Inmates vs Buckeyes

Buckeyes 4, Inmates 3

Netplay at its most magnificent enjoyable fucked. Inmates LDMF score once in the four losses. No losing team scores more than two runs, with four shutouts thrown.

Buckeyes 2 – LDMF 0 (Testicle Park): Carpenter shuts out the LDMF on 3 hits. Shit.

Inmates 8 – Buckeyes 1 (Testicle Park): Betemit and Gonzalez go yard; Billingsley Ks 12 in a CG.

Buckeyes 1 – LDMF 0 (Testicle Park): LDMF gets all of 2 fucking hits, while the Shriveled Testicle Gang gets walk-off win in 9^th on a single with everyone in.

Buckeyes 3 – LDMF 1 (Testicle Park): LDMF gets 3 more hits, while Anderson gives up two cranks to someone. FUCK!

Buckeyes 3 – NoDickMotherFuckers 0 (Baptist Bowl): Another fucking 2-hitter. @#&&^#^*@$&@^(&!! (read: FFFFUUUUCCCCKKKK!!!!)

Inmates 8 – Buckeyes 0 (Baptist Bowl): At least we return SHO the favor. Wood goes the distance.

Inmates 4 – Buckeyes 2 (Baptist Bowl): But we only got 3 fucking hits. Back-to-back doubles by Francisco and Gonzalez in the 2^nd, and a pinch tater by Colvin in the 7^th.

The HEAD INMATE

DVs at Rhinos

Rhinos 3, DVs 2

gm 1 - Rhinos win 9-4
gm 2 - Rhinos win 5-4 on a pinch hit, walk off single in the bottom of the 9th.
gm 3 - Rhinos win 5-2
gm 4 - DVs win 4-2
gm 5 - DVs win 8-4

Tweeners at Warpigs

Tweeners 1, Pigs 0

Just one game to keep the Tweeners demerit-free. Tweeners win 3-1 behind a solid performance from Dallas Braden.

Rhinos vs SuperGoofs

Rhinos 7, Goofs 7

Rhinos go 4-3 at home and 3-4 on the road.

Buckeyes vs Wahoos

Buckeyes 5, Wahoos 5

April 15: Buckeyes 6, at Wahoos 3

April 16: Buckeyes 5, at Wahoos 2

May 28: Wahoos 2, at Buckeyes 1 (16 innings)

May 29: at Buckeyes 2, Wahoos 1 (11 innings)

July 10: at Wahoos 5, Buckeyes 4

July 11: at Wahoos 4, Buckeyes 3

July 12: Buckeyes 2, at Wahoos 1

Aug. 23: Wahoos 9, at Buckeyes 7

Aug. 24: at Buckeyes 3, Wahoos 2

Aug. 25: Wahoos 6, at Buckeyes 4

Buckeyes outscore Wahoos, 37-35. Wahoos ERA: 2.85. Buckeyes ERA: 2.48.

Buckeyes hit .224 as a team. Wahoos hit .225 as a team.

Justin Morneau was 2-for-17. Kevin Youkilis was 7-for-34. Wilson Ramos was 9-for-15 (with 2 non-throwing errors). Dustin Pedroia led the team in RBIs with 5. However, he only hit .176 in 17 at-bats.

Gabby Sanchez was 1-for-2 with a game-winning extra-inning homer for the Buckeyes (off Fuentes). Martin Prado hit .326 in 43 at-bats. He tied for the series lead in RBIs with 7. David Ortiz only hit .216 but had 7 RBIs. Alex Rios, Jorge Posada, Chipper Jones and Yunel Escobar were all regulars and all hit .188 or under.

Uehara pitched 7 innings of 1-hit ball out of the bullpen. Evan Meek burned 11 innings but was super tough to get on against.

Warpigs vs Rhinos

Pigs 8, RhinoSultans 6

The first 7 were played at Rhino Park.

Gm 1 - Pigs win 1-0. Great battle between Anibal Sanchez and C.C. Sabathia was decided in the top of the 9th on an RBI double by Donnie Murphy.

