Bees 3, Nads 2

BEES go 3-2 at NADS

Game 1 – The Bees score 5 in the top of the 9^th to win 7-6. Encarnacion hit two dingers

Game 2 – Bees win 10-6 Swarzak and Albers give up 8 runs in last three innings

Game 3 – Nads win pitching duel between Tillman and Ubaldo Jimenez 2-1

Game 4 – Another pitching duel – tied 1-1 until the Bees scored twice and the Nads went down 1,2,3 in the bottom of the 13^th inning

Game 5 – Arcia hit an 8^th inning dinger for the winning run – NADS win 5-4

Bees 3, Rhinos 2 (again)

18 Jul – Rhinos 4 – Bees 3

Rhinos Win

First baseman Joey Votto had 3 base hits and Randall Delgado tossed a complete game as the Rhinos defeated the Bees 4 to 3 in Rhino Land.

 

19 Jul – Rhinos 5 – Bees 1

Rhinos Win

Zach McAllister hurled a 3 hitter as the Rhinos defeated the Bees by the score of 5 to 1 at Rhino Land.  McAllister was tremendous on the mound for Rhinos.  He gave up just 3 hits and 1 walk in 9 innings.

 

20 Jul – Bees 2 – Rhinos 0

Bees Win

Neither pitching staff had allowed a run after the regulation nine innings. The Bees were victorious in the 10th inning.  After an out was recorded, Omar Infante began the rally when he singled.  Werth came next and he blasted a two-run home run.

 

25 April –Bees 10 – Rhinos 7

Bees Win

Jayson Werth smacked a grand slam as the Bees staged a dramatic comeback over the Rhinos by a score of 10 to 7 at Rhino Land.

 

26 Apr – Bees 5 – Rhinos 1

Bees win

Ervin Santana had a strong outing and Freddie Freeman had 3 base hits at Rhino Land as the Bees beat the Rhinos 5 to 1.

Nads 5, Rhinos 2

Rhinos go 2-5 at Nads -  All games played Quick play during a rehearsal -

Game 1 - Tied game (2-2) until bottom of 9^th. Bases loaded squeeze play by Legares for the win.

Game 2 – Fister and Collmenter combine to shut out the Rhinos 4-0

Game 3 – Nads scored 3 in the bottom of the first to give Tillman enough support to pitch a complete game win 8 -2

Game 4 – Nads scored 2 in the first – never looked back as they got a 4-2 win over the Rhinos

Game 5 – Rhinos win 5-2 as Garza struck out 11 Nads

Game 6 – Tied 2-2 after 9 innings. Frazier won the game for the Nads with an RBI single

Game 7 – Rhinos finally woke up as they scored 12 runs for the win 12-7. Sabathia pitched a complete game for the win

Bees 5, Nads 0; Bees 3, Rhinos 2

The Beeboy played some games. Game stories to come.

Yeah, right. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Extra Reserve Pick Update

With the MLB division champions and Wild Card teams set, here's an update of our standings in the race for the extra reserve pick.

1. Killer Bees (11 points so far - 32 possible points remaining)
2. Tweeners (10 - 39)
2. FFTs (10 - 35)
2. Warpigs (10 - 32)
2. Rhinos (10 - 20)
6. Buckeyes (9 - 39)
6. Drillers (9 - 32)
6. Mavs (9 - 29)
9. Zaps (8 - 39)
10. Fungoes (7 - 35)
10. Wahoos (7 - 32)
12. DVs (6 - 32)
13. Inmates (5 - 32)
14. Sidewinders (3 - 18)
15. SuperGoofs (2 - 3)

The order for a possible tie-breaker:
1. FFTs and DVs both missed by 3
3. Bees missed by 10
4. Drillers 13
5. Mavs and Inmates 15
7. Wahoos 29
8. Tweeners 31
9. Buckeyes and Fungoes 34
11. Warpigs 36
12. Zaps 44
13. Rhinos 62
14. Sidewinders 73
15. Goofs 124

The tie-breakers question was the number of strikeouts Masahiro Tanaka would get. He got 141.

Rhinos 3, Sidewinders 2

Snakes go 2-3 vs Rhinos at home.

Inmates 4, Mavs 1

You took four out of five here.  Kind of strange actually.  You outscored me by seven in the ten games but won nine of them.

A special Inmate commentary tonight for the five game series at the Rastadome between the Inmates and the Mavs.  Hide the women and children, find a cat to kiss and holy shit let’s get going.

