Inmates and FFTs Trade

The Inmates traded Evan Gattis to the FFTs for a 7th round pick.

Tweeners 5, DVs 0

The DiamondVision summer of discontent continues as they make a late push for the #2 pick, while the Tweeners start their late season push for a playoff spot as the Tweeners take all 5 at the DV park.

No highlights to report, other than the usual pressbox chatter overheard about how the Tweeners could lose any games with King Felix and Prince Sonny on the hill.

DVs

FFTs and Inmates trade

The FFTs traded Wilson Ramos to the Inmates for a 9th round pick.

Sidewinders 3, Zaps 2

6/10 Snakes win 13-1 Cocktail!!

6/11 Zaps win 9-3 scoring 4 in the first off Cueto and 5 off Chapman/Kimbrel. Check please!!

8/17 Zaps win 4-3 in 12 innings

8/18 Snakes sweep the doubleheader. 6-2 and 5-1

Fungoes and DVs trade

The Fungoes traded Tom Koehler and Kyle Hendricks to the DVs for Dalton Pompey.

FFTs and Warpigs Trade

The FFTs traded Yoenis Cespedes, Mike Leake, and Jeff Samardzija to the Warpigs for Lance Lynn and Matt Wieters.

Tweeners 3, DVs 2

Tweeners take 3 of 5 from DVs to crawl back to .500.  CM games at the Hooverdome.  Bean-flicking encouraged, but optional.

6/26 – DVs 10, Tweeners 4.  MadBum gets spanked early and often, then Torres takes a turn assuming the position.  2 homers for Ramos, 3 homers for Kinsler.  W – Porcello.  Nellie Cruz pads his stats with homer #30.

6/27 – Tweeners 1, DVs 0.  Felix Hernandez took a no-hitter into the 8th inning and first baseman Adam

Lind had 3 base hits as the NORM TWEENERS won at The Hoover Dome in dramatic

fashion over the BRYAN DIAMONDVISION, the final score, 1 to 0.

 

The game was won by NORM with a run in the 9th inning.  George Springer

singled.  Nolan Arenado stepped into the batter's box and he stroked a

one-base hit, and an error was also committed.  Lind then smacked a single

making NORM victorious to the delight of the the home town crowd.  NORM

banged out 9 hits on the night. 

 

It was the 2nd shutout of the year for Hernandez(13-5).  The right-handed

Hernandez lost his chance for a no-hitter when J.J. Hardy singled with one

out in the 8th inning.  Yordano Ventura(2-5) was given the loss.  He was a

hard-luck loser as he did not allow an earned run in his 8 innings of work.

 

Hernandez was pleased with his performance.  He noted, 'I had good zip on my

pitches.  Just as important, my location was right on.  The fans really got

into the game too - that always helps me.  Now, if I can only do that again

in my next outing.'

9/1 – Tweeners 2, DVs 0.  DVs bats remain silent, despite expanded rosters.  MadBum gets his revenge over Porcello, S – Casilla.

9/2 – DVs 3, Tweeners 2.  Great game for the fans, too bad only 536 attended.  Right fielder Giancarlo Stanton had 3 base hits and 2 RBI at The Hoover Dome

as the BRYAN DIAMONDVISION beat the NORM TWEENERS by the count of 3 to

2.

 

Key at bat of the game: top of the 8^th, tied 1-1, 1^st& 3^rd, 1 out, tailor-made gbX to captain Ben Zobrist scoots by for a single.  Fuckin’ computer.  BRYAN scored the deciding run in the top of the 9th inning.  Matt Holliday

stroked a single.  Trevor Plouffe followed next and he delivered a base-hit.

Ian Kinsler then hit a deep fly.  Both teams finished the game with 6 hits.

 

Tommy Hunter(1-2) allowed no runs in 1/3 of an inning, and picked up the

victory. Hunter got help from Tyler Clippard who was credited with his 6th

save.  Dr. Kevin Quackenabush (3-3) took the loss in relief.

9/3 – Tweeners 4, DVs 0.  DVs bats return to the freezer as Felix stays hot.  Hernandez(14-5) was virtually untouchable.  He didn't allow much, just 5 hits

and 1 walk in 8 innings.  NORM rapped out 7 hits for the night. 

 

Drew Hutchison(3-1) suffered the loss.  The NORM fans were thrilled by the

performance put forth by Hernandez, but it was clearly his 13 strikeouts that

they enjoyed most. 'When he reached 10 strikeouts the fans showed him their

appreciation with a loud cheer.' George Brett said following the game.

