Warpigs 5, Bees 2

Nashville weekend games...

At The Beehive

Gm1 - Warpigs win 13-2. Corey Seager and D.J. Lemahieu both had 3 hits, with D.J. driving in 5. Christian Yelich homered for the Pigs.

Gm2 - Warpigs win 4-2. Beltre continued his tirade against the Mullen brothers, hitting homers in the 7th and 8th innings. The go ahead runs scored on a pinch hit, clutch single by Jose Pirela.

At The BallPork

Gm3 - Bees win 11-8. The Bees led 10-1 in the 4th, and the Pigs emptied the bench. The Bees had to then hang on as the Pigs came back to make a game of it, leaving the bases loaded in the 9th. Adam Wainwright went 2-3 with 2 doubles, 2 runs, and an RBI for the Pigs.

Gm4 - Warpigs win 5-2. Seager and Judge homered for the home team.

At The Beehive

Gm5 - Warpigs win 8-7. J.T. Realmuto went 3-4 with 2 homers and 4 RBI. Christian Yelich added 3 hits and a home run of his own.

Gm6 - Bees win 10-7. A 4-run 8th by the Bees broke open the game. The two teams combined for 29 hits. Both Yelich and Seager went 3-4 with homers for the Pigs.

Gm7 - Warpigs win 8-6. Jose Pirela had 3 hits in 5 at bats, including a homer, and drove in 5 runs. Beltre homered, scoring 3 and driving in 3.

For the weekend, Adrian Beltre played in 24 of the 25 Warpig games, hitting .407 (35/86), scoring 22 runs and driving in 28. He had 4 doubles and 8 home runs.

Warpigs 3, Sidewinders 2

Nashville weekend games...

At the Snake Pit

Gm1 - Warpigs win 8-0. Danny Duffy and Carl Edwards combined to 1-hit the Snakes. Duffy lost his no-hitter with two outs in the 8th inning on a single by Jed Lowrie. The Pigs scored 5 runs in the 1st, capped by a grand slam by Christian Yelich.

Gm2 - Warpigs win 7-6. The Pigs overcame a 6-2 deficit with unearned runs in the 7th and 8th, both on errors by that SOB Jed Lowrie, who was paying the price for messing up the no-hitter yesterday.

Gm3 - Sidewinders win 4-3. It was the Snakes' turn to come from behind, scoring 2 in the 7th to tie the game, and then getting the walk-off winner in the 9th by Justin Upton. Beltre, who loves playing the Sidewinders, homered for the 2nd straight game.

At The BallPork

Gm4 - Sidewinders win 5-3. A 3-run 6th broke the 2-2 tie and made a loser of deGrom.

Gm5 - Warpigs win 9-1. Rich Hill went the distance, allowing 4 hits. An 8th inning homer kept the Snakes from being shut out. Tommy Pham and Aaron Judge both hit 3-run homers.

Warpigs 3, Wahoos 0

Nashville weekend games...

At The Reservation

Gm1 - Warpigs win 10-8. The Wahoos' Nick Williams hit a grand slam in the 1st inning, and the Pigs' Greg Bird answered with a granny in the 2nd inning. Both teams were off to the races, with no one wanting to take the bump. The hitting star was the little-used Greg Bird, who took advantage of the Wahoo ballpark (and the Wahoo pitching) to go 3-4 with 2 homers and a double. He drove in 7.

Gm2 - Warpigs win 11-0. Due to all the extra innings, Adam Wainwright was told he might have to go 9 innings regardless of the situation. He responded with a complete game, 2-hit shutout. AT THE RESERVATION! Adrian Beltre went 3-4 with a HR. Seager and Realmuto both stayed hot with two hits each, and the amazing Greg Bird hit another homer into the short porch in right.

Gm3 - Warpigs win 16-5. The hitting stars for the Pigs were many, as the Pigs scored 16 runs on 20 hits. Judge hit four consecutive RBI doubles, getting 7 RBI. Tim Beckham, making a rare start at SS, had 4 hits (including a homer) and scored 4 runs. Jose Pirela went 3-3, and Beltre went 3-4 with RBI singles in this first three at bats. Oh, and Greg Bird, who went 2-5, hit his 4th homer in 3 games (his only 3 games of the weekend).

Warpigs 5, Fungoes 5

Nashville weekend games...

At The BallPork

Gm1 - Fungoes win 7-6 in 12 innings. The extra inning games are piling up.Corey Seager went 3-5 with a homer, Joe Mauer had 3 hits, and Tommy Pham drove in 3 in the loss.

Gm2 - Warpigs win 6-1. Beltre, who had quite a weekend, hit a 3-run homer. J.T. Realmuto lit up Kershaw with a double and two triples. Luis Severino went 6 strong innings for the win.

Gm3 - Fungoes win 5-3. The Pigs scored 3 runs in the 2nd inning, and then shut down. Dan Straily was too much for the Pigs today.

At WTF Field

Gm4 - Fungoes win 5-4 in 11 innings. Sheesh. D.J. Lemahieu's error in the 11th led to the winning run. It was his 3rd error in 4 games. The boy ain't focused. Seager homered again for the Pigs.

Gm5 - Warpigs win 4-1. Danny Duffy mowed down the Fungoes, and Beltre went 3-3 with 2 RBI, but made 2 errors.

Gm6 - Fungoes win 4-3 in 11 innings. The Pigs played their 14th extra inning game of the year (for a whopping 65 extra innings). Beltre stayed hot, though, getting two doubles and two RBI.