5/15:  Not only a great song by the Who but the date for game one of the long awaited final set of games against Hal.  Quintana takes the hill against Jeremy Guthrie who looks around at the at bat hampered lineup and says to his catcher Evan Gattis “it’s a good thing I don’t do this sober”.  Both starters suck early on and we can tell that the Inmates enjoy that more.  Segura lets a two out X roll through (we got a 1 per Hal) with the bases loaded and the Inmates are heard to holler “Fuck me”.  But Brandon Barnes fails to roll the ball park grand salami.  3-2 through 2 and the beakless chicken is already drunk.  Hal steals third 1-13 in the fourth with runners on first and second and one out.  We question whether manager Steve would have done the same but Hal knows all and Parra follows the steal with a fly ball B.  Tie game.  Steven Drew follows with the fifth 5-7 hit of the game so far and the Inmates take the lead.  But the Mavs follow up in the bottom of the fourth with an Elvis walk and Upton 2-8 tater.  These two pitchers truly stink and if we still used points they’d be long gone.  Thankfully we don’t or Guthrie would only have 40 innings pitched.  On to the fifth with the Mavs winning 5-4.  Can Guthrie get through the inning and maybe have a shot at a win?  Yes!  Clean living pays off as the Inmates call their entire lineup a bunch of limp dicks.  The Mavs go to Holland in the sixth because Hal never does and he has a lot of innings left.  Dustin Ackley (2e4) lets two straight X chart hits through.  Headley 2e13 makes his second error of the game.  Hal hates my infield.  Bases loaded one out and CarGo and Beltre coming up.  1-8 CarGo grand slam.  And Hal tells me Greg Holland is tired.  No wonder Hal never pitches him.  Barnes hits the ball park homer with no one on to get us within two but it ends there.  CarGo’s grand slam earns him the Betty’s Brothel Blow of the Game.  8-6 Inmates.

5/16:  Straily against Sorry Ass Homer Allowed Bailey (SAHAB).  Hal claims it a beautiful day for a ballgame but he always does.  In the top of the first with two outs Hal has CarGo steal third.  Once again we question whether manager Steve would do that but Hal knows all and Beltre follows with a one star single plating the first run of the game.  Hal is a communist fag but what can you do?  Then just because I called him a commie fag, Chris Davis rolls a 20 on a  homer 1-19 with two on.  Hal is a cross dressing commie fag.  Properly chastised Hal gives a Mavs a bevy of cheap hits in the bottom of the first.  Straily is chased and A. J. Ramos comes in with the Inmates down 6-1 with one out in the first.  The Inmates are heard to exclaim “Shitfuck” and having seen their magazine collection in the 90’s, this is not taken as an idle threat.  The game just moves along from there.  The Mavs win 8-1 and SAHAB now mathematically cannot lose 20 games.  That earns him the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game.  Notably here in game seven, the Mavs finally win a game against the Inmates.  And not a moment to soon as the Mavs GM slips the revolver back into the drawer.

8/8:  The Inmates match Jarrod Parker with Fort Worth’s Yovanni Gallardo or as the Inmates might call him Innavoy Odrallag.  Sadly Kolten Wong remains in the minors for this series too as I’m sure many NASOMA managers were wondering what the Inmates would do with an active Wong.  CarGo hits two more 1-8 homers.  Parker shuts the Mavs down and in a truly boring game the Inmates win 4-1.  CarGo wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game.  In a side note, Kendrick (2e14) makes an error and lets an X go through to help the Inmates score their other runs.  Hal is a cross dressing crack whore commie fag.

8/9:  Guthrie faces Chacin.  A game like this should draw the pitcher’s parents and that is about it.  The beakless chicken is a no show as he is passed out in Betty’s Brothel at game time.  The Inmates squander a lot of opportunities but lead 3-2 heading to the bottom of the ninth largely because they hit the ball park taters that Upton missed.  Hal brings in Inmate closer Jason Grilli for the bottom of the ninth.  Upton rolls a 3-12 line out max.  Soto up next.  Grilli whiffs him.  The Mavs pinch hit at bat challenged Jason Heyward hoping a big fly off Grilli (4-9).  6-6 whiff.  The Mavs lose their eighth out of nine against the Inmates 3-2.  Shitfuck.  The offensive stars were Rizzo and Drew who both nailed ball park taters (1-7). But Chacin wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game.

8/10:  Stults against SAHAB.  CarGo rolls his fourth 1-8 homer of the five game series.  When will this end?  Adam Jones hits another ball park homer.  When will this end?  Meanwhile Chris Davis hits two more homers and we’re tied 3-3 at the end of four.  The Inmates scratch a run in the sixth as Ackley fails to get to another X chart.  Commie fag crack whore Hal strikes again.  The Mavs make a thousand moves in the eighth and none of them work.  We leave two more runners on base.  Jim Henderson is on the mound in the bottom of the ninth as the Inmates burned through their bullpen in the eighth.  Both teams are about out of moves.  Soto whiffs on a 1-6 (batter gets his pitch but misses it).  Gattis rolls a 1-8 ground out.  But Cornbread Maxwell rolls a 4-9 walk.  Surprisingly Hal brings in yet another reliever A. J. Ramos to face Chase Headley.  Maxwell misses the steal sign.  So it is up to Headley Lamar.  3-7 whiff.  The Inmates win 4-3.  Adam Jones wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game going three for four with three RBI’s

Sidewinders 4, Zaps 1

The Zaps took game one and it was all downhill after that. The Snakes
bats simply blew up Cole Hamels in two different games and shelled  Zak
Geinke to boot on the way to taking 4 of 5 from the home team.

Inmates and FFTs Trade

The Inmates traded A.J. Pierzynski to the FFTs for Nick Tepesch.

Nads and FFTs Trade

The FFTs move Miguel Gonzalez to the Nads for Marco Estrada.

Tweeners and FFTs Trade

The Tweeners traded their 5th round pick to the FFTs for Michael Bourn.

Buckeyes and FFTs Trade

The Buckeyes traded Miguel Gonzalez to the FFTs for Jeremy Hellickson.

Sidewinders and FFTs Trade

The Sidewinders traded Jake Peavy and the Buckeye 6th to the FFTs for the Buckeye 3rd.

