Mavs 3, Rhinos 2

The Mavs go 3-2 vs the Rhinos

May 13 - Rhinos 8 - Mavs 2

May 14 - Rhinos 4 - Mavs 3

May 15 - Mavs 3 - Rhinos 2

Jul 22 - Mavs 3 - Rhinos 2

Jul 23 - Mavs 5 - Rhinos 4

Col Rhino

Berra vs Bench

Sparky Anderson once said, "Never embarrass a man by comparing him to Johnny Bench." But what the hell, let's do it anyway.

Let's start with longevity. Bench played 17 seasons, 15 of which he appeared in over 100 games. Berra played 19 seasons and had 14 seasons of 100+ games. Their number of games played are close: 2,158 for Bench; 2,116 for Berra. Berra had 7,555 career at bats; Bench had about a hundred more with 7,658.

The first thought I had when seeing those numbers was that Berra played a lot of outfield, but the truth is, Bench started 1,627 games at catcher; Berra started 1,641 behind the plate.

With the lengths of their careers being so close, the counting numbers can be compared straight up.

Berra hit .285 for his career, getting 2,150 hits. Bench had a career batting average of .267, getting 2,043 hits.

Bench had more doubles (381 to 321) and more home runs (389 to 358), but not a higher career slugging percentage. Berra leads there .482 to .476. Berra also had more RBI than Bench, 1,430 to 1,376).

Bench drew more walks (891 to 704), but again, Berra had the higher OB% (.348 to .342). Berra scored more runs than Bench (1,175 to 1,091).

Okay, so offensively, Berra was better than Bench. Not by a lot, but with a higher BA, OBP, SLG... and with more runs scored and runs batted in, Berra gets the nod here.

On to defense. Johnny Bench is considered the greatest defensive catcher in the history of baseball, and with good reason: he won 10 consecutive Gold Gloves - signifying his place among the other catchers of his era. Berra never won a Gold Glove, but to be fair, there was no Gold Glove Award until the tail end of Yogi's career.

As for defensive stats, the most compelling stat for catchers is stolen base percentage. Berra had 425 bases stolen against him and threw out 406. Bench threw out 469 but had a surprising 610 bases stolen against him. Now, I realize we're talking about different leagues and different eras, but the fact that Berra had better SB/CS numbers than Bench is shocking to me.

Johnny Bench was the NL MVP twice. Yogi Berra was the AL MVP three times. Bench's Cincinnati Reds won 2 World Series titles, while Berra's Yankees won 10. Bench was a 12-time All Star. In Berra's time, there were several years in which two All Star games were played, so while Berra was an All Star in 13 different years, he actually played in 14 games.

Comparing players of different eras presents plenty of problems. One has to consider the league averages for batting averages, homers, runs, stolen bases... the list goes on and on. And frankly, this comparison is just an informal one, and... well, I didn't feel like working that hard.

And yet... while both were Hall of Fame players, and you couldn't go wrong with either, I had always assumed (and been told) that Bench is the greatest catcher ever. After comparing the numbers, I'm not so sure Berra wasn't better. In fact, I'm convinced he was. I'd definitely rather have Berra's career than Bench's, if for no other reason than I would have 10 rings as opposed to 2.

Mavs and Buckeyes Trade

The Mavs traded Marcell Ozuna to the Buckeyes for Brad Miller.

It's Over...

May 12, 1925 - September 22, 2015

1. “It ain’t over till it’s over.”
2. “It’s deja vu all over again.”
3. “I usually take a two-hour nap from 1 to 4.”
4. “Never answer an anonymous letter.”
5. “We made too many wrong mistakes.”
6. “You can observe a lot by watching.”
7. “The future ain’t what it used to be.”
8. “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.”
9. “It gets late early out here.”
10. “If the people don’t want to come out to the ballpark, nobody’s going to stop them.”
11. “Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical.”
12. “Pair up in threes.”
13. “Why buy good luggage, you only use it when you travel.”
14. “Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.”
15. “All pitchers are liars or crybabies.”
16. “A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.”
17. “Bill Dickey is learning me his experience.”
18. “He hits from both sides of the plate. He’s amphibious.”
19. “I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.”
20. “I can see how he (Sandy Koufax) won 25 games. What I don’t understand is how he lost five.”
21. “I don’t know (if they were men or women fans running naked across the field). They had bags over their heads.”
22. “I’m a lucky guy and I’m happy to be with the Yankees. And I want to thank everyone for making this night necessary.”
23. “I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.”
24. “In baseball, you don’t know nothing.”
25. “I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn’t my fault that I’m not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?”
26. “I never said most of the things I said.”
27. “It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility.”
28. “I think Little League is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house.”
29. “I wish everybody had the drive he (Joe DiMaggio) had. He never did anything wrong on the field. I’d never seen him dive for a ball, everything was a chest-high catch, and he never walked off the field.”
30. “So I’m ugly. I never saw anyone hit with his face.”
31. “Take it with a grin of salt.”
32. (On the 1973 Mets) “We were overwhelming underdogs.”
33. “The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.”
34. “You should always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise, they won’t come to yours.”
35. “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

Sidewinders 6, Killer Bees 1

Snakes win 6 of 7 at home vs bees

 

5/19 Snakes win 3-1

 

5/20 Bees win 7-6 in 11 innings. Offensive stars for Bees are Freeman,Solarte and Bonifacio who homer.

