Warpigs 6, Inmates 4

Cards and dice at the Baptist Bowl:

Evil Empire 6 – LDMF 4

Editor's Notes in yellow.

Pigs 8 – Inmates 7 (12 innings – BallPork): A beautiful day for a ballgame, except that the Pigs won. Continuing a trend that started against the Fungi, Altuve continued his hot streak and went 0-4 with three Ks. Cargo hit a one-out homer in the Inmate 9^th to send the game into extra innings. The LDMF then showed up in force, scratching out one measly hit for the rest of the game. Johnson allowed a bunch of hits to a bunch of nameless mother-fuckers in the 12^th to throw away any chance for a win.

The Warpigs scored 3 times in the 1st inning thanks to 4 walks and a homer from Yasmany Tomas. Logan Forsythe went 4-6, with 3 of the hits bringing in runs. Starlin Castro had the walk off single to score Ender Inciarte, who had singled and stole second (after not being held). Raisel Iglesias (5-1) threw the final 3.1 innings for the win.

Pigs 2 – LDMF 1 (BallPork): A great pitching duel between five Pig pitchers and Quintana/Jeffress. The LDMF inhaled vociferously and scored only a single unearned run in the 3^rd. Shitfuck.

Anthony DeSclafani (8-4) allowed only an unearned run in 6 innings. Alex Wilson finished up for his 6th save. The two Pig runs scored in the 5th inning on a 2-run double by Tomas.

LDMF 3 – Pigs 2 (Baptist Bowl): Both teams squandered multiple scoring opportunities and left a multitude of baserunners.  Segura’s bases-loaded single in the Inmate 9^th mercifully ended the game.

Hunter Pence had 3 hits, and Jake Lamb homered. The Warpigs stranded 9 runners in scoring position. Grrr.

Inmates 10 – Pigs 3 (Baptist Bowl): The Inmates teed off on Joe Ross in the 1^st, scoring seven runs highlighted by two-run taters by Cargo, Cespedes, and Altuve (who actually got three hits in the game!). Davies went the distance for the victory, and the Inmates got to save a few ABs with some players.

Logan Forsythe and Jarrett Parker homered for the Pigs. Joe Ross sucks.

Pigs 1 – NDMF 0 (10 innings - BallPork): Wainwright and company tossed a five-hit shutout for the second extra-inning win of the series for the Porkers. A great Inmate pitching performance was ruined by absolute hitting ineptitude.

Waino scattered 4 hits over 8 innings. Iglesias (6-1) got another win. The game winner was a double by Mitch Moreland to score the pinch runner Joe Ross, who sucks.

Pigs 5 – LDMF 3 (BallPork): Solo Inmate taters by Jones and Valbuena failed to mask another LDMF lack of offense, managing only six hits off of an ept (?!) Pig pen. Pineda took the well-deserved loss.

The Warpigs only had 8 hits themselves, but they all came in the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th innings. Starlin Castro homered.

Inmates 5 – Pigs 4 (BallPork): A close game, singularly unexciting, except the Beakless Chicken Gang pulled out a win (finally).

Joe Ross, who sucks, gave up 3 runs in the 1st and 2 more in the 4th. The Pigs tried to come back, scoring 2 in the 7th on a pinch hit triple by Andrew Toles, and 2 more in the 8th on a 2-run double by Yuli Gurriel. The Pigs got the tying run to third in the 9th but couldn't plate him.

Pigs 8 – LDMF 5 (Baptist Bowl): It looked closer than it was, thanks to a two-run homer by Martinez in the 9^th. Otherwise, Davies took it for the team and pitched a CG, allowing five homers to a usually impotent Pig lineup. Fuckshit.

The Pig homers were by Chris Carter (2), J.T. Realmuto, Forsythe (who enjoyed Inmate pitching all day long), and Castro. The Castro homer was special - a called shot. Me: "I should probably bunt here even though he's a D-bunter, but I feel like it's time for him to roll 3-4 again." Bam! 3-4. The HEAD INMATE was not happy. And while that was pretty much true all day, called homers are apparently frowned upon.

Pigs 4 – LDMF 3 (15 innings – Baptist Bowl): The third extra-inning loss of the series for the Dickless Wonders. A Cargo two-run single in the bottom of the 9^th raised the hopes of both Baptist Bowl faithful, only to be dashed by total incompetence for the rest of the game.

The Pigs' 3rd extra inning win of the day, but the first one on the road. Mallex Smith got the game-winning hit in the 15th, but the star of the game was Raisel Iglesias (7-1), who threw 6.1 innings of relief - the last 1.1 while fatigued - and struck out 10. An additional tip of the cap to Luis Severino, who, despite his Zit-worthy card, came on in relief of a tired Iglesias to get the red hot Anthony Rizzo for the final out to save the game.

Inmates 6 – Pigs 4 (Baptist Bowl): Sanchez hit a two-out pinch grand-slam in the Inmate 5^th to end the scoring for the game. Segura hit a two-run shot in the 3^rd, and the Inmates survived Manaea’s self-immolation attempt to salvage the series finale.

Joe Ross, who sucks, took his 3rd loss of the day, allowing all 6 runs. David Freese went 3-3 and Hunter Pence homered.

