Sunday, May 21, 2017

Inmates 10, Rhinos 4

Inmates 4 – Rhinos 3 (Baptist Bowl): Syndergaard fanned 13 Inmates in seven innings, but a 3-run Inmate 1st put the Horned Wonders in a hole from the start. JDMart hit a two-run homer to lead the offense for the Inmates.
Inmates 6 – Rhinos 5 (Baptist Bowl): Another close game, with JDMart hitting a pair of taters, including the game-winner in the 8th. Madson lucked into the win; Bedrosian took the L.
Rhinos 9 – Inmates 5 (Baptist Bowl): The Rhinos out-slugged the Beakless Chicken Gang to hang on for the win. Story, Myers, and Gordon all homered for the bad guys.
Inmates 11 – Rhinos 1 (Rhino Preserve): Cole took it for the team, allowing 11 runs on 15 hits (including four taters) for the complete game loss. Zach Davies allowed a solo jack to Kemp in the 9th to lose the shutout.
Inmates 1 – Rhinos 0 (Rhino Preserve): A classic pitching duel between Manaea and Nola. Rizzo scored the only run of the game in the 4th for the Inmates.
Inmates 7 – Rhinos 6 (Rhino Preserve): A not-particularly-well-played game won by the Beakless Chicken Gang only because time ran out before the Rhinos could score enough.
Inmates 4 Rhinos 1 (Rhino Preserve): The Rhino misery continued compliments of Cargo, who hit a pair of homers and accounted for all of the Inmate runs. Only seven hits were allowed by both teams for the entire game; both Gray and Sanchez pitched CGs.
Inmates 7 – Rhinos 5 (Rhino Preserve): Rhino luck continued to suck as errors by Story and Lemahieu allowed four unearned runs to score for the Inmates. Kemp homered in a losing cause.
Inmates 5 – Rhinos 1 (10 innings – Rhino Preserve): The Inmates won their sixth straight in the 10th, scoring four runs to slam the door on the Pointed Proboscis. JDMart homered again.
Rhinos 7 – Inmates 6 (Rhino Preserve): Rhinos win! Rhinos win! A five-run 8th shocked the Inmates, giving the Rhinos a 1-6 record at home vs the Inmates.
Rhinos 11 – Inmates 5 (Baptist Bowl): The first half of a double-header featured one of the weirdest pitching performances in NASOMA history. The Rhinos scored a ten-spot off of Salazar in the 2nd, who allowed only three hits in five innings while striking out eight. The biggest issue was he walked fifteen fucking batters. Told that he needed to throw strikes he accommodated by allowing Kemp to hit a homer that still hasn’t re-entered the atmosphere. All told, Salazar threw 262 pitches during his stint. Ugly.
Inmates 7 – Rhinos 5 (11 innings – Baptist Bowl): The nightcap of the DH took the teams into the early morning hours until Valbuena hit a two-run jack in the bottom of the 11th to ice the game for the good guys.
Rhinos 14 – Inmates 6 (Baptist Bowl): Nothing but ugly. Four Rhinos tatered, Votto doubled three times, and the Inmates are bludgeoned.

Inmates 3 – Rhinos 1 (Baptist Bowl): Superlative Inmate pitching sends the Rhinos back to the zoo with their tenth loss of the day.

Rhinos 7, Wahoos 3

Wahoos took one in the shorts in a Teamviewer series with the Rhinos. The Rhinos outhomered us 26-9 and outscored us 55-37. I guess it could have been worse. I guess.

First 5 at the Rhino Reserve.
Game 1 
Wahoos win 10 innings, 3-2. Syndergaard went 10.2 innings and took the loss
Game 2
Rhinos win 3-2. Wahoos finally scored a pair in the ninth, as that 3-0 lead seemed like 30-0. Story homered twice and drove in all 3.
Game 3
Rhinos win again, 3-2. This time a Kris Bryant homer off Dellin Betances in the bottom of the 10th.
Game 4
Wahoos win 8-6 on the strength of a 4-run rally in the ninth.
Game 5
Rhinos win 11-6 behind 5 homers. Verlander and the bullpen all pooped the bed.

Next 5 at The Reservation
Game 6
Syndergaard and company prove too much in a 5-1 victory. Can't score at our own park. This looks rough.
Game 7
Estrada pitches great and the Wahoos hold on for a 5-2 win.
Game 8
Wahoos touch Syndergaard. Rhinos maul Verlander. Rhinos win, 9-6.
Game 9
Jose Fernandez pitches like a dead guy. Rhinos run off with a 9-2 win.
Game 10
Reyes and Devenski too tough for a lagging Wahoos offense. Rhinos win, 5-2.

Tuesday, May 09, 2017

Sidewinders 3, DVs 2

Sidewinders ride a 1.80 ERA and outscored them 22-11 to take 3 of 5 vs. the DiamondVision via Team Viewer (which seemed to have some issues – FYI)

Skyscrapers 3, DVs 2

Plenty of offense in this 5 game series (the last game had 6 total runs- the rest were 10 or more) – and the Skyscrapers had enough pitching to take 3 of 5 at the DVs.

