2010 Mock Draft

Admittedly, I have done almost no research on (A) the players worthy of going in the first round or (B) the needs of the teams... but here it is anyway:

1. Tweeners - Al has been keeping the identity of this choice pretty close to the vest. Maybe it's just a fear of selecting a player already on a team (Jason Heyward). And while it would seem the Tweeners are poised to compete for the Higdon this year, the pick here is the uncarded DESMOND JENNINGS.

2. Killer Bees - The Beeboy will pee all over himself with glee when BEN ZOBRIST is available at this pick.

3. Inmates - The Head Inmate selects A's youngster BRETT ANDERSON, thereby ruining any chance Anderson had of having a normal, healthy career.

4. Tweeners - Al comes to his senses briefly and takes somebody to save those wins for King Felix by taking ANDREW BAILEY.

5. Mavs - The Mavman breaks a personal guideline by going 1B with his first pick for the second year in a row with KENDRY MORALES. The good news (for me), is that now Kendry Morales and Howie Kendrick are on the same team, so I'll never have to learn which is which.

6. SuperGoofs - Phillip takes the best young starter available by selecting SCOTT FELDMAN with this pick.

7. Fungoes - The Fungoes, while disappointed in missing out on Feldman, are more than happy to grab the best OLD starter in the Draft, JOEL PINEIRO.

8. Nads - The Nads are beside himself (creating a PAIR of Nads) with joy when Rookie of the Year CHRIS COGHLAN slides to #8.

9. Zaps - The only hole in the Pasta roster is relief, so the Zapper takes MATT GURRIER. Just imagining the possible pronunciations gives us all something to look forward to.

10. Fungoes - The Fungoes fill out that rotation by taking another starter, KEVIN CORREIA. The Warpigs took two starters in round one last year, so this is obviously the key to winning. This could be the year of the Fungo.

11. Sidewinders - What does the guy who needs nothing take? I'll reach a little here and say WADE DAVIS.

12. Drillers - Finding it hard to believe this guy was somebody's CUT, the Driller Dude takes the uncarded MIKE STANTON.

13. Rhinos - I know the idea of the Rhinos NOT taking another young stud for his corral is hard to accept, but I have faith the Rhinos will draft for need this year: JOSH OUTMAN, the best lefty reliever in a very meager crop.

14. Sidewinders - Actually, there may be a weak link in this juggernaut: left field. And since Michael Cuddyer can't play LF, the Snakeman reaches again for WILL VENABLE. Speaking of reaches, it's not really a reach when your two first round picks are players 30 and 31 on your team.

15. Buckeyes - The Buckeyes have already mathematically clinched the MFD, so they grab the perfect Buckeye card, RANDY RUIZ, to help get them back to the Series.

16. Buckeyes - The last pick of the first round is a guy who COULD be the first pick... MICHAEL CUDDYER.