Sidewinders 1, Mavs 1

In the much ballyhooed Battle of the Jeds, the Mavs came to Stanley for a short 2 game September series. The first 15 fans got a Jed Clampett bobble head and Flatt and Scruggs played between innings.

9/10 JA Happ handed the game over to the bullpen with a 4-2 SSWs lead. Chapman proceeded to shit his pants and the Mavs hold on for 5-4 victory. Soria got the save.

9/11   Paxton/Osuna/Rivero one hit the Mavs. Bruce homers twice and the Snakes win 5-0

Inmates 8, Mavs 2

Inmates 8 – Mavs 2 (human-managed computer)

Inmates 5 – Mavs 0 (Baptist Bowl): Wood tossed a three-hit shutout and Santana continued his torrid hitting with another homer.

Mavs 16 – Inmates 8 (Baptist Bowl): The Revenge of the Mavs. After generating no offense whatsoever in the series opener the Rastafarians put up a five-spot before allowing the Inmates to come to bat. Although the Inmates clawed back to get within 10-7, the Mavs put the spurs to the offense and put the Baptist Bowl Choralaires out of their misery. Harper hit two of the Mavs’ five spuds. Santana homered for the fourth consecutive game for the Inmates.

Inmates 5 – Mavs 3 (Baptist Bowl): A tie game until Rizzo hit a two-run homer for the Inmates in the 8^th. Pazos took the loss. Yonder “Babe” Alonzo jacked one for the MavMen.

Inmates 8 – Mavs 7 (RastaDome): Santana hit two more homers, the Inmates managed a run via small-ball in the 8^th to break a 7-7 tie, and the Mavs lost another close game.

Mavs 6 – Inmates 3 (RastaDome): “Babe” Alonzo’s three-run tater in the 7^th broke a 3-3 tie and iced the game for the Mavs. Bradley (twice) and Correa also homered for the Rastafarians.

Inmates 6 – Mavs 5 (Baptist Bowl): The fourth consecutive close game was won by the Inmates in the 7^th when Rosario hit his second solo homer of the game to break a 5-5 tie.

Inmates 5 – Mavs 3 (Baptist Bowl): Martinez and Santana homered for the Inmates, who built a 5-0 lead and then hung on for the win. Lamet pitched a complete game for the Mavs.

Inmates 9 – Mavs 4 (RastaDome): A close 5-4 game was blown open in the 9^th when the Inmates put a four-spot on the board. Martinez and the torrid Santana were among the Inmates to spud. Chirinos drove in three of the Mavs’ runs.

Inmates 10 – Mavs 9 (RastaDome): The misery continued for the Mavs when Wilson Ramos hit his second homer of the game in the 9^th to break a 9-9 tie. Three Mav homers were wasted in the loss.

Inmates 6 – Mavs 3 (RastaDome): The series finale changed nothing for the Mavs, as the Inmates built a 6-0 lead after three innings and then coasted. Segura and Cespedes homered for the Beakless Chicken Gang, while the Inmate bullpen pitched a perfect 7^th, 8^th, and 9^th.

Goofs vs Rhinos and Mavs

Goofs go 5-5 versus Rhinos and 4-6 versus Mavs

Buckeyes vs Mavs, Wahoos, and Snakes

Buckeyes 11 Mavs 3

Buckeyes 6 Wahoos 4

Buckeyes 2 Snakes 4

Mavs 5, Fungoes 5

The Mavs and Fungoes played ten games side by side today that were far too ugly for either team to comment on so we’ll leave it to Hal.

4/7:  Dan Straily went 7 strong innings as the Waxahachie Fungoes beat the Midlothian Mavs by a score of 4 to 0.  Straily(1-0) escaped virtually unscathed against the Midlothian hitters.  He didn't allow much, just 2 hits and 1 walk in 7 innings.  Waxahachie ended up with 10 hits for the game while Midlothian had 3.  Jason Hammel(2-7) was hit with the loss.  He surrendered 7 hits and no walks in 6 innings.

4/8:  Matt Harvey delivered 7 solid innings and Eric Hosmer went yard and had 3 RBI as the Waxahachie Fungoes bested the dreadful Midlothian Mavs 4 to 2 at WTF Field.  Waxahachie tallied 2 runs in the 6th inning.  The crucial at-bat was provided by Hosmer who made the crowd happy when he clubbed a two-run home run. Midlothian was set down quietly in the 9th.   Harvey(1-0) went 7 innings allowing 2 runs for the victory. David Robertson gained credit for his 1st save.  Carlos Carrasco(3-5) took the loss.  He surrendered only 3 runs and 4 hits in 7 innings.  

4/9:  At WTF Field, the Waxahachie fans witnessed a great pitcher's duel.  Carlos Martinez(2-4) finally bested his Waxahachie opposite, Joe Musgrove(0-1), by the score of 3 to 0.  Martinez contributed a very nicely pitched game.  He was stingy on the mound, allowing just 4 hits and 1 walk in 7 and 1/3 innings.  Both teams' bats went to sleep after the 3rd inning with no runs scored after that point.  Musgrove was charged with the loss.  He pitched 6 innings giving up 5 hits and 2 walks.