At The BallPork

Gm7 - Warpigs win 5-2. Jacob deGrom gave up a HR to lead off the game and was immediately tossed for arguing balls and strikes. Three Pig relievers came on to pitch 3 innings apiece in the win. Aaron Judge hit a 2-run single in the 1st, and Seager did the same in the 2nd. Neither team scored after the 2nd inning.

Gm8 - Warpigs win 1-0. Tommy Pham led off the bottom of the 1st with a homer, and Severino outdueled Kershaw again. Severino and 5 relievers combined to hold the Fungi to 2 hits.

At WTF Field

Gm9 - Warpigs win 7-2. Beltre and Seager continued to lead the way - both homering to back the pitching of a much calmer deGrom.

Gm10 - Fungoes win 6-5. Mike Trout had 3 hits including the walk off double in the 9th.

Inmates 6, Warpigs 4

Inmates 6 – Warpigs 4 (cards and dice)

Pigs 7 – Inmates 2 (Baptist Bowl): A five-spot in the 5^th (including a pair of homers) gave the Pigs all they needed in a game that shouldn’t have been as close as it was. The Porcine Pack continually squandered scoring opportunities and probably should have scored fifteen. The LDMF showed up and had their buttocks pummeled.

Corey Seager and J.T. Realmuto had the Pig homers. Wainwright got the win. Pigs left 14 men on base; the Inmates only reached base 7 times.

Pigs 4 – Inmates 3 (15 innings – Baptist Bowl): A Santana homer in the Inmate 7^th was the last of the scoring for both teams, allowing the Pigs to show off their propensity for playing extra-inning games. AJ Ramos allowed a tater to some nameless bastard in the 15^th to give the Porkers a lead, and then the LDMF made another appearance in the bottom of the inning when the Inmates put two on but couldn’t score.

Tommy Pham hit the winning homer. Raisel Iglesias was the hero, going 4 innings of shutout relief. Carl Edwards got the win and Adam Warren the save. Pigs are 9-2 now in extra inning games. Six of those eleven games have gone 15 innings or longer.

Inmates 4 – Pigs 2 (Baptist Bowl): Still another show of offensive ineptitude, which came to an end when Santana hit a two-out three-run walk-off spud off of Doolittle to finally allow the Beakless Chicken to do the Eye-Gouge.

Jacob deGrom went 8 innings, allowing 3 hits and no walks while striking out 10. I have no idea why I pulled him for the 9th.

Inmates 7 – Pigs 5 (Ballpork): After going 0-for the first three games of the series, Altuve exploded for a pair of doubles, a homer and five ribbies to lead the Beakless Chicken Gang.

Adrian Beltre and Aaron Judge homered for the good guys.

Inmates 3 – Pigs 1 (Ballpork): Quintana and a pair of relievers held the Porcine Wonders to only four hits, while Altuve continued his unconsciousness with three RBI singles.

I hate to correct the HEAD INMATE, but the final score of this game was 2-1. Little Mr. Altuve did have three singles, but only two of them scored runs. Judge homered for the only Pig run.

Pigs 4 – Inmates 3 (Baptist Bowl): Yet another close game, with the PigPen totally shutting down the Beakless Bastards. The home teams continually had problems throughout the day, as only one game out of ten was won by the hosts.

Beltre and Christian Yelich went back-to-back with homers in the 3rd inning. The deciding run scored in the 8th when Judge led off with a triple and Seager came thru with a 2-out single to put the Pigs ahead.

Pigs 16 – Inmates 3 (Baptist Bowl): Nothing close here, as the Pigs jumped out to a 15-0 lead before the LDMF got their first hit. One thing of interest (since the game sucked for the home faithful): the Pigs managed all of their runs despite K’ing fifteen times and hitting into a DP.

The one and only fun game of the whole day... The Pigs scored 4 in the 1st, 5 in the 2nd, and 6 in the 4th to jump to a quick 15-0 lead. The Pigs had 16 hits and 8 walks to counter those 15 Ks. Jake Lamb was 4-4 with 2 walks. He scored 3 and drove in 4. Tommy Pham homered and doubled before taking an early exit from the game.

Inmates 4 – Pigs 1 (Ballpork): Manaea out-dueled Severino for an Inmate win. Castro homered for the winners.

The Inmates cheat.

Inmates 2 – Pigs 1 (Ballpork): In a bizarre twist, both managers pulled their starting pitchers (Salazar and Odorizzi) at the end of the 5^th inning despite both tossing one-hit shutouts. An unearned run capped the Inmate 7^th, which turned out to be the winning run. The LDMF managed only four hits in the win.

It's pretty sad when, faced with a 2-1 deficit in the 9th, with runners at 1st and 2nd and 2 outs, you're forced to bring Adam Wainwright in to pinch hit.

Inmates 5 – Pigs 3 (Ballpork): Cespedes hit a grand-slam in the 3^rd and the Inmates held on to take the series finale. Starting in the 4^th, the Pigs changed pitchers every inning to shut down the Inmates on no hits and two walks. Each of the six relievers also recorded a single strikeout.

Well, that's almost accurate. Actually the last 2 of the 6 relievers, who each threw exactly one inning, had 2 strikeouts each. But yeah, deGrom's uncharacteristic bad start signaled an opportunity to get him some rest, so the bullpen worked the rest of the game as if it were an All Star game, going one inning each - and not allowing a hit in the process. The Pigs made the Inmates sweat a little with a 3-run 8th that saw 6 consecutive hitters reach base - and all that happened off of Bradley and Green. But it was too little, too late. 