5/21 Snakes win game started by 2 pitchers traded for each other: Cueto andTeheran. Ortiz and Belt each homer twice.Snakes win 6-1

 

7/27 Snakes win 13-4, Belt homers twice

 

7/28 Santana breaks up no hitter in 7th. Cueto and 2 relievers combine for2 hit shutout. Snakes win 5-0

 

7/29 Snakes beat Mike Minor and the Bees 9-4. Gyorko homers for Bees

 

7/30 Ortizpowers offense in2-1 win.Kimbrel saves Miller's win. Teheran is the tough luck loser.

Zaps 4, Killer Bees 1

Game One- Bonifacio opened the scoring with a two-run shot in the 2nd,
but the Zap bats woke up to score five runs on four taters and the pen
sealed the 5-2 deal for the home team in the opener.

Game Two- The Bees had a 2-1 lead going into the fifth, but the Zaps
scored multiple in the next four frames to take control led by Cutche’s
two taters and triumph 11-2.

Game Three-Granderson opened the scoring with a tater in the 2nd, but
the Zaps score four in the bottom of the frame. The flood gates opened
in the 8th when the Zaps scored eight to demolish the visitors 15-1.

Game Four-Bautista hit a solo shot, and Pearce later hit an Earl Weaver
special in the first inning to set the tone for Niese to pitch a lights
out five-hit shutout as the good guys won 6-0.

Game Five- The Bees scored three runs on two taters in the sixth, and a
three run eighth sealed the deal as the Bees salvaged the getaway game 7-5.

Wahoos 3, Warpigs 1

First two games at The BallPork

Gm 1 - Wahoos win 1-0. The Wahoos are held to 3 hits, but got 2 of them in the same inning for the win.

Gm 2 - Warpigs win 3-0. Adam Wainwright (26-7) finishes his season in style, as the Warpigs record their 30th shutout of the season. Cano and VMart both homered in the home finale for the Pigs.

Last two games at The Reservation

Game 3 - Wahoos win 13-2. Lance Lynn took one for the team.

Game 4 - Wahoos win 6-3. Jonathan Schoop, who made his career debut the day before, went 3-4 with a double, triple, and homer, driving in 4. R.A. Dickey (17-15) went the distance for the Pigs.

Mavs 3, Rhinos 2

6/26 – Matt Garza takes the hill against Jake Odorizzi.  The Mavs imported the Rhinos manager three times to confirm that the Colonel only brought 4 relievers with him.  I suppose a lineup where Michael Morse hits cleanup can inspire that kind of confidence.  Grumpy’s Bail Bonds is handing out free Alex Johnson tshirts to the first 20,000 in attendance to celebrate the 44^th anniversary of the Angels suspending Alex Johnson after 5 benchings and 29 fines.  The Sultans string together a single 1-5, single 1-9, HBP, Castellanos X (oh hide the women and the children) and an infield single for 3 in the top of the third.  The Mavs answer with a trifecta of scoreless innings while the Sultans tack on three more with homers by Gordon and Gomez.  The Mavs finally force the Sultans to bring in 25% of their bullpen in the eighth.  Kenley Jansen comes in to pitch the last two and the Mavs lose 6-3.  Alex Gordon wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game going 2-4 with a homer and two RBI’s.

6/27 – Gerritt Cole vs. Yovanni Gallardo.  The good folks at the Top Hat Bar and Saloon are handing out souvenir Bill Lee cigarette lighters (useful for all kinds of cigarettes we have been told).  Gerritt Cole throws a 3 hitter with the only run scoring on an Upton homer.  The profligate Rhinos waste their bench strength carrying all of these needless relievers.  The offensive heroics once again go to Alex Gordon who goes two for four with another homer and three RBI’s but the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game and the Betty’s Brothel Pitcher of the Game both go to Gerritt Cole who was seen with one of Betty’s girls after the game.  We hold out hopes of scoring two runs off of him next time.  Oops there goes another of Betty’s girls.  Cole is holding out hopes for two as well.

9/1 – Roenis Elias vs. Wily Peralta.  It is Back to School Night at the Rastadome.  The first 15,000 kids under 13 will receive a complimentary Mavericks Betty’s Brothel Backpack.  The Rhinos strike first with three straight singles leading to a run.  The Rhinos strike second in the fourth with a Matt Kemp double, a steal of third (1-12 but Hal knows best) and a ballpark single.  Suddenly in the fifth Elias, who was throwing a no-hitter, walks two and gives up a double.  His arm falls off from fatigue but Rhino manager General George Patton leaves him in.  Country Breakfast singles in two (not a dot hit).  Old Blood and Guts heads to the mound to take Elias out and kicks his limp arm for good measure.  3-2 Mavs going to the sixth.  Fangraphs has the Mavs with a 25% chance of winning because they know if we have the lead, Holland will come in and get whipped.  Sparing Holland that indignity the Mavs bring in Carrasco and he gives up four quick runs including a three run homer by Alex Avila.  6-3 heading to the bottom of the sixth.  In the bottom of the eighth Kendrick walks and Ozuna homers.  Castellanos singles and General Patton brings in a righty to face Harper.  He gets Harper but amazingly Elvis gets a hit off of a righty.  The Mavs pinch hit Heyward for Country Breakfast with two on and two out.  General Patton walks him intentionally.  Big sissy.  Brings up Lucroy with the bases juiced.  Fffftttt.  6-5 heading to the top of the ninth.  The Mavs bring in Britton to face the accursed Alex Avila who gets a hit, one sac bunt and a single by Markakis and the Rhino’s pad their lead.  Down two Upton draws a lead off walk.  The Mavs pinch hit Crush Davis looking for the two run tater but get a 3-11 HBP instead.  Homer Allowed Bailey pinch runs and the Mavs put their Wong in.  1-7 single plates a run and puts Homer Allowed at third with no outs as the tying run.  It also tires Jansen.  Aaron Sanchez comes in.  Yikes!  Have you seen that card?  We need an A bunter and quickly.  In comes Matt Cain.  The squeeze is successful.  Tie game.  Thank goodness it is September.  We can field a line up but it involves playing Jackie F. Bradley in a tie game.  After two scoreless innings the Mavs are forced to bring in Greg Holland.  Meanwhile after three scoreless innings by Sanchez (who only has 33 innings) General Patton brings in Trevor Cahill.  In the bottom of the thirteenth, Vazquez walks (can’t pinch run for him because Lucroy has to play first).  Wong swings away because Bradley is on deck and CarGo (1e6) drops it.  Second and third, nobody out and Jackie F. Bradley is due up.  How can a guy with a .198 batting average be a D bunter?  Rusney Castillo pinch hits for Bradley.  Thank God it is September.  Cahill hits him to bring up the porn star Alexi Amarista.  Outfield in, infield in and Amarista hits a fly b? to left field. Vazquez is on third.  Safe chance: 1-1.  The Mavs hold.  Bryce Harper singles through the drawn in infield.  Greg Holland wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game because he didn’t get hammered for a change.  Mavs win 8-7 in 13.