Gm 2 - Pigs win 10-7. Ross Ohlendorf gets the crap knocked out of him, but somehow hangs around long enough to get the victory. Magglio Ordonez hits 2 homers and knocks in 5 runs.

Gm 3 - Pigs win 8-1. Cliff Lee goes 8 strong innings and the Pig bats beat up on Josh Beckett.

Gm 4 - Pigs win 9-2. Clayton Richard throws the complete game. Josh Beckett gets beat up again. Jim Thome and Carlos Santana combine to go 4/6 with 2 homers and 7 RBI.

Gm 5 - Pigs win 5-4. Cliff Lee bests C.C. Sabathia when Albert Pujols hits an 8th inning 2-run homer.

Gm 6 - Pigs win 2-0. Anibal Sanchez only goes 6, but the bullpen is masterful in holding on to his second straight shut out of the Rhinos. Brett Cecil tosses a complete game but takes the loss.

Gm 7 - Pigs win 7-4. I was wrong about Ohlendorf having the crap knocked out of him earlier; he apparently had more crap left. And AGAIN it was knocked out of him and AGAIN he came away with a win.

And yes, for those of you scoring at home, the Warpigs won the first 7 games of the evening. The Rhinos commented, "We just got Wahoo'd!" And then...

The final 7 games were played at the BallPork.

Gm 1 - Rhinos win 7-1. Edwin Jackson proves unhittable in the complete game victory. Troy Tulowitzki homers and drives in 5.

Gm 2 - Rhinos win 4-1. This time it's Sabathia and the bullpen that keep the impotent Pig bats impotent.

Gm 3 - Rhinos win 7-6. Some shodding fielding by the Pigs led to 3 unearned runs and an early 6-0 deficit. The Pigs came back to tie the game, but Alex Gordon hit his second homer of the game in the 8th inning for the win.

Gm 4 - Pigs win 9-1. This would be the only game out of 14 that the home team won. The win goes to the now crap-free Ross Ohlendorf, who held the Rhinos to 4 hits over 8 1/3 innings.

Gm 5 - Rhinos win 4-1. Trevor Cahill surrenders 3 homers, and Sabathia goes the distance for the win. A Pujols homer helps the Pigs avoid the shutout.

Gm 6 - Rhinos win 5-2. Pig hurler Clayton Richard pitched well, but his bullpen blew a 2-1 lead when little used CF Lorenzo Cain, a September call up, not only allowed a routine fly ball to drop in for a bases clearing double, but then also drop-kicked the ball into the stands while Joey Votto circled the bases for a Little League Home Run. The 8th inning gaffe changed a 2-1 Pig lead into a 5-2 Pig deficit. We tried to interview Cain after the game, but he was nowhere to be found. In fact, he is now listed as a missing person, or as the Pig PR director called him, a missing piece of shit.

Gm 7 - Rhinos win 7-3. Fuck this fucking game.

Fungoes at FFTs

Fungoes 2, FFTs 1

WTF-ers traveled to FFT-land for a three game set. Fungoes win games one and three. Here are the highlights:

Game one:

Fungoes 011 201 301 - 9 13 0

FFTs 000 100 010 - 2 9 0

Catcher Matt Wieters slammed a home run and had 4 RBI as the FUNGOES topped the FFT'S by a score of 9 to 2 at FFT Stadium. The FFT fans didn't appreciate the big day Wieters had. He ripped a one-base hit resulting in a run in the 4th inning, smacked a three-run homer in the 7th inning and stroked a base-hit in the 9th inning. The FUNGOES kept the pressure on throughout the contest as they scored in 6 different innings. The winning pitcher was Brett Myers who allowed 2 runs in 7 innings. Ervin Santana was the losing pitcher. He allowed 7 hits and 4 walks in 5 and 2/3 innings.

Game two:

Fungoes 000 000 010 - 1 6 0

FFTs 200 000 03x - 5 9 1

Josh Hamilton hit a home run and had 3 RBI as the FFT'S topped the FUNGOES by a score of 5 to 1 at FFT Stadium. The FFT fans enjoyed the offense provided by "Hammering" Hamilton. He tripled which plated a run in the 1st inning, lashed a single in the 3rd inning and popped a two-run clout over the fence in the 8th inning. The FFTs ended up with 9 hits for the game while the FUNGOES had 6. The victory was credited to James McDonald who went 7 and 2/3 innings, allowing 1 run. Mariano Rivera earned the save, his 32nd. David Price suffered the loss.