Understanding that this will sound a LOT like the HEAD INMATE, the Pigs outscored the Inmates (44-38) and out hit them (87-69). We even out walked them (45-28). The Inmates did have more homers, but it was only a 10-9 difference. Alas, we just couldn't get the right hits at the right time, and lost the series.

Inmates 7, Sidewinders 3

Inmates 7 – Sidewinders 3: NASOMA’s Ecumenical Series (cards and dice)

Inmates 8 – Sidewinders 4 (Baptist Bowl): Still reeling from the effects of their “Where in the World is Carmen San Diego” imitation, the Snakes lost quickly and quietly to the Beakless Chicken Gang. Rizzo hit a three-run homer in the 5^th to seal the result.

Inmates 5 – Sidewinders 3 (Baptist Bowl): A closer game but the same result. Santana continued his hot-hitting ways with another homer, while the Inmate bullpen kept things in check.

Inmates 6 – Sidewinders 3 (Church Lot): Four Inmate homers carried the day, despite feeble attempts by the Snakes to mount a comeback in the late innings. Bauer took the loss.

Inmates 8 – Sidewinders 2 (Church Lot): Rizzo hit two homers and drove in five runs, and Manaea pitched well to continue the misery for the world-traveling Slithering Reptiles. A three-run Inmate 7^th put away any hope the Snakes had of catching up.

Sidewinders 3 – Inmates 2 (12 innings – Church Lot): A Gregorius error lead to the Inmates tying the game at 2-2 in the 8^th. The Battle of the Bullpens was won by the Snakes when they burned Bradley for two hits, two walks, and a run in the 12^th for their first win of the series.

At this point a break in the action was agreed upon by both teams, as it was 1:30 in the fucking morning and cogent thought processes were no longer possible. Game 6 began Sunday morning after the Snakes attended Mass en masse.

Sidewinders 4 – Inmates 3 (Baptist Bowl): Seemingly rejuvenated after morning religious services and prodigious quantities of fat, sodium, cholesterol and nitrates at Harold Waite’s Pancake and Steak House, the Snakes built a 4-0 lead and then hung on to extend their winning streak to two. The Inmates scored in the 9^th to close the lead to 4-3 and had the tying run at second base but the Snake bullpen prevailed.

Inmates 6 – Sidewinders 1 (Baptist Bowl): Bregman and Rizzo both hit two-run homers in the 5^th to seal the game for the Beakless Chicken Gang. The Sidewinders scored their lone run in the 8^th when someone homered.

Inmates 4 - Sidewinders 2 (Baptist Bowl): Through five innings the two teams had combined for four hits, all of which were solo homeruns. The Inmates scored two more in the 6^th without homering for the win. Go figure.

Inmates 3 – Sidewinders 2 (10 innings – Church Lot): The Sidewinders scored a pair of runs in the 1^st before their offense totally shut down. The Inmates weren’t much better, but Martinez homered in the 10^th to end the misery for both teams.

Sidewinders 4 – Inmates 3 (15 innings – Church Lot): In a near-repeat of the previous game, the offenses went comatose until Bradley repeated his inability to hang in games in extra innings. The Sidewinders salvage the series closer after both teams burn through their bullpens.

Rhinos 5, Inmates 2

Rhinos 5 – Inmates 2 (dice and cards)

Rhinos 13 – Inmates 2 (The Reserve): A game which portended the rest of the series. The Horned-Wonders blasted Manaea for ten runs, building a 6-0 lead before the Inmates recorded their first hit of the game. A six-run Rhino 7^th added to the lopsided shitfest. Three Rhinos went deep in the game. The LDMF managed four hits off of Roark.

Inmates 7 – Rhinos 5 (The Reserve): A back-and-forth game finally settled when Santana hit a two-run homer in the Inmate 9^th off of Vizcaino. Nunez homered twice for the Beakless Chicken Gang.

Rhinos 5 – Inmates 4 (The Reserve): The Rhinos out-homered the Inmates 2-1 while Alvarado recorded a one-out save to give the Endangered Ones a 2-1 series lead.

Rhinos 4 – Inmates 2 (Doubleheader Game 1 – Baptist Bowl): Wood allowed only six hits, but three are still orbiting the earth as the Rhino power rampage continued. Martinez hit a two-run blast for the Inmates in the 4^th, which prevented the ignominy of being shutout.

Inmates 4 – Rhinos 3 (Doubleheader Game 2 – Baptist Bowl): Quintana lasted 3 2/3 before mercifully being lifted for a more effective paraplegic geriatric transsexual with Parkinson’s disease. The Inmate bullpen held off the Rhino bats for the Beakless Chicken Gang’s last win of the series.

Rhinos 3 – LDMF 1 (Baptist Bowl): Only a Santana solo homer with two outs in the bottom of the 9^th kept the LDMF from being totally white-washed. Manaea struck out thirteen in seven innings while allowing only four hits, but it didn’t matter as the denizens of the Bible Belt suffered from incurable cancer-bat.

Rhinos 12 – LDMF 3 (Baptist Bowl): Martinez and Shaw hit solo homers in the 2^nd to give the Hitless Wonders an early 2-0 lead. Davies allowed solo homers in the 4^th, 5^th, and 6^th to allow the Rhinos to take the lead. The usually stellar Inmate bullpen came in to make the game a laugher, allowing nine runs between the 7^th and 8^th to blow the game open. Santana once again homered for the LDMF in the 9^th, but by then no one cared.