Wahoos 7, Rhinos 3

Wahoos scratch out a 7 games 3 to victory in computer action with the Rhinos on Wednesday night. 

Nads 4, Killer Bees 1

BEES go 1-4 at NADS – NADS scored 23 runs to 13 by the BEES in the series

 

Jun 5 – NADS win 6-4 on a two run walk off home run by Matt Adams in

                Bottom of the 10^th inning

Jun 6 – NADS win 8-1. Santana gave up 3 home runs in 3 2/3 innings including

              Back to back dingers by Frazier and Gonzalez. Miley pitched a complete

              Game.

Aug 12 – BEES win 4-3 Alex Wood struck out 10 NADS for the win

Aug 13 -  NADS win 5-3.

Aug 14 – NADS win 2-1 M. Trumbo made it close with a homerun in the top

                 of the 9^th , the BEES came up short

Zaps 4, Mavs 3

May 26:  Fresh off a plane with three questionable bottles of shampoo, the Zaps arrive at the Rastadome and start Zack Grienke against Jason Hammel.  The Mavs take a look at Grienke’s card and ask the Zaps for some shampoo.  Justin Upton hits a 3-4 straight out homer in the bottom of the first with Heyward on first.  The Zaps reach into their bag for a Walmart Equate size shampoo bottle.  Marcel Ozuna hits a 2-8 homer 1-13 and the Zaps reach for a lighter and some tin foil.  Fear not Left Coast fans.  Hammel is on the mound.  Rendon hits a two run homer in the top of the third and a bit later Hammel walks in the tying run.  Russel Martin doubles in the lead run in the fifth.  Meanwhile Grienke has retired 600 hitters in a row because hey that card is good and we aren’t.  But Upton gets an X chart hit and Hal pulls Grienke for Al-Quaida’s number three man Abad but the Mavs can’t hit him either.  The Zaps tack on another run with a tater by Chase Utley and probably would have had more but Hal put the hit and run on with Joyce at the plate and runners on first and second and he lined into a double play on a ballpark single.  The Mavs get the tying run to second with two outs in the bottom of the ninth, put their Wong in (so to speak) and the Zaps counter with righty Ken Giles.  The Mavs counter with a righty Christian Vazquez just like you would in real baseball.  He smacks the game tying double and Upton follows with a 4-5 double.  For the record the only hit on Giles card.  Fortunately the Zaps had passed out long ago.  The Betty’s Brothel Blow of the Game goes to Vazquez.  Mavs 6-5 over the Zaps.

May 27^th:  The Zaps pit Francisco Liriano against Wily Coyote Peralta.  The Mavs draw first blood with an X chart double and error by Joyce scoring the batter.  But an Andrus error leads to a Bautista grand slam with two outs in the top of the third.  The Mavs scratch out two runs in the sixth thanks to the Zaps X chart riddled middle infield.  But Peralta allows a two run homer to Santana who has basically allowed two runs to score but is 4-4 with two RBI’s.  He makes an error in the seventh but gets his fifth hit in the eighth.  Defensive replacement Goldschmidt doubles and the Zaps tack on two more in the ninth.  No doubt about the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the game as Santana goes 5-5 and goes yard.  Zaps 8-3

May 28^th:  The Zaps start Corey Kluber and the Mavs start Clay Buchholtz.  The Fangraphs probability of a win for the Mavs stands at 0.03%.  The Mavs score a run on a sac fly by Crush Davis after a triple 1-3 fly but give it back  and then some with two errors (one by Crush who is standing at 0 currently on the FFT plus/minus system) – 3-1 after 3.  The Zaps tack on 3 more in the top of the 4^th as Fangraphs has now stopped even tracking the game.  I was talking to the Fungoes and DV’s about how great it would be to have a win probability tracker in real life  Let’s say you are talking to a cute girl – win probability 15% (well maybe when I was younger).  She asks “what do you do for fun?”  I answer “I play Strat-O-Matic – win probability 0.02%.  Corey Kluber goes nine and strikes out ten winning the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game as the Zaps win 7-3.

