Hey, You Guys Remind Me Of...

While watching the Patriots toying with their playoff opponents, it got me to thinking which of the Big 4 franchises are the most like the 16 NASOMA teams. And the result was this:

Dallas FFTs - Los Angeles Dodgers (of course) - There was a time several years ago when the Dodgers were regularly either the champs or competing for the title. Then they went quiet for a long while, but they're still a team to be reckoned with almost every year. Or as the FFTs might say, "Oh well certainly to that too as I will but also but you just do not screw up like I can." [That quote is an actual FFT text.]

Tulsa DVs - Tampa Bay Lightning - The Lightning and DVs both won one title, although no one remembers anything about either one. Also, neither team was heard from before their win. Or since.

Oklahoma Drillers - Detroit Pistons - Both won a couple of titles during a short, dominant period. Since then, they both start every season with high hopes before tanking for better draft position.

Disney Super Goofs - Detroit Lions - Matt Millen is the GM for both. Rumor has it the Lions were pretty good a long, long time ago. They were called the Oilers then.

Waco Inmates - Montreal Expos/Washington Nationals - Next year is always their year. Always. And it totally doesn't matter that they have no rings... next year is The Year of the Inmate!

Nashville Killer Bees - Dallas Mavericks - They won their one title. They've sucked balls ever since.

Stanley Sidewinders - New England Patriots - Completely and totally dominant right now. They perform on a different level than everybody else. Plus, their balls are deflated.

Belldale Rhinos - Colorado Rockies - All the promise. All the great, young prospects. All the empty shelf space waiting on trophies. At least the Rockies lost to the Red Sox in their one trip to the World Series. The Rhinos lost to the effin DVs. Oh, the indignity.

Mansfield Mavs - Orlando Magic - Both made the finals twice. Got swept both times. Okay, okay, I'm exaggerating. lol. The Magic won a game one of those years.

Chicago Nads - Cleveland Browns - Not the old Browns team that moved to Baltimore... the expansion Browns. The one now. The one that drafted Johnny Manziel. The one that had only ten men on the field fifteen times this year.

South Grand Prairie Wahoos - Indiana Pacers - The Pacers dominated the old ABA, but has had almost no success in the NBA. I'm not sure if that tells you more about the ABA or the NBA. The Wahoos have won 3 times in their other league. None in NASOMA. I'm not sure if that...

Hooterville Warpigs - New York Yankees - They've won the most titles, giving everyone one more reason to hate them even when the Pigstripes aren't good enough to win.

Logan County Tweeners - San Diego Chargers - The Chargers' overall W/L record for their franchise is within 3 games of being exactly .500. That sounds pretty Tweener.

Waxahachie Fungoes - San Antonio Spurs - They have won multiple times. They're always in contention. They often have the best players in the league. And when they beat you, it makes a fella say, "What the fuck?!?"

Mansfield Buckeyes - Montreal Canadiens - Once dominant, but it was awhile ago. In fact, the last time the Canadiens won, Bill Clinton had just been elected to his first term in the West Wing. The last time the Buckeyes won, Matt Santos had just been elected to his first term in "The West Wing."

Brantford Boll Weevils - Vegas Golden Knights - Not enough evidence to know how good they'll be. Plus, to write their team name, I still have to look it up to get it right.