Sidewinders 4, Warpigs 1

Cards and Dice

Game 1 - Sidewinders win 5-2. I have no idea what happened in this game. Pigs struck out a lot. Snakes didn't. Chris Sale allowed only 2 hits (both homers) over 6 innings.

Game 2 - Sidewinders win 12-9. Again, the details are vague. I do know we trailed 11-1 before I had my lineup written down. Back to back errors in the first inning led to five unearned runs. A triple play helped avoid another big inning. Pigs had a little success against the slackers in the Snake bullpen to make it close. It turns out that was intentional on the Snakeman's part to get Kimbrel another save. Fuckin' Sidewinders.

Game 3 - Warpigs win 8-5. Lemahieu went 4-5 and Judge homered for the second game in a row.

Game 4 - Sidewinders win 3-1. Sale struck out 14 in 8 innings, allowing only 3 hits (all singles). Adam Wainwright was the starting DH for the Pigs and batted 2nd - and he was the only starter who didn't strike out. Of course.

Game 5 - Sidewinders win 5-3. Didi Gregorious can suck my balls.

Every game was decided by 3 runs or fewer, but it felt like we got blown out 5 times. Now I'm GLAD you had to sleep without your damn CPAP!

Inmates 8 - Fungoes 1 - Tweeners 4

Inmates 6 – Fungoes 1/Tweeners 4 – Inmates 2

Cards and dice:

Inmates 5 – Fungoes 2 (Baptist Bowl): A three-run homer by D. Santana in the 8^th broke open a 2-2 pitcher’s duel.

Inmates 12 – Fungoes 1 (Baptist Bowl): The Fungi scored in the 1^st to take a short-lived lead, and then all hell broke loose. Nunez hit a pair of taters, Segura drove in four runs with a pair of doubles, and Manaea tossed a complete game six-hitter to totally destroy the visitors from WTF.

Fungoes 5 – Inmates 0 (Baptist Bowl): The Inmates put away their bats, getting blanked by Kennedy (!?!) and the Fungoe bullpen. The near-return of the LDMF was low-lighted in the 9^th, when the Dickless Chicken Gang had three consecutive singles with one out and still couldn’t manage to score.

Inmates 12 – Fungoes 7 (Baptist Bowl): The Fungi jumped out to a 6-0 lead in the 2^nd when Davies allowed a pair of three-run homers. With Kershaw on the mound it didn’t bode well for the Inmate chances, but Rizzo and Bregman tatered in the bottom half of the inning to make the game close. Fast-forward to the 8^th, when the Inmates scored five to break a 7-7 tie capped by Rizzo’s second spud of the game.

Inmates 5 – Fungoes 1 (WTF): Ho-hum. Not much remarkable here. The Fungoes managed only five hits, made two errors, and generally didn’t help themselves out. Martinez hit a two-run homer for the Inmates.

Inmates 4 – Fungoes 1 (WTF):  Ho-hum, part 2. The Fungoes managed only four hits, made two errors, and generally didn’t help themselves out. Martinez hit a solo homer for the Inmates.

Inmates 6 – Fungoes 5 (WTF): A closer game than the last few, but the Fungoes came up short. A Rosario grand-slam in the 7^th iced the game for the Beakless Chicken Gang.

Via Netplay:

Tweeners 4 – Inmates 2 (Hooverdome): Davies allowed three homers, including a Cozart blast on the first pitch of the bottom of the 1^st that landed somewhere in western Tennessee. The game wasn’t as close as the score indicated, as a two-run homer by Segura in the Inmate 9^th only avoided a shutout.

Tweeners 5 – Inmates 4 (Hooverdome): The Tweeners continued to make life difficult for the Inmates, as the clutchless denizens of the Baptist Bowl had 8 hits before finally scoring in the 6^th to take a 2-1 lead. Flash-forward to the last inning: A two-run homer by Cespedes in the 9^th closed the Tweener lead to 5-4, which was how the game ended.

Inmates 7 – Tweeners 2 (Hooverdome): Ray fanned 12 in 6 1/3 innings, but the Inmates managed to win anyway. Ramos hit a three-run homer, while the Inmate bullpen pitched a perfect 7^th, 8^th, and 9^th.

Tweeners 2 – Inmates 1 (Baptist Bowl): A classic pitcher’s duel. Martinez tatered in the Inmate 3^rd for a 1-0 lead that lasted into the 8^th, when the Tweeners scored a pair off of Bradley. Minor and Smith combined in the 9th to ice the game.

Inmates 9 – Tweeners 6 (Baptist Bowl): Wild game #1, with the Tweeners fighting back from a 6-1 deficit to tie the game in the 6^th. A three-run Inmate 7^th off of Minor sealed the win, causing spontaneous performances of the “Eye Gouge” in Beakless Chicken Land.

Tweeners 10 – Inmates 8 (Baptist Bowl): Wild game #2. Davies was unable to hold a 7-1 lead, allowing four Tweener homers – Parra had a three homer game! – as the wind was blowing out at the Baptist Bowl. The Inmates managed to have two baserunners on in the last of the 9^th with Rizzo at the plate but the rally died. Of note: The Tweeners hit nine homers in the series. Seven were off of Davies. On the day, Davies allowed ten homers in four starts.

Mavs 5, Fungoes 5

The Mavs and Fungoes played ten games side by side today that were far too ugly for either team to comment on so we’ll leave it to Hal.

