Buckeyes 2, Tweeners 1

3 games played before the witching hour. Results/details to follow at some point. "Curses, foiled again!", says Demerit Man.

Sidewinders 3, Mavs 2

4/28 Mavs 5 SSWs 3 Hochevar goes the distance beating Ubaldick. Kendrick doubles and triples and drives in 2.

4/29 SSWs 5 Mavs 4. Seth Smith hit a 2 run shot in the 7th to put Snakes ahead. Kimbrel with the save

9/5 SSWs win 6-3Kimbrel another save. Upton doubles and hits a HR.

9/6 SSWS 13 LosMavs 7 Morrow is the winner Bailey the loser. Teams combine for 5 HRs

9/7 Mavs win 8-2 behind strong outing by Hochevar and homers by Young, Kendrick and Torrealba

Sidewinders 4, Nads 1

4/25 Snakes beat Nads 3-2 in 10 innings

4/26 Snakes again win 3-2 in 10 innings. Smoak with RBIsingle to win it.

4/27 Lester shuts out Nads 2-0, wasting a strong outing by Wilson. Brandon Belt hits a tater.

9/3 Nads win 5-3, Wilson beats Jimenez, Guerra with the save

9/4 Rasmus hits a solo shot in the bottom of the 8th off of Shawn Marcum to secure 4-3 snake victory.
Sale picks up the win and Kimbrel gets the save

Inmates 4, Sidewinders 4

(all via netplay)

SIDEWINDERS 8 – LDMF 3 (Baptist Bowl): Giambi and Wright homer for the Snakes while Lester pitches well enough to win. LDMF get ten hits, but couldn’t score in a nymphomaniac whorehouse.

INMATES 12 – SIDEWINDERS 2 (Baptist Bowl): Ryan Howard goes 4-4 with 2 doubles, 2 homers (including a grand slam). A reverse of game 1.

INMATES 3 – SIDEWINDERS 2 (10 innings – Baptist Bowl): Back-to-back doubles by Howard and Paredes with one out in the last of the 10^th win it for the Inmates.

INMATES 6 – SIDEWINDERS 3 (Snake Pit): Snakes can’t overcome Jimenez pitching like an Inmate. Howard and Beltre go yard back-to-back in the 7^th.

SIDEWINDERS 7 – INMATES 6 (11 innings – Snake Pit): Vernon Wells hits a slammer in the 7^th to put Inmates up 5-3, but the Snakes tie it up in the bottom of the 9^th. Inmates pull ahead 6-5 after batting in the 11^th, only to have Perez and Karstens start throwing batting practice and allow the Snakes to win.

INMATES 4 – SIDEWINDERS 2 (Snake Pit): Howard homers again, while de la Rosa and Hernandez pitch well.

SIDEWINDERS 4 – INMATES 3 (Baptist Bowl): Another see-saw game, with the Inmates tying the game in the 7^th on a Barney (purple) double. Bastard-o comes on in the 9th to let Chisenhall hit a tater and the Inmates inhale vociferously.

SIDEWINDERS 15 – NODICKMOTHERFUCKERS 1 (Toilet Bowl): Only Beltre’s homer in the 4^th kept the NDMF from being totally embarrassed, collecting only 4 hits while making 4 errors. The whole Snake lineup homered several times in this game.

The HEAD INMATE

Fungoes 4, Drillers 3

Fungoes and Drillers results from 7 played at WTF

June 15:

Fungoes hold on for a 3-2 win. Fungoes out hit the Drillers 11-3 but leave 10 on base. Shields takes the hard luck loss while Holland gets the win. Papelbon picks up the save.

June 16:

Drillers score 2 in the first, 3 in the second and 4 in the fourth and cruise to a 9-4 win. Haren picks up the win while Myers is tagged with the loss. 'It's been a rough ride lately, but this was a good win for us' said SHAWN's manager, 'Maybe this will put us back on track.' "SHITFUCK" said the Fungoes manager!

June 17:

Fungoes take a 3-0 lead into the fifth inning but allow single runs in the 5th, 7th, 9th and 10th and the Drillers win in comeback fashion 4-3. David Murphy hits the solo shot in the tenth for the winning run. Bill Bray gets the win in relief while David Robertson gets the loss. J.Ellsbury, E.Longoria also homer for the Drillers.

September 13:

Fungoes turn the tables on the Drillers and win 4-3. Drillers were leading 3-0 until Napoli and Hosmer hit back to back Homeruns off of Casey Janssen to take the 4-3 lead in the 7th inning. Janssen pitched to only two batters and takes the loss. David Price picks up the win and Papelbon gets the save.

September 14:

Drillers win in extra innings 4-1. Both teams were tied at 1 run apiece after nine innings. The Drillers won it in the 11th inning. Jose Molina started the inning off right when he doubled. Evan Longoria stepped up next and he was walked intentionally. Paul Konerko then doubled. David Murphy was up next and he ripped a base-knock. That finished off the scoring (and the Fungoes). Scott Baker picked up the win while David Robertson took the loss. Napoli homered for the Fungoes only run.

September 15:

This is the third time for extra innings between these two division foes. Fungoes win this one 2-1 When Napoli hits a two-out "walkoff" double in the tenth inning. Shields takes a tough complete game loss while Pauly gets the win in relief of Kershaw.

September 16:

Shortstop Willie Bloomquist had 2 base hits as the Fungoes won a heart-stopping victory over the Drillers, 5 to 4. The Fungoes won the game with a run in the bottom of the 9th inning. Scott Sizemore doubled. Two outs later Matt Wieters stepped in and he drew a walk. Nelson Cruz then ripped a one-base hit resulting in an exciting "walk-off" win for the Fungi and a raucous post-game celebration by the home town fans. Fungoes collected 13 hits for the night while the Drillers had 7. Jonathan Papelbon(3-0) got credit for the victory, pitching 1 inning and allowing 1 run. Bill Bray(1-1) was charged with the loss in relief.

