Rhinos vs SuperGoofs

Rhinos 7, Goofs 0

Trade

The FFTs trade Joba Chamberlain and Kosuke Fukudome to the Inmates for Ryan Theriot and Chipper Jones.

Something tells me this means 5 years or so of Kosuke being referred to as Fuck You Dome every time he comes to bat.

I won't start making adjustments on the roster sheets until we get closer to the end of the 2010 season. For now, the rosters still reflect the 2010 teams.

Drillers at SuperGoofs

Goofs 3, Drillers 2

Sidewinders at SuperGoofs

Snakes 2, Goofs 1

Killer Bees at SuperGoofs

Bees 3, Goofs 2

Nads at SuperGoofs

Goofs 3, Nads 2

Opening Night at DoubleDaves

NASOMA was well represented at the Chief's opening night at his new restaurant. There were Pigs and Rhinos and Drillers and Buckeyes... and even Mrs. Oiler. The food was great and the turnout exceeded expectations. Here are some pics...

The Nashville Trip

I have put this off until now, but here are some pics from the 2010 Nashville Trip.

VuvuZelas at Mavs

Mavs 3, VuvuZelas 2

From the Mavman...

Mavs with 3 out of 5 from the Zaps.

April 19	1-7
April 20	3-7
July 16	5-3
July 16	2-1
July 17	3-1

Game of the Week

Dick Stockton: Well, Matt Belisle has caught the three ball disease.
Tim McCarver: So this is the 7th straight hitter with three balls on him.

Fungoes at FFTs

Fungoes 3, FFTs 1

From the WhatTheFungo...

Fungoes visited FFT Land for our final four....here are the results:

Game 1: Ichiro Suzuki had 5 hits and 2 RBI as the FFT'S topped the FUNGOES
in 10 innings by a score of 5 to 4 at Qualcomm Stadium. A Papelbon blown save left the game deadlocked at 4 after nine full innings. FFTs ended up winning
it in the 10th inning. Jorge Cantu lined a base-hit. After an out was
recorded, Tolbert took off for second and slid in with a stolen base.
Michael Bourn then drew a walk. Suzuki was up next and he slapped a single
resulting in an exciting win for the FFTs and a raucous post-game celebration by
the home town fans. FFTs had 11 hits for the afternoon. Fu-Te Ni(1-0) got credit for the victory, pitching 2 and 1/3 innings and
allowing no runs. Scott Feldman(0-1) took the loss in relief. He allowed 2
hits and 1 walk in 2/3 of an inning.

Game 2: In a game for the baseball purist, Rick Porcello(1-2) and James McDonald(0-1)
squared off in a tense pitching duel, The Waxahachie FUNGOES finally emerged
victorious over the FFT'S, 2 to 1. Fungoes brought 2 runs across the plate in the 7th inning with the help of 3
hits. The highlight belonged to Denard Span who deflated the mood of the
partisan fans when he stroked a base-hit plating two runs. The FFTs had a
chance in the 9th but they came up short. Jonathan Papelbon got the save, his 8th. TERRY's manager was reflective after
the loss, 'We should have won this one, we just made one too many mistakes.
Son-of-a-gun, that added a couple more white hairs on this noggin of mine.'

Game 3: Center fielder Grady Sizemore had 2 base hits at Qualcomm Stadium as the FUNGOES beat the FFT'S 4 to 2. Fungoes scored 3 runs in the 6th inning when they had 3 base hits. Mark Teahen
started the inning off right when he hit a single. Denard Span stepped into
the batter's box and he doubled. Lance Berkman was next to the plate, but
was promptly struck out. After another out, Nelson Cruz stepped up to the
plate and he lost the ball over the fence for three runs. The Fungoes had just 6
hits for the night. David Price(2-0) went 6 innings allowing 2 runs for the victory. Jonathan
Papelbon recorded the save, his 9th. Danys Baez(0-1) was the loser in
relief. Jason Kendall was quoted later saying "He hit the shit out of that one", when asked to describe the home run ball served up by Baez.

Game 4: First baseman Lance Berkman lofted one into the 'cheap seats' and had 5 RBI as
the FUNGOES outscored the FFT'S 8 to 7. Berkman provided much of the offense. He blasted a two-run home run in the
4th inning, doubled plating a run in the 5th inning and doubled which was
good for two runs in the 7th inning. This was the kind of game that many
fans love as the lead changed hands 5 times. Mitch Stetter(1-0) picked up the victory, allowing no runs in 1/3 of an
inning. James McDonald(0-2) was charged with the loss in relief. He allowed
3 hits and no walks in 1 inning. With this win, the Fungi improved to a division leading 71-50 record. With the loss, the FFTs record falls to 59-93, worst in the
division overall. "Well, I blame myself" Said Team owner Terry Miller, "I hired that sorry low-down dog of a manager".

WTF

FFT vs Warpigs

Warpigs 6, FFTs 4

At The Pigsty
Game 1 - FFTs win 8-7 - Albert Pujols hit three homers, but it wasn't enough.