August 3^rd:  The Zaps send in Zack Grienke to face Trimble Tech and Bandito Motorcycle Gang alumnus Yovanni Gallardo.  Today’s game is brought to you by Liquor Mart.  Stop by after the game regardless of your in game consumption.  We’ve paid the cops to look elsewhere.  Liquor Mart “we pay the law so you don’t have to”.  The Zaps would be up by ten but Hal keeps getting people tossed out running the bases so it is 3-1 when the Mavs finally chase Grienke in the bottom of the seventh.  The Mavs made a valiant effort but left two on and only narrowed the score to 3-2.  The Zaps take advantage of another Elvis error, a Morse X-chart hit and push three insurance runs across.  Note to Mav management:  Infield defense matters.  Justin Upton hits his second homer of the game to cut the lead in half but Ozuna and Morse miss ballpark taters and that is pretty much it.  7-4 Zaps as the Mavs are clearly outclassed.  Reyes goes 2-4 with two runs scored and two driven in to win the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game.  And the Mav fans weave their way down to Liquor Mart.

August 4^th:  Francisco Liriano takes the hill against Jason Hammel.  It is Republican Presidential candidate night tonight.  We had to add extra seating down the far right side of the field to accommodate them all (and widen the entrance to the field to accommodate Donald Trump’s ego).  In the top of the first Corey Dickerson hits the 28^th homer allowed by Hammel in 148 innings.  Note to Mav management:  starting pitching matters.  Dickerson singles in another run in the top of the sixth.  Zaps up 2-0 but out of the blue Elvis draws a walk and Country Breakfast homers.  New ballgame and following a Lucroy walk, Liriano is pulled because he is tired despite having only allowed two hits.  ISIS leader Danny Faquar gives up a single to Upton.  Morse follows with a bases clearing double.  A catcher X single on 1e1 Lucroy chases Hammel but the Mavs pen comes through bringing up yet another blown save opportunity for Greg Holland in the ninth.  Despite a leadoff walk, Holland hangs on and the Mavs win 4-2.  The Betty’s Brothel Blow of the Game goes to Mike Morse for the game winning double.

August 5^th:  The Mavs ignore the warning signs and pitch Wily Peralta again and the Zaps counter with Corey Kluber.  Oh dear.  This cries out for a good give away.  It is Betty’s Brothel Bobblehead Night here at the ballpark.  No surprise with that give away the Republican Presidential candidates are back for another go at it.  Not surprisingly Wily Peralta gives up hits left and right but Corey Dickerson is thrown out twice trying to steal and a couple of well place LOMAX’s help the Mavs to a 5-3 lead through six.  Through seven the Zaps have had 15 baserunners, scored five and left four on base.  Meanwhile Hal sends Corey Kluber out to pitch the bottom of the seventh with an eleven hitter going.  Kluber mows the Mavs down.  Hal knows all.  Kendrick hits a homer 1-14 triple and gets the triple to lead off the bottom of the eighth.  Hit number twelve.  Hal sticks with Kluber.  Elvis botches a squeeze and of course Lucroy follows with a single.  Kluber makes it through the eighth despite allowing his thirteenth hit and you can throw in two walks as well as the game that neither team wants moves to the ninth and then the tenth.  Nick Castellanos lets a single through and Greg Holland takes another loss.  Zaps 6-5.  Cutch goes 3-5 with two homers and four RBI’s to win the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game.  Rat bastard.

August 6^th:  It is Scherzer against Odorizzi in a Z laden match up.  Neither pitcher is sharp as both give up a bunch of baserunners but the Mavs push a few more across and are up 5-2 heading to the top of the sixth – the Trojan prevention inning.  Free condoms for all fans if the Mavs can hold the Zaps scoreless.  Fittingly the Mavs bring in Jessica Hahn for the sixth.  Thanks a botched hit and run the Zaps fail to score despite two more walks by Hahn.  The Mavs score two insurance runs in the bottom of the sixth on a Rendon X swing and miss at 2B.  Hal leaves Scherzer in to pitch the bottom of the seventh working on a thirteen hitter.  He mows the Mavs down.  Hal knows all.  After two singles and a walk load the bases in the bottom of the eighth, Hal decides Scherzer is finally tired.  Fifteen hits and four walks allowed in seven innings.  The Mavs win 8-3.  The Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game goes to Jonathan Lucroy who went 2-5 including his 61^st double.

Nads 3, Sidewinders 2

SSWs go 2-3 at NADS – Game files and box scores attached

4/20 – NADS win 2-1 Fister gave up 4 hits in eight and a third;

     then Rondon and Sipp closed the door

4/21 – Bartol Colon pitches complete game and SSWs bats come alive

      10-2 Snakes win!