Demerit Update

The Killer Bees and Sidewinders were the only ones falling short of 40 games played by May 7th. These were the first two demerits earned this year. Way to go, Mullen brothers! Leading the way!

Posting Comments

Two recent spam comments have been posted to Big Innings. I deleted them and have now changed the settings for comments so that it has to be approved by me before being posted. I had used this setting before, but had taken it off hoping it would spur more dialogue by you guys. It didn't. And assuming y'all weren't interested in buying online furniture from Singapore, I have shut that down.

A better option might be to limit comments to only members of this blog. I'll check that out.

Sunday, May 07, 2017

Mavs 6, Skyscrapers 1

The Skyscrapers roll in to the wide open spaces of Midlothian to play seven games in the Rastadome vs. the Mavs. 
 
May 30th:  Grienke vs. Hellickson – and as if it could get any worse the Mavs have to rest Harper, Gyorko and Castellanos due to at bat problems thank goodness it is Tequila Body Shot Night sponsored by Betty’s Brothel or no one would be at the game.  It is 4-0 after three as once again Carlos Correa let two base hits go through and the Skyscrapers hit two taters.  The Mavs battle back to tie it after Chris Davis’s second two out RBI double in the bottom of the fifth and suddenly fans are paying attention at the body bar.  Paul Goldschmidt hits a triple 1 with no one out to lead off the eighth.  Grounder to first.  Intentional walk to Kipnis because Givens is abysmal against lefties.  Oh good, he walks the next righty.  Bases loaded, one out.  2-6 K to Anthony Rendon.   Dickerson up the Mavs counter with K-Rod.  5-7 grounder to first and the Skyscrapers manager Joe Pepitone is seen heading to the body bar.  In his inebrieated state, Pepitone brings in Steve Cishek after Davis hits his third double of the game.  Cishek gives up a 6-5 single to Kolten Wong (because the Godless heathen is weak against righties).  Mavs win 5-4.  The Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game goes to Chris Davis who went 3-3 with 3 RBI’s and scored the winning run.

May31st: Cory Kluber vs.  Carlos Martinez.  Wow Harper and Gyorko are out of the lineup again although it appears that some of the Body Shot Girls from the night before may have more to do with this than rest.  Throwing out the first pitch is the 2015 Grumpy’s Bail Bonds “Bond Girl” – the 2015 calendar is still available by the way http://grumpysbailbonds.com/calendar.php.  Brad Miller hits a 3-6 three run homer in the bottom of the third sending Bernice Brewer down the slide.  Justin Upton hits a 3-10 ballpark tater sending her down the slide again in the bottom of the seventh.  Russell Martin hits a 1-11 ballpark tater in the top of the eighth.  Brad Miller wins the Betty’s Brothel Blow of the Game and six Mav pitchers combine to allow four hits.  5-1 Mavs.

June 1st:  Well-known neo-Nazi Max Scherzer vs. the beloved inventor of the Everclear Margarita Carlos Carrasco.  Today’s give away is clean urine samples from the good folks at NORML.  Scherzer has a no-hitter until the fifth.  Three singles and two walks later and the first run crosses home plate (credit Mavs incredible base running decisions for that math).  Correa hits a two star single to plate two more.  3-0 going to the sixth.  The Skyscrapers push home a run on a Kipnis ground out in the eighth but it is too little, too late.  The Mavs win 4-1 worsening their draft position.

August 11th:  Greinke wearing a tasteful Dior gown takes the mound against Hellickson sporting a chic Kate Spade ensemble in our annual Cross-Dresser game.  The Skyscrapers score first with a Rendon two run homer coming despite a broken heel in the top of the second.  Chris Davis sent Bernice Brewer down the slide (thankfully still dressed in her cutoffs and tank top) in the bottom of the second to cut the lead in half.  But Goldy launched a 5-5 homer 1-12 to get the run back in the top of the third.  Goldy blasts a two run homer on a 6-5 off Buchholz and the rout is on.  The Mavs take their purses and head home as the Skyscrapers win 6-1.  Goldy wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game going 2 for 4 with two homers and three RBI’s.

August 8th:  Kluber vs. Martinez in Occupy Wall Street Remembrance Day.  Anthony Rendon doubles home Jason Kipnis who was on via a 1-2 HBP for the first run in the top of the second.  A spontaneous protest tent camp has sprung up in left field which really can only help Dickerson and Upton (4 and 3 respectively).  The Mavs push home the tying run in the fourth with a walk, the second error of the series by Kipnis (he appears mesmerized by Bernice Brewer’s parabolic splendor), a passed ball by Martin and a grounder.  Chris Davis sends the ever ready Bernice Brewer down the slide with a 3-10 straight out homer in the bottom of the sixth, 2-1 Mavs.  Manny Machado strikes out with the bases loaded in the top of the seventh.  Via a pinch hit in the seventh the Skyscrapers are now playing an all 40 outfield.  Sure enough CF X leads to a run.  Followed by Davis sending Bernice back down the slide.  5-1 Mavs and more homers are hit later.  Mavs win 10-1.  Davis earns the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game hitting two homers and driving in three.

