Friday, June 30, 2017

Warpigs 6, Inmates 4

Cards and dice at the Baptist Bowl:
Evil Empire 6 – LDMF 4

Editor's Notes in yellow.

Pigs 8 – Inmates 7 (12 innings – BallPork): A beautiful day for a ballgame, except that the Pigs won. Continuing a trend that started against the Fungi, Altuve continued his hot streak and went 0-4 with three Ks. Cargo hit a one-out homer in the Inmate 9th to send the game into extra innings. The LDMF then showed up in force, scratching out one measly hit for the rest of the game. Johnson allowed a bunch of hits to a bunch of nameless mother-fuckers in the 12th to throw away any chance for a win.

The Warpigs scored 3 times in the 1st inning thanks to 4 walks and a homer from Yasmany Tomas. Logan Forsythe went 4-6, with 3 of the hits bringing in runs. Starlin Castro had the walk off single to score Ender Inciarte, who had singled and stole second (after not being held). Raisel Iglesias (5-1) threw the final 3.1 innings for the win.

Pigs 2 – LDMF 1 (BallPork): A great pitching duel between five Pig pitchers and Quintana/Jeffress. The LDMF inhaled vociferously and scored only a single unearned run in the 3rd. Shitfuck.

Anthony DeSclafani (8-4) allowed only an unearned run in 6 innings. Alex Wilson finished up for his 6th save. The two Pig runs scored in the 5th inning on a 2-run double by Tomas.

LDMF 3 – Pigs 2 (Baptist Bowl): Both teams squandered multiple scoring opportunities and left a multitude of baserunners.  Segura’s bases-loaded single in the Inmate 9th mercifully ended the game.

Hunter Pence had 3 hits, and Jake Lamb homered. The Warpigs stranded 9 runners in scoring position. Grrr.

Inmates 10 – Pigs 3 (Baptist Bowl): The Inmates teed off on Joe Ross in the 1st, scoring seven runs highlighted by two-run taters by Cargo, Cespedes, and Altuve (who actually got three hits in the game!). Davies went the distance for the victory, and the Inmates got to save a few ABs with some players.

Logan Forsythe and Jarrett Parker homered for the Pigs. Joe Ross sucks.

Pigs 1 – NDMF 0 (10 innings - BallPork): Wainwright and company tossed a five-hit shutout for the second extra-inning win of the series for the Porkers. A great Inmate pitching performance was ruined by absolute hitting ineptitude.

Waino scattered 4 hits over 8 innings. Iglesias (6-1) got another win. The game winner was a double by Mitch Moreland to score the pinch runner Joe Ross, who sucks.

Pigs 5 – LDMF 3 (BallPork): Solo Inmate taters by Jones and Valbuena failed to mask another LDMF lack of offense, managing only six hits off of an ept (?!) Pig pen. Pineda took the well-deserved loss.

The Warpigs only had 8 hits themselves, but they all came in the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th innings. Starlin Castro homered.

Inmates 5 – Pigs 4 (BallPork): A close game, singularly unexciting, except the Beakless Chicken Gang pulled out a win (finally).

Joe Ross, who sucks, gave up 3 runs in the 1st and 2 more in the 4th. The Pigs tried to come back, scoring 2 in the 7th on a pinch hit triple by Andrew Toles, and 2 more in the 8th on a 2-run double by Yuli Gurriel. The Pigs got the tying run to third in the 9th but couldn't plate him.

Pigs 8 – LDMF 5 (Baptist Bowl): It looked closer than it was, thanks to a two-run homer by Martinez in the 9th. Otherwise, Davies took it for the team and pitched a CG, allowing five homers to a usually impotent Pig lineup. Fuckshit.

The Pig homers were by Chris Carter (2), J.T. Realmuto, Forsythe (who enjoyed Inmate pitching all day long), and Castro. The Castro homer was special - a called shot. Me: "I should probably bunt here even though he's a D-bunter, but I feel like it's time for him to roll 3-4 again." Bam! 3-4. The HEAD INMATE was not happy. And while that was pretty much true all day, called homers are apparently frowned upon.

Pigs 4 – LDMF 3 (15 innings – Baptist Bowl): The third extra-inning loss of the series for the Dickless Wonders. A Cargo two-run single in the bottom of the 9th raised the hopes of both Baptist Bowl faithful, only to be dashed by total incompetence for the rest of the game.

The Pigs' 3rd extra inning win of the day, but the first one on the road. Mallex Smith got the game-winning hit in the 15th, but the star of the game was Raisel Iglesias (7-1), who threw 6.1 innings of relief - the last 1.1 while fatigued - and struck out 10. An additional tip of the cap to Luis Severino, who, despite his Zit-worthy card, came on in relief of a tired Iglesias to get the red hot Anthony Rizzo for the final out to save the game.

Inmates 6 – Pigs 4 (Baptist Bowl): Sanchez hit a two-out pinch grand-slam in the Inmate 5th to end the scoring for the game. Segura hit a two-run shot in the 3rd, and the Inmates survived Manaea’s self-immolation attempt to salvage the series finale.

Joe Ross, who sucks, took his 3rd loss of the day, allowing all 6 runs. David Freese went 3-3 and Hunter Pence homered.

The Inmates outscored the Pigs on the day by 2, but the Pigs outhomered the Inmates by 1. I'm pretty sure without Joe Ross, who sucks, the Pigs could have gone 10-0. Ross lost 3 games, and his dugout presence was most likely responsible for the other one.

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