You're the One!

As far as I can tell, there were 49 1's given this year (pitchers excluded). That's 44 different players, 40 of whom are already on teams in NASOMA. Mike Trout of the Fungoes and Ben Revere of the Nads received 1's in all three outfield spots. Hard to believe that the Drillers got a 1 at 3b and it WASN'T Longoria. Ditto with the Rhinos at ss (it wasn't Tulo) and cf (not Kemp).

This is how they break down...

Warpigs (7) - c, 1b, 2b, ss(2), cf(2)
Inmates (5) - 1b, 2b, 3b, lf, cf
Rhinos (5) - 1b, 2b, ss, lf, cf
Mavs (4) - 1b, ss, cf, rf
Drillers (3) - 3b, cf, rf
FFTs (2) - c, ss
Fungoes (2) - c, of
Nads (2) - 1b, of
Sidewinders (2) - 2b, cf
Wahoos (2) - 2b, rf
Goofs (2) - 2b, rf
Bees (2) - lf, cf
DVs (1) - ss
Zaps (1) - cf
Tweeners and Buckeyes did not have any 1's.

There were 4 players receiving 1's who will be in the draft:
Adam LaRoche, 1b
Freddy Galvis, 2b
Andrelton Simmons, ss (Really? With all the young ss's taken last year in the draft, and nobody took this guy?)
Gregor Blanco, lf/rf

Trades

They are repaving our alley and have been for a week. In the process, they have cut our AT&T U-verse WiFi twice. If I have failed to get your trade posted this week, that's why. Email me and remind me.

These two trades were made this week:

The Wahoos traded Nick Swisher, Justin Masterson, Trevor Bauer, a reserve spot, and pick 74 to the FFTs for Anibal Sanchez, pick 20, and pick 67.

The FFTs also traded Freddie Freeman back to the Warpigs for Jesus Montero.

League Leaders

Individual hitting and pitching leaders are posted on the main page of our website. Just scroll down.

Warpigs and Rhinos trade

The Warpigs traded Blake Beavan to the Rhinos for Nate Schierholtz.

Things I (the DVs) learned at this year's playoffs...

Check out the clown in the middle

1. The Rhinos have very durable glasses – however he might want to consider contacts (and throwing your hat on the floor is much more convenient)

2. The Tweeners could consider a second career as an opera singer – or at least a backup gig at Silver Dollar City

3. I really love my dogs – but the Fungoes REALLY REALLY love their dogs – getting up at 3AM to feed them ? Wow.

4. It takes much longer to unpucker your sphincter after navigating the Rhino lineup than it does to pucker it when they roll on those cards

5. “#” readings on the fielding chart are a Godsend

6. Whenever there are more than 2 NASOMA managers together, there will be trade talk

7. As a statistician, the Nads are a tremendous musician

 

8. The Tweeners can pose for a photo shoot with the best of 'em.

An even better Tweener pose

Buckeyes and FFTs Trade

The Buckeyes traded Hunter Pence to the FFTs for David Ross and Edinson Volquez.

Buckeyes and Wahoos Trade

The Wahoos traded Ricky Nolasco, Devin Mesoraco, and pick 115 to the Buckeyes for Wilson Betemit and a 2014 5th round pick.

World Series - Rhinos vs DVs

The 2012 NASOMA World Series features two teams looking for their first Higdon Award. The Series opens at Propeller Park.

Game 1 @ Propeller Park- Rhinos win 8-3. The Rhinos never trailed. Joey Votto homered twice. Tim Hudson got the win.

Game 2 @ Propeller Park - DVs win 6-4. Allen Craig, Aramis Ramirez, and Brian McCann all homer for the DVs, but it took a missed 1-10 homer by Ryan Braun in the 7th to get the win for the DVs.

Game 3 @ The Rhino Preservation - Rhinos win 1-0. With two amazing sets of hitters on both clubs - and playing in a hitter's park, the chances of a 1-0 game were almost non-existent. And yet... an 8th inning homer by Troy Tulowitzki provided the only run of the game. Earlier, J.J. Hardy missed a 1-15 ballpark homer chance with two men on. Just before the 20-sided roll, Colonel Rhino called out from across the table, "Roll the 20!" And of course, he did. Or, as the DVs said, "What do you expect from an ex-Mav?"

