Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Mavs 5, Goofs 0

The Mavs roll into Disneyworld pleased to find that you can purchase an adult beverage there because hey if you’ve got to stand in line with the wife and kids for hours listening to “It’s a Small World After All” a buzz is in order. 
June 25th:  2nd Amendment Rights advocate Chris Heston faces Jason Hammel.  Although it is a bit unnerving to see Minnie Mouse packing heat, it isn’t the first time the Mavs have played before an armed audience.  WTF are the numbers in this park?  Communist Goofs have nothing but zeroes.  The running Mavs score first in the top of the third on an Upton single, SB and Valencia double and tack on an additional run with infield hits by ARod (boo) and Davis.  Winged feet.  The Mavs add a run in the fourth on a walk to Miller, Lucroy sac and Wong double and oh my Bernice Brewer appears to be trying to strike up some kind of event with Huey, Dewey and Louie.  This is what happens when you don’t allow home runs.  In the bottom of the fourth the Goofs get their first baserunner on a Valencia error but strand him.  Their first hit comes in the bottom of the fifth on a Duda double but the Goofs strand him.  In the top of the seventh ARod (boo) drives in a run on a ballpark fly ball B and the cameras catch Bernice Brewer smoking three cigarettes at once.  The Mavs hold on to win 6-0 as four pitchers combine on a two hitter.  Jason Hammel wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game going seven innings allowing just one hit, striking out seven and walking none.
June 26th:  The Mavs go for the coveted NASOMA D Cup for the best record in the regular season.  Eduardo Rodriguez takes the hill against Jake Odorizzi who after giving up 38 homers in 169 innings has to be happy to be in Disneyworld.  The Goofs score first in the bottom of the second when Bryce Harper fails to chase down a looping single.  It is still 1-0 at the end of the fifth although it is hard to see how.  The Goofs have stranded eight plus hit into a double play as nine of the first 23 batters have reached base for the Goofs.  The Mavs get an infield hit, a walk, a sacrifice bunt by ARod (boo) and pitcher X where we sent James McCann 1-9 and he made it to tie the game in the top of the sixth.  I’m glad the Goofs didn’t have to see that.  In the eighth still tied, McCann draws a walk, Harper gets an X hit off Duda (3e4), after ARod (boo) and Davis hit ground ball C’s, Jackie F. Bradley greets Franklin Morales (the right move by Hal) with 2-8 double chasing in two runs.  The Goofs get one run back in the bottom of the eighth on a double by Duda and a single by Phillips.  The Goofs get the tying run on the ninth with a walk by Choo but Kang strikes out and Duda grounds out.  The Mavs win 3-2 and get their hands on the D Cup at last.  JF Bradley gets the Betty’s Brothel Blow of the Game for the two out double off a lefty.
Sept 6th:  The badly hungover Mavs send Hammels out to face Luis Severino.  The Goofs strike first on a Cameron Maybin homer 1-3 flyB (split of 3) to lead off the first.  In the top of the third Chris Davis hits a 1-6 straight out tater scoring Harper who had doubled.  Mickey reaches for his hip flask.  The Mavs add a run in the top of the fourth on an Upton double.  Mickey careens to the luxury box bar.  The Mavs add a run in the top of the fifth on a sacrifice fly by JF Bradley.  Mickey kicks Goofy and passes out with a bean burrito in his left hand and a Tres Generaciones bottle in his right.  The Mavs hold on to win 4-1.  Davis wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game going 2-3 with two walks, a homer (number 54) and a double.
Sept 7th:  In a reprise of the D Cup clincher it is Eduardo Rodriguez vs. Jake Odorizzi.  The Mavs open the scoring in the top of the first with an ARod (boo) 1-9 straight out homer (number 33).  Chris Davis follows with his 55th homer.  In the top of the third Nick Castellanos hits a 2-6 two run homer.  The Goofs cut the lead in half with a single by Phillips and back to back doubles by Maybin and Parra.  The Mavs hang on from there and win 4-2.  I counted three ball park homers by the Goofs.  The game would have been different in the Rastadome.  ARod (boo) wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game going 2-3 with a homer and a walk.
Sept 8th:  Steven Wright (he likes to skate on the other side of the ice) vs. Yovanni Gallardo (16-3 with a 2.98 ERA – explain that).  The Mavs open the scoring in the first on a 1-5 straight out homer by Bryce Harper (number 44).  Chris Davis followed with a 1-10 straight out homer (number 56).  The Mavs tack on two runs in the top of the ninth on a Harper double and seven Mav pitchers (September baseball) combine to throw a shutout.  Mavs win 4-0.  Gallardo wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game by picking up his seventeenth win.

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