5/19:  At Juan Gonzalez Field the Midlothian Mavs outscored the Waxahachie Fungoes 6 to 3.  Waxahachie never recovered after Midlothian took the lead in the 2nd inning as they scored 2 runs on 2 base hits.  Waxahachie was set down quietly in the 9th.  Dinelson Lamet(2-2) went 6 innings allowing 2 runs for the victory. Lamet got help from Mychal Givens who was credited with his 4th save.  Ian Kennedy(0-1) suffered the loss.  He surrendered 4 homeruns in his 5 innings.  The win by Midlothian is a very welcome one as they have been struggling in recent days.  Their record now stands at 16-44 - only 2-8 in their last ten games.  With the loss Waxahachie now has a record of 2-2.

5/20:  In a close game the Waxahachie Fungoes got by the pathetic Midlothian Mavs by the score of 10 to 8.  Will Harris(1-0) slammed the door shut in an excellent relief performance.  He did not allow a baserunner in his 1 inning.  A wild affair, this game saw the lead change 5 times.  David Robertson gained credit for his 2nd save.  The losing pitcher was Joakim Soria(0-3) in relief.  His ERA ballooned from 3.93 to 4.58 as he allowed 3 runs in 1 and 1/3 innings.  

6/16:  In a good matchup it was the Waxahachie Fungoes 6, the lifeless [oh really?  This is the best we’ve played all year] Midlothian Mavs 3 at WTF Field.   Waxahachie wasted no time and took the lead in the first inning when they scored 2 runs on 3 hits.  David Robertson pitched a perfect ninth to earn his 3rd save.  German Marquez(1-0) was the winner allowing 2 runs in 6 innings. Jason Hammel(2-8) took the loss.  He allowed 10 hits and 2 walks in 6 innings.  

6/17:  Left fielder Starling Marte had 2 base hits and 2 RBI as the Midlothian Mavs beat the Waxahachie Fungoes by a score of 2 to 1.  Waxahachie found themselves trailing quickly as the Midlothian bats came through in the first inning when they scored 2 runs on 3 hits.  That was all the runs Carlos Carrasco(4-5) needed.  Midlothian finished with 7 hits in the victory.  Carrasco was helped out by Mychal Givens who recorded his 5th save.  Lance McCullers(0-1) was tagged with the loss.  He was a hard-luck loser, pitching 6 innings and not allowing an earned run.  

8/9:  In a close game the Midlothian Mavs got by the Waxahachie Fungoes by the score of 4 to 2. Midlothian had 3 runs cross the plate in the bottom of the 6th inning when they came up with 4 base hits.  It was enough scoring to earn the victory. Waxahachie threatened in the 9th but Midlothian was able to put down the rally.  The win was credited to Jason Hammel(3-8) who went 6 and 1/3 innings allowing 1 run. Mychal Givens recorded his 6th save.  The losing pitcher was German Marquez(1-1).   Despite losing Waxahachie's manager was optimistic after the game.  'We'll get over this one.  Sometimes the breaks fall your way, sometimes they don't.  Any one of a dozen little things go different, and we come out on top.'  Midlothian now has a record of 17-46.  With the loss, Waxahachie has a record of 4-3 lately, 4-3 overall.

8/10:  Bryce Harper homered and had 3 RBI at Juan Gonzalez Field as the Midlothian Mavs beat the Waxahachie Fungoes 8 to 3.  Waxahachie was unable to recover after Midlothian went ahead in the 2nd inning when they tallied 2 runs on 2 hits.  Midlothian had 10 hits for the night.  Carlos Carrasco(5-5) got credit for the victory, pitching 6 and 2/3 innings and allowing 3 runs. Ian Kennedy(0-2) ended up with the loss.  Midlothian scored big getting 7 runs off him in 4 innings.  With this win, Midlothian has a 19-46 record.  They have been 5-5 lately. With the loss, Waxahachie has a record of 4-5 lately, 4-5 overall.

8/11:  Lance McCullers mowed down 11 Midlothian batters as the Waxahachie Fungoes beat the woeful [there just aren’t enough adjectives for this] Midlothian Mavs by a score of 2 to 0.  McCullers(1-1) was tremendous on the mound for Waxahachie.  He didn't allow much, just 3 hits and no walks in 7 innings.  Waxahachie had only 6 hits for the game.  McCullers was helped out by David Robertson who recorded his 4th save.  Carlos Martinez(2-5) ended up with the loss.  He allowed 2 runs and 5 hits in 6 and 1/3 innings.  'Everything felt great' McCullers said. 'I had a good fastball, I felt I could throw it by everybody today.'

Mavs Trade Two Relievers to the Warpigs

The Mavs traded relievers Justin Wilson and Pedro Strop to the Warpigs for Francisco Liriano and a reserve. The teams will also swap 2019 picks, with the Mavs getting the Pig 4th and sending the previously attained Pig 5th back to Hooterville.

Wilson and Strop are much-needed components for a weak PigPen, while the reloading Mavs acquire their 7th reserve.

Mavs Pick Up Another Reserve

The Inmates traded a reserve and pick 105 to the Mavs for pick 62.

First Trade of 2018

The Fungoes traded their 6th round pick in 2019 to the Mavs for Jonathan Lucroy.

Lucroy joins Sal Perez to give the Fungoes almost 900 at bats at catcher. And where Perez gives the Fungi homer chances, Lucroy gives them walks. Together, they make a formidable backstop.