9/2 – Archer vs. Odorizzi – two Rays pitchers square off.  The start of the game is delayed a bit while Mavs management apologizes to the PTA for the graphic on last night’s give away.  Tonight’s give away is a pair of handcuffs sponsored by Grumpy’s Bail Bonds.  When the phone rings, the handcuff’s spring.  The Mavs score first on a Billy Butler double followed by an Elvis single that actually scored Butler from second.  The Mavs then string together four more hits and take a 5-0 lead.  The Rhinos get two back in the fourth including a Markakis solo shot.  The Mavs lead 6-2 going to the ninth and put in all of their defense, give up to X hits and a ballpark single and Odorizzi is done for.  In comes Holland.  An Elvis X bails the Mavs out and they prevail 6-3.  Odorizzi wins the Betty’s Brothel Pitcher of the Game going 8 innings and Elvis wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game for not choking in the clutch.  Mavs win 6-3.

 

9/3 – Cole vs. Gallardo in the Betty’s Brothel Rubber Game.  The Mavs strike first on a single, steal and single in the second.  The Rhinos tie it in the fifth with a leadoff triple by Lemahieu and a single by Escobar through the drawn in infield.  1-1 heading to the bottom of the fifth.   It stays that way until the ninth.  Alex Gordon gets a catcher X single off of Holland but before I can bitch about my bad luck Flores swings through a hit and run and Gordon is out on a 1-4 chance to steal second.  Cole gives up a hit in the ninth as Ryan Braun came into pinch run and stayed in the game to “play rightfield”.  Mostly he was checking out the ballgirl though and Andrus’s hit falls in front of him.  Andrus steals second.  Andrus steals third.  Lucroy at the plate with one out and the winning run on third.  Outfield in, infield in.  5-9.  Lucroy singles off of the wall.  The Mavs win 2-1.  Elvis wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game scoring the winning run and getting two of the Mavs seven stolen bases.  The girls at Betty’s gave Cole the crabs and he was too distracted to hold well.

FFTs and Warpigs Trade

The FFTs traded James Loney to the Warpigs for Jayson Werth.

Sidewinders 6, Killer Bees 1

This is just a rumor, really.

Zaps 8, FFTs 2

Game 1-Zaps score two in the first with three hits. The FFT’s fight back
to take the lead in the 5th, but the Zaps tie it up with a run in the
bottom of the frame and take the lead in the 6th on a wild pitch.
Dickerson’s solo tater in the 7th ends the scoring, and the pen ices it
to take the opener 5-3.

Game 2-The Zaps chase Lackey in the third with a five-run outburst. The
FFT’s claw their way back to a one-run deficit, but Giles nails down his
second save in two games as the good guys triumph 6-5.

Game 3-The FFT’s chase Greinke with four runs in the first inning. The
Zaps fight back to take the lead 5-4 in the 5th, and then use a four-run
outburst to take command in the 6th. The FFT’s get within three, but
Giles notches his third straight save in a 9-6 victory for the home team.

Game 4- The Zaps score in the 1st inning, but the FFT’s build a two-run
lead before the Zaps tie it up in the 6th. Tazawa loads the bases in the
top of the 9th, and Fernando Rodney comes in and promptly walks in the
lead run. The FFT’s get two-runs in the home half off Giles to take the
opener 5-4.

Game 5- Cutch leads off the game with a tater, and Goldie adds an Earl
Weaver special three batters later. Lackey gets yanked before recording
an out. Goldie adds two more taters as the Zaps beat the home team 9-4.

Game 6- The Zaps chase Leake by the third inning building a four-run
lead. Dickerson’s Earl Weaver special in the eighth iced Greinke solid
start for a 9-2 win.

Game 7-Dickerson opens up a one-run game with a two-run tater in the
7th.  The pen makes it stand up for a 3-1 victory for the home team.

Game 8-The Zaps pound Lackey for seven runs, four unearned, to back up
Hamels complete game for a 9-1 triumph.

