Playoff Seeds

With the Zaps finishing his season, the playoff teams have been determined.

The first round will have the Buckeyes (5) facing the Warpigs (4), and the Tweeners (6) facing the Zaps (3). Awaiting the winners of those series will be the Fungoes and Sidewinders. The Snakes have 5 games left. A Snake sweep will give him the same record as the Fungoes, otherwise the Fungoes will have the top seed.

The Inmates missed the playoffs by 1 game and will have lucky pick #10.

Zaps 5, Nads 0

The Zaps were firing on all cylinders to sweep the series.

Game 1- Zaps clinch the division powered by Liriano's three-hit shutout. Bautista, two taters, and Miggy, one tater, provided the offense in a 12-0 win.
Game 2- Lackey and the bullpen turn in another three-hit shutout of the Nads. Miggy provides the offense by driving in two with a double and hitting a two-run tater in the 10-0 whitewash.
Game 3-The Zaps score five runs in the first inning powered by Bautista's granny. Scherzer goes the distance for the 6-3 triumph.
Game 4-The Zaps broke open a close game in the home half of the eighth behind a lead-off home run by McCutchen and a two-run, pinch hit triple by Chase Utley (UCLA Bruin alum). The rally preserved the win for Cole Hamels.
Game 5- A strong outing by Greinke gives the Zaps the nod in the finale. Goldschmidt's two-run double was the key hit in the 5-2 game.

Zaps 3, Fungoes 2

It was a back and forth series.
Game 1-Harvey and Hamels hooked up in a 1-1 pitcher's duel until Fungoe
Man pulled Matt because of a pitch count after six innings. When Navarro
hit a grand slam off of Perkins in the home half of the 8th inning
Harvey went nuts tearing up the dugout and the clubhouse, and rumor has
it he hurt his elbow while doing so!
Game 2-The Fungoes chase Niese early and take advantage of six walks to
counter the Zaps 3-1 edge in taters to back Medlen's complete game 8-4
triumph.
Game 3-The Zaps feast on David Price for two runs in the first and five
runs in the second. Liriano tires in the 6th but the big lead allows the
pen to curise to an 11-4 victory.
Game 4-Kershaw and Niese duel to a 3-3 tie through seven innings but the
Fungoes get an unearned run off in the top of the 9th to give Cishek the
win in relief.
Game 5-Scherzer pitches a strong seven innings to out duel Medlen in the
getaway game. The big blow is a Navarro three-run tater that gets the
scoring started in the home half of the 4th inning. The pen barely hangs
onto to the lead for a 5-4 win.

Zaps 3, Killer Bees 2

Game One- At PNC Park the TRISTAN VIVAZAPASTAS outscored the PHILIP Killer Bees 4 to 1. TRISTAN came up with 3 runs in the 4th inning. After an out was recorded, Paul Goldschmidt opened up the rally as he stroked a base-hit. Miguel Cabrera next to the plate and he reached on an error. Dioner Navarro then smacked a three-run homer. TRISTAN out-hit PHILIP for the game, 10 hits to 4. Zack Greinke(13-11) was the winner allowing 1 run in 5 and 1/3 innings. Brad Ziegler was credited with his 10th save. Cliff Lee(3-1) was the losing pitcher. He allowed 3 runs and 4 hits in 5 innings.

Game Two-The TRISTAN VIVAZAPASTAS bested the PHILIP Killer Bees by a 12 to 8 score at PNC Park. TRISTAN promptly took the lead in their half of the first as they scored 3 runs on 4 base hits. PHILIP had a chance in the 9th but they came up short. The win was credited to Francisco Liriano(9-6) who went 5 innings allowing 4 runs. Julio Teheran(2-1) was tagged with the loss. He gave up 4 hits and no walks in 1/3 of an inning.

Game Three-Julio Teheran went the distance at PNC Park as the PHILIP Killer Bees embarrassed the TRISTAN VIVAZAPASTAS by the lopsided score of 13 to 2. Teheran(3-1) earned his pay with a solid performance for PHILIP. He was reached for 5 hits and 5 walks in 9 innings lowering his ERA to 2.79. PHILIP totaled 13 hits on the afternoon. The losing pitcher was Francisco Liriano(9-7). He allowed PHILIP 5 runs in 3 innings of work.

Game Four-TRISTAN VIVAZAPASTAS won a dramatic crowd-pleaser over PHILIP Killer Bees at PNC Park pulling it out in their last at bats, 12 to 9. TRISTAN scored the winning runs in the 9th inning scoring 3 runs on 3 hits. Miguel Cabrera got things going when he ripped a one-base hit. Jose Reyes stepped up next and he hit a single. Jose Bautista then rifled a three-run blast giving TRISTAN the win and sending the home town fans into a frenzy. PHILIP was out-hit by TRISTAN, 15 hits to 11. The winning pitcher was Bobby Parnell(4-1) who allowed no runs in 1 inning. Luke Hochevar(0-1) took the loss in relief. He gave up 4 runs and 4 hits in 1 inning.