Game 2 - Pigs win 5-4 - Ichiro hit a 3-run HR in the 9th to chase Josh Beckett, but the PigPen somehow holds on for the save.

Game 3 - Pigs win 4-0 - John Lackey threw a complete game 1-hitter. He allowed only a double and a walk - both to Jason Bay.

At FFT Field
Game 4 - FFTs win 7-1 - Jered Weaver went the distance for the win. Jason Bay had a single, double, and homer while driving in 4.

Game 5 - FFTs win 3-2 - Rafael Furcal's 8th inning homer gave Kenshin Kawakami the win over Cliff Lee.

Game 6 - FFTs win 2-1 - Jason Bay and Miguel Cabrera ruined Rich Harden's shutout bid with back to back homers with one out in the 8th inning. Jered Weaver got the win, while Mariano Rivera saved his third game of the series.

Game 7 - Pigs win 3-2 - Cody Ross tripled in the top of the 9th and scored on a sac fly. Ross Ohlendorf got the complete game win.

Game 8 - Pigs win 12-7 - Adam Lind had two doubles and a home run to drive in 4 runs. Mike Pelfrey had a shutout going into the 9th, when he turned back into a soul-less pumpkin. The PigPen, most of whom had already left the building, weaseled their way thru the final 3 outs.

At The PigSty
Game 9 - Pigs win 7-4 - This game featured two starting pitchers who had not won a game all year. Joba Chamberlain (0-15) squared off against Brian Matusz (0-4). Matusz, despite having reached his POW, stayed in the game long enough to see the Pig bats overcome a 4-1 deficit with a 4-run 7th and a 2-run 8th. Matusz got the win with Chamberlain getting a no decision. Albert Pujols hit a 3-run homer in the 7th to put the Pigs ahead.

Game 10 - Pigs win 4-3 - Aaron Laffey threw 3 shutout innings of relief for the win.

Mavs at VuvuZelas

Vuvus 5, Mavs 0

Mavs at Nads

Nads 5, Mavs 2

From the Nadman...

MAVS went 2-5 at NADS in close games – three games were won in the bottom of the ninth by the home team. MAVS hit .225 against the NADS , while the NADS hit .288 against the MAVS

Gm 1 MAVS 5-3

Gm 2 Nads 9-6 – Nads score 3 in bottom of the 9^th

Gm 3 Nads 5-3

Gm 4 NADS 8-1 – Mavs score in top of the 9^th to avoid a shut-out

Gm 5 – Gm 1 of DH - Nads 5-3

Gm 6 - Gm 2 of DH – Mavs 5-0 Mavs shut-out the Nads to split the Double header

Gm 7 Nads 6-5 – tied 5-5 at end of 8 – NADS score 1 in bottom of 9^th for the win

VuvuZelas at Nads

Vuvus 3, Nads 2

From the Nadman...

Zaps go 3-2 at the jock strap

Gm 1 Nads 6-1 Arroyo gets the win

Gm 2 Zaps 11-1 Zaps hitting is too much for Nad pitching

Gm 3 Zaps 10-6 Zaps continue hot hitting

Gm4 Nads 4-2 Nippert cooled off Zap Bats

Gm 5 Zaps 4-3 Nads scored 3 in the bottom of the 9^th – but it is not enough to beat the Zaps

Nads at VuvuZelas

VuvuZelas 4, Nads 1

Trade

NASOMA's first trade of the year...

The Buckeyes sent Jeff Keppinger to the FFTs for Hidecki Matsui.

Nads at Buckeyes

Buckeyes 3, Nads 1

From Bucky the Buckeye...

Buckeyes go 3 - 1 in final four at home versus Nads.

Aug 4 - Buckeyes 3 Nads 2. Darren Oliver gets the win in relief of John Maine. Dempster goes all the way for the Nads striking out 11 but takes the loss.

Aug 5 - Nads 7 Buckeyes 4 R. Wells gets the win and E Aybar drives in 3. Uggla with an HR

Aug 6 - Buckeyes 5 Nads 3. Buckeyes score 5 runs on no extra base hits (10 singles). Calero gets the win with a save for K Calero

Aug 7 - Buckeyes 3 Nads 0. M Buehrle thros a 7 hit shutout to best A Pettite. Pettite was strong but the 6 his 6 walks cost him. Combined with 2 relievers, the Nads walk 8 Buckeyes in this game.

Wahoos at VuvuZelas

VuvuZelas 3, Wahoos 2

From the Vuvu...
Take what you want from the attached boxes.

Drillers vs Warpigs

Drillers 3, Warpigs 2

at the Mud Pit...

Game 1 - Drillers 6, Warpigs 2 - Tim Lincecum lost his shutout in the 9th on another Albert Pujols homer. Andy LaRoche (or is it Adam?) went 3-for-3.

Game 2 - Drillers 17, Warpigs 3 - I can't begin to tell you how much fun this fucking game was to play. The entire Driller lineup contributed, but the two biggest were Derek Jeter and David Murphy, who combined to go 4-for-6 with 5 walks, 7 runs scored, and 9 RBI. The Drillers had 14 hits and 13 walks.

at the Pig Sty...