Game 9-Lackey leaves the game in the 6th with a 2-1 lead, but Dunn gives
up the lead on a two-run big fly to Bautista. Giles comes on for a
two-inning save.

Game 10-Leake pitches the FFT’s to a 1-0 lead in the fifth when HAL let
the tying run score on a 1-12 chance to end the inning, and instead gets
the trailing runner. The FFT’s load the bases in the bottom of the 9th
and  Laroche drives in the winning run of Abad to take the finale 2-1.

Rhinos 5, Drillers 0

Rhinos SWEEP the Ghost of Drillers at Mud Pit

Straight HAL vs HAL, confirmed lineups, EQAs at 2am…

Kazmir, Torres, Gregerson, Puig, Posey, Abreu on floor.

11 May  The SHAWN DRILLERS pitching coach might be looking for a new job soon.  His

team allowed 8 runs while Chris Archer(1-2), with relief help from Trevor

Cahill, constrained SHAWN in a laugher 8 – 0.

12 May  Matt Garza allowed JOSE's manager to rest his bullpen, tossing a complete game

and D.J. Lemahieu had 2 base hits as the JOSE RHINOS outscored the SHAWN

DRILLERS 5 to 3.

 

19 July  Gerrit Cole blanked SHAWN in a very well-pitched complete game as the JOSE

RHINOS defeated the SHAWN DRILLERS by a score of 2 to 0 at Driller

Park.

20 July  Carlos Gomez cracked a homer and had 2 RBI as the JOSE RHINOS outscored the

SHAWN DRILLERS 6 to 2.

21 July  Catcher Alex Avila homered and had 2 RBI as the JOSE RHINOS defeated the SHAWN

DRILLERS in 10 innings by a score of 7 to 4 at Driller Park.

Drillers 3, Nads 2

Drillers take 3 of 5 at home vs Nads

Straight up HAL vs HAL, confirming lineups, EQAs at 1:30am…

Torres, Gregerson, Puig, Posey, and Abreu on floor.

9 May  In a dramatic ending at Driller Park the SHAWN DRILLERS won in their last

at-bat beating the DAVE NADS by the count of 2 to 1.  The deciding run was scored

by SHAWN in the bottom of the 9th.  Christian Yelich slapped a single.  Maikel

Franco stepped up next and he singled.  Josh Donaldson was a strikeout victim,

unable to help out.  Melky Cabrera came up and he hit a sacrifice fly giving SHAWN

the win as 40,400 happy fans joyfully celebrated.  DAVE had 8 hits in the game

while SHAWN had 5, but SHAWN had the more timely hits.

10 May  In an entertaining game at Driller Park the final score was the SHAWN DRILLERS

4, the DAVE NADS 1.  SHAWN promptly took the lead in their half of the first as they scored 3 runs

on 2 base hits.  That was all the offense they were to need.  SHAWN had 7

hits for the night.

 

16 July  Erick Aybar had 2 base hits as the DAVE NADS defeated the SHAWN DRILLERS by

the score of 6 to 3 at Driller Park.

17 July  The DAVE NADS nipped the SHAWN DRILLERS 3 to 2 at Driller Park in a hard

fought contest.  DAVE wasted no time and took the lead in the first inning scoring a single run

utilizing 2 base hits.  SHAWN threatened in the 9th but their rally came up

short.

18 July  Dallas Keuchel went 9 strong innings and right fielder Charlie Blackmon

homered and had 2 RBI as the SHAWN DRILLERS outscored the DAVE NADS 9 to

0.

Inmates 4, Drillers 1

Inmates go 4 and 1 at Drillers

Straight HAL vs HAL, confirming lineups, EQAs at 1am…

13 May  Pat Neshek quieted any hopes that SHAWN may have had of a comeback as the

STEVE INMATES beat the SHAWN DRILLERS by a score of 5 to 4.

14 May  Alfredo Simon had a complete game and J.D. Martinez hit 2 doubles and had 2

RBI at Driller Park as the STEVE INMATES beat the SHAWN DRILLERS by the count

of 8 to 1.

15 May  Third baseman Aramis Ramirez went deep and had 3 RBI and Collin McHugh pitched

a 3 hitter as the STEVE INMATES beat the SHAWN DRILLERS by a score of 8 to

1.

 

22 July  At Driller Park the STEVE INMATES were battered 7 to 2 by the SHAWN

DRILLERS. SHAWN took the lead for keeps in the bottom of the 3rd inning when they

tallied 2 runs on 3 hits.  Overall SHAWN out-hit STEVE 10 to 5.

23 July  Center fielder Adam Jones hit 2 doubles and had 2 RBI as the STEVE INMATES

defeated the SHAWN DRILLERS in 11 innings by a score of 5 to 4 at Driller

Park.

Drillers 5, Fungoes 0

Drillers SWEEP Fungos at home!

Straight up HAL vs HAL EQAs and confirming correct lineups.

 

6/28 Puig goes 4 for 5 leading the Drillers to a 7-2 victory!

6/29 Kershaw and Kazmir in a duel of lefties.  Kazmir comes out on top with some bullpen help.  Drillers win 3-2.

 

9/4 Drillers won the game with a run in the bottom of the 9th inning.  Melky Cabrera

slapped a single.  Chris Owings stepped up to the plate and he drew a walk.

After an out was recorded, Jimmy Rollins then ripped a one-base hit giving

Drillers the 3 – 2 victory.

