Sidewinders 2, Killer Bees 2

CM 4 at SSWs
7/31 Bees kick the shit out of us 9-1. Kennedy goes the distance for the win
8/1 Morrow beats Cueto. 4-2. Kimbrel pitches his 193rd inning for the save. Pitching coach Mr Clete says" fok em." Old Hoss Radbourne is in agreement.
8/2 Snakes get a 5-1 lead on Verlander of all people and proceed to piss it away. We score two in bottom of the ninth to force extra innings. Both teams plate a single run in the 10 th and Bees put us out of our misery with 2 in the 11th.
8/3 Lester spins 4 hit shutout. I am sorry for the paucity of offensive highlights but we have a paucity of offense.

Drillers 3, Tweeners 2

Drillers 3 Tweeners 2 at MudPit

Game 1 - Tweeners slap Haren around with 14 hits, half of which for extra
bases. King Felix does the rest. Tweeners 5 Drillers 3.
Game 2 - Cory Hart goes 3 for 4 but, the one time he's up with two outs and
bases loaded in the 8th, he finds the omega out. And yes, we walked Victor
intentionally to get to him. Drillers 12 Tweeners 7.
Game 3 - Ruben Tejada shows up with a 3 for 4, 5 RBI game and it's all
McCarthy needs for a CG 9 to 2 win.
Game 4 - *Note to self* Don't start a lefty vs Tweeners... Luckily, out of
13 Tweener baserunners, only 5 scored off Romero in his 5 innings of work.
Jeter provided an x-chance single and a crucial error to lift the Drillers
to victory 7 - 6.
Game 5 - Christhian Martinez blows a save in a heartbreaking 2 - 1 Driller
loss in the ninth as Presley delivers a two-run, pinch hit tater. Niemann
had a shut-out through 7...

Dd

Tweeners 8, Sidewinders 6

Be it ever so humble . . .

Extra innings were common, and the home field advantage was pronounced as the Tweeners and Sidewinders knocked out their season series this weekend. Snakes made the road trip to Logan County, and dice chattered for 14 games played on the "dry" side of the line that bisects the Tenn-Tucky Tavern. Distractions were minimal, as the pole dancing injunction remains in litigation. A synopsis from the Tweeners' perspective:

4 game series at the Church Lot: Game #1 Tweeners took an early lead, but Snakes scored 5 in the 6th inning off Nova & Santos, Kimbrel saved the 7-5 win. Game #2, Will Venable's 2-out homer capped a 3 run Tweeners 9th inning, forcing extra innings, but Lonnie Chisenhall hit a walk-off homer off Javier Lopez, Snakes won 5-4 in 13. Tweeners broke serve with a 7-4 win in game #3, Felix Hernandez picked up his 12th victory. Game #4, Tweeners pissed away a 3 run lead, Snakes won 4-3 in 16 innings. A first for the Tweeners was an at-bat where we used 3 different pinch-hitters (without success). Alex Presley led off the 11th inning with a base hit, and Victorino followed with a double to CF, but Presley was thrown out at the plate as Victorino advanced to 3rd on the throw. Corey Hart was announced as a pinch-hitter, but when the Snakes changed pitchers he was called back in favor of Madison Bumgarner. The suicide squeeze was on, and MadBum missed the pitch, with Victorino out on the attempted steal of home. Hannahan then became the 3rd pinch-hitter of the at-bat, and lined out to end the inning. Shitfuck.

On to the Hooverdome for a 3 game set. Snakes continued their winning ways, taking the opener by a score of 2-1, Tweeners stranded 11 baserunners including 2 in the 9th. Game #6, Tweeners scored 4 in the 1st, MadBum threw 8 strong innings for the 5-2 win. Game #7 got ugly as Tweeners led 7-0 when Snakes pitchers started headhunting. 4 different Tweeners were hit by pitches, including Morse twice, while Hudson and Worley failed to retaliate. "Our pitchers can't just let that shit go on with impunity", said manager George Brett. "I have never been so humiliated while winning a game 11-1."

Back to Stanley for 3 games. Game #8 featured 7 solo homeruns, 4 by the Tweeners, and Felix allowed nothing else in earning his 13th win by a score of 7-3. The homestanding Snakes took the next 2. Game #9 was more extra innings, and we again had a pitcher (Hudson) fail to execute a squeeze bunt in the 12th inning. Some asshole hit a 2 run homer in the bottom of the 9th off Hanrahan, some other asshole hit a 2 run walk-off in the 13th off Worley, Snakes prevailed 7-5. Game #10 went to the Snakes 3-2, Craig Kimbrel pitched his 23rd inning against the Tweeners to pick up both the win and the save.