Game 4 @ The Rhino Preservation - DVs win 10-6. The Rhinos jumped out early with a 1st inning grand slam by Alex Rodriguez, but the DVs did the DV grind, inching their way back into the game. The go ahead runs scored in an exciting/frustrating 6th inning. The DVs loaded the bases on 3 walks. The Rhinos brought in Axford to face Granderson, and the DVs countered with Jesus Montero. Montero rolled a 2b-x. Cano is a 1, but with the infield in, the roll resulted in a 2-run single to put the DVs ahead. After another walk to re-load the bases, the DVs rolled 1b-x. Votto is also a 1, but again the infield was in and again the ball zipped past him for another 2-run single. Pandemonium ensued. J.J. Hardy, the ex-Mav, hit a 2-run dinger in the top of the 9th to seal the win. Series tied 2-2.

Game 5 @ The Rhino Preservation - DVs win 5-3. The crucial game 5 started with a leadoff homer by Granderson. Stanton added a 2-run homer in the 4th, but the Rhinos came back with 3 runs in the bottom of the 4th, the last 2 on a home run by Tulowitzki. The go ahead run scored in the top of the 5th on bases loaded walk by Alejandro De Aza. Blanco hit one out in the 8th for the 2-run cushion. The DVs lead 3 games to 2, heading home for game 6.

Game 6 @ Propeller Park - The DVs are the champs! Jered Weaver and Daniel Bard combined to throw a 1-hit shutout in the deciding game, and the only run of the game scored when Aramis Ramirez was hit by a pitch with the bases loaded. The 1 Rhino hit was a single 1-6 on Braun's card.

Congratulations to the DVs on their first title!

Round 2 - DVs vs Tweeners

The winner advances to play the Rhinos in the World Series.

Game 1 @ Propeller Park - DVs win 6-0. Jered Weaver throws a complete game, 5-hitter for the shutout. Mike Stanton hit 2 doubles. "Said the DV manager, "I think my goal this series will be to NOT use a single reliever. Or maybe to NOT allow a run. I can't decide. Both maybe. After all, I can do pretty much whatever I want against this team."

Game 2 @ Propeller Park - DVs win 11-9. Ian Kinsler hit two home runs, including an 8th inning grand slam to bring the DVs from behind to win game 2. Matt Holliday also homered twice for the DVs. Four different Tweeners homered.

Game 3 @ The HooverDome - Tweeners win 3-1. Gio Gonzalez allows only 1 hit over 6 innings.

Game 4 @ The HooverDome - Tweeners win 3-2. DVs get to D.Hudson for 2 in the first but that is all the Tweener pitchers allow. Tweeners score 1 in the fourth and 2 in the seventh on a 2-run homer by Hundley. Romo picks up the win in relief while Hanranhan collects the save. Weaver takes the loss.

Game 5 @ The HooverDome - Tweeners win 13-6. The DVs draw first blood, scoring 2 in the second off of King Felix, but the Tweeners come back with a vengence scoring 8 in the bottom half of the inning chasing Halladay and sending the Tweeners to a game 5 win 13 - 6. Halladay is saddled with the loss while the King picks up the win. Tweeners homer three times in the 2nd inning - the last one a Grand Salami hit by Morse. Venable hits three homers for the Tweeners, Hundley hits two homers and Victorino knocks one as well for the Tweeners. 6 RBI for Venable! DV hitters hit three Homers in a losing cause. The Tweeners are one win away from the World Series!

Game 6 @ Propeller Park - DVs win 6-4. The Tweeners start the scoring with a run in the top of the first. The DVs answer in the bottom half with a run of their own. The lead went back and forth from there. The Tweeners scored 1 in the 3rd. The DVs scored 2 in the 5th. The Tweeners scored 2 in the 7th. The DVs scored 2 in their half of the 7th. The DVs then added a run in the eighth to round out the scoring. Clippard picks up the win for the DVs while Bard gets the save. Oliver takes the loss for the Tweeners. The Tweeners are one win away from the World Series!

Game 7 @ Propeller Park - A game 7 for the ages! An epic battle with D.Hudson starting for the Tweeners and Weaver taking the mound for the DVs. Both teams break out with 4-run first innings. Zobrist hits a Grand Slam for the Tweeners in the first while Ramirez hits a 3-run shot for the DVs! Hundley hits a 2-run blast for the Tweeners in the second inning, Hundley's 5th Homer of the series! The Tweeners plate another run in the third taking a 7-4 lead. Stanton homers for the DVs in the fourth inning to cut the lead to 7-5.  It was still 7-5 entering the bottom of the ninth when Hanrahan allowed a lead off  homer to McCann. Granderson walked and scored the tying run on a Holliday double. Oliver came in for the Tweeners and salvaged a tie, sending the game into extra innings. Curtis Granderson ended the series in historic fashion in the 11th inning with a walkoff 2-run blast off Oliver.  Madson, the last available pitcher for the DVs, earned the win in relief for the DVs. The DVs move on to the World Series against the Rhinos. The Tweeners are one win away from the World Series!

