Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Sidewinders at DVs

DVs 5, Improving Draft Position 0

DVs swept the Snakes at DVLand in a netplay battle that featured close games that could have gone either way. Mauer hit .455 and Sanchez .417, but the rest of the team didnt lend much help as the Snakes hit .230 as a team. Meanwhile the DVs hit .279 with Elvis leading the way at .471. Halladay and Lirano won 2 games each.
Scores were: 4-3, 6-5, 6-3, 3-1 and 5-4.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011


The Drillers traded Tim Lincecum and Michael Pineda to the Sidewinders for Jay Bruce and Desmond Jennings.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Wahoos vs Nads

Wahoos 3, Nads 1

July 16 Nads 5, at Wahoos 3
July 17 at Wahoos 2, Nads 1
Aug. 29 Wahoos 6, at Nads 2 (10 innings)
Aug. 30 Wahoos 4, at Nads 3
Migilito Olivo Was the surprise hitting star (5-for-12) for the Wahoos. Austin Jackson was 6-for-17. The team hit only .260 thanks in part to an 0-for-10 from Jimmy Rollins and a 2-for-13 from Jayson Werth. The team had a 2.68 ERA.
The Nads hit .235 in the series. Dan Uggla and Adrian Gonzalez combined for an 11-for-28 series.

Wahoos at Sidewinders

Wahoos 2, Snakes 0

Aug. 20 Wahoos 8, at SSWs 4
Wahoos jump on John Danks in the second when backward 2B Will Rhymes hit a bases-loaded double to score 3. The only Wahoos starters to not get a hit? Austin Jackson and Jayson Werth both finished 0-for-5. Wahoos had 11 hits and were led by Fausto Carmona. Jay Bruce hit a 3-run homer in the ninth off Nick Masset.
Aug. 21 Wahoos 2, at SSWs 1
Tommy Hunter was masterful, allowing only a homer to Joe Mauer with 2 outs in the ninth. Will Rhymes and Johnny Damon combined for the game's first run and Justin Morneau added a pinch hit homer in the ninth that proved to be the difference.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Inmates at Wahoos

Inmates 2, Wahoos 0

Two games played on the reservation.
INMATES 2 – WAHOOS 1: A solo homer by Beltre turned out to be the game winner as Wahoo base running blunders prevent the tribe from scoring more.
INMATES 5 – WAHOOS 2: Howard hits a 3-run tater in a b-flat game. Inmates match longest winning streak of the decade with two.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Killer Bees at Tweeners

Tweeners 3, Bees 1

We suck.  Tweeners take 3 of the last 4 at the Hive to finish 5-2 in Beeville.

(Editor's note: The games were actually played at the Hooverdome, not the Hive. And since they were played BY the Beeboy, you'd think he would know that. As they said in Animal House, "Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.") 

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Bee attack kills 1,000-pound hog in Arizona

Story posted 2011.09.16 at 08:35 PM CDT
Associated Press
PHOENIX (AP) - A southern Arizona hog farmer said Thursday that she watched in horror as thousands of bees swarmed a 1,000-pound hog during an attack that lasted about two hours.
"I went out three times to hose him down," June Hewitt told The Associated Press. "The very last time I went, he lifted his head when I called his name, flicked his ears, and that was the end."
Farmers were trying to move a hive that weighed around 200 pounds when about 250,000 Africanized bees swarmed like a black cloud and attacked animals and workers, KOLD-TV ( ) reported.
Hewitt said the attack killed her male pig, Franklin. An 800-pound pregnant sow nearby also was stung so many times that she went into a coma and lost her litter.
"It was very unpleasant," said Hewitt, who lives in the border town of Bisbee.
Bee expert Reed Booth said Franklin had no chance because Africanized bees had spread pheromones all over the farm animals, riling up other bees.
"The pigs started getting stung, and the pheromone was on the pig and that was the target area for the rest of the bees," Booth said. "So the rest of the bees went completely goofy and killed that poor pig. We watched him take his last breath."
Booth said he can't explain why the bees are so agitated this year.
"It doesn't make any rhyme or reason," Booth said. "I've been doing this over 20 years. For some reason, this year, they're (Africanized bees) just going completely insane."
Bee attacks aren't limited to the southern part of the state. A 49-year-old man in northern Arizona remained hospitalized after he was stung more than 1,000 times on Sunday. Yavapai County authorities say DeWayne Spires disturbed bees nesting under a cattle trough.

Killer Bees at Tweeners

Tweeners 2, Bees 1

Game 1: Tweeners 6, Bees 1 - Luke Scott blasted 2 homeruns and Adam Wainwright retired 12 batters on strikeouts at Great American Bpk as the NORM TWEENERS beat the PHILLIP Killer Bees 6 to 1.