The Inmates outscored the Pigs on the day by 2, but the Pigs outhomered the Inmates by 1. I'm pretty sure without Joe Ross, who sucks, the Pigs could have gone 10-0. Ross lost 3 games, and his dugout presence was most likely responsible for the other one.

Killer Bees 3, Wahoos 2

Bees take 3 of 5 at home versus the Hoos.

Tweeners 4, Killer Bees 3

Tweeners take 4 of 7 at the Hive.

FFTs 7, Fungoes 1

All 8 games via pc manager played by Fungoman as Teamviewer failed us.

Game 1 at WTF:

FFTs score early and often winning it 10-3.  Nelson Cruz pummeled his old team with 2 Home Runs while Tulo and Sal Perez also go yard.

Gio Gonzalez gets the win while David Price takes the loss for the home team.  'I was really seeing the ball today,'Cruz 

said 'I wish it was always this easy.'

Game 2 at WTF:

Leake and Straily face off in an epic pitchers duel.  All zeros through 9 innings.  Fungoes leave the bases loaded in the bottom of the 10th 

which would turn out pretty badly for the home team as 10 FUCKING FFTs cross the plate in the top half of the 11th inning!  Derek Law

picks up the win in the combined shutout!  Final score 10-0.

Game 3 at WTF:

FFTs win again 1-0.  Fungoes, unable to hit their way out of a wet paper bag manage just 2 hits.  2 errors by the Fungoes lead to an 

unearned run being the difference in this one.  Pomeranz collects the win while Santiago gets the loss.

Game 4 at FFT:

FFTs break a 4-4 tie with the winning run in the home half of the 6th inning.  They hold on to win it 5-4.  Leake the win, Straily takes the loss.

Game 5 at FFT:  

Fungoes win a close one 2-1.  Murphy hits a HR for the visitors while Harrison taters for the home team.  Santiago gets the win for the Fungoes

while Samardzija takes the loss.

Game 6 at FFT:

Fungoes lose again 6-3 while out hitting the FFTs 11-8.  Gio picks up another win while Boyd takes the loss.

Game 7 at FFT:

Fungoes lose again blah blah blah blah blah final score 7-3!  Shitfuck!

Game 8 at FFT:

Fungoes lose a 5-4 lead in the bottom of the 8th when Nelson Cruz does it again with a 2 run Home Run.  Final score 6-5 FFTs finish off a pretty 

good season series vs the Fungi.  Duffy gets the win in relief while Will Harris takes the loss.

Pigs, Pigs, Everywhere

The Pigs made the news in Dallas today. Click the link for the story.

Warpigs and FFTs Trade

Two over-the-hill former stars swap teams hoping to resurrect their miserable seasons and find one more keepable card. The FFTs trade Troy Tulowitzki to the Warpigs for Adam Wainwright.

Up to this point, the Warpigs have had ZERO at bats by a shortstop this season. Castro has played nothing but 2b, and Duffy hasn't played at all.

Buckeyes 4, Wahoos 1

Buckeyes make the treck over to Hooville and roll 5 versus Wahoos. Result is Buckeyes 4 Wahoos 1.

April 26 - Buckeyes 7 Wahoos 0 - Ervin Santana with mop up relief help from Phelps and Bauer toss a 2 hitter at the Wahoos. 5 run Buckeye 5th breaks the game open (4 singles, a double, a walk, and a HPB). No homers which is a surprise with these 2 teams.

April 27th - Wahoos 10 Buckeyes 6 (11 innings) - Buckeyes overcome a 5-2 deficit to actually take a 6-5 lead into the ninth. Phelps however gives up a 9th inning HR to Davis to send the game to extras. Buckeyes use every position player and on the last reliever going into extra innings. Wahoos basically walk there way around the bases against Bauer for 4 runs in the 12 th to win it.

June 9 - Buckeyes 21 Wahoos 7- Don't think even in the steroid era we can say this. The Buckeyes hit 11 homers. Here they are: Cabrera 2, Turner 1, Gattis 2, Pearce 1, Trumbo 1, Granderson 1, Ramirez 2, and Keimeier 1. Yes, every starter hit at least 1 homer. Asher makes his 3rd start of the year and goes 5 for the win. Bauer gets lit up again in mop up duty but not as bad as Travis Wood.

June 10 - Buckeyes 9 Wahoos 8 - Buckeyes only hit 4 homers this game. Granderson's 3 run HR in 9th gave us what we thought was a comfortable 9-6 lead. Wahoos make it interesting by scoring 2 in the bottom of the 9th but Bowman finally gets them out.

July 9 - Buckeyes 7 Wahoos 1 - Maeda and Bauer combine on a 5 hitter. 4 run 5th capped off with a Keirmeier homer breaks the game open.

Buckeyes

FFTs and Drillers Trade

The FFTs send Robinson Cano to the Drillers for Odubel Herrera, Yasiel Puig, and the Driller 3rd round pick in next year's draft.

Mavs 3, Goofs 2

The train full of Mav players, fans and hangers on pulled in to Disneyland to face off against the Goofs for two quick games.  Given the short duration of the series, the Mayor of Midlothian was able to make the trip with the permission of his probation officer and duly abiding by the terms of the restraining order granted to Minnie Mouse after last year’s incident.