Game Five- The PHILIP Killer Bees bested the TRISTAN VIVAZAPASTAS by a 7 to 4 score at PNC Park. PHILIP set the tone of the game in the first inning when they came up with 4 runs on 2 hits. The key at-bat was by Daniel Nava who quieted the crowd when he doubled emptying the bases. TRISTAN went down quietly in the bottom of the 9th. Tim Lincecum(1-2) went 5 and 2/3 innings allowing 4 runs for the win. Louis Coleman earned his 1st save. Max Scherzer(13-9) ended up with the loss. He got hit pretty hard, allowing 9 hits and 6 walks in 6 innings.

MadBum

Well, everyone figured the post season would be dominated by a left-hander... we just figured it would be that guy down in LA.

22 Years Old

Cardinal rookie Oscar Taveras died in a car crash today. He was 22.

Warpigs 8, DVs 2

The Pigs made the drive up to Tulsa this weekend for the BUD championship. Both teams entered the 10-game series with identical records. The first one to 6 was the winner (including a possible game 11 to break the tie).

The Warpigs started off hot and the DVs started off cold, and it didn't vary much the whole series, which included the most amazing finish I've ever seen in game 4.

First three @ DV Field

Gm1 - Warpigs win 6-1 - Brandon Crawford silenced the rowdy DV crowd with a 2nd inning Grand Slam off of Andrew Cashner. Yonder Alonso hit a 2-run homer the next inning, and Adam Wainwright (22-9) won his 22nd game.

Gm2 - Warpigs win 6-4 - The DVs scored 4 in the 2nd inning on 2 singles, 4 walks, and an error. But Brandon Crawford hit another homer in the 5th and the DV lead was 4-3 going into the 6th. A.J. Pollock and Albert Pujols hit back-to-back pinch hit home runs in the 6th to give the Pigs the lead, and Jose Fernandez (15-5), with some stellar relief work, got the win. Tyler Lyons picked up his 3rd save of the year.

Gm3 - Warpigs win 6-3 - Stephen Strasburg (16-8) went 8.1 innings for the win. Yoenis Cespedes and Albert Pujols homered. Dexter Fowler and Giancarlo Stanton homered for the DVs.

Next three @ The BallPork

Gm4 - Warpigs win 5-4 - This one was unbelievable. The Pigs led 3-2 going to the top of the 9th. Casey Fien was on in relief, but the first batter up was Brian McCann, and Fien doesn't like lefties. The next two batters, however, were RHers, so Fien cautiously faced McCann. All we needed him to do in this park, was avoid 6-5. The roll? 6-5. Gone. Game tied. Fien stayed in to face the righties. Next batter was Allen Craig... 6-5. Again. This homer they had to roll for, but back-to-back rolls of 6-5 gave the DVs the lead. On to the bottom of the 9th. The first two Pig batters go meekly against Tommy "Big Game" Hunter. Austin Jackson was the next scheduled hitter, and the bench had already been emptied. BUT... Michael Bourn was at DH, so the Pigs reached for Pitcher Hitting Card #7 and brought Jose Fernandez to the plate. He rolled 2-3 for the game tying homer. Un-fucking-believable. When Jose reached home, he was met by DV catcher Brian McCann and words were exchanged. Both benches emptied. When order was restored, the DVs were faced with a dilemma: Let the reeling Hunter face Brandon Crawford or go to a lefty. The only thing to worry about was... get this... a solid HR vs LH on... yep, 6-5. He left him in. Crawford's roll? 6-5. Ballgame. (Additional note: the date of this game was July 4th. So yes, there were fireworks.)

Gm5 - Warpigs win 3-1 - Strasburg (17-8) needed 2.1 innings of bullpen help, but the Pigs held on for their 5th straight victory of the weekend, and 7th straight overall. Casey Fien, Tyler Lyons, and Michael Wacha each allowed a baserunner in the 9th to load the bases, but Wacha struck out the last two batters for the save.

Gm6 - DVs win 6-1 - Zack Wheeler was forced to start a game because of inning problems, and he pitched better than expected. The teams were tied 1-1 into the 8th when the DV bats finally woke up. Wheeler took the tough loss, getting no help from the bullpen.