The Mavs, on the other hand, will be busy during the 2019 draft, having now picked up an extra 1st, 5th, and 6th.

Justin Upton Joins the Champs

The Sidewinders obtained Justin Upton from the Mavs today. The leftfielder was a costly acquisition, as the Snakeman gave up Michael Brantley, Starling Marte, and Matt Moore. "We've reached the point where winning the AWD isn't enough - we know that's going to happen," said the Snakeman. "We can only have a successful season if we win it all. And Upton will help us do that."

How do you want your eggs?

Odorizzi.

The Mavs traded Jake Odorizzi to the Warpigs for a 5th round pick in the 2019 Draft. Jake comes back to Hooterville after three years in Midlothian. "I was going to be the #6 guy for the Mavs," said Odorizzi, "but I'll be #4 for the Pigs, so yeah, I'm excited about going home. I guess. Whatever. It's a business." Warpig management was equally excited because it means John Lackey slides down to the probable cuts list.

Felipe Rivero to the Sidewinders

The best bullpen in NASOMA just got better. The Mavs traded lefty Felipe Rivero to the Sidewinders for a reserve pick in 2018 and a 1st round pick in 2019.

Mavs 6, Inmates 4

Via TeamViewer:

Inmates 19 – Mavs 2 (Baptist Bowl): Holy Shit, Batman! The Inmates had innings of seven and eight runs, hit four taters (including a grand-slammer by Castro) and had excellent pitching. The Mavs garnered four hits and had shitty pitching. All-in-all, a portent of things to come in a wacky and bizarre series.

Mavs 10 – Inmates 0 (Baptist Bowl): The LDMF made a return to the friendly confines, with crappy pitching by Davies and a total lack of offense. C. Martinez and the Mav bullpen combined on a five-hit shutout. Davis homered twice; only Upton of the Mav starters failed to get a hit.

Inmates 3 – Mavs 0 (Juan Gonzalez Field): A pitchers’ duel (!!), with the Mavs gaining only two hits as the Inmates returned the shutout favor. Hector Sanchez hit a pinch homer, but otherwise not too much happened.

Mavs 3 – Inmates 2 (Juan Gonzalez Field): The Mavs jumped out to a 3-0 lead after three, then hung on as the lack of offense by both teams continued. Bush earned the save despite allowing a 612-foot homer to Cespedes in the top of the 9^th.

Inmates 10 – Mavs 0 (Juan Gonzalez Field): Quintana pitched a no-hitter into the 8^th and the Inmates pounded Odorizzi for the third shutout in five games between the two teams. The only Mav hit came when Gyorko hit a 5-8 off of Quintana’s card (he missed the 1-18 double and settled for a single). Four Mav errors compounded the misery.

Mavs 6 – Inmates 1 (Baptist Bowl): Holding a 1-0 lead into the 5^th, Manaea ran out of innings and hit the floor. After the Inmate Arson Squad took over all hell broke loose - the Inmates stopped hitting, and rolled over to play dead. C. Martinez earned the W for the Mavs.

Mavs 7 – Inmates 6 (13 innings – Baptist Bowl): In a game where Inmate starter Gray hit the floor at the end of the third inning, both teams decided this would be the perfect time to have an extra-inning marathon to drain the bullpens and try to run out of ABs and IPs. Compounding the “duh-ness,” the Mavs’ winning scored in the 13^th on a Gyorko double-play ball.

Inmates 8 – Mavs 7 (Baptist Bowl): The wind was blowing out at gale-force strength, giving most of the 90 Inmate attendees a souvenir baseball. The Inmates hit three homers on the day, while the Mavs managed SEVEN solo shots. An impressive, if futile, power display in a game that was to be the last Inmate regular-season victory. Quintana won his 19^th of the year despite allowing four bombs.

Mavs 7 – Inmates 1 (Juan Gonzalez Field): Can you say roll-over and surrender? The Mavs totally out-pitched and out-hit the LDMF. ‘Nuff said.

Mavs 2 – Inmates 1 (Juan Gonzalez Field): Quintana, in a bid for his 20^th win, held the Mavs scoreless through six when he ran out of innings and left the game leading 1-0. Never fear, Mav fans. AJ Ramos allowed two runs on two hits and a walk in 1/3 inning for a stellar Blown Save/Loss/Eat Me stat line.

Mavs 5, Skyscrapers 2

The Mavs bus of strippers, coaches and players rolled in to Gotham City to play the skyscrapers via CM.   Return with us first to those halcyon days of the spring of 2017 when it looked like 2018 would be a great year for the Mavs; long before Yahoo sent a daily message saying “there are issues with your fantasy baseball roster”.  The strippers wore better make up then although that is a waste because no one looks at their faces anyway.

 

4/16:  Odorizzi  vs.Cole Hamels.  Throwing out the first pitch is the First Lady of the United States here on Mail Order Bride night in Gotham.  Unfortunately with the First Lady here security was increased so this game is being played in front of Secret Service and the First Lady and the bobble heads of the shapely Russian woman will go undistributed.  Justin Upton starts the scoring with a 1-13 homer in the top of the fourth.  A bit confused the First Lady was heard to shout “Goooooaaaaaalllll”.  Through six the score was 1-0 with both teams squandering many chances when in the top of the seventh Chris Davis hit his 37^th homerun to give the Mavs a 2-0 lead.  The First Lady didn’t even look up from the eBay selection of toupees she was perusing.  In the bottom of the eighth Carlos Hernandez hit a triple to drive in one and Ellsbury followed with a double to tie it.  A Machado single gave the Scrapers a lead and a Jose Bootista double finished the Mavs off.  Scrapers win 4-2.  Hernandez wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game going 3-4 with the Game Winning Hit (although that isn’t a stat anymore).