FFTs and Warpigs Trade

Tim Lincecum didn't even get off the train as it rolled thru Hooterville. He was dealt to the FFTs for their 5th round pick.

Later, the Pigs sent Cody Ross to the FFTs for Domonic Brown.

Pigs and Bees Trade

And the trades just keep on comin'!

The Killer Bees send Tim Lincecum and Anthony Varvaro to the Warpigs for their 2016 4th.

Bees and Snakes Trade

The Bees traded Nick Vincent and Juan Uribe to the Sidewinders for their 2016 3rd round pick.

Bees and Goofs Trade

The Bees traded their first round pick to the Goofs for Alex Wood and a reserve.

Sidewinders 4, Nads 1

The Sidewinders clinch the AWD.

4/25   Ross wins in relief of Moore who did not make it through the 5th. SSWs 7 Nads 3

4/26 SSWs 4 Nads 1 Sale beats Chen, Kimbrel with the save

 

7/18   Nads 3 SSWs 2 Chen beats Big Bart and the ageless LaTroy Hawkins gets the save. The hitting star was Montero who drove in all 3 runs.

 

7/19  SSWs 7  Nads 4 Nads hit 4 solo HR off Lester

7/20   A Peralta RBI double in the 8th makes a winner of Miller in relief. Kimbrel with the save. SSWs win 2-1

Pigs and DVs Trade

The DVs traded Justin Morneau and Aramis Ramirez to the Warpigs for Albert Pujols and Evan Longoria.

Zaps and Nads Trade

The Zaps traded Carl Crawford and a 4th to the Nads for Steve Pearce.

Inmates and Buckeyes Trade

The Buckeyes traded Wellington Castillo and Scott Feldman to the Inmates for Gerardo Parra.

Drillers and Bees Make a Deal

The Drillers traded Mike Minor and a reserve to the Killer Bees for Ian Kennedy.

Snakes and Buckeyes Deal

The Buckeyes traded David Ortiz, Justin Ruggiano, and a 6th to the Sidewinders for Kevin Gausman and Trevor Bauer.

ARENcibia

For the last few years, the Ranger's batboy (ballboy?) is Tim. Tim was a high school friend of my daughter, Aren. (So yes, Tim is older than Elvis and Rougned and a few other players). Aren, who is a big baseball fan, was at last night's game, and Tim covered up part of J.P. Arencibia's name for Aren to take this picture.

Warpigs and Wahoos Trade

The Wahoos traded Victor Martinez and Darren O'Day to the Warpigs for Edwin Encarnacion, Rafael Soriano, Austin Jackson, Alejandro DeAza, the Pig 2nd round pick, the Pig 2016 1st, and the Pig 2017 1st.

DVs 3, Rhinos 2

Games were played via NetPlay. The 3-2 by the DVs means they are tied with the Warpigs for the BUD. Both teams have 10 games to play... and they are head to head. Should be fun.

First 2 at Rhino Safari Land –

Game 1 = Gomez hits a grand slam off of Ryan Cook (who was just brought in from the bullpen) as the Rhinos grab a 4-3 win

Game 2 = Cano hits a 3 run home run in the 7^th and Zac McAllister stymies the DVs on 4 hits in a 4-0 shutout.

Last 3 in DVs cozy confines

Game 3 = Cahill gets shelled as DVs win 8-2

Game 4 = DelGado gets shelled as DVs win 10-3

Game 5 = Jacob Turner gets shelled as DVs win 9-2

Inmates 5, Mavs 0

All games via CM at the Baptist Bowl:

 

INMATES 6 – MAVS 5: A hitters’ duel. Of the Mavs ten hits, seven were for extra bases. Pierzynski hit two HRs for the Inmates, the last in the 6^th inning being the game-winner. Drew and Jones also tatered for the EDMF (figure it out).

 

INMATES 3 – MAVS 0: Except for a Jones 2B, every hit in the game was a single. Mavs can’t solve Quintana, and the Inmates steal five bases.

 

INMATES 8 – MAVS 7 (10 innings): Mavs blast four homers, including a grand slam by Upton. Headleys HR in the 7^th tied the game and eventually sent it into extra innings. A Rizzo single in the 10^th with two on was the game-winner for the Inmates.

 

INMATES 2 – MAVS 1: A Beltre 2-run HR in the 1^st was all the scoring the LDMF could muster, but the Mavs could score only one time in the 9^th.

 

INMATES 3 – MAVS 2: Once again the Mavs can’t solve Quintana, until the 9^th, when they managed to tie the score at 2. Rizzo led off the bottom of the 9^th with a solo homer off of Doolittle to end the game in walk-off fashion.

 

The HEAD INMATE

Posting Comments

I have no problem with any of you posting comments, but there are some of guidelines...

1. Don't be anonymous. Own up to your comments. An occasional comment will come from a fictitious name (or from a MLB player's name or something like that), which is fine as long as the comment isn't incendiary.

2. Don't call any of us by our real name. Pigman is fine. Beeboy... Snakeman... The HEAD INMATE... and so on. But not our real names, please. I don't think I have violated this in the past, and if I have, I apologize.

3. And while we often write stuff on here that is rude, crude, and unacceptable, I will delete any racist comments. Ditto anything political. This is not the forum for that.