4/7:  Dan Straily went 7 strong innings as the Waxahachie Fungoes beat the Midlothian Mavs by a score of 4 to 0.  Straily(1-0) escaped virtually unscathed against the Midlothian hitters.  He didn't allow much, just 2 hits and 1 walk in 7 innings.  Waxahachie ended up with 10 hits for the game while Midlothian had 3.  Jason Hammel(2-7) was hit with the loss.  He surrendered 7 hits and no walks in 6 innings.

4/8:  Matt Harvey delivered 7 solid innings and Eric Hosmer went yard and had 3 RBI as the Waxahachie Fungoes bested the dreadful Midlothian Mavs 4 to 2 at WTF Field.  Waxahachie tallied 2 runs in the 6th inning.  The crucial at-bat was provided by Hosmer who made the crowd happy when he clubbed a two-run home run. Midlothian was set down quietly in the 9th.   Harvey(1-0) went 7 innings allowing 2 runs for the victory. David Robertson gained credit for his 1st save.  Carlos Carrasco(3-5) took the loss.  He surrendered only 3 runs and 4 hits in 7 innings.  

4/9:  At WTF Field, the Waxahachie fans witnessed a great pitcher's duel.  Carlos Martinez(2-4) finally bested his Waxahachie opposite, Joe Musgrove(0-1), by the score of 3 to 0.  Martinez contributed a very nicely pitched game.  He was stingy on the mound, allowing just 4 hits and 1 walk in 7 and 1/3 innings.  Both teams' bats went to sleep after the 3rd inning with no runs scored after that point.  Musgrove was charged with the loss.  He pitched 6 innings giving up 5 hits and 2 walks.

5/19:  At Juan Gonzalez Field the Midlothian Mavs outscored the Waxahachie Fungoes 6 to 3.  Waxahachie never recovered after Midlothian took the lead in the 2nd inning as they scored 2 runs on 2 base hits.  Waxahachie was set down quietly in the 9th.  Dinelson Lamet(2-2) went 6 innings allowing 2 runs for the victory. Lamet got help from Mychal Givens who was credited with his 4th save.  Ian Kennedy(0-1) suffered the loss.  He surrendered 4 homeruns in his 5 innings.  The win by Midlothian is a very welcome one as they have been struggling in recent days.  Their record now stands at 16-44 - only 2-8 in their last ten games.  With the loss Waxahachie now has a record of 2-2.

5/20:  In a close game the Waxahachie Fungoes got by the pathetic Midlothian Mavs by the score of 10 to 8.  Will Harris(1-0) slammed the door shut in an excellent relief performance.  He did not allow a baserunner in his 1 inning.  A wild affair, this game saw the lead change 5 times.  David Robertson gained credit for his 2nd save.  The losing pitcher was Joakim Soria(0-3) in relief.  His ERA ballooned from 3.93 to 4.58 as he allowed 3 runs in 1 and 1/3 innings.  

6/16:  In a good matchup it was the Waxahachie Fungoes 6, the lifeless [oh really?  This is the best we’ve played all year] Midlothian Mavs 3 at WTF Field.   Waxahachie wasted no time and took the lead in the first inning when they scored 2 runs on 3 hits.  David Robertson pitched a perfect ninth to earn his 3rd save.  German Marquez(1-0) was the winner allowing 2 runs in 6 innings. Jason Hammel(2-8) took the loss.  He allowed 10 hits and 2 walks in 6 innings.  

6/17:  Left fielder Starling Marte had 2 base hits and 2 RBI as the Midlothian Mavs beat the Waxahachie Fungoes by a score of 2 to 1.  Waxahachie found themselves trailing quickly as the Midlothian bats came through in the first inning when they scored 2 runs on 3 hits.  That was all the runs Carlos Carrasco(4-5) needed.  Midlothian finished with 7 hits in the victory.  Carrasco was helped out by Mychal Givens who recorded his 5th save.  Lance McCullers(0-1) was tagged with the loss.  He was a hard-luck loser, pitching 6 innings and not allowing an earned run.  

8/9:  In a close game the Midlothian Mavs got by the Waxahachie Fungoes by the score of 4 to 2. Midlothian had 3 runs cross the plate in the bottom of the 6th inning when they came up with 4 base hits.  It was enough scoring to earn the victory. Waxahachie threatened in the 9th but Midlothian was able to put down the rally.  The win was credited to Jason Hammel(3-8) who went 6 and 1/3 innings allowing 1 run. Mychal Givens recorded his 6th save.  The losing pitcher was German Marquez(1-1).   Despite losing Waxahachie's manager was optimistic after the game.  'We'll get over this one.  Sometimes the breaks fall your way, sometimes they don't.  Any one of a dozen little things go different, and we come out on top.'  Midlothian now has a record of 17-46.  With the loss, Waxahachie has a record of 4-3 lately, 4-3 overall.

8/10:  Bryce Harper homered and had 3 RBI at Juan Gonzalez Field as the Midlothian Mavs beat the Waxahachie Fungoes 8 to 3.  Waxahachie was unable to recover after Midlothian went ahead in the 2nd inning when they tallied 2 runs on 2 hits.  Midlothian had 10 hits for the night.  Carlos Carrasco(5-5) got credit for the victory, pitching 6 and 2/3 innings and allowing 3 runs. Ian Kennedy(0-2) ended up with the loss.  Midlothian scored big getting 7 runs off him in 4 innings.  With this win, Midlothian has a 19-46 record.  They have been 5-5 lately. With the loss, Waxahachie has a record of 4-5 lately, 4-5 overall.

