Wednesday, December 30, 2015

New Year's Eve Eve Mock Draft

Here's the first try at a Mock Draft for 2016. It's really too early - as probably half these guys won't even end up being in the first round, but it's fun to take a stab at it.

1. Buckeyes - Stephen Piscotty - Balanced, young, plays multiple positions. Which could be good, because the Buckeyes have holes everywhere except DH. Oops, no, sorry... there's a hole at DH, too.

2. Killer Bees - Kyle Schwarber - The Bees have more holes than the Buckeyes, but will still win 20 more games next year than the shriveled testicle gang. And finish his games 5 months later - but still on time.

3. Warpigs - Matt Duffy - Last year's infield is gone. 2b/ss have been replaced. Now 3b has.

4. Rhinos - Brendan Rodgers - The uncarded "future Tulowitzki" fits the Rhinos perfectly. When asked what direction the Rhinos were headed in 2016, Colonel Rhino said, "It's a hard decision. We'd have to win 40 more games than we're capable of to win our division, but we'd have to LOSE 40 more games than we're capable of to get the first pick from the Buckeyes.

5. DVs - Lance McCullers - The penny-pinching DVs will pull McCullers' dad's old jersey out of storage so they won't have to pay for new lettering.

6. Mavs - Jung-ho Kang - The Mavs were hoping for Duffy, but will settle for Kang. A new post-game award, the "Jung-ho Fan of the Game" is in the works. Everybody will want to be the Jung-ho.

7. Nads - Roberto Osuna - The Nads continue to get better and better and worse and worse all at the same time. Come on, Nadman! Make the playoffs this year! Go Nads!

8. Fungoes - Francisco Rodriguez - For the first time in a long while, the Fungoes don't need a shortstop. Good thing, since there aren't any available. KRod will love saving those 1-0 games for Kershaw, Harvey, and Price.

9. Drillers - Luis Severino - And five minutes later... "What? He doesn't have relief?!?"

10. Tweeners - Nick Hundley - The Tweeners are one of 3 teams in need of a catcher. There ain't much there, but Hundley is the best of the group.

11. SuperGoofs - Gerardo Parra - The Goofs had a lot of injuries and bad years last year. Parra may have to play LF and CF at the same time.

12. Zaps - Carson Smith - The Zaps have a better rotation than even the Snakes, but his bullpen needs help. The new Red Sox reliever is a step in the right direction.

13. Sidewinders - Michael Conforto - There's always that guy who should go early but slides to the Snakes.

14. Sidewinders - Jaime Garcia - The starting pitchers aren't as good as the ones in the '15 draft, and the Snakes suddenly need one. Garcia is the best of the high-inning ones available.

15. Sidewinders - A.J. Pierzynski - The Snakes have 3 straight picks here, and while it's gotta hurt taking a 53-year old catcher with one of them, at least it's the third one.

16. Wahoos - Steven Matz - The Wahoos plan to start Arrieta once every three games. Somebody has to start the other 2.

No comments: