Rhino Games

Rhinos vs Zaps = 0 - 5

Rhinos vs Buckeyes = 1 - 4

Rhinos vs Nads = 3 - 4

Rhinos vs Goofs = 3 - 2

Inmates 3, Zaps 2

All games at the Baptist Bowl:

 

INMATES 16 – ZAPS 7:    A classic softball game with offense but no defense or pitching. Rosario had two taters (including a grand salami) and seven RBI to pace the beer-swilling lumbering oafs from the Baptist Bowl.

 

ZAPS 4 – INMATES 3:      Kluber is tough, Giles gets out of a jam in the 9^th, and Joey Bats’ 2-run HR in the 7^th is enough to beat the Beakless Chicken Gang.

 

INMATES 7 – ZAPS 4:      Greinke toughed out a CG 12-hitter but gave up homers to Marte, JD Martinez, and Gattis to take the loss. Neshek gets a save in a rare effective appearance for the Inmates.

 

INMATES 5 – ZAPS 4 (10 innings):             Pineda got bitch-slapped early by Zap bats, but Farquhar imploded in the 10^th  for the Zaps. Vargas’ one-out single with runners on second and third was all it took for the Inmates to steal the game.

 

ZAPS 13 – INMATES 2:    Holy shit, Batman! Zap batters swat four taters, score 5 in both the 3^rd and 7^th, and generally have their way with the Inmates. Kluber spreads out ten hits in a CG effort. The Inmate pitching staff stand on the mound, drop trow, and take it up the poop-chute.

 

The HEAD INMATE

Fungoes 4, Killer Bees 1

Thanks for the beat down.  Fungi take 4 of 5 at the Hive.

Killer Bees 4, SuperGoofs 3

Bees take 4 of 7 at the Hive.

Tweeners 3, Fungoes 2

Fungoes and Tweeners results at WTF

April 17:

In a game for the baseball purist, David Price(5-3) and Hisashi Iwakuma(3-1)

squared off in a tense pitching duel,the Fungoes prevailed in the end winning it 3-1.

Cruz homered for the Tweeners only run in the first inning smashing a Ball Park 

homer (HR 1, Fly 2-20)!  Fungoes took the lead in the bottom half of the second on 

an Everth Cabrera homer (HR 1-6, Fly 7-20)!  The wind was blowing out at WTF!   

Trout also blasted a Homer for the Fungoes!  Jonathan Papelbon recorded the save, his 11th.

April 18:

Felix Hernandez(2-0) and Clayton Kershaw(5-3) dueled it out with Hernandez and

the Tweeners came out on top by the score of 1 to 0.  The game's lone run scored 

in the top of the 2nd inning when Nolan Arenado got to Kershaw for a Homer.  That was all

Hernandez needed.  Hernandez got help from Santiago Casilla who pitched a

perfect ninth and was credited with his 6th save.  

April 19:

Mike Trout slammed a homerun and had 2 RBI as the Fungoes defeated the

Tweeners 4 to 3 at WTF Field.

The winning pitcher was Kyle Gibson(2-0) who allowed 1 run in 8 and 1/3

innings. Madison Bumgarner(4-2) took the loss. 

June 30:

Shortstop Zack Cozart had 3 base hits and 2 RBI as the Tweeners beat the

Fungoes by a score of 7 to 1.

The Fungoes found themselves trailing quickly as Tweener bats came through in the

first inning scoring 2 runs on 1 hit.  That early run support was all that

Madison Bumgarner(5-2) required. David Price(5-4) suffered the loss.  He gave up 6 runs 

and 7 hits in 6 innings.

July 1:

Felix Hernandez carried a no-hitter into the 7th inning as the Tweeners

defeated the Fungoes by a score of 3 to 1 at WTF Field.

Cory Rasmus(1-0) was brilliant in relief and registered the victory.  He did

not allow a baserunner in his 1 and 1/3 innings dropping his ERA from 5.40 to

4.50.  The right-handed Hernandez had his no-hit bid broken up by Daniel

Murphy who singled with two outs in the 7th inning.  The DEREK bats were

silent in the bottom of the 9th. 

Rasmus got help from Zach Duke who earned his 2nd save.  Seth Maness(1-2)

ended up with the loss in relief.  He pitched 2 innings giving up 4 hits and

no walks.

Too much Tweener pitching for the Fungoes in this series!  Nelson Cruz said hello to his former team with two HR!

Goofs 4, Mavs 1

The most thorough drubbing I've had in years.  Outscored 57-11 in five games.