8/11:  Lance McCullers mowed down 11 Midlothian batters as the Waxahachie Fungoes beat the woeful [there just aren’t enough adjectives for this] Midlothian Mavs by a score of 2 to 0.  McCullers(1-1) was tremendous on the mound for Waxahachie.  He didn't allow much, just 3 hits and no walks in 7 innings.  Waxahachie had only 6 hits for the game.  McCullers was helped out by David Robertson who recorded his 4th save.  Carlos Martinez(2-5) ended up with the loss.  He allowed 2 runs and 5 hits in 6 and 1/3 innings.  'Everything felt great' McCullers said. 'I had a good fastball, I felt I could throw it by everybody today.'

Wahoos 4, Fungoes 1

Details to follow.

With this series - and with the Wahoos and DVs having 11 head-to-head games left, the FFTs have been eliminated from post season contention.

Wahoos 3, Skyscrapers 1

Details to follow.

Wahoos 8, Goofs 2

Wahoos 8, Goofs 2
(All cards and dice)
Game 1: Goofs start fast with 5 straight hits with 1 out in the first, along with a walk and error. After 1, Goofs lead 5-0. They cruise to a 9-2 victory.
Game 2: Goofs, and specifically Hunter Renfroe with 2 homers, drop the hammer again. Steven Wright and friends cruise to a 3-0 win.
Game 3: Justin Verlander dominates and Edwin Encarnacion homers to help the Wahoos to a 4-2 win.
Game 4: Wahoos rally with 5 runs in the eighth with Khris Davis and Encarnacion homers (Edwin had 2 in the game). Wahoos win, 8-5.
Game 5: Wahoos again score early (3 in the second) but have to hang on, 9-6.
Game 6: Wahoos use a committee of five to blank the Goofs, 2-0. Adam Eaton scored twice.
Game 7: Jake Arrieta yields only a solo homer and the Wahoos hang on, 2-1.
Game 8: Cameron Rup hits a pinch two-run homer in the 6th to help the Wahoos pull away, 5-2.
Game 9: Wahoos use a 7-run sixth and hit a total of three homers to pull away, 10-3.
Game 10: Wahoos use a walk and three singles (winner from Brandon Crawford) to score the go-ahead run in the seventh. Wahoos win 5-4.

Wahoos 4, Fungoes 1

Wahoos 4, Fungoes 1
(All cards and dice)
Game 1: Wahoos erupt for four runs in the first with 3 doubles and a homer. But it would take a walkoff shot in the 11th from Edwin Encarnacion to win it. Khris Davis finished with two homers. Wahoos win, 7-6.
Game 2: Wahoos again score four in the first, keyed by a Khris Davis homer. They added four more in the seventh on another Davis homer and three-run shot from Kyle Seager. Wahoos win, 9-3.
Game 3: Fungoes use a run in the eighth and another in the ninth to win, 4-3.
Game 4: Justin Verlander allowed four hits in eight innings and combined with two relievers to help the Wahoos hang on for a 1-0 victory. Sean Rodriguez homered off David Price for the game's only run.
Game 5: Clayton Kershaw threw his final 6 innings of the season. He allowed 4 runs but avoided the loss when the Fungoes scored 6 runs in the top of the 7th. The Wahoos answered with 6 in the bottom of the inning and sent 12 men to the plate to retake the lead. Wahoos win, 10-7.

Wahoos 6, Drillers 4

Wahoos 6, Drillers 4
(All cards and dice)
Game 1: Wahoos score in the first but not again. Drillers win, 4-1
Game 2: Wahoos again score in the first, this time four times. A combo of Jose Fernandez and friends limite the Drillers to 1 run. Wahoos win, 5-1.
Game 3: Drillers jump out to a 4-0 lead and Shaw holds off a ninth-inning rally by striking out tying run Kyle Seager. Drillers win, 5-2.
Game 4: Back to The Reservation. Drillers jump to a quick 4-0 lead in the second. They make it 10-4 in the fourth. Wahoos take the lead, 11-10 in the sixth and five relievers hold the Drillers scoreless the rest of the way. Wahoos hit five homers including two by Khris Davis.
Game 5: Drillers start scoring again early but hang on this time, 9-1.
Game 6: First batter of the game scores for the Wahoos. As it turns out, they didn't score again until walking off in the ninth thanks to a single by Lorenzo Cain to score pinch runner Roman Quinn. Justin Verlander allows two hits in 8 innings.
Game 7: Jake Arrieta and friends scatter 8 hits to blank the Drillers, 3-0. Khris Davis scored twice and drove in a run.
Game 8: Wahoos explode for 6 runs in the seventh to erase a 2-run deficit. Sean Rodriguez homered, drove in four and tallied four hits.
Game 9: Wahoos answer the Drillers 2 runs in the top of the first with 3 of their own. Turns out, that was it for the scoring. The go-ahead run came in on a bases-loaded HBP to Sean Rodriguez.
Game 10: Drillers erased a two-run deficit with 3 runs in the eighth. Wahoos had chances in the ninth after Khris Davis drew a leadoff walk. With one out instead of Marcel Ozuna hitting for himself, Hyun Soo Kim pinch hit and got a single. Ozuna would have homered. Not to be...Drillers win, 4-3.

Buckeyes 4, Wahoos 1

Buckeyes take 4 of 5 to finish up with Wahoos using dice and cards.