Last 4 @ DV Field

Gm7 - Warpigs win 4-1 - Jose Fernandez (16-5) hit the floor after 5 innings of shutout ball but was around long enough to the the win. The game ended with an odd situation. Because the Pigs had used all of their relievers except Terrible Tommy Milone and Nick "Firestarter" Tepesch, the Warpig choices were limited in the bottom of the 9th when the DVs loaded the bases with nobody out. Wacha got a K and a popout, but Matt Holliday was up - not a great match-up for Wacha. The decision, questionable as it was, was to bring in Milone to face Holliday. He got the out for the save. The Pigs clinched the BUD with this victory.

Gm8 - Warpigs win 5-0 - Strasburg (18-8) used his last 9 innings to throw a complete game shutout. He allowed only 4 singles and struck out 11.

Gm9 - DVs win 3-1 - Both teams reached down deep on their benches for this game. Both lineups looked like a Spring Training game. Jake Odorizzi, spot starting for the inning-depleted Wily Peralta, pitched well in only his 2nd start of the year. In fact, he did not take the loss.

Gm10 - Warpigs win 14-2 - The DVs experimented, allowing each reliever to throw an inning. The experiment failed. Yonder Alonso had 4 hits including 1 of 4 Pig homers in the game. Adam Wainwright (23-9) got the win.

BUD Showdown Weekend

The Pigman heads to Tulsa for a showdown with the DVs.

Inmates 6, Wahoos 4

INMATES 6 – WAHOOS 4 (all games via netplay)

It was the best of rolls; it was the worst of rolls…

The Inmates needed to win 7 of 10 for a chance to make the playoffs.

Inmates 4 – Wahoos 3 (12 innings – Baptist Bowl): Verlander and Chacin lock into an old-fashioned pitcher’s duel. The Inmates head into the bottom of the 9^th trailing 3-1 when Melancon, with the help of a Desmond error, implodes and allows a pair of LDMF runs to score (highlighted by a solo HR by Parra). This allowed the Wahoos to snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory in the 12^th, when Cargo hit a walk-off tater to complete the Inmates’ come-from-behind victory. THE BEST OF ROLLS.

Wahoos 8 – Inmates 7 (Baptist Bowl): Tired of the Wahoos having their way with the ever easy Stults, Inmate management brings Nud Borris into the game in the 3^rd with one out and the bases loaded to save the day. After one pitch, the day WAS saved – for Desmond, who promptly hit a 791 foot grand salami. The Inmates battle back, but can’t catch up.

Wahoos 8 – Inmates 3 (The Reservation): The Inmates jump to a fast 3-0 lead off of Sanchez, then Chacin gets looser than a $10 crack whore and allows eight runs (five earned) to give the game to the ‘Hoos. Aoki and Beltran had four doubles between them.

Wahoos 4 – Inmates 2 (The Reservation): Verlander pitches well (again) and Stults pitched shitty (again), putting the LDMF in a situation where they had to win out to make the post season. THE WORST OF ROLLS.

Inmates 12 – Wahoos 5 (The Reservation): Could there be life left in the Inmates’ bats? The Beakless Chicken Gang piled on 12 runs and 16 hits to beat the Wahoos, despite Aoki’s two taters. THE BEST OF ROLLS.

Inmates 5 – Wahoos 3 (Baptist Bowl): A 5-run Inmate fourth, highlighted by a Rizzo 3-run HR, was all the LDMF needed for the win. Is there still hope for the playoffs?

Inmates 3 – Wahoos 1 (Baptist Bowl): A Pedroia HR in the 1^st was all the scoring the Wahoos could muster off Danny Salazar, who K’d 12 in 7.1 IP. Inmate front office staff start printing playoff tickets.

Inmates 6 – Wahoos 1 (Baptist Bowl): The Baptist Bowl Juggernaut continues with Straily pitching a very solid 8.1 innings. Jones and Pierzynski both homered in a game that was never close. Confidence levels are high. THE BEST OF ROLLS.

Wahoos 11 – Inmates 10 (The Reservation): With the Inmates down 8-5 in  the 7^th, Josh Satin hit a G-Slammer to cause both Inmate fans to soil themselves with joy as the BC Gang took a 9-8 lead. The Inmate Arson Squad blew the game, and themselves, however, allowing the ‘Hoos one run in the last of the 7^th and a pair in the 8^th on a Beltran single with the infield in. Beltre made two #$%@! errors (HAL is an asshole), meaning only five of the Wahoos eleven runs were earned. An Inmate run in the 9^th made the game closer, but not close enough. Shitfuck. THE WORST OF ROLLS.

Inmates 6 – Wahoos 5 (The Reservation): In a game that was now meaningless to the LDMF, the Inmate pitching staff pitched like a bunch of pussies, the hitters swung bats like crack fairies, and Verlander pitched like Walter Johnson. For 8 innings (THE WORST OF ROLLS). All hell broke loose in the 9^th, as the Inmates scored six times to take the lead. Then Furbush and Grilli slammed the door in the last of the inning for the improbable victory (THE BEST OF ROLLS). Alas and alack! It was all for naught as the Baptists from Waco finish the year one game behind the Tweakers for the last playoff berth.

