Wahoos 6, Drillers 4

Drillers go 4 and 6 in elbow to elbow PC play.

 

We were lucky to get 4.  Encarnacion and Seager combined for 23 rbi.

 

dd

FFTs and Inmates Trade

The FFTs traded Brett Lawrie to the Inmates for Josh Reddick.

Pigs and FFTs Trade

The Warpigs traded Adrian Beltre and Jeff Samardzija to the FFTs for Martin Prado, Josh Rutledge, the Inmate 9th round pick, and the Killer Bee 10th round pick.

Update

The Warpigs have clinched the #1 seed, but there is a great race for the other all-important 1st round bye.

Here are the standings for the #2 seed:

All three teams have mostly cupcakes remaining favorable schedules to finish out the year.

The Inmates have games remaining with the Mavs (10), the Rhinos (7), the Drillers (5), and the Wahoos (2)

The Zaps have the FFTs (10) and the Killer Bees (5)

The Snakes have the Killer Bees (14) and the Fungoes (3)

As for the 2 wild card spots, the standings look like this:

The Fungoes have games remaining with the Wahoos (10), the Drillers (5), and the Sidewinders (3).

The Goofs have completed their regular season.

The Drillers still have to play the Wahoos (10), the Nads (5), the Rhinos (5), the Fungoes (5), and the Inmates (5). 25 of their remaining 30 games are at Driller Park. If he can win 18 of those, he can tie the Goofs. Win 19, and he's in the post season.

The Nads are only 5 games back of the Goofs for the final spot, but they only have 10 games left and would have to sweep them just to tie. And that's not going to happen. Great season, Nadman. Maybe next year.

The Tweeners are 5.5 back, but with 19 games remaining, they have a chance. Not a great chance, since they would have to go 15-4 just to tie the Goofs, but it's possible. Especially since their remaining games are against the Rhinos (10) and the Bees (9), two teams who really suck with draft position on their minds.

Among the teams with winning records, the Wahoos have the most games remaining, but they would need to go 28-15 to leapfrog the Nads and Tweeners and catch the Goofs for the final spot. They are only 1 game over .500 after 119 games, but stranger things have happened.

Now, we can't overlook two other possible scenarios: The Fungoes could still win the HWD. They are only 4 games in back of the Inmates. But the Inmates have the easier remaining schedule. It's a shame they don't have any remaining face to face games. And over in the AWD, the Snakes haven't clinched the division just yet. He needs to go 7-10 the rest of the way to clinch, but he'll probably get 7 wins in his first 6 games against the pork-sucking Bees.

For those of you wondering about the draft order, the Buckeyes have sewn up the 1st pick. In fact, he nailed that down about 10:00 Saturday morning of Draft Weekend. So the rest of you can forget about getting your shot at drafting ARod. The Killer Bees have been criminally throwing games working hard to earn pick #2, holding the edge over the Rhinos (who have 37 games remaining, but ran out of innings 20 games ago), the FFTs (who haven't played a game in 3 months, but somehow still only have 10 to play), the DVs (who have been trying to throw games, but apparently even suck at sucking), and Mavs (who have already figured out that in next year's draft, pick 6 won't be that much worse than pick 1).

Zaps 3, Fungoes 2

Game 1-Jaso get a two-run tater on a 1-3 chance in the first inning and that sets the tone. Perez is safe at second on a 1-5 decide roll in the second to continue the trend. The Zaps try to climb back in the fourth but Perez blocks the plate on a 1-6 change to deny Goldie the run. The next man up ,Rendon, gets revenge with a two-run triple, and Zimmerman’s 4 e30 glove at first costs the Fungoes another run when he boots a grounder by the next batter, Martin. Machado helps pile it on in the next frame with an Earl Weaver special that chases Koehler. The Fungoes come back with a run in the sixth, but Martin cancels it with a tater in the home half. The Fungoes refuse to die and get a couple back in the eighth with the help of an error. Giles tosses a scoreless ninth to give the good guys the opener 10-7.

Game 2- The Fungoes jumped out to a 5-0 lead off Scherzer in the first three frames. The Zaps answered with four runs in the next two innings aided by seemingly endless errors from the right side of the Fungoes infield. Trout hit his second home run of the game in the fifth to stymie the comeback. A mountain of Duffy walks in the eighth allowed in two more. Papelbon got a shaky three inning save to seal the deal 8-5

Game 3-A class pitcher’s duel between Price and Hamels. The Zaps manufactured a couple of runs for an early 2-1 lead and hung on for a 3-2 win.