Drillers 3, Tweeners 2

Drillers take 3 of 5 at the Hooverdome. Game 1 James Shields went the distance, 8 & 9 hitters Asdrubal & Bruce both homered and combined to go 5 for 9 with 7 RBI, final score 11-3.

In game 2, Michael Morse homered and had 2 RBI at The Hooverdome where the NORM TWEENERS beat the SHAWN DRILLERS by the score of 5 to 3.

The game started off with NORM taking the lead in the first plating an
isolated run utilizing 2 base hits. SHAWN tried unsuccessfully to come back
in the 9th.

The winning pitcher was Felix Hernandez(8-3) who allowed 2 runs in 7 innings.
Sergio Romo earned the save, his 10th. Dan Haren(1-2) ended up with the
loss.

NORM manager George Brett was beaming after the game, 'Not only were we making good contact, but a lot of balls we hit seemed to have 'eyes'! I just love winning these tight ones! It was just our day - no doubt about it!'

In game 3 the Drillers jumped on Gio for 4 in the 2nd, but the Tweeners clawed back against Vazquez and it was tied at the end of regulation. Both teams squandered chances in extra innings, most notably the bottom of the 11th when the Tweeners loaded the bases with one out, and with the infield & outfield in Scott Baker got pinch-hitter Alex Presley to hit into a 4-2-3 DP. Drillers scored 2 in the 12th, and in the bottom half with a man aboard Wilin Rosario just got under the 1-8 BP HR, flying out to end the game. Drillers 6, Tweeners 4. Shitfuck.

A twi-night doubleheader to wrap things up. In the opener Tweeners got 3 in the 1st off Romero but would not score again. Drillers got 2 in the 2nd and 1 in the 5th off Felix. In the 9th, rookie manager Brett would make his worst blunder to date, electing to let Javier Lopez pitch to Jacoby Ellsbury with a man at 3rd, 2 outs, first base open, and Romo warmed in the pen. Ballgame. Fuckshit.

The nightcap featured a 3 run homer and a grand slam by Nick Hundley, Tweeners win 9-5 to salvage the split.

Drillers 3, Inmates 2

(all games at the Baptist Bowl)

DRILLERS 4 – INMATES 2: LDMF manage 3 hits against Shields. Ellsbury taters and gets a stolen base in starting his crusade to be a pain in the Inmates’ collective ass.

INMATES 5 – DRILLERS 3: Beltre’s bases-loaded 3-run double in 7^th gives Inmates the win.

DRILLERS 10 – LDMF 1: Vazquez pitches complete game 4-hitter and Ks 12; Ellsbury and Longoria (Eva) homer twice and Murphy adds another for good measure in a game where Drillers fans were treated to a victory over a bad Pony League team.

DRILLERS 3 – LDMF 1: LDMF offensive juggernaut continues, mustering 5 hits. Ellsbury is held to one hit, but he promptly stole 2^nd. Shitfuck.

INMATES 6 – DRILLERS 1: A 5-run Inmate 6^th is enough for the win as the LDMF hire shills to prevent the ignominy of losing another home game. All 51 fans in attendance responded with a squatting ovation. Ellsbury gets 2 more hits for the Drillers.

The HEAD INMATE

DVs 4, FFTs 3

DVs and FFTs hooked up in a home and home series to finish up their season series with the DVs winning 4 of 7.

At DVs

Game 1 – Stanton, McCann and Helton homer in a DV 11-8 slugfest win

Game 2 – Kuroda keeps the FFTs in the game and they score 3 in the 8^th on the shaky DV bullpen to win 4-3

Game 3 – Lilly pulls a “Kuroda” and keeps the FFTs in the game early and the FFTs hit Halladay hard in a 6-5 FFT win.

At FFTs

Game 4 – DVs use ace Weaver to 4 hit the former team and DVs cruise to a 4-0 win

Game 5 – DVs get a nice 6-3 win with little to report

Game 6 – DVs give up 4 runs late and Anibal Sanchez limits the DVs to 3 hits over 7 innings as FFTs win 4-2

Game 7 – Santana gets hit hard and DVs run away to an easy 8-1 win.

Warpigs 3, Buckeyes 2

Netplayed, without too many freeze-ups. (And this is relatively speaking of course. ANY freeze ups are too many freeze ups, but this is netplay we're talking about. So our expectations are much lower.)

Gm 1 @ The BallPork - Buckeyes win 2-1. I have gone back thru every game this year (no, really) and discovered that in the 247 times that a ground ball-x has been hit to David Freese, he has allowed an error (84 times), a base hit (80 times), or both a hit and an error (82 times). He has cleanly fielded a ball once. His error leading off the game led to an unearned run. Vital, given that the final score was 2-1. Alfredo Aceves went 7 innings for the win. Jeremy Hellickson threw a complete game, taking the hard luck loss. Hanley Ramirez homered for the only Pig run.

Gm 2 @ The BallPork - Warpigs win 7-2. I can die happy now. I won a game against the Buckeyes this year. A brawl erupted in the bottom of the 6th. Chris Carpenter hit Brett Lawrie with a pitch to open the inning - an obvious message for Lawrie, who is dating Carpenter's granddaughter. Freddie Freeman then homered and had some words for Carpenter as he rounded the bases. Carpenter hit David Freese with the next pitch. And nobody hits Freese and gets away with it. Carpenter was ejected, but being bloodied and beaten, he couldn't have continued anyway. Jake Westbrook got the win. Marc Rzepczynski and Mark Melancon combined for 3.2 innings of no-hit relief.

Gm 3 @ Buckeye Palace - Warpigs win 10-7. It was Westbrook again, and by the 8th, the Marc and Mark relief tandem were finished, leaving it to the Three Uglies in the Pig Pen to hold a lead against the vaunted Buckeyes in the legendary Buckeye Palace. But Mike Leake got thru the 8th, and after the Pigs tacked on 2 more runs in the top of the 9th, Dillon Gee came on for the save. Ugly, but we'll take it. Freddie Freeman went 3-4 with 2 homers. The Buckeyes hit into 5 double plays.

Gm 4 @ Buckeye Palace - Buckeyes win 9-3. I will be so glad when SOM allows us to turn off the blocking the plate rule. It was all the difference here, as without it, we would have only lost 7-3. Jordan Zimmermann was knocked out early, and the third Ugly, Jason Hammel, saved the bullpen with 4.1 innings of passable relief. The slap-happy David Ortiz legged out 4 singles for the Shriveled Testicle Gang. Phillip Humber went 8 innings for the win. Dustin Ackley had the game's only homer.

Gm 5 @ Buckeye Palace - Warpigs win 7-3. In game 2 of a double header, the Pigs pounded Aceves for 5 runs in the 1st inning. Erik Bedard threw a complete game for his 9th win of the year. Freeman hit his 4th homer of the series.

The Warpigs only outscored the Buckeyes 28-23, but outhomered them 9-2.

Inmates 2, Buckeyes 2 (again)

Lucky @#$&!@^#$ Buckeyes (albeit with a better team) cheese two from the conspicuously non-LDMF.

(all games at the Buckeye Dome)

BUCKEYES 9 – INMATES 8: Inmates take a 5-run lead into the 3^rd, when plop-plop-fizz-fizz and a big Poopi grand salami later, the Buckeyes lead 6-5. OK, Inmates score 3 more to take an 8-6 lead into the bottom of the 9^th. Typical Shriveled Testical Shit, and the Inmates lose. Howard taters twice to no avail.

BUCKEYES 10 – INMATES 8: Inmates lead 8-2 headed into the 7^th. The BastardEyes score 5 cheating times, but still trail into the 8^th. Then Reed (who?) Goddamned Johnson hits a three-run homer in the 8^th to ice the game. Inmates have scored 8 twice, but can’t win.

INMATES 11 – BUCKEYES 6: An 11-2 deficit is too much even for the Cheatin’ Bastages. Pennington goes long twice (remember that, PigMan?) and the Inmate bullpen doesn’t suck too badly.

INMATES 5 – BUCKEYES 2: Howard hits two more jacks, Beachy K’s 12 and allows two mistakes (taters to Escobar and Heisey). Anti-LDMF win again.

The HEAD INMATE

Buckeyes 4, DVs 1

Buckeyes take 4 of 5 from the DVs in a surprisingly uneventful netplay session.

Game 1 – The only game the DVs win 4-2 and its all downhill from here

2 – Hamels has a no hitter broken up (finally) by McCann in the 8^th with a solo home run. DVs tack on 2 more solo homers in order to lose 4 to 3

3 – Bucks crush Weaver early on Independence Day and roll up a 6-3 win

4 – DVs lead 6 to 1 only to watch the Buckeyes score 10 straight to win 11-6.

5 – DVs easily handle Ogando with a 6-3 triumph.

Warpigs 3, Nads 2

Games played at the BallPork.

Gm 1 - Nads win 8-2. Fister gets the win. Hellickson gets pounded early; Hammel gets pounded late.

Gm 2 - Pigs win 3-2. Freddie Freeman gets a 2-out, bottom of the 9th rbi single to give Jake Westbrook a complete game win over C.J. Wilson.

Gm 3 - Pigs win 6-1. Hanley Ramirez went 3-3 with a homer; Geovanny Soto went 3-4 with 2 homers. Westbrook beats C.J. again.

Gm 4 - Nads win 3-2. In the bottom of the 6th in a 2-2 game, the Pigs loaded the bases with nobody out. Josh Thole came on to pinch hit against Cordero. He hit into a 3-2-3 double play. We didn't score. Josh Willingham homered to lead off the 8th for the winning run. It's just as well... I was feeling a bit guilty about the start of this game. We started with a double and a walk, then Ackley rolled lineout max, for what I thought would be a triple play. Hal felt differently, and it was only a double play. Freddie Freeman hit the next pitch for a 2-run homer.

Gm 5 - Pigs win 5-0. Eric Bedard with the complete game 4-hit shutout, striking out 11. The game was 1-0 in the 7th when Freeman singled home Ackley to make it 2-0. After 2 outs, the Nads intentionally walked Delmon Young in the clutch, and David Freese pinch hit a 3-run homer.

Killer Bees 4, Warpigs 1

Bees 4, Pigs 1. Sorry I am not that great at summaries, but Zimmeran went 12 1/3 in one of the games and lost on a walk-off HR. Lots of close games. Pigs suck...wish I could have beat your ass face to face:) I'm spending too much time dreaming about naked grown men. Is that weird? Beeboy.

Nads 4, Warpigs 1

Gm 1 - Adrian Gonzalez had 2 base hits and 3 RBI as the NADS beat the WARPIGS 13 to 7.

Gm 2- Adrian Gonzalez slammed a homerun and had 2 RBI as the sizzling NADS topped the WARPIGS by a score of 5 to 3

Gm 3 - Stephen Drew had 3 base hits and Jeremy Hellickson allowed manager to rest his bullpen, tossing a complete game as the WARPIGS beat the DAVE NADS 6 to 4.

Gm 4 - Dan Uggla cracked a homer and had 5 RBI and C.J. Wilson tossed a complete game As the NADS beat the WARPIGS by the score of 16 to 10

Gm 5 - Erick Aybar lofted one into the 'cheap seats' and had 4 RBI as the NADS beat the WARPIGS 5 to 3.

Nads 5, Sidewinders 0

NADS sweep the Snakes 5-0 by out scoring the Snakes 30-15 – Snakes make 8 errors in 5 games

GM 1 - In a close game the NADS ended a long winless drought and got by the SIDEWINDERS by the score of 5 to 3.

