SuperGoofs 3

Fungoes vs Goofs.

April 24 at Goofs:
Kershaw vs Tanaka and it's all Goofs in this one as they hand Kershaw his first loss of the season, 3-0.  Uehara picks up the save for Tanaka.  Sandy Leon goes "Yard" for the Goofs.

April 25 at Goofs:
DeGrom defeats McCullers as the Goofs win game two 8-3.  Kang Homers and drives in 4 for the SGs!  Fungoes can’t get out of town fast enough!

June 6 at WTF:
Goofs out to an early lead but Fungoes tie it up in the bottom of the 8th on a 3-run blast off the bat of Eric Hosmer.  Hos seemed a little pissed when reminded that the Goofs had weren’t interested in trading for him!  Fungoes walk it off 7-6, on a Matt Carpenter bases loaded single in the 9th.  Tanaka gets the loss while O’Day picks up the win in relief.

June 7 at WTF:
Tied at 3 after 6 innings the Fungoes break it open with a 5 spot in the 7th running away with the 10-5 victory.  Wright takes the loss while Daniel Robertson picks up the win in relief for the Fungi.  Hosmer continues to show his displeasure of the Goofs and smashes a 2-run HR.

June 8 at WTF:
Kershaw vs Darvish.  A pitcher’s duel into the 5th where the Fungoes pick up 2 and win this one 3-0.  Will Harris grabs the save while Napoli goes deep for the Fungoes.  Both teams held to just 6 hits.

July 6 at Goofs:
Tanaka vs Musgrove turns into an epic pitcher’s duel.  Musgrove matches Tanaka through 6 2/3 innings then the Fungoes bullpen combines to match Tanaka the rest of the way.  This one is still 0-0 into the 13th inning.  Dyson smashes a 1-out triple and then Francisco Lindor lays down a perfect suicide squeeze to put the Fungi on top 1-0.  Will Harris throws a perfect bottom half of the inning to pick up the save and hand O’Day a win in relief.  Rusin takes the loss for the Goofs. 

July 7 at Goofs: 
Goofs break out on top with a run in the first.  4 more in the fifth as Kang continues to beat up on Fungo pitching.  Goofs hang on to win this one 6-3.  Straily takes the loss for the Fungoes dropping his record to 2-4.



July 8 at Goofs:
Fungoes break out on top scoring in the 2nd inning.  Goofs take the lead and build on it stretching it out to 5-1 with scoring 2 in the 5th inning.  Fungoes score 4 in the 6th to tie it up.  Goofs add 1 run in the bottom half of the 6th and 1 more in the 7th to ease out to a 7-5 lead.  Fungoes blow it up in the 8th scoring 5 to go up 10-7.  That’s the final score as Roark takes the loss and Torres picks up the win in relief for the Fungoes.

August 14 at WTF:
Fungoes score early and often and Hosmer continues to blast the Goof pitching with 4 hits, 5 RBIs and a HR on the night!  Santiago picks up the win for the Fungoes while Wright takes the complete game loss for the Goofs.  Fungoes win it 8-2.

August 15 at WTF:
DeGrom vs Kershaw turns into a well pitched game with the Fungoes winning it 2-0.  Kershaw improves to 6-1 on the season while Degrom takes the loss for the Goofs.  Sal Perez and Daniel Murphy pick up the RBIs for the Fungoes.  Kershaw holds the Goofs to 4 hits.

Buckeyes 11, Drillers 3

Buckeyes take 11 of 14.

4/16 Buckeyes 3 Drillers 2 (11 innings)
4/17 Buckeyes 4 Drillers 2
4/17 Buckeyes 11 Drillers 5
4/19 Drillers 6 Buckeyes 5 (15 innings)
4/20 Drillers 8 Buckeyes2

5/30 Buckeyes 5 Drillers 3
5/31 Buckeyes 8 Drillers 5
6/1 Buckeyes 12 Drillers 2

8/7 Buckeyes 8 Drillers 6
8/8 Buckeyes 9 Drillers 4
8/9 Buckeyes 13 Drillers 3

9/18 Buckeyes 10 Drillers 7 (13 innings)
9/19 Drillers 7 Buckeyes 6 (14 Innings) 

Inmates 6, Wahoos 4

Inmates 3 – Wahoos 2 (WahooLand): A pitching duel between Quintana and Verlander. The ‘hoos scored a pair in the 8th on a 2-run tater, but time ran out before they could come all the way back.