Down 6 games to 4, the Tweeners swept the 4 game September homestand to take the season series from the Stubborn Sidewinders. Game #11 featured a pair of 2-run triples by Alex Presley, final score 6-4. Felix pitched well in game #12 but did not factor in the decision, Tweeners won 4-3 when Mark Reynolds scored on a 9th inning sac fly by Nick Hundley. In game #13 a Hundley homer capped a 4 run 7th inning, final score 5-2. In the finale the Tweeners used 10 hits and 9 walks (8 issued by Lester) to cruise to a 7-1 win. When the dust had settled, Tweeners won 6 of 7 at home, Snakes won 5 of 7 at home. And thanks to the 15 extra innings, most of our better players are about to run out of at-bats.

Inmates 8, Mavs 6

The MavMan made the arduous trek to Waco on Saturday for the annual Inmate-Mav showdown, only to lose 8 of 14 to the Inmates.

INMATES 6 – MAVS 5 (Baptist Bowl): A close game ends in the bottom of the 9^th when Espinosa hits a lead-off walk-off homer.

INMATES 4 – MAVS 3 (Baptist Bowl): Another see-saw affair. Cargo hits a two-run tater in the 7^th for the margin of victory.

MAVS 3 – INMATES 2 (Baptist Bowl): Notice the trend of diminishing offense…5 Mav pitchers toss a 5-hitter at the LDMF.

MAVS 2 – LDMF 0 (MavDome): Beachy and Bastard-O toss a two-hitter, but the Mav strategy of using 5 pitchers works again as they throw a 4-hit shutout.

MAVS 5 – INMATES 4 (MAV Stadium): Another close game, but once again the Mavs prevail.

MAVS 7 – INMATES 6 (Mav-ville): Inmates score four in the 9^th to lose another one-run game.

INMATES 9 – MAVS 3 (Baptist Bowl): The first un-close game. Jones hits two jacks for the Inmates. Both teams get 10 hits. The Mavs score 3 in the 9^th to avoid the ignominy of being shutout by the Inmate staff.

MAVS 3 – LDMF 1 (Baptist Bowl): All of the runs score on taters this game. Neither team can score much, but the LDMF manage only 3 hits off of four Mav pitchers.

INMATES 4 – MAVS 3 (Baptist Bowl): The second game in which the Inmates win via a lead-off walk-off homer in the bottom of the 9^th, this one by Beltre.

LDMF 3 – MAVS 2 (Baptist Bowl): Another see-saw affair. Howard hits a two-run tater in the 6^th for the margin of victory (are we seeing a pattern here?). A total of 7 hits between the two teams in this game.

LDMF 3 – FDMF (Flaccid Dick Mother Fuckers) 2 (MAVDome): Mav ownership considering ritual disembowelment after the fifth consecutive game of scoring 3 runs or less against the Inmate Arson Squad. Inmate ownership is used to this kind of shit, as the LDMF has averaged less than three runs per game over the last four. What they CAN’T get used to is winning with this kind of lack of offense.

FDMF 3 – LDMF 0 (Mavville): The mass impotence continues as 4 Mav hurlers stop (?) the LDMF cold with the second shutout of the day.

LDMF 3 - FDMF 1 (MAV Stadium): The lack of offensive prowess is underwhelming. The interesting thing is how close all but one of the games have been.

INMATES 11 – FDMF 3 (Somewhere in Dallas Dome): No one knows what in hell happened here. Another ho-hum offensive contest stood at 1-1 after 5 innings, when an unknown team of real major league hitters show up in the guise of Inmates. After the barrage, the Inmates had 11 runs on 14 hits. The NDMF continued their trend of scoring three or less for the 8^th straight time.

The HEAD INMATE

Rhinos 3, Killer Bees 2

Rhinos go 3-2 at the Hive. Good luck in the playoffs biiiiaaaaatttttccccchhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nads 3, Killer Bees 2

Nads take 3 of 5 at the Hive. You suck.

Later,

Bees

Bourn scores twice on the same at bat...

This from Yahoo...