Gm 2 - Adrian Gonzalez had 2 base hits and 2 RBI as the NADS defeated the SIDEWINDERS by a score of 5 to 4

GM 3 - Doug Fister mowed down 10 Sidewinder batters as the NADS defeated the SIDEWINDERS by a score of 6 to 4 

Gm 4 - Danny Valencia hit 2 doubles and had 4 RBI as the NADS defeated the SIDEWINDERS by the score of 11 to 2

Gm 5 - Second baseman Jemile Weeks had 2 base hits as the NADS beat the SIDEWINDERS in 13 innings 3 to 2.

Goofs 3, Nads 2

Gm 1 – Goofs win a great pitcher's duel.  Carlos Villanueva(1-0) finally bested his NAD opposite, C.J. Wilson(6-5), by the score of 2 to 1.

GM 2 - In a game for the baseball purist, Shaun Marcumand Kyle Lohse

squared off in a tense pitching duel, NADS finally emerged victorious

over SUPER GOOFS, 3 to 0.

Gm 3 - Brandon Phillips had 2 base hits as the SUPER GOOFS topped the 

NADS by a score of 5 to 1 at Kauffman Stadium.

Gm 4 - Marlon Byrd had 4 hits and 2 RBI at Kauffman Stadium where the SUPER GOOFS beat the NADS 7 to 2.

Gm 5 - Guillermo Moscoso whitewashed on 2 hits at Kauffman Stadium as the

DAVE NADS beat the SUPER GOOFS by the count of 5 to 0.

Buckeyes 4, Nads 3

Gm 1 - Freddy Sanchez blasted 2 homeruns and had 3 RBI as the Buckeyes

outscored the NADS 9 to 4.

Gm 2 -The NADS bested the Buckeyes by a 5 to 1 score at Kauffman

Stadium. The win was credited to Doug Fister(5-4) who went 5 and 1/3 innings allowing 1 run. Fister got help from Francisco Cordero who was credited with his 3rd save.  R.A. Dickey(1-1) was tagged with the loss.

Gm 3 - Cole Hamels dominated striking out 10 NAD batters as the Buckeyes topped the NADS in 12 innings by a score of 8 to 6. Both teams were tied at 5 runs apiece after nine innings.  Buckeyes ended up winning it in the 12th inning.

Gm 4 -the Buckeyes outscored the NADS 4 to 1. Philip Humber(4-0) went 5 innings allowing 1 run for the victory. Eduardo Sanchez was credited with his 1st save.  Josh Collmenter took the loss. He gave up 6 hits and no walks in 5 and 1/3 innings.

Gm 5 - Doug Fister went 6 strong innings as the NADS defeated the Buckeyes by the score of 3 to 1. DAVE out-hit GLENN for the game, 9 hits to 4

Gm 6 - The Buckeyes won by the slimmest of margins, 4 to 3. The winning pitcher was Philip Humber(5-0) who allowed 3 runs in 6 innings.

Joe Smith recorded the save, his 1st.  C.J. Wilson(6-4) was the loser.

Gm 7 - Josh Willingham had 2 base hits and 2 RBI at Kauffman Stadium as the NADS

beat the Buckeyes 6 to 1.

Inmates 2, Buckeyes 2

Inmates beat Carpenter twice, but the LDMF show up for two games…

INMATES 6 – BUCKEYES 5 (Buckeye Dome): Howard, Espinosa, and Suzuki tater for the Inmates, but the Shriveled Testicle Gang hang tough. Ziegler gets tough save in the 9^th.

BUCKEYES 3 – LDMF 0 (Baptist Bowl): Humber and Smith toss a 4-hitter. ‘Nuf said.

BUCKEYES 9 – INMATES 5 (BAPTIST BOWL): Beachy walks 6 and allows 8 hits in 4.1; the Buckeyes pound out 16 hits. Cargo and Jones homer for the Inmates, but you can’t save suck.

INMATES 5 – BUCKEYES 4 (Baptist Bowl): One of the ugliest games in a long time. Chacin only allows 3 hits in 6 IP but walks 7 to allow Buckeyes to stay close. Howard hits a 2-run sacfly/error in the first. Inmates hang on for the W.

Fungoes 3, Killer Bees 2

Here are the results from the five played today at WTF. Fungoes won 3 of 5.

May 25 at WTF:

Killer Bees unload on Porcello scoring 4 in the first and 3 more in the second. Verlander cruises to an easy victory striking out tem Fungoes as the Bees win it 8-5. Michael Bourn collects three hits while Carlos Beltran homers and drives in four. Prince Fielder also goes yard for the Bees!

May 26 at WTF:

Fungoes beat up on Cliff Lee and David Price picks up the win as the Fungoes win it 7-3. Hosmer goes four for four with two RBIs for the Fungoes while Rickie Weeks hits a three run blast in the ninth to account for all of Bees runs!

August 19 at WTF:

This marathon 18 inning affair is finally ends when Napoli hits the walkoff Homerun with Berkman on base for the 8-6 Fungo win! Gardner for the Fungoes and Santana for the Bees both collect one hit in nine at bats! The win goes to Glen Perkins for the Fungoes while Rafael Bentancourt takes the tough 4 inning loss for the Bees! Fungoes used 8 pitchers and scattered 19 hits!

August 20 at WTF:

Brett Myers outlasts Ian Kennedy as the Fungoes win 8-5. Bees make it interesting in the ninth scoring 2 but Papelbon comes in to nail down his 19th save. It was a good day for the Fungi thanks to Lance Berkman. He doubled in the 1st inning, laced a base-knock in the 3rd inning and lost the ball over the fence for three runs in the 7th inning.

August 21 at WTF:

Bees beat up on Kershaw scoring 2 in the second inning and 3 in the third inning winning easily 10-3. Johnny Cueto picks up the win for the Bees. Farnsworth gets the three inning save.