7/2 – NADS win 3-1 Miley allowed 1 run, 3 hits and 4 walks in 5 and 1/3,

     Broxton got the win with 2 2/3 shutout innings and Sipp got the save

7/3 – SSWs and NADS were tied 3-3 in the bottom of the 6^th when Aybar

     stunned the Snakes with a two run dinger. NADS win 5-3

7/4 – SSWs win 6-5 in 10 innings. The Snakes were leading 5-3 in the bottom

       of the 9^th – Vincent allowed 2 hits and a hit batter – NADS scored two.

      The Snakes scored 1 in the top of the 10^th and Kimrel shut the door

Mavs 5, Fungoes 5

The Fungoes and Mavs split ten on a hot Sunday morning in Texas.  Here is how good Mike Trout is.  I felt like we handled him well and the Fungoes felt like he had a bad series.  His OPS was .949 and he hit a homer every twelve at bats.  And we did handle him well.

Lucroy had 21 hits in 41 at bats and drew seven walks as the highlight for the Mavs.  The lowlight for both teams were the closers.  Papelbon blew his second save of the year and Holland blew his third this week.

But the highlight of the series without a doubt was Dyson stealing his way around to score a key run in a twelve inning Fungo win in game seven.  Brought back fond memories of my days with Vince Coleman.  This of course became the Fungo strategy from then on.  Luckily for them they kept failing to get a lead to steal third because they were pounding the Mav pitchers by then and won games 8, 9 and 10 going away.

DVs 8, Mavs 2

Mavs take advantage of spending a fine August evening in Tulsa with a visit to the DV household. The dogs were happy to have a new person to bother and interestingly the Mavs sat in the exact same chair and spot that the Warpigs did last fall when they took 8 of 10 from the DVs. However the results this time were just the opposite as the DVs won 8 of 10 in a rather unremarkable series as the losing team scored 1 run or less in 7 of the 10 games. It was even unremarkable enough that Betty’s Brothel has hinted at dropping their sponsorship. No word if Grumpy’s Bail Bonds will follow suit: “When your Wong’s out, we shout”.

Inmates 4, Killer Bees 1

All games at the Baptist Bowl via CM:

 

Inmates 8 – Bees 2: A close game got blown open in the Inmate 6^th when the Beakless Chicken Gang scored four, the big hit when HAL brought in Chamberlain to face Rizzo after Matsuzakakakaka intentionally walked JD Martinez. Joba’s first pitch was hit nine miles to put the game out of reach.

 

Bees 2 – Inmates 1: Pineda walked seven yet allowed only a single run. The Inmate 9^th was exciting, but the LDMF choked at every possible point to avoid the win. Marte walked with one out, then stole second after HAL brought in Familia to pitch. Vargas then pinch-hit for Martinez and hit the first pitch for a triple. All that was needed from Rizzo was a flyball to tie the game, but noooooooo, he hit into a 1-2 fielder’s choice. OK, all’s not lost (yet). Jones then singled Rizzo to second, and Reddick walked to load the bases. Woohoo! The game’s in the bag – not. LDMF poster boy Escobar fanned to end the game.

 

Inmates 8 – Bees 7 (10 Innings): The Kaopectate Loose Bowel Game of the Week. The Inmates took a 6-3 lead into the 9^th, only to have Tolleson on the hill in a mop-up roll. After allowing a lead-off single to Snider, Bonifacio fanned and Polanco hit into a force play when defensive replacement Segura couldn’t turn the DP. Still, two outs, a three-run lead – what could go wrong? Freeman reached on an x-chart single and error by Jose “Hooks” Altuve. Some intestinal rumbling begins…Santana then walked to load the bases. Uncontollable flatulence is occurring in the Inmate dugout…Granderson hit a grand salami (fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck) to give the Bees a 7-6 lead (shitshitshitshitshit). Bottom of the 9^th, two outs, Matsuzakakakaka on the mound, Altuve singled. HAL brings in Chamberlain the Diarhea King. Altuve stole second…high-pitched farting begins in the Bee dugout…Marte doubled on Joba’s first pitch. Feces is splattered all over the fucking place. Tie game. Move to the 10^th. Gyorko led off with a single, then promptly got tossed trying to steal. Simmons then singled…fowl (get it?) smelling emanations are creeping from both dugouts and the bleachers…but nothing happened (Here I sit, broken-hearted, paid my dime and only farted…). Inmate 10^th: Joba turned squishy from the start. Jones singled and went to second on Segura’s bunt. Vargas got walked to set up the DP, but…sound of toilet flushing on the mound…LDMF poster boy Escobar singled to end the game, going from shit-licking goat to hero.