6/17  DeGrom against Matt Cain.  Justin Upton hits  a 1-9 ballpark tater in the bottom of the first.  The Goofs counter with a double off Cain’s card.  Not satisfied with that Cain takes an infield single and throws it down the right field line.  Michael Morse plays a grounder into a single.  Alexi Ramirez singles into center driving in the second run.  Rolls his lead and Lucroy throws it into center scoring the third run.  The fans make a run for Oxycontin and a beer.  In the bottom of the fourth the Mavs add a run when Phillips can’t turn two and Ozuna manages a run scoring single.  The Goofs manager looks around for the Oxycontin stand.  Kolten Wong ties the game with a double.  The Goofs manager finds the Oxycontin stand and hunts down the Jim Beam booth but Bryce Harper strikes out and Andrus pops out.  3-3 heading to the fifth.  By the eighth inning both teams are into their bullpens.  Unfortunately for the Mavs, Carrasco has already pitched three so they are forced to try Justin Wilson.  Somehow Wilson overcomes a Kolten Wong error (the Mavs third of the game) and holds the Goofs scoreless.  Meanwhile Hal leaves Houston Street in for a second straight inning.  Needless to say Street shuts down the hapless Mavs.  Top of the ninth.  The Mavs stay with Wilson (it worked for Hal with Street).  With two down, Span rolls a Ballpark single, steals second.  The Mavs intentionally walk Ramirez to get to Nava hitting righthanded.  1-8 roll, double 1-2 fly (1-8 homer, double for Ramirez) and the fly ends the top of the ninth.  Remarkably Hal brings in extreme backwards lefty James Russell to face Bryce Harper in the bottom of the ninth.  It didn’t matter much because the real problem was Duda’s lack of range.  X chart single for Harp.  Elvis bunts him to second.  Lucroy rolls a 1-16 one star single.  Runners on the corner.  The Mavs pinch hit Homer Bailey.  The Goofs suspect a squeeze play.  They are right and Homer Allowed Bailey delivers.  Mavs win 4-3.  Goofs manager looks for the morphine booth.  Justin Wilson picks up the win and the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds player of the game award.

6/18 Rumored cross dresser Mashiro Tanaka takes the hill against late draft pick Jason Hammel.  In Mashiro’s honor many fans come dressed as women.  Of course we play our home games in San Francisco so it is really just another day at the ball park.  Hammel gives up a homer, walk, double, single but only two runs thanks to Ozuna’s arm in the top of the first.  Tanaka hitches up his garter and executes the shutdown inning.  Meanwhile three hits ensue in the top of the second.  3-0 Goofs when the dust clears and Tanaka reapplies his makeup.  The Goofs score five more in the fourth.  This happens so frequently to Hammel that we can’t even remember how it happened.  Marcel Ozuna hits a tater.  Nava makes his second error of the series (e6 out there in right – thanks Hal) but Tanaka tightens up his bra strap and shuts the Mavs down.  8-1 in the fifth.  The Mavs bring in Carlos Martinez and wonder when we’ll institute a Mercy Rule.  The Goofs bring in Drew Storen to pad their save stats in the bottom of the seventh.  Denard Span steals second up six runs for good measure.  There will be some HBPs in the next game.  The Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game goes to Denard Span who went 3 for 5 with the aforementioned stolen base.

8/24 Lohse vs. Odorizzi  The Mavs start the scoring in the second when Chris Davis scores from first with two outs on a double by Kolten Wong.  Hal notes that was aggressive base running by Tad.  Apparently winded by the dash around the bases, Davis throws a ball into the stands and the Goofs tie the game.  The Goofs load the bases on three ball park singles but Denard Span chokes in the clutch in the top of the fourth.  The Mavs put runners on the corner with no outs.  Span being a frigging 1 holds the runner at third on a CF X.  A second CF X results in a fly ball B.  Mavs up 2-1 going to the fifth.  In the top of the fifth Odorizzi gives up a single, a ballpark tater that became a single because 3 hole hitter McGehee is week and a walk and collapses in a heap on the mound.  Bases loaded, nobody out.  The Mavs go to their closer in the fifth inning??  It would have worked too except Elvis is a two not a one.  So unable to turn two Holland hits a batter walks a couple more and the Goofs take a 4-2 lead.  The Goofs tack on two insurance runs that would have been a lot more if Span weren’t weak.  The Goofs score another run in the eighth on a single 1-2 lineout and the Mavs can read the writing on the wall.  Time to save AB’s.  The Goofs win 7-3.  The Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game goes to former Mav David DeJesus who went 3-4 with two RBI’s.

 8/25 Ryu vs. Trimble Tech’s Yovanni Gallardo.  The Goofs score four in the top of the first.  Boy this is a lot of fun.  The Goofs score another twelve in the top of the second including four straight 1-9 ball park singles.  I can’t tell you how much we are enjoying this.  Let’s take it batter by batter from here.  Carlos Martinez holds the Goofs to a two run homer in the third.  The Mavs push across a run in the bottom of the fourth averting a shutout and earning a standing ovation from the six remaining fans.  In the sixth Carlos Martinez tires and the Mavs try a new strategy of tiring the Goofs out for the next game and leave Martinez in.  Four more runs for the Goofs.  22-1 going to the bottom of the sixth.  Up 23-1 the Goofs bring in James Russell in the bottom of the seventh.  Fearing a 22 run uprising the Goofs move on to Drew Storen for the bottom of the ninth.  Hal’s write up claims that the Goofs man-handled the Mavs and we note that Wong was in the lineup and wonder about the Goofs man-handling tendencies.  Every Goof scored a run and drove in a run.  In fact the only Goof with just a single RBI was Duda and the only one with just one run scored was DeJesus.  22 hits, 8 walks and 3 HBP’s.  It could have been worse.  Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game goes to David Freese 5 for 6 with three runs scored and four RBI’s.  23-1 Goofs.