Fungoes 4, Sidewinders 1

Here are results from five played today at WTF Firehouse #5:

April 14 at WTF:

Snakes score 4 in the first and 3 in the sixth and cruise to a 7-3 win. Brandon Morrow picks up the win while Craig Kimbrel nails down the one out save for the Snakeman. Derek Holland takes the loss for the Fungoes! Lonnie Chisenhall hits a two-run Homer in the 7th for the Sidewinders.

April 15 at WTF:

Lincecum and Kershaw take shutouts into the 7th! Fungoes score four in the bottom of the 7th and add two more in the 8th for the 6-0 win. Kershaw picks up the win and the combined shutout with help from Frieri, Perkins and Papelbon. Cuddyer hits a two-run Homer and Span plates two with a triple!

July 10 at WTF:

Fungoes win 6-4 with Kershaw claiming the win, while Umbaldo Jiminez goes the distance picking up the loss for the Snakes. Sizemore, Hosmer and Bloomquist all homer for the Fungi while Smoak goes yard for the Snakes!

July 11 at WTF:

Fungoes score early and often building a 5-0 lead by the end of the third. Snakes cut the lead to 5-3 in the sixth but Fungoes answer with a run in the seventh and two more in the eighth to win it 8-3. Price gets the complete game win while Pineda is tagged with the loss. Berkman and Hosmer homer for the Fungoes.

July 12 at WTF:

Fungoes get to Brandon Morrow early scoring 3 in the first and then cruise to an 8-2 win. Holland gets the win for the Fungoes. Salvador Perez and Nelson Cruz homer for the Fungoes.

Warpigs 4, Zaps 1

Not that I'm TRYING to lose games, but I certainly wouldn't have objected... so of course, we beat a better team. This is a weird game.

Games were played with a CM at the BallPork.

Gm 1 - Zaps win 11-7. This is pretty much what I expected every game. The Zaps hit 5 homers and then withstood a Pig comeback attempt.

Gm 2 - Pigs win 7-4. Zaps led 3-2 into the bottom of the 8th, but Hal replaced Greinke with Downs and the Pigs lit him up with 3 straight hits, ending with a 2-run homer by J.D. Martinez. Capuano replaced Downs and he allowed three singles. O'Flaherty became the third straight lefty reliever of the inning, and Cameron Maybin doubled off of him to cap the 5-run inning.

Gm 3 - Pigs win 7-5. Lucas Duda, who hit .444 for the series and drove in 8, hit a 9th inning 3-run homer to make it close, but a tired Melancon stayed in to get McCutchen and end the game.

Gm 4 - Pigs win 6-1. Edinson Volquez is on a bit of a roll. He throws a complete game 3-hitter against this murder's row of hitters AND DOESN'T EVEN WALK ANYONE! Coming in, he had walked 37 in 48 innings. Too weird.

Gm 5 - Pigs win 3-0. The Pigs started the game with 3 straight doubles, all off of the pitcher's card. But the star of the game was Jeremy Hellickson, who tossed a 3-hit shutout.

 

Killer Bees 3, Warpigs 2

Games played by CM at the BallPork.

Gm 1 - Pigs win 3-1. Jeremy Hellickson outdueled Cliff Lee.

Gm 2 - Bees win 4-2 in 10 innings. Ian Kennedy went 9. He started the 10th but gave up a leadoff double to Dustin Ackley and was relieved by J.J. Putz, who got the save.

Gm 3 - Bees win 11-3. Johnny Cueto gave up two late homers, but otherwise was outstanding in the win. Rickie Weeks and Prince Fielder each knocked in 3 runs.

Gm 4 - Bees win 5-2. Justin Verlander over Hellickson.

Gm 5 - Pigs win 5-4. Lee was coasting with a shutout entering the 6th, but the Pigs started the inning HR, walk, single, RBI single, 3-run HR... and the Pigs had a Tweener split.

Warpigs 4, Sidewinders 1

In what qualifies as probably my favorite regular season series ever, the Pigs took 4 out of 5 from the Snakes. This series featured two very bad teams, but that's usually a necessary component for fun.

Gm 1 @ The Snake Pit - Warpigs win 7-3. Edinson Volquez throws his first complete game of the year in the win, striking out 14. The Pig batters pounded Jon Lester and company for 13 hits. Daniel Stubbs and Gordon Beckham homered for the Snakes.

Gm 2 @ The Snake Pit - Sidewinders win 10-2. Volquez gets the Snakes out with ease in game 1, but Jeremy Hellickson gets clobbered. Go figure. Michael Pineda went 7 innings for the win. David Wright hit a grand slam.

Gm 3 @ The BallPork - Warpigs win 9-3. Erik Bedard allowed only 4 hits over 8 innings to get the win, but the key stat of the game: the Pigs stole TEN bases. Thanks to the holds of Ubaldo Jimenez and Carlos Marmol, seven different Pigs stole bases, but the last one was the best. After Geovanny Soto walked in the 8th, Stephen Drew came off the bench specifically to try for steal #10. The Snakes, sensing the strategy, changed pitchers. Neftali Feliz came in to make the hold -7. Drew is only a *15 anyway (and has a pickoff at 9!), but we had to try. Drew got the lead and took off. It was only 1-8, but he got the 7 for the tenth steal of the game. It also drew this response from the Snakeman: "Fucker."