Game Files - Team Codes

A typical game file looks like this: 2014NA2A.H06

The two numbers/letters right after the 2014NA stand for the two teams involved. If you ever find yourself trying to figure out which game files go with which team (like Colonel Rhino and I did tonight), here's a reference guide:

0 - Buckeyes
1 - SuperGoofs
2 - Rhinos
3 - Killer Bees
4 - Warpigs
5 - Drillers
6 - Inmates
7 - Mavs
8 - FFTs
9 - Zaps
A - Sidewinders
B - DVs
C - Nads
D - Fungoes
E - Wahoos
F - Tweeners

Beeboy at the Ballpark

Rhinos 5, Nads 2

The Rhinos go 5 - 2 at home vs the Nads.

One of the greatest trades in NASOMA history...

While at the Ballpark watching the Rangers and the Mariners, the Mavs traded Chase Headley to the Buckeyes for R.A. Dickey.

That's right...

The Mavs got Dick.
The Buckeyes got Head.

DVs 5, Wahoos 2

Wahoos have terrible luck as very few rolls go their way while DVs play one of their best series of the year.

Games 1-4 at DV Park:

1 = DVs win 6-2 as Ramos’ homer off Verlander gets the offense going

2 = Identical 6-2 score as Wahoos avoid a shutout with a 2 run Aoki pinch HR in the 9^th. Holliday homers twice for the DVs

3 = 9-1 DVs as Latos cruises and Gee gets crushed

4 = Lance Lynn puts in a great outing and DVs roll 7-3

Games 5-7 at Wahoos reservation with expanded rosters

5 = Wahoos have terrible luck as a 50+% squeeze play in the bottom of the 9^th goes awry – but DVs over-manage their bullpen and give up a 3 run walk off homer to Kris Davis in the 10^th as the Wahoos win 6-3

6 = DVs rely on seldom used call-up Matt Davidson to hit a pinch hit home run in the top of the 9^th for a 6-5 win. Porcello comes on as the last reliever to strike out Davis in the bottom of the 9^th with the based loaded

7 = Wahoos get a CG from Zimmerman in a 3-2 win.

Sidewinders 4, SuperGoofs 3

Snakes take 4 of 7 at Goofs.

Game 1 SSW 10 Goofs 0

Game 2 Goofs 8 SSW 5

Game 3 Goofs 6 SSW 1

Game 4 SSW 5 Goofs 1

Game 5 SSW 8 Goofs 0

Game 6 Goofs 2 SSW 1

Game 7 SSW 8 Goofs 4

DVs 3, Inmates 2

All games via netplay at the Baptist Bowl:

 

Inmates 2 – DVs 1: Great pitching, with the LDMF showing up but winning because the DVs minor league offense, the Dweezil Dicks, had even less hitting acumen than the little league Chicklettes. Chacin still gives up a tater (to Morneau), however, to keep up his reputation as a BP whore.

 

DVs 7 – LDMF 2: Stults inhales vociferously, and the LDMF can’t solve any part of the DV staff except Clippard (go figure…). The first DV victory of the year against the Inmates.

 

DVs 2 – LDMF 1: A DV 2-spot in the 8^th holds up for the win against the Dickless Motherfuckers. LDMF manage to get runners to 3^rd base with no outs twice, but cannot score. In the last of the 9^th the LDMF loaded the bases with one out, to manage only one run on a Pinto pinch single (1 fucking *).

 

DVs 7 – LDMF 1: DVs get six runs off of Salazar in the first three innings, including HRs by Holliday and Stanton, to crush the LDMF. Of interest: the Inmates got 8 hits, one by each starter except for Pierzynski. All are singles except for a Rizzo HR in the 8^th that helped avoid the ignominy of being shut out by Alexi Ogando.

 

Inmates 11 – DVs 2: Stanton’s two solo homers are all the DV offense. The LDMF goes home after the 3^rd inning and the Inmates blast the DV staff for 14 hits to salvage a Tweener Tweaker split.

 

The HEAD INMATE

Another 3-team deal

In a 3-team trade, the Buckeyes acquire Brandon Crawford and Brandon Belt from the Warpigs; the Warpigs acquired Pedro Strop from the Goofs; and the Goofs acquired Koji Uehara and David DeJesus from the Buckeyes.

Three Team Deal (Sort of)

The FFTs, Buckeyes, and SuperGoofs completed a 3-way today. It wasn't really, but you can't reason with these guys. Here's the "Who Went Where":

The Buckeyes get Jason Castro, Taijuan Walker, and Michael Choice.

The FFTs get Pedro Alvarez, Junichi Tazawa, and Justin Smoak.

The Goofs get Michael Cuddyer, Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Darin Ruf, Aaron Hill, and David Freese.

State of the Union

As we wind down the 2014 regular season, here's where we stand...

The Fungoes have clinched the HWD. They have a 6 game lead over the Sidewinders for the #1 seed. Their magic number to clinch the #1 seed is 11, but they only have 5 games left and will need the Snakes to lose a few down the stretch. Either way, unless the Zaps finish the year going 27-0, the Fungoes will have a first round bye. The Inmates are in 3rd place in the Wild Card standings, but they are 5.5 games out of that race, and 3rd place in the Wild Card standings just means you get a bad draft pick.

The Sidewinders have almost clinched the AWD. They have a 14.5 game lead over the Tweakers, and their magic number to clinch is down to 7. Technically, their magic number to beat the Bees is 10, but the Bees are 24 games out, so they're pretty much out of the running for the division. The Tweakers have put themselves in a good position for a Wild Card spot and a first round match up with the MFD winner.