Wahoos 5 – Inmates 3 (WahooLand): Another tight game featuring the arms of Gray and the Ghost of Fernandez. A walk-off homer in the bottom of the 9th sinks the LDMF.

Wahoos 11 – Inmates 8 (WahooLand): Five Inmate homers put the Beakless Chicken Gang on top 8-1 after 3 ½ innings, but the incendiary pitching staff allowed ten unanswered runs to the Wahoos to snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory. Shitfuck.

Wahoos 9 – Inmates 2 (WahooLand): Pineda pitching in a BP HR/S 1-20 ballpark brought out all of the expected spoogeness. Pitching a complete game, he allowed 14 hits and 6 walks in an attempt to give the bullpen a little rest. Segura and Nunez homer for the LDMF to avoid the ignominy of being shut out.

Inmates 7 – Wahoos 2 (WahooLand): A five-run Inmate 5th, highlighted by a Rizzo three-run homer, was all Salazar needed for the win (despite giving up a pair of solo HRs).

Inmates 4 – Wahoos 3 (10 innings – Baptist Bowl): A three-run Altuve homer in the 3rd was the end of all scoring until Rizzo hit a walk-off single scoring Altuve in the Inmate 10th.

Wahoos 9 – LDMF 0 (Baptist Bowl): The Inmates manage all of five hits off the Ghost of Fernandez, while the Wahoos scalp Quintana for eight runs (three homers) in 6 1/3. Fuckshit.

Inmates 5 – Wahoos 4 (17 innings – Baptist Bowl): Bizarre game that turned the tide of the day’s series. Inmate pitchers walked thirteen, but the Wahoos countered by hitting into five double-plays. Bonehead play of the game: Cespedes hit a two-out double in the bottom of the 16th, only to be tagged out on a hidden-ball trick. A two-out double by Segura scored Santana with the game winner an inning later.

Inmates 2 – Wahoos 1 (Baptist Bowl): A pitcher’s duel between Quintana and Arrieta, with another weird happening: Brandon Crawford made both a one-base and a two-base error on the 7th, yet the Inmates were unable to score.

Inmates 6 – Wahoos 3 (Baptist Bowl): A three-run 9th for the Wahoos was too little, too late. Cespedes, Rizzo, and Martinez hit jacks for the Inmates.

Note: 35 homers were hit in the 10-game series – 18 by the Wahoos, 17 by the Inmates. The Wahoos hit into fourteen double-plays.

The HEAD INMATE

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

FFTs 8, Tweeners 2

A new version of the Tweener Split.  We win the first and the last, you win those in between. Seems a lot more reasonable when it is just a 5 game set.  If we thought we had any chance of success this year, a couple of these losses would be tough to take.  As it is, we sleep well knowing we tried like hell, and still managed to improve draft position.

5/20 – Tweeners 7, FFTs 2.  Kuma within one out of a complete game.  Leake yanked after a 3-run first inning.  Homers by Springer, Dietrich, Reddick, and Cruz.  Hal’s scribe called it a “one-sided affair at The Grove.”

5/21 – FFTs 4, Tweeners 3.  A 9th inning 2-run HR by Vogt give the Tweeners the lead, FFTs tie it in the bottom half.  14th inning hits by Miggy, Cruz, and Reddick off Mike Montgomery make a winner of Derek Law.

5/22 – FFTs 2, Tweeners 1.  Scoreless through 8, Cozart doubles in a 9th inning run off Law, but Treinen serves a 2-run bomb to Miggy, giving another W to Law.  George Brett was unhappy with his club's recent performance.  'We can't keep losing games’ he said. ‘It gets to be embarrassing after a while.’

7/2 – FFTs 5, Tweeners 2.  Change of venue to The Hooverdome, no change of outcome.  Felix is outpitched by former mate Gio.  S – Dyson.

7/3 – FFTs 2, Tweeners 1.  Tweeners get a 1st inning unearned run off Lackey and nothing more.  MadBum allows solo shots to Beltre and Molina.  W – Duffy, S – Dyson.  George Brett was in a sour mood after the game. ‘Even you guys up in the press box know why we lost this game. We made too many mistakes.’

