Friday, September 30, 2016

Mavs 5, Tweeners 1

The Mavs and the Tweeners played six games via TeamViewer and the Internet did not break.  After an approximately 23 minute technical delay while the Mavs and Tweeners attempted to figure out how team viewer works, how not to ask Cortana to help and a massive manhunt for Norm’s microphone (missing in action as it turns out however the icon for it was there all night blocking the pitchers card from 6-9 through 6-12), the series got underway.
5/6 in the Rastadome with Sonny Gray facing off against Clay Buchholz.  Buchholz came into the game having given up 150 hits in 108 so many of the savvy Mav fans stayed with the tailgate party.  True to form Buchholz allowed 9 hits in six innings to take another loss.  Gray, Chafin and Smith combined to hold the Mavs to three hits as the Tweeners won 6-2.  Leadoff hitter Chris Colabello won the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game hitting a leadoff homer and going 2-4 with two runs scored and two RBI’s.  Carlos Correa made another error (27 now for those of you keeping score at home).
5/7 after a hard night celebrating down at Betty’s, the Tweeners returned bleary eyed with Robby Ray facing Yovanni Gallardo.  The badly hungover Tweeners (and haven’t we all seen that) were shut out by Gallardo and a quartet of Mav relievers.  Gallardo is now 15-2.  Go figure.  Maybe a reality star can be a president if Gallardo can go 15-2.  AWad wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game.  He only went 1-3 but he stole second and you have to give him something for that.
5/7 Unfortunately for the Tweeners, it was a double header  and the hangover persisted.  The Mavs bombed Shelby Miller for 16 runs (12 hits, four of them homers and 7walks) but Shelby did pitch a complete game as the Tweeners manager was too busy playing on-line slots to get to the mound.  Harper wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game with a double, two homers and seven RBI’s.  Mavs win 16-4.
6/17  The Mavs travel to the Hooverdome and Jessica Hahn took on Shelby Miller.  The Tweeners jumped out to a 3-1 lead powered primarily by a Jonathan Schoop home run.  In the top of the ninth with a large contingent of Mav fans on hand, the Mavs staged a rally.  Chris Davis doubled.  The Tweeners brought in Carson Smith’s shutdown card against righties to face AWad and Correa.  AWad doubled Davis home.  Tweeners lead now 3-2.  Correa homers.  Mavs take the lead 4-3 and the Mavs fan club president hands out complimentary Carlos Correa Condoms.  Unfortunately, just like his glove, they leak.  Jackie F. Bradley adds another run on a homer which turns out to be important because the Tweeners got a run in the bottom of the ninth on another Schoop homer.  5-4 Mavs.  Correa wins the Betty’s Brothel Blow of the Game.
6/18  Gallardo faces King Felix.  Gallardo gets tired in the fifth and leaves the game with the Mavs ahead.  Felix went seven innings but took the loss allowing nine hits and four runs.  Zach Cozart hit his second home run of the series which tied him with Arenado and Schoop for the team lead.  AWad (boo) had the big two run homer to put the Mavs on top but he sucks and he already won a Grumpy’s award so the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game goes to Jason Heyward who went 2-4 with a rare home run.  Mavs win 5-4. 
6/19  Cookie Carrasco against Sonny Gray.  This one was actually a fine pitchers duel.  Both starters went seven innings.  Cookie allowed five baserunners, no runs and struck out nine.  Sonny was almost as good allowing five hits, three walks and one run.  It was 1-1 heading to the top of the ninth after the Tweeners tied it the bottom of the eighth on a Colabello double.  In the top of the ninth, Valencia singled, Davis got on via HBP, AWad doubled in Valencia and Correa drove in the insurance run with a sac fly.  The Mavs hung on to win 3-1.  Cookie wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game because, once again, AWad sucks. 

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