Drillers 5, Skyscrapers 2

Drillers 5 Kluber 2

April 10 Scrappers win 4-2

April 11 Drillers win 6-3

April 12 Drillers win 6-0

             Drillers win 6-4

Sept 11 Drillers 7-5

Sept 12 Drillers 13-3

Sept 14 Scrappers 8-3

All but game 1 EQA'd CM-v-CM

Goofs and Pigs Trade

The SuperGoofs traded Joe Mauer to the Warpigs for Yuli Gurriel and Kendall Graveman.

Buckeyes and Warpigs Trade

The Buckeyes traded Matt Bowman to the Warpigs for Garrett Richards.

DVs 6, Wahoos 5

After taking 4 of the first 5 between the Wahoos and DVs, the Wahoos seemed to let their guard down and proceeded to lose 5 of the next 6.

Highlights of the day include:

Edwin Encarnacion hit 7 homers (4 in the first 2 games) and hit .366 with 15 RBI. 

Sean Rodriguez hit .412 with 6 homers and 10 RBI.

In 39 at-bats, Khris Davis hit 4 homers and drove in only 4 runs.

Zach Britton threw 11 scoreless innings.

Brian McCann, Mike Moustakas and Ryan Braun each hit 4 homers.

Mavs 6, Inmates 4

Via TeamViewer:

Inmates 19 – Mavs 2 (Baptist Bowl): Holy Shit, Batman! The Inmates had innings of seven and eight runs, hit four taters (including a grand-slammer by Castro) and had excellent pitching. The Mavs garnered four hits and had shitty pitching. All-in-all, a portent of things to come in a wacky and bizarre series.

Mavs 10 – Inmates 0 (Baptist Bowl): The LDMF made a return to the friendly confines, with crappy pitching by Davies and a total lack of offense. C. Martinez and the Mav bullpen combined on a five-hit shutout. Davis homered twice; only Upton of the Mav starters failed to get a hit.

Inmates 3 – Mavs 0 (Juan Gonzalez Field): A pitchers’ duel (!!), with the Mavs gaining only two hits as the Inmates returned the shutout favor. Hector Sanchez hit a pinch homer, but otherwise not too much happened.

Mavs 3 – Inmates 2 (Juan Gonzalez Field): The Mavs jumped out to a 3-0 lead after three, then hung on as the lack of offense by both teams continued. Bush earned the save despite allowing a 612-foot homer to Cespedes in the top of the 9^th.

Inmates 10 – Mavs 0 (Juan Gonzalez Field): Quintana pitched a no-hitter into the 8^th and the Inmates pounded Odorizzi for the third shutout in five games between the two teams. The only Mav hit came when Gyorko hit a 5-8 off of Quintana’s card (he missed the 1-18 double and settled for a single). Four Mav errors compounded the misery.

Mavs 6 – Inmates 1 (Baptist Bowl): Holding a 1-0 lead into the 5^th, Manaea ran out of innings and hit the floor. After the Inmate Arson Squad took over all hell broke loose - the Inmates stopped hitting, and rolled over to play dead. C. Martinez earned the W for the Mavs.

Mavs 7 – Inmates 6 (13 innings – Baptist Bowl): In a game where Inmate starter Gray hit the floor at the end of the third inning, both teams decided this would be the perfect time to have an extra-inning marathon to drain the bullpens and try to run out of ABs and IPs. Compounding the “duh-ness,” the Mavs’ winning scored in the 13^th on a Gyorko double-play ball.

Inmates 8 – Mavs 7 (Baptist Bowl): The wind was blowing out at gale-force strength, giving most of the 90 Inmate attendees a souvenir baseball. The Inmates hit three homers on the day, while the Mavs managed SEVEN solo shots. An impressive, if futile, power display in a game that was to be the last Inmate regular-season victory. Quintana won his 19^th of the year despite allowing four bombs.

Mavs 7 – Inmates 1 (Juan Gonzalez Field): Can you say roll-over and surrender? The Mavs totally out-pitched and out-hit the LDMF. ‘Nuff said.

