Friday, March 16, 2018

A Post from the HEAD INMATE

2018 Zits

Time for the eagerly-awaited unveiling of the 2018 Zit roster, the only available review of the most inept team possible with the available cards. While some of the choices can be (master)debated, the possibility of 150+ losses is irrefutable.

Starting with the Arson Squad:

SP – JERED WEAVER -Ya gotta have an ace, and who better to lead the staff than this grizzled veteran? Not only can’t he keep the ball in the park, but in the event that someone doesn’t homer he can’t hold, either.

SP – BRETT ANDERSON – What staff can function without a lefty? Especially one who can’t get lefties out – or hold baserunners when they get on.

SP – CESAR VALDEZ – A young fire-baller who epitomizes the incendiary meltdown tendencies of a prototypical Zit, every “7” on his card is a hit. He does have a -2 hold, but no one ever hits singles against this guy.

SP – DREW VERHAGEN – Every “9” is a homer chance. Need more be said?

Long Relief – BRADEN SHIPLEY – When Zit starters inevitably tire from tossing BP, Shipley can come in for the long-haul and keep fanning the flames.

Setup – FRANKIE MONTAS – This guy can really set the table with over 15 points of taters vs lefties (not including the 8 points of BP). Spud City here we come!

CL – SHAWN KELLEY – With a closer rating of 3, this card makes you wonder what it takes to get a 6. Ever seen a 6-7 N-HR before? Check out his righty side.

On to the hitters:

C – LUKE MAILE – OK, defensively he’s actually very non-Zit-like. Too bad it didn’t transfer to his offensive capabilities.

1B – CHASE D’ARNAUD – He can actually get a (rare) hit against righties, but he makes up for it by showing flaccid-bat syndrome against lefties and having digit-less hands defensively.

2B – MIKE FREEMAN – How does a “3” at 2B get an e59? Oh yeah, the only chance for a hit on his card is on the right side, with a 3-4 HR-1/flyout 2-20. This is a clean-up hitter extraordinaire.

3B – JAE-GYUN HWANG – Good thing there’s a Hwang in his name, ‘cause he doesn’t show one in his hitting.

SS – RAUL MONDESI – The team speed-demon who’s so fast he outruns groundballs to earn an e56. He’s a * stealer, but how he earned this is a mystery since he’s never on base to steal.

LF – CODY ASHE – The Zit team captain, with only HBPs on his card and a 5(+1)e3 in left.

CF – ALEJANDRO DE AZA – What team is complete without a veteran presence in the clubhouse? Showing e21 (in)capabilities in all three outfield positions as well as a total inability to get on base, young Zits have the opportunity to observe full-fledged acne.

RF – TYLER WADE – The poster boy for the Cancer Bat Society. Power rankings don’t read “W,” they read “WTF?”

DH – STUART TURNER – Also functions as the back-up catcher. The only Zit with “N” power on both sides, which is good, because there’s almost no other way he can get a hit.

Monday, March 12, 2018

Pigs and Hoos Swap Picks

The Warpigs traded picks 97, 98, and 100 to the Wahoos for picks 30, 160, and 180.

At pick 96, the Sidewinders make their final selection. At pick 97, the Wahoos make their first.

Saturday, March 10, 2018

Bohl Weevils Pick a Ball Park

The Brantford Bohl Weevils will play their home games this year in Arizona. Singles are 15 both ways; homers are 11.

Pre-Draft Rosters Are Set

After a flurry of last minute (and fairly meaningless) deals, the 2018 NASOMA pre-draft rosters are set.

The draft picks at the end of the draft have been adjusted to fit everyone's roster size. Several teams lost their 11th and 12th round picks (two teams lost late 10th rounders), and the Goofs, Mavs, and Wahoos gained tag-on picks at the end of the draft. If you had a pick numbered 155 or later, that pick is either gone from your list or it has a new (better) number after the adjustments.

Some data on the draft...

The last official pick of the regular draft belongs to the Wahoos, and it is pick 181. There will, of course, be a Lightning Round following the regular draft for anyone wanting to participate.

Most regular draft picks: Mavs (16)

Fewest regular draft picks: Snakes (5)

Most players kept: Rhinos (28)

Fewest players kept: Wahoos (18)

Most and fewest pitchers kept: Snakes (14), Goofs (5)

Most and fewest hitters kept: Goofs (15), Wahoos/Inmates/Mavs/Bees (11)

Uncarded players protected: Rhinos (5), Mavs (2), Wahoos/DVs/Bees (1)

A maximum of 23 additional uncarded players can be drafted this year, with the Mavs (5) leading the way.

There is a link on the home page to a spreadsheet that has all of the available carded players for the draft. It should be formatted to be 2-sided, with the hitters on one side and the pitchers on the other.

Friday, March 09, 2018

Goofs and Pigs Trade

The Goofs traded Andrew Toles to the Warpigs for Brandon Drury and the Pigs' 2019 10th round pick.

Martin Prado Traded to Fungoes

The DVs traded Martin Prado and pick 137 to the Fungoes for pick 125.

Wilmer Flores to the Buckeyes

The Rhinos traded Wilmer Flores to the Buckeyes for pick 159.

Thursday, March 08, 2018

Bees Trade Two Relievers to the Buckeyes

The Killer Bees traded Dan Jennings and Dan Otero to the Buckeyes for their 7th round pick in 2019.

Sunday, March 04, 2018

Buchter to the Pigs

The DVs traded left-handed reliever Ryan Buchter to the Warpigs for pick 61.

Saturday, March 03, 2018

Adam Jones to the DVs

The Inmates parted with their long-time center fielder Adam Jones today, sending him to the DVs. The DVs also receive picks 116 and 137. The Inmates get the 2019 3rd round pick of the DVs.

The plan is for Jones, 32, to man CF for the DVs until Victor Robles is ready to take over.