The Zaps and Buckeyes are in a tight race for the MFD. The Zaps hold a 1.5 game lead. The team that finishes 2nd will be a wild card and could very well be the 5th seed. The Zaps are 10 games behind the Snakes for the #2 seed and a first round bye.

The Warpigs lead the DVs by 2.5 and the Wahoos by 4. There are still plenty of games left between the 3 teams before a BUD champion can be crowned. The runner up in the BUD will not be a wild card team.

In the Wild Card standings, the Buckeyes have a 3 game lead over the Tweakers, who have a 5.5 game lead over the Inmates.

With the Snakes, Zaps, and Tweakers all headed toward the post season, this could be an expensive postseason. Get your checkbooks out.

I haven't confirmed this with WTF brass, but I assume they will host the playoffs. That way they won't have to drive home after their Champagne celebration.

As for games remaining, here's the rundown...

WP (10gms left) 10 vs DVs
DV (27) 10 vs WP; 7 vs WH; 5 vs INM; 5 vs RHI
WH (42) 14 vs FFT; 10 vs INM; 7 vs DV; 7 vs NAD; 4 vs RHI
FFT (14) 14 vs WH

FUN (5) 5 vs ZAP
INM (33) 10 vs MAV; 10 vs WH; 5 vs DV; 5 vs SPG; 3 vs OUD
NAD (46) 14 vs RHI; 10 vs KB; 10 vs SSW; 7 vs WH; 5 vs ZAP
RHI (38) 14 vs NAD; 10 vs KB; 5 vs DV; 5 vs SSW; 4 vs WH

ZAP (27) 7 vs OUD; 5 vs NAD; 5 vs FUN; 5 vs SSW; 5 vs KB
GPB (14) 14 vs MAV
OUD (10) 7 vs ZAP; 3 vs INM
MAV (24) 14 vs GPB; 10 vs INM

SSW (27) 10 vs NAD; 7 vs SPG; 5 vs RHI; 5 vs ZAP
LCT (14) 14 vs KB
KB (39) 14 vs LCT; 10 vs NAD; 10 vs RHI; 5 vs ZAP
SPG (12) 7 vs SSW; 5 vs INM

Drillers 3, Goofs 2

Drillers take 3 of 5 at Goofs

Game 1 Drillers 12 Goofs 5

Game 2 Goofs 5 Drillers 2

Game 3 Goofs 5 Drillers 2

Game 4 Drillers 2 Goofs 1

Game 5 Drillers 3 Goofs 0

Goofs 4, Tweakers 3

Goofs go 4-3 at home versus Tweekers

Game 1 Goofs 5 Tweekers 2

Game 2 Tweekers 9 Goofs 2

Game 3 Goofs 4 Tweekers 2

Game 4 Tweekers 3 Goofs 0

Game 5 Tweekers 2 Goofs 1

Game 6 Goofs 5 Tweekers 0

Game 7 Goofs 2 Tweekers 1

Goofs 3, Fungoes 2

Goofs take 3 of 5 at home against Fungoes

Game 1 Goofs 6 Fungoes 4

Game 2 Goofs 4 Fungoes 2

Game 3 Goofs 5 Fungoes 1

Game 4 Fungoes 7 Goofs 2

Game 5 Fungoes 5 Goofs 3 

Nads 4, Inmates 3

Inmates return the favor and go 3-4 at the Baptist Bowl.

 

INMATES 4 – NADS 0: Nads get all of 3 hits. Not much else happens.

 

INMATES 1 – NADS 0 (10 innings): Neither team can hit. Estrada and Salazar lock into a great pitching duel. A two-out Parra 2B in the 10^th scored Segura with the winning run.

 

NADS 4 – INMATES 2: Rizzo and Sanchez tater for the LDMF, but a 3-run Nad 6^th seals the game.

 

NADS 2 – INMATES 1: Another no-score fest. A 2-run AGon HR is all the Nads needed.

 

INMATES 8 – NADS 6: The offense finally wakes up for both teams, with each hitting three homers. Beltre’s 2-run 8^th inning shot was the game-winner.

 

NADS 9 – INMATES 4: Stults sucks big-time, and Pinto commited a bases-loaded error which cleared the bases. Tillman pitches a CG for the win.

 

NADS 2 – LDMF 0: Frazier and Montero homered for the Nads, and the LDMF couldn’t get laid in a whorehouse full of nymphomaniac meth-heads. Miley tosses a 7-hitter.

 

The HEAD INMATE

Mavs 3, Wahoos 2

June 5

Justin Upton homers in the 4th to start the scoring. He homered again in the 6th. In a 4-2 game, Doolittle forced pinch hitter Jordy Mercer to hit a gbA with runners on the corners to end a threat in the 8th. Homer Bailey and 4 relievers hang on for the 4-2 win.

June 6

Ian Desmond, leading off for the first time all year, homers in the bottom of the first. Wahoos score 4 in the innings. With the score 6-1 in the fourth, Henderson Alvarez wiggles off the hook by forcing a gbA with 2 on. Seager hits a grand slam in the bottom of the 5th to make the score 11-2. Wahoos keep scoring. Finish with a 17-2 win. 21 hits and 11 walks in the game. Moises Sierra draws 4 walks in he win.