Gm 4 @ The BallPork - Warpigs win 7-6. The game started with Dee Gordon singling, stealing 2nd, stealing 3rd, and then being doubled off when Colby Rasmus lined out to 2nd. It was that kind of day for the Snakes. The much-maligned Edinson Volquez was tooling along with a 1-0 lead when he was taken out in the 6th. The Snakes were so happy to see the Pig pen, that they erupted for 6 runs in the top of the 7th. The Pigs immediately went into "at bat saving" mode. Geovanny Soto was called on in the 8th to do just that, and he took advantage of it by slapping an rbi double. Brandon Crawford of all people, active only because it was a September game, singled him home. Chris Sale was then brought on to put out the small fire but only made it bigger when pinch hitter J.D. Martinez blasted a 2-run homer. With the score now 6-5, Craig Kimbrel came on for what would have to be a 5-out save, but he was greeted by a pinch hit double by John Mayberry and a game-tying double by Jeff Francoeur. With two outs, David Freese singled in Francoeur with the go-ahead run. Marc Rzepczynski muddled thru the top of the 9th for the save.

Gm 5 @ The BallPork - Warpigs win 2-1. Brandon Morrow and Jeremy Hellickson faced off in a game that featured an ALL LEFTY LINEUP by the Snakes vs an ALL RIGHTY LINEUP for the Pigs. With those lineups, it was no surprise that the game came down to Vinnie Pestano (9R) vs Rzepczynski (6L). But the fun of it all was in the bottom of the 9th. Adam Dunn, another September call up, doubled off of Pestano (missing the 1-18 triple). A ground out moved pinch runner Mike Leake to 3rd. Then the Pigs brought in Jordan Zimmermann to pinch-bunt. With Omar Infante, another A bunter, on deck, the Snakeman took a long time to deliberate before deciding to bring in Craig Kimbrel and intentionally walk both of the A bunters to pitch to Brett Lawrie. But the Pigs had another plan in mind, and pinch hit for Lawrie with Jake Westbrook, yet another A bunter. This led to...
SNAKEMAN: You sir, are an asshole.
PIGMAN: Oh, like I haven't heard THAT before.
Westbrook attempted the suicide squeeze, but naturally, the bunt ended up being a force out at home. Freddie Freeman then promptly doubled singled to end the game.

Aside from the usual NetPlay problems, this was as fun a series as I have had in a long time.

Wahoos 3, Sidewinders 2

Wahoos take 3 of 5 at the ChurchLot

4/10 SSWs 5-Wahoos 2 Lincecum beats Buehrle, Kimbrel the save

4/11 WAHOOS 6/SSWS 5 in 12 innings

7/4 Jurrjens cruises and Wahoos win 9-2;Swisher and Tex homer.

7/5 Lester and Kimbrel beat Masterson 3-1

7/6 Wolf beats Pineda; SSWs were winning 1-0 until John Jayhit a 2 run HR in the 7th

Snakes are chasing the Blue Ticks.......

Drillers 3, Killer Bees 2

Drillers take 3 of 5 at home vs Bees. We suck...and I thought I had a shot at the playoffs. I am not only getting fatter in my old age, but stupider too.

Stop me if you've heard this one...

Inmates pitcher Brandon Beachy is going to have reconstructive surgery on his right elbow Thursday and will miss the rest of the season.

Calico Joe

If you like baseball and like to read, give Calico Joe a shot. John Grisham's new book is a quick read and very entertaining.

DVs 3, Tweeners 1

Behind a remarkable technological breakthrough, the DVs eke out a 1-1 series at home and then take 2 at the HooverDome. Instead of Netplay, the DVs and Tweeners stumbled upon the "LogMeIn" shared desktop application- allowing us to play as if we were sitting next to each other and playing the 'normal' game interface. Of course the normal "TIME!" exclamation was not available, so the standard protocol was for the hitting team to swing away - while hesitating for just a couple of seconds over the dice to allow the defending team the opportunity to wrest control of the mouse in potential crucial situations. It worked without interruption, and the in between game setup was remarkably easier as well. And though it didn't come into play in these 4 games, the EQA is also available if needed.
Game scores:
Game 1 - @DVs 2 Tweeners 0
Game 2 - Tweeners 6 @DVs 3
Game 3 - DVs 5 @Tweeners 3
Game 4 - DVs 6 @Tweeners 4 (notable in this game was the Tweeners brilliant 8th inning pinch hit of Alex Presley for Wil Venable, which was followed by a 3-8 roll which turned a HR/3B chance into a K with the go ahead runs on base. I guess the PC still does suck).

Tweeners 3, Inmates 2

Tweeners win 3 of 5 to finish the season 7-3 vs. Inmates. In game 1 at the Baptist Bowl, Dan Hudson tossed a 5-hit shutout, The Kung Fu Panda homered, Tweeners won 2-0. Game 2, Tweeners blew a 3 run lead, Ryan Howard hit a walk-off, pinch-hit double off Darren Oliver in the 10th, Inmates win 4-3. In game 3 Jimmy Paredes had the walk-off hit in the bottom of the 9th, Inmates again win 4-3. To The Hooverdome for the final 2. James Loney had 3 RBIs as the Tweeners won Game 4 by a score of 5-3. In the finale the Inmates took a 5-0 lead, but the Tweeners pecked away and forced extra innings, and V-Mart hit a solo homer in the 12th for a 6-5 Tweener victory.

Warpigs 4, Sidewinders 1

Netplayed... or as we like to call it... Disconnect from Multiplayer and Reconnect.

Game 1 (at Snake Park) - Sidewinders win 4-1. Ubaldo Jimenez allowed only 3 hits over 8 innings. Stephen Drew homered for the only Pig run. Jhonny Peralta and Seth Smith both had big hits in a 3-run 8th. Craig Kimbrel earned the save. Jordan Zimmermann took the loss.

Game 2 (at Snake Park) - Warpigs win 6-5 in 10 innings. The Warpig 10th started with a walk to David Freese. Zimmermann pinch hit, and his sacrifice attempt turned into a single. The official HAL post game summary says, "Jordan Zimmermann came to the plate and ripped a one-base hit." Jake Westbrook followed with an actual pinch hit sacrifice bunt to move the runners to 2nd and 3rd. Cameron Maybin plated the go ahead run with a sacrifice fly. Mark Melancon came on for the save. Jim Thome homered twice for the Snakes. Drew hit his 2nd homer in as many games.