Game 3 - Warpigs 3, Drillers 2 - Cliff Lee's chance of 20 wins is already history, but he pitched well anyway. Cody Ross and Miguel Olivo homered for the Pigs.

Game 4 - Drillers 7, Warpigs 3 - Josh Beckett got hammered during the game; I got hammered after.

Game 5 - Warpigs 6, Drillers 3 - John Lackey shocked everyone by going the distance and NOT sucking. Pujols and Adam Lind homered.

Warpigs at SuperGoofs

Goofs 5, Pigs 1

Game 1 - Warpigs 1, Goofs 0 - Rich Harden and the entire cast of misfits in the PigPen shut down the Goofs on 4 hits. Joe Saunders went all the way for the Goofs, holding the Pigs to a mere 3 hits, but one was a Delmon Young homer.

Game 2 - Goofs 2, Warpigs 1 - Greg Zaun's 2-run homer in the 6th off of Ross Ohlendorf was all Barry Zito needed. Albert Pujols homered in the 9th to avoid the shutout. Mike Adams got the save.

Game 3 - Goofs 6, Warpigs 2 - Garrett Jones and Jim Thome both hit 3-run taters to support the complete game of Joel Piniero.

Game 4 - Goofs 7, Warpigs 6 (11 innings) - Nick Punto had the game-winning single. Mike Adams went the last 2 innings for the win.

Game 5 - Goofs 5, Warpigs 4 - Pujols homered and Cliff Lee threw a complete game, but it wasn't enough to overcome the Goofs.

Game 6 - Goofs 6, Warpigs 5 - The Goofs scored 2 in the bottom of the 7th and 2 more in the bottom of the 8th to overcome yet another Pujols tater.

Drillers vs Vuvuzelas

Vuvuzelas 7, Drillers 3

From the Zapper...

9 April Zaps win 3-2

10 April Drillers win 11-4

24 May Zaps win 5-1

25 May Drillers win 6-1

6 July Zaps win 4-2

7 July Zaps win 1-0

8 July Drillers win 14-6

18 August Zaps win 4-3

20 August Zaps win 2-1

21 August Zaps win 7-2

SuperGoofs at Nads

Nads 3, Goofs 2

From the Nadman...

Goofs went 2-3 at NADS

Gm 1 NADS won 14-5 on a JD Drew grand slam

Gm 2 – Goofs return the favor with a 11-5 win – Choo hit 3 doubles to lead the SGs

Gm 3 – Goofs win –8-2 - Blackburn threw a 5 hit complete game

Gm 4 – Nads win a close one – 3-2 - Arroyo held off the Goof offense

Gm 5 – Nads win 6-4 – a wild start with 9 runs scored in the first two inning – pitching settled down and the Nads held on for the win

Drillers vs Mavs

Drillers 9, Mavs 1

The Drillers move to within 2.5 games of the division leading Fungoes.

From the Mavman...

Mavs lost 9 out of 10. It was the sixth game before I even had a lead for an inning. great funn.

May 13	2-4
May 14	0-9
May 15	2-5
June 25	3-8
June 26	3-8
August 8	3-12
August 9	1-2
September 9	5-6
September 10	2-0
September 11	0-10

Buckeyes at Nads

Buckeyes 2, Nads 2

From the Nadman...

Buckeyes went 2-2 at NADS

Gm 1- Nad win5-2 Arroyo win Carpenter loss

Gm 2 Nads 9-0 1^st Nad shutout of the Buckeyes in memory

Gm 3 – Buckeyes 11-6 – Buckeyes score 7 in the 2^nd and 4 in the 3^rd – Nads pitching sucked

Gm 4 – Buckeyes 8-7 – Bannister continued the Nads poor pitching display

Wahoos at Nads

Nads 5, Wahoos 0

From the Nadman...
NDS sweep the Wahoos at the Jock strap. Wahoos only hit .224 against NAD’s pitching – NADs weren’t much better at .233 , but in ten games, the NADS scored 25 runs to the Wahoo’s 11 runs and that was the difference. Three close games , one shut-out and one blow-out.

Inmates vs Tweeners (cont.)

Tweeners 2, Inmates 2

From The HEAD INMATE...

Plastic surgery couldn’t have fixed the ugly in final netplay games between Tweeners and Inmates:

INMATES & - TWEENERS 6 [Baptist Bowl]: Ryan Howard’s pinch 3-run homer in 6^th tied the game at 6 while Molina singled home the final run in the 7^th. Inmate (read: HookPeople) make three errors, but Tweeners get only 5 hits.

TWEENERS 9 – INMATES 6 [Baptist Bowl]: Ugly is as ugly does. Tweener bullpen is great, with F. Rod getting the save.

TWEENERS 5 – INMATES 4 (12) [Tweenerville]: Inmates score all of their runs in the 6^th. Brendan Ryan hit bases loaded single in bottom of the 12^th for the game-winner.