August 9th:  Scherzer vs. Cookie Carrasco.  Davis sends Bernice down the slide in the bottom of the second.  Apparently his gift from ARod arrived for this series.  Dickerson hits a 6-5 homer off Cookie with a man on in the fourth.  At this point I’d like to point out that Bautista after 4 X-chart tries has yet to give up a hit.  On the other hand Russell Martin has missed two ballpark taters (1-17 here).  Strange series.  With the Skyscrapers up 3-1 and Ryan Dull in Brad Miller leads off the ninth sending Bernice down the slide.  But Dull strikes out Gyorko.  But wait, Lucroy nails a 1-6 triple 1-4.  Who can run for him?  No one because the genius Mavs already used their back up catcher as a pinch hitter.  The Mavs pinch hit their last bench player, Tommy Joseph, who rolls a 3-7 double 1-9.  Since the Mavs are going to lose their DH anyway Carlos Martinez comes in to run for Joseph.  And now that the game is tied, Pepitone brings in Herrera.  Herrera strikes out Heyward (who doesn’t), Pepitone walks Correa to get to Bradley.  But Herrera walks Bradley.  Pepitone brings in Cishek to fan Castellanos.  Extra innings again.  Oh boy.  Bush shuts down the Scrapers in the top of the tenth.  Chris Davis walks.  Miller singles him to third.  And then Cishek sends the ball past Martin to the fence.  Mavs win 4-3.

August 10th:  Getaway game for the Skyscrapers and believe me they have the bus running.  Cole Hamels against Jake Odorizzi.  Jake has allowed 12 homers in 50 innings so far so it is souvenir baseball day in left field.  Manny Machado hits the first one in the third with a runner on.  Goldschmidt hits the next one with no one on in the fifth.  Triple and an error on a Bautista X (finally got that jerk) leads to the Mavs first run in the bottom of the fifth.  A Valencia walk and a Correa homer later and the game is tied.  Odorizzi gives up a lead off double and Mychael Givens gives up a run scoring single to Rendon.  Scrapers 4-3 after five and half.  Dickerson homered off Strickland to add an insurance run in the top of the eighth.  The Mavs, down two going to the bottom of the ninth, rally and tie it on a two out double by pinchhitter Nick Castellanos off of Ryan Dull.  Oh goody.  Extra innings.  Bush shuts down the Scrapers in the top of the tenth and Justin Upton rolls a 3-6 homer.  Mavs win 6-5 in ten.  Upton earns the Betty’s Brothel Blow of the Game with the game winning home run.

Buckeyes 4, Sidewinders 1

Games played at Stanley vs CM.

5/5 Cabrera drives in 4 and the Buckeyes win10-1. Asher with the win and Bauer with 3 IP save

5/6  Buckeyes score 5 runs off Miller in the 8th and 9th to win 6-3. Granderson with 3 run HR in 9th

7/17 Buckeyes win 3-1 behind 5 Buckeye doubles and Asher's 6 shutout innings. Bruce breaks up the shutout with a solo shot in the 9th

7/18 Sale beats Maeda 7-2

7/19 Buckeyes win 3-1 with the help of 7 shutout innings by Happ and the SSWs grounding into 5 double plays. Grandal solo shot in 9th breaks up the shutout.

Buckeyes 4, Sidewinders 1

Buckeyes take 4 of 5 at home versus Snakes.

6/16 Buckeyes 5 SSW 3 -  A Cabrera goes 4 for 4 and Steve Pearce drives in 3 with 3 hits including a homer. Blanton is unable to hold the lead for Lester. Schugel gets the win in relief.
6/17 Buckeyes 2 SSW 1 - Maeda and Cueto locked up in a pitching duel. Trumbo with a walkoff solo homer in 9th to break the 1-1 tie.

8/23 Buckeyes 8 SSW 6 - Buckeyes rock Moore for 5 runs over 3 2/3. Ninth inning 4 run rally by Snakes not enough. Kiermeir drives in 3 and Pearce collects 3 more hits.
8/24 Buckeyes 8 SSW 1 - Ramirez and Pearce both homer as Buckeyes touch Sale for 6 runs over 5 1/3.
8/25 SSW 7 Buckeyes 1 - Ls all the way with a complete game 2 hitter. Snakes bang out 4 home runs to salvage the final game.

Sidewinders 3, Skyscrapers 2

At SSWs vs CM.

6/4 NY 2-5 hitters get 12 hits in 19 ABs powering a 9-3 victory. Gausman get the win and Moore is the loser

6/5 Kipnis hits a 2 run HR off of Cody Allen in the10th for a 3-1 NY win

8/21 Saunders hits a solo shot off of Duke in the bottom of the 9th for 9-8 SSWs victory. Snakes get 9 runs on 4 hits(3 HR),10 walks and 2 HBP. 

8/22 #1 Sale beats Gausman 5-1, Miller with 2 inning save,Longoria 3 runHR

         #2  Cueto beats Greinke 6-2
      

Buckeyes 3, Skyscrapers 1

Buckeyes take 3 of 4 at home versus Skyscrapers

9/14 (1) - Buckeyes 10 Sky 9 - G Sanchez came off the bench with a pinch hit bases loaded walk off single for the 10-9 win. 9 home runs in the game with Machado hitting 2 and A.Cabrera hitting 3. Both Scherzer and Happ get roughed up.