May 10th:  Carlos Martinez vs. Tanner Roark.  Fresh off a three hitter and a victory in the Mavs annual dwarf tossing contest, Carlos is a sure thing in this game.  The Goofs score first stretching four hits and two stolen bases in to one run in the top of the first.  Through five the Mavs have managed only two hits off of Roark.  The first game after the start of a road trip is tough what with the free beer and fairly inexpensive women on the flight.  By the top of the sixth though most of the alcohol has made it through the players systems and the Mavs push across a tying run.  Alas the running Goofs get a single, steal two bases and score on a flyball B in the bottom of the sixth.  The distraught mayor begins sexting Minnie as the Mavs manage three hits in the top of the ninth without scoring.  The Pabst Blue Ribbon pitcher of the game goes to Tanner Roark who gave up one run in eight innings as the Goofs win 2-1.

May 11th:  James Cotton vs Tanaka Air Bags.  The Goofs start the scoring in the bottom of the 2nd on a 3-5 home run by Young Ho Kang.  The Goofs tack on a run in the third with a single and stolen base and a single.  But JFBradley hits a tater to cut the lead in half in the top of the sixth.  More outs ensue in this Godforsaken wasteland of a ballpark and the Goofs win 2-1.  Time of the game:  six minutes.  The Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game goes to me for having to sit through 18 innings of singles zero, homers zero.  How do the Pigs and Goofs do it?

Now on to the Rastadome where the balls fly as God intended when He created the game.

August 28th:  Tanner Roark vs. Carlos Martinez.  In the bottom of the first Bradley singles, Castellanos doubles, Roark hits the next batter, a brawl ensues – now we’re playing baseball.  In the bottom of the second, the Mavs score four as Gyorko and Correa send Bernice Brewer down the slide.  5-0 Mavs going to the top of the third.  In the bottom of the fifth JF Bradley sends Bernice Brewer back down the slide.  Meanwhile the camera catches a glimpse of a disheveled Minnie Mouse leaving the mayor’s box as all was forgiven between the two after a reasonable sum exchanged hands.  Chris Davis sends a beleaguered Bernice Brewer back down the slide as the fifth continues and Roark grinds it out on the mound.  In the bottom of the sixth, Gyorko walks, Harper triples and the Goofs finally pull Roark after 11 hits, eight earned runs and four homers allowed.  Pagan breaks up the shutout with a homer off of Justin Wilson in the top of the eighth.  The Mavs win 8-1.  The Pabst Blue Ribbon pitcher of the game goes to Carlos Martinez who gave up two hits over 6 2/3’s innings.

August 29th:  Jake Degrom (that is how Hal spells it) vs. Cookie Carrasco.  In the top of the second an X-chart single off of Upton (I should really be grateful he is a 3) leads to two runs for the Goofs.  In the bottom of the third a double off of a Spann X-chart is key in the Mav three run rally.  3-2 after three.  In the bottom of the fourth the Mavs load the bases with two outs.  Carlos Correa steps to the plate after admiring the parabolic silhouette against the setting sun of Bernice Brewer atop the slide.  He pauses to point his bat at her.  This does not impress her much as many bats have pointed up towards her in her time.  Here is the pitch – and Correa grounds the ball to Brandon Phillips who was taken in by the same silhouette and let the ball go between his legs for a run scoring error.  Jackie Bradley stares out at her and takes strike three.  This game will go faster as the sun sets.  Span hits a ball park homer in the top of the fifth to atone for the double he allowed.  Chris Davis sends Bernice back down the slide in the bottom of the fifth.  Later that inning Joseph draws a walk and Upton homers.  Mavs up 7-3 after five.  Brandon Phillips hits a three run homer off of Felipe Rivero in the top of the sixth to cut the lead to 7-6.  The Mavs walk four batters in the seventh to knot the game up.  Tommy Joseph homers.  Mavs back on top 8-7.  The Mavs string together hit after hit to score four runs.  12-7 going to the top of the ninth.  The Mavs hold on to win.  The Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game goes to Tommy Joseph who was 2-3 with two walks, a homer and three RBIs.

August 30th:  Yu Darvish vs. Jake Odorizzi.  Yikes!  Hide the women and children as Odorizzi enters the game having allowed 25 homers in 100 innings.  The Mavs start the scoring in the bottom of the second with a Brad Miller three run ballpark tater.  Carlos Correa follows with a two run ballpark tater of his own a few batters later.  And Jackie Bradley Junior hits one of his own after Correa’s.  Mavs up 6-0 but there is still the Odorizzi effect causing a lot of nervous drinking in the stands.  In the top of the sixth true to form Odorizzi loads the bases with no one out.  The Mavs bring in Justin Wilson to face Kang.  Strikeout.  Left in to face Mauer he gives up a homer 1-8 fly.  Flyball (15).  6-1.  Strop comes in to face Ruiz.  2-9 double.  6-2.  Pagan rolls a 6-10 between the homer and a single to end the rally.  Upton rolls another ballpark tater in the bottom of the sixth.  7-2.  Brad Miller hits a two run ballpark tater in the seventh followed immediately by an Upton ballpark tater.  The Mavs win 10-2.  Brad Miller wins the Betty’s Brothel Blow of the Game for his three run homer in the second that set the tone.