9/5 Fungoes Koehler, Roosenthal,and Robertson get rocked early.  Kazmir with another win.  Drillers win 7-5.

9/6 Neil Walker cracked 2 homeruns and had 3 RBI as the red-hot SHAWN DRILLERS

beat the DEREK FUNGOES by a score of 5 to 3.

Wahoos 6, Drillers 4

Drillers go 4 and 6 in elbow to elbow PC play.

 

We were lucky to get 4.  Encarnacion and Seager combined for 23 rbi.

 

dd

FFTs and Inmates Trade

The FFTs traded Brett Lawrie to the Inmates for Josh Reddick.

Pigs and FFTs Trade

The Warpigs traded Adrian Beltre and Jeff Samardzija to the FFTs for Martin Prado, Josh Rutledge, the Inmate 9th round pick, and the Killer Bee 10th round pick.

Update

The Warpigs have clinched the #1 seed, but there is a great race for the other all-important 1st round bye.

Here are the standings for the #2 seed:

All three teams have mostly cupcakes remaining favorable schedules to finish out the year.

The Inmates have games remaining with the Mavs (10), the Rhinos (7), the Drillers (5), and the Wahoos (2)

The Zaps have the FFTs (10) and the Killer Bees (5)

The Snakes have the Killer Bees (14) and the Fungoes (3)

As for the 2 wild card spots, the standings look like this:

The Fungoes have games remaining with the Wahoos (10), the Drillers (5), and the Sidewinders (3).

The Goofs have completed their regular season.

The Drillers still have to play the Wahoos (10), the Nads (5), the Rhinos (5), the Fungoes (5), and the Inmates (5). 25 of their remaining 30 games are at Driller Park. If he can win 18 of those, he can tie the Goofs. Win 19, and he's in the post season.

The Nads are only 5 games back of the Goofs for the final spot, but they only have 10 games left and would have to sweep them just to tie. And that's not going to happen. Great season, Nadman. Maybe next year.

The Tweeners are 5.5 back, but with 19 games remaining, they have a chance. Not a great chance, since they would have to go 15-4 just to tie the Goofs, but it's possible. Especially since their remaining games are against the Rhinos (10) and the Bees (9), two teams who really suck with draft position on their minds.

Among the teams with winning records, the Wahoos have the most games remaining, but they would need to go 28-15 to leapfrog the Nads and Tweeners and catch the Goofs for the final spot. They are only 1 game over .500 after 119 games, but stranger things have happened.

Now, we can't overlook two other possible scenarios: The Fungoes could still win the HWD. They are only 4 games in back of the Inmates. But the Inmates have the easier remaining schedule. It's a shame they don't have any remaining face to face games. And over in the AWD, the Snakes haven't clinched the division just yet. He needs to go 7-10 the rest of the way to clinch, but he'll probably get 7 wins in his first 6 games against the pork-sucking Bees.

For those of you wondering about the draft order, the Buckeyes have sewn up the 1st pick. In fact, he nailed that down about 10:00 Saturday morning of Draft Weekend. So the rest of you can forget about getting your shot at drafting ARod. The Killer Bees have been criminally throwing games working hard to earn pick #2, holding the edge over the Rhinos (who have 37 games remaining, but ran out of innings 20 games ago), the FFTs (who haven't played a game in 3 months, but somehow still only have 10 to play), the DVs (who have been trying to throw games, but apparently even suck at sucking), and Mavs (who have already figured out that in next year's draft, pick 6 won't be that much worse than pick 1).

Zaps 3, Fungoes 2

Game 1-Jaso get a two-run tater on a 1-3 chance in the first inning and that sets the tone. Perez is safe at second on a 1-5 decide roll in the second to continue the trend. The Zaps try to climb back in the fourth but Perez blocks the plate on a 1-6 change to deny Goldie the run. The next man up ,Rendon, gets revenge with a two-run triple, and Zimmerman’s 4 e30 glove at first costs the Fungoes another run when he boots a grounder by the next batter, Martin. Machado helps pile it on in the next frame with an Earl Weaver special that chases Koehler. The Fungoes come back with a run in the sixth, but Martin cancels it with a tater in the home half. The Fungoes refuse to die and get a couple back in the eighth with the help of an error. Giles tosses a scoreless ninth to give the good guys the opener 10-7.

Game 2- The Fungoes jumped out to a 5-0 lead off Scherzer in the first three frames. The Zaps answered with four runs in the next two innings aided by seemingly endless errors from the right side of the Fungoes infield. Trout hit his second home run of the game in the fifth to stymie the comeback. A mountain of Duffy walks in the eighth allowed in two more. Papelbon got a shaky three inning save to seal the deal 8-5

Game 3-A class pitcher’s duel between Price and Hamels. The Zaps manufactured a couple of runs for an early 2-1 lead and hung on for a 3-2 win.

Game 4- Roark and the pen completely stifle the Zap’s bats and combine for a shutout.

Game 5-Goldie opened the game up with a two-run tater in the third, and the Fungoes could never catch up as six Zap relievers only give up an unearned run as the home team takes the getaway game 4-3.

Zaps 3, DVs 2

Game 1-Niese pitched out of constant trouble through the first five innings and fell behind 2-0 before the Zaps scored three in the bottom of the fifth. The Zaps tacked on a couple of more, and the bullpen made it stand up for a 5-3 win in the opener.

Game 2- Dickerson and Goldschmidt opened the game with back-to-back jacks in the bottom of the first. Stanton unrealistically hits a Kluber heater for an Earl Weaver special in the fourth to put the bad guys ahead. Dickerson hit his second tater of the game in the bottom of the frame to bring the Zaps back to within one. Pujols ended the scoring with a solo shot in the sixth as Hutchinson and the DV pen unrealistically silenced the Zaps bats to reverse the first game score for the bad guys 5-3.

Game 3- Pujols popped a deuce tater in the first. Pearce started the climb back with a solo shot in the second, and Dickerson’s Earl Weaver special gave the good guys a lead in the third. The roadies clawed back for two in the top of the 8^th behind a mountain of walks. Machado stuck a dagger in the hearts of the DV’s in the bottom of the frame with a two-run shot. Giles and Abad shut the door in the 9^th for a 6-4 Zap triumph.

Game 4- Ramos started the scoring with a solo shot in the third, and the bad guys got three runs in the 4^th aided by a wild pitch. The Zaps tried to climb back in the fifth with a brace of runs, but the DV’s pen and the second Ramos shot of the game assured the bad guys of a victory.

 Game 5- Kluber’s end the DV’s back to T-town with a 2-hit shutout between their legs. 

Roster Page Updated

I've added your draft picks for 2016 at the bottom of your list of players on the roster page. It should reflect any 2016 picks traded. The number of reserves you own is next to your  team name at the top of the column.

As always, if I have missed something, let me know.

Pigman

Warpigs 3, Tweeners 2

Runs were hard to come by for both teams today.

All games Netplayed.

At The BallPork

7/19 - Warpigs win 3-0. Adam Wainwright (25-7) threw the complete game shutout, allowing 2 hits and no walks, striking out 6. Justin Morneau hit a solo homer.

7/20 - Tweeners win 2-1. That Damn Pedro Strop! He blew another save, giving up a solo homer to George Springer that tied the game in the 6th and a triple to Zack Cozart in the 7th. Cozart scored the winning run, making That Damn Pedro Strop (1-3) the losing pitcher. Matt Wieters' leadoff homer in the 1st was the only run the Pigs scored against Hisashi Iwakuma and three relievers. Santiago Casilla got the final out for the save.

7/21 - Warpigs win 3-2. Robinson Cano brought the Pigs from behind with a 6th inning 2-run homer off of Shelby Miller, who had otherwise pitched well. Sean Doolittle (4-1), who bailed out That Damn Pedro Strop an inning earlier, got the win. Joe Smith got the final four outs - 3 on Ks - to earn his 22nd save.

At the Hoover Dome

8/30 - Tweeners win 3-1. The Pigs got to King Felix for a 1st inning run, but missed the opportunity to score more - and never scored again. The Tweener runs came on 1 swing of the bat in the 5th inning. After R.A. Dickey retired the first two batters, he surrendered 3 straight singles to load the bases, bringing up Nelson Cruz with the bases loaded and 2 outs. In to face him... That Damn Pedro Strop. I know, I know... but he was DUE! Well, I thought he was due. He was not. Cruz rolled 3-6, which is DO8fbB. He rolled the 8. The hit cleared the bases and gave the Tweeners the win. Felix got the win, Casilla the save, Dickey (17-14) the loss. Because the runs scored in the 5th, TDP Strop was not given a blown save.

8/31 - Warpigs win 4-1. 4 runs! A blow out! A smorgasbord of offense. Morneau homered, and Lance Lynn (17-8) went 6 innings for the win. Joe Smith went 9-up, 9-down for the perfect 3-inning save, his 23rd.

DVs 3, Inmates 2

DiamondVision close their season series against the Inmates winning 3 of 5.

All were close games – DVs win games 1 and 2 at the Penitentiary by 4-3 and 6-5 scores. At the DV park the Inmates win 6-5 and 6-3, before the DVs close out the second game of a DH with a 5-4 win.

DVs didn’t take particularly good notes for the series as Naked and Afraid Marathon was on TV in the background. Perhaps Inmates were less distracted.

The Inmate Version...

All games via netplay.

 

DVS 4 – INMATES 3 (Baptist Bowl): Inmate ass ace McHugh gives up moon shots to Longoria and Pujols before getting out of the 1^st. Altuve got caught stealing and Marte flew into a DP, showcasing additional Inmate lowlights. Clippard recorded a two-inning save for the DVs.

 

DVS 6 – INMATES 5 (Baptist Bowl): Longoria tatered again and the DVs stayed one step ahead of the Inmates to sweep the short series at the Baptist Bowl. Alfredo (Big Pasta) Simon, showing the effects of extreme carb overdosing, allowed everyone coming to the plate to have their way. Clippard with another two-inning save.

 

INMATES 6 – DVS 5 (11 innings - DV Park by Viagra): In the spirit of giving, the Inmates did everything they could to give this one away. A 5-3 lead in the 8^th slipped away when Ramos, Hughes, and Ramirez were allowed to take the hill to toss BP to the DVs. Despite hammering 15 hits, the Inmates left nine on and hit into five double-fucking-plays. An exhausted Clippard (three straight appearances/6.1 IP) took the loss, though, letting Altuve single home Segura with the final run of the game in the Inmate 11^th.

 

INMATES 6 – DVS 3 (DV Park by Viagra): All Inmate offense came as the result of homers by Altuve, Rosario, and Martinez off of Paxton, doing his best Bert Blyleven imitation (remember the “Bert” factor?). Stanton homered for the second straight game, but the Beakless Chicken Gang held on to even the series.

 

DVS 5 – INMATES 4 (DV Park by Viagra): A pox upon Stanton! Two homers, including a game-winning orbital blast in the 7^th, led the DVs to a win in the prophylactic match of the day. Soon-to-be-Inmate-cut Norris kept the ball in the strike zone for the Inmates, K’ing ten propeller heads and allowing four homers, showing that he, too, was afflicted with the “Bert” factor.

Tweeners and Sidewinders Trade

While causing torrential rain in Cincinnati, the Snakes and Tweeners also managed to swap cuts. Michael Saunders to the Sidewinders; Nick Vincent to the Tweeners.

Warpigs 5, SuperGoofs 0

The Warpigs aren't as hot as the Inmates, but they clinched the BUD with this sweep.

All games at The BallPork.

5/13 - Warpigs win 6-2. Victor Martinez had 3 hits, and a 3-run homer by Adrian Beltre took a 3-2 lead to a 6-2 lead in the 8th. R.A. Dickey (17-13) went 5 innings for the win. Sean Doolittle pitched the final 4 innings for his 9th save.

5/14 - Warpigs win 10-2. A rare offensive outburst by the Pigs was the result of 4 home runs. Robinson Cano, Jayson Werth, Troy Tulowitzki, and Adrian Beltre all went deep to support the pitching of Garrett Richards (18-4).

5/15 - Warpigs win 6-0. The Pigs hit 6 doubles, and Jayson Werth added a homer. Adam Wainwright (23-7) and Sean Doolittle combined for the shutout.

7/22 - Warpigs win 3-2. The Goofs held a 2-1 lead in the 7th, but Jake Smolinski doubled off of James Russell, was bunted to 3rd, and scored on an e6 by Alexei Ramirez. Then in the 8th, 2 walks and an RBI-single by VMart gave the Pigs the lead. Doolittle (3-1) got the win, and Joe Smith recorded the final 2 outs for his 21st save. Lucas Duda homered for the Goofs.

7/23 - Pigs win 2-0. Wainwright (24-7) allowed 1 hit and 1 walk in 6 innings. Doolittle allowed 1 hit and no walks in the final 3 innings for his 10th save. Francisco Cervelli went 3-3.

Sidewinders 3, Tweeners 1

Details coming, but the Snakes are now tied with the Goofs for first in the AWD.

The Race to the Pennant

With the regular season winding down, there are tight races going on in the Herman Wheeler Division, the Ab Wheeler Division, and for the two wild card spots.

In the HWD, the red hot Inmates (18-3 in their last 21 games) have forged ahead of the Fungoes and currently lead them by 4 games. The Inmates' magic number is 23. The Nads have dropped out of the division race, trailing the Inmates by 11.5 games.

Over in the AWD, the Goofs have a 1 game lead over the Sidewinders. The Goofs' magic number is 13 but only have 5 games left to play, meaning the Snakes hold their fortune in their own hands. The Goofs should be a playoff team either way - the only question being, "Will he have his playoff dice ready to go?" The Tweeners are 6.5 games back and will have a lot to say about how this division turns out.

In the MFD, the Zaps hold a commanding 7.5 games lead over the Drillers. The Zap magic number is 21.

The Warpigs have not quite mathematically wrapped up the BUD, but their magic number is 4, so the BUD title is theirs.

As for the wild card, here are the current standings:










If the playoffs started today, the seeds would be:
1 - Pigs
2 - Inmates
3 - Zaps vs 6 - Snakes
4 - Goofs vs 5 - Fungoes

Inmates 6, Nads 1

Inmates continue to pummel buttocks kick ass. All games at the Baptist Bowl via CM.

 

INMATES 5 – NADS 3: Inmates score a pair in the bottom of the 4^th to take the lead for good. Tillman allowed 12 hits in six innings for the loss.

 

NADS 6 – INMATES 2: A rare re-appearance of the LDMF. Cosart and Rendon allowed only four hits, while Frazier had three RBI. Of no particular significance: the Inmates struck out only once (Altuve).

 

INMATES 9 – NADS 4: Two games in one. The first lasted two innings and was totally dominated by the Nads, who scored twice in both the 1^st and 2^nd. The Inmates managed to get runners on in both innings, but hit into inning-ending double-fucking-plays. All hell broke loose in the bottom of the 3^rd, however, capped by a three-run tater by Jones. The Nads managed only four hits the rest of the way.

 

INMATES 3 – NADS 2: A singularly unexciting game with the ultimate winning run scoring in the bottom of the 7^th on a passed ball by Montero.

 

INMATES 10 – NADS 6: Not as close as the final score. The Nads scored three in the 9^th off of a tiring Big Pasta Simon to make it look like a real game. Rizzo, Reddick, Martinez, and Rosario all homered for the Beakless Chicken Gang.

 

INMATES 3 – NADS 2: A Rizzo three-run homer in the 2^nd was all the scoring the Inmates got, but it was all they needed. Adams and Crawford both tatered for the Nads, but both were solo shots.

 

INMATES 7 – NADS 4: The Inmates scored five in the 5^th and two more in the 6^th to ice the game. The Nads once again delayed scoring until late with a three-spot in the 8^th, but by then it was too late.

 

The HEAD INMATE

Inmates 5, Killer Bees 0

I don't have any details yet, but the games were played at The Beehive, and the Inmate sweep vaults them into 1st place in the HWD.

Warpigs 4, DVs 3

All games played at The BallPork via Netplay.

5/19 - Warpigs win 7-3. Adam Wainwright (21-7) went 7 innings, allowing only 4 hits and no walks for the win. Justin Morneau had 3 hits and knocked in 4.

5/20 - DVs win 2-1. Albert Pujols had a 2-out, 2-run hit in the 7th for the win. The Pigs have had only 4 blown saves all year, but 3 have been by Pedro Strop and 2 of those came against the DVs. Robinson Cano homered in the 1st.

5/21 - DVs win 7-6. J.J. Hardy and Dexter Fowler, the 8-9 hitters for the DVs, combined to go 5-8, with 3 runs and 4 RBI. The Pigs ralled late, with rare homers from Jake Smolinski and Jon Jay (his first of the year), but came up short.

7/27 - Warpigs win 1-0 in 13 innings. Some batting averages took a beating in this one. Stephen Strasburg threw a complete game for the DVs, as the Pigs kept rolling 4-9 and 6-9, neither of which involves putting the ball in play. Garrett Richards allowed 5 hits and 4 walks in his 5 innings, but somehow kept anyone from crossing the plate. The DVs had 2 runners on in each of the first 4 innings. Joe Smith (3-0) got the win in relief, going an amazing 5.2 innings. In the bottom of the 13th, Lorenzo Cain led off with a single and was bunted over by Yadier Molina. Robby Cano singled, but Cain was forced to hold up at 3rd. Jayson Werth sent the Pig faithful home happy with a walk-off single.

7/28 - Warpigs win 7-2. Cano, Morneau, and Victor Martinez homered to back the pitching of Wainwright (22-7), who went 7 innings for the win.

7/29 - DVs win 4-2. Matt Holliday hit a 3-run homer off of R.A. Dickey in the 2nd inning, and that was enough to support the pitching of Drew Hutchison. Dexter Fowler added an insurance run late with a solo shot. Tyler Clippard got the save.

7/30 - Warpigs win 2-0. Michael Wacha (10-5) finished the regular season with a bang. He hit the floor after 5.2 innings of 1-hit ball. The bullpen allowed only 1 more hit for the Pigs' 100th win of the season and their 26th shutout. Joe Smith, fresh after 2 days off following his marathon performance, got the last 4 outs for his 20th save. The Pigs only had 2 hits themselves, but 1 of them was a 1st inning 2-run blast by VMart.

Killer Bees 3, Rhinos 2

Rhinos go 2-3 vs the Bees

Jun 2 Rhinos 5 Bees 2

Jun 3 Bees 3 Rhinos 0

Jun 4 Bees 4 Rhinos 3

Aug 10 Rhinos 7 Bees 6

Aug 11 Bees 9 Rhinos 3

Tweeners 4, Killer Bees 1

Bees continue their epic slide, manage 1 win vs the Tweeners at the Hive.  Tweeners go 4-1.

Inmates 4, Drillers 1

Via CM at the Baptist Bowl:

 

INMATES 8 – DRILLERS 0: Five Inmate pitchers hold the Driller bats to four hits. Gattis and Marte homered for the Beakless Chicken Gang. Drillers just sucked.

 

INMATES 5 – DRILLERS 3: Keuchel pitched reasonably well, giving up only solo taters to Jones and Rosario. He fielded shittily with his own boot allowing an unearned run in the 4^th. Rosario hit his second HR of the game in the 8^th to push the lead to 5-1; a two-run Driller rally in the 9^th (including a tater by Zufuckingnino) made it close, but that was it.

 

INMATES 6 – DRILLERS 5: Once again the Drillers score two in the 9^th to make it look close. HAL had Shields take one for the team, pitching a CG 11-hitter. Rizzo was never fooled going 4-4 with a pair of homers.

 

INMATES 7 – DRILLERS 0: The humiliation continued with the Drillers getting shutout by Norris (!!!). HAL gives up again, allowing Wheeler to get pummeled for all seven Inmate runs.

 

DRILLERS 2 – INMATES 1: Drillers avoid the ignominy of a sweep when Jennings hit  a one-out single in the top of the 9^th to plate what turned out to be the game-winner. LDMF bats fell silent, with everyone too tired to run the bases after the last game’s batting practice.

 

Inmates remain relatively hot.

 

The HEAD INMATE

Inmates 3, Goofs 2

All via CM at the Baptist Bowl:

 

GOOFS 6 – INMATES 3: The Goofs score three-spots in both the 2^nd and 8^th innings while the Fucked-Up-Dog pitching staff held the LDMF to not much.

 

INMATES 7 – GOOFS 2: The Inmates hit five bombs (JDMartinez twice), including back-to-back-to-back shots in the 8^th by Martinez, Rizzo, and Jones to blow open an otherwise fairly close game.

 

INMATES 2 – GOOFS 0: NO-HITTER! NO-HITTER! NO-HITTER! Three Inmate pitchers (Norris [!!!], Ramos, and Neshek) combined to totally shut down the Goofs in the second no-no ever tossed by the Inmate staff. Goof pitchers did well, holding the LDMF to only 5 hits and two runs, but WTF! NO-HITTER!

 

INMATES 8 – GOOFS 7: Duda hit a pair of HRs for the Goofs, but after Hughes allowed the Inmates to close the gap to 7-5 Street came in and performed an act of self-immolation, allowing a three-run tater to Rizzo to throw the game away.

 

GOOFS 3 – INMATES 1: A pitchers’ duel with the LDMF collecting only three hits to lose the series finale.

 

The HEAD INMATE