June 10th: Gio on the mound for the Tweeners as they start their LH heavy line up against 6R Wily Peralta. Hal says it is a beautiful day for a ballgame but Hal also says I should hit Jason Heyward second against left handed pitcher so what does Hal know? The Mavs meanwhile field their limp dick lefty lineup. In the bottom of the second, the Tweeners score on a si 1-12, gbB. You guessed gbB ending the rally. The Mavs meanwhile get a two out triple off Gio’s card by Bryce Harper to take the lead in the bottom of the second. But the Tweeners are playing the LH heavy line up so the Mav fans know to expect more runs off of Wily. It’s a baseball town. Sure enough the Tweeners tie it in the top of the third with a single 1-8 that they actually got after a SS X miss by 2 Elvis. It was a true Tweener rally. Meanwhile in the top of the fourth, the Tweeners string together two BP singles (1-9) and a single 1-5 to load the bases up. Two gbB’s follow (one run scores, one thrown out at home). With two outs after a walk put runners on first and second the daredevil Tweeners are thrown out trying to steal third on a 1-15 chance. The Mavs load the bases in the bottom of the fourth, Elvis gets his pitch and pops up in the clutch. Like I haven’t seen that before. The Tweeners LH heavy lineup chases Peralta in the top of the fifth but Zach Britton leaves the bases full with no runs across. Still 3-2 Tweeners. The Tweeners have left 8 on in five innings, had a runner thrown out at home and another trying to steal third. The Mavs check the definition of “profligate” – yep “Tweeners”. Santiago Casilla puts down the lone rally threat the Mavs could muster and the Tweeners win 3-2. Grumpy’s Bail Bonds player of the game goes to Santiago Casilla for 1 2/3 perfect innings of relief.
June 11th: In game two of the short series we have a matchup reminiscent of the Poles vs. Nazi Germany as it is Sonny Gray against Matt Cain who may be hiding an elbow injury from Mav management. Still the constitution says you have to play all 162 games. But it doesn’t say you have to watch it. So expect a much shorter report than usual because the broadcast team is watching reruns of the Rockford Files rather than this game. Sonny Gray and Casilla combine to throw a two hitter. Not even three errors by the Tweeners allowed the Mavs to score. Cain pitched what will be his best game of the year a 5 hitter but lost 3-0. Sonny Gray wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game. Nellie Cruz wins the Bertha’s Brothel Blow of the Game with a two run tater in the first.
August 17th: Gio on the mound against Ft. Worth Trimble Tech graduate Yovanni Gallardo. With a firm desire to win the Bertha’s Brothel Blow of the Game a second time, Nellie Cruz cranks a straight out HR off his card in the top of the second. Not to be outdone, Michael Morse hits a straight out 2 run HR off of his card in the bottom of the fourth to tie it two to two. A Lucroy double followed by a Zobrist error leads to two more runs for the Mavs in the bottom of the fifth. The Mavs pull Gallardo in the sixth and bring in Jessica Hahn who shuts down the Tweeners for two innings. Meanwhile the Mavs tack on the Manny’s Pawn Shop and Insurance Company insurance run on an Ozuna single, a roll of three for the lead followed by a Harper two star single. In the bottom of the eighth Lucroy hits his second double driving in two runs so we know who will be visiting Bertha’s tonight. Grumpy’s Bail Bond Player of the Game goes to Country Breakfast who rolled around third and scored three times. Mavs 8-2.
August 17th: Game one of a double header facing Felix in game one and MadBum in game two. Meanwhile the Mavs counter with late draft pick steal Jason Hammel and Wily Peralta. Mavs management elects to suspend the prohibition on drinking after the seventh inning. Extenuating circumstances. Today’s give away is a Juan Gonzales throw back bobble head complete with back acne and suspicious needle marks. The game goes as you might expect. King Felix clobbers the Mavs giving up five hits and striking out 14 through eight. Meanwhile the Tweeners have a three run lead built on an Adam Lind two run homer. Marcel Ozuna leads off with a walk and Hubert H. Humphrey goes to Casilla. The Mavs counter with Bryce Harper who rolls a 3-7 gbA. Bastard. Tweeners shut the Mavs out a second time. 3-0. Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game goes to King Felix.
August 17th: Game two: MadBum against Wily Peralta. The only thing given the now quite inebriated Mav fans any hope is it is a regular season game (and more beer trucks have pulled up). The Tweeners having spent nanoseconds pouring over scouting reports start their LH Heavy line up and the Mavs counter with their limp dick vs. lefties lineup. Mike Morse makes a costly error in the second and the Tweeners take a 2-0 lead. Country Breakfast counters with a homer and sad .187 hitting Justin Upton draws a walk before a Mike Morse 1-8 HR. Marcel Ozuna follows with a 5-10 ballpark tater. Mavs up 4-2. But the Tweeners are playing their LH Heavy lineup so the Mav fans know to expect more runs. It is a baseball town. But wait – the Mavs pull Peralta in the top of the fifth (a 5.14 ERA will cause things like that to happen) for number one pick Carlos Carrasco. Holy Shit Batman – Justin Upton not only got a hit but it was a home run followed by a Mike Morse 5-9 HR off MadBum. But HHH will stay the course with MadBum who rallies to K the next two hitters. 6-2 at the end of five. Mike Morse hits his third homer of the game. HHH stays the course. Kendrick hits a double. MadBum is finally tired after giving up twelve hits including six home runs in 6 1/3. HHH brings in Carlos Torres who gives up a BP tater to Marcel Ozuna, his second of the game. Three Mav relievers combine for five innings of no hit relief but the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game goes to Michael Morse who went 4-4 with six RBI and three home runs. Mavs 10-2.
1 comment:
Love the commentary.
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