9/14 (2) - Buckeyes 17 Sky 9 - Ervin Santana gets his 11th win as the Buckeyes slug 5 homers. Two homers by Gattis who drives in 7.

9/15 - Buckeyes 5 Sky 4 - Cabrera hits another homer and Trumbo drives in 2 to support Kenta Maeda.

9/16 - Sky 5 Buckeyes 2 - Scrapers salvage game 4 with 3 homers (Machado, Kipnis, and Rendon). Greinke pitches well for the win.

Saturday, May 06, 2017

Skyscrapers 3, Goofs 2

Scrapers take 3 of 5 at Goofs

5/5 Sky 6 Goofs 5
5/6 Goofs 4 Sky 3 (11 innings)

7/17 Sky 6 Goofs 1
7/18 Goofs 3 Sky 2
7/19 Sky 6 Goofs 3

Questions That Came Up Today

During the Pig/Wahoo series (played with cards and dice), a few questions arose.

1. The first came about simply because we have come to depend too much on Hal to tell us stuff, like what happens when a non-asterisk base stealer wants to steal 2b after failing to get his lead.

Dustin Pedroia was on first with Garrett Richards on the mound. Pedrioa's steal numbers are (13-6). Richards is a +9 hold, leaving the catcher's arm moot. Pedroia rolled for his lead (1-18), but didn't get it. We were then confused as to what his secondary number would be. Turns out, the battery combo doesn't change. In this case, it's still +5 (max); it just now applies to the second number (1-11).

Note: For the record, the FFTs and Tweeners responded with the correct ruling. The Snakes and Buckeyes got it wrong. Glad others were confused, too.

Another Note: The Chief decided not to go, instead just hitting a home run. The bastard.

2. Question 2 - and the reason I am writing this post - has to do with using pitchers to hit. There were three scenarios, I believe, that came up and left us curious.

Scenario A: Francisco Liriano is part of the PigPen, but he also is a capable hitter (#8NL). If Liriano pinch hits in the top of the 7th for the shortstop, can he then come in to pitch the bottom of the 7th. The new SS would go to the DH's spot, and the DH would be lost. Sounds, okay, right? Unusual, but legal. I think. And would it matter if the guy he pinch hit for was the DH?

Scenario B: What if Liriano starts the game as the DH? Can he, at some point, take the field as the pitcher? The DH would be lost, of course, but it's legal, right?

Scenario C: In a move I know is legal, Adam Wainwright (#7NR) was the starting pitcher, but we decided to let him hit for himself and eschew the DH. Again, not a normal move, but completely legal. (The things we do to try to get N-power hitters into the games at The Reservation.)

I bring this up because I tried to recreate these moves on the computer tonight - and NONE of them is possible. The only way a pitcher can hit AND pitch in the same game is to first lose the DH (which can't be done in the initial setup at the start of the game). And even then, the pitcher must either already BE pitching in the game, or he must come in after the DH is lost. If he has already hit - even though he's still in the lineup at the moment - there is no way to drag him to the pitcher spot.

By the way, I checked and Wainwright had 62 AB last year (so 68 possible ABs for the Pigs), and Liriano had 42 (46 total). We ARE keeping track.

Wahoos 6, Warpigs 1

Cards and dice at the Pigsty. The Wahoos vault back into 1st place in the BUD.

The first 5 games were played at SGP's Reservation. Who the hell schedules a 5-game series? Reminds me of college baseball with a game Friday night, a triple header on Saturday, and a game Sunday morning before getting on the bus to head back home.

April 16 - Wahoos win 5-4. The Wahoos, thanks mainly to the fact that Joe Ross sucks, scored 5 runs in the 1st inning before bagging up their bats. The Warpigs also only scored in one inning, with a 4-run 6th. Logan Forsythe missed a 1-12 grand slam on Tyler Thornburg's card that would have given the Pigs the lead. This was as close as the Pigs would get to a win until after the bus ride back home.

April 17 - Wahoos win 9-4. Jake Lamb had a double, a homer, and 2 walks. If I'm not mistaken, the next best Pig went 0-4 with 3 Ks. This could have been worse... the Wahoos hit into 6 double plays.

April 18 - Wahoos win 16-1. The Weekend at Bernies guy who was propped up on the mound struck out 18. The Hoos had 19 hits, 7 walks, and 1 hit batter. Pig pitchers will suffer fines in the Kangaroo Court for only hitting one batter. Oh, and we made 4 errors. No really, this is fun.

April 19 - Wahoos win 9-1. Such fun.

April 20 - Wahoos win 8-1. Such fucking fun.

The last two games took place in Hooterville at The BallPork. Thank God.

May 30 - Warpigs win 6-5. With the game tied 5-5, Hunter Pence hit a walkoff solo homer with 2 outs in the 9th inning. It was Pence's 2nd homer of the game. Pigs win! Pigs win!

May 31 - Wahoos win 5-2. The Warpigs had only 4 hits - all doubles. Some guy named Mike Foltynewicz pitched like Jake Arrieta, but it helps when the opposing team makes 25 of their 27 outs in the 5-column.

Friday, May 05, 2017

FFTs 1, Skyscrapers 1

At The Grove vs Skyscraper CM.