Bottom 1st: Atlanta

- M. Bourn homered to deep center

- M. Prado grounded out to second, M. Bourn to third

- J. Heyward singled to second, M. Bourn scored

- J. Heyward stole second

- C. Jones walked

- F. Freeman walked, J. Heyward to third, C. Jones to second

- D. Uggla fouled out to third

- D. Ross walked, J. Heyward scored, C. Jones to third, F. Freeman to second

- J. Wilson fouled out to third

Rhinos 5, Goofs 5

Rhinos go 5-5 vs goofs.

(Insert riveting game results here.)

Drillers 3, Sidewinders 2

Drillers Bag Snakes 3 – 2 at Mudpit

Game 1 – Snakes out hit Drillers, out score Drillers, and out pitch Drillers. Snakes win 4 – 3.

Game 2 – An Ellsbury “x-chance” single to CF, an Ellsbury SB, a sac bunt by Bourjos, and a Longoria + hit past the drawn in infield leads to a 9^th inning Driller win 7 – 6.

Game 3 – Pineda sucks shit vs his old team giving up 14 hits and 7 runs. Hmmm could this guy be hurt? Drillers take it 7 – 3.

Game 4 – Jimenez CG 3 – 0 ShO 13Ks. Drillers miss 3 HR 1-18 and get CS 1-18 all for 3^rd outs.

Game 5 – Foking Thome ties it top 9. Bottom 9 we got 1^st and 3^rd one out, and find out “outfield in” subtracts 7 from runner… gotta hold 1-5. JAY BRUCE walks it off in 11^th for a fitting end to a Pineda started game! Drillers win 4 – 3.

Dd

The Contest for the Extra Reserve Spot

At the All Star Break, the Mavs are still holding on to first place in The Contest for the Extra Reserve. They've led most of the season, but are getting a big challenge from the Snakes. Right now the Mavs hold their lead by the slimmest of margins, 461-460.

Barking at their heels are the Buckeyes, Fungoes, Drillers, and Tweeners at 455. The Pigs (454) and Zaps (453) are within shouting distance and fill out the top 8.

The Yankees and Rangers lead the majors with 52 wins, and the Phillies have been a huge disappointment with 37 wins, but none of those teams matter because they were picked by all 15* of us. By the same token, the Tigers and Angels won't change any outcomes, since they were chosen by ALMOST all of us - and the teams not choosing them are currently residing in the last two spots in the standings.

All of the top 8 teams have the Rays. None of the next 5 teams do.

So... the races come down to the following:

The slumping Red Sox were taken by all of the contenders except the Snakes and Zaps. If they get hot, it could mean trouble for those two teams. If the Sox continue to falter, the Mavs (and Bobby V) could suffer the consequences.

The Braves belong to all the contenders except the Buckeyes and Zaps.

Strangely enough, the only team to take the red hot Nationals was the Inmates, but they currently reside in 9th place. Picking the Nationals was astute, but it hasn't helped the Inmates overcome the poor showings of the Brewers, Marlins, and D-backs.

Those Marlins have also hurt the chances of the Tweeners and Pigs. Unless the Marlins turn it around, those two teams won't compete for the title.

The only team among the top 8 to take the Cardinals was the Buckeyes. His chances will very much rise and fall with the success of the Redbirds.

The best race is the one in the NL West. Every one of the contenders has either the Giants or the Dodgers except the Tweeners who took neither. No one took them both.

And the key to the leaderboard is the Reds. The Mavs and Snakes both have Dusty's boys. The teams ranked 3 thru 5 do not have them.

It's been pretty interesting to watch the race for the extra reserve pick. I try to update the standings every 4-5 days. Stay tuned...



(* The Nads, per tradition, have chosen not to take part in the Contest for the Extra Reserve. Said Dave, "That was just 45 seconds of my life that I chose not to waste on making predictions. Plus, by not choosing, I can't be ridiculed for making stupid picks... like the Goofs did.")

Tweeners 2, Fungoes 0

Tweeners rely on the long ball and a couple of quality starts to take 2 from the Fungoes at the Hooverdome. In game 1 Marco Scutaro got it started with a 1st inning blast off Stauffer, Hart and Zobrist both homered and drove in 3, MadBum got the win, final score 8-4. Game 2, Felix Hernandez improved his record to 11-4 with 7.2 scoreless innings, Tweeners won 5-3. Hosmer hit a 2 out, 3 run homer in the 9th to make it look closer than it was. Brett Myers suffered the loss. He was touched for 3 homeruns in his 7 and 2/3 innings of work (Zobrist, Morse, and Venable). 'You have to give DEREK credit, they fought us tough to the end' George Brett said. 'It could have gone either way, but I'm glad we pulled out the victory.'