8/26 Hughes vs Hammel.  The Mavs come into the finale having been outscored 43-10 in four games.  The fans arrive early  only because it is “Hot Pants Day” and our ballgirls are provided by Betty’s Brothel.  The Goofs take, surprise, an early lead scoring two in the top of the first.  The Goofs add one in the fourth and four in the fifth and the Mavs do something they almost never do.  EQA.  Final score 16-1 Goofs.  Carlos Martinez gives up 13 hits and 8 earned runs in three innings of relief.  Hughes goes nine and wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game. 

Fungoes 4, Nads 3

Fungoes played home games vs Nads.  All games played at WTF.

May 22:

Salvador Perez had 3 base hits as the Fungoes won a heart-stopping

victory over the Nads, 5 to 4.

The deciding run was scored in the bottom of the 9th.  Perez lined a

single.  Mookie Betts stepped into the batter's box and he laced a

base-knock.  Betts then stole second base.  After an out was recorded, the Fungoes

continued their aggressive style with another stolen base.  Matt Carpenter

stepped into the box and ripped a walk-off single sending the 46,277 

home-town fans home happy.  

David Robertson(1-0) got credit for the victory, pitching 1 inning and

allowing no runs. Doug Fister(2-7) was charged with the loss.  

May 23:

In an exciting finish the Fungoes pulled out a win over the Nads by

a score of 2 to 1 at WTF Field.

The Fungoes scored the deciding run in the 9th inning.  Mike Trout drew a walk.

Trout got a good lead and stole second.  After an out was recorded, Eric

Hosmer then smashed a walk-off double resulting in an exciting win for the Fungoes and a wild

post-game celebration by the home town fans.  

The win was credited to David Robertson(2-0) who went 1/3 of an inning allowing no runs. Josh Collmenter(4-3) absorbed the loss.  

May 24:

The Nads ended a winless drought defeating the Fungoids, 5 to 4.

In the 5th inning the Nads scored 2 runs with the help of 3 hits.  The highlight

belonged to Josh Harrison who quieted the home crowd when he lined a base-hit

bringing home two baserunners.  

Chris Tillman(4-2) was the winner allowing 4 runs in 6 and 2/3 innings.

Tillman got help from Tony Sipp who was credited with his 4th save.  Tom

Koehler(1-1) was the loser.  He was touched for 9 hits and 2 walks in 6

innings. 'It's been a rough ride lately, but this was a good win for us' said the 

Nadman, 'Maybe this will put us back on track.'

May 25:

David Price went 7 and two third strong innings at WTF Field as the Fungoes shut out

the Nads winning it 2-0.

Price(4-3) was virtually untouchable.  He was stingy on the mound, allowing

just 3 hits and no walks in 7 and 2/3 innings.  Price racked up 9 strikeouts

lowering his ERA to 3.14. The Fungoes meanwhile scored both of their runs on suicide squeeze bunts.

Jonathan Papelbon recorded the save, his 9th.  Jarred Cosart(4-4) suffered the loss.  He surrendered 2 runs and 5 hits in 6 and 2/3 innings.

July 31:

One run was the difference at WTF Field as the Fungoes defeated the Nads 5 to 4.

Kyle Gibson(1-0) pitched well for the Fungi in their victory.  He surrendered 6

hits and 4 walks in 6 and 2/3 innings reducing his ERA from 3.05 to 2.63.

Nads tried unsuccessfully to come back in the 9th. 

Jonathan Papelbon gained credit for his 10th save.  Josh Collmenter(4-4) took

the loss.  He surrendered 5 runs and 11 hits in 5 and 1/3 innings. 

Al Kaline was beaming after the game, 'Not only were we making good

contact, but a lot of balls we hit seemed to have 'eyes'! I just love winning these tight ones! It was just our day - no doubt about it!'

August 1:
Left fielder Carl Crawford had 2 base hits and 2 RBI at WTF Field where the
Nads beat the Fungoes in 10 innings by the score of 5 to 4.
Both teams had scored 4 runs after nine full innings. The Naddies won the game in
the 10th inning. Todd Frazier ripped a base-knock. Adrian Gonzalez followed
with a double. Brian Dozier then drew a walk to load the bases. One out
later, Crawford came to the plate and hit a sacrifice fly. Miguel Montero
was the next batter, but he struck out. DAVE had 12 hits for the night.
The win went to Kevin Jepsen(1-1) who allowed no runs in 2 and 2/3 innings.
Seth Maness(1-1) was charged with the loss in relief. He gave up 1 run and 2 hits in 1/3 of an inning.

August 2:

Jarred Cosart had a strong outing at WTF Field where the Nads beat the

Fungoes by the score of 3 to 1.

DAVE scored 2 runs in the decisive top of the 5th inning with the help of 3

hits.  The biggest moment was provided by Josh Harrison who quieted the home

crowd when he cleared the fences for a two-run home run.  Tony Sipp was

perfect in relief and gained credit for his 5th save. 

Cosart(5-4) went 7 innings allowing 1 run for the victory. Tanner Roark(0-3) took the loss.  He gave up 3 runs and 6 hits in 7 and 1/3 innings.