Fuckshit.

The HEAD INMATE

Zaps 5, Drillers 2

Game 1-Center fielder Andrew McCutchen had 5 hits and scored 4 times and Jean Machi went 3 and one third innings for the victory at PNC Park as the TRISTAN VIVAZAPASTAS beat the SHAWN DRILLERS in 10 innings by the count of 8 to 7. Both teams were tied at 7 runs apiece after nine innings. Finally, TRISTAN pulled the game out in the 10th inning. After an out was recorded, McCutchen smashed a bases-empty 'big-fly' making TRISTAN victorious to the delight of the the home town crowd. TRISTAN finished with 10 hits in the victory. Machi(5-1) went 3 and 1/3 innings allowing no runs for the victory. Luke Gregerson(0-1) was the loser in relief. He pitched 2 and 1/3 innings and surrendered 1 hit and 2 walks.

Game 2-Cole Hamels whiffed 10 batters and Ryan Sweeney launched 2 homeruns and had 3 RBI as the TRISTAN VIVAZAPASTAS defeated the SHAWN DRILLERS by a score of 10 to 1 at PNC Park. The home town fans were very appreciative of the fine hitting performance provided by Sweeney. He delivered a solo blast in the 3rd inning and blasted a solo shot in the 8th inning. TRISTAN had 10 hits for the afternoon. The victory was credited to Hamels(14-4) who went the distance, allowing 1 run. Mike Minor(3-2) was the loser. He served up 3 homeruns in his 8 innings. TRISTAN's manager was asked about the performance of Hamels, 'He had his good stuff out there this afternoon. The fans really get into it when the strikeouts start mounting up - and that seems to give him even more adrenalin.'

Game 3-The TRISTAN VIVAZAPASTAS defeated the SHAWN DRILLERS by a score of 7 to 3 at PNC Park. Zack Greinke(8-8) pitched a fine game. He surrendered 7 hits and 2 walks in 7 and 1/3 innings. Greinke struckout 8 SHAWN batters. TRISTAN finished with 11 hits in the victory. Ricky Nolasco(3-2) was charged with the loss. He pitched 6 innings allowing 10 hits and 1 walk.

Game 4- Third baseman Manny Machado had 3 base hits and 2 RBI as the TRISTAN VIVAZAPASTAS defeated the SHAWN DRILLERS by a score of 10 to 6 at PNC Park. TRISTAN won the game with an offensive outburst in the bottom of the 8th inning when they exploded for 8 runs on 7 hits. The critical plate appearance was by Machado who made the crowd happy when he stroked a base-hit bringing home two baserunners. Both teams totaled 13 hits on the afternoon. Corey Kluber(4-1) got the win allowing 4 runs in 3 innings. Joe Nathan(0-2) was hit with the loss in relief. He pitched 1/3 of an inning giving up 1 hit and 2 walks.

Game 5- Shortstop Asdrubal Cabrera launched 2 homeruns and had 3 RBI and Alex Cobb pitched 6 strong innings as the SHAWN DRILLERS beat the TRISTAN VIVAZAPASTAS by a score of 6 to 1. Cabrera was a thorn in the side of the hometown fans as he enjoyed a fine day at their team's expense. He popped a two-run clout over the fence in the 3rd inning and ripped a solo home run in the 5th inning. TRISTAN was out-hit by SHAWN, 10 hits to 3. The victory went to Cobb(2-3) who went 6 innings, allowing no runs. Zack Greinke(8-9) was charged with the loss. He surrended 3 homeruns in his 5 innings. 'Ahhh, how sweet it is,' SHAWN's manager sighed. 'That win feels like a tall, cool drink of water after spending far too much time in the desert lately.'

Game 6-One run was the difference at PNC Park as the TRISTAN VIVAZAPASTAS defeated the SHAWN DRILLERS 6 to 5. Jean Machi(6-1) came through for TRISTAN's manager with an excellent relief stint. He gave up just 1 hit and no walks in 2 innings. SHAWN made it exciting in the 9th, but they were unable to push the needed runs across. Brad Ziegler earned the save, his 9th. Mike Minor(3-3) took the loss. He surrendered 8 hits and 1 walk in 7 and 1/3 innings.