 

4/17:  Hammel vs. long time transvestite Kevin Gausman.  It is Village People day here in Gotham.  I can’t begin to describe the bobble head.  Hammel gives up three in the bottom of the first because he sucks which is appropriate on this night.  Chris Davis hits his 38^th with a man on in the top of the second.  Jedd Gyorko hits his 28^th with a man on in the top off the fifth and the Mavs tack on two more including a rare play where Jackie Bradley rounded first too far on a hit.  Third time this year.  I suppose that is kind of rare.  Mavs up 6-3.  In the top of the sixth Harper hits his 24^th with a man on.  8-3 Mavs.  In the top of the seventh the Mavs put Wong in and you should hear the cheers from the Gotham fans.  He doubles but the Mavs leave him hanging.  Mavs win 8-3 and Harper wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game going 3-5 with a homer, two runs scored and 2 driven in.

 

4/18:  Hellickson vs. Grienke in a game that the Mavs will likely just mail in.  Oh the humanity.  The Scrapers open the scoring stringing two hits and a grounder in to a run.  The Mavs get one back but Hellickson allows three right back and it is Scrapers 4-1 after three and the Mavs have their fingers hovering over EQA because there is only so many Hellickson starts that a sober man can watch.  Throwing caution to the wind the Mavs continue on a batter at a time and are rewarded with three consecutive innings where they hit in to double plays.  But wait, in the immortal words of Slim Pickens “what in the wide, wide world of sports is a-going on here”, the Mavs take the lead on a HBP, x-chart hit and Chris Davis homer in the top of the eighth.  Davis making a bid for the Betty’s Brothel Blow of the Game hit another straight out off of his card vs. Ryan Dull with two outs.  This would be exciting except I’ve seen the Mavs bullpen in action too many times.  But Strop works around two walks in the eighth and the Mavs take a lead in to the ninth and the Mavs survive forgetting to get Castellanos off the field with a lead in the ninth.  5-4 Mavs.  Davis indeed wins the Betty’s Brothel Blow of the Game.

 

4/19:  Tsunami Martinez vs. Klubot.  Yikes!  Thank goodness only the strippers and girlfriends are allowed to travel with the Mavs.  The wives and children shouldn’t see this.  Through five neither team can score.  Heck the Mavs can’t even get a hit.  In the sixth, Wong and Harper get hits and Correa doubles them both home and a two out single tacks on a run.  In the seventh Wong and Harper get hits again and Jackie F. Bradley singles home one more.  4-0 Mavs.   An error by Martinez gives the Scrapers a run in the eighth.  Carlos Correa hits his 20^th homer with a man on in the ninth.  Mavs lead 6-1 in the ninth.  A hit, walk and two errors later and Goldy is at the plate as the tying run against Matt Bush.  Ballpark homer 1-5 off Goldy’s card and he gets it.  Tie game.  In the top of the eleventh, defensive replacement at third Jedd Gyorko hits a 3-6 homer off of Broxton.  And this time the Mavs catch the ball.  Mavs win 7-6.  Carlos Correa wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game going 2-4 and driving in four.

 

4/20:  In game five of the four game series it is Cotton vs. Scherzer.  Brad Miller hits his 25^th homer in the second and the Mavs lead 2-0.  Castellanos adds a ballpark tater and it is 4-0 going to the bottom of the seventh.  Lucroy doubles in one more in the eighth.  Cotton throws a five hitter, walking one and striking out seven winning the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game.  5-0 Mavs.

 

9/18:  In a game sponsored wholly by Betty’s Brothel everyone is eligible (the slogan down at Betty’s) and the starters are Tsunami and Klubot.  Correa hits a two run homer bringing in Wong (another slogan at Betty’s) to start the scoring in the third.  A single and stolen base by Correa followed by a Jackie F. Bradley two out single give the Mavs a 3-0 lead going to the bottom of the fifth.  Meanwhile through six the Scrapers do not have a hit.  In the seventh with two out Kipnis lines a solid single and the Gotham fans don’t even clap.  Eastern elitist bastards.  Chris Davis hits another straight out homer off his card and the Mavs lead 4-0.  Lucroy singles and still Kluber soldiers on – Hal is a sadist.  Paul Goldschmidt hits a three run homer off of Martinez in the ninth chasing him.  The Mavs use three different pitchers to get the last three outs but hang on to win 4-3.  Correa goes three for five with two more extra base hits to win the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game.