Game three:

Fungoes 000 020 001 - 3 4 0

FFTs 000 000 001 - 1 6 1

Clayton Kershaw and Jered Weaver treated the FFT fans to a fine
pitching duel at the Ball Park. The FUNGOES eventually emerged as
victors over the FFT'S by the score of 3 to 1.

The FUNGOES tallied 2 runs in the top of the 5th inning when they came up with 3
base hits. They would prove to be the difference in the contest. The FUNGI had
only 4 hits for the night.

Joel Zumaya recorded the save, his 1st.

NET PLAY WORKED!!!!!!!!

Inmates vs FFTs

FFTs 4, Inmates 1

Several wild games, with a return to LDMF normalcy:

FFTs 5 – LDMF 2 (at FFTs): A non-descript, B-flat game with the FFTs jumping out in front early and hanging on for the win. Betemit misses two 1-15 HR chances (where’s that “1” now?) and settles for doubles.

Inmates 9 – FFTs 3 (at FFTs): Inmates get hits in only four innings, but bunch together 5 in the second, 5 in the fourth, and 4 in the seventh for all of the runs. Billingsley tosses a complete game.

FFTs 7 – LDMF 6 (12) (at FFTs): LDMF score 3 in top of the first to look like they’d get another easy win. Then, heeding advice from Inmate management, Floyd keeps the ball in the strike zone and allows the first 8 FFTs to reach base in the bottom of the first. 6 runs score. To add insult to injury, LDMF pitchers hold the FFTs scoreless until the 12^th as the LDMF caught up. A throwing error by Suzuki aided in the total meltdown in the 12^th.

FFTs 6 – LDMF 4 (11) (Baptist Bowl): A 3-run homer by Howard in the 8^th, followed by a solo shot in the bottom of the 9^th by FuckYouDome allowed the LDMF to give the game away in extra-innings again. Not only did the pitching staff pitch 23 innings in two days, but lost them both.

FFTs 6 – LDMF 0 (Baptist Bowl): Floyd pitching BP again. LDMF are shut out on 10 (!?!) hits. Among the three DPs hit into by the losers was one that went 1-2-3, and another that went 8-3.

Go figure.

The HEAD INMATE

SuperGoofs at Sidewinders

Snakes 3, Goofs 2

April 10 - Goofs 0 SSW 4 Jimenez complete game 5 hitter. Branyan's HR drives in 3

April 11 - Goofs 2 SSW 3 (20 innings!!!) Wright doubled and scored on Bruce's single. It was a game that would never end.

July 3 - Goofs 4 SSW 12 Sanchez throws a complete game. SSW knocked out 13 hits

July 4 - Goofs 12 SSW 10 Goofs finally start hitting. Choo drives in 3. Hunter and Phllips 3 hits each

July 5 Goofs 5 SSW 4 Hunter with 3 more hits. Johnson had 4 hits. Garcia and 2 relievers hold on for win.

SuperGoofs at Tweeners

Goofs 4, Tweeners 1

April 13 - Goofs 3 Tweeners 2 (14 innings) Johnson's double scored Overbay in the 14 inning

April 14 - Goofs 5 Tweeners 3 2 Goof runs in 9th win it for Garcia

July 7 Goofs 9 Tweeners 6 Ramirez 4 RBIs. Lewis gets the win

July 8 Goofs 4 Tweeners 2 (13 innings) Another extra inning game. Hunter's 2 run homer in 13th wins it

July 9 Goofs 4 Tweeners 5. Hernandez complete game win salvages one for Tweeners

SuperGoofs at Mavs

Mavs 3, Goofs 2

April 15 Goofs 7 Mavs 2 - Choo with 3 hits and Denorfia a key triple. Hunter and Huff homer as Lewis gets the win

April 16 Goofs 2 Mavs 3 (12 innings) - Torrealba's double in12 th wins it for Mavs

July 10 Goofs 1 Mavs 2 Bucholz goes 8 with 5 hits. Upton and Butler with RBIs

July 11 Goofs 1 Mavs 2 - Haywards hit offAdams in 7th scores winning run

July 12 Goofs 3 Mavs 0 - Piniero and 2 relievers combine for shutout. Choo has 3 hits

Warpigs at DVs

DVs 2, Pigs 0

Netplay. September games. Debacle.