1-1 and another extra inning game.
We have now played 17 extra inning games in 118 games.

7/4 - Skyscrapers won 4-3 in 11 innings
7/5 - FFTs won 2-0

FFTs 4, Goofs 1

At The Grove vs the Goof CM.

6/24 FFTs won 4-0
6/25 FFTs won 6-4
6/26 FFTs won 5-4 in 16 innings

9/1 Goofs won 7-3
9/2 FFTs won 4-2

Thursday, May 04, 2017

DVs 5, Goofs 0

DiamondVision take all 5 versus the Goofs in Tulsa – 3 games were walk off wins as the Goofs bullpen could only play for a tie on the road.

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Buckeyes 7, Inmates 3

Buckeyes made the trip down to Waco for an afternoon of cards and dice action at the Baptist Bowl. Buckeyes go 7 and 3.


5/13 Buckeyes 2 Inmates 0 - Maeda and 3 relievers combine for a 4 hitter. Maeda will prove to be tough on the Inmates today.
5/14 Inmates 6 Buckeyes 2 - Santana gets rocked early. Buckeyes held to 2 2nd inning runs
6/24 Buckeyes 5 Inmates 3 - Young and Pearce both homer and then Turner gets a pinch hit homer in 8th for insurance.
6/25 Buckeyes 3 Inmates 1 - Santana and 2 relievers hold Inmates to 3 hits. 3 run Buckeye 6th was all our offense.
6/26 Inmates 5 Buckeyes 3 - Inmates get 2 in the 11th to break the 3-3 tie.
7/20 Buckeyes 8 Inmates 5 - Buckeyes get 2 in the ninth to tie it. Trumbo's 2 out shot send it to extra innings. Then Kinsler and Bour homer in 10th to blow it open.
7/21 Buckeyes 13 Inmates 6 - Buckeyes pound out 17 hits. 2 homers by Kinsler with one each from Reyes and Cabrera. Reyes hit his just after he hit one on tv versus the Nationals.
7/22 Buckeyes 7 Inmates 3 - Buckeyes hit 4 homers (Gattis, Santana, Granderson and a pinch hit homer from Reyes) Meada gets the win giving up only 3 unearned runs.
9/1 Inmates 9 Buckeyes 1 - Inmates catch Happ for 3 homers. Kinsler hot another one for the Buckeyes but not near enough.
9/2 Buckeyes 10 Inmates 9 - Buckeyes get down 9-2 going to 6th. We've started to pull guys to save AB's and IP's when suddenly with 2 out and nobody on 6 consecutive Buckeyes reach base including back to back homers from Kinsler and Granderson. Buckeyes then tie it on a Santana homer in the and then complete the comeback with a Turner single in 11th to score Kinsler for the walk off winner.


Buckeyes 7 – LDMF 3 . . . The Return of the LDMF

Buckeyes 2 – LDMF 0 (Baptist Bowl): Pitcher’s duel with both teams getting only four hits. Segura tripled to lead off the Inmate 4th, but was left stranded.

Inmates 6 – Buckeyes 2 (Baptist Bowl): Inmates come back and pound Santana to even the series.

Buckeyes 5 – Inmates 3 (Buckeye Dome): Inmates leave two on in the 8th, then Jones hits into a game-ending double-play in the 9th. Shitfuck.

Buckeyes 3 – LDMF 1 (Buckeye Dome): Only three fucking hits? We deserve to lose.

Inmates 5 – Buckeyes 3 (11 innings – Buckeye Dome): Jones hit a 2-run blast in the 11th for just about the last Inmate heroics of the afternoon.

Buckeyes 8 – LDMF 5 (10 innings - Bite Me Bowl): Inmates hit five solo homers and not much else. Johnson comes on to save the game in the 9th, feels sorry for the visiting Shriveled Testicle Gang, and allows a game-tying homer that still hasn’t landed. The Dickless Wonders then load the bases in the bottom of the 9th only to make the first move at snatching defeat out of the jaws of victory by stranding everyone. Barraclough then allowed two homers in the 10th (which doubled his MLB total) to ice the game for the bad guys.

Buckeyes 13 – NDMF 6 (Go Suck a Fart Bowl): The Buckeyes crawl up Quintana’s ass for five runs in the 1st, putting the NDMF behind by damn near a TD before getting to hit. Never fear! The bats (?!?) come alive in the 5th when someone decided that 11-0 sucked too much even for the Androgynous Ones.

Buckeyes 7 – ND/NBMF 3 (Fuck Me Running Bowl): A Buckeye four-spot in the 1st put the &^%#$&#$^ behind again. The suckfest continued.

Inmates 9 – Buckeyes 4 (Buckeye Dome): This time the Inmates really show up and do unto the Buckeyes what had been done unto them. Unfuckshit.

Buckeyes 10 – Pantywastes 9 (11 innings – Blow Me Dome): Leading 9-2, Barraclough once again entered the game and once again gave up a pair of homers to start the shitfest. Even though the Buckeyes had tied the game at 9, the NDMF managed to get two on in the 9th only to once again snatch defeat out of the ass of victory by leaving both stranded. Some nameless motherfucker hit a game-ending single off of Madson’s first pitch in relief in the 11th. Sigh…..

