Mavs 4, Zaps 3

April 18^th:  Greinke against Buchholz.  A pitcher’s duel is broken up when Eggs Ackley and Bryce Harper go yard in the bottom of the seventh.  The Mavs hit a total of 4 games but the coveted Betty’s Brothel Blow of the Game goes to Eggs Ackley for the homer 1-9 chance on his own weak card.  Four Mav pitchers scatter four hits and the Zapper is heard to exclaim “Eggs Ackley??  C’mon.”  Mavs 6-0

April 19^th:  Mavs fans shudder as Jeremy Guthrie gets the nod to face Francisco Liriano.  It is a beautiful spring day and Ernie Banks is heard to say “Let’s play two.  Wait – Guthrie is going?  Someone get me a couple of beers and a racing form.”  In the first Miguel Cabrera chokes in the clutch as Hal says “who cares about your triple crown – that is just a bunch of hype.”  Predictably though the Zaps get to Guthrie for two taters.  Liriano scatters five hits in seven innings to win the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds (“You ring, we spring”) player of the game.  Zaps 4-1.

 

April 20^th:  Homer Allowed Bailey takes the hill against John Lackey.  Homer Bailey developed a blister and had to leave after five.  Garrett Richards came in to soak up some innings, followed by Robbie Ross.  Remarkably it was still a scoreless game despite the trifecta of batting practice pitchers used by the Mavs going into the bottom of the eighth.  The Mavs got two on but stranded them both as Zeigler shut the door.  The Mavs bring Holland in to pitch a perfect top of the ninth but strand another runner in scoring position in the bottom of the ninth.  After another perfect inning from Holland Hal brings in Bobby Parnell to pitch to the Mavs in the bottom of the tenth.  Who the hell is he?  Perfect inning from Parnell.  Followed by one last perfect inning from Holland and another perfect inning from Parnell.  The Mav fans are getting restless, beer sales were cut off four innings ago and the Mavs are bringing Doolittle in for the 12^th.  I know the card looks good but the results aren’t pretty.  Doolittle mows them down.  Fourth perfect inning in a row for the Mavs.  Hal brings Brett Cecil in to pitch.  Surely we can get to him.  Headly gets a two out single but can’t get the lead.  Elvis singles behind him.  That leaves Cecil facing Harper in the clutch.  Shudder.  The Mavs can pinch hit Barnes and hope that Hal doesn’t realize how unbalanced Barnes is.  No we’ll try the double steal.  Rats Hal won’t throw through.  OK we’ll pinch hit Barnes.  Hal stays with him and Cecil hits Barnes.  Now the bases are loaded for Country Breakfast.  Hal stays with Cecil and the roll is 2-11, not 2-10 and we go on to the 13^th.  The Zaps get their first base runner in ages.  And with runners on first and second Hal has Reyes hit and run with one out?  But they at least move up.  But Goldschmidt strands them.  The Mavs strand two more in the 13^th and we’re on to the 14^th.  Doolittle’s last inning.  The Zaps get two more hits and the Mavs bring in their last reliever, Justin Wilson.  But the Zaps can’t touch him.  On to the bottom of the 14^th.  The Mavs get a baserunner but he is thrown out on a 1-18 stealing second.  In the fifteenth the Zaps strand two more.  In the bottom of the seventeenth, Hal inexplicably brings Neal Cotts in to pitch to Brandon Barnes with Elvis on second and Barnes singles home the winning run.  It was a great game but there are some at bat and innings problems building.  Mavs 1-0

 

April 21^st:  Scherzer against Cain.  In a much less dramatic game the Zaps make three errors leading to two unearned runs which is about all the Mavs need as four Mav pitchers scatter six hits and the Mavs win 5-2.  Chris Davis wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game award with a three RBI performance.

July 11^th:  Hammels against Buchholz.  The vaunted Zap bats finally wake up.  Goldschmidt wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game with a double and a homer yielding three RBI’s.  Zaps win 7-3.

July 12^th:  Greinke against Gallardo.  Well I thought this was just going to be another Zap laugher but in the ninth it all falls apart for California’s favorite boy.  Here is how it went.  The Zaps leading 7-4.  Hal brings in Bobby Parnell.  Lucroy doubles.  The Mavs think about pinch-hitting for Heyward to save an at bat but don’t.  Heyward singles.  The Mavs pinch hit Kendrick for Eggs Ackley hoping for a 2-4 tater.  Get a 1-6 single instead.  Now we’re going to deal.  Hal brings in Cotts.  The Mavs bring in Gattis looking for the game winning homer.  Gattis fouls out but Andrus follows with a ballpark single.  Bases loaded and Mavs down two.  Pinch hit Barnes against Cotts hoping for lightning in the bottle again.  Fielder’s choice out at home.  Butler walks though.  So now the Mavs are down one with two outs, the bases loaded and Davis at the plate.  5-5 walk off Cotts game tied.  Hal brings in Kluber, Mavs counter pinch-hitting Soto.  Looking for the walk.  4-4.  Walk off single off of the pitcher’s card.  Mavs win 8-7

July 13^th:  Series finale has Liriano against, take a deep breath and say it, Guthrie.  It actually turns out to be a close well pitched game but in the ninth a Kendrick error opens up the door and the Zaps come from behind to win the game 4-3.  Chase Utley wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game with a 3-4 performance.  According to Hal manager Bob Marley emerged from the Mav locker room after a long while and said “Fellows, sorry I'm not in a very talkative mood tonight, as I think you'll understand.  I'm sure you'll find the banter a lot more light-hearted over in the TRISTAN locker room.”