DVs 2, Warpigs 1

TeamViewer. Games played at The BallPork

Game 1 - DVs win 2-1. Rick Porcello and 4 relievers bested Kendall Graveman (2-12) in this pitcher's duel. Corey Seager led off the game with a home run. Mitch Moreland hit a solo shot for the Pigs. The Pigs had plenty of opportunities late in the game to tie or even go ahead, but couldn't get a hit with runners in scoring position. They left the bases loaded in both the 7th and 8th innings.

Game 2 - DVs win 10-1. Kyle Hendriks cruised through 6 innings before getting a breather in this blowout. Corey Seager had 3 hits, and Randall Grichuk and Xander Bogaerts both homered for the DVs. Adam Wainwright (6-11) was terrible for the Warpigs. Chris Carter provided their only run with a solo homer.

Game 3 - Warpigs win 6-1. Anthony DeSclafani (7-4) provided the get-away game crowd (all 25 of them) with a gem, scattering 4 hits and walking no one in the complete game victory.

Fungoes 4, Inmates 3

At the Baptist Bowl with cards and dice:

LDMF 3 – Fungoes 1 (Baptist Bowl): Inmates get only four hits, but both are homers which accounted for all three runs. The Fungi get twelve base runners off of Gray, but leave most stranded.

Fungoes 6 – LDMF 0 (Baptist Bowl): Kershaw and company allow only two Inmate singles in completely over-matching the LDMF. Davies took the loss in a completely ineffective outing.

LDMF 2 – Fungoes 1 (Baptist Bowl): The first of three 2-1 games of the day. A 1-1 pitcher’s duel ends in the last of the 9^th when Martinez hit a walk-off tater. Both LDMF runs scored on solo homers. Nine total hits in the game; five by the LDMF, four by the Fungi.

Inmates 10 – Fungoes 6 (Baptist Bowl): A totally weird game. The Fungoes scored five runs in the 5^th off of Salazar to take a 6-1 lead, looking like a blow-out would ensue. In the Inmate 6^th, however, eight consecutive Inmates hit extra-base hits. Jones, Valbuena, and Ramos hit back-to-back-to-back taters. Segura also homered in the inning, and Altuve got his last hit of the series (!!! – a double). All in all, eight runs scored to ice the game. The Inmates lost their bats after this inning, and never hit again for the rest of the day.

Fungoes 2 – LDMF 1 (15 innings – WTF): The LDMF rustled up a grand total of six hits while the Fungi got thirteen in an impotence display. The LDMF loaded the bases with no outs in the 10^th, yet scored nada. In the 14^th they got runners on first and third with no outs and achieved the same result. Jeffress came on the pitch the 15^th and allowed three consecutive hits without getting an out to mercifully end the game.

Fungoes 11 – LDMF 5 (WTF): The Fungi scored four in the 2^nd and 4^th, and three in the 6^th for the blowout. A Ramos three-run homer in the Inmate 4^th got the good guys within a run but it never got closer.

Fungoes 2 – LDMF 1 (11 innings – WTF): In another masterfully pitched game, the LDMF scored a single run in the 7^th as follows: Rizzo homered, Cespedes doubled, Valbuena walked, Segura got an infield single. Bases loaded, the game’s going to be opened up for the Inmates! Yay! Wait! The LDMF arrived! Cargo hit into a 4-2 DP, Altuve flied to center, and the Inmate suckfest continued. The Fungoes weren’t much better, but scored in the 11^th before both teams ran out of pitchers.

Altuve went 2-30 for the series. Yes!

The HEAD INMATE

Wahoos 6, FFTs 5

Cards and dice.

Gm 1 - Wahoos win 7-0. Weekend at Bernies with the complete game shutout.

Gm 2 - Wahoos win 5-4 in 15 innings.

Gm 3 - FFTs win 13-4. FFTs hit 7 homers including 4 in a row in the 5th inning.

Gm 4 - FFTs win 3-0. John Lackey and Dan Otero combine on a 1-hitter.

Gm 5 - FFTs win 11-4. The FFTs hit 6 more homers. Fernandez appeared to have a dead arm.

Gm 6 - FFTs win 7-6. FFTs score 4 in the first and hang on.

Gm 7 - Wahoos win 4-2. Wahoos score 4 in the first and hang on.

Gm 8 - Wahoos win 5-4. Wahoos score 4 in the first and hang on.

Gm 9 - FFTs win 16-0. Drew Pomeranz with the complete game, 3-hit shutout. Brandon Finnegan takes one for the team, allowing 16 runs, all earned, on 16 hits and 4 walks in the complete game loss. He allowed 8 more FFT homers.

Gm 10 - Wahoos win 2-1. Jake Arrieta bests John Lackey. All 3 runs were solo homers.

Gm 11 - Wahoos win 12-8.

The Wahoos were outhomered in the 11 games, 31-10. The Wahoos also hit into 18 double plays - 7 by Lorenzo Cain alone. And yet... the Wahoos pick up a game on the FFTs and a half game on the DVs in the BUD.

Drillers 3, DVs 2

@ DVs against Hal.

That's it.