Game 2: Bees 5, Tweeners 4 - Jeff Francoeur launched 2 homeruns as the PHILLIP Killer Bees defeated the NORM TWEENERS 5 to 4 at Great American Bpk.

Game 3 - Tweeners 2, Bees 1 - At Great American Bpk, the NORM faithful were treated to an intriguing pitcher's duel. Daniel Hudson(1-0) finally bested his PHILLIP counterpart, Tim Hudson(18-10), by the score of 2 to 1.
I will probably play the remaining 4 tomorrow night after drinking about 22 beers.  Hopefully that will get my bats going.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

DVs at Sidewinders

Sidewinders 3, DVs 2

Sidewinders win 3 of 5 in the Snake Pit to thrash any DV playoff hopes. A rather lackluster performance both ways as the winning team scored either 3 or 4 runs in every game.
Scores are:
Game 1: SSW 4-1
2: SSW 3-1
3: DVs 4-3 in 17 freaking innings
4: DVs 4-2
5: SSW 3-1
Where are the cards?

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Extra Reserve Contest

Congratulations to the Rhinos for winning the extra reserve pick. The competition was apparently close, although with something as bizarre as picking the final order of the California League, who could keep up?

Here are the final  number of teams picked correctly by each of us:
1. Rhinos (7 out of 10 teams picked right on the money)
2. Wahoos and Nads (6)
4. Drillers and Tweeners (5)
6. Warpigs, Sidewinders, and DVs (4)
9. Inmates and Fungoes (3)
11. FFTs and Zaps (2)
13. Killer Bees, Buckeyes, Mavs, and SuperGoofs (1)

Tweeners at Nads

Tweeners 3, Nads 2

Tweeners mess with draft position by taking 3 of 5 at Wrinkled Pink Park.  Only Hal's beat writer can properly report the action.

In game 1, The DAVE NADS ended a long winless drought and toppled the reeling NORM
TWEENERS by a 10 to 6 score at Kauffman Stadium.

DAVE went ahead for good in the 2nd inning plating one baserunner.  Josh
Willingham clubbed a solo home run.  Miguel Montero followed, but he was set
down on strikes.  J.D. Drew then reached on an error.  Cody Ross followed and
he drew a walk.  After another out, Erick Aybar got his turn next, but he was
a strikeout victim.  DAVE ended up with 12 hits for the game while NORM had

The winning pitcher was Ryan Dempster(4-8) who allowed 4 runs in 7 and 1/3
innings. Brandon Lyon earned his 9th save.  Gio Gonzalez(7-6) was the loser.
He got hammered, allowing 10 hits and 4 walks in 6 innings. 

'Ahhh, that victory was surely needed.  Man alive, things were getting awfully
grim,' noted DAVE's manager.  'Now, we need to string a bunch of wins
together and turn things around!'

Next day at Kauffman Stadium the NORM TWEENERS snapped a 7 game losing streak and
outdistanced the pathetic DAVE NADS by a final score of 5 to 1.

NORM brought 4 runs across the plate in the top of the 5th inning.  The
critical plate appearance was by Mark Reynolds who deflated the crowd as he
launched a Grand Slam homerun.  NORM and DAVE each finished the night with 4

The victory was credited to Felix Hernandez(13-10) who went 6 innings,
allowing 1 run. C.J. Wilson(4-9) ended up with the loss.  'It's been a rough
ride lately, but this was a good win for us' said NORM's manager, 'Maybe this
will put us back on track.'

Game 3, The NORM TWEENERS and the DAVE NADS locked up in an exciting one-run game at
Kauffman Stadium.  The final score was the NORM TWEENERS 7, the DAVE NADS 6
in 12 innings.

Both teams had scored 6 runs after nine full innings.  NORM won the hard
fought contest in the 12th inning.  After an out was recorded, Corey Hart
doubled.  Nick Swisher came next and he ripped a base-knock.  Swisher was
safe on a stolen base.  After another out, Ryan Hanigan came up and he was
walked intentionally.  Paul Janish came up to bat and drew a walk to load the
bases.  Ben Zobrist was a strikeout victim, unable to help out.  NORM rapped
out 11 hits for the afternoon. 

The win went to Javier Lopez(2-1) who allowed no runs in 2 and 1/3 innings.
Matt Capps(0-2) was the loser in relief.  He pitched 1 and 1/3 innings and
surrendered 2 hits and 1 walk.

More extra innings in game 4.  Erick Aybar had 5 hits and 3 RBI at Kauffman Stadium as the DAVE NADS beat the
NORM TWEENERS in 11 innings by the count of 5 to 4.

The score was tied at 4 after nine.  DAVE won it in the 11th inning.  Chris
Coghlan drew a walk.  Miguel Montero was the next batter, but he struck out.
J.D. Drew then was hit by a pitch.  Coghlan proceeded to steal third base.
Aybar stepped into the box and slapped a single resulting in an exciting win
for DAVE and a wild post-game celebration by the home town fans.  DAVE
finished with 8 hits in the victory. 