INMATES 4 – TWEENERS 0 [Tweenerville]: Prototypical Santana makes rare appearance and K’s 17 Tweeners for complete game shutout.

Warpigs vs DVs

DVs 5, Warpigs 3

Game 1 - DVs 6, Warpigs 2 - Brian McCann gets 3 hits and a homer and Roy Halladay dominates the pathetic Pig bats.

Game 2 - Warpigs 3, DVs 2 - Ross Ohlendorf goes the distance. Albert Pujols and Justin Maxwell go yard.

Game 3 - Warpigs 5, DVs 4 - Delmon Young hit a 2-run homer in the 8th for the win. Adam Lind hit a 3-run tater earlier. Mike Pelfrey got the win, and Francisco Liriano earned his first save of the year.

Game 4 - Warpigs 6, DVs 1 - Josh Beckett takes advantage of the DV "Draft Position Drive" with a 5-hit complete game. Pujols and Lind hit homers.

Game 5 - DVs 7, Warpigs 2 (10 innings) - The DV bats finally rebelled against their manager's plot to get a lottery pick. All sorts of crap went on in the 10th inning, with DV boss Sally threatening suspensions for anyone getting a big hit.

Game 6 - DVs 6, Warpigs 1 - These last three games took place at DV Park, the only NASOMA park to require a generator to keep 'er filled with air. Trevor Cahill threw a 4-hitter. Matt Holliday and Adam (or was it Andy) LaRoche tatered.

Game 7 - DVs 8, Warpigs 5 - When it became obvious neither team wanted this game, Pig hurler John Lackey became determined to want it less than anybody.

Game 8 - DVs 7, Warpigs 3 - Half the Pig roster had left the park by the 9th inning. Most left from the embarrassment of allowing TWO home runs by Todd Helton.

Tweeners at Wahoos

Wahoos 2, Tweeners 0

From the Chief...

Wahoos sweep 2 at The Reservation.

Scott Baker dominated in Game 1 with 10 strikeouts in a complete game 8-1 victory. He didn't walk any. Wahoos had multi-run innings in the second and third.

Cole Hamels had control issues but took advantage of a hot Wahoos offense in a 9-5 victory. Joe Blanton took it in the behind early and often for the Tweeners.

Tweeners at Buckeyes

Buckeyes 3, Tweeners 2

From the Commish...
Buckeyes 3 Tweener 2 to finish up last 5 at Buckeyes

Buckeyes vs Inmates (cont.)

Buckeyes 5, Inmates 2

From the Commish...
Buckeyes go 3 - 1 at home and 2-1 on the road to finish up with Inmates.

From The HEAD INMATE...

Shit doesn’t rain but it splatters.

BUCKEYES 5 – INMATES 1 [Baptist Bowl]: Inmates manage four hits off of Carpenter.

INMATES 6 – BUCKEYES 4 [Baptist Bowl]: Four-run Inmate 5^th is enough for a sloppy win.

BUCKEYES 5 – INMATES 1 [Baptist Bowl]: Carbon copy of game one. Inmates get four hits and inhale vociferously.

BUCKEYES 6 – INMATES 3 [BitchSlap Stadium]: Inmates get six hits and continue vacuuming skills.

BUCKEYES 3 – INMATES 2 (DH Game 1) [AssReaming Park]: 2-run, 2-out homer in bottom of the 9^th by Rusty Ryal (seriously) reams Inmates in game one, but the fun is just starting…

BUCKEYES 4 – INMATES 3 (DH Game 2) [Sodomy Field]: 2-run, 1-out homer in bottom of the 9^th by some other nameless motherfucker tears another new one for the Inmates.

INMATES 4 – Buckeyes 2 [Whap-His-PeePee Park]: Inmates finally win a game when Druidic extremists take over the outfield bleachers in the bottom of the 9^th and plant fast-growing shrubbery, preventing any more last minute statistically preposterous crap.

Mavs vs Wahoos

Wahoos 6, Mavs 4

From the Mavman...

Los Mavs go 4-6.

4/17 4-5

4/18 2-6

4/18 10-0

5/31 1-11

6/1 10-5

7/14 3-2

715 1-4

8/27 4-0

8/28 1-7

8/29 6-8

DVs at Wahoos (cont.)

DVs 2, Wahoos 0

From the Chief...
DVs win the last two of the season at The Reservation. Game 1 was 9-3 and Game 2 was something like 5-2. It was big offensive explosions for the DVs and big-time performances from Roy Halladay (he improves to 22-3 for a team that will undoubtedly STILL miss the playoffs).

Warpigs vs Inmates

Pigs 5, Inmates 5

Game 1 - Warpigs 8, Inmates 7 (10 innings): Delmon Young went 3 for 5 with 3 RBI, but it was a home run in the 10th inning by Miguel Olivo that won the game for the Pigs. Benjie Molina was 3 for 5 with 4 RBI for the Inmates.

Game 2 - Inmates 6, Warpigs 2: Gavin Floyd went the distance for the win. The Pigs made 4 errors.