Game 3 (at Snake Park) - Warpigs win 2-0. Mike Minor and Marc Rzepczynski combined for the 5-hit shutout. The Pigs had only 4 hits themselves, but one of them was a 2-run homer by Freddie Freeman. John Danks took the loss.

Game 4 (at the BallPork) - Warpigs win 2-1. Zimmermann got the win. Rzepczynski got the save. Jake Peavy was the tough luck loser. Thome homered for the Snakes. The tying run scored when Maybin doubled in front of Seth Smith, who then drop-kicked the ball into the stands while Maybin raced around the bases with a little league home run.

Game 5 (at the BallPork) - Warpigs win 6-2. Peralta's double in the 7th tied the game, but Cameron Maybin threw out the potential go ahead run at home on the play. The Pigs took the momentum from that inning-ending assist and proceeded to score 4 runs in the bottom half of the inning.

In the last game, just as we had decided that 5 games of struggling with NetPlay was enough, we hit a snag. Peralta's double scored the tying run but ended the inning on a play at the plate. The Snakeman went to the pen to bring in Neftali Feliz to start the bottom of the 7th, but accidentally brought in Ubaldo. To fix the problem, I went with the Delete Last Play option. Big mistake. With NetPlay, you can't switch to manual entry to recreate the previous at bat. At first we just let Peralta hit again. He made an out, leaving the Snakes down 2-1. But that wasn't fair, so we deleted that play too. This time I just had Gee intentionally walk Peralta and the following batter to force in the tying run. The problem was, Colby Rasmus was having none of this "make an out" business and blasted a grand slam. Grrr. Delete Last Play. Finally, after the two IW's, Rasmus made an out and the world was semi-right again. On retrospect, the answer would be to go ahead and let Ubaldo pitch to a batter. Then pull him and just change the stats to make it seem as though Feliz faced that batter. NetPlay is frustrating in so many ways.

Killer Bees 3, Drillers 2

Bees take 3 of 5 at the Hive.

Warpigs 2, Wahoos 2

Dice games. All games played at The BallPork.

Game 1 - Warpigs win 3-1. Jordan Zimmermann gets the win. Mark Melancon earned the save. Geovanny Soto homered.

Game 2 - Warpigs win 7-1. Erik Bedard with the win. Melancon with another save. John Mayberry, Freddie Freeman, and JD Martinez all hit homers.

Game 3 - Wahoos win 8-7. The Wahoos scored in 5 different innings building up an 8-3 lead, and then survived three late homers by the Pigs for the win.

Game 4 - Wahoos win 5-3. The game was 0-0 in the 6th when Jimmy Rollins hit a 3-run homer off of Jeremy Hellickson. All three runs were unearned thanks to a 2-out error by Mike Moustakas.

Fungoes 5, Warpigs 5

Another great day of Strat, although without dice and cards this time. The games took place at WTF.

Game 1 (WTF Field) - Warpigs win 4-3. Despite walking 12 Fungo batters, the Pig pitchers did just enough to win the game. The Fungoes managed only 3 hits. Marc Rzepczynski got the win in relief. Dillon Gee went 2 innings for the save. Cameron Maybin hit a 2-run homer.

Game 2 (WTF Field) - Warpigs win 7-6 in 10 innings. Jeremy Hellickson took a no-hitter into the 6th inning, but Erik Hosmer hit a 3-run homer off of Gee in the 9th to cap a 5-run inning and tie the game. The Pigs scored in the top of the 10th on a hit by Maybin. Jeff Francoeur went 4-for-4.

Game 3 (WTF Field) - Warpigs win 6-0. Blake Beavan threw a complete game shutout, scattering 8 hits.

Game 4 (BallPork) - Warpigs win 6-5. Just like in his previous start, Hellickson take a big lead into the late innings only to end up with a no decision. The Fungoes scored 4 in the top of the 8th to tie the game, but John Mayberry knocked in the winning run in the bottom of the inning. Gee got another save.

Game 5 (BallPork) - Fungoes win 13-8. Jake Westbrook sucked early and often. Mike Napoli knocked in 3 runs. Brett Myers got the win.

Game 6 (BallPork) - Warpigs win 9-4. Hellickson went 6 for the win. Gee went 3 for the save.

Game 7 (BallPork) - Fungoes win 3-2 in 10 innings. Brett Gardner stole 3 bases, including a steal of home. Jonathan Papelbon threw 2 innings for the win.

Game 8 (BallPork) - Fungoes win 8-3. Ryan Zimmerman had 4 hits and Tim Stauffer went 6 innings to get the win.

Game 9 (WTF Field) - Fungoes win 7-3. In three starts, Volquez and Westbrook combined to strike out 4 batters while walking 19. David Price got the win; Papelbon the save. Orlando Hudson was 3-for-3.

Game 10 (WTF Field) - Fungoes win 6-1. Brett Myers threw a complete game 2-hitter.

Endurance Strat Record

For Strat-O-Matic duo, record was in cards

Gamers go 54 consecutive hours to set endurance mark

By Spencer Fordin / MLB.com | 06/09/12 9:20 PM ET

NEW YORK -- World records exist in all sports, even those of the armchair variety. Two dedicated fans of the venerable table-top game Strat-O-Matic Baseball made history on Saturday, passing through the 54-hour barrier to set a new world record for marathon gaming.
Brett Carow and Sam Hennemann, fans of Strat-O-Matic and friends from Minnesota, made the trip to New York City with the expressed purpose of breaking the endurance record set last summer. Foley's Pub & Restaurant served as host of the event, which started Thursday and ended Saturday.
Carow, crowned the Ultimate Strat-O-Matic Fanatic at last year's 50th anniversary celebration of the game's creation, may have been the ideal person to break the record. The 32-year-old has played more than 10,000 games in his life, but he'd never attempted a feat quite like this before.

