The Rangers game is over and I have the house to myself. Looks like a good time to get the Nads out and play for a bit.
4/12 Chris Tillman vs. Yovani Gallardo. The Mavs are hoping that Tillman’s incident with stadium security will shake him up. To the credit of the Mavs crack security team (and a few phone calls from member of GLAD), the Dior evening gown that Tillman was wearing into the stadium will be returned after the game. The Nads draw first blood on an Upton X two base hit and error (no RBI for Todd Frazier who can be seen glaring at the press box). Frazier scores on a Calhoun fly ball B and the Mavs make two more errors both by e8’s so clearly Frazier was destined to score. But still no RBI. The Mavs counter with two runs without the benefit of a homer. Manager Paul Waner faints breaking his Jim Beam bottle. A bunch of walks load the bases for the Mavs and Jason Heyward gets a single 1-2 to drive in a run. Nads manager Barack Obama (hey he has to do something new soon) harkens back to his college days and sneaks down the tunnel for some relief. When he returns he accidently brings in Nick Martinez with the bases loaded and Brad Miller at the plate (who knows what happened in that tunnel). The Mavs counter with Danny Valencia who gets a two base error off of Todd Frazier. More glaring at the press box. Manager Obama brings the infield in while listening to Led Zepplin IV backwards and Lucroy gets a plus hit. More bad things ensued for the Nads including another error by a now totally out of control Todd Frazier. Mavs win 12-3. The Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game goes to Jonathan Lucroy who went 3-3 with four RBIs.
4/13 C. J. Wilson vs. Jake Odorizzi. The first 15,000 fans will receive a collector’s edition Bernice Brewer Bobble Breast figurine (special packaging required for that figure). The Mavs put up a three spot due largely to a 1-7 clutch hit by Jackie F. Bradley. In the third Frazier makes another error (he is only an e20 but if the ball comes near him on a hit, we’re going to give him an error apparently) but the Mavs strand the runner at third. Harper sends Bernice Brewer down the slide with a solo shot in the bottom of the seventh. Three Mav pitchers combine to throw a three hit shutout striking out six and walking zero. The Betty’s Brothel Blow of the Game was the omega hit by JF Bradley. 4-0 Mavs.
7/5 Chris Tillman, resplendent in his Vivienne Westwood gown, vs. Cookie Carrasco. We may bunt some. We think Tillman’s stilettos might be a disadvantage in the soft turf. The Mavs put three up in the first again. The key play was Miguel Montero electing to throw to first to get the batter on a dribbler in front of the plate with the bases loaded and nobody out. Three unearned runs score in the bottom of the third after an Adrian Gonzalez error (1e7). I’m glad the Nads didn’t have to see this. Then in the sixth down 6-0 Barak Obama gives Anthony Gose the steal sign with one out and Gose standing on second. Hal picks 20 for the split card. I’m glad the Nads didn’t have to see that. Harper sends Bernice down the slide and cutting to the chase the Mavs win 8-0 as four pitchers combined to shut the Nads out again. Harper wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game. Todd Frazier didn’t make an error.
7/6 C. J. Wilson vs. Clay Buchholz. New Mavs sponsor Viagra is handing out free samples in honor of the effect Buchholz has on bats (6.83 ERA). Sure enough the Nads strike first stringing together three singles in the first. 1-0 Nads. 2-1 Nads after two as the Nads have actual rallies while the Mavs hit a solo homer (Heyward). 3-1 after three. In the bottom of the sixth Jackie F. Bradley hits a two out two run homer taking Buchholz off the hook. A 1-7 clutch hit by Castellanos off Tony Sipp gives the Mavs the lead in the bottom of the seventh. Alas it was short lived as Miguel Montero hit a two run homer off of Zach Britton on a 3-10 1-9 fly, Up 5-4 Barak Obama brings in Hector Rondon to close out. Dozier lets an X chance go through. A Miller GbC gets Wong to second. The Mavs pinch hit Lucroy (looking for the clutch hit) but he grounds to second stranding the tying run. 5-4 Nads with Montero winning the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game for going 2-4 with three RBI’s including the game winner. Frazier made an error in the fourth.
7/7 Mike Fiers vs. Jesse Hahn. Both pitchers just suck and if the Mavs could hit a homer 1-16 the game would be a blow out by the third but we missed a few so it is 4-3 after three. The Mavs miss another 1-16 leaving two on in the bottom of the fourth. The Nads tie it on a 2B X single in the fifth. 4-4. ARod leads of the bottom of the fifth with a 1-9 straight out solo shot and the Mavs move back on top. In the top of the eighth the Nads tie it on back to back doubles by Frazier and Dozier off of Mychal Givens. Both teams miss a chance in the ninth and we go into extra innings. After the Mavs left two on in the bottom of the eleventh, Adrian Gonzalez homers off of Hunter Strickland in the top of the twelfth. Chris Davis doubles and Wong hits a one star single. First and third and one out but we’re stuck with James McCann against Rondon. Obama plays the corners in. The Mavs squeeze anyway. Sac is successful. On we go to the thirteenth. This time the Nads get two off of Strickland. Down two, Kendrick gets an X chart single tiring Rondon (Gose gave it up). In comes Nick Martinez. Heyward gets a 3-12 single but Jackie F. Bradley bounds into two. Harper walks bringing Miller up as the winning run but he grounds to first. 8-6 Nads in 13. The Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game goes to Cesar Ramos who threw five innings of shutout relief. He didn’t figure in the decision but it wouldn’t have been a Nad win without him. The Mavs stranded 13 by the way.