Gm 1 - DVs win 10-9. Riddle me this... A relief pitcher goes 1/3 of an inning. He allows 0 hits and 0 walks. There are no batters hit by pitch. There are no errors, wild pitches, or passed balls. He strikes out 1. And yet... he allows an earned run. How does this happen?

The DVs' Aramis Ramirez continues to dominate the Warpigs, hitting a grand slam that leads the DVs to a 9-1 lead after 6 innings. But then Jim Thome hits a grand slam of his own in a 7-run 7th inning to get the Pigs back in the game.

Part of the DV onslaught was an inning that saw Rafael Soriano achieve the scenario listed earlier. Here's what happened. The first batter Soriano faced struck out. The second batter attempted a squeeze bunt. The result was "defense" and the runner going home was 1-4. We threw home. He was safe (naturally). Soriano came out and Sean Marshall allowed a grand slam to the pinch-hitting Ramirez.

Gm 2 - DVs 17, Pigs 4. The [fucking] DVs scored 14 [fucking] runs in the 3rd [fucking] inning on 12 straight 2-out [fucking] hits. That is [fucking] all.

DVs at Warpigs

DVs 1, Warpigs 1

NetPlay snags solved, the doubleheader at the BallPork was finally completed.

Gm 1 - Warpigs 9, DVs 8 - The Pigs rallied from an early 7-2 deficit. Jonathan Lucroy and Aramis Ramirez both homered their first two times up for the DVs, but it was a 5-run 7th that won it for the Pigs.

Gm 2 - DVs 5, Warpigs 2 - Francisco Liriano shut down the Pig bats for the win. Matt Holliday homered. Albert Pujols homered in both games of the double header.

DVS vs Warpigs

Pigs 3, DVs 1

More netplay fun. We only tried to get a netplay connection maybe 30 times. And when we lost connection late in the 5th game, we could not finish the series. Maybe later (the DVs led in the 5th game, so I think we should just forget that one and start it again.)

First three games were played at DV Park.

Gm 1 - DVs win 7-2. A 5-run first off of Anibal Sanchez was enough. Brian McCann homered twice.

Gm 2 - Pigs win 5-4. The DVs were in command in this game as well, with the Pigs bumbling and fumbling their way (3 errors!). Then the Pigs erupted for 4 runs in the top of the 9th for the win.

Gm 3 - Pigs win 4-1. In a game in which no one drew a walk, Andy Pettitte, with late help from Heath Bell and Joakim Soria, gets the win.

The final game today was played at the BallPork.

Gm 1 - Pigs win 4-2. In the loss, DV John Lackey returns to his old stomping ground and throws a complete game without striking out a single batter.

FFTs vs Warpigs

FFTs 6, Pigs 2

Finished our series via netplay today. It was NOT fun.

The first 3 were played at FFT Park.

Gm 1 - FFTs win 3-2 in 10 innings. Manny Ramirez hits a 2-run homer and then in the 10th, lays down a sacrifice bunt to move the eventual winning run into scoring position. This game is obviously not realistic.

Gm 2 - FFTs win 4-3. A 3-run homer by Josh Hamilton in the 3rd holds up.

Gm 3 - Warpigs win 7-6 in 10 innings. The FFTs rally in the 9th to tie, but strand the winning runner at 3rd. The Pigs win in 10.

The next 3 were played at the BallPork.

Gm 1 - FFTs win 13-2. This was the only game out of our 10 that wasn't a 1-run game. Cahill gets his ass handed to him, but he's a trooper and stays in for 8 innings.

Gm 2 - FFTs win 3-2. Jered Weaver goes the distance and the FFTs come from behind again to win.