Aug. 17

With the Mavs riding a 5-1 lead the Wahoos loaded the bases against Jeremy Guthrie in the 6th. Aoki had a .408 chance to get on against Robbie Ross. And missed it. 14 more strikeouts for Verlander. Mavs get it done, 6-1.

Aug. 18

Henderson Alvarez pinch hits in the bottom of the 10th for a suicide squeeze bunt and the victory. Wahoos, 5-4.

Aug. 19

Buchholz and Justin Wilson were WAY too good for us. Wahoos limp on the final game of our Driller/Mavs series tonight. Wahoos lose 5-0.

Kendrys Morales hit 3 homers and was 12 for 21.

Wahoos 5, Drillers 0

Wahoos stun the world with a 5-0. Our offense was on point for a change.

Wahoos-Drillers

April 23

Saunders (2e1) commits a 2-base error in the bottom of the first. Norris and Davis hit back to back homers in the 4th. Longoria hit a 3-run homer off Melancon in the 8th to close the gap to 4-3. Wahoos hang on by stranding Puig at 2nd in the ninth.

April 24

Drillers score 2 in the first. A DP is the only thing that didn't make it worse. Wahoos fell behind 4-0. A 2-run homer from Desmond closed it to 5-4 in the 8th. Neil Walker lets a 2-star single through as he was holding the speedy Aoki in the bottom of the ninth. It was Dustin Pedroia's 4th hit. No DH for the Wahoos as we head to the 10th. Pedroia comes thru with another tying single in the top of the 11th. In the 14th, all hell broke loose. Yasiel homered in the top of the inning. The Wahoos tie on a flyb? that Beltran barely scores on. Brings up O'Day to bat (out of pinch hitters). Catcher X brings up a game-winning wild pitch. Wahoos 8-7. Pedroia finishes 6-for-7 with 3 RBIs. Buster Posey was 4-for-6.

July 15

Wahoos erupt for 5 runs off James Shields and Alex Torres in the 2nd inning. The rout was on after Aoki, Desmond and Ianetta went deep in the 5th. O'Day comes in for the final 3 to help save some Zimmerman innings. Wahoos win, 13-0.

July 16

Anibal Sanchez and David Carpenter combine for a 3-0 victory. Drillers bats have gone silent. Pedroia stays hot with a homer. Ianetta hits another one out.

July 17

Wahoos hit 3 homers in a row again (Norris, Davis, Morales) to take a 5-2 lead. Verlander out 13 in the complete win. 

Wahoos hit .319 in the series with 14 homers. Pedroia was 12-for-24. Ianetta (.375) and Desmond (.316) both homer 3 times. But the most stunning thing is the 2 shutouts and 2.52 ERA the team compiled.

Goofs 3, Mavs 2

Goofs go 3 and 2 at home

Game 1 Mavs 4 Goof 0

Game 2 Goofs 6 Mavs 2

Game 3 Goofs 4 Mavs 2

Game 4 Mavs 3 Goofs 2 (10 innings)

Game 5 Goofs 6 Mavs 3

Interesting Inmate Item

In checking out the games played by the Inmates in calendar (date) order, there’s an interesting tidbit.

 

Starting July 8, the scores are as follows:

 

Jul 8       Rhinos 6 – Inmates 5

Jul 9       Rhinos 2 – Inmates 0

Jul 10     Rhinos 7 – Inmates 0

Jul 11     Nads 3 – Inmates 0

Jul 12     Nads 3 – Inmates 0

Jul 13     Nads 4 – Inmates 0 (that’s five straight days being shutout!)

Jul 14     OFFDAY

Jul 15     Bees 21 – Inmates 5

Jul 16     Bees 9 – Inmates 3

Jul 17     Bees 5 – Inmates 1

Jul 18     Tweakers 5 – Inmates 2

 

A 10-game losing streak of epic proportions. The LDMF really showed up for these games.

 

The HEAD INMATE

The Extra Reserve Contest Update

Including games of *September 1st, the MLB standings look like this:

AL East: Balt +8.5 over NYY
AL Cent: KC +0.5 over Det; +4.5 over Cleve
AL West: LAA +4.5 over Oak

AL Wild Card
A's +4.0
Det  ---
Sea  -1.5
NYY  -4.0
Cleve  -4.0
Tor  -5.5

NL East: Wash +7.0 over Atl
NL Cent: StL +1.0 over Milw; +3.0 over Pgh
NL West: LAD +2.0 over SF

NL Wild Card
SF  +1.5
Milw  ---
Atl  -1.5
Pgh  -2.0
Mia  -5.5
Cin  -7.0
SD  -7.5

If the season ended tonight (it doesn't), this would be the standings in the Extra Reserve Contest (counting only Division winners (6) and Wild Card qualifiers (4)):
5 correct: Pigs, Bees, Tweeners
4 correct: Drillers, Buckeyes, Rhinos, Mavs, FFTs
3 correct: Goofs, Zaps
2 correct: Wahoos, DVs, SSW, Inmates, Fungi

Some tidbits...