 

Round 2 - Buckeyes vs Rhinos

The Buckeye piano recital ran long. Apparently he missed a few notes. But he's here now... Game on!

Game 1 @ Buckeye Ballyard - Buckeyes win 3-1. Alfredo Aceves shuts down the powerful Rhino offense. ARod homered for the only Rhino run.

Game 2 @ Buckeye Ballyard - Rhinos win 5-4 in 10 innings. Robinson Cano hit a bases loaded sac fly in the top of the 10th, and the Rhinos overcame a single and double in the bottom of the inning. Tulo and Kemp homered for the Rhinos.

Game 3 @ The Rhino Preservation - Rhinos win 12-1. The Rhinos unload on Chris Carpenter. Tulo and Kemp both homer for the second consecutive game. Tim Hudson and C.C. Sabathia combine for the win.

Game 4 @ The Rhino Preservation - Rhinos win 4-2. This time the homers were by Kemp and Markakis. Edwin Jackson gets the win. Octavio Dotel gets the save. The Rhinos lead 3 games to 1.

Game 5 @ The Rhino Preservation - Rhinos win 7-2 to advance to the World Series. Joey Votto doubled in a run in the first, then hit a grand slam in the 2nd and the celebration was on. Matt Garza got the complete game victory.

Round 1 - Tweeners vs Drillers

The Driller Dude finally showed up. Let the games begin...

Game 1 @ The HooverDome - Tweeners win 4-3. Felix Hernandez goes 7 innings, allowing only 4 hits. Sergio Romo gets the save. The Tweeners had only 6 hits, but 5 of them came in the 4th inning. Buster Posey homered for the Drillers.

Game 2 @ The HooverDome - Drillers win 5-3. Javier Vazquez gets the win. Cristhian Martinez earned the save. The Tweeners outhit the Drillers 9-7, but issued 10 walks.

Game 3 @ The Driller Mud Pit - Tweeners win 7-4. Daniel Hudson outpitches Ricky Romero. Darren Oliver got the save when Ellsbury missed a HR 1-8 in the 9th. Ellsbury had already homered and doubled earlier in the game. Ben Zobrist hit a 3-run homer for the Tweeners and Corey Hart hit a solo shot.

Game 4 @ The Driller Mud Pit - Drillers win 3-1. The Drillers had only 4 hits, but one of them was a 3-run homer by Jay Sidewinder Bruce. Dan Haren goes 6 for the win. Martinez gets his second save.

Game 5 @ The Driller Mud Pit - Tweeners win 9-2. Felix Hernandez wins again, and Pablo Sandoval goes 4-5. Headed back to Tweenerville.

Game 6 @ The HooverDome - Drillers win 6-3. The Drillers had two 3-run innings and Javier Vazquez pitched well again, evening up the series and sending it to a game 7.

Game 7 @ The HooverDome - Tweeners win 3-2 in 11 innings to advance to the 2nd round. The winning run scored when Mark Reynolds lofted a fly ball over the drawn in outfield to plate Zack Cozart. The Tweeners will meet the DVs in Round 2.

Round 1 - Fungoes vs Rhinos

Game 1 @ The Rhino Preservation - Fungoes won 6-1. The Rhinos struck early with a solo HR from Tulowitzki, but the Fungi exploded for 5 runs in the 4th. Berkman homered to tie the game; then Clint Barmes came thru with a 2-out, RBI hit. That was followed with an error by Tim Hudson that plated 2 more runs and a run scoring hit by Daniel Murphy. Clint Barmes homered in the 6th to complete the scoring. Clayton Kershaw pitched 2.2 innings out of the bullpen to get the win. The 7-8-9 spots in the Rhino lineup went 0-11 with 11 K's.

Game 2 @ The Rhino Preservation - Rhinos won 4-2. The Fungoes took a 2-0 lead in the top of the 5th with 2 unearned runs thanks to a 2-out, bases loaded Tulo error. But Kemp and Cano went back to back in the 6th to tie the game. A sac fly by Braun in the 7th put the Rhinos ahead for good, and Polanco knocked in an insurance run in the 8th. John Axford in relief got the win; Sean Marshall recorded the save. Steve Cishek took the loss for the Fungoes.

Game 3 @ WTF Field - Rhinos won 9-1. Edwin Jackson goes the distance, and the Rhinos pound out 14 hits. A 7-run 5th inning sent the Fungo Fanatics to the exits early. Alex Gordon in the leadoff spot went 4-5.