The victory went to Grant Balfour(2-1) who went 1 inning, allowing no runs.
Luke Gregerson(4-9) took the loss in relief.  For DAVE the victory was a
welcome one, indeed.  They had been struggling in their last ten games with a
disappointing 2-8 record.  NORM can't seem to snap out of their recent
'funk'.  Now they have a miserable 2-8 record over the last couple weeks.

In the rubber game, Corey Hart had 2 base hits at Kauffman Stadium where the NORM TWEENERS beat
the woeful DAVE NADS 4 to 3.

NORM had the game winning rally in the 8th inning with 2 runs on 3 hits.
After an out was recorded, Ben Zobrist keyed the rally when he lashed a
single.  Jose Tabata stepped up to the plate and he blasted a two-run home
run.  Luke Scott then slapped a base-hit.  Vernon Wells was next to the
plate, but was promptly struck out.  Hart was next to bat, but he was a
strikeout victim.  NORM had 7 hits for the afternoon. 

Sergio Romo(5-3) was the winner allowing 1 run in 3 innings. Shaun
Marcum(2-13) took the loss.  He allowed 4 runs and 7 hits in 7 and 1/3

Tuesday, September 13, 2011


"Who are those guys?"
The FFTs traded Daric Barton to the Warpigs for David Ross.

Monday, September 12, 2011


The Buckeyes trade Daric Barton and Matt Guerrier to the FFTs for Mark Ellis and Ryan Sweeney.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Mavs at Rhinos

Mavs 3, Rhinos 2

MAVS............. 1 0 0  1 0 0  0 3 0  -  5  9  2
RHINOS.......... 0 0 0  0 0 0  0 1 0  -  1  4  2

MAVS............. 1 0 0  0 0 0  1 2 0  0 1 -  5 12  0
RHINOS.......... 1 0 3  0 0 0  0 0 0  0 0 -  4  6  0

MAVS............. 0 0 2  2 0 0  0 1 0  -  5 12  0
RHINOS.......... 0 0 2  3 0 1  0 0    -  6  6  0

MAVS............. 0 0 1  0 0 0  0 0 0  -  1  8  1
RHINOS.......... 0 0 0  0 0 0  1 3    -  4  7  1

MAVS............. 0 0 0  3 0 0  0 3 0  0 1 -  7 10  2
RHINOS.......... 0 2 0  0 2 0  1 0 1  0 0 -  6 10  0

Mavs at Sidewinders

Mavs 3, Snakes 2

Game 1
MAVS.................. 0 0 0  0 0 0  0 2 0  -  2  4  0
SIDEWINDERS..... 0 0 0  1 0 0  0 0 0  -  1  5  1
Game 2
MAVS.................. 0 0 0  2 0 0  0 2 0  -  4  6  0
SIDEWINDERS..... 4 3 0  1 0 0  2 0    - 10 13  0

Game 3
MAVS.................. 1 2 0  0 0 0  0 1 0  0 2 -  6 12  1
SIDEWINDERS..... 0 0 2  0 1 1  0 0 0  0 1 -  5 13  2

Game 4
MAVS.................. 0 0 0  0 0 0  0 0 0  -  0  2  0
SIDEWINDERS..... 0 1 3  0 1 0  0 1    -  6 10  0

Game 5
MAVS.................. 2 0 0  1 0 0  0 0 1  -  4 11  1
SIDEWINDERS..... 0 0 1  0 0 0  2 0 0  -  3  8  2

Friday, September 09, 2011


The Killer Bees traded Domonic Brown to the Sidewinders for Rafael Betancourt.

The Killer Bees traded a 2012 7th round pick and a 2012 reserve to the Inmates for Jason Motte.

Monday, September 05, 2011

Inmates vs Tweeners

Inmates 3, Tweeners 2

The Tweeners and Inmates hooked up for a typically bizarre series at the HooverDome via netplay/CM:
TWEENERS 7 – INMATES 6 (10): Tweeners send Santanaclaus to an early shower after belting 9 hits in 3 1/3. Then with the score 6-5 in the 6th, HAL sends “OPPONENT HAS LEFT THE BALLPARK. UMPIRE CALLS GAME” message, leaving both faithful fans wondering what the fuck was going on. Autosave came in handy, as Johnson hits sacfly in 9th to send the game into extra innings. Of course, the LDMF lost.
INMATES 4 – TWEENERS 3: Floyd pitches (but doesn’t field) a great game, leaving in the 9th with a 4-2 lead after allowing only 3 hits. Despite orders to the contrary, Inmate defensive change leaves Pennington at 2B (WTF??) where the 5e71 allows both a hit and error. Inmates manager immediately fixes HAL’s fuck-up, while Perez and Motte can’t get the side out. Then, with two outs and the bases loaded in a 4-3 game, HAL sends out the “OPPONENT HAS LEFT BALLPARK. UMPIRE CALLS GAME” message once again. Inmate and Tweener fans wonder what stupid motherfucker of a programmer at SOM could possibly come up with such an imbecilic move. Nevertheless, the autosave works again, and Chamberlain strands all runners for the Inmate victory.
TWEENERS 4 – INMATES 3: This via CM, as 2-3 dozen attempts to get the game connection working between Inmate XP and Tweener Vista prove fruitless and a colossal waste of time. Good game, Casilla gets long save.
Fuck HAL.