Buckeyes and FFTs trade

In an early effort to defend their 2017 championship, the Buckeyes picked up two quality starting pitchers from the FFTs for 2018. The FFTs parted with Gio Gonzalez and Mike Leake, receiving from the Buckeyes Trevor Bauer, Kenta Maeda, and the Buckeye 3rd round pick in 2018.

Fungoes 4, Warpigs 1

Fungoes trekked to Hooterville this morning for some cards and dice.  Here are the results:

July 15 at WTF:

Fungoes win 3-1.  In what would be a recurring theme Fungoes pitching held the Warpigs to 2 hits.  Fungoes scored

2 early runs and hold on to win.  Straily gets the win and Harris picks up the save for the Fungoes.

July 16 at WTF:

Fungoes win another close one 3-0.  Warpigs are held to 1 hit by Santiago and Boyd.  Santiago collects the win while

Boyd picks up his first save of the season.  Sal Perez hits a HR for the Fungoes.

August 21 at Hooterville:

Fungoes get on the board first with a run in the 7th.  Warpigs score two in the 8th to take a 2-1 lead.  It could have been much worse 

for the Fungoes.  Will Smith walked the leadoff hitter and was replaced by Darren O'Day.  He quickly walks the first two batters he faced

to load the bases.  After a strikeout Bruce Rondon comes on and gets a goundout that ties the score at 1.  He gives up a 2-out single to 

give the Warpigs the lead.  That should have been the game but with 2 out and no base runners in the top of the ninth, Beltran and Carpenter

hit back to back triples to tie it back up at 2.  The roof caved in on the Warpigs in the 11th as the Fungoes score 5 to win it 7-2.

August 22 at Hooterville:

Doubleheader.

Game 1:  From the start, this one was all Clayton Kershaw!  He had his best stuff and threw the first perfect game in Fungoes history.  Fungoes 

win it 9-0.

Game 2:  Warpigs bats finally wake up and charge out to a 6-0 lead.  Warpigs hold on to win it 6-4.  Joe Musgrove absorbs the loss for the Fungoes.

All in all probably one of the best days of dice rolling the Fungoes have ever enjoyed while the Warpigs suffered through just the opposite as he couldn't 

buy a good roll through the first 4 games.  

Fungoes need to play some games let me know if any of you out of towners want to play some Teamviewer games.

DVs 4, Killer Bees 1

Game 1 - DVs win 4-0 as Hendriks and 2 relievers combine on a 2 hit shutout

Game 2 - Bees have an offensive explosion by scoring more runs in this game

than the other 4 combined - and STILL LOSE 9-6 as the DVs ride Corey

Seager's 5-5, 6 RBI, 2 home run day to the victory

Game 3 - DVs lead 7-0 after 3 innings and kick a late field goal to win 10-2

(Alex Claudio runs out of the back of the end zone for the late safety while

nabbing a 3 inning save and doubling his total innings pitched for the year)

Game 4 - Polanco homers in the 9th to break up the shutout as Claudio

notches another three inning save and the DVs win 6-1

Game 5 - Tired from running around the bases, the DVs fall 2-1 as DelGado

and Kontos twirl 3 2/3 innings of scoreless, 2 hit relief to salt away the

win.

Wahoos 6, Mavs 4

Game stories coming.

Mavs 8, Warpigs 2

Cards and Dice

Games 1,2,3,7,8 @ The RastaDome
Games 4,5,6,9,10 @ The BallPork

Game 1 - Mavs win 12-10 in 11 innings. Jackie Bradley, Jr. blasted a bottom of the 9th, 2-out, grand slam to tie the game. Bryce Harper homered in the 11th to end it. Bradley went 3-4, and Harper was 3-5. J.T. Realmuto homered twice for the Warpigs. J.T. has hit 4 homers on the year, and they happened in 2 games.

Game 2 - Warpigs win 7-4. Carlos Rodon (4-4) went 8.2 innings for the win despite allowing 3 homers - 2 to Danny Valencia. Raisel Iglesias recorded the final out for his 9th save. Logan Forsythe was 3-3 with 3 RBI. Jake Lamb and Starlin Castro homered for the Pigs.

Game 3 - Mavs win 5-3. Jeremy Hellickson got the complete game victory. Harper homered twice for the Mavs.

Game 4 - Warpigs win 4-2. Realmuto and Logan Forsythe both had 3 hits, and Adam Wainwright (6-10) got the win. Iglesias saved his 10th game.

Game 5 - Mavs win 4-2. Jason Hammel and 3 relievers held the Warpigs to 4 hits.

Game 6 - Mavs win 4-3. Tommy Joseph hit two 2-run homers - one in the 1st and another in the 3rd - and that was all the Mavs would get - or need. Hellickson got the win. Chris Carter homered for the Pigs.

Game 7 - Mavs win 14-9. The two teams celebrated returning to the RastaDome by combining for 10 home runs. I don't know who hit all the dingers for the Mavs, but Carter and Yasmany Tomas each hit 2 for the Warpigs. Tomas considered stopping at 3rd on this last homer, as the triple would have given him the cycle, but was convinced to complete the trip around the bases.

Game 8 - Mavs win 6-4. This game was calmer, but there were still 4 homers - 2 from each team.