Zaps 4, Inmates 1

Game 1- The Inmates hit and hit and hit some more. 18 hits, 10 runs, and
1 giant 10-6 ass whooping to start the series.
Game 2- The Zaps draw even with 5 home runs in game to power a 9-3 triumph.
Game 3- Kluber shuts down the Inmate bats while Pearce and Rendon drive
the Zap offense with a combined 6-3-5-4 line.
Game 4- The visitors jumped out to a 4-0 lead, but the home boys chipped
away, tied the game in the 9th, and won it in the 10th, 5-4.
Game 5- Kluber cruised into the 7th with a 4-1 lead, but in the 9th the
home pen gave up four runs on three taters only to see the Zap bats win
it in the 10th on four singles for a 6-5 getaway game W.

Steve Busby is losing it.

Conversation from tonight's Ranger game against the Angels after C.J. Cron pulled two straight foul balls into the Angels' dugout on the 3rd base side...

Steve Busby: Remember Keith Marshall? He was with us...
Tom Grieve: Keith Marshall?
SB: ...back in the 80s.
TG: No.
SB: Outfielder?
TG: (after a pause) My memory only goes back to about '89, '91.
SB: Right handed hitter. He cleaned out the Angel dugout on 5 consecutive foul balls one night. Just ripping the ball into the Angel dugout, and he finally got everybody to leave the dugout.
TG: That was David Hulse, wasn't it?
SB: No. Hulse was a left-handed hitter. Marshall was a right-handed hitter.
TG: Well, I don't remember that.

There's a reason why Tom doesn't remember that. It didn't happen.

The facts that Keith Marshall batted right-handed and that Hulse was a lefty were the only facts Busby got right. For one, Keith Marshall never played for the Rangers. He also never played in the 80s. According to retrosheet.org, Keith Marshall played in 8 games for the 1973 Royals... and that was it. And Grieve was right, it was Hulse who peppered the Angel dugout with several consecutive foul balls, causing everyone to leave the dugout. It's also odd that Busby would assume that the more likely guy to hit foul balls into the 3rd base dugout would be a right-handed hitter and dismiss the idea that a left-handed batter could manage it.

To be fair, the '73 KC team this Marshall guy played on featured Steve Busby as its ace. And Marshall did play a game in California against the Angels. It was only 1 plate appearance, but it was his first major league hit (half his career total), so it's possible he fouled off 5 straight pitches into the Angel dugout in that one at bat. But the more likely thing is... Busby is losing it.

Nads 1, Tweeners 1

Tweeners go 1-1 at Nads to end year’s series at 7-3 (Tweeners-Nads)

 

Aug 15 TWEENERS at The NADS  -  The NADS jumped on top to stay in the bottom of the 5th inning scoring one runner. Jeremy Affeldt earned the save with a perfect ninth, his 1st save.  Chris Tillman(4-2) went 6 and 2/3 innings allowing 4 runs for the win. Hisashi Iwakuma(3-1) was tagged with the loss.

 

Auqust 16th - Nolan Arenado touched them all and had 3 RBI and Sonny Gray went

the distance at Kauffman Stadium as the TWEENERS beat the NADS by the count of 7 to 2.

Nads 3, Goofs 2

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My Managing Career in the Show

I'm sitting here watching the Rangers taking on the Mariners on a Sunday afternoon. The M's are wearing their old school home uniforms today, and it prompted Tom Grieve and Steve Busby to recount Seattle names from the years when they wore these. And it reminded me of the time I set the Seattle lineup.

Stop me if you've heard this one (just kidding - I'm telling the story anyway, so shut up and read on).

It was June 1984, and I was working the best part-time job ever. I was the press box attendant, a sort of aide to Media Relations Director Burt Hawkins. I met more players and former players that summer than I have in all the rest of my life combined. Some of men I met: Don Drysdale (1984 was his HOF induction year), Brooks Robinson, Yogi Berra, George Brett, a naked Jim Rice (a story for another time)... Tom Grieve gave me his APBA game... I had a lengthy conversation with Cal Ripken, Jr... I had dinner with Bob Uecker... It was an amazing summer.

The bulk of my time was spent sitting in the press box watching the game with the writers (Tim Kurkjian and I exchanged trivia questions every night), but my responsibilities started several hours before game time, and one of my jobs was to go to both clubhouses and get the starting lineups for each team. I would type them up (along with the umpire rotation), make copies, and take them to all the media booths. The first drop off was to Chuck Morgan and the guys who ran the scoreboard.

For some reason, that day I mistakenly marked Al Davis as the DH and Ken Phelps at 1b. They were usually the other way around. When the information appeared on the diamond vision scoreboard, Seattle manager Del Crandall called the booth wanting to know why the two were switched. Chuck Morgan was looking at me and about to throw me under the bus when Crandall said, "Ah, you know what? Keep it that way. Davis could use a break."

So my lineup stayed. Seattle scored 10 runs in their win that night - no doubt because of the defensive change in the lineup.

Crandall never asked for my help again. It was his loss, of course, as the club didn't score double digit runs again until mid-July. In fact, they only scored double digit runs twice more before Crandall was fired at the end of August.

Alas, I started my teaching career that fall and had to give up the press box job. In later years I would work on the grounds crew for a time, and then after the Rangers moved to the new ballpark, I spent several years as the night and weekend supervisor for the call center. Those were also fun part-time jobs. And while those jobs didn't interfere with my teaching job, they also didn't give me the opportunity to set the starting lineup.