Tweeners (mercifully) leave Waco in our rear-view mirror, failing to win there in 2011.  With expanded rosters (which made no difference) Tweeners drop the final pair 6-5 and 3-2.  Inmates plate 5 vs. Fellix in the 1st inning and we can't quite recover.  49,906 showed up for the finale, and all demanded refunds, alleging that they had witnessed replacement players masquerading as Tweeners/Inmates.  If only.

Sunday, September 04, 2011

Zaps at Rhinos

Zaps 3, Rhinos 2

Game 1- Sabathia dominates the Zaps on the way to a 9-0 Rhino triumph.

Game 2- Cabrera and Bautista each hit 2 taters to power a 14-6 Zap win.

Game 3- Rhinos score 8 runs in an inning and still lose 11-9.

Game 4-Edwin Jackson dominates the Zaps bats and gets a 3-1 victory.

Game 5-Garza comes into a tied games and give up 5 runs to the Zaps in a 7-5 defeat.

Saturday, September 03, 2011

Tweeners at Zaps

Zaps 3, Tweeners 0

3 more losses for Tweeners @ Zaps. Scherzer threw a one-hitter at us; Braden loses his 13th to Westbrook, 4-1; and in the finale, Wainwright turns over a 5-2 lead to Santiago Casilla, Zaps score 4 in the 8th including a Bautista 3-run bomb, Tweeners lose 6-5. Get the effin Zaps out of here.

Friday, September 02, 2011

DVs at Buckeyes

Buckeyes 3, DVs 2

I'm sorry, but I do not know the scores of our games.

DVs (see image)

Thursday, September 01, 2011


The FFTs traded J.J. Putz to the Killer Bees for his 2013 2nd round pick.

Nads at Killer Bees

Bees 4, Nads 1

Nads go 1-4 at Bees – NADS REALLY SUCK!!!!!! Shutout twice – managed to win game 5 on 2 HRs by JD Drew…….files attached

GM 1 Bees 3-2

GM 2 Bees 2-0

GM 3 Bees 10-3

GM 4 – Bees 7-0

GM 5 Nads 9-1

Nads at Tweeners

Tweeners 4, Nads 1

Nads go 1-4 at Tweeners – NADS suck!!!!!! Files attached

GM 1 Tweeners 6-2

GM 2 Nads 4-2

GM 3 Tweeners 3-2

GM 4 Tweeners 2-0

GM 5 Tweeners 8-3

Wahoos at Mavs

Wahoos 3, Mavs 2

Wahoos win Game 1, 4-2, as Tommy Hunter loses his shutout on a Uribe homer in the 9th. Pedroia homered and doubled and Hafner had a pair of doubles for the Wahoos. Bailey had 10Ks in the CG loss.
Wahoos start Game 2 with a leadoff triple followed by a homer. Mavs scored their first four runs of the series in the 4th inning thanks in part to a couple of terrible misplays by the Wahoos' defense. Cain dominates with 11Ks.
Game 3 started as a pitchers' duel into the 6th. Then Youkilis connected on a pinch-hit 3-run tater off Heilman. After scoring two in the ninth the Mavs leave the bases loaded against the shaky Carlos Marmol. Wahoos win, 6-4.
Wahoos win Game 4, 3-1, thanks to Travis Hafner. He hit a two-run homer in the 5th. He and Jayson Werth were pretty much the whole offense. Werth scored in the 8th on a squeeze bunt. Mujica and Fuentes slammed the door with 4 innings of relief and only 1 hit allowed. Wahoos had only 4 hits.
Game 5 was more of the same for the Wahoos. The top 4 guys in the order had all 8 hits. After falling behind 2-0, the Wahoos rallied to take a 4-2 lead. They called on Carlos Marmol in the ninth. But after a hit, walk, fielders choice and flyball C, Juan Uribe hit a 3-run walkoff homer. Mavs win 5-4.

Nads at SuperGoofs

Goofs 3, Nads 2

Nads go 2-3 at Goofs – these two teams hit into 19 double plays in 5 games!!!!!

Game 1 Nads 3-1

Game 2 Goofs 1-0

Game 3 Nads 5-2

Game 4 Goofs 4-2

Game 5 Goofs 3-2

SuperGoof season ends.