Game 4- Roark and the pen completely stifle the Zap’s bats and combine for a shutout.

Game 5-Goldie opened the game up with a two-run tater in the third, and the Fungoes could never catch up as six Zap relievers only give up an unearned run as the home team takes the getaway game 4-3.

Zaps 3, DVs 2

Game 1-Niese pitched out of constant trouble through the first five innings and fell behind 2-0 before the Zaps scored three in the bottom of the fifth. The Zaps tacked on a couple of more, and the bullpen made it stand up for a 5-3 win in the opener.

Game 2- Dickerson and Goldschmidt opened the game with back-to-back jacks in the bottom of the first. Stanton unrealistically hits a Kluber heater for an Earl Weaver special in the fourth to put the bad guys ahead. Dickerson hit his second tater of the game in the bottom of the frame to bring the Zaps back to within one. Pujols ended the scoring with a solo shot in the sixth as Hutchinson and the DV pen unrealistically silenced the Zaps bats to reverse the first game score for the bad guys 5-3.

Game 3- Pujols popped a deuce tater in the first. Pearce started the climb back with a solo shot in the second, and Dickerson’s Earl Weaver special gave the good guys a lead in the third. The roadies clawed back for two in the top of the 8^th behind a mountain of walks. Machado stuck a dagger in the hearts of the DV’s in the bottom of the frame with a two-run shot. Giles and Abad shut the door in the 9^th for a 6-4 Zap triumph.

Game 4- Ramos started the scoring with a solo shot in the third, and the bad guys got three runs in the 4^th aided by a wild pitch. The Zaps tried to climb back in the fifth with a brace of runs, but the DV’s pen and the second Ramos shot of the game assured the bad guys of a victory.

 Game 5- Kluber’s end the DV’s back to T-town with a 2-hit shutout between their legs. 

Roster Page Updated

I've added your draft picks for 2016 at the bottom of your list of players on the roster page. It should reflect any 2016 picks traded. The number of reserves you own is next to your  team name at the top of the column.

As always, if I have missed something, let me know.

Pigman

Warpigs 3, Tweeners 2

Runs were hard to come by for both teams today.

All games Netplayed.

At The BallPork

7/19 - Warpigs win 3-0. Adam Wainwright (25-7) threw the complete game shutout, allowing 2 hits and no walks, striking out 6. Justin Morneau hit a solo homer.

7/20 - Tweeners win 2-1. That Damn Pedro Strop! He blew another save, giving up a solo homer to George Springer that tied the game in the 6th and a triple to Zack Cozart in the 7th. Cozart scored the winning run, making That Damn Pedro Strop (1-3) the losing pitcher. Matt Wieters' leadoff homer in the 1st was the only run the Pigs scored against Hisashi Iwakuma and three relievers. Santiago Casilla got the final out for the save.

7/21 - Warpigs win 3-2. Robinson Cano brought the Pigs from behind with a 6th inning 2-run homer off of Shelby Miller, who had otherwise pitched well. Sean Doolittle (4-1), who bailed out That Damn Pedro Strop an inning earlier, got the win. Joe Smith got the final four outs - 3 on Ks - to earn his 22nd save.

At the Hoover Dome

8/30 - Tweeners win 3-1. The Pigs got to King Felix for a 1st inning run, but missed the opportunity to score more - and never scored again. The Tweener runs came on 1 swing of the bat in the 5th inning. After R.A. Dickey retired the first two batters, he surrendered 3 straight singles to load the bases, bringing up Nelson Cruz with the bases loaded and 2 outs. In to face him... That Damn Pedro Strop. I know, I know... but he was DUE! Well, I thought he was due. He was not. Cruz rolled 3-6, which is DO8fbB. He rolled the 8. The hit cleared the bases and gave the Tweeners the win. Felix got the win, Casilla the save, Dickey (17-14) the loss. Because the runs scored in the 5th, TDP Strop was not given a blown save.

8/31 - Warpigs win 4-1. 4 runs! A blow out! A smorgasbord of offense. Morneau homered, and Lance Lynn (17-8) went 6 innings for the win. Joe Smith went 9-up, 9-down for the perfect 3-inning save, his 23rd.