On the other hand, there was the time when Nolan Ryan insisted I be the one to prepare the bullpen mound before one of his starts. But that's another story.

Killer Bees 5, Mavs 0

Somehow we have won 8 straight games, I think I need to go to Vegas.  Bees take all 5 at the Hive.

Killer Bees 3, Buckeyes 2

Bees take 3 of 5 vs Buckeyes

4/28 Bees 4 Buckeyes 3

4/29 Bees 6 Buskeyes 5

4/30 Buckeyes 7 Bees 5 (10 innings)

7/11 Buckeyes 8 Bees 6

7/12 Bees 7 Buckeyes 3

Killer Bees 3, Warpigs 2

Games played at the Bee Hive.

Killer Bees 4, Buckeyes 1

Games at the BeeHive.

The Buckeyes continue their quest of 100 losses before the end of May.

Warpigs 4, DVs 0

The DVs and Warpigs netplayed 4 games tonight. All 4 games were played at DV Park by Viagra.

Gm1 - Pigs win 4-2. The DVs led 2-1 going to the 8th. With a lefty on to relieve Rick Porcello, Jake Smolinksi was called on for the first time this year (or ever). He singled. A righty came on and Lance Lynn pinch hit to bunt the pinch runner over. But all the pinch bunting and pinch running was made moot when Victor Martinez drove a pitch over the wall and into the pool beyond center field. Joe Smith saved the game for Adam Wainwright (10-1).

Gm2 - Pigs win 3-2 in 10 innings. The DV starting pitching (Hutchison this time) again stifled the Pig bats. And again, the DV bullpen came on to rectify that. A.J. Pollock tripled and Robby Cano  and Jayson Werth both doubled to start the 8th inning to give the Pigs a 2-1 lead. A homer by Wilson Ramos in the bottom of the 9th tied the game, but VMart homered in the 10th for the deciding run. Darren O'Day got the last 3 outs for the save.

Gm3 - Pigs win 7-2. Lorenzo Cain, Robinson Cano, and Adrian Beltre each had 3 hits, and Jayson Werth walked 4 times. Cain and Yadier Molina hit back-to-back homers in the 9th to break open a close game. Lance Lynn (6-1) went 5.1 for the win, and Pedro Strop earned the save. It could have been much worse, but Troy Tulowitzki stranded 10 runners.

Gm4 - Pigs win 14-3. Jose Fernandez (4-1) went the distance in the second half of the twin bill at DV Park by Viagra. Five different Pigs homered as part of a 19-hit attack. Said DV manager Todd Helton, "Seriously, if it wasn't for the free samples given out by our ballpark's sponsor, I wouldn'ta enjoyed this at all."

Drillers 3, Goofs 2

Driller Win a Tweener split with the Goofs 3 to 2

4/28 Scott Kazmir had a complete game and Jose Abreu had 5 hits and 2 RBI at

Driller Park as the SHAWN DRILLERS beat the PHIL -SG SUPER GOOFS 7 to

1.

 

4/29 Designated hitter Angel Pagan had 4 hits and 2 RBI at Driller Park where the

PHIL -SG SUPER GOOFS beat the SHAWN DRILLERS by the score of 4 to 0.

 

4/30 The SHAWN DRILLERS tallied 5 runs in the 5th inning and had very little

trouble at Driller Park downing the PHIL -SG SUPER GOOFS.  The score was 6 to

1.

 

7/11 Center fielder Denard Span had 4 hits at Driller Park where the PHIL -SG SUPER

GOOFS beat the SHAWN DRILLERS by the score of 6 to 3.

 

7/12 Zack Wheeler tossed a complete game as the SHAWN DRILLERS bested the PHIL -SG

SUPER GOOFS 7 to 1 at Driller Park.

Sidewinders 3, Drillers 2

Drillers Fall to Snakes 2 Games to 3

6/17 Dee Gordon had 3 base hits and 2 RBI at Driller Park as the VINCE SIDEWINDERS

beat the SHAWN DRILLERS by the count of 7 to 2.

 

6/18 Buster Posey lofted one into the 'cheap seats' and had 3 RBI at Driller Park

where the SHAWN DRILLERS beat the VINCE SIDEWINDERS by the score of 8 to

5.

 

8/24 VINCE erupted with the game winning runs in the 9th inning plating 3 runs

utilizing 3 base hits.  Joe Mauer got things going when he delivered a

base-hit.  Billy Hamilton next to the plate and he laid down a sacrifice

bunt.  One out later, Brandon Moss then popped a two-run clout over the

fence.  Brantley was up next and he clubbed a solo home run.  VINCE had 12

hits for the night while SHAWN had 4.  VINCE

SIDEWINDERS beat the SHAWN DRILLERS 4 to 1.

 

8/25 David Ortiz had 4 hits and 5 RBI as the VINCE SIDEWINDERS crushed the SHAWN

DRILLERS 12 to 2.

 

8/26 The SHAWN DRILLERS put 5 runs on the scoreboard in the 6th inning and bested

the VINCE SIDEWINDERS by a 5 to 2 score at Driller Park.

FFTs 3, Drillers 2

Drillers Fall to FFTs 3 Games to 2

4/20 In a two run game the TERRY FFT'S ended a long winless drought and got by the

SHAWN DRILLERS by the score of 5 to 3.