Of note: Only one base was stolen by the combined two teams in the series.


Bitch of the day: Barraclough, who allowed one homer in 73 innings during the 2016 MLB season (and doesn’t have any kind of HR on his card) has now allowed 7 in 18 IP for the Inmates.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

DVs 5, Tweeners 2

DVs lose 2 of 3 at home, then rip out 2 wins in the HooverDome and 2 at Viagra Park – we are saving the last 3 games for a later date.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Inmates 5, Fungoes 2

Cards and dice at WTF:

Cespedes 2 – Fungoes 0 (WTF): Manaea and Price in a classic pitcher’s duel. All of the offense came on a pair of Cespedes solo homers.

Inmates 6 – Fungoes 5 (WTF): The Fungi hung a four-spot on Gray in the 2nd, then added another run in the 4th to take a 5-0 lead. The Inmates finally woke up (a little) in the 5th when Cespedes hit another solo tater. A three-run 9th, highlighted by a two-run homer by Jones, cheesed the game from the Fungoes.

Inmates 4 – Fungoes 3 (WTF – DH game 1): Once again the Inmates played the come-back card to steal another game, scoring the final run in the 8th on an RBI triple by Nunez.

Fungoes 5 – Inmates 3 (WTF – DH game 2): The Fungoes took a tip from the Inmate Book of Cheese to finally get in the W column for the series. Nursing a 3-1 lead in the 6th, the Inmate Self-Immolation Squad came on the blow the game (and themselves). The Inmates loaded the bases in the 9th with only one out, but Harris then shut things down to preserve the win.

Inmates 10 – Fungoes 0 (Baptist Bowl): Gray and Wood combine on a three-hit shutout while five Inmates homered to totally obliterate the Fungi.

Fungoes 9 – Inmates 8 (Baptist Bowl – 11 innings): A great see-saw match. The Fungoes jump out to a 2-0 lead off of Quintana in the 4th, only to see the Inmates claw back to take a 6-2 lead by the end of seven. Once again, the Beakless Chicken Gang’s Self-Immolation Squad made an appearance, allowing two in the 8th and four more in the 9th to give the Fungi the lead, 8-6. On came Harris to save the game, only to have Valbuena and Rizzo both hit solo cranks to push the game into extra innings. The Fungoes scored the winning run in the 11th, but the Inmates made things interesting when they loaded the bases in the bottom of the inning and left all runners stranded.

Inmates 8 – Fungoes 6 (Baptist Bowl): In a repeat of the style of the last game, the Fungoes jumped out to a 4-1 lead after 6. Altuve jacked a three-run homer for the Inmates in the 7th to tie the score, but the Fungi scored once in both the 8th and 9th to lead 6-4 as the Inmates came up for their last AB. Valbuena led off with a double, followed by a Jones homer to tie the game. Ramos then singled, and Altuve hit his second tater of the game to end it in walk-off fashion.

The HEAD INMATE

First Trade of the Season

The Warpigs send their 2018 5th and 7th round picks to the Nads for a reserve pick.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Rhinos 2, Goofs 1

Rhinos took 2 out of 3 versus Goofs during the Mavfest Saturday.

Sunday, April 16, 2017

I Don't Know (Third Base!)


Tweeners 2, Skyscrapers 1

CM games at The Hooverdome.
6/18 – Scrapers 5, Tweeners 1.  As this one progressed it seemed that a no-hitter was inevitable. Through 8 innings Hamel had faced the minimum, allowing only one baserunner (via HBP) immediately followed by a GBA.  Jose Iglesias broke it up with a 9th inning double, and Reynolds drove him in to avoid the shutout.  Hamels finished the 2-hitter with no walks and 11 Ks.  Rendon homered, Bumgarner took the loss.
6/19 – Tweeners 4, Scrapers 2.  Kuma allowed only 3 hits over 8 innings, Treinen pitched a perfect 9th for the save.  Kevin Gausman served up homers to Arenado and Cozart, and Stephen Vogt legged out a Little League homer via Jose Bautista (X).
6/20 – Tweeners 9, Scrapers 3.  Greinke allows 5 earned and can’t make it through the first inning. Villar and Zobrist both homer twice to back Robbie Ray.

Fungoes 9, Mavs 1

Fungoes vs Mavs

May 13 at WTF: Fungoes win this one 3-0 behind a strong outing by David Price.  Will Harris gets the save and Odorizzi takes the loss for the Mavman.  Sal Perez hits his 4th dinger of the season for the Fungoes.

May 14 at WTF: Fungoes score early and run up a 6-1 lead through 4 innings.  Fungoes win it 7-2 behind a strong Dan Straily performance.  Hammel takes the loss.  Harper homers for the Mavs while Betts cranks one for the Fungoes.

June 24 at Mavland: Fungoes streak out to a 7-0 lead and take a 7-3 lead into the bottom of the ninth.  However, at just that moment, The Mav bats awaken and tally 6 runs to walk it off 9-7 on a 2-out GRAND SLAM HOMERUN off the bat of Tommy Joseph.  Robles picked up the win in relief while Will Harris SUFFERED the loss!! 