 

Inmates 6 – Bees 4: Rosario, Altuve, and JD Martinez all tatered off of Minor’s batting T in the Inmate 5^th.  The Inmate bullpen did what they could to throw the game away, but the Bees ran out of time.

 

Inmates 9 – Bees 1: The Bees couldn’t generate offense or pitching, with Granderson (the Bastage) hitting a solo HR in the 4^th for the only run to come out of the hive.  Simon went the distance for the Beakless Chicken Gang. Martinez, Reddick, Rosario, and Rizzo all homered for the Inmates in a game that was never close.

 

The HEAD INMATE

Fungoes 3, Zaps 2

Zaps at Fungoes

June 26:

Fungoes score 6 in the 1st and 1 more in the 2nd and coast to a 7-2 win.  David Price (14-8) picks up the win while Cole Hamels collecst the complete game loss for the Zapper.  Trout and Hosmer both hit home runs for the home team.

June 27:

Zack Greinke tossed a complete game and second baseman Chase Utley jacked one

out of the ballyard at WTF where Zaps beat the Fungoes by the score of 5 to 4.  Kyle

Gibson (9-3) takes the loss for the Fungi.

September 1:

Full rosters, Corey Kluber complete game and a CRACK explosion of Zap bats spells

doom for the Fungoes as the Zappers win it 13-5.  Tom Koehler (3-6) earns the loss for 

the Fungoes.  This one really wasn't as close as the score indicates, Zap hitters mashed 

20 hits all off of Tom Koehler, who tossed a complete game.......OUCH!  Corey Dickerson  

went 5 for 6 at the plate while Russell Martin went 4 for 5 with a HR and 4 RBIs!   Altogether 

a game to forget for the Fungo faithful.

September 2:

Trout hit two HRs the last being a walkoff in the 9th as the Fungoes win it 7-6.  Max Scherzer

takes the complete game (8 2/3 inn) loss as through 4 games the Zaps haven't even warmed up

a reliever yet.  Kyle Gibson starts for the Fungoes but David Robertson (4-1)picks up the win in

relief.  Scherzers undoing tured out to be the long ball as Mookie Betts also hit a HR on a ballpark 

HR chance (which is the second time this season Fungoes have hit a BP HR at home).  Chase

Utley Homers for the Zaps!

September 3:

Fungoes break open a 2-2 tie with a 2 spot in the bottom of the 8th on a bases loaded walk followed

by a Danny Farquhar wild pitch to close out the scoring!  Cole Hamels takes the hard luck loss 

while Clayton Kershaw (13-7) scatters 3 hits through 8 innings.  Papelbon picks up his 36th save.

Killer Bees 3, Wahoos 2

Bees go 3-2 vs the Hoos at the Hive.  Hoos finish the series 7-3.  Nothing to report, I'm an unoriginal, lazy bastard.

Zaps 5, Killer Bees 0

That was a fuckin blast.  I love this game.  Zaps go 5-0 at the Hive.

Buckeyes and Fungoes Trade

The Buckeyes traded Ryan Howard to the Fungoes for an 8th round pick.

FFTs and Killer Bees Trade

The FFTs traded Dylan Bundy to the Killer Bees for a 10th round pick.

Zaps 5, Mavs 2

Game 1- Scherzer and the pen held the Mavs scoreless, and the Zaps used
four solo bombs, two from Cutch, to take the opener 4-0.
Game 2-The Mavs pound Hamels with Ozuna cracking an Earl Weaver special
on the way to a 9-2 victory to even the series.
Game 3-Buchholz gave up three first inning runs, that was enough for
Greinke and to triumph 5-2.
Game 4-Homer Bailey outdueled Jon Niese behind Nick Castellanos three
RBI night in a reverse of the game three score.
Game 5-The Mavs handed closer Greg Holland a two-hit whitewash in the
9th, but the Zaps mounted a two-out, three-hit rally in the 9th for a
2-1 win.
Game 6-The Mavs just could not hit with men on base and ended up
stranding eleven in a 4-2 defeat.
Game 7-Greinke and Peralta dueled until the Zaps got three singles in
the sixth to take a slim 2-1 lead that the bullpen held onto to get a W
in the finale.