Game 4 @ WTF Field - Rhinos won 11-2. Matt Garza threw the second consecutive complete game for the Rhinos, losing his shutout in the 9th inning. Robinson Cano came up in the 9th needing only a triple for the cycle, but could only manage a grand slam, falling woefully short of the desired cycle. After the game, Rhino manager Colonel Rhino said, "We'd kinda like to close this out at home, so I think I'll send Kemp, Cano, Tulo, Votto, and Braun home a day early."

Game 5 @ WTF Field - Rhinos won 3-0 to advance to the 2nd Round. Alex Avila tripled and homered. Tim Hudson and three relievers combined for the shutout. The Rhinos advance to meet the #2 seed Buckeyes.

Playoffs Preview

This weekend at WTF Field in Waxahachie, the top six NASOMA teams will spend some time trying to remember how to roll dice and find the results on their cards. They've spent this past week trying to FIND their cards.

Here's the lowdown on the six playoff teams...

Seed 6 - The Fungoes. The Fungoes have won a title before (2006), so he's lost all the motivation to win again. And it's a good thing. To win this, the Fungoes would have to beat, in order, the Rhinos (105 wins), the DVs (112 wins), and most likely the Buckeyes (109 wins). Fat chance. The team had no one score 100 runs, no one drive in 100, no one hit 30 homers, and even no one hit 30 doubles. Apparently, Clayton Kershaw carried this team on his shoulders to the post season. He can set down that load now; the season ends with a first round loss to the Rhinos. It's probably for the best - he can spend his weekend being host and keeping the rest of us from rummaging through his collection of sex tapes.

Seed 5 - The Drillers. To answer the most frequently asked question, "Yes, the Drillers are still in the league." It's been more than a decade, but the Drillers have won two titles. And while the Tweeners are flying in from Kentucky, they will still get to WTF hours ahead of the Driller Dude. The Drillers are led on offense by Jacoby Ellsbury, Evan Longoria, and Yadier Molina. The Drillers open against the Tweeners, and actually won the season series 6-4, but at least half those games were played via the Quick Play option. Now he has to find that cheating white die.

Seed 4 - The Tweeners. The sentimental favorite to win it all. The Tweeners have finally reached year 30 of his 30 year plan. Michael Morse, Pablo Sandoval, and Victor Martinez lead the offense while King Felix is the top pitcher. The Tweener/Driller series might be the most entertaining of the weekend. The cheating white die vs the Mud Die. And while the Tweeners know the rules as well or better than anyone, there is sure to be a lot of, "Hey, does anybody know this... there's runners on the corners, he's back but holding, what happens on a gbA to the pitcher?"

Seed 3 - The Rhinos. Destined for greatness, the Rhinos have used the draft and the trade wires to put together the best lineup in NASOMA history and set the stage for their first title. The question at the beginning of the season was how many records would they break. But the Rhinos "only" won 105 games and didn't even get a bye. Does this mean doom for any team getting in his way now? Or do the Rhinos leave the weekend disappointed, overhwhelmed with questions about his game strategy and filled with self-doubt about his manhood and sexual preference?

Seed 2 - The Buckeyes. As 7 titles can attest, nobody can match wits with the Buckeyes and come out ahead. In the past, he's won with speed, he's won with pitching and defense, and now he's completely come full circle and returned to his overpowering, bandbox homer bashing strategy. Plus, Humber and Hamels both won 20, and Carpenter won 18. David Ortiz anchors (literally) the offense. But the real question is... How the hell is Hunter Pence a major league ballplayer? Have you ever watched him swing a bat? Or run? Or THROW? He throws like a girl! Or worse, he throws like John Wall!!! Anyway, a Buckeye/Rhino second round series would be fun to follow.

Seed 1 - The DVs. After years of spending playoff weekend either playing golf at home or playing with himself in the bathroom after getting spanked in the first round, the DVs are loaded for bear. Unfortunately, they won't be playing the bears. Still, he'll show up with stacks and stacks of every possible match-up involving every possible team. None of it will matter of course, but it WILL slow the game to a crawl, which works in the DVs' favor. They aren't strong on the boards, so transition offense is non-existent. If they're knocking down the 3's, they'll be fine. Otherwise... someone will need to ride back to Tulsa with him. Actually, you'll need to DO the driving. And you'll need to have the suicide hotline number saved on your phone... just in case.

Predictions...

Round 1
Rhinos beat the Fungoes 4-2
Tweeners beat the Drillers 4-3

Round 2
DVs beat the Tweeners 4-2
Rhinos beat the Buckeyes 4-3

World Series
Rhinos beat the DVs 4-1

Hope to see you there!

Polling Problems

The polling gadget is not allowing me to add more than 4 options, so I just added a second poll. Please pick the team you think will win it all this weekend.