June 25 at Mavland: This time it is the Mavs with a big lead early 5-2 until the Fungoes score 2 in the 7th and 2 more in the 8th and hold on to win it 6-5.  Santiago improves to 3-0 while Harris picks up his 9th save.  Rodriguez takes the loss in relief for the Mavs.  Murphy, Odor, McCann, Harper and Gyorko all homer.

June 26 at Mavland: Fungoes score 4 in the first but the Mavs tie it up 4-4 with a 2 spot in the fourth inning.  Fungoes score 2 in the 6th and 2 more in the 7th and hold on to win it 9-5.  Lance McCullers evens his record at 2-2 while Hellickson takes the loss.  Harris gets the save.  Homerun derby continues with Murphy smashing 2 while Betts, Hosmer, Harper and Davis all hit 1 each.

July 20 at WTF: Mavs take a rare lead in the top of the second scoring 1 run.  Fungoes tie it up in the fourth and walk it off with a 2 run Francisco Lindor homerun!  Strickland takes the loss in relief while Robertson picks up the win for the Fungoes,

July 21 at WTF: All Fungoes as they win it 7-0.  Lance McCullers improves to 3-2 and combines with Carlos Torres for the shutout.  Hammel takes the loss for the Mavs.

July 22 at WTF: Another Fungo shutout as Kershaw weaves magic and improves to 7-1 on the season.  O’Day finishes up the last 2 innings for the combined shutout for the Fungoes.  Hellickson takes the loss.  Fungoes win 6-0.

September 01 at Mavland: Fungoes score in 6 different innings and win it 6-3.  David Price gets the win and improves to 4-3 on the season.  Hammel takes the loss and Will Harris notches save number 11.  Odor, Sal Perez, McCann, Harper and Gyorko all homer.

September 02 at Mavland: Mike Trout homered and had 2 RBI as the red-hot Waxahachie Fungoes defeated the floundering Midlothian Mavs in 11 innings by the score of 5 to 2 at Juan Gonzalez Field. The score was knotted at 2 after nine innings.  Finally, Waxahachie pulled the game out in the 11th inning.  Carlos Beltran led off and started the attack as he drew a walk.  Two outs later Francisco Lindor came to bat and laced a single.  Matt Carpenter then doubled scoring two baserunners.  Trout came up and he laced a base-hit scoring the final run of the inning.  Waxahachie finished with 13 hits while Midlothian ended up with 8. 
The win went to Carlos Torres (2-2) who allowed no runs in 2 innings. Torres
was helped out by Will Harris who recorded his 12th save.  Hansel Robles
took the loss in relief.



Warpigs 4, FFTs 3

Cards and Dice

All games played at the BallPork.

April 13 - Warpigs 4, FFTs 0 - Adam Wainwright was the star, tossing a complete game shutout. Waino scattered 6 hits and used 3 double play grounders to escape a couple of jams. Jeff Samardzija took the loss for the FFTs. The low-scoring first game would be a sign of things to come.

April 14 - Warpigs 4, FFTs 3 - Oddly enough, Adam Wainwright took center stage in back-to-back games. The Pigs entered the bottom of the 8th trailing 3-1, but 3 consecutive walks started the inning. Logan Forsythe then stepped in and grounded into a DP, closing the score to 3-2 with the tying run at 3rd. Then things got strange... Jake Lamb was called on to pinch hit for Yasmany Tomas, which in turn prompted the FFTs to bring in Danny Duffy. The Pigs were almost out of options. Almost. Lamb was called back for a pinch hitter for the pinch hitter: Adam Wainwright. Waino rolls 2-3... gone! His second homer of the year! Raisel Iglesias has an easy 9th and the Pigs win 4-3.

April 15 - FFTs 3, Warpigs 2 - Miguel Cabrera and Adrian Beltre hit solo homers in the 2nd inning - the first earned runs scored by the FFTs against the Pig starters. Tomas tied it up in the 6th with a 2-run shot off of Drew Pomeranz, but Joc Pederson doubled in Nelson Cruz in the 7th for the deciding run. Wainwright tried to be the hero again, pinch hitting with the bases loaded in the 8th inning, but he went down on strikes.

September 14 - FFTs 5, Warpigs 2 - In game 1 of a double header, Robinson Cano went 3-5 with a homer and a double. He drove in 3. Troy Tulowitzki also had 3 hits. Tomas hit another 2-run homer for the Pig runs. Drew Pomeranz went 5.2 innings for the win. Wainwright took the loss.

September 14 - FFTs 2, Warpigs 0 - To be fair, this was the second game of a double header, and the BallPork has no lights. The players raced against the oncoming darkness, and the results were predictable. Mike Leake allowed only 4 hits while striking out 11. At one point, he had a string of 7 consecutive K's. Carlos Rodon, who has no business in organized ball, also took advantage of the gloamin'. The first 2 batters he faced got hits and scored (the light was still good at that point), but Rodon dominated the rest of the way, striking out 11 in 8 innings. With Iglesias whiffing 2 in his 1 inning, it meant there were 24 total strikeouts. Only 4 players in the starting lineups did NOT strike out, and one of those was Chris Carter. Now, that's funny.