Gm 3 - FFTs win 7-6 in 13 innings. A 3-run homer from Michael Young brought the FFTs back from an early 5-1 deficit.

The last 2 were played at FFT Park with full rosters.

Gm 1 - FFTs win 5-4. A 3-run bottom of the 8th brought the FFTs from behind one more fucking time.

Gm 2 - Warpigs win 4-3. I seriously think the FFTs threw this game. That's about the only way to explain a Pig win.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;

The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,

And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;

But there is no joy in Mudville — because the Warpigs suck.

DVs at Warpigs

Warpigs 2, DVs 0

The Pigs sweep a pair of Netplay games.

Gm 1 - Pigs 6, DVs 5 - The DVs scored 4 in the top of the 9th when Andy Pettitte finally tired. Sean Marshall got the save. Magglio Ordonez, Geovanny Soto, and Angel Pagan all homered off of Francisco Liriano.

Gm 2 - Pigs 7, DVs 1 - The Pigs hit 5 homers off of DV ace Roy Halladay, including 2 by Carlos Santana. Anibal Sanchez goes the distance for the win.

Trade

The Killer Bees traded Tommy Hanson to the Zaps for Prince Fielder.

FFTs at Warpigs

Pigs 2, FFTs 0

We finally got NetPlay to work for us, and we were so pleased that we played 2 games to celebrate.

6/16 - Pigs win 3-2 in 10 innings. Jered Weaver allowed only 2 hits in 7 innings, but Jamey Carroll chased him off with an RBI single in the 8th. Then Angel Pagan squeezed home the tying run in the 9th. After Ichiro's cannon arm nailed Stephen Drew at the plate for the 2nd out in the bottom of the 10th, Ryan Sweeney singled home Albert Pujols for the walk off win. Anibal Sanchez went 9 innings, but got a no decision. Sean Marshall pitched the top of the 10th for the win. Josh Hamilton led the FFTs with 3 hits, including a homer.

6/17 - Pigs win 5-4. Jim Thome tripled home 2 runners in the 8th inning to extend a 3-2 lead to 5-2. Rafael Soriano, Matt Thornton, and Joakim Soria then hung on for a 5-4 win. Stephen Drew hit a 2-run homer in the third. Andy Pettitte got the win and Ervin Santana took the loss.

Buckeyes at Killer Bees

Buckeyes 3, Bees 2

Buckeyes 3 Bees 2 in 5 at Bees

May 1 Bees 9 Buckeyes 6 Hudson winner, Verlander the save. Cano, Barajas, Edmonds all homer

May 2 Buckeyes 4 Bees 1 D. Lowe throws a complete game 4 hitter outdueling Verlander. Nix and Chipper get 2 hits each

Sep 7 Buckeyes 4 Bees 3 (13 innings) Buck hits homer in 13 for the win. It was his second of the game as he drives in all 4 runs.

Sep 8 Bees 5 Buckeyes 4 Wagner shuts us down to get the save. Weeks 3 run homer of Lowe was the difference

Sep 9 Buckeyes 5 Bees 4 Carpenter the win and Meek the save. Big Papi with a homer and Pence 2 doubles to beat Cueto

Wahoos vs Fungoes

Wahoos 4, Fungoes 1

Wahoos and Fungoes rolled dice this morning. Here's how it went.

Game 1:

Wahoos win, 4-1, at the Fungoes. Youkilis hit a 3-run homer in the fourth inning and a solo shot in the sixth. The Fungoes scored their only run in the first. Tommy Hunter gave up 6 hits and a walk while going all the way.

Game 2:

Wahoos win, 3-0, at the Fungoes. Nolasco throws the 10-inning complete game shutout. He allowed three hits and one walk. He struck out 10. Austin Jackson hit a 2-run double in the 10th and then scored on a Johnny Damon double.

Game 3:

Fungoes win on the road, 5-3. Wahoos scored 3 runs in the first but squandered chances throughout. Fungoes scored 2 in the seventh to snap a 3-3 tie.

Game 4:

Wahoos lean on the bullpen for four shutout innings in a 5-4 home victory. Bases-loaded walk to Dustin Pedroia was the winner in the sixth inning. Tim Stauffer continued his struggles vs. the Wahoos. Jed Lowrie homered for the Wahoos.