• Nobody had the Brewers as either a division winner or a WC team.
• Only the Goofs picked the Orioles to win the AL East. The Wahoos and Zaps picked them to be a wild card, but unless they fail miserably, the Orioles will win the East. The Drillers picked the Yankees, who still have a chance. Everyone else picked either the Red Sox or the Rays.
• The Goofs are also the only team to pick the Royals to win the Central. Almost everybody else (not the Inmates or SSW) picked the Tigers, who obviously are still a good bet.
• The Baltimore/KC picks would be great for the Goofs, except they also picked the Rangers, Mets, and Diamondbacks to win their divisions, and the Phillies to be a WC. Oops.
• Everybody picked the Cards in the NL Central except the Goofs and SSW, who both picked the Reds. So nobody picked the Pirates to win the division, but several of us picked the Bucs as a WC.
• Eight of us have the Pirates, Braves, and Cardinals as a NL WC, and all are close.

And again, besides there being a month left in the season, this also doesn't take into account the rest of the brackets, which involves picking the right teams to advance. And there are a lot of Rangers, Rays, and Red Sox on the list. It's a bad year to pick the R teams, I guess.

* - The LAD/Wash game is not over, but I'm posting and then going to bed.

Mavs 3, Nads 2

4/8:  Wade Miley Cyrus takes the mound against Matt Adam Raised A Cane.  Through four the Mavs pound into two double plays and there would have been a third but Gonzalez made an error and still manage to leave four on base but lead 2-0.  Not being the superstitious sort, I’ll mention that Cane has a no hitter through five.  No hitter through six.  No hitter through seven.  Mavs up 5-0.  Despite having Clemens in his halcyon days, the Mavs have never thrown a no-hitter.  No hitter through eight.  Cane doesn’t really have those innings to burn but we’ll figure something out.  8-0 tope of the ninth.  Due up Punto, Montero and Lagares.  Will Cane do it?  No Punto hits a 2-5 double.  Cane calls it a night and heads to Betty’s Brothel to celebrate.  He’s not even around to see Montero double and drive in the Nads first run.  The Nads tack on a second run with a clutch hit by Frazier.  Cane’s final line 8 IP, 1 hit, 1 walk and 9 strikeouts.  Mavs win 8-2 as Chris Davis goes 3-5 with four RBI and no one even noticed.

4/9:  Chen vs. Gallardo in the getaway game.  Sadly Chen is such a reverse lefty that despite some at bat problems Heyward will play.  Some lucky NASOMA manager will benefit later. 3-2 in the seventh.  The Mavs are in the bullpen at this point.  Somehow we drug Wilson in to face a righty who kills lefties but it worked.  I’ll confess that I was trying to bring in Richards but drug the wrong guy over.  A two out double by Davis causes Hal to bring in a righty against Lucroy in the bottom of the eighth.  The former Tweener Latroy Latroy the Blown Save Boy Hawkins comes in.  Lucroy singles.  Bringing up Heyward.  The Mavs counter with Country Breakfast.  Hal stays with Hawkins.  Butler belches, swings and misses.  Heading to the bottom of the ninth the plucky Nads are still on top 3-2 (at least the score isn’t 6-9).  With one out Bryce Harper lines a pinch hit single (missed the triple).  The Mavs pinch hit Soto for Headley.  Yes Soto has third base.  Soto flies out.  The Mavs pinch hit Aviles for Andrus.  Heaven help us if we tie the game.  Aviles singles Harper over to second.  Will Hal stay with Hawkins?  Yes.  Upton rolls a 1-15 one star single.  Bases loaded. Hal’s wheels are turning.  Anthony Swarzak to face Kendrick.  The Mavs counter with yet another pinch hitter.  Eggs Ackley on as the Mavs bench has emptied.  5-8 fly to center.  The Nads hold on or hold on to their Nads.  Hard to tell.  Bruce Chen wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game going 7 2/3 to pick up the win.  Brian Dozier hit a big two run homer and the Mavsv left nine on and hit into two double plays.  Nads 3-2.

7/1:  Miley Cyrus against Buchholz.  Despite a two hitter through six, the Mavs pull Buchholz.  IP problems.  Clay understands.  Meanwhile the Mavs have chased Miley and are leading 5-0 heading to the bottom of the seventh.  The Mavs tack on a run and Garrett Richards takes the hill in the ninth looking for the cheap three inning save.  The Nads go quietly having an appointment in Betty’s Brothel and being a bit in a hurry.  Elvis wins the Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game with three RBIs and two X chart DP’s (the Nads hit into three).  The Mavs win 6-0

7/2:  Estrada vs. against Sorry Ass Homer Allowed Bailey (SAHAB).  The Mavs have to look around for their cards against a right handed starter.   SAHAB gives up 4 unearned runs in the first off of a Headley error.  Meanwhile 4 Oswaldo Arcia catches everything in left field.  Heading to the top of the seventh all the Mavs have managed is a solo homer by Harper to lead off the game.  No other hits allowed by Estrada.  Richards on for the Mavs to save Bailey some innings.  With two outs in the seventh the Mavs get their second hit and Hal pulls Estrada in favor of Sam Lecure to face Headley.  The Mavs counter with Lucroy.  He flies out.  No more runs cross the plate and Hal goes to Latroy the Blown Save Boy to pitch the bottom of the ninth up 4-1.  Latroy walks Davis.  Latroy walks Upton bringing up Soto.  4-7 single.  A run scores, Hawkins collapses exhausted on the mound.  In comes Jerry Blevins.  Up comes pinch hitter Jason Heyward.  Nobody out runners on first and third.  The tying run is Soto.  Wait that sounds stupid.  In comes Matt Cain.  Double by Heyward.  The Mavs hold Cain at third on a 1-11 with no one out.  Runners on second and third and Kendrick up.  Kendrick pops out.  Aviles hits a 3-7 plus hit through the drawn in infield.  Latroy blows it with an assist from Blevins.  Aviles wins the Betty’s Brothel Blow of the Game.  Mavs win 5-4.