September 15 - Warpigs 4, FFTs 1 - The suddenly free-swinging Pigs struck out another 13 times this game against Rich Hill and friends, but Anthony Desclafani was masterful, allowing only an unearned run over his 7 innings. Hunter Pence homered early, and Logan Forstythe hit a 2-run shot late in the win. Alex Wilson went the final 2 innings for his 3rd save of the year.

September 16 - Warpigs 4, FFTs 3 - Is it possible for a 4-3 game to be a blowout? Can a team coast to a 4-3 win? Before this game, I would have said no. Samardzija was sent to the showers early. He faced only 7 batters, but gave up the cycle. Last seen, Smarj, Sam Dyson, and Jake Diekman were alone in the clubhouse performing a circle jerk. Ender Inciarte went 2-3 with 2 doubles, and Jake Lamb homered. Logan Forsythe set a Warpig team record, getting hit by a pitch in 3 consecutive plate appearances. Archie Bradley got his 2nd win of the year; Iglesias earned the save.

Fungoes 7, SuperGoofs 3

Fungoes vs Goofs.

April 24 at Goofs:
Kershaw vs Tanaka and it's all Goofs in this one as they hand Kershaw his first loss of the season, 3-0.  Uehara picks up the save for Tanaka.  Sandy Leon goes "Yard" for the Goofs.

April 25 at Goofs:
DeGrom defeats McCullers as the Goofs win game two 8-3.  Kang Homers and drives in 4 for the SGs!  Fungoes can’t get out of town fast enough!

June 6 at WTF:
Goofs out to an early lead but Fungoes tie it up in the bottom of the 8th on a 3-run blast off the bat of Eric Hosmer.  Hos seemed a little pissed when reminded that the Goofs had weren’t interested in trading for him!  Fungoes walk it off 7-6, on a Matt Carpenter bases loaded single in the 9th.  Tanaka gets the loss while O’Day picks up the win in relief.

June 7 at WTF:
Tied at 3 after 6 innings the Fungoes break it open with a 5 spot in the 7th running away with the 10-5 victory.  Wright takes the loss while Daniel Robertson picks up the win in relief for the Fungi.  Hosmer continues to show his displeasure of the Goofs and smashes a 2-run HR.

June 8 at WTF:
Kershaw vs Darvish.  A pitcher’s duel into the 5th where the Fungoes pick up 2 and win this one 3-0.  Will Harris grabs the save while Napoli goes deep for the Fungoes.  Both teams held to just 6 hits.

July 6 at Goofs:
Tanaka vs Musgrove turns into an epic pitcher’s duel.  Musgrove matches Tanaka through 6 2/3 innings then the Fungoes bullpen combines to match Tanaka the rest of the way.  This one is still 0-0 into the 13th inning.  Dyson smashes a 1-out triple and then Francisco Lindor lays down a perfect suicide squeeze to put the Fungi on top 1-0.  Will Harris throws a perfect bottom half of the inning to pick up the save and hand O’Day a win in relief.  Rusin takes the loss for the Goofs. 

July 7 at Goofs: 
Goofs break out on top with a run in the first.  4 more in the fifth as Kang continues to beat up on Fungo pitching.  Goofs hang on to win this one 6-3.  Straily takes the loss for the Fungoes dropping his record to 2-4.



July 8 at Goofs:
Fungoes break out on top scoring in the 2nd inning.  Goofs take the lead and build on it stretching it out to 5-1 with scoring 2 in the 5th inning.  Fungoes score 4 in the 6th to tie it up.  Goofs add 1 run in the bottom half of the 6th and 1 more in the 7th to ease out to a 7-5 lead.  Fungoes blow it up in the 8th scoring 5 to go up 10-7.  That’s the final score as Roark takes the loss and Torres picks up the win in relief for the Fungoes.

August 14 at WTF:
Fungoes score early and often and Hosmer continues to blast the Goof pitching with 4 hits, 5 RBIs and a HR on the night!  Santiago picks up the win for the Fungoes while Wright takes the complete game loss for the Goofs.  Fungoes win it 8-2.

August 15 at WTF:
DeGrom vs Kershaw turns into a well pitched game with the Fungoes winning it 2-0.  Kershaw improves to 6-1 on the season while Degrom takes the loss for the Goofs.  Sal Perez and Daniel Murphy pick up the RBIs for the Fungoes.  Kershaw holds the Goofs to 4 hits.

Buckeyes 11, Drillers 3

Buckeyes take 11 of 14.

4/16 Buckeyes 3 Drillers 2 (11 innings)
4/17 Buckeyes 4 Drillers 2
4/17 Buckeyes 11 Drillers 5
4/19 Drillers 6 Buckeyes 5 (15 innings)
4/20 Drillers 8 Buckeyes2

5/30 Buckeyes 5 Drillers 3
5/31 Buckeyes 8 Drillers 5
6/1 Buckeyes 12 Drillers 2

8/7 Buckeyes 8 Drillers 6
8/8 Buckeyes 9 Drillers 4
8/9 Buckeyes 13 Drillers 3

9/18 Buckeyes 10 Drillers 7 (13 innings)
9/19 Drillers 7 Buckeyes 6 (14 Innings)