Mavs 2 – Inmates 1 (Juan Gonzalez Field): Quintana, in a bid for his 20^th win, held the Mavs scoreless through six when he ran out of innings and left the game leading 1-0. Never fear, Mav fans. AJ Ramos allowed two runs on two hits and a walk in 1/3 inning for a stellar Blown Save/Loss/Eat Me stat line.

Skyscrapers 3, Tweeners 2

Games played @NY via CM.

Game 1 - Tweeners win 3-1. Blake Treinen gets Machado and Kipnis out with the bases loaded in the 9th.
Game 2 - Skyscrapers win 10-0. Max Scherzer dominates.
Game 3 - Tweeners win 3-1. Treinen does it again in the 9th.
Game 4 - Skyscrapers win 3-2.
Game 5 - Skyscrapers win 2-1.

Warpigs and Nads Trade

The Pigs traded Starlin Castro to the Nads for the return of the Warpig 5th rounder.

Skyscrapers 4, Killer Bees 1

All games played at New York.

Game 1 - Scrapers win 7-4
Game 2 - Scrapers win 5-4 in the bottom of the 9th.
Game 3 - Bees win 10-4
Game 4 - Scrapers win 6-1 behind Kluber.
Game 5 - Scrapers win 2-0. Scherzer took a no hitter into the 9th inning, but Benintendi pinch hit a single to lead off the inning.

Killer Bees 3, Nads 2

All games played at The BeeHive.

Game 1 - Bees win 5-2
Game 2 - Nads win 11-6
Game 3 - Bees win 10-3
Game 4 - Bees win 7-4
Game 5 - Nads win 8-2. Vance Worley took a no-hitter in the 7th inning (and his last inning of the year). Fortunately for everyone, he gave up back-to-back solo homers to start the 7th.

Skyscrapers 2, Wahoos 0

Kluber and Scherzer proved to be way too much for the Wahoos. Game 1, 4-2 Scrapers win. Game 2, 5-3 on the strength of a grand slam from Chris Ianetta. 

The Playoff Picture

The playoff picture is close to being set.

There are two playoff spots left to be determined, and both should be cleared up this weekend.

In the HWD, both the Rhinos and Inmates have clinched playoff berths. The Rhinos are in the clubhouse with 98 wins. The Inmates have 94 wins with 10 to play against the Mavs. Those 10 games are scheduled for TeamViewer for tomorrow morning. The Inmates can clinch a division tie with 4 wins, clinch the division championship with 5 wins, and grab their first ever 100-win season with 6 wins. And although this much isn't set in stone, the two HWD front runners will probably be seeded #3 and #5 - so they will avoid each other in the playoffs (unless they both reach the World Series).

The Inmate/Mav match-up is also of major importance to another HWD member, the Fungoes. The final wild card spot will belong to either the Fungoes or the Mavs. The Mavs will have to win 7 of the 10 games just to tie the Fungoes at 90 wins. They would earn the wild card outright with an 8-2.

The other playoff spot goes to the winner of the BUD. The Wahoos hold a big lead over the DVs, and they play their final 11 games against each other tomorrow via TeamViewer. The Wahoos have 2 games to clear up today against the Skyscraper CM. Since the DVs and Wahoos are playing each other, most likely neither can make the playoffs as a wild card (although it is possible), and at least 1 of them will finish ahead of the FFTs, eliminating them. The BUD winner will be the #4 seed.

In other news, the Buckeyes have clinched the #1 seed. The Sidewinders have 14 left against the Bees, and while he hasn't clinched the #2 seed and a bye, he's playing the Bees... so, yeah... he's clinched the bye.

Mavs 5, Skyscrapers 2

The Mavs bus of strippers, coaches and players rolled in to Gotham City to play the skyscrapers via CM.   Return with us first to those halcyon days of the spring of 2017 when it looked like 2018 would be a great year for the Mavs; long before Yahoo sent a daily message saying “there are issues with your fantasy baseball roster”.  The strippers wore better make up then although that is a waste because no one looks at their faces anyway.

 

4/16:  Odorizzi  vs.Cole Hamels.  Throwing out the first pitch is the First Lady of the United States here on Mail Order Bride night in Gotham.  Unfortunately with the First Lady here security was increased so this game is being played in front of Secret Service and the First Lady and the bobble heads of the shapely Russian woman will go undistributed.  Justin Upton starts the scoring with a 1-13 homer in the top of the fourth.  A bit confused the First Lady was heard to shout “Goooooaaaaaalllll”.  Through six the score was 1-0 with both teams squandering many chances when in the top of the seventh Chris Davis hit his 37^th homerun to give the Mavs a 2-0 lead.  The First Lady didn’t even look up from the eBay selection of toupees she was perusing.  In the bottom of the eighth Carlos Hernandez hit a triple to drive in one and Ellsbury followed with a double to tie it.  A Machado single gave the Scrapers a lead and a Jose Bootista double finished the Mavs off.  Scrapers win 4-2.  Hernandez wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game going 3-4 with the Game Winning Hit (although that isn’t a stat anymore).

 

4/17:  Hammel vs. long time transvestite Kevin Gausman.  It is Village People day here in Gotham.  I can’t begin to describe the bobble head.  Hammel gives up three in the bottom of the first because he sucks which is appropriate on this night.  Chris Davis hits his 38^th with a man on in the top of the second.  Jedd Gyorko hits his 28^th with a man on in the top off the fifth and the Mavs tack on two more including a rare play where Jackie Bradley rounded first too far on a hit.  Third time this year.  I suppose that is kind of rare.  Mavs up 6-3.  In the top of the sixth Harper hits his 24^th with a man on.  8-3 Mavs.  In the top of the seventh the Mavs put Wong in and you should hear the cheers from the Gotham fans.  He doubles but the Mavs leave him hanging.  Mavs win 8-3 and Harper wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game going 3-5 with a homer, two runs scored and 2 driven in.

 

4/18:  Hellickson vs. Grienke in a game that the Mavs will likely just mail in.  Oh the humanity.  The Scrapers open the scoring stringing two hits and a grounder in to a run.  The Mavs get one back but Hellickson allows three right back and it is Scrapers 4-1 after three and the Mavs have their fingers hovering over EQA because there is only so many Hellickson starts that a sober man can watch.  Throwing caution to the wind the Mavs continue on a batter at a time and are rewarded with three consecutive innings where they hit in to double plays.  But wait, in the immortal words of Slim Pickens “what in the wide, wide world of sports is a-going on here”, the Mavs take the lead on a HBP, x-chart hit and Chris Davis homer in the top of the eighth.  Davis making a bid for the Betty’s Brothel Blow of the Game hit another straight out off of his card vs. Ryan Dull with two outs.  This would be exciting except I’ve seen the Mavs bullpen in action too many times.  But Strop works around two walks in the eighth and the Mavs take a lead in to the ninth and the Mavs survive forgetting to get Castellanos off the field with a lead in the ninth.  5-4 Mavs.  Davis indeed wins the Betty’s Brothel Blow of the Game.

 

4/19:  Tsunami Martinez vs. Klubot.  Yikes!  Thank goodness only the strippers and girlfriends are allowed to travel with the Mavs.  The wives and children shouldn’t see this.  Through five neither team can score.  Heck the Mavs can’t even get a hit.  In the sixth, Wong and Harper get hits and Correa doubles them both home and a two out single tacks on a run.  In the seventh Wong and Harper get hits again and Jackie F. Bradley singles home one more.  4-0 Mavs.   An error by Martinez gives the Scrapers a run in the eighth.  Carlos Correa hits his 20^th homer with a man on in the ninth.  Mavs lead 6-1 in the ninth.  A hit, walk and two errors later and Goldy is at the plate as the tying run against Matt Bush.  Ballpark homer 1-5 off Goldy’s card and he gets it.  Tie game.  In the top of the eleventh, defensive replacement at third Jedd Gyorko hits a 3-6 homer off of Broxton.  And this time the Mavs catch the ball.  Mavs win 7-6.  Carlos Correa wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game going 2-4 and driving in four.

