Sunday, September 06, 2015

DVs 3, Inmates 2

DiamondVision close their season series against the Inmates winning 3 of 5.
All were close games – DVs win games 1 and 2 at the Penitentiary by 4-3 and 6-5 scores. At the DV park the Inmates win 6-5 and 6-3, before the DVs close out the second game of a DH with a 5-4 win.
DVs didn’t take particularly good notes for the series as Naked and Afraid Marathon was on TV in the background. Perhaps Inmates were less distracted.

The Inmate Version...

All games via netplay.
DVS 4 – INMATES 3 (Baptist Bowl): Inmate ass ace McHugh gives up moon shots to Longoria and Pujols before getting out of the 1st. Altuve got caught stealing and Marte flew into a DP, showcasing additional Inmate lowlights. Clippard recorded a two-inning save for the DVs.
DVS 6 – INMATES 5 (Baptist Bowl): Longoria tatered again and the DVs stayed one step ahead of the Inmates to sweep the short series at the Baptist Bowl. Alfredo (Big Pasta) Simon, showing the effects of extreme carb overdosing, allowed everyone coming to the plate to have their way. Clippard with another two-inning save.
INMATES 6 – DVS 5 (11 innings - DV Park by Viagra): In the spirit of giving, the Inmates did everything they could to give this one away. A 5-3 lead in the 8th slipped away when Ramos, Hughes, and Ramirez were allowed to take the hill to toss BP to the DVs. Despite hammering 15 hits, the Inmates left nine on and hit into five double-fucking-plays. An exhausted Clippard (three straight appearances/6.1 IP) took the loss, though, letting Altuve single home Segura with the final run of the game in the Inmate 11th.
INMATES 6 – DVS 3 (DV Park by Viagra): All Inmate offense came as the result of homers by Altuve, Rosario, and Martinez off of Paxton, doing his best Bert Blyleven imitation (remember the “Bert” factor?). Stanton homered for the second straight game, but the Beakless Chicken Gang held on to even the series.
DVS 5 – INMATES 4 (DV Park by Viagra): A pox upon Stanton! Two homers, including a game-winning orbital blast in the 7th, led the DVs to a win in the prophylactic match of the day. Soon-to-be-Inmate-cut Norris kept the ball in the strike zone for the Inmates, K’ing ten propeller heads and allowing four homers, showing that he, too, was afflicted with the “Bert” factor.

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