Game 3 - Inmates 5, Warpigs 2: Floyd wins again, allowing only a 9th-inning 2-run homer to Albert Pujols.

Game 4 - Warpigs 12, Inmates 3: After a 3-spot in the 2nd, the Warpigs score 9 in the 3rd - all after there were 2 outs. Josh Beckett went 9 for the win.

Game 5 - Warpigs 7, Inmates 6: A 3-run homer by Pujols put the game out of reach. Rich Harden got the win.

Game 6 - Warpigs 8, Inmates 5: The Pigs finally got to Floyd for the win. Carlos Gonzalez went 4 for 4 in defeat.

Game 7 - Inmates 6, Warpigs 4: The Inmates scored 5 in the 3rd against Mike Pelfrey, then held on.

Game 8 - Inmates 10, Warpigs 3: Carlos Gonzalez hit 2 of the 4 Inmate homers, and the Inmates trounced John Lackey.

Game 9 - Inmates 8, Warpigs 6: Beware the 3rd inning! This time the Inmates score 7 in the inning, including a grand slam by Jake Fox.

Game 10 - Warpigs 7, Inmates 1: Ross Ohlendorf gets his second straight complete game win over the Inmates, and Pujols hits another 3-run homer.

From The HEAD INMATE...

Inmates and Warpigs split ten of the ugliest games in recent memory:

WARPIGS 8 – INMATES 7 (10) [Baptist Bowl]: Three Inmate errors in the 1^st inning allow four unearned runs to score. Inmates score unearned run in 9^th to tie game and bring on closer Guzman to pitch 10^th. M. Olivo hit first pitch @26 miles and Inmates can’t score in bottom of 10^th.

INMATES 6 – WARPIGS 2 [Baptist Bowl]: Pigs return the 3-error inning favor, and Floyd pitches a strong complete game victory.

INMATES 5 – WARPIGS 2 [BallPork]: Floyd again pitches well, allowing only a two-run tater to Pujols (who homered for the second straight game).

WARPIGS 12 - INMATES 3 [BallPork]: Pigs score 9 in the 3^nd off of Sucktana and Perez, Pooholes homers again, and the Inmates suck.

WARPIGS 7 – INMATES 6 [Baptist Bowl]: You-know-who jacks another, and all the Inmates could do was get close.

WARPIGS 8 – INMATES 5 [Baptist Bowl]: Pigs finally solve Floyd, scoring 5 in the 1^st. Ohlendork pitches complete game.

INMATES 6 – WARPIGS 4 [Baptist Bowl]: Big innings rule the day (pardon the pun) as Beakless Chicken Gang score 5 in the 3^rd and Porcine Pack answer with 4 in the 4^th. Diaz pinch tater for Inmates in 8^th ices the game.

INMATES 10 – WARPIGS 3 [BallPork]: 6-run Inmates 4^th, highlighted by Gonzalez and Howard 2-run jacks help blow out the Porkers.

INMATES 8 – WARPIGS 6 [BallPork]: Inmates score 7 in the 3^rd and hang on for victory despite you-know-who’s three hits.

WARPIGS 7 – INMATES 1 [BallPork]: Ohlendork once again owns the Inmates. Shitstain hits his 935^th homer of the series, and Howard taters to help Inmates avoid ignominious shutout.

Interesting note: Both Pig and Inmate management agree that 2e14 is the worst fielding rating for a shortstop, as evidenced by S. Drew’s piss-poor little league performance.

The HEAD INMATE

DVs at Wahoos

Wahoos 2, DVs 1

From the DumVees...

In a series that would make the EQA guys jealous, the Wahoos and DVs staged their version of speed dating, NASOMA style.

Game 1 featured Halladay moving his record to 16-7 with a 3-2 win. Game took 9 minutes

Game 2 was Tommy Hunter going 8 innings, Hawksworth getting the save and the Wahoos winning 4-1. Game took 11 minutes

Game 3 was almost a carbon copy of game 2 as Nolasco goes 8, Hawksworth gets the save and the Wahoos win 4-1. Game took 12 minutes as the DVs actually had 3 pitching changes

You couldn’t eat a Double Dave’s pizza in the time it took to play those games – nor would you want to!

Killer Bees vs Sidewinders

Snakes 9, Bees 5

From the Snakeman...
Drunk Snakes go 9-5 vs Drunker Bees.(6-1 at the Hive and 3-4 at Corona SnakePit at ChurchLot Field.) We finish 23-17 for the weekend. I regretfully did not roll a single die..............

The BeeBoy at Home

Nashville Weekend Update - Pt 2

Killer Bees 4, Tweeners 2
Tweeners 7, Fungoes 3
Fungoes 5, Snakes 1
Snakes 6, Warpigs 4
Warpigs 3, Tweeners 2
Fungoes 4, Bees 1

The Bees and Snakes are still playing.

The Standings page should be updated, but I kinda lost track this weekend of who all had played and who all had won. If you see errors on the Standings page or the Expanded Standings page, please speak up.

The O-Dog had a great series for the Fungoes against the Tweeners, going 19 for 43.

