DVs 2, Warpigs 1

Via NetPlay at The DV MaxiPad

Game 1 - DVs win 10-9 in 12 innings. The DVs hit 6 FHRs, two by Granderson, who rolled in the 3-column every at bat of every game (ISYN). All six DV FHRs were 1-13 chances. He rolled single digit numbers on all six rolls. #NotBitter.

Game 2 - DVs win 5-1 in 8 1/2 innings. The DVs hit 3 more Fhomers. A bit of a downward trend for the home team, but it made little difference. How do you get 2-hit and STILL have 7 caught stealings in the game?!? All were 1-18 or better. #NotDespondent

Game 3 - Warpigs win 3-1. Stanton Fhomered in the 1st, then the whole DV team retired to the beach on the Tulsa coast, allowing the game to be finished by vendors and ushers, who still almost pulled off the sweep. The Pigs tied it in the 7th and scored 2 more in the 9th off of Viagra Fan of the Game Dick Short, who just didn't have enough to pull it off. The Pigs hit into 11 DPs in this game alone - a new record for a 9-inning game. #NotDrunk #Yet

Checkmate

The Sidewinders clinched the 2018 NASOMA title today - a record for the earliest in the calendar year to win the Higdon.

The Snakes, who had wrapped up the 2018 AWD title about three years ago, went ahead and won the Higdon as well, with the clincher being another trade with the Wahoos.

Edwin Encarnacion

Roberto Osuna

David Dahl (on ground)

The Sidewinders sent reserve picks in 2018, 2019, and 2020, a 2nd round pick in 2019, a 1st round pick in 2020, and the rights to injured, uncarded minor leaguer David Dahl to the Wahoos. In return, the Sidewinders received reliever Roberto Osuna, Edwin Encarnacion, and pick 78.

"If I've learned anything," commented the Snakeman, "I've learned that there's always someone willing to give you their best players if you pile up enough shit to give in return. I mean, hell, I didn't give up a single damn thing from this year."

"To be honest," continued the Snakeman, "I was kinda irritated having only 7 of the best 8 relievers in the league. Now I have all of the top 8, which means I will not only win my third straight Higdon, but I can also get the plaque engraved for 2017 and 2018 in one trip. It's really just a time-saver for me."

Congratulations, Sidewinders, on the back-to-back-to-back titles.

Wahoos 6, Warpigs 1

Cards and dice at the Pigsty. The Wahoos vault back into 1st place in the BUD.

The first 5 games were played at SGP's Reservation. Who the hell schedules a 5-game series? Reminds me of college baseball with a game Friday night, a triple header on Saturday, and a game Sunday morning before getting on the bus to head back home.

April 16 - Wahoos win 5-4. The Wahoos, thanks mainly to the fact that Joe Ross sucks, scored 5 runs in the 1st inning before bagging up their bats. The Warpigs also only scored in one inning, with a 4-run 6th. Logan Forsythe missed a 1-12 grand slam on Tyler Thornburg's card that would have given the Pigs the lead. This was as close as the Pigs would get to a win until after the bus ride back home.

April 17 - Wahoos win 9-4. Jake Lamb had a double, a homer, and 2 walks. If I'm not mistaken, the next best Pig went 0-4 with 3 Ks. This could have been worse... the Wahoos hit into 6 double plays.

April 18 - Wahoos win 16-1. The Weekend at Bernies guy who was propped up on the mound struck out 18. The Hoos had 19 hits, 7 walks, and 1 hit batter. Pig pitchers will suffer fines in the Kangaroo Court for only hitting one batter. Oh, and we made 4 errors. No really, this is fun.

April 19 - Wahoos win 9-1. Such fun.

April 20 - Wahoos win 8-1. Such fucking fun.

The last two games took place in Hooterville at The BallPork. Thank God.

May 30 - Warpigs win 6-5. With the game tied 5-5, Hunter Pence hit a walkoff solo homer with 2 outs in the 9th inning. It was Pence's 2nd homer of the game. Pigs win! Pigs win!

May 31 - Wahoos win 5-2. The Warpigs had only 4 hits - all doubles. Some guy named Mike Foltynewicz pitched like Jake Arrieta, but it helps when the opposing team makes 25 of their 27 outs in the 5-column.

Brotherly Love Trade

The Killer Bees sent Mike Zunino and Yangervis Solarte to the Sidewinders for pick 112. The Snakes also had to agree to rub one out for the Beeboy at the Draft. "It'll be like when we were kids," said the Snakeman. "We called it a reach around back then, but look at my brother. My arms aren't long enough to do that now."