 

9/19:  Cookie Carrasco against Max Scherzer in the final game on Nyquil Night.  Kids enjoy the free samples.  Carlos Correa continues his hot hitting with a two run homer in the top of the first.  When will one of these Scraper aces pitch like an ace?  A two out single by Kipnis after a run had already scored gives the Scrapers a 3-2 lead in the bottom of the third.  A Rendon homer in the fourth gives the Scrapers a 4-2 lead and this is beginning to look more like what I expected coming in to this series.  Brad Miller hits a homer 1-3 to bring the Mavs to within one heading in to the bottom of the sixth.  A 6-5 Harper homer ties it in the top of the seventh.  A 3-6 homer by Jackie F. Bradley gives the Mavs the lead.  Once again “what in the wide, wide world of sports is a-going on here”.  And why doesn’t Hal go to that awesome Scrapers bullpen?  I guess because he knows Dickerson is going to hit a two out two run homer in the bottom of the eighth to give the Scrapers the lead.  Hal is a cruel fascist bastard.  Scherzer throws a complete game winning 6-5 and Dickerson wins the Betty’s Brothel Blow of the Game.

Mavs 7, Drillers 7

Both teams screwing up their draft.

Via TeamViewer.

Rhinos 4, Mavs 1

The Rhinos take 4 of 5 via TeamViewer.

2017 Midlothian Mavs At 2017 Belldale Rhinos              7/26/2017

 

Mavs............ 0 0 0  1 0 0  2 0 0  -  3  8  2

Rhinos.......... 0 0 0  4 5 0  0 0    -  9  9  0

Right fielder Wil Myers smashed 2 homeruns and had 6 RBI as the Belldale

Rhinos outscored the Midlothian Mavs 9 to 3.

 

Myers had a great day at the plate.  He had the crowd cheering his every move.

He lost the ball over the fence for three runs in the 4th inning and lofted

a three-run bomb in the 5th inning.  Belldale totaled 9 hits on the

afternoon. 

 

Alex Reyes(1-1) allowed 1 run in 6 innings, and picked up the victory. Julio

Urias was credited with his 1st save.  Jason Hammel(2-7) absorbed the loss.

He surrended 4 homeruns in his 5 and 2/3 innings. 

 

2017 Midlothian Mavs At 2017 Belldale Rhinos              7/27/2017

Mavs............ 0 0 0  0 0 1  0 0 1  -  2  6  1

Rhinos.......... 0 0 3  0 0 0  0 3    -  6  6  1

The Belldale Rhinos bested the Midlothian Mavs by a 6 to 2 score at The Rhino

Reserve.

 

Midlothian never recovered after Belldale took the lead in the bottom of the

3rd inning when they tallied 3 runs on 2 hits.  That early scoring was all

that Aaron Nola(2-1) needed.  Belldale and Midlothian each finished the

afternoon with 6 hits. 

 

Nate Jones recorded the save, his 7th.  Jeremy Hellickson(2-7) was the loser.

He was a hard-luck loser, pitching 5 and 2/3 innings and not allowing an

earned run. 

 

The Belldale ballclub's record now stands at 18-9.  With this loss, Midlothian

has a 4-6 record of late, 39-36 overall.

 

 

BOXSCORE: 2017 Belldale Rhinos At 2017 Midlothian Mavs               9/5/2017

Rhinos.......... 0 0 0  2 0 4  0 0 0  -  6  9  0

Mavs............ 0 1 0  2 4 3  0 0    - 10 15  2

Nick Castellanos slammed a homerun and had 3 RBI at Juan Gonzalez Field where

the Midlothian Mavs beat the Belldale Rhinos by the score of 10 to 6.

 

In the bottom of the 4th inning Midlothian went on top for good when they came

up with 2 runs on 1 hit.  The critical plate appearance was by Jonathan

Lucroy who made the home-town crowd a happy bunch when he smashed a two-run

homer.  Belldale was out-hit by Midlothian, 15 hits to 9. 

 

Pedro Strop(2-0) picked up the victory, allowing 3 runs in 1 and 2/3 innings.

Matt Bush earned the save, his 11th.  Noah Syndergaard(7-2) ended up with the

loss.  He was touched for 3 homeruns in his 5 and 1/3 innings of work. 

 

2017 Belldale Rhinos At 2017 Midlothian Mavs               9/6/2017

Rhinos.......... 4 0 2  6 0 0  2 0 0  - 14 17  0

Mavs............ 3 1 0  3 0 0  1 0 0  -  8 12  0

Shortstop Javier Baez left the yard and had 4 RBI as the Belldale Rhinos

defeated the Midlothian Mavs by the score of 14 to 8 at Juan Gonzalez

Field.

 

Baez was a thorn in the side of the hometown fans as he enjoyed a fine day at

their team's expense.  He singled in the 3rd inning, belted a three-run homer

in the 4th inning and laced a one-base hit in the 6th inning.  Belldale

finished with 17 hits while Midlothian ended up with 12. 

 

Aaron Sanchez(5-2) got the win allowing 8 runs in 7 innings. Jason Hammel(2-8)

was tagged with the loss.  He surrended 3 homeruns in his 5 innings. 

 

2017 Belldale Rhinos At 2017 Midlothian Mavs               9/7/2017

Rhinos.......... 3 0 2  1 0 0  0 0 0  -  6 10  1

Mavs............ 2 0 0  0 0 0  0 0 0  -  2  6  0

Joey Votto jacked one out of the ballyard and had 2 RBI as the Belldale Rhinos

defeated the Midlothian Mavs by a score of 6 to 2 at Juan Gonzalez

Field.

 

Alex Reyes(2-1) delivered a fine performance for Belldale.  He was reached for

2 hits and 3 walks in 5 innings.  After the 4th inning, neither team was able

to score. 