Pig highlights...
Pujols stayed hot. In 30 games this weekend, he went 43/121 (.355) with 33 runs scored, 35 RBI, 11 doubles, and 19 HR.
Pelfrey threw back to back shutouts against the Tweeners and Bees.
The Snakes and Warpigs played in three 1-0 squeakers (the Pigs won 2 of those) but also had scores of 15-10, 18-12, 13-7, and 8-7 (the Snakes won ALL of those).

Nashville Weekend Update - Pt 1

The Tweeners and Bees are still playing tonight, but these are the records so far today...

Nads 5, Fungoes 5
Bees 3, Nads 2
Tweeners 3, Warpigs 2
Bees 5, Warpigs 5
Tweeners 3, Fungoes 2

All I know to tell you so far is this...
The burgers were delicious.
Albert Pujols was on fire today. We played 15 and he went deep in 10 of those.
The Tweeners introduced his new "baby shit" dice.
The Killer Bee dogs are, well, let's say very friendly.
And the Fungoes, while apparently satisfying his own needs upstairs, caused the downstairs light shade to fall. The 1000 pound light bulb cover broke loose and crashed down onto the Pig laptop during our contest, landing on the keyboard and breaking one letter (which I have avoided using so far in this post). It was kinda scary (the Beeboy peed his pants and screeched like a girl).

The Snakes will be here soon.

Breakfast is supposed to be legendary. I can't wait.

It's not easy writing a post this long while avoiding a particular letter.

Lost in all the Lebron nonsense...

I saw this link on Yahoo...
Mavs keep C Haywood for $55M, 6 years (AP)
and couldn't figure out...
(1) how they could misspell J.Heyward,
(2) when we started having to pay our players in NASOMA, and
(3) why Yahoo was making such a big deal about news from NASOMA.

Home and Away

Again, and in fewer words, please send me your home and road records. Thanks.

Warpigs at DVs

Warpigs 2, DVs 0

Gm 1 - Warpigs 6, DVs 3 - Adam Lind, Miguel Olivo, and Curtis Granderson all hit homers and the Pigs rough up Roy Halladay.

Gm 2 - Warpigs 9, DVs 3 - Cody Ross drives in 5 and Cliff Lee goes to 12-4 on the year.

Wahoos at Warpigs

Wahoos 2, Warpigs 1

Gm 1 - Wahoos 5, Warpigs 3 - The Wahoos scored single runs in each of the first five innings for the win. Hamels got a complete game victory. The Pigs threatened in the 8th with back to back singles to open the frame, but Akinori Iwamura lined into a triple play to end the inning and any hopes the Pigs had of winning.

Gm 2 - Warpigs 5, Wahoos 4 (10 innings) - The Wahoos hit 2 solo homers in the top of the 9th to take the lead, but Matt Joyce pinch hit a homer in the bottom of the inning to tie it. Albert Pujols led off the bottom of the 10th with a walk off homer.

Gm 3 - Wahoos 5, Warpigs 3 - Same score as the first game. The Wahoos hit 4 solo homers and then hung on for the win.

NASOMA at the All Star Game

Based on the initial All Star game rosters, here's how they break down for each NASOMA team...

The numbers following the total number stand for Starters / Bench / Pitchers.

Rhinos - 10 total - 4/3/3
Vuvuzelas - 7 total - 3/2/2
DVs - 7 total - 0/5/2
Drillers - 5 total - 3/0/2
Snakes - 5 total - 2/0/3
Mavs - 5 total - 1/1/3
Bees - 4 total - 1/1/2
FFTs - 4 total - 1/2/1
Wahoos - 3 total - 1/2/0
Tweeners - 3 total - 0/2/1
Goofs - 3 total - 0/2/1
Warpigs - 2 total - 1/0/1
Buckeyes - 2 total - 0/1/1
Inmates - 2 total - 0/2/0
Nads - 1 total - 0/1/0
Fungoes - 1 total - 0/0/1

Free Agents - 6 total - 0/3/3

Inmates vs Wahoos

Inmates 2, Wahoos 1

From The HEAD INMATE...

Inmates and Wahoos finish season series via netplay at the Reservation. Monumental offensive showings in all three games:

INMATES 4 – WAHOOS 0: Chipper hits grand slam in the 7^th after three straight ballpark singles, while Vazquez allows four hits an Ks 12.

WAHOOS 3 – INMATES 2: Inmates hit into 8-2DP in both 1^st and 2^nd innings. Youkilis taters, and the Inmates out-hit the little chiefs 9-5 but lose.

INMATES 3 – WAHOOS 1: Howard hits 2-run tater and Wolf bests Baker, et al, in pitchers’ duel. Wahoos held to 13 hits total in this series.

Inmates vs DVs

DVs 4, Inmates 1

From The HEAD INMATE...

Inmates continue down the path of vociferous and profuse inhalation:

DVs 3 – INMATES 1 [Hell]: Inmates get three hits in the first but can’t score, while Vazquez and Zavada combine to four-hit the DVs. Inmates still lose.