 

4/20:  In game five of the four game series it is Cotton vs. Scherzer.  Brad Miller hits his 25^th homer in the second and the Mavs lead 2-0.  Castellanos adds a ballpark tater and it is 4-0 going to the bottom of the seventh.  Lucroy doubles in one more in the eighth.  Cotton throws a five hitter, walking one and striking out seven winning the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game.  5-0 Mavs.

 

9/18:  In a game sponsored wholly by Betty’s Brothel everyone is eligible (the slogan down at Betty’s) and the starters are Tsunami and Klubot.  Correa hits a two run homer bringing in Wong (another slogan at Betty’s) to start the scoring in the third.  A single and stolen base by Correa followed by a Jackie F. Bradley two out single give the Mavs a 3-0 lead going to the bottom of the fifth.  Meanwhile through six the Scrapers do not have a hit.  In the seventh with two out Kipnis lines a solid single and the Gotham fans don’t even clap.  Eastern elitist bastards.  Chris Davis hits another straight out homer off his card and the Mavs lead 4-0.  Lucroy singles and still Kluber soldiers on – Hal is a sadist.  Paul Goldschmidt hits a three run homer off of Martinez in the ninth chasing him.  The Mavs use three different pitchers to get the last three outs but hang on to win 4-3.  Correa goes three for five with two more extra base hits to win the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game.

 

9/19:  Cookie Carrasco against Max Scherzer in the final game on Nyquil Night.  Kids enjoy the free samples.  Carlos Correa continues his hot hitting with a two run homer in the top of the first.  When will one of these Scraper aces pitch like an ace?  A two out single by Kipnis after a run had already scored gives the Scrapers a 3-2 lead in the bottom of the third.  A Rendon homer in the fourth gives the Scrapers a 4-2 lead and this is beginning to look more like what I expected coming in to this series.  Brad Miller hits a homer 1-3 to bring the Mavs to within one heading in to the bottom of the sixth.  A 6-5 Harper homer ties it in the top of the seventh.  A 3-6 homer by Jackie F. Bradley gives the Mavs the lead.  Once again “what in the wide, wide world of sports is a-going on here”.  And why doesn’t Hal go to that awesome Scrapers bullpen?  I guess because he knows Dickerson is going to hit a two out two run homer in the bottom of the eighth to give the Scrapers the lead.  Hal is a cruel fascist bastard.  Scherzer throws a complete game winning 6-5 and Dickerson wins the Betty’s Brothel Blow of the Game.

Rhinos 7, Drillers 3

Rhinos 2 Drillers 1 5/15/2017

The Rhinos and the Drillers locked up in an exciting one-run game at Driller Park.  The final score was the Rhinos 2 the Drillers 1. The Rhinos winning run came across in the 7th inning.  The Drillers went down quietly in the bottom of the 9th. 

Rhinos 9 Drillers 2 5/16/2017

Votto enjoyed a big day at the plate he had 4 hits and 4 RBI as the Rhinos defeated the Drillers by the score of 9 to 2 at Driller Park. The Rhinos out-hit the Driller 15 hits to 7.

Rhinos 13 Drillers 3 6/27/2017

Kris Bryant had a great day at the plate.  Bryant hit 3 homeruns and had 8 RBI as the Rhinos beat the Drillers, 13 to 3. Trevor Story and Adam Duvall also homered for the Rhinos.

Drillers 4 Rhinos 1 6/28/2017

Michael Fullmer goes 7 innings limiting the Rhinos to 1 run and 3 hits as he picks up the win.

Rhinos 4 Drillers 1 6/29/2017

Wil Myers had 2 base hits and 2 RBI as the Rhinos outscored the Drillers 4 to 1. The Drillers lost it in the 5th inning when the Rhinos did all their damage as they scored 4 runs on 5 base hits.  The critical plate appearance was by Myers who laced a one-base hit bringing home two runs.

Rhinos 6 Drillers 2 7/23/2017

Kris Bryant launched 2 homeruns and had 4 RBI as the Rhinos bested the Drillers 6 to 2 at Driller Park. The Rhinos out hit the Drillers 13 to 7.

