The Goofs come to Midlothian to play the 1st annual Mavs Demerit Doubleheader. The crack Mav marketing department noted that receipts would be better if the doubleheader were played over two days hence game one will be 6/21 and game two on 6/22. These are just alternate facts so deal with them.
6/21 Tanner Roark vs. Carlos Martinez square off on Russian Hacker appreciation night. Free Donald Trump bobbleheads looking the other way for the first fifteen thousand sober fans. Chances are some will be available in game two. The Mavs pop two ballpark taters in the first inning soaking poor Bernice Brewer. A beleaguered Bernice Brewer heads down the slide in the bottom of the second on a 3-6 straight out homer by Gyorko. Miller follows with a double and Lucroy a triple as the Mavs try to hit for the cycle in the inning. An error by 1e16 Hechavarria sets up a bases loaded no out situation for JFB who promptly grounds into two. Nonetheless the Mavs are up 6-0 and vodka sales are soaring. And that was pretty much that. The Mavs managed to hit into a bunch of double plays and the Goofs down by six runs in a home run park tried to hit and run three times. Gee thanks Hal. Mavs 6-0. The Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game was Carlos “Tsunami” Martinez who scattered five singles and two walks across 6 2/3 scoreless innings.
6/22 Game two of the two day doubleheader. Yu Darvish vs. the other Carlos – Cookie Carrasco. Throwing out the first pitch is the mayor of Midlothian one Elmore King. There was a slight delay getting the game started as the seating of the mayor got a little confusing because invited both his wife and his girlfriend. The fire chief settled it by drawing the attention of the mayor’s girlfriend Amber Wine – who can resist a man in uniform, right Fungoes? The Goofs up 1-0 on a hit and run double – Hal knows best. Bottom of the third and JFBradley is up with a runner on third. Happened three times in the first game and he hit into a double play, struck out and flew out. Oh look another strikeout. The F doesn’t stand for “fun”. The Goofs tack on a run, the Mavs strike out more (9 through 4 innings). Now we are up to twelve in six innings and the Mavs are well into a shaky pen. Hal brings in Benoit with the Goofs up 5-0 ending Darvish’s chances at 18 K’s. Benoit gives up two homers but the Goofs hang on 5-3. The Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game goes to Yu Darvish. 7 IP 3H 1 Walk 12K’s.