 

Chris Devenski recorded his 2nd save.  Jeremy Hellickson(2-8) ended up with

the loss.  He gave up 10 hits and 2 walks in 8 innings.

Strat Weekend in Lexington

I'm hoping we get some stories back from the Strat-O-Palooza weekend in Lexington because all I have to report are the results.

Tweeners 5, Goofs 2 (the pre-weekend warm-up series played vs the Goof CM)
Sidewinders 8, Nads 2 (computer games, I'm guessing)
Mavs 4, Tweeners 1 (cards and dice would be the guess here)
Mavs 9, Nads 1
Tweeners 6, Warpigs 4 (via TeamViewer)
Sidewinders 6, Mavs 4
Mavs 8, Killer Bees 2

Mavs 3, Goofs 2

The train full of Mav players, fans and hangers on pulled in to Disneyland to face off against the Goofs for two quick games.  Given the short duration of the series, the Mayor of Midlothian was able to make the trip with the permission of his probation officer and duly abiding by the terms of the restraining order granted to Minnie Mouse after last year’s incident.

May 10th:  Carlos Martinez vs. Tanner Roark.  Fresh off a three hitter and a victory in the Mavs annual dwarf tossing contest, Carlos is a sure thing in this game.  The Goofs score first stretching four hits and two stolen bases in to one run in the top of the first.  Through five the Mavs have managed only two hits off of Roark.  The first game after the start of a road trip is tough what with the free beer and fairly inexpensive women on the flight.  By the top of the sixth though most of the alcohol has made it through the players systems and the Mavs push across a tying run.  Alas the running Goofs get a single, steal two bases and score on a flyball B in the bottom of the sixth.  The distraught mayor begins sexting Minnie as the Mavs manage three hits in the top of the ninth without scoring.  The Pabst Blue Ribbon pitcher of the game goes to Tanner Roark who gave up one run in eight innings as the Goofs win 2-1.

May 11th:  James Cotton vs Tanaka Air Bags.  The Goofs start the scoring in the bottom of the 2nd on a 3-5 home run by Young Ho Kang.  The Goofs tack on a run in the third with a single and stolen base and a single.  But JFBradley hits a tater to cut the lead in half in the top of the sixth.  More outs ensue in this Godforsaken wasteland of a ballpark and the Goofs win 2-1.  Time of the game:  six minutes.  The Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game goes to me for having to sit through 18 innings of singles zero, homers zero.  How do the Pigs and Goofs do it?

Now on to the Rastadome where the balls fly as God intended when He created the game.

August 28th:  Tanner Roark vs. Carlos Martinez.  In the bottom of the first Bradley singles, Castellanos doubles, Roark hits the next batter, a brawl ensues – now we’re playing baseball.  In the bottom of the second, the Mavs score four as Gyorko and Correa send Bernice Brewer down the slide.  5-0 Mavs going to the top of the third.  In the bottom of the fifth JF Bradley sends Bernice Brewer back down the slide.  Meanwhile the camera catches a glimpse of a disheveled Minnie Mouse leaving the mayor’s box as all was forgiven between the two after a reasonable sum exchanged hands.  Chris Davis sends a beleaguered Bernice Brewer back down the slide as the fifth continues and Roark grinds it out on the mound.  In the bottom of the sixth, Gyorko walks, Harper triples and the Goofs finally pull Roark after 11 hits, eight earned runs and four homers allowed.  Pagan breaks up the shutout with a homer off of Justin Wilson in the top of the eighth.  The Mavs win 8-1.  The Pabst Blue Ribbon pitcher of the game goes to Carlos Martinez who gave up two hits over 6 2/3’s innings.

August 29th:  Jake Degrom (that is how Hal spells it) vs. Cookie Carrasco.  In the top of the second an X-chart single off of Upton (I should really be grateful he is a 3) leads to two runs for the Goofs.  In the bottom of the third a double off of a Spann X-chart is key in the Mav three run rally.  3-2 after three.  In the bottom of the fourth the Mavs load the bases with two outs.  Carlos Correa steps to the plate after admiring the parabolic silhouette against the setting sun of Bernice Brewer atop the slide.  He pauses to point his bat at her.  This does not impress her much as many bats have pointed up towards her in her time.  Here is the pitch – and Correa grounds the ball to Brandon Phillips who was taken in by the same silhouette and let the ball go between his legs for a run scoring error.  Jackie Bradley stares out at her and takes strike three.  This game will go faster as the sun sets.  Span hits a ball park homer in the top of the fifth to atone for the double he allowed.  Chris Davis sends Bernice back down the slide in the bottom of the fifth.  Later that inning Joseph draws a walk and Upton homers.  Mavs up 7-3 after five.  Brandon Phillips hits a three run homer off of Felipe Rivero in the top of the sixth to cut the lead to 7-6.  The Mavs walk four batters in the seventh to knot the game up.  Tommy Joseph homers.  Mavs back on top 8-7.  The Mavs string together hit after hit to score four runs.  12-7 going to the top of the ninth.  The Mavs hold on to win.  The Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game goes to Tommy Joseph who was 2-3 with two walks, a homer and three RBIs.