Strat-O-Matic players Brett Carow, left, and Sam Hennemann set a world record for gaming endurance. (Spencer Fordin/MLB.com)

"Extremely exhausted," Carow said. "The low point for me was between 4 and 5 [a.m.]. We took an hour nap last night and that was the first time we slept. That was 40 hours in. That's been the struggle, fighting fatigue, fighting the need to do something else.
"But Strat-o-matic is a great game. We have new teams constantly. They're always changing. It's made it a lot easier than we thought it might be."
Carow and Hennemann played more than 100 games during their marathon gaming spree, and they were allowed five minutes of every hour to freshen up or take a break. Sometimes, they banked those five-minute increments and kept them for a longer break somewhere down the line.
But there were no showers, no change of clothes, no indulgences except for dice-rolling. Carow and Hennemann kept their limbs fresh by drinking Gatorade and eating bananas and Snickers bars, and they kept their minds right by engaging in a tournament involving some of the all-time best teams.
Over time, they found that they were engrossed as much as they were exhausted. Carow, who missed his prom after an all-night Strat-O-Matic binge and even played the game on his honeymoon, may not have been surprised by that development. For Hennemann, it was something new.
"It's more about communication and keeping each other involved," Carow said. "The beauty of it is that there really wasn't as much of a need for us to do that with each other. The game itself helped us stay involved.
"You always have a rotation of teams you're going through, and even though you've used those teams in the prior round, it's still something fresh every time you pick them up and put a new lineup together. Maybe you're facing a lefty this time, or the ballpark is different."
The previous record had been 53 hours and 59 minutes, and it had been fittingly set by a group of people playing "Last Night on Earth: The Zombie Game." Carow and Henneman briefly stopped to acknowledge breaking the record, but they planned on playing another six hours.
Hal Richman, who invented Strat-O-Matic Baseball as an 11-year-old and has turned it into an industry over the last five decades, said he never imagined this kind of achievement.
"This is 54 hours and it might go 60," Richman said. "We don't know. It's how long they can last. They've been through a couple tough moments, particularly [Friday] when they cramped up. But the bananas and the Gatorade worked. They snapped out of it. [Saturday] morning, they got up, they were tired, but they knew they had banked 46 hours in already. They knew they were in the home stretch."
The winner's circle finally appeared around 3 p.m. on Saturday, temporarily touching off a jubilant celebration at the front of Foley's and spilling out onto 33rd Street. But the two combatants -- president and vice president of a local league in Minnesota -- elected to sit right back down at the table.
"We're going to shoot for 60," Hennemann said. "We've got a tournament we still need to finish. We're in the American League Championship [Series]. We broke the 54 mark, but we've got two outs in the bottom of the ninth and a one-run lead right now in Game Two. It's a five-game series for the American League and we've got five more for the National League. And then a seven-game series for all of it."
Carow, 32 years old, said that the results had been fairly even over their two-plus days of gaming, and both players seemed genuinely interested in finding out which team would win their tournament. On top of it all, though, they had a new-found appreciation for the game and for their hobby.
Now -- for the time being, at least -- Carow and Hennemann are world record-holders.
"I never thought anything like this was possible," Carow said. "You start playing games as a kid, and if you like doing something, you do it. If you like collecting baseball cards, you do it. You don't ever think you're going to get rewarded for it, or get a chance to come to New York City and get publicity for it."
But what happens if someone breaks their record? Will Carow and Hennemann be back?
"I'm not going to do it again," Carow said. "We said that if we start out and something happens -- if we fall asleep or someone breaks a leg -- we gave it a shot. If we don't make it, that's it."

Mavs 3, DVs 2

The Mavs visited the DVs and brought their football pads and helmets as they put an old fashioned butt whipping in a series that the DVs were lucky to win the last 2.

The results:

Game 1- The Mavs Howie Kendrick kicks a late field goal and the DVs fall 6-5 as a final drive stalls at midfield as time expires.

Game 2 – The Mavs completely dominate with a 14-6 win behind 234 rushing yards by Billy Butler and Jake Arrieta’s passing attack of 320 yards and touchdown passes to Chris Young and Justin Upton.

Game 3 – Mavs score two early touchdowns behind Howie Kendrick’s rushing and Elvis Andrus tacks on both 2 point conversions in a 16-5 romp. The hapless DVs finally kick a late FG and then score the safety on the last play of the game as Matt Cain takes a knee in the end zone as a final embarrassment.

Game 4 – DVs finally slow down the Mavs as the teams match safeties to end regulation at 2. Ian Kinsler kicks a 43 yard field goal in overtime to pull out the 5-2 win.

Game 5 – DVs follow a similar pattern to game 4 and win 5-2 behind a long field goal by Curtis Granderson as regulation time expires.

Fungoes 11, FFTs 3

Fungoes sat down and played 14 vs FFTs tonight at Fire station #5.  Here are the results.

May 3:  FFTs 3 at Fungoes 1
May 4:  FFTs 3 at Fungoes 4
May 5:  FFTs 4 at Fungoes 7
June 22:  Fungoes 3 at FFTs 5
June 23:  Fungoes 6 at FFTs 2 (Ruiz lines into a game ending triple play)
June 24:  Fungoes 1 at FFTs 9
The first six games were hard fought with each team winning three.  They would be the last wins for the FFTs as the FFT wheels came completely off the wagon!

August 4:  FFTs 2 at Fungoes 3
August 5:  FFTs 2 at Fungoes 4
August 6:  FFTs 5 at Fungoes 7
August 7:  FFTs 5 at Fungoes 7
September 21:  Fungoes 7 at FFTs 1
September 22:  Fungoes 8 at FFTs 7 (after three innings FFTs enjoyed a 7-0 lead!
September 23:  Fungoes 6 at FFTs 2
September 24:  Fungoes 5 at FFTs 4