Game 5:

Fausto Carmons goes all the way in a 4-0 home victory. He allowed 4 hits and 3 walks but was helped by 3 caught stealings. Wahoos only managed 5 hits.

Wahoos outscored the Fungoes, 19-10 in the series.

And from the Fungo:

It doesn't seem as bad hearing it from the Wahoos perspective......Fungoes have now lost 9 of the last 12.........ouch!

DVs at SuperGoofs

Goofs 3, DVs 2

DVs avoid the demerit police while watching a "Best of THE VIEW Marathon".

Goofs take the first 3 games 2-0 (Volstad and Adams combine on a shutout), 6-5 (DVs never led and Garcia pitches like the 1^st round pick he is) and 6-5 (a 10^th inning walk off walk by Cust wins it). DVs win games 4 and 5, both by the score of 5-1 as Ka’ahihue goes 4 for 4 with 3 HR’s in the first game and Halladay sends the Goofs home crestfallen in the last game.

DVs are just glad that The View offers such great, insightful points of view - especially now with Oprah having retired her show.

Rhinos at Fungoes

Rhinos 2, Fungoes 0

Fungoes and Rhinos complete the season series with a double header today at WTF. Here are the crappu results!

Game 1 @ WTF.

Rhinos 0 0 1 3 2 0 0 3 1 - 10 13 1

Fungoes 1 0 1 0 1 1 1 2 0 - 7 11 1

Right fielder Alex Gordon rocketed 3 homeruns and had 4 RBI as the FUKING RHINOS
outscored the WTF FUNGOES 10 to 7.

Gordon propelled the victory. He ripped a solo home run in the 4th
inning, lifted one out of the park for a two run home run in the 5th inning
and smashed a solo-shot out of the park in the 9th inning. DEREK scored in 6
different innings, but their shaky pitching kept them from victory.

The win went to Brett Cecil who allowed 5 runs in 6 and 2/3 innings.
Jonny Venters got the save, his 1st. Clayton Kershaw was the losing
pitcher.

'It's almost like the ball was trying to hit my bat,' Gordon said. 'Whenever I
would swing, the ball found the sweet spot.'

Game 2 @ WTF.

Rhinos 0 0 0 0 0 1 2 0 0 - 3 8 0

Fungoes 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 - 1 6 0

In a game for the baseball purist :( , Jeff Francis and Jon Garland
squared off in a tense pitching duel, the RHINOS finally emerged victorious
over the WFTers, 3 to 1.

The Losers never recovered after the Rhinos took the lead in the 6th inning plating an
isolated run. The game was a scoreless duel until the 6th inning.

Francis got help from John Axford who earned his 1st save.

How much fun was that!!!

Inmates vs Warpigs

Inmates 3, Warpigs 1

Warpigs 5 – Inmates 3 (Ballpork): Three Pig taters are enough to wup the Beakless Chicken Gang.

Inmates 11 – Warpigs 3 (Ballpork): Five Inmate homers and a strong performance by Santana puts the Pigs away early. The “1” die makes more than one evil appearance.

Inmates 13 – Warpigs 4 (Baptist Bowl): Inmates blast 18 hits, including a slammer by Howard, to obliterate Pig pitchers. Pig management is convinced of satanic influences on the demonic “1” die.

Inmates 8 – Warpigs 5 (Baptist Bowl): “If that die rolls another one, it’ll be out in that pasture behind us.” Within an inning, Fukudome pinch hits a triple on, you guessed it, a TR 1/Si 2-20. For good measure, another “1” roll on an outfielder X-chance is wasted, since it was hit to Pagan.

Un-fucking real die rolls. Not necessarily in the clutch, or when close (several “1s” were on 1-16 type of rolls), but uncanny to say the least.

Inmates vs Fungoes

Inmates 3, Fungoes 2

Fungoes 5 – Inmates 2 (10)(Baptist Bowl): Gonzalez can’t score on 1-17 play at the plate, forcing game into extra innings. Closer Perez comes on for Inmates with 0.87 ERA, and promptly gives up 3 hits and a homer without getting an out.