DVs 12 – INMATES 4 [Hell]: Santana allows seven runs in 1 2/3 innings while Halladay shuts down the Beakless Chicken Gang.

INMATES 10 – DVs 7 [Hell]: Howard and A. Jones both homer twice while the Inmate Arson Squad holds on for a rare win.

DVs 8 – INMATES 5 [Baptist Bowl]: Inmates forge ahead 5-4 in the 6^th, only to have the Immolation Crew allow four DV runs on five hits in the seventh before two were out. Electrolux becomes Inmate team radio broadcast sponsor.

DVs 5 – INMATES 4 (12) [Baptist Bowl]: Inmates head into 9^th holding 4-2 lead with closer Guzman on the hill. Yep, the Flames of Shit arose. DVs score twice to send the game into extra innings. Inmates had two doubles and a single in the first, but could only manage one run, and were held hitless after the sixth.

Demerit Update

Our Commissioner has asked me to announce that the Nads have received one demerit for not reaching 75 games played by July 1st.

Inmates vs Drillers

Inmates 5, Drillers 3

From The HEAD INMATE...

HAL rolled the last eight between the Drillers and the Inmates. Here are results:

INMATES 4 – DRILLERS 3 [Baptist Bowl]: All of the Driller offense came on a 3-run Johnson spud in the 3^rd. Anderson scatters 5 hits through seven; Howard doubles home the game-winner in the 7^th.

INMATES 9 – DRILLERS 8 (13) [Baptist Bowl]: Marathon attended by 95 faithful Beak-heads at the Baptist Bowl. Inmates pull it out in the 13^th when Chipper Jones singled, Pennington pinch-ran and stole 2^nd, and Molina singled him home.

INMATES 3 – DRILLERS 2 [Baptist Bowl]: Howard hit a 3-run homer in the 1^st and Santana pitched a 2-hitter. Haren was good for the Drillers, allowing only three singles after the first inning.

INMATES 8 – DRILLERS 7 [Drillerville]: Dukes hits a 2-run tater, then tries to make up for it by committing a 2-base AND a 3-base error in the same inning. Inmate bullpen pitched well after Brian “The Self-Immolator” Fuentes tried to give the game away.

INMATES 6 – DRILLERS 1 [Drillerville]: Dunn hits two homers and Vazquez pitches well.

DRILLERS 5 – INMATES 3 [Baptist Bowl]: The Inmates suddenly remember who they are. Dunn hits another tater, but Lincecum K’s 11. Kelly “Babe” Shoppach homers for the Drillers in what was to become the norm for the rest of the series.

SHOPPACH 5 – INMATES 4 [Baptist Bowl]: Shoppach hits two homers and drives in all the Driller runs. Lincecum wins again, and the Beakless Chicken Gang can’t quite catch up.

DRILLERS 2 – INMATES 1 [Baptist Bowl]: Pitcher’s duel between Floyd and Rzepcghiu Rzpgauyrtb Rzpciasx , fuck, forget it. Inmates only get three hits because they can’t even pronounce this bastard’s name.

(Editor's note: While I appreciate The HEAD INMATE adding the home park on each game report, I am having trouble understanding why the Drillers had to play SIX games at the Baptist Bowl. Could it possibly have something to do with turf damage at Driller Park due to the recent TwilightPalooza?)

Fungoes vs Rhinos

Fungoes 5, Rhinos 5

From the Fungrosses...

Fungoes and Rhinos squared off at WTF tonight. Here are the results:

Game 1 Rhinos score 3 first inning runs and that proves to be all they would need.

FUNGOES......... 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 - 2 8 1
RHINOS..............3 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 - 5 7 0

Sabathia gets the win for the Rhinos while Wakefield takes the loss. Bell picks up the save.

Game 2 Rhinos score in the first inning again and win a nail biter 3-2.

FUNGOES......... 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 - 2 7 0
RHINOS............. 1 0 0 0 2 0 0 0 - 3 9 0

Garza the win and Bergeson the loss. Save for Thornton.

Matt Garza(1-0) earned his pay with a solid performance for the Rhinos. He was
reached for 7 hits and 2 walks in 6 and 1/3 innings. Garza mowed down 9
Fungi batters.

'I didn't have my best stuff but
sometimes you just get lucky,' Garza said, 'this was one of those times.'

Game 3 Fungoes win in walkoff fashion 4-3.

RHINOS............ 0 2 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 - 3 8 1
FUNGOES......... 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 3 - 4 5 0

Sabathia takes the loss while Robertson gets the win in relief for the Fungoes.

Fungoes erupted with the game winning runs in the 9th inning with 3 runs on 3
hits. After an out was recorded, Ryan Zimmerman opened up the rally as he
lined a single. Lance Berkman came to the plate and lined a one-base hit.
Brett Gardner then was hit by a pitch. Grady Sizemore was up next and he
drew a walk. Cesar Izturis stepped into the box and doubled. Fungoes won
despite being out-hit by the Rhinos 8 hits to 5.