August 30th:  Yu Darvish vs. Jake Odorizzi.  Yikes!  Hide the women and children as Odorizzi enters the game having allowed 25 homers in 100 innings.  The Mavs start the scoring in the bottom of the second with a Brad Miller three run ballpark tater.  Carlos Correa follows with a two run ballpark tater of his own a few batters later.  And Jackie Bradley Junior hits one of his own after Correa’s.  Mavs up 6-0 but there is still the Odorizzi effect causing a lot of nervous drinking in the stands.  In the top of the sixth true to form Odorizzi loads the bases with no one out.  The Mavs bring in Justin Wilson to face Kang.  Strikeout.  Left in to face Mauer he gives up a homer 1-8 fly.  Flyball (15).  6-1.  Strop comes in to face Ruiz.  2-9 double.  6-2.  Pagan rolls a 6-10 between the homer and a single to end the rally.  Upton rolls another ballpark tater in the bottom of the sixth.  7-2.  Brad Miller hits a two run ballpark tater in the seventh followed immediately by an Upton ballpark tater.  The Mavs win 10-2.  Brad Miller wins the Betty’s Brothel Blow of the Game for his three run homer in the second that set the tone.

Wahoos 6, Mavs 4

Game stories coming.

Mavs 8, Warpigs 2

Cards and Dice

Games 1,2,3,7,8 @ The RastaDome
Games 4,5,6,9,10 @ The BallPork

Game 1 - Mavs win 12-10 in 11 innings. Jackie Bradley, Jr. blasted a bottom of the 9th, 2-out, grand slam to tie the game. Bryce Harper homered in the 11th to end it. Bradley went 3-4, and Harper was 3-5. J.T. Realmuto homered twice for the Warpigs. J.T. has hit 4 homers on the year, and they happened in 2 games.

Game 2 - Warpigs win 7-4. Carlos Rodon (4-4) went 8.2 innings for the win despite allowing 3 homers - 2 to Danny Valencia. Raisel Iglesias recorded the final out for his 9th save. Logan Forsythe was 3-3 with 3 RBI. Jake Lamb and Starlin Castro homered for the Pigs.

Game 3 - Mavs win 5-3. Jeremy Hellickson got the complete game victory. Harper homered twice for the Mavs.

Game 4 - Warpigs win 4-2. Realmuto and Logan Forsythe both had 3 hits, and Adam Wainwright (6-10) got the win. Iglesias saved his 10th game.

Game 5 - Mavs win 4-2. Jason Hammel and 3 relievers held the Warpigs to 4 hits.

Game 6 - Mavs win 4-3. Tommy Joseph hit two 2-run homers - one in the 1st and another in the 3rd - and that was all the Mavs would get - or need. Hellickson got the win. Chris Carter homered for the Pigs.

Game 7 - Mavs win 14-9. The two teams celebrated returning to the RastaDome by combining for 10 home runs. I don't know who hit all the dingers for the Mavs, but Carter and Yasmany Tomas each hit 2 for the Warpigs. Tomas considered stopping at 3rd on this last homer, as the triple would have given him the cycle, but was convinced to complete the trip around the bases.

Game 8 - Mavs win 6-4. This game was calmer, but there were still 4 homers - 2 from each team.

Game 9 - Mavs win 13-4. In the final two games, the Mavs could do no wrong and the Pigs could no right. The Mavs scored 6 first inning runs and had 17 hits in the pitcher-friendly park. Hammel went 6 for the win.

Game 10 - Mavs win 11-3. Another 4 runs in the 1st inning for the Mavs, who have discovered how to hit left-handed pitching thanks to 8 games vs Carlos Rodon and Daniel Norris in this series. The Mavs had 12 hits and 13(!) walks.

Can't wait to do pitching stats!

Mavs 6, Skyscrapers 1

The Skyscrapers roll in to the wide open spaces of Midlothian to play seven games in the Rastadome vs. the Mavs. 

 

May 30^th:  Grienke vs. Hellickson – and as if it could get any worse the Mavs have to rest Harper, Gyorko and Castellanos due to at bat problems thank goodness it is Tequila Body Shot Night sponsored by Betty’s Brothel or no one would be at the game.  It is 4-0 after three as once again Carlos Correa let two base hits go through and the Skyscrapers hit two taters.  The Mavs battle back to tie it after Chris Davis’s second two out RBI double in the bottom of the fifth and suddenly fans are paying attention at the body bar.  Paul Goldschmidt hits a triple 1 with no one out to lead off the eighth.  Grounder to first.  Intentional walk to Kipnis because Givens is abysmal against lefties.  Oh good, he walks the next righty.  Bases loaded, one out.  2-6 K to Anthony Rendon.   Dickerson up the Mavs counter with K-Rod.  5-7 grounder to first and the Skyscrapers manager Joe Pepitone is seen heading to the body bar.  In his inebrieated state, Pepitone brings in Steve Cishek after Davis hits his third double of the game.  Cishek gives up a 6-5 single to Kolten Wong (because the Godless heathen is weak against righties).  Mavs win 5-4.  The Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game goes to Chris Davis who went 3-3 with 3 RBI’s and scored the winning run.

