Thursday, September 15, 2016

Inmates 6, Mavs 4

An odd series featuring lumbering oaf softball, clutch lousy fielding, and really bad pitching. Both teams homered in every game with the Inmates totaling 28 to the Mavs’ 17. Cargo torched the Mav pitching staff for ten (!!) homers in the ten games. Errors contributed directly to two of the Inmate wins, while the Mavs scored over 15% of their total runs because of Inmate blunders. Jeff Manship allowed more homers in an inning (two) than he’d allowed the entire previous MLB season; Matt Thornton allowed the same number of homers in an inning (two) as he’d allowed the previous MLB season.
Mavs 6 – Inmates 1 (Baptist Bowl): Only a Cargo solo tater in the 6th prevented a shutout. Gallardo and Company held the Punchless Chicken Gang to five hits, and were in total control from the get-go.
Inmates 10 – Mavs 9 (12 innings – Baptist Bowl): Both teams pulled on their softball jerseys and started the power barrage with four jacks each. A two-run tater off of Grimm, the Inmates’ eighth pitcher of the day, put the good guys down by a pair in the 12th. Correa to the rescue! After Suarez led off the last of the inning striking out, Cespedes hit a routine grounder to short for what should have been the second out. Alas! and Alack! Correa’s hooks touched the ball allowing Cespedes to be on base when Rizzo hit a 600-ft homer to tie the game. The wheels totally fell off of Strickland’s pitching card at this point, as he allowed a double, intentional walk, and another double to ice the game for the Mutant Barnyard Fowl.
Mavs 5 – Inmates 2 (Baptist Bowl): Taking a cue from Correa, Segura’s kick in the 6th allowed the Mavs to score four unearned runs. The LDMF were incapable of catching up.
Inmates 15 – Mavs 4 (Rastadome): UUUGGGLLLYYY game. Cargo hit a two-run HR in the 1st, a three-run jack in the 3rd, and a solo-shot in the 6th; the Inmates scored eight in the 3rd, with Martinez and Ramos adding two-run taters to go along with Cargo’s; and Pineda pitched a complete-game victory. Correa kicked another grounder, and the Mavs were humiliated, embarrassed, and generally suffered a buttock-pummeling.
Inmates 5 – Mavs 1 (Rastadome): Cargo followed his three-homer game with two more, and the Mavs looked as if they were suffering shell-shock.
Inmates 6 – Mavs 3 (Baptist Bowl): Despondency started to take hold of the Mav dugout. A three-run lead evaporated, with the final coffin nail being a JMart three-run HR in the 7th that gave the Beakless Chicken’s Minions the victory.
Inmates 4 – Mavs 3 (Baptist Bowl): Nursing a 3-2 lead in the 6th, the Inmates played small-ball for the first and only time of the series. Escobar-Jones-Ramos-Valbuena singled in succession with two outs to score a pair of runs and ensure the Inmate win.
Mavs 8 – Inmates 2 (Rastadome): The Revenge of the Mavs. Back in the friendly incense-filled confines of home, Mav bats awoke and blasted McHugh and friends for an easy win.
Inmates 6 – Mavs 5 (Rastadome): Inmates love Correa! With a seemingly safe 5-2 lead and a fully-stocked bullpen, the Mavs looked to win their second straight over a faltering Inmate team. But wait – Altuve led off the Inmate 9th with a grounder to short. Correa to the rescue again, as he kicked the ball into left field for the error. Suarez, pinch-hitting for Cargo after Britton was brought in to pitch to the Mav nemesis, hit the first pitch over the leftfield wall and into the cesspool behind the men’s barkless tree. Still, the Mavs led 5-4. Not to worry; Cespedes singled and Rizzo followed with a two-run shot to Mars. Britton was led away in a catatonic state muttering something unintelligible, AJ Ramos stumbled through the last of the 9th for a save, and the Mavs started to actually look forward to fighting the I-35 traffic for their return trip to the metroplex.
Mavs 6 – Inmates 4 (Rastadome): What goes around comes around. Holding a 3-2 lead into the 7th, Manship comes on to pitch for the seemingly easy hold and another Inmate win. Nope. Despite having allowed only one HR in 2015, two Mavs teed off and blasted round-trippers in what was to become a four-run inning to lead the Mavs to a series-ending win.

1 comment:

MavMan said...

Yes indeed the Inmates whupped us silly. At one point ARod looked over at CarGo and in a scene reminiscent of "When Harry Met Sally" (everyone is married so don't tell me you haven't seen it) said of CarGo "I'll have what he is having". So should the Mavs make the playoffs rest assured that our crack Russian lab team will have a CarGo cocktail brewed for the Mavs batters.