DVs 3, Inmates 2

DiamondVision close their season series against the Inmates winning 3 of 5.

All were close games – DVs win games 1 and 2 at the Penitentiary by 4-3 and 6-5 scores. At the DV park the Inmates win 6-5 and 6-3, before the DVs close out the second game of a DH with a 5-4 win.

DVs didn’t take particularly good notes for the series as Naked and Afraid Marathon was on TV in the background. Perhaps Inmates were less distracted.

The Inmate Version...

All games via netplay.

 

DVS 4 – INMATES 3 (Baptist Bowl): Inmate ass ace McHugh gives up moon shots to Longoria and Pujols before getting out of the 1^st. Altuve got caught stealing and Marte flew into a DP, showcasing additional Inmate lowlights. Clippard recorded a two-inning save for the DVs.

 

DVS 6 – INMATES 5 (Baptist Bowl): Longoria tatered again and the DVs stayed one step ahead of the Inmates to sweep the short series at the Baptist Bowl. Alfredo (Big Pasta) Simon, showing the effects of extreme carb overdosing, allowed everyone coming to the plate to have their way. Clippard with another two-inning save.

 

INMATES 6 – DVS 5 (11 innings - DV Park by Viagra): In the spirit of giving, the Inmates did everything they could to give this one away. A 5-3 lead in the 8^th slipped away when Ramos, Hughes, and Ramirez were allowed to take the hill to toss BP to the DVs. Despite hammering 15 hits, the Inmates left nine on and hit into five double-fucking-plays. An exhausted Clippard (three straight appearances/6.1 IP) took the loss, though, letting Altuve single home Segura with the final run of the game in the Inmate 11^th.

 

INMATES 6 – DVS 3 (DV Park by Viagra): All Inmate offense came as the result of homers by Altuve, Rosario, and Martinez off of Paxton, doing his best Bert Blyleven imitation (remember the “Bert” factor?). Stanton homered for the second straight game, but the Beakless Chicken Gang held on to even the series.

 

DVS 5 – INMATES 4 (DV Park by Viagra): A pox upon Stanton! Two homers, including a game-winning orbital blast in the 7^th, led the DVs to a win in the prophylactic match of the day. Soon-to-be-Inmate-cut Norris kept the ball in the strike zone for the Inmates, K’ing ten propeller heads and allowing four homers, showing that he, too, was afflicted with the “Bert” factor.

Tweeners and Sidewinders Trade

While causing torrential rain in Cincinnati, the Snakes and Tweeners also managed to swap cuts. Michael Saunders to the Sidewinders; Nick Vincent to the Tweeners.

Warpigs 5, SuperGoofs 0

The Warpigs aren't as hot as the Inmates, but they clinched the BUD with this sweep.

All games at The BallPork.

5/13 - Warpigs win 6-2. Victor Martinez had 3 hits, and a 3-run homer by Adrian Beltre took a 3-2 lead to a 6-2 lead in the 8th. R.A. Dickey (17-13) went 5 innings for the win. Sean Doolittle pitched the final 4 innings for his 9th save.

5/14 - Warpigs win 10-2. A rare offensive outburst by the Pigs was the result of 4 home runs. Robinson Cano, Jayson Werth, Troy Tulowitzki, and Adrian Beltre all went deep to support the pitching of Garrett Richards (18-4).

5/15 - Warpigs win 6-0. The Pigs hit 6 doubles, and Jayson Werth added a homer. Adam Wainwright (23-7) and Sean Doolittle combined for the shutout.

7/22 - Warpigs win 3-2. The Goofs held a 2-1 lead in the 7th, but Jake Smolinski doubled off of James Russell, was bunted to 3rd, and scored on an e6 by Alexei Ramirez. Then in the 8th, 2 walks and an RBI-single by VMart gave the Pigs the lead. Doolittle (3-1) got the win, and Joe Smith recorded the final 2 outs for his 21st save. Lucas Duda homered for the Goofs.

7/23 - Pigs win 2-0. Wainwright (24-7) allowed 1 hit and 1 walk in 6 innings. Doolittle allowed 1 hit and no walks in the final 3 innings for his 10th save. Francisco Cervelli went 3-3.

Sidewinders 3, Tweeners 1

Details coming, but the Snakes are now tied with the Goofs for first in the AWD.