 

 

4/21 The TERRY FFT'S defeated the SHAWN DRILLERS by a score of 8 to 5 at Driller

Park.

 

 

7/2 In a good matchup it was the SHAWN DRILLERS 4, the TERRY FFT'S 2 at Driller

Park.

 

7/3 The SHAWN DRILLERS had very little trouble at Driller Park downing the TERRY

FFT'S.  The score was 10 to 3.

 

7/4 Jeff Samardzija took a no-hitter into the 6th inning as the TERRY FFT'S topped

the SHAWN DRILLERS by a score of 3 to 2 at Driller Park.

Drillers 6, Mavs 1

DRILLERS Take Series From Mavs 6 to 1

4/9 The DRILLERS and the MAVS locked up in an exciting one-run game at

Driller Park.  The final score was the DRILLERS 4, the MAVS

3.  Mavs had 3 errors

 

4/10 Dallas Keuchel reeled off a total of 10 strikeouts at Driller Park as the 

MAVS lost a heartbreaker to DRILLERS by the score of 2 to 1. DRILLERS scored

the deciding run in the bottom of the 9th inning.  Melky Cabrera hit a bases-empty

home run giving DRILLERS the victory and sending the 30,943 home-town fans home happy. 

The teams had been locked in a scoreless duel until the 7th inning.

 

4/11 Alex Cobb pitched a complete game as the SHAWN DRILLERS smashed the

overmatched TAD MAVS, 13 to 2.

 

9/10 The MAVS ended a long winless drought and nipped the DRILLERS 5 to 4

at Driller Park in a hard fought contest.

 

9/10 James Shields(2-3) and Homer Bailey(0-1) treated the fans to a fine

pitching duel at Driller Park.  The DRILLERS eventually emerged as

victors over the MAVS by the score of 3 to 1.

9/11 Melky Cabrera lofted one into the 'cheap seats' and had 3 RBI as the 

DRILLERS outscored the MAVS 6 to 3.

9/12 Dallas Keuchel(2-1) and Yovani Gallardo(1-1) dueled it out with Keuchel and

the DRILLERS coming out on top of the MAVS by the score of 2 to

0. 

DRILLERS brought 2 runs across the plate in the 4th inning with the help of 3

hits.  The highlight belonged to Charlie Blackmon who came through for the

home fans when he delivered a base-hit bringing home two baserunners.  The

pitchers took over after the 4th inning as neither team was able to score

again.

Drillers 5, Buckeyes 2

DRILLERS Go 5 and 2 vs BUCKEYES

4/12 Scott Kazmir reeled off a total of 10 strikeouts and right fielder Yasiel Puig

connected with a 'big fly' and scored 3 times at Driller Park where the DRILLERS beat the BUCKEYES 9 to 3.

 

4/13 Christian Yelich lofted one into the 'cheap seats' and had 2 RBI and James

Shields pitched a complete game as the DRILLERS defeated the Buckeyes by a score of 7 to 2 at Driller Park.

 

4/14 Jimmy Rollins had 2 base hits and 2 RBI at Driller Park where the DRILLERS beat the Buckeyes by the score of 9 to 7.

4/15 40,072 fans watched an exciting game at Driller Park.  The DRILLERS

topped the woeful Buckeyes by the slimmest of margins, 4 to 3.

4/16 Dustin Ackley had 2 base hits as the Buckeyes topped the DRILLERS

in 10 innings by a score of 5 to 4 at Driller Park.

9/14 Buckeyes won the game 5 to 4 with a run in the top of the 9th inning.  After an out was

recorded, Ryan Howard smashed a solo-shot out of the park.  After another

out, Jason Castro stepped up to the plate and he doubled.  For the game Buckeyes

out-hit SHAWN 9 to 6.

9/15 Neil Walker cracked a homer and had 3 RBI and Scott Kazmir held Buckeyes

scoreless on just 3 hits at Driller Park where the DRILLERS beat the

Buckeyes 6 to 0.

Sidewinders 3, Buckeyes 2

5/1

Buckeyes win 6-2. Bauer with CG and Alcantara hits 2 HR

 

5/2

Gausman shuts out the team that drafted him 3-0. Alcantara another bomb

 

7/13

SSWs 5 Buckeyes 1

Ross beats Lyles and C Allen gets the save

D Peralta has 3 hits and 3 RBI

steals 4 bases

 

7/14

SSWs 5 Buckeyes 1

 

Sale beats Bauer. Chapman gets the save. Gordon steals bases

 

7/15

SSWs win 5-4 on Moss 2 run shot off Feliz in bottom of the 9th

Sidewinders 4, FFTs 1

7/19 FFTs @SSWs

 

Cueto and Chapman combine for 6-0 shutout. Offense powered by three homers- Ortiz, Mesoraco and D Peralta

 

7/20

 

The Shark beats Lester 7-4, Rodney gets the save. FFTs collect 15 hits.

 

7/21 Ross and Chapman combine to shutout FFTs. Ortiz and Moss homer for the Snakes.

 

8/30 SSWs @ FFTs

 

Snakes were stifled by their ex-teammate Peavy for 7 innings. They scored 2 in the 8th and 2 in the 9th for 4-2  Sidewinder win.