May31st: Cory Kluber vs.  Carlos Martinez.  Wow Harper and Gyorko are out of the lineup again although it appears that some of the Body Shot Girls from the night before may have more to do with this than rest.  Throwing out the first pitch is the 2015 Grumpy’s Bail Bonds “Bond Girl” – the 2015 calendar is still available by the way http://grumpysbailbonds.com/calendar.php.  Brad Miller hits a 3-6 three run homer in the bottom of the third sending Bernice Brewer down the slide.  Justin Upton hits a 3-10 ballpark tater sending her down the slide again in the bottom of the seventh.  Russell Martin hits a 1-11 ballpark tater in the top of the eighth.  Brad Miller wins the Betty’s Brothel Blow of the Game and six Mav pitchers combine to allow four hits.  5-1 Mavs.

June 1^st:  Well-known neo-Nazi Max Scherzer vs. the beloved inventor of the Everclear Margarita Carlos Carrasco.  Today’s give away is clean urine samples from the good folks at NORML.  Scherzer has a no-hitter until the fifth.  Three singles and two walks later and the first run crosses home plate (credit Mavs incredible base running decisions for that math).  Correa hits a two star single to plate two more.  3-0 going to the sixth.  The Skyscrapers push home a run on a Kipnis ground out in the eighth but it is too little, too late.  The Mavs win 4-1 worsening their draft position.

August 11^th:  Greinke wearing a tasteful Dior gown takes the mound against Hellickson sporting a chic Kate Spade ensemble in our annual Cross-Dresser game.  The Skyscrapers score first with a Rendon two run homer coming despite a broken heel in the top of the second.  Chris Davis sent Bernice Brewer down the slide (thankfully still dressed in her cutoffs and tank top) in the bottom of the second to cut the lead in half.  But Goldy launched a 5-5 homer 1-12 to get the run back in the top of the third.  Goldy blasts a two run homer on a 6-5 off Buchholz and the rout is on.  The Mavs take their purses and head home as the Skyscrapers win 6-1.  Goldy wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game going 2 for 4 with two homers and three RBI’s.

August 8^th:  Kluber vs. Martinez in Occupy Wall Street Remembrance Day.  Anthony Rendon doubles home Jason Kipnis who was on via a 1-2 HBP for the first run in the top of the second.  A spontaneous protest tent camp has sprung up in left field which really can only help Dickerson and Upton (4 and 3 respectively).  The Mavs push home the tying run in the fourth with a walk, the second error of the series by Kipnis (he appears mesmerized by Bernice Brewer’s parabolic splendor), a passed ball by Martin and a grounder.  Chris Davis sends the ever ready Bernice Brewer down the slide with a 3-10 straight out homer in the bottom of the sixth, 2-1 Mavs.  Manny Machado strikes out with the bases loaded in the top of the seventh.  Via a pinch hit in the seventh the Skyscrapers are now playing an all 40 outfield.  Sure enough CF X leads to a run.  Followed by Davis sending Bernice back down the slide.  5-1 Mavs and more homers are hit later.  Mavs win 10-1.  Davis earns the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game hitting two homers and driving in three.

August 9^th:  Scherzer vs. Cookie Carrasco.  Davis sends Bernice down the slide in the bottom of the second.  Apparently his gift from ARod arrived for this series.  Dickerson hits a 6-5 homer off Cookie with a man on in the fourth.  At this point I’d like to point out that Bautista after 4 X-chart tries has yet to give up a hit.  On the other hand Russell Martin has missed two ballpark taters (1-17 here).  Strange series.  With the Skyscrapers up 3-1 and Ryan Dull in Brad Miller leads off the ninth sending Bernice down the slide.  But Dull strikes out Gyorko.  But wait, Lucroy nails a 1-6 triple 1-4.  Who can run for him?  No one because the genius Mavs already used their back up catcher as a pinch hitter.  The Mavs pinch hit their last bench player, Tommy Joseph, who rolls a 3-7 double 1-9.  Since the Mavs are going to lose their DH anyway Carlos Martinez comes in to run for Joseph.  And now that the game is tied, Pepitone brings in Herrera.  Herrera strikes out Heyward (who doesn’t), Pepitone walks Correa to get to Bradley.  But Herrera walks Bradley.  Pepitone brings in Cishek to fan Castellanos.  Extra innings again.  Oh boy.  Bush shuts down the Scrapers in the top of the tenth.  Chris Davis walks.  Miller singles him to third.  And then Cishek sends the ball past Martin to the fence.  Mavs win 4-3.

August 10^th:  Getaway game for the Skyscrapers and believe me they have the bus running.  Cole Hamels against Jake Odorizzi.  Jake has allowed 12 homers in 50 innings so far so it is souvenir baseball day in left field.  Manny Machado hits the first one in the third with a runner on.  Goldschmidt hits the next one with no one on in the fifth.  Triple and an error on a Bautista X (finally got that jerk) leads to the Mavs first run in the bottom of the fifth.  A Valencia walk and a Correa homer later and the game is tied.  Odorizzi gives up a lead off double and Mychael Givens gives up a run scoring single to Rendon.  Scrapers 4-3 after five and half.  Dickerson homered off Strickland to add an insurance run in the top of the eighth.  The Mavs, down two going to the bottom of the ninth, rally and tie it on a two out double by pinchhitter Nick Castellanos off of Ryan Dull.  Oh goody.  Extra innings.  Bush shuts down the Scrapers in the top of the tenth and Justin Upton rolls a 3-6 homer.  Mavs win 6-5 in ten.  Upton earns the Betty’s Brothel Blow of the Game with the game winning home run.