7/28 – FFTs 7, Tweeners 4.  Back to The Grove, and more extra innings, thanks to a 3-run 9th inning Tweeners’ rally off Dyson.  A 3-run jack by Brandon Guyer in the 12th made a loser of Nova and another win for Duffy.

7/29 – FFTs 2, Tweeners 0.  A strong effort by Blake Snell is wasted as Hill, Duffy (W), and Dyson (S) combine to shut us out.

9/8 – FFTs 9, Tweeners 2.  Expanded rosters, home cooking, nothing matters.  Lackey over Kuma.

9/9 – FFTs 4, Tweeners 0.  Hill and friends combine again for the shutout for the ‘blistering-hot Dallas FFTs.’  Robbie Ray lowers his ERA to 6.53 and his record to 1-4.

9/10 – Tweeners 7, FFTs 5.  In a good matchup it was the Logan County Tweeners 7, the Dallas FFTs 5 at The Hoover Dome. Homers by Desmond, Cano, Cabrera, and Pederson were not enough as Logan County came through with the game-winning runs in the 8th inning scoring 3 runs.  Kevin Pillar led off and started the attack as he was hit by a pitch.  Ben Zobrist followed and he drew a walk.  George Springer then drew a walk to load the bases.  Melvin Upton Jr came up and he banged out a single driving in two more baserunners.  Nolan Arenado stepped into the box and drew a walk to load the bases.  Jose Iglesias added to the uprising and hit a sacrifice fly scoring the final run of the inning.  It was roller coaster of a game as the lead change hands 6 times.  Blake Treinen(2-1) allowed 1 run in 2 innings, and picked up the victory. The losing pitcher was Jake Diekman(0-3) in relief.  George Brett was just happy to get a win, 'We've had such a bad streak of games -- boy, it's great to get the monkey off our back.  Now maybe we can relax a little and play the kind of baseball of which we are capable.

Hardly a comforting thought.


Saturday, April 08, 2017

Sunday, April 02, 2017

Mavs 1, Goofs 1

The Goofs come to Midlothian to play the 1st annual Mavs Demerit Doubleheader.  The crack Mav marketing department noted that receipts would be better if the doubleheader were played over two days hence game one will be 6/21 and game two on 6/22.  These are just alternate facts so deal with them.
 
6/21 Tanner Roark vs. Carlos Martinez square off on Russian Hacker appreciation night.  Free Donald Trump bobbleheads looking the other way for the first fifteen thousand sober fans.  Chances are some will be available in game two.  The Mavs pop two ballpark taters in the first inning soaking poor Bernice Brewer.  A beleaguered Bernice Brewer heads down the slide in the bottom of the second on a 3-6 straight out homer by Gyorko.  Miller follows with a double and Lucroy a triple as the Mavs try to hit for the cycle in the inning.  An error by 1e16 Hechavarria sets up a bases loaded no out situation for JFB who promptly grounds into two.  Nonetheless the Mavs are up 6-0 and vodka sales are soaring.  And that was pretty much that.  The Mavs managed to hit into a bunch of double plays and the Goofs down by six runs in a home run park tried to hit and run three times.  Gee thanks Hal.  Mavs 6-0.  The Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game was Carlos “Tsunami” Martinez who scattered five singles and two walks across 6 2/3 scoreless innings.
 
6/22 Game two of the two day doubleheader.  Yu Darvish vs. the other Carlos – Cookie Carrasco.  Throwing out the first pitch is the mayor of Midlothian one Elmore King.  There was a slight delay getting the game started as the seating of the mayor got a little confusing because invited both his wife and his girlfriend.  The fire chief settled it by drawing the attention of the mayor’s girlfriend Amber Wine – who can resist a man in uniform, right Fungoes?  The Goofs up 1-0 on a hit and run double – Hal knows best.  Bottom of the third and JFBradley is up with a runner on third.  Happened three times in the first game and he hit into a double play, struck out and flew out.  Oh look another strikeout.  The F doesn’t stand for “fun”.  The Goofs tack on a run, the Mavs strike out more (9 through 4 innings).  Now we are up to twelve in six innings and the Mavs are well into a shaky pen.  Hal brings in Benoit with the Goofs up 5-0 ending Darvish’s chances at 18 K’s.  Benoit gives up two homers but the Goofs hang on 5-3.  The Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game goes to Yu Darvish.  7 IP 3H 1 Walk 12K’s.