Game 9 - Mavs win 13-4. In the final two games, the Mavs could do no wrong and the Pigs could no right. The Mavs scored 6 first inning runs and had 17 hits in the pitcher-friendly park. Hammel went 6 for the win.

Game 10 - Mavs win 11-3. Another 4 runs in the 1st inning for the Mavs, who have discovered how to hit left-handed pitching thanks to 8 games vs Carlos Rodon and Daniel Norris in this series. The Mavs had 12 hits and 13(!) walks.

Can't wait to do pitching stats!

Wanna See The Final Standings Early? (Spoiler: The Buckeyes Get Seed #1)

Using a mathematical formula based on records and who each team has left to play, here are the final win totals for each team. Due to rounding, it comes up about 4 wins short of exact, but it is completely and totally accurate. Clip and save.

1. Buckeyes, 108 wins (I didn't know how to factor the "Buckeye Effect" into my formula, so it may be higher. This is probably where those 4 missing wins will end up.)
2. Inmates, 101 wins (There are 5 teams who have separated themselves from the pack in the race for the first pick in the Draft. The Inmates have a league-high 54 games left against those 5 teams. By the way, this method of saving the crap for last is the opposite of the Buckeye method - play the crap early and discourage everyone from challenging. It is, instead, a copycat of the Wahoo method.)
3. Sidewinders, 98 wins (The #3 seed. Again. He's got you guys right where he wants you.)
4. Wahoos, 94 wins (Seed #4. This would be the "Year of the Wahoos" except it's the "Year of the Inmates." Plus, last year was the "Year of the Wahoos.")
5. Rhinos, 98 wins (Third best record in the league gets the Rhinos a Wild Card spot and a first round loss to the Wahoos.)
6. Fungoes, 97 wins (99 wins if you count the 2 wins Kershaw will get against the Snakes in the 6-game, first round loss.)

7. FFTs, 88 wins ("We finished ahead of the DVs. That's good enough for me.")
8. DVs, 86 wins ("We finished ahead of the Warpigs. That's good enough for me.")
9. Mavs, 83 wins (Above .500, but not the juggernaut of 2016. "Being the #1 seed and losing sucked. This is better.")
10. Skyscrapers, 81 wins (Will be better next year if for no other reason than he'll go into the Draft knowing this is a DH league.)
11. Drillers, 80 wins (At some point in July or August, DD will realize it's time to start tanking, but the 5 teams behind him are so bad it won't matter. The Drillers will pick 6th in the 2018 Draft, but they're loaded for next year, and you know what that means: Drillers picking 7th in 2019.

12. Warpigs, 59 wins ("How the hell do we lose 103 and STILL only pick 5th?!?")
13. Tweeners, 56 wins ("How the hell do we lose 106 and STILL only pick 4th?!?")
14. Goofs, 55 wins ("We lost 107 games? Wait, we played 107 games?")
15-16. Nads and Bees, 54 wins (The Nad/Bee series later this summer will be very important. Whose team sucks more? The Bees nabbed Benintendi with the #1 pick this year. 20 more years like that, and the Bees will be good again.)

Keeping Tabs

As you know, I have asked everyone to CC me when sending your opponent the game files from your computer. In addition to updating the standings, I have been importing the game files into the league. As a result, I now have an LZP file with every computer game that has been played. There are a couple of advantages to doing this, not the least of which is having a backup when Nads' laptop inevitably crashes. lol

If you want a copy of this updated league, let me know and I will email it to you.

Below is the status of each team. The games on the right are the ones where you rolled dice. The Rhinos, Nads, and FFTs have played every game on the computer, so their stats are accurate as is - without having to add the dice games.

Wahoos 3, Skyscrapers 1

Wahoos and Skyscrapers rolled dice on a rainy Saturday afternoon.

Game 1 at The Reservation: Estrada vs. Greinke

This one got out of hand in a hurry. The Scrapers scored 7 in the first and sent 13 men to the plate. Estrada got yanked after 2 innings and 9 hits, 8 runs and 4 walks. THEN, the 4th inning happened. The Scrapers scored 8 more times. 

A few of the offensive highlights for the Scrapers -- Manny Machado went 6-for-7, the No. 2 hitter went 5-for-7, The only lowlight came from the 9 hole hitter -- 0-for-4 with 2 walks. Travis Wood took a beating for the Wahoos. He went 7 innings and gave up 19 hits, 16 runs and 3 homers.

Final score: Scrapers 24 (with 28 hits), Wahoos 4

Game 2 at The Reservation: Verlander vs. Kluber

Uhoh. Scrapers score again in the first. But only once. Wahoos put up a pair in the first and start to pile on in the sixth and seventh with big innings. Hyun Soo Kim left holding the bag in an 0-for-5 day but the rest of the team had hits and/or RBI in a 16-1 thrashing. 

Game 3 at The Reservation: Fernandez vs. Scherzer

This time the pitchers ruled. Fernandez went all the way and allowed 4 singles and 4 walks but managed to induce 3 DPs and struck out 15. Mad Max was almost as good, allowing only a homer to Brandon Crawford and Khris Davis. Wahoos win, 2-0.

Game 4 at The Empire State Building (or whatever): Arrieta vs. Kluber

Wahoos score 4 runs early and Arrieta hangs on for dear life to win this one, 5-2.