The Race to the Pennant

With the regular season winding down, there are tight races going on in the Herman Wheeler Division, the Ab Wheeler Division, and for the two wild card spots.

In the HWD, the red hot Inmates (18-3 in their last 21 games) have forged ahead of the Fungoes and currently lead them by 4 games. The Inmates' magic number is 23. The Nads have dropped out of the division race, trailing the Inmates by 11.5 games.

Over in the AWD, the Goofs have a 1 game lead over the Sidewinders. The Goofs' magic number is 13 but only have 5 games left to play, meaning the Snakes hold their fortune in their own hands. The Goofs should be a playoff team either way - the only question being, "Will he have his playoff dice ready to go?" The Tweeners are 6.5 games back and will have a lot to say about how this division turns out.

In the MFD, the Zaps hold a commanding 7.5 games lead over the Drillers. The Zap magic number is 21.

The Warpigs have not quite mathematically wrapped up the BUD, but their magic number is 4, so the BUD title is theirs.

As for the wild card, here are the current standings:










If the playoffs started today, the seeds would be:
1 - Pigs
2 - Inmates
3 - Zaps vs 6 - Snakes
4 - Goofs vs 5 - Fungoes

Inmates 6, Nads 1

Inmates continue to pummel buttocks kick ass. All games at the Baptist Bowl via CM.

 

INMATES 5 – NADS 3: Inmates score a pair in the bottom of the 4^th to take the lead for good. Tillman allowed 12 hits in six innings for the loss.

 

NADS 6 – INMATES 2: A rare re-appearance of the LDMF. Cosart and Rendon allowed only four hits, while Frazier had three RBI. Of no particular significance: the Inmates struck out only once (Altuve).

 

INMATES 9 – NADS 4: Two games in one. The first lasted two innings and was totally dominated by the Nads, who scored twice in both the 1^st and 2^nd. The Inmates managed to get runners on in both innings, but hit into inning-ending double-fucking-plays. All hell broke loose in the bottom of the 3^rd, however, capped by a three-run tater by Jones. The Nads managed only four hits the rest of the way.

 

INMATES 3 – NADS 2: A singularly unexciting game with the ultimate winning run scoring in the bottom of the 7^th on a passed ball by Montero.

 

INMATES 10 – NADS 6: Not as close as the final score. The Nads scored three in the 9^th off of a tiring Big Pasta Simon to make it look like a real game. Rizzo, Reddick, Martinez, and Rosario all homered for the Beakless Chicken Gang.

 

INMATES 3 – NADS 2: A Rizzo three-run homer in the 2^nd was all the scoring the Inmates got, but it was all they needed. Adams and Crawford both tatered for the Nads, but both were solo shots.

 

INMATES 7 – NADS 4: The Inmates scored five in the 5^th and two more in the 6^th to ice the game. The Nads once again delayed scoring until late with a three-spot in the 8^th, but by then it was too late.

 

The HEAD INMATE

Inmates 5, Killer Bees 0

I don't have any details yet, but the games were played at The Beehive, and the Inmate sweep vaults them into 1st place in the HWD.

Warpigs 4, DVs 3

All games played at The BallPork via Netplay.

5/19 - Warpigs win 7-3. Adam Wainwright (21-7) went 7 innings, allowing only 4 hits and no walks for the win. Justin Morneau had 3 hits and knocked in 4.

5/20 - DVs win 2-1. Albert Pujols had a 2-out, 2-run hit in the 7th for the win. The Pigs have had only 4 blown saves all year, but 3 have been by Pedro Strop and 2 of those came against the DVs. Robinson Cano homered in the 1st.

5/21 - DVs win 7-6. J.J. Hardy and Dexter Fowler, the 8-9 hitters for the DVs, combined to go 5-8, with 3 runs and 4 RBI. The Pigs ralled late, with rare homers from Jake Smolinski and Jon Jay (his first of the year), but came up short.

7/27 - Warpigs win 1-0 in 13 innings. Some batting averages took a beating in this one. Stephen Strasburg threw a complete game for the DVs, as the Pigs kept rolling 4-9 and 6-9, neither of which involves putting the ball in play. Garrett Richards allowed 5 hits and 4 walks in his 5 innings, but somehow kept anyone from crossing the plate. The DVs had 2 runners on in each of the first 4 innings. Joe Smith (3-0) got the win in relief, going an amazing 5.2 innings. In the bottom of the 13th, Lorenzo Cain led off with a single and was bunted over by Yadier Molina. Robby Cano singled, but Cain was forced to hold up at 3rd. Jayson Werth sent the Pig faithful home happy with a walk-off single.