Game 7-Yasiel Puig slammed a homerun and had 3 RBI as the SHAWN DRILLERS topped the TRISTAN VIVAZAPASTAS by a score of 8 to 5 at PNC Park. In the 7th inning SHAWN scored 4 runs when they had 4 base hits. The big moment was provided by Desmond Jennings who silenced PNC Park as he tripled bringing home two baserunners. SHAWN finished with 13 hits while TRISTAN ended up with 10. The victory went to Ivan Nova(2-1) who went 6 innings, allowing 4 runs. Joe Nathan got the save, his 10th. Brad Ziegler(1-4) was hit with the loss in relief.   

Wahoos 9, FFTs 5

The FFTs finish their season.

Extra Reserve Contest Final Results

Congratulations to the Rhinos for winning the Extra Reserve Contest. Frankly, I'm surprised the Cardinals beat the Dodgers, so I guess expecting them to also beat the Giants was a bit greedy. It will be an enjoyable World Series with San Francisco facing Kansas City, but as none of us had either team getting this far, the standings for the contest are final:

1. Rhinos - 20
2. Warpigs - 17
3. Buckeyes - 16
4. Tweeners - 14
5. FFTs - 13
6. Mavs and Zaps - 12
8. Bees, Fungoes, and Wahoos - 11
11. DVs - 10
12. Drillers and Inmates - 9
14. Goofs - 6
15. Snakes - 3
16. Nads - 0

Inmates 2, Drillers 1

Inmates take 2 out of 3 at Mudpit Pit

6/28 Fourteen innings to get to a Puig walkoff single giving Drillers a 5-4 win.

6/29 Inmates return the favor handing the drillers a 5-4 loss this time in only 9 innings.

6/30 Another game decided by one run.  Inmates take it 4-3.

Mavs and Inmates Trade

The Mavs traded Evan Gattis to the Inmates for Marcel Ozuna.

Reserve Contest Down to 3 Teams

The Cardinals knocked out Kershaw and the Dodgers just now, and before the Nats and Giants play game 4, here is an update...

We are down to 3 teams in the running. The Rhinos still lead with 20, and even though he won't score any more points, he still has a chance to win. The Pigs have 17 points. An NLCS win by St. Louis (over either SF or Wash), and the Pigs win. The Tweeners need the Nationals to come back over the Giants (which would eliminate the Rhinos) and then beat the Cards in the NLCS.

So basically, the Extra Reserve Contest comes down to the NLCS:

• St. Louis wins - Warpigs win
• Washington wins - Tweeners win
• San Francisco wins - Rhinos win

Commish, please double check my spreadsheet.

Nads and Rhinos make a deal

The Nads traded both of their reserve picks to the Rhinos for their 3rd round pick.

Contest Update

The Orioles knocked several teams out of contention for the Extra Reserve Pick. Their win over the Tigers today eliminated the Fungoes, Buckeyes, Drillers, and Zaps. With the right outcome, the Drillers could still end up in a tie for 1st with the FFTs, but would lose the tie-breaker.

The Angels' loss tonight, while extremely enjoyable, didn't change much - that is, it didn't eliminate anyone, but it hurts the FFTs and Bees a little.

There are 6 teams left in the running: the Rhinos, FFTs, Warpigs, Mavs, Tweeners, and Bees. A loss by the Nationals tomorrow, however, will knock out the Mavs, Tweeners, and Bees.

If my math or logic is wrong, I'm sure somebody will let me know.

Tweakers 8, Killer Bees 6

Tweakers manage to go 8-6 against the Bees to finish the season at 87-75.  All we can do now is scoreboard-watch and hope that it’s good enough for that last playoff spot.  Go Wahoos.
At The Hooverdome:
4/18 – Bees 3, Tweakers 1.  The NORM faithful were treated to an intriguing
pitcher's duel.  Julio Teheran(1-0) finally bested his NORM counterpart, Gio
Gonzalez(14-7), by the score of 3 to 1.

Teheran gave a fine effort for PHILIP.  He went 7 and 1/3 innings surrendering
8 hits and 2 walks.  PHILIP rapped out 7 hits for the night. 

Casey Janssen got the save, his 1st.  Gonzalez absorbed the loss.  Jason Werth homered for the Bees.  'I just
wanted to give my team a chance to win.' said Teheran, 'I got burned on a
couple of pitches. But we won the game, and that's all that matters.'

4/19 – Bees 6, Tweakers 2.  Omar Infante had 4 hits and 3 RBI as the PHILIP Killer Bees defeated the NORM
TWEAKERS 6 to 2.

Infante provided the offensive punch.  He stroked a single in the 3rd inning,
tripled bringing in a run in the 5th inning, slapped a one-base hit in the
6th inning and popped a two-run clout over the fence in the 8th inning.  Andrelton Simmons also homered for the visitors. 
Overall PHILIP out-hit NORM 15 to 6. 