7/10 Buckeyes 8 Wahoos 2 - Buckeyes score 4 in 1st and 3 more in second to stake Happ to a 7-0 lead. Ramirez and Turner homer in 1st and 2nd respectively

7/11 Buckeyes 5 Wahoos 4 - Wahoos tie it in 9th with a run to make it 4-4 only to have Gattis hit a solo homer to walk off in 10th

8/16 Buckeyes 9 Wahoos 8 - Buckeyes get 2 in 8th to tie it at 4-4 and the 5 in 9th on homers by Kinsler and Gattis. Wahoos make a game of things with 4 in bottom of 9th but come up a run short

8/17 Wahoos 5 Buckeyes 3 - Wahoos get a 3 run homer off Phelps in 6th and hold on for the win

8/18 Buckeyes 3 Wahoos 0 - Santana pitches his last 5 1/3 of the year and along with 4 relievers get the shutout. Buckeyes get 3 runs on just 2 hits. Homers by Kinsler and Galvis.

Wahoos 5, Warpigs 2

Cards and dice.
Vindictive, heartless dice.

First 5 games at The BallPork

Game 1 - Wahoos win 4-2. Ender Inciarte leads off the game with a homer. The Pigs get 3 hits in that 1st inning. Their next hit came in the 8th inning. Justin Verlander gets the win.

Game 2 - Wahoos win 8-1. The first 8 batters in the top of the 3rd inning reach base for the Wahoos. Good thing this is a pitcher's park. Marco Estrada gets the win.

Game 3 - Warpigs win 4-3. This should have been another Wahoo win. Verlander had a no-hitter thru 7 innings. Amazingly, he lost the no-hit bid to a pinch hit homer by Francisco Liriano leading off the 8th. A failed squeeze bunt attempt later in the inning kept the Wahoos on top 2-1. They added an unearned run the next inning and led 3-1 going to the bottom of the 9th. With 2 outs and 2 on, Zach Britton was called on to get the last out. Yasmany Tomas pinch hit and blasted a 3-run, walk off homer. Pigs win a game!

Game 4 - Warpigs win 6-5. The Warpigs yanked shitty Carlos Rodon from the game in the 4th. The Wahoos waited until the 5th to pull shitty Mike Foltynewicz. That was the difference as the Pigs hung on. Raisel Iglesias earned his 20th save.

Game 5 - Wahoos win 2-0. The game was scoreless going to the 9th when Brandon Crawford singled home both Wahoo runs. Jake Arrieta and company shut down the Warpigs on 5 singles.

Last 2 games played at The Reservation

Game 6 - Wahoos win 7-4. The Warpigs led 4-2 going to the bottom of the 8th when the Hoos hammered 2 homers, 2 doubles, and 2 singles in the first 7 batters of the inning. I hate this park.

Game 7 - Wahoos win 10-1. No, I fucking hate this park. This time it was the 5th inning when the Wahoos reached base with 7 straight batters. But the big story of this game was Weekend at Bernies, who struck out 19, missing the chance at the 20th when the Pigs were nailed trying to steal 3rd to end the game. "I should have just held onto the ball," said dejected catcher Cameron Rupp. "It didn't dawn on me until it was too late that maybe he was trying to get thrown out so my dead pitcher couldn't strike out 20. I'm so depressed now I think I'll go out boating tonight."

Strat Weekend in Lexington

I'm hoping we get some stories back from the Strat-O-Palooza weekend in Lexington because all I have to report are the results.

Tweeners 5, Goofs 2 (the pre-weekend warm-up series played vs the Goof CM)
Sidewinders 8, Nads 2 (computer games, I'm guessing)
Mavs 4, Tweeners 1 (cards and dice would be the guess here)
Mavs 9, Nads 1
Tweeners 6, Warpigs 4 (via TeamViewer)
Sidewinders 6, Mavs 4
Mavs 8, Killer Bees 2

Warpigs 3, Buckeyes 2

The Buckeyes' day at the golf course was cut short by rain, so they made the short drive over to the PigSty to roll our final 5 games.

Game 1 @ The Buckeye Bandbox - Buckeyes 5, Warpigs 2. Joe Ross, who still sucks, gave up 2 more 1st inning runs, setting the stage for the Buckeye win. J.A. Happ went 6 innings for the win. The Buckeyes had 11 hits, 2 of which left the yard. Logan Forsythe homered for the Pigs.

Game 2 @ The Buckeye/Trump Tower - Warpigs 4, Buckeyes 3. Starlin Castro hit a 3-run homer in the 5th inning, and the Pig pitchers held on for the win. The Buckeyes scored 2 in the 9th and had the tying run on 2nd when Raisel Iglesias recorded the final out. Forsythe stayed hot for the Pigs with 3 hits. Garrett Richards went 7.2 innings for the win, allowing only 2 hits.

Game 3 @ The Buckeye Horseshoe  - Buckeyes 7, Warpigs 6. The score was 6-6 after only 2 innings, then the pitching took over. The only other run scored - the winning run - was a Justin Bour homer in the 7th. Or was it Carlos Santana? Trumbo? I don't remember, but ONE of those bashers went yard off of Michael Wacha. J.T. Realmuto had 4 hits for the Warpigs, and Chris Carter homered.

Game 4 @ The BallPork - Warpigs 4, Buckeyes 2. Jake Lamb had a homer and an RBI double to pace the Pigs. Kendall Graveman (3-12) shut down the powerful Buckeyes, holding them to 4 hits over 7 innings and just 1 earned run. Raisel Iglesias got the last 5 outs for the save.

Game 5 @ The BallPork - Warpigs 3, Buckeyes 1. Mallex Smith hit his 1st homer of the year, a 2-run shot in the 2nd inning. Adam Wainwright and 3 relievers held the Buckeyes to 5 hits. Iglesias got the save. Ender Inciarte had 4 hits.