 

8/31

 

SSWs win 7-3 despite 2 bombs by Miggy.Cueto is the winner and Vincent gets the save.

Tweeners 4, Buckeyes 1

Tweeners take 4 of 5 at home vs. Buckeyes.

6/17 – Buckeyes 5, Tweeners 4.  Ryan Howard hit a 3-run 1^st inning homer off MadBum.  Tweeners score 2 in the bottom half, then 2 more in the 5^th to take the lead, but Buckeyes plate 2 in the 7^th with Somebody Alcantara driving in what proved to be the game winner.  The win goes to Morrow in relief of Bauer, S – Walker.

6/18 – Tweeners 6, Buckeyes 0.  Felix and Smyly combine for the shutout, Chris Carter homers, L – Happ.

8/24 – Tweeners 8, Buckeyes 0.  A 2-hitter for MadBum/Torres.  Gregor Blanco 3-4 with a HR and 2 RBI.  L – Kendrick.

8/25 – Tweeners 4, Buckeyes 3 (10 inn.).  Sonny Gray mowed down 10 GLENN batters and Nolan Arenado had 3 base hits as

the NORM TWEENERS topped the woeful GLENN Buckeyes in 10 innings by a score

of 4 to 3 at The Hoover Dome.

 

The score was tied at 3 after nine.  NORM was victorious in the 10th inning.

Michael Saunders doubled.  Arenado was next and he delivered a base-hit

giving NORM the victory and sending the 41,389 home-town fans home happy.

NORM ended up with 12 hits for the game while GLENN had 3. 

 

The win was credited to Drew Smyly(3-2) who went 3 innings allowing no runs.

Jimmy Nelson(0-1) was given the loss in relief.  With this win, NORM has a

29-21 record.  They have been 5-5 lately.  Still in a bad slump, with this

loss, GLENN is 1-9 lately and 11-38, worst in the division on the year.

 

8/26 – Tweeners 2, Buckeyes 1.  First baseman Stephen Vogt had 2 base hits as the NORM TWEENERS defeated the

awful GLENN Buckeyes by a score of 2 to 1 at The Hoover Dome.

Felix Hernandez(6-1) pitched a fine game.  He went 6 innings and surrended up

3 hits and 1 walk.  NORM took care of GLENN with no trouble in the 9th.

Hernandez was helped out by Zach Duke who recorded his 2nd save.  Kevin

Gausman(1-3) absorbed the loss.  He surrendered 2 runs and 5 hits in 5 and

2/3 innings.  

Wth the win NORM now has a record of 30-21.  Not able to get much going in

recent weeks, GLENN is 1-9 of late and now has an overall record of 11-39,

worst in the division.

Death at the Ballpark

Foot long brat

Nachos on a stick



Krispy Kreme donut with a hot dog inside, plus bacon and raspberry filling.

Fried S'mores

Fried Food Concession Stand

Bloody Mary with a pizza slice as a garnish

Tweeners 3, Mavs 2

June 10^th:  Gio on the mound for the Tweeners as they start their LH heavy line up against 6R Wily Peralta.  Hal says it is a beautiful day for a ballgame but Hal also says I should hit Jason Heyward second against left handed pitcher so what does Hal know?  The Mavs meanwhile field their limp dick lefty lineup.  In the bottom of the second, the Tweeners score on a si 1-12, gbB.  You guessed gbB ending the rally.  The Mavs meanwhile get a two out triple off Gio’s card by Bryce Harper to take the lead in the bottom of the second.  But the Tweeners are playing the LH heavy line up so the Mav fans know to expect more runs off of Wily.  It’s a baseball town.  Sure enough the Tweeners tie it in the top of the third with a single 1-8 that they actually got after a SS X miss by 2 Elvis.  It was a true Tweener rally.  Meanwhile in the top of the fourth, the Tweeners string together two BP singles (1-9) and a single 1-5 to load the bases up.  Two gbB’s follow (one run scores, one thrown out at home).  With two outs after a walk put runners on first and second the daredevil Tweeners are thrown out trying to steal third on a 1-15 chance.  The Mavs load the bases in the bottom of the fourth, Elvis gets his pitch and pops up in the clutch.  Like I haven’t seen that before.  The Tweeners LH heavy lineup chases Peralta in the top of the fifth but Zach Britton leaves the bases full with no runs across.  Still 3-2 Tweeners.  The Tweeners have left 8 on in five innings, had a runner thrown out at home and another trying to steal third.  The Mavs check the definition of “profligate” – yep “Tweeners”.  Santiago Casilla puts down the lone rally threat the Mavs could muster and the Tweeners win 3-2.  Grumpy’s Bail Bonds player of the game goes to Santiago Casilla for 1 2/3 perfect innings of relief.

June 11^th:  In game two of the short series we have a matchup reminiscent of the Poles vs. Nazi Germany as it is Sonny Gray against Matt Cain who may be hiding an elbow injury from Mav management.  Still the constitution says you have to play all 162 games.  But it doesn’t say you have to watch it.  So expect a much shorter report than usual because the broadcast team is watching reruns of the Rockford Files rather than this game.  Sonny Gray and Casilla combine to throw a two hitter.  Not even three errors by the Tweeners allowed the Mavs to score.  Cain pitched what will be his best game of the year a 5 hitter but lost 3-0.  Sonny Gray wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game.  Nellie Cruz wins the Bertha’s Brothel Blow of the Game with a two run tater in the first.