7/28 - Warpigs win 7-2. Cano, Morneau, and Victor Martinez homered to back the pitching of Wainwright (22-7), who went 7 innings for the win.

7/29 - DVs win 4-2. Matt Holliday hit a 3-run homer off of R.A. Dickey in the 2nd inning, and that was enough to support the pitching of Drew Hutchison. Dexter Fowler added an insurance run late with a solo shot. Tyler Clippard got the save.

7/30 - Warpigs win 2-0. Michael Wacha (10-5) finished the regular season with a bang. He hit the floor after 5.2 innings of 1-hit ball. The bullpen allowed only 1 more hit for the Pigs' 100th win of the season and their 26th shutout. Joe Smith, fresh after 2 days off following his marathon performance, got the last 4 outs for his 20th save. The Pigs only had 2 hits themselves, but 1 of them was a 1st inning 2-run blast by VMart.

Killer Bees 3, Rhinos 2

Rhinos go 2-3 vs the Bees

Jun 2 Rhinos 5 Bees 2

Jun 3 Bees 3 Rhinos 0

Jun 4 Bees 4 Rhinos 3

Aug 10 Rhinos 7 Bees 6

Aug 11 Bees 9 Rhinos 3

Tweeners 4, Killer Bees 1

Bees continue their epic slide, manage 1 win vs the Tweeners at the Hive.  Tweeners go 4-1.

Inmates 4, Drillers 1

Via CM at the Baptist Bowl:

 

INMATES 8 – DRILLERS 0: Five Inmate pitchers hold the Driller bats to four hits. Gattis and Marte homered for the Beakless Chicken Gang. Drillers just sucked.

 

INMATES 5 – DRILLERS 3: Keuchel pitched reasonably well, giving up only solo taters to Jones and Rosario. He fielded shittily with his own boot allowing an unearned run in the 4^th. Rosario hit his second HR of the game in the 8^th to push the lead to 5-1; a two-run Driller rally in the 9^th (including a tater by Zufuckingnino) made it close, but that was it.

 

INMATES 6 – DRILLERS 5: Once again the Drillers score two in the 9^th to make it look close. HAL had Shields take one for the team, pitching a CG 11-hitter. Rizzo was never fooled going 4-4 with a pair of homers.

 

INMATES 7 – DRILLERS 0: The humiliation continued with the Drillers getting shutout by Norris (!!!). HAL gives up again, allowing Wheeler to get pummeled for all seven Inmate runs.

 

DRILLERS 2 – INMATES 1: Drillers avoid the ignominy of a sweep when Jennings hit  a one-out single in the top of the 9^th to plate what turned out to be the game-winner. LDMF bats fell silent, with everyone too tired to run the bases after the last game’s batting practice.

 

Inmates remain relatively hot.

 

The HEAD INMATE

Inmates 3, Goofs 2

All via CM at the Baptist Bowl:

 

GOOFS 6 – INMATES 3: The Goofs score three-spots in both the 2^nd and 8^th innings while the Fucked-Up-Dog pitching staff held the LDMF to not much.

 

INMATES 7 – GOOFS 2: The Inmates hit five bombs (JDMartinez twice), including back-to-back-to-back shots in the 8^th by Martinez, Rizzo, and Jones to blow open an otherwise fairly close game.

 

INMATES 2 – GOOFS 0: NO-HITTER! NO-HITTER! NO-HITTER! Three Inmate pitchers (Norris [!!!], Ramos, and Neshek) combined to totally shut down the Goofs in the second no-no ever tossed by the Inmate staff. Goof pitchers did well, holding the LDMF to only 5 hits and two runs, but WTF! NO-HITTER!

 

INMATES 8 – GOOFS 7: Duda hit a pair of HRs for the Goofs, but after Hughes allowed the Inmates to close the gap to 7-5 Street came in and performed an act of self-immolation, allowing a three-run tater to Rizzo to throw the game away.

 

GOOFS 3 – INMATES 1: A pitchers’ duel with the LDMF collecting only three hits to lose the series finale.

 

The HEAD INMATE