The winning pitcher was Ubaldo Jimenez(1-0) who allowed 2 runs in 5 and 2/3
innings. Joel Peralta preserved the game for Jimenez, recording his his 1st
save.  Shelby Miller(9-10) took the loss.  He allowed 10 hits and 2 walks in
5 and 2/3 innings.

4/20 – Tweakers 3, Bees 0.  In a game for the baseball purist, Hisashi Iwakuma(11-12) and Tim
Lincecum(0-1) squared off in a tense pitching duel, NORM TWEAKERS finally
emerged victorious over PHILIP Killer Bees, 3 to 0.

Iwakuma was solid in the win.  He was stingy on the mound, allowing just 3
hits and 2 walks in 7 and 2/3 innings.  Sergio Romo earned the save with a
perfect ninth, his 2nd save.

4/21 – Bees 2, Tweakers 0.  Ervin Santana had an impressive outing as the PHILIP Killer Bees beat the NORM
TWEAKERS by a score of 2 to 0.

PHILIP took the lead for good in the 2nd inning scoring a single run.  That
early scoring was all that Santana(1-0) needed.  Daniel Nava completed the scoring with a solo homer.  PHILIP finished with just 6
hits in the victory. 

Santana got help from Casey Janssen who earned his 2nd save.  The hard-luck loss was
charged to Felix Hernandez(9-12).  He was stingy with the baserunners,
allowing just 4 hits and no walks in 7 innings.
At the Bees Nest:

5/30 – Tweakers 6, Bees 4.  In a thriller the NORM TWEAKERS staged a dramatic comeback then held on to win
over the PHILIP Killer Bees by a score of 6 to 4 at Bee's Nest.

NORM had the game winning rally in the top of the 9th inning plating 3 runs on
3 base hits.  Adam Lind started the inning off right when he stroked a
one-base hit.  Nelson Cruz followed next and he drew a walk.  Pablo Sandoval
then slapped a base-hit.  Ryan Howard followed, but he was set down on
strikes.  Will Venable was next to the plate, but was promptly struck out.
Yan Gomes contributed to the rally and doubled.  A wild and woolly affair,
this game saw the lead change 5 times. 

The victory was credited to Sonny Gray(3-4) who went 2 and 2/3 innings,
allowing no runs. Casey Janssen(0-1) was tagged with the loss in relief.  Home runs were walloped by Byrd, Swisher, and Simmons.

George Brett was very happy after the game, 'It's great to come back and win
it in your last at bats! Our guys just wouldn't give up.  And did you see the
fans - one minute they're laughing and screaming down all sorts of
unprintable stuff at our guys - the next minute - SILENCE! Yes sir, a very
enjoyable win tonight!'

5/31 – Tweakers 4, Bees 1.  Felix Hernandez allowed just 2 hits at Bee's Nest where the NORM TWEAKERS beat
the PHILIP Killer Bees 4 to 1.

NORM brought 2 runs across the plate in the top of the 5th inning when they
came up with 3 base hits.  Chris Carter led off and he drew a walk.  Will
Venable stepped into the batter's box and he doubled.  Zack Cozart was next
to bat, but he was a strikeout victim.  Shane Victorino was up next and he
lined a base-hit.  After another out, Marlon Byrd stepped up to the plate and
he slapped a single.  NORM finished with 9 hits in the victory.

Hernandez(10-12) picked up the complete game victory, allowing 1 run. Cliff
Lee(0-1) was charged with the loss.  He allowed 7 hits and 1 walk in 6
innings. 

6/1 – Bees 11, Tweakers 5.  Despite 2 home runs each for Adam Lind and Pablo Sandoval, Julio Teheran completed the game without help from the bullpen at Bee's Nest
where the PHILIP Killer Bees beat the NORM TWEAKERS by the score of 11 to
5.

Edwin Encarnacion enjoyed a big day at the plate.  He doubled which plated a
run in the 1st inning, tripled bringing in a run in the 6th inning and
launched a Grand Slam homerun in the 7th inning.  Swisher also homered for the victors.  PHILIP banged out 14 hits
on the afternoon. 

The win went to Teheran(2-0) who allowed 5 runs in the game. Madison
Bumgarner(10-12) was charged with the loss.  He was not very effective,
surrendering 6 runs in 5 and 1/3 innings. 

'They made a couple of mistakes and I took full advantage,' Encarnacion said
'next time I'm sure they'll pitch me tougher.'

Back to The Hooverdome:

7/11 – Tweakers 7, Bees 6.  In a thrilling finish the NORM TWEAKERS pulled off the win over the PHILIP
Killer Bees by a score of 7 to 6 at Great American Bpk.

