Friday, January 13, 2017

Snakes and Bees Trade

In a surprising move, the Sidewinders sent the young speedster Dee Gordon and the even younger slugger Jorge Soler to the Killer Bees. In return, the Snakes add Joe Blanton to an already stellar pen along with veteran second baseman Neil Walker.

Blanton threw 80 innings last year, holding hitters from both sides of the plate to minuscule batting averages. Walker, who will be a 2b-3, had terrific numbers vs LHP, and the Snakes always see plenty of LHP.

Soler, 24, has fallen out of favor with a couple of NASOMA teams over the past year, getting traded by the Buckeyes just last summer. His hope of earning the 500 AB he needs to blossom into a power hitter might be within reach now that he's in the American League and can DH.

Dee Gordon, who swiped 30 bases last year and will be a 2b-2, was not the least bit pleased to go from the top of NASOMA to the dregs. "I don't know what I did to piss off the Snakeman," Gordon said. "I helped the bastard finally win a title, I got him laid when he came down to Miami, and now he wants to run me off. And to the fucking BEES! Jesus Christ... I mean... the Nads? Sure, okay. The Goofs... shit, fine. Even the damn Drillers would have been acceptable... But the fucking Bees? I don't even play the banjo. Nobody will ever hear from me again."

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