Drillers 3 Rhinos 2 7/24/2017

The Drillers edged the Rhinos at Driller Park by the score of 3 to 2. Colby Lewis pitched a solid game. He allowed 2 hits and 2 walks in 6 and 2/3 innings The Rhinos had a chance in the 9th but they came up short as the wind was blowing in at Driller Park, with Kemp pinch hitting he launched what appeared to be the tying run but missed the 1-8 ball park homerun chance. 

Drillers 3 Rhinos 1 7/25/2017

Taijuan Walker allowed 1 run in 5 innings, and picked up the victory. Lorenzen earned the save.  Chris Archer pitched a complete game and was the loser despite striking out 11 batters in 8 innings. The difference in the game was Charlie Blackmon’s 2 run homerun in the 5^th inning.

Rhinos 8 Driller 3 9/3/2017

Wilmer Flores blasted a homerun and had 3 RBI as the Rhinos defeated the Drillers by the score of 8 to 3 at The Rhino Preserve.

Rhinos 4 Drillers 2 9/4/2017

Bruce Maxwell had 3 base hits and 2 RBI as the Rhinos beat the Drillers by a score of 4 to 2. Edwin Diaz pitched well in relief and was credited with the victory.  He didn't allow much, just 2 hits and 2 walks in 4 and 2/3 innings and recorded 7 strikeouts.

Tweeners 1, Skyscrapers 1

Not much suspense in either game as Tweeners wrap up their home schedule.

8/26 - Scrapers rock Kuma for an 8-1 victory.  2 homers for Dickerson, 1 for Kipnis, each drive in 3.  W - Gausman, S - Giles.

8/27 - Tweeners build a 9-1 lead, Scrapers late rally fizzles, 9-5 final.  Of our 9 hits, Tweeners have 3 doubles, 3 triples, and 2 homers (Schoop and Cozart).  W - MadBum, L - Bundy.

Nads 3, Drillers 2

DRILLERS go 2-3 at NADS

6\24 - Right fielder Max Kepler went yard and had 2 RBI as the Oklahoma Drillers

bested the league door-mat Chicago Nads 9 to 5 at The Ball Sack.

6\25- In an entertaining game at The Ball Sack the final score was the Oklahoma

Drillers 4, the league door-mat Chicago Nads 1.

6\26 - Aledmys Diaz hit a homerun and had 4 RBI as the Chicago Nads defeated the

Oklahoma Drillers 10 to 5 at The Ball Sack.

9\1 - The Chicago Nads cruised to a 8 to 3 victory over the Oklahoma Drillers at The

Ball Sack.

9\2 - One run was the difference at The Ball Sack as the Chicago Nads defeated the

Oklahoma Drillers in 11 innings 4 to 3.The game was deadlocked at 2 after nine full innings.  Finally, Chicago pulled the game out in the 11th inning.  Adrian Gonzalez lined a one-base hit.

Tyler White was the next batter, but he struck out.  After another out, Carlos Perez then delivered a base-hit resulting in an exciting win for Chicago and a raucous post-game celebration by the home town fans.  Despite losing, Oklahoma out-hit Chicago 15 to 10.

Wahoos 4, Fungoes 1

Details to follow.

With this series - and with the Wahoos and DVs having 11 head-to-head games left, the FFTs have been eliminated from post season contention.

Wahoos 3, Skyscrapers 1

Details to follow.

Skyscrapers 2, Fungoes 1

Fungoes and Skyscrapers finish up their season with 3 games via pc manager.  All games played by Fungoman.

July 26 at New York:

Fungoes score first with 2 in the 2nd inning to take a 2-0 lead.  Scrapers scrape a run in the bottom half when Bat flipper 

doubles in a run.  Bautista is later erased at the plate to end the inning.  Skyscrapers tie it up in the bottom of the 6th 

with a beautiful squeeze bunt.  Rendon breaks open the tie with a lead off homer for the home team in the bottom half 

of the 8th.  Scrapers proceed to pour it on scoring 5 more runs and winning it going away 8-2.  Steve Cishek gets the 

win in relief while Joe Musgrove finishes his season with a loss for the Fungoes.