The game was won by NORM with a run in the bottom of the 9th inning.  Shane
Victorino doubled.  Jose Iglesias was next and he ripped a one-base hit (actually, that’s a lie; he was called on to sacrifice and beat it out).  Ben
Zobrist then ripped a base-knock (on a flyB with the outfield in) resulting in an exciting win for NORM and a
raucous post-game celebration by the home town fans.  NORM out-hit PHILIP for
the game, 15 hits to 6.  Both teams forgot they were no longer in the cozy Bees Nest as taters were clubbed by Victorino, Howard, Crisp, Freeman, and, of course, Babe Simmons.

Luis Avilan(7-4) went 2 innings allowing no runs for the victory. Yoervis
Medina(0-1) ended up with the loss in relief.  He pitched 1/3 of an inning
and surrendered 1 hit and no walks.

7/12 – Tweakers 2, Bees 1 (10 innings).  The score was knotted at 1 after nine innings.  NORM ended up winning it in
the 10th inning.  Shane Victorino doubled.  Jose Iglesias next to the plate
and he laid down a sacrifice bunt. Stop me if you’ve heard this before. Ben Zobrist then laced a base-hit making
NORM the victors to the delight of the home town faithful.  NORM managed 10
hits in their victory.

The victory went to Sonny Gray(4-4) who went 1 inning, allowing no runs. Nick
Vincent(0-1) was given the loss in relief.  He allowed 2 hits and no walks in
2/3 of an inning.

7/13 – Tweakers 2, Bees 0.  Gio Gonzalez(15-7) and Tim Lincecum(0-2) locked horns in a pitcher's duel with
Gonzalez and the NORM TWEAKERS coming out on top of the PHILIP Killer Bees 2
to 0.

NORM drew first blood jumping out to an early lead in the first inning plating
an isolated run.  That early run support was all that Gonzalez required.
Both teams' bats went to sleep after the 3rd inning with no runs scored after
that point. 

Gonzalez got help from 4 relievers, lastly Sonny Gray who earned his 19th save.

Then the season-ending set at the Bees Nest with expanded rosters:

9/11 – Bees 5, Tweakers 2 (14 innings).  The game was deadlocked at 2 after nine full innings.  PHILIP won the hard
fought contest in the 14th inning.  Daniel Nava led off and got things going
when he drew a walk.  Soriano stepped into the batter's box and he slapped a
single.  Carlos Santana then lost the ball over the fence for three runs
giving PHILIP the victory and sending the 47,807 home-town fans home happy.
Both teams finished the game with 9 hits. 

The win was credited to Janssen(1-1) who went 4 and 1/3 innings allowing no
runs. The losing pitcher was Drew Smyly(5-9) in relief.

9/12 – Bees 6, Tweakers 4.  Chris Denorfia smacked 2 homeruns and had 6 RBI at Bee's Nest where the PHILIP
Killer Bees beat the NORM TWEAKERS 6 to 4.

Denorfia punished NORM with his bat.  He lost the ball over the fence for
three runs in the 1st inning and clubbed a three-run home run in the 5th
inning.  PHILIP finished with just 6 hits in the victory.  Victorino and Howard went yard for the losers.

The win was credited to Julio Teheran(3-0) who went 6 and 2/3 innings allowing
4 runs. Casey Janssen earned the save, his 3rd.  Madison Bumgarner(10-13) was
the loser.  He allowed 6 hits and 4 walks in 6 innings.

9/13 – Tweakers 4, Bees 3.  In a great finish the NORM TWEAKERS came back in the top of the ninth and held
on to win over the PHILIP Killer Bees by a score of 4 to 3 at Bee's
Nest.

NORM came through with the game-winning runs in the top of the 9th inning when
they tallied 4 runs on 5 hits.  PHILIP was out-hit by NORM, 7 hits to 4.

Sergio Romo(3-0) got credit for the victory, pitching 1/3 of an inning and
allowing no runs. Sonny Gray got the save, his 20th.  Casey Janssen(1-2) was
the loser in relief. 

'George Brett was ecstatic following the game, 'You love stealing one on the
road like this.  We just kept plugging away until we pulled it out!  If we end up making the playoffs by one game, this will be the one we look back on.'

9/14 – Tweakers 14, Bees 5.  Shane Victorino launched 2 homeruns and had 4 RBI as the NORM TWEAKERS topped
the PHILIP Killer Bees by a score of 14 to 5 at Bee's Nest.

Victorino was a source of great heartache for the PHILIP faithful all day.  He
just kept pounding out hits! He blasted a two-run home run in the 2nd inning,
lofted a solo-blast 'downtown' in the 6th inning and tripled which brought
home a run in the 9th inning.  Offensively, NORM was a juggernaut.  They
scored in 6 separate innings. 

The winning pitcher was Gio Gonzalez(16-7) who allowed 5 runs in 6 and 2/3
innings. Tim Lincecum(0-3) ended up with the loss.  He was hit hard and gave
up 8 hits and 2 walks in 3 and 2/3 innings. 