Demerit Update

The Wahoos and Nads fell short of the 65-game minimum, earning a demerit apiece.

The Bees, Snakes, Wahoos, and Nads have all earned 1 demerit each this season.

The next deadline is 90 games played by the end of June. Sunday, July 2nd is the official deadline.

Warpigs 4, Killer Bees 4

Games played vs CM.

Gm 1 - Warpigs win 5-3. Daniel Norris (1-2) got his first win of the year, and Luis Severino got his first save. Logan Forsythe homered.

Gm 2 - Warpigs win 8-2. J.T. Realmuto went 3-3 with 2 homers and a double. Kendall Graveman (2-9) earned the win.

Gm 3 - Warpigs win 9-8 in 15 innings. The Pigs led 4-2 at the 7th inning stretch, then it got fun. The Bees scored 3 in the bottom of the 7th to take the lead. The big blow was a 2-run homer by Kurt Suzuki. The Pigs tied it with a run in the top of the 8th when Ender Inciarte pulled a ball down the line and off the RF foul pole. The Bees responded with a 3-run bottom of the 8th when Gregory Polanco, Maikel Franco, and Freddy Freeman greeted reliever Francisco Liriano with homer, double, homer to start the inning. The Warpigs answered back again in the top of the 9th. Mallex Smith hit a 2-run triple and scored on Forsythe's single. The Pigs had runners at 2nd & 3rd with 1 out, but couldn't take the lead. Neither team threatened again until the top of the 14th when Forsythe walked, stole 2nd, and scored on Mitch Moreland's double. Michael Wacha (3-3) went 5 innings for the win. Carl Edwards went 5.1, taking the loss. There were 35 strikeouts in this game.

Gm 4 - Bees win 4-3 in 10 innings. Trea Turner and Kurt Suzuki opened the 10th with back to back doubles for the winning runs. The Pigs had scored 2 in the bottom of the 9th to tie the game. Edwards got the win. Severino (0-1) took the loss.

Gm 5 - Warpigs win 4-3. Hunter Pence doubled twice and drove in 3 runs. Carlos Rodon (3-4) got the win. Raisel Iglesias earned his 8th save.

Gm 6 - Bees win 1-0. Julio Teheran went 7.1 for the win, getting help from Edwards and George Kontos, who got the save. Daniel Norris (1-3) went the distance for the Pigs, allowing only 6 hits and striking out 13 in the loss.

Gm 7 - Bees win 12-7. Back in the Beehive, this game featured 7 home runs, the biggest being a grand slam by Maikel Franco. Franco went 4-5 with 2 homers and 6 RBI.

Gm 8 - Bees win 4-3. The Bees scored 3 runs in the 1st inning off of Adam Wainwright (5-10) and held on for the win. Jordan Zimmermann went 5 innings for the win, getting help from 3 relievers. Edwards got the save. Polanco homered.

Fungoes 2, Skyscrapers 0

Fungoes play two (though it seemed a lot like three)vs Skyscrapers and win em both!  

Games played via PC manager at WTF.

September 5 at WTF:

Fungoes grab a 3-0 lead and hold on to win.  Cole Hamels pitched a pretty good game 

allowing only 5 hits over his 7 2/3 innings.  He takes the loss.  David price picks up a win 

for the Fungoes as he allows 8 hits and 1 run over 7 innings.  Bruce Rondon picks up his 

1st save of the season.  Skyscrapers run comes on the strength of back to back X-chance

grounders to Odor that turned into two single and error.  Fungoes stole 7 bases in the contest.

September 6 at WTF:

This type of game is why TeamViewer or face to face game play are so much more desirable.  

This game went 16 innings and just when the Skyscrapers had the win column all warmed up 

until Dull came in and gave up back to back HRs to Betts and Trout handing the Fungoes the 

win 8-7.  The worst part of this game is that Zach Duke threw 9 innings of 2 hit ball in relief.  

Sorry Robert!  Carlos Torres picked up the win for the Fungi in relief while Mr Dull takes the loss 

on two pitched balls!  He didn't seem to have his best stuff out there today!

Buckeyes 3, Killer Bees 0

Games played vs CM at Beeville.

Gm 1 - Buckeyes win 4-3
Gm 2 - Buckeyes win 6-2
Gm 3 - Buckeyes win 8-4

Killer Bees 4, Goofs 3

Games played vs CM at Beeville.

Gm 1 - Bees 8, Goofs 3
Gm 2 - Bees 2, Goofs 0
Gm 3 - Goofs 7, Bees 4
Gm 4 - Bees 4, Goofs 1

Gm 5 - Bees 7, Goofs 2
Gm 6 - Goofs 5, Bees 0
Gm 7 - Goofs 5, Bees 1

Fungoes 7, Killer Bees 3

Games played vs CM at Beeville.
Games 1-3 and 7-8 at the Beehive.
Games 4-6 and 9-10 at WTF.

Gm 1 - Fungoes win 9-8 in 16 innings
Gm 2 - Fungoes win 5-1
Gm 3 - Bees win 11-8

Gm 4 - Fungoes win 7-4 in 10 innings
Gm 5 - Fungoes win 4-2
Gm 6 - Fungoes win 7-5

Gm 7 - Bees win 6-5
Gm 8 - Fungoes win 5-4

Gm 9 - Bees win 2-1
Gm 10 - Fungoes win 3-1

Drillers 3, Killer Bees 2

Games played vs CM at Beeville.