July 27 at NY:

Scrapers get to Price early racing out to a 4-1 lead after 1 inning.  Fungoes still trailing 6-3 into the 9th when the fireworks

go off early!  Fungoes tie it up on a 2 out Carlos Beltran double plating 2 runs.  Extra innings is a very BAD option for the 

Fungoes but here we go.  Top of the 10th Fungoes leave em loaded while in the bottom half of the 10th Jason Kipnis hits a 

lead off, walk off homer!!!  NY wins it 7-6.  Steve Cishek picks up the win in relief while David Robertson is tagged with his first 

loss of the season falling to 9-1.

September 7 at WTF:

Bundy is hit hard in this one lasting only 3 2/3 innings.  Fungoes take a 8-3 lead into the 9th inning.  Harris has to come on 

and nail down his 28th save for the Fungoes.  Straily takes the win improving to 10-11 on the season.  Bundy takes the loss.  

With 2 out in the bottom half of the 4th and the Fungoes up 4-3, disaster struck the scrapers when Greg Garcia hit a CFx 

chance to Jacoby Ellsbury.  Ellsbury, a CF 2e4 gives up a double and commits a 2 base error allowing Garcia to circle the 

bases.  Fungoes now up 5-3 add two more unearned runs in the inning building the lead to 7-3.  

Fungoes now at 89-68.

Extra Reserve Contest Update

The Contest numbers have been updated. The Mavs have pretty much wrapped it up.

All of us (even the Mavs) were hurt by injuries or a sudden fall from grace by certain players. Here are some picks that didn't click...

Homers:
Chris Carter, 8 (You had to see this coming, right? The Goofs and Tweeners didn't.)
Miguel Cabrera, 16 (Age finally caught up with Miggy, I guess. It sucks to get old.)
Matt Kemp, 19 (Wishful thinking - and that's me being kind.)

RBI:
Miguel Cabrera, 60 (In for a penny, in for a pound.)
Carlos Correa, 68; Kris Bryant and Josh Donaldson, 65; Mike Trout, 63 (Injuries led to missed games and lower numbers from some of the game's best.)
Matt Kemp, 63 (Umm... was he even injured? No? Just... not all that good. Okay, I see.)

Steals:
Travis Jankowski, 2 (In fairness, he did steal 30 last year. This season, however, he was sent down in April and never heard from again.)
Starling Marte, 16 (16 steals isn't terrible, unless you took him over Dee Gordon, like the Snakes did; or over Billy Hamilton, like the DVs did. Doh!)

Wins:
Madison Bumgarner, 3 (A dirt bike accident?!? Seriously?!? What a maroon!)
Noah Syndergaard and Aaron Sanchez, 1 (Both chosen by the Rhinos - and both ARE Rhinos. Ugh)
Felix Hernandez, 5 (The king is dead. Not like, you know, Jose Fernandez dead, but... you know... hurt. Shoulder bursitis. Twice.)

Saves:
Jeurys Familia, 3 (Three of us took this bum. And it's like the link that says, "Check out these hot 60+ year old women!"... you gotta ask yourself... Why?)
Francisco Rodriguez, 7 (Released by the Tigers because of his "inability to get hitters out." Signed later by the Nationals who were looking for "lightning in a bottle," but found only an ounce of Mickey's Fine Malt Liquor and a handful of cigarette butts. And yet, turns out he was still a better pick than Familia.)
Mark Melancon, 11 (Injuries and a certain level of suckability he brought to SF did him in. But yes, he was still a better pick than Familia.)
Sam Dyson, 13 (This is how bad the Familia pick was... SAM DYSON WAS A BETTER PICK!)

Innings Pitched:
Aaron Sanchez, 36 (Missed the season because of blisters on his fingers? Pussy.)
MadBum, 96 (Missed most of the season because he's an idiot.)

DVs 3, Tweeners 0

DVs sweep Tweeners to keep alive their razor slim playoff chances. Tweeners enhance their usual prime drafting slot.

The only particularly interesting game was game 2 as DVs have to go to the bullpen in the 3^rd inning to stay close and pull out a 4-3 win in 11 innings. Otherwise both teams played to their general season form as DVs win the other games 3-0 and 4-1.