All Star Monday

The Home Run Derby has to be watched with the sound muted. How on earth does Chris Berman still get work?

During the Celebrity and Legends softball game, there were a couple of good lines by Bill Simmons. At one point the long-time Red Sox fan said, "Bo Jackson might even be a worse manager than Grady Little."

But the best line came after a ball dropped in front of Rickey Henderson:
John Anderson: "Not a maximum effort from Rickey Henderson on that one."
Bill Simmons: "Actually, it reminded me of the last 5 years of his career."

Drillers 3, Sidewinders 2

416 SSWS 5 Drillers 3
4/17 Drillers9 SSWs 3
4/18 Drillers 8 SSWs 2


7/13 SSWs 8-DD 7
7/14 DD8 snakes 3

Killer Bees 4, Sidewinders 3

Bees@SSWs

5/9 Bees win 3-1. All scoring in the 1st. Lester and Lee go the distance.
5/10 Bees win 6-1 behind homeruns by Fielder and Parra.
5/11SSWs win 10-2. Pineda beats Cueto.Giambi and Stubbs go yard.


SSWs@Bees

6/18 Sidewinders beat Verlander(???) 5-4 behind 2 Wright HRs. Kimbrel with the save.
6/19 Wild game. Bees win 6-5. Bees take 3-2 lead into the 8th. Snakes tie it up in the top of the 8th, Bees tack on one in the bottom half. Snakes score 2 to take the lead in the 9th and Kimbrel coughs up 2 in the bottom of the 9th.
6/20 Bees tie it in the 9th and win it in the 10th 7-6
6/21 SSWs win 9-5 in 11. Wright hit a 3 run HR in the 11th

Nads 3, Tweeners 2

CM games at the Hooverdome.

Nads suffer the ill effects of the long bus ride to Logan County, dropping 2 straight to start the series. In the opener, MadBum threw 6 scoreless innings, Worley got a 3 inning save, Tweeners win 6-1. DAVE's manager was pretty down after the loss. 'We've really been sputtering along lately, something like 0-10 in the last week or two. That won't get it done.'

In game 2 Pablo Sandoval ripped 2 homeruns (both off Collmenter's card) and had 4 RBI at The Hooverdome where the NORM TWEENERS beat the DAVE NADS by the score of 8 to 3. The home town fans were very appreciative of the fine hitting performance provided by the Kung Fu Panda. He popped a two-run clout over the fence in the 1st inning, cleared the fences for a two-run home run in the 3rd inning and laced a one-base hit in the 7th inning. NORM had 13 hits overall, while DAVE had 9. Felix Hernandez(10-4) picked up the victory, allowing 3 runs in 6 and 1/3 innings. Josh Collmenter(5-3) was given the loss. He allowed 3 homeruns in 7 innings of work.

Thereafter the Nads' pitchers dominated, as the Tweeners would only score in 2 of 27 innings in the final 3 games. Game 3 was an 11-1 Nads blowout, as Dan Hudson tossed BP and only a clutch 9th inning HR by V-Mart prevented a shutout. Tweeners jumped out to a 2-0 lead on a 1st inning homer by Morse, then emulated LDMFs with 17 consecutive bagels while losing the 4th game 5-2 and game 5 by a score of 6-0. Collmenter atoned for his earlier loss by tossing the 3 hit shutout.

Wahoos 3, Zaps 2

Wahoos win 3 straight before giving up a ton of runs in the last 2 to finish with a series win. Game 5 was the highlight. The Wahoos blew a 10-3 lead and fell 13-12.

Score:

Wahoos 9-2

Wahoos 8-7

Wahoos 7-4

Zaps 17-7

Zaps 13-12

Zaps hit .384 with 43 runs. They had an ERA of 9.00. Reyes, Duda and Morrison all had at least 16 hits and hit over .400. Reyes was at .462.

Weird stat. Wahoos had 7 runs on 2 hits in Game 4 (we drew 10 walks). Wahoos hit .333 with an 8.60 ERA.

Killer Bees 3, Inmates 2

(all games at Baptist Bowl vs CM)

BEES 8 – INMATES 3: A tight game becomes a laugher after BASTARD-O enters in relief and gives up moon shots to Beltran and Santana. All 91 Inmate fans shit themselves in disgust.

INMATES 6 – BEES 5: Verlander has two bad innings and allows taters to Jones and Cargo. Bees rally for 3 in 9^th but it’s not enough. Santana continues to “sting” LDMF pitching with a triple and goes 2-4.