Gm 1 - Drillers 8, Bees 6
Gm 2 - Bees 5, Drillers 2
Gm 3 - Bees 4, Drillers 3
Gm 4 - Drillers 10, Bees 2
Gm 5 - Drillers 5, Bees 2

Skyscrapers 5, Killer Bees 0

Games played vs CM at Beeville.

Gm 1 - Skyscrapers 6, Bees 5
Gm 2 - Skyscrapers 1, Bees 0
Gm 3 - Skyscrapers 8, Bees 6
Gm 4 - Skyscrapers 6, Bees 2
Gm 5 - Skyscrapers 10, Bees 3

Sidewinders 12, Tweeners 2

Lexington,cards and dice.

1. SSWs 13-6

2. Tweeners 4-1

3. SSWs 6-0; Cueto with the SHO

4. SSWS 12-3 N Walker 3 for 5, 2B, 2 HR, Cueto CG

5 SSWs 13-1  Sale CG

6. SSWs 6-1.Waler another HR, Lester wins and Brach with the save

7. Tweeners 5-3.

8. SSWs5-2. Sale 8 innings strong, Miller with the save.

9. SSWs 10-4

10. SSWs 2-0. Lester wins and Miller gets the save. Solo HR by Longoria and Gregorius

11. SSWs3-1.Sale wins and Miller saves.Marwin Gonzalez homers twice and Bruce adds one for 

the SSWs scoring.

12. SSWs 3-1. Cueto wins, Miller saves.

13. SSWs 5-2 Lester wins, Miller saves.Saunders homers twice and Zunino hits a solo shot.

14. SSWs 7-1 

Sidewinders 4, Drillers 1

1.SSWs 3-1; Lester wins, Miller saves, Belt drives in all 3 snake tallies.

2. SSWs 4-2  Moore beats Kennedy, Miller with the save. Posey had a pair of doubles and theSnakes hit 3 solo HR (Dahl, Grandal and Bruce)

3. SSWs 5-4 Big Papi hits walk off HR in 10th off of Shaw.

4. OUD 4-2 T Walker wins and Dayton saves, Puig with a 3 run HR. Sale CG loser.

5. SSWs 4-3   Belt singles through drawn in infield to score Marte with the game winner in the 9th.

Sidewinders 8, Warpigs 2

Games played via TeamViewer.

Games 1-3 at Snakeville

Gm 1 - Sidewinders win 6-2. Three Snake homers and a woeful Pig offense made it easy for the defending champs. A 9th inning Jake Lamb homer helped the visiting Pigs avoid the shutout. James Paxton went 5.2 for the win. Carlos Rodon (2-4) took the loss.

Gm 2 - Warpigs win 6-5. This falls into the "Didn't See That Coming" category, as the Pigs bested Chris Sale despite getting their SP knocked out in the 3rd inning. Francisco Liriano (3-2) went 4 innings in relief to earn the win. Alex Wilson got the save, his 5th.

Gm 3 - Sidewinders win 3-1. Johnny Cueto and Andrew Miller combined on a 5-hitter. Daniel Norris (0-2) pitched well for the Pigs, but 3 errors behind him were too much to overcome.

Games 4-5 at the BallPork

Gm 4 - Sidewinders win 2-1. Neil Walker and Didi Gregorius hit back-to-back doubles in the 9th inning to break the 1-1 tie. Sale and Miller bested Adam Wainwright and the Pigs.

Gm 5 - Sidewinders win 7-1. Cueto scattered 5 hits, allowing only an unearned run as the Snakes won their 3rd straight.

Games 6-7 at the Snakes

Gm 6 - Sidewinders win 9-5 in 11 innings. David Ortiz blasted a grand slam in the bottom of the 11th for the Snake win. Miller threw 3 innings to get the win after blowing the save on a Hunter Pence homer in the 9th.

Gm 7 - Sidewinders win 4-3. Matt Moore and Andrew Miller (again) held the Warpigs to 7 hits. Ortiz and Mike Zunino homered for the home team. Lamb hit one for the Pigs. Garrett Richards (1-3) took the loss.

Games 8-10 at the BallPork

Gm 8 - Sidewinders win 8-5. Wainwright couldn't find the strike zone (9 walks) and blew a 4-0 lead. Paxton didn't have a great game, but hung around long enough to get the win. Miller got yet another save.

Gm 9 - Sidewinders win 4-1. The game was 1-1 into the 9th when the Snakes exploded for 3 runs. Alex Wilson forgot how to get people out. Said Wilson, "I was told all I had to do was keep Billy Hamilton from stealing. No one said I had to get hitters out." This was the 7th straight victory for the Snakes over the Warpigs.

Gm 10 - Warpigs win 3-0. As if a Warpig shutout of the Sidewinders wasn't unlikely enough, Anthony Desclafani (6-3) held the Snakes to 2 hits over 8 innings. Francisco Liriano threw a hitless 9th for his 4th save. Ender Inciarte singled home 2 runs in a 3-run 4th inning for the Pigs. Cueto took the loss.