August 17^th:  Gio on the mound against Ft. Worth Trimble Tech graduate Yovanni Gallardo.  With a firm desire to win the Bertha’s Brothel Blow of the Game a second time, Nellie Cruz cranks a straight out HR off his card in the top of the second.  Not to be outdone, Michael Morse hits a straight out 2 run HR off of his card in the bottom of the fourth to tie it two to two.  A Lucroy double followed by a Zobrist error leads to two more runs for the Mavs in the bottom of the fifth.  The Mavs pull Gallardo in the sixth and bring in Jessica Hahn who shuts down the Tweeners for two innings.  Meanwhile the Mavs tack on the Manny’s Pawn Shop and Insurance Company insurance run on an Ozuna single, a roll of three for the lead followed by a Harper two star single.  In the bottom of the eighth Lucroy hits his second double driving in two runs so we know who will be visiting Bertha’s tonight.  Grumpy’s Bail Bond Player of the Game goes to Country Breakfast who rolled around third and scored three times.  Mavs 8-2.

August 17^th:  Game one of a double header facing Felix in game one and MadBum in game two.  Meanwhile the Mavs counter with late draft pick steal Jason Hammel and Wily Peralta.  Mavs management elects to suspend the prohibition on drinking after the seventh inning.  Extenuating circumstances.  Today’s give away is a Juan Gonzales throw back bobble head complete with back acne and suspicious needle marks.  The game goes as you might expect.  King Felix clobbers the Mavs giving up five hits and striking out 14 through eight.  Meanwhile the Tweeners have a three run lead built on an Adam Lind two run homer.  Marcel Ozuna leads off with a walk and Hubert H. Humphrey goes to Casilla.  The Mavs counter with Bryce Harper who rolls a 3-7 gbA.  Bastard.  Tweeners shut the Mavs out a second time. 3-0.  Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game goes to King Felix.

August 17^th:  Game two:  MadBum against Wily Peralta.  The only thing given the now quite inebriated Mav fans any hope is it is a regular season game (and more beer trucks have pulled up).  The Tweeners having spent nanoseconds pouring over scouting reports start their LH Heavy line up and the Mavs counter with their limp dick vs. lefties lineup.  Mike Morse makes a costly error in the second and the Tweeners take a 2-0 lead.  Country Breakfast counters with a homer and sad .187 hitting Justin Upton draws a walk before a Mike Morse 1-8 HR.  Marcel Ozuna follows with a 5-10 ballpark tater.  Mavs up 4-2.  But the Tweeners are playing their LH Heavy lineup so the Mav fans know to expect more runs.  It is a baseball town.  But wait – the Mavs pull Peralta in the top of the fifth (a 5.14 ERA will cause things like that to happen) for number one pick Carlos Carrasco.  Holy Shit Batman – Justin Upton not only got a hit but it was a home run followed by a Mike Morse 5-9 HR off MadBum.  But HHH will stay the course with MadBum who rallies to K the next two hitters.  6-2 at the end of five.  Mike Morse hits his third homer of the game.  HHH stays the course.  Kendrick hits a double.  MadBum is finally tired after giving up twelve hits including six home runs in 6 1/3.  HHH brings in Carlos Torres who gives up a BP tater to Marcel Ozuna, his second of the game.  Three Mav relievers combine for five innings of no hit relief but the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game goes to Michael Morse who went 4-4 with six RBI and three home runs.  Mavs 10-2.

Tweeners 3, Buckeyes 2

Tweeners take 3 of 5 at Buckeyes. Buckeyes now halfway through the season on a pace to go 38-124.

4/3 Buckeyes 5 Tweeners 1

4/4 Tweeners 9 Buckeyes 2

4/5 Tweeners 21 Buckeyes 3

5/6 Buckeyes 9 Tweeners 8

5/7 Tweeners 8 Buckeyes 3 

Zaps 3, Goofs 2

Game 1-Tanaka and Niese posted dueling goose eggs until the Zaps put together 4 of their 7 hits in the bottom of the 8th and tallied 2 runs. Giles completed the staff shutout with a scoreless 9th.
Game2- Nova hits a triple to center off a lefty to plate two in the top of the 9th that powers the SG’s to a 5-2 win, and a split of the first two game series.
Game 3- Torii hunter bangs a 2 out 2-run single in the top of the 6th to chance Greinke, and put the visitors ahead 4-1.  David Freeze cranks a 3-run tater to seal the deal in the bottom of the 7th after a Danny Duffy error leads to 5 unearned run.  Chisenhall misses a 1-15 chance for a 3-run crank to get the Zaps back in it in the home half of the 8th.  Super win 9-1.
Game 4- Jose Bautista cranked two taters to power the Zap offense. Machado missed a 1-18 chance for a 3-run bomb in the home half of the 7th, but the Zaps triumph 8-3.
Game 5- The Zaps jumped out to a 3-0 lead and knocked out Darvish in the 5th. The Super Goofs battled back aided by Matt Joyce error to tie it up it up. In the bottom of the 9th with two-out Andrew McCutchen hit a game winning two-run tater to give the Zaps a win in the rubber game.