Al Kaline, Fungoes manager was ebullient after the game, 'It's great to win a hard fought
game like that. Our guys just weren't going to be denied. And did you see
the fans - they were going wild! Yes sir, a very enjoyable win tonight!'

Game 4 Fungoes win in 12, 6-4! Rhinos score 1 in the top of the 12th only to have the Fungoes score 3 in the bottom half of the inning.

RHINOS............ 0 1 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 0 0 1 - 4 13 1
FUNGOES......... 0 0 1 0 0 0 2 0 0 0 0 3 - 6 15 1

Thornton gets the loss while Pinto picks up the win for the Fungoes.

The game was deadlocked at 3 after nine full innings. Fungoes came out on top
in the 12th inning. Orlando Hudson led off and started the rally when he
banged out a single. Denard Span was next and he delivered a base-hit.
Lance Berkman followed, but he was set down on strikes. Ryan Zimmerman was
next to the plate, but was promptly struck out. Cruz stepped into the box
and smacked a three-run homer giving the Fungoes the win much to the delight of the
home town crowd. Fungi hitters banged out 15 hits on the night.

Game 5 Rhinos score first and often running off with a 9-2 win.

RHINOS............ 1 0 1 0 1 1 3 2 0 - 9 14 1
FUNGOES......... 0 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 - 2 5 2

Burnett gets the win while Porcello takes the loss for the Fungoes.

Troy Tulowitzki had 3 base hits and 2 RBI as the RHINOS defeated the
FUNGOES by the score of 9 to 2 at Pac Bell Park.

A.J. Burnett(1-0) gave JOSE a solid outing. He went 7 and 1/3 innings
allowing 5 hits and 8 walks. Offensively, JOSE was a juggernaut. They
scored in 6 separate innings.

Game 6 In game 1 of a Day-Night double header, the Fungoes score 6 in the first and hold on in this slugfest winning it 15-8.

FUNGOES......... 6 1 0 3 0 2 3 0 0 - 15 20 1
RHINOS............ 0 0 0 3 4 0 0 0 1 - 8 9 1

Michael Cuddyer ripped 3 homeruns and had 7 RBI as the FUNGOES outscored
the RHINOS 15 to 8.

Cuddyer had a great day at the plate. He smacked a single in the 1st inning,
ripped a solo home run in the 2nd inning, rifled a three-run blast in the 4th
inning and clubbed a three-run home run in the 7th inning. Fungo bats were
hot in the 1st inning when they had 6 runs on 7 hits. The Fungoes had 20 hits
overall, while the Rhinos had 9.

Clayton Kershaw(3-0) went 5 innings allowing 7 runs for the win. Kershaw got
help from David Robertson who was credited with his 1st save. The loss was
charged to Zach Duke(0-1). He served up 5 gopher balls in 9 innings.

'I didn't feel that good when I came to the park today,' Cuddyer said. 'I'm
glad I decided to play!'

Game 7 In game 2 of the double header the Fungoes break out on top with a 3 spot in the first and then run away with the win 7-2.

FUNGOES......... 3 1 0 1 2 0 0 0 0 - 7 11 1
RHINOS............ 0 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 - 2 7 0

Rowland-Smith picks up the win while Millwood takes the loss.

Game 8 Rhinos win this one 6-2.

FUNGOES......... 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 0 0 - 2 5 0
RHINOS............ 1 0 0 1 1 0 1 2 - 6 8 3

Soria gets the win in relief for the Rhinos while Porcello is tagged with the loss. Bell gets his second save of the series.

Tulowitzki enjoyed a fine evening at the plate. He cracked a solo homerun in
the 4th inning and cracked a two-run shot in the 8th inning. The Rhinos ended up
with 8 hits for the game while the Fungoes had 5.

Game 9 Sabathia shuts out the Fungoes 2-0 allowing only 4 hits.

RHINOS............. 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 - 2 11 0
FUNGOES......... 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 - 0 4 0

C.C. Sabathia dominated striking out 10 Fungo batters as the RHINOS
topped the FUNGOES by a score of 2 to 0 at Pac Bell
Park. Tim Wakefield was the losing pitcher. 'We didn't have a whole lot of
chances tonight,' Al Kaline said. 'Sabathia just was too much for our
guys. We stunk up the joint tonight'

Game 10 Bergeson, Pinto, and Robertson combine for the shut out for the Fungoes as they win it 4-0.

RHINOS............. 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 - 0 6 0
FUNGOES......... 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 2 - 4 5 0

Matt Wieters had 2 base hits at Pac Bell Park where the FUNGOES beat the
RHINOS by the score of 4 to 0.

Brad Bergesen(2-1) earned his pay with a solid performance for the Fungoes. He
surrendered 6 hits and 1 walk in 5 innings lowering his ERA from 2.79 to
2.22. the Fungoes managed only 5 hits on the night.

David Robertson recorded the save, his 2nd. A.J. Burnett(1-1) was given the
loss. He gave up 4 runs and 5 hits in 7 and 1/3 innings.

Fungoes are now 51-35 on the season.