7/3:  The matchup in the getaway game is C. J. Wilson (how many fucking lefties do the Nads have??) against Matt Cain.  An X chart double and error by Upton leads to the Nads first run with one out in the fourth.  Lagares returns the favor letting an X chart single fall in front of him while contemplating the Nads mascot who made the trip to the ballpark today.  The Mavs squeak a run across.  Cain is pulled after five having allowed one unearned run.  So no earned runs in 13 innings pitched against the Nads and only four hits allowed.  In the top of the seventh the Nads get a single with two outs.  Bring in a pinch hitter Matt Adams and get the runner thrown out stealing rendering Adams ineligible for the rest of the games since he was pinch hitting for the catcher.  Way to go Hal.  Meanwhile a 2-5 and 1-8 by Frazier and Arcia off of Holland leads to a 3-3 tie after the top of the ninth.  Andrus singles with two out off of Wilson (11^th hit allowed), steals second and Upton walks.  Two on two out for Kendrick.  Hal pulls Wilson for Swarzak.  The Mavs pinch hit Heyward and he flies out.  A tired Greg Holland goes out to pitch the tenth.  The Mavs get a base runner but that is it. Out trudges an even more tired Greg Holland.  Holland gives up two right away.  The Mavs get a hit but go quietly.  The Grumpy’s Bail Bonds Player of the Game goes to Arcia who went 2-5 with a homer and two RBI’s.  5-3 Nads in 11.

The Mavs left 79 men on base in the ten games against the Nads, hit into 15 double plays and were out homered 8 to six but still split the ten games.  We’ll take that.

Fungoes Clinch the HWD!

Congratulations to the Fungoes, who reached their magic number today, clinching the division over the Inmates.

Technically, the Nads are not mathematically eliminated at this time because they have played fewer games. The Fungo magic number to eliminate the Nads is 2.

Inmates 4, Nads 3

Weird series, the Inmates stomped the NADS (ouch )  in the first four games, then the NADS shutout the Inmates in three straight games. Inmates go 4-3 at NADS

Game 1 - One run was the difference the INMATES defeated the NADS 3 to 2.

 

Game 2 - Danny Salazar mowed down 11 Nads and Gaby Sanchez went yard and had 3

RBI as the INMATES beat the NADS  7 to 1.

 

Game 3 - Left fielder Carlos Gonzalez blasted a homerun and had 4 RBI and Jose Quintana mowed down 10 batters as the INMATES crushed the NADS 17 to 1.

 

Game 4 - the fans were treated to an intriguing pitcher's duel. Jarrod 

parker(1-0) finally bested his C.J. Wilson(4-13), by the score of 3 to 1.

 

Game 5 - Center fielder Juan Lagares had 2 base hits as the NADS topped the 

INMATES by a score of 3 to 0. Wade Miley(6-9) had a strong outing.  He gave up just 3 hits and 1 walk in 6 and 2/3 innings.

 

Game 6 - First baseman Adrian Gonzalez lofted one into the 'cheap seats' and had 2 RBI as the NADS outscored the INMATES 3 to 0.

 

Game 7 - Doug Fister threw a 3 hit shutout as the NADS bested the INMATES 4

to 0. Fister was virtually untouchable giving up only three hits

Nads 3, Mavs 2

MAVS go 2-3 at the NADS in a series with 11 errors in five games. Six by the MAVS and 5 by the NADS.

Game 1 - Designated hitter Evan Gattis jacked one out of the ballyard and had 2 RBI as the MAVS beat the NADS 7 to 5. The Mavs had 4 runs cross the plate in the 6th inning when they had 4 base hits. It was enough to earn the victory.  

 

Game 2 - The game was won by the NADS with a run in the bottom of the 8th inning.  After an out was recorded, Juan Lagares laced a base-knock.  Adrian Gonzalez stepped up next and he drew a walk.  One out later, Oswaldo Arcia then laced a base-hit.  The MAVS had a chance in the 9th but they came up short.  

 

Game 3 -Yovani Gallardo(4-3) and C.J. Wilson(4-12) treated the fans to a fine

pitching duel.  The MAVS eventually emerged as victors over the NADS by the score of 2 to 0.

 

Game 4 - Matt Adams knocked 2 homeruns and scored 3 times as the NADS beat the TAD MAVS 8 to 5. Adams enjoyed a big day at the plate. He smashed a solo-shot out of the park in the 1st inning, clubbed a solo home run in the 5th inning and doubled in the 7th inning.  

Game 5 - Chris Tillman completed the game without help from the bullpen and Adrian Gonzalez had 2 base hits as the NADS pulled out a win over the MAVS

by a score of 5 to 4.

Goofs 3, Nads 2

Goofs take 3 of 5 in final 5 at Goofs

Game 1 Goofs 4 Nads 2

Game 2 Goofs 8 Nads 1

Game 3 Goofs 6 Nads 1

Game 4 Nads 3 Goofs 2 (10 inning)

Game 5 Nads 4 Goofs 2

The Bees Play Some Games (evidently)

Bees 3, Fungoes 2
Bees 3, Zaps 2
Drillers 4, Bees 1