'It's just about getting in a good hitting position and just going out there
and being prepared,' Victorino said. 'You try to hit in your own capacity and
not do too much. I just try to have a good approach, day after day, game by
game, and pitch by pitch.'

 

Inmates 3, Goofs 2

All games at the Baptist Bowl (the Goofs made the journey) but via computer.

 

Inmates 9 – Goofs 7 (Baptist Bowl): Very ugly see-saw game. Jones hit a game-winning groundout (!) in the 8^th for the win. Pierzynski, Drew and Jones all tater for the Inmates.

 

Inmates 1 – Goofs 0 (Baptist Bowl): Both teams manage only four hits, but faulty Goof defense allows the only run of the game to score when Beltre reached on an error by Phillips, and later scored on a sac fly by Marte. Griffin is robbed of a pitching gem.

 

Inmates 4 – Goofs 2 (Goofy Dome): Another see-saw game, and another great pitching performance by Griffin. Parra’s 8^th-inning single plates the winning run for the Inmates.

 

Goofs 10 – Inmates 1 (Goofy Dome): A butt-ugly game. Jones (CF 1(e2)) commits his 5^th error of the year (fuck you, HAL); Brandon Phillips hits a grand slam, Marte steals 2^nd and 3^rd, only to be wiped out in a 7-2 DP, and the LDMF showed up at an inopportune time.

 

Goofs 2 – Inmates 1 (Goofy Dome): Straily allows a 2-run tater off his card, and Segura hits into a 6-4-3 DP with the bases loaded and one out in the 9^th. Shitfuck. The 2-8 roll would have resulted in a successful suicide squeeze to tie the game. Fuckshit.

 

The HEAD INMATE

Buckeyes 7, Mavs 7

Buckeyes and Mavs finish up their regular seasons going 7-7.

Game 1 Mavs 12 Buckeyes 8

Game 2 Mavs 10 Buckeyes 5

Game 3 Mavs 3 Buckeyes 1

Game 4 Buckeyes 5 Mavs 2

Game 5 Buckeyes 5 Mavs 3

Game 6 Mavs 9 Buckeyes 6

Game 7 Buckeyes 7 Mavs 3

Game 8 Buckeyes 4 Mavs 3

Game 9 Mavs 15 Buckeyes 8

Game 10 Mavs 4 Buckeyes 2

Game 11 Buckeyes 10 Mavs 8

Game 12 Buckeyes 5 Mavs 4

Game 13 Buckeyes 3 Mavs 0

Game 14 Mavs 6 Buckeyes 5

Pigs and Rhinos trade

The Rhinos traded Troy Tulowitzki to the Warpigs for Starlin Castro and the Pig reserve picks in 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

Pig in Australia Steals 18 Beers from Campers, Gets Drunk, Fights Cow

[2014 Gadling/Anna Brones]

Forget crocodiles and snakes, the real animal threat in Australia is wild pigs. At least if you’re camping.

At a campground in Western Australia over the weekend, a feral pig guzzled down 18 beers that had been left out improperly secured. And just like anyone 18 beers in at a rural dive bar, the pig got big-headed and decided to start a fight with a cow, resulting in the cow chasing the pig around a car.

“In the middle of the night these people camping opposite us heard a noise, so they got their torch out and shone it on the pig and there he was, scrunching away at their cans,” said a visitor.

The pig was later reported sleeping his hangover (and shame of trying to take down a cow?) off under a tree.

Extra Reserve Pick Contest Update

They said there'd be no math...

The leaders after the Wild Card games:

1. Rhinos (16 points, 10 possible remaining points)
2. FFTs (13, 28)
3. Warpigs (13, 22)
4. Buckeyes (12, 28)
5. Mavs (12, 26)
6. Bees (11, 32)
7. Tweeners (10, 26)
8. Drillers (9, 32)
9. Zaps (8, 28)
10. Fungoes (7, 28)

As far as I can figure with my South Grand Prairie High School math, the Wahoos, DVs, Inmates, Snakes, and Goofs have been eliminated.

Many of us had the Dodgers and Cardinals both winning in the NLDS, but they play each other. So while we are guaranteed 4 points, we can't get 8.

A couple of other thinks that I think I think...

• If Washington wins their series over the Giants, the Buckeyes and Rhinos are eliminated.
• If Washington loses their series to the Giants, the Bees and Tweeners are out.
• If Detroit loses to Baltimore, the Buckeyes, Drillers, Zaps and Fungoes are out.
• If the Dodgers beat the Cardinals, the Zaps and Pigs are both out.
• If the Dodgers lose to the Cardinals, all hell breaks loose.

Stay tuned!