Menage Á Trois

Inmates give up Darwin Barney, Brad Ziegler, Antonio Bastardo, Devin Mesoraco, and Jeff Karstens.

Wahoos give up Mark Teixeira, Luke Gregorson, Edward Mujica, and pick 99.

Warpigs give up Stephen Drew, Delmon Young, pick 37, and pick 52.

*****

Inmates get Mark Teixeira, Stephen Drew, Delmon Young, and pick 99.

Wahoos get Devin Mesoraco, Jeff Karstens, pick 37, and pick 52.

Warpigs get Darwin Barney, Brad Ziegler, Antonio Bastardo, Luke Gregorson, and Edward Mujica.

Killer Turkeys and Warturkeys trade

The Bees send J.J. Putz and Jeremy Affeldt to the Pigs for the Goof 4th (pick 49) and the FFT 5th (pick 69).

Goof and Pigs trade

The SuperGoofs traded Melky Cabrera, John Jaso, their 1st round pick, and their 4th round pick to the Warpigs for Josh Hamilton.

Inmates and Snakes trade

Inmates traded Ryan Howard to the SSWs for Michael Pineda. Given our propensity for drafting/trading for pitchers and having them get injured, we decided to by-pass the wait and get one already hurt.

The HEAD INMATE

I still can't believe I traded Jay Bruce for that worthless piece of shit.

Snakeman

Gold Gloves

19 Gold Gloves were awarded by MLB. In NASOMA, the Inmates led the way with 4 fielding winners, including LF, CF, 3b, and 2b. If the Inmates are going to become a team that relies on defense, hell will really freeze over. The Wahoos had 3 GG winners, followed by the Mavs, Warpigs, Rhinos with 2 each. The teams with 1 representative are the Fungoes, DVs, Sidewinders, FFTs, and Zaps. One GG winner, Adam LaRoche, is currently not on a team in NASOMA.

C: Matt Wieters, Fungoes
1B: Mark Teixeira, Wahoos
2B: Robinson Cano, Rhinos
3B: Adrian Beltre, Inmates
SS: J.J. Hardy, DVs
LF: Alex Gordon, Rhinos
CF: Adam Jones, Inmates
RF: Josh Reddick, Wahoos
P: Jeremy Hellickson, Warpigs
P: Jake Peavy, Sidewinders

 

C: Yadier Molina, Warpigs
1B: Adam LaRoche, Free Agent
2B: Darwin Barney, Inmates
3B: Chase Headley, Mavs
SS: Jimmy Rollins, FFTs
LF: Carlos Gonzalez, Inmates
CF: Andrew McCutchen, Zaps
RF: Jason Heyward, Mavs
P: Mark Buehrle, Wahoos

Tweeners 2, DVs 1

Tweeners take 2 of 3 at home vs. DVs to finish the regular season for both teams. Game #1 was a pitching duel, with Gio getting the win over Weaver. We inexplicably failed to comply with instructions to pull Weaver after 7 innings, and he went 8 innings for the complete game loss. If the final stats show Weaver exceeding his season limit by one inning, the penalty should be assessed to the Tweeners on the ensuing kick-off. Gio and Romo fanned 14, Tweeners won 2-1.

Game #2 came straight from the "shit can happen" file. It began as another pitching duel, with Felix Hernandez taking a 3-2 lead into the 8th inning, when the DVs exploded for 6 runs off Felix, Romo, and Hanrahan. Tweeners began saving dwindling at-bats, pulling Sandoval and Morse in the bottom of the 8th. Then in the 9th Ogando, Madsen, and Elbert took their turn as The Three Stooges. Hal's re-cap said "The big moment was provided by Victorino who thrilled the crowd when he lofted a three-run 'big-fly'", but that was actually early in the inning. The final blow was a 3-run walk-off homer by Mark Reynolds, capping a 7 run 9th and a 10-8 Tweeners victory. Not quite as epic as the Randy Higdon belly-flop comeback, but epic nonetheless. Allen Craig had 5 singles, Madsen pitched a third of an inning, allowing 2 hits, a homerun, 2 earned runs, and was credited with a "hold". 'That was exciting!,' Victorino said. 'I would have paid money to watch this one.'

In game #162, Hal finally got it right when reporting that "Madison
Bumgarner(14-13) got hammered, allowing 6 hits and 4 walks in 3 and 1/3 innings." Tweeners actually out-hit the DVs 15-9, but Halladay and the DVs won the game by a score of 8-5. Shane Victorino hit his 24th triple, so maybe the league leaders listed in the yearbook will not be completely devoid of Tweeners.