Warpigs 6, Inmates 4

Cards and dice at the Baptist Bowl:

Evil Empire 6 – LDMF 4

Editor's Notes in yellow.

Pigs 8 – Inmates 7 (12 innings – BallPork): A beautiful day for a ballgame, except that the Pigs won. Continuing a trend that started against the Fungi, Altuve continued his hot streak and went 0-4 with three Ks. Cargo hit a one-out homer in the Inmate 9^th to send the game into extra innings. The LDMF then showed up in force, scratching out one measly hit for the rest of the game. Johnson allowed a bunch of hits to a bunch of nameless mother-fuckers in the 12^th to throw away any chance for a win.

The Warpigs scored 3 times in the 1st inning thanks to 4 walks and a homer from Yasmany Tomas. Logan Forsythe went 4-6, with 3 of the hits bringing in runs. Starlin Castro had the walk off single to score Ender Inciarte, who had singled and stole second (after not being held). Raisel Iglesias (5-1) threw the final 3.1 innings for the win.

Pigs 2 – LDMF 1 (BallPork): A great pitching duel between five Pig pitchers and Quintana/Jeffress. The LDMF inhaled vociferously and scored only a single unearned run in the 3^rd. Shitfuck.

Anthony DeSclafani (8-4) allowed only an unearned run in 6 innings. Alex Wilson finished up for his 6th save. The two Pig runs scored in the 5th inning on a 2-run double by Tomas.

LDMF 3 – Pigs 2 (Baptist Bowl): Both teams squandered multiple scoring opportunities and left a multitude of baserunners.  Segura’s bases-loaded single in the Inmate 9^th mercifully ended the game.

Hunter Pence had 3 hits, and Jake Lamb homered. The Warpigs stranded 9 runners in scoring position. Grrr.

Inmates 10 – Pigs 3 (Baptist Bowl): The Inmates teed off on Joe Ross in the 1^st, scoring seven runs highlighted by two-run taters by Cargo, Cespedes, and Altuve (who actually got three hits in the game!). Davies went the distance for the victory, and the Inmates got to save a few ABs with some players.

Logan Forsythe and Jarrett Parker homered for the Pigs. Joe Ross sucks.

Pigs 1 – NDMF 0 (10 innings - BallPork): Wainwright and company tossed a five-hit shutout for the second extra-inning win of the series for the Porkers. A great Inmate pitching performance was ruined by absolute hitting ineptitude.

Waino scattered 4 hits over 8 innings. Iglesias (6-1) got another win. The game winner was a double by Mitch Moreland to score the pinch runner Joe Ross, who sucks.

Pigs 5 – LDMF 3 (BallPork): Solo Inmate taters by Jones and Valbuena failed to mask another LDMF lack of offense, managing only six hits off of an ept (?!) Pig pen. Pineda took the well-deserved loss.

The Warpigs only had 8 hits themselves, but they all came in the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th innings. Starlin Castro homered.

Inmates 5 – Pigs 4 (BallPork): A close game, singularly unexciting, except the Beakless Chicken Gang pulled out a win (finally).

Joe Ross, who sucks, gave up 3 runs in the 1st and 2 more in the 4th. The Pigs tried to come back, scoring 2 in the 7th on a pinch hit triple by Andrew Toles, and 2 more in the 8th on a 2-run double by Yuli Gurriel. The Pigs got the tying run to third in the 9th but couldn't plate him.

Pigs 8 – LDMF 5 (Baptist Bowl): It looked closer than it was, thanks to a two-run homer by Martinez in the 9^th. Otherwise, Davies took it for the team and pitched a CG, allowing five homers to a usually impotent Pig lineup. Fuckshit.

The Pig homers were by Chris Carter (2), J.T. Realmuto, Forsythe (who enjoyed Inmate pitching all day long), and Castro. The Castro homer was special - a called shot. Me: "I should probably bunt here even though he's a D-bunter, but I feel like it's time for him to roll 3-4 again." Bam! 3-4. The HEAD INMATE was not happy. And while that was pretty much true all day, called homers are apparently frowned upon.

Pigs 4 – LDMF 3 (15 innings – Baptist Bowl): The third extra-inning loss of the series for the Dickless Wonders. A Cargo two-run single in the bottom of the 9^th raised the hopes of both Baptist Bowl faithful, only to be dashed by total incompetence for the rest of the game.

The Pigs' 3rd extra inning win of the day, but the first one on the road. Mallex Smith got the game-winning hit in the 15th, but the star of the game was Raisel Iglesias (7-1), who threw 6.1 innings of relief - the last 1.1 while fatigued - and struck out 10. An additional tip of the cap to Luis Severino, who, despite his Zit-worthy card, came on in relief of a tired Iglesias to get the red hot Anthony Rizzo for the final out to save the game.

Inmates 6 – Pigs 4 (Baptist Bowl): Sanchez hit a two-out pinch grand-slam in the Inmate 5^th to end the scoring for the game. Segura hit a two-run shot in the 3^rd, and the Inmates survived Manaea’s self-immolation attempt to salvage the series finale.

Joe Ross, who sucks, took his 3rd loss of the day, allowing all 6 runs. David Freese went 3-3 and Hunter Pence homered.

The Inmates outscored the Pigs on the day by 2, but the Pigs outhomered the Inmates by 1. I'm pretty sure without Joe Ross, who sucks, the Pigs could have gone 10-0. Ross lost 3 games, and his dugout presence was most likely responsible for the other one.