INMATES 5 – BEES 4: An extra-base hit festival as 10 of the 16 hits in the game are doubles or homers. Santana continues at a blistering pace with another homer, but the Inmates have Altuve, Beltre, and Wells all leave the yard. Once again the Bees rally in the 9^th but come up short.

BEES 7 – LDMF 0: Verlander Ks 12 and tosses the CG shutout. Floyd gives up HRs to Castro (?), Fielder, and Santana (who else?) before being allowed to head to the clubhouse to bang his head on the wall.

BEES 11 – INMATES 5: Rios hits a 2-run blast in the 2^nd to cap off a three-run inning for a 3-0 lead, and then the Bees got out the lumber scoring seven in the 7^th and four more in the 9^th. LDMF scored two in the last of the 9^th to make it look closer than it really was.

The HEAD INMATE

Goofs 5, Warpigs 2

All games played vs CM at the BallPork.

Gm 1 - Goofs win 10-6. The Goofs scored 4 off of Erik Bedard in the 1st and never looked back. Torii Hunter and Jesus Guzman combined to go 5-9 with 2 homers and 7 RBI. Freddie Freeman homered twice for the Pigs.

Gm 2 - Pigs win 5-4 in 10 innings. Smiles all around as Brandon Crawford, called up from the minors to rest Stephen Drew for a few games, goes 3-5 including his first homer of the year, a walk-off blast on a 2-12 roll in the 10th inning.

Gm 3 - Pigs win 7-2. Jake Westbrook lost his shutout in the 9th on a 2-run homer by Brandon Phillips, but he still went the distance with a 3-hitter.

Gm 4 - Goofs win 9-2. Matt Joyce, Marlon Byrd, and Ike Davis - batting 3-4-5 - pound the Pigs for 8 hits, 3 homers, and 7 RBI. Kyle Lohse goes the distance for the win.

Gm 5 - Goofs win 3-2. A 2-run 9th inning homer by Delmon Young ruined the shutout and made it close, but this game was all about the pitching of Carlos Villanueva and the hitting of Melky Cabrera.

Gm 6 - Goofs win 7-3. Marlon Byrd (Marlon Byrd!) goes 5-5 (all singles) and Kerry Wood throws 3.1 innings to get a save.

Gm 7 - Goofs win 2-0. Melky Cabrera provided all the scoring with a 7th inning 2-run homer. Matt Harrison had relief help, but gets win. Three pitchers combined for the shutout.

Sidewinders 4, Fungoes 1

5/27 Pineda and Kimbrel best Kershaw. Chisenhall hits a HR; SSWs win 2-1
5/28 SSWs win 8-3. Morrow goes strong 8. Only runs for Fungoes were unearned on a Morrow error.

8/23 Zimmerman hits a 2 run HR in the 11th for 6-4 Fungo win
8/24 Lincecum goes the distance in 12-2 SSWs win; Chisenhall homers twice.
8/25 Porcello and Lester go the distance in a 6-2 SSWs win. Half of the total runs were unearned on 2 errors by Cuddyer and one by Mauer

Inmates 3, Goofs 2

(all games at the Baptist Bowl)

INMATES 2 – GOOFS 1: Nobody hit in this game. Joyce broke up Norris’s no-hitter in the 7^th with a solo tater. Cargo hit a jack for the LDMF.

GOOFS 9 – LDMF 3: Inmates manager Mike Schmidt told LDMF pitchers to throw stikes, and they proved to be eminently coachable, as they K’d 15 Goofs. Unfortunately, finding the K-zone also meant that BP was only a prelude of the shit to come. Jaso (2xs), Joyce, and Ramirez played Babe-fucking-Ruth and it got ugly after that.

GOOFS 8 – LDMF 2: The bombardment continued as the Goofs led 4-0 before the LDMF even got to bat. Billingsley took the reaming, allowing 10 hits in 4 innings as Inmate pitchers continued to find the strike zone. Goofs end up with 18 hits and show signs of fatigue from running around the bases.

INMATES 5 – GOOFS 2: Lohse implodes in the 3^rd, allowing three runs and five hits while the Inmate staff quits throwing strikes (walking 6). Inmates win! Inmates win! Inmates win!

INMATES 6 – GOOFS 3: Beltre goes 4-4 with two homers, including a 1^st-inning grand slam. Chacin and two relievers don’t suck too bad.

The HEAD INMATE