Inmates 8 – Fungoes 2 (Baptist Bowl): Howard, Gonzalez, and Suzuki (“don’t call me pussy”) hit homers for the Inmates, while Santana pitches 7 strong innings.

Inmates 16 – Fungoes 1 (Baptist Bowl): The vaunted Inmate “1” begins its insidious (and somewhat embarrassing) run. Inmates score 4 in each of the first three innings; Floyd Ks 10 in a CG.

Betemit 3 – Fungoes 2 (WTF): A pair of taters for Betemit and all the ribbies, coupled with 8.1 from Santana give the Inmates another W. The “1” die continues its quest for world domination.

Fungoes 4 – Inmates 2 (WTF): Fungoids salvage Tweener Split, despite more statistically preposterous “1” rolls by the Inmates.

Fungoes played a Memorial Weekend series at WTF vs the Inmates with the following results:

Game 1 @ the Baptist Bowl.

Fungoes 000 100 100 3 5 11 0

Inmates 000 000 200 0 2 9 0

Kershaw gets the start but Dessens picks up the win in relief. Frieri nails down the save for the Fungi. Nelson Cruz hits the 3-run dinger in the top of the tenth for the winning runs.

Game 2 @ the Baptist Bowl.

Fungoes 010 000 010 2 8 0

Inmates 024 100 10X 8 9 0

Garland gets the shellacking at the hands of the Inmates (and the 1-sided die)! Inmates score early and often and then hold on to win.

Game 3 @ the Baptist Bowl.

Fungoes 000 000 001 1 6 2

Inmates 444 000 40X 16 18 1

Porcello gets rocked by the Inmates (and we can't blame it all on the 1-die) but hangs in there for the complete game loss! Ouch!!

Game 4 @ WTF.

Inmates 000 001 020 3 7 0

Fungoes 000 100 001 2 9 0

Down 3-1 in the ninth the Fungoes squander a bases loaded no out situation only scoring once. Kershaw takes the hard luck loss.

Game 5 @ WTF

Inmates 010 000 010 2 8 2

Fungoes 100 010 20X 4 11 1

Garland picks up the win and Frieri grabs another save earning the Fungoes the Tweener split!!!

As a small footnote; the Inmate 20-sided die must have about 19 ones, though to be fair in game one he couldn't roll a 1-17 to score and win it in nine innings..........Cruz repaid that kindness with the three run dinger in the tenth.......

Go Fungoes!!

Killer Bees at Buckeyes

Buckeyes 4, Bees 1

Buckeyes go 4-1 against the Bees at your place. We hate your fuckin park...I must have missed at least 6 or 7 ballpark homer chances.

Bees

Killer Bees at SuperGoofs

Bees 3, Goofs 2

Bees go 3-2 at your place.

(Editor's note: Ya gotta like that Beeboy's way with words.)

Drillers at Tweeners

Tweeners 3, Drillers 2

Drillers 2 At Tweeners 3

4/22 Drillers lose 9 - 8 at Hoover Dome in a game where these two teams
somehow combine to score 17?
4/23 Drillers out hit Tweeners 13 - 7 and see Rajai Davis deliver the game
winning hit off Gregorson in the 8th for a 7 -5 Driller win.
4/24 After FIFTEEN innings we stand around waiting for Nick Hundley to kick
one in RF to give Driller Nation a 2 - 1 victory.
7/18 Tweeners win 3 - 2 .
7/19 Driller's tying run thrown out at plate in top of ninth as we waste an
awesome outing from Javier Vazquez with a 2 - 1 loss.

Sidewinders at SuperGoofs

Snakes 3, Goofs 2

Snakes take 3 of 5 from the Goofs. It was a very tight series. All the games were decided by one run.

5/23 Jimenez wins,Feliz saves the 3-2 victory.Huff homers.

5/24 Danks allows 2 hits in 3-2 loss. Zito wins and Adams gets the save. BTW- those 2 hits were homeruns by Hunter and Quentin.

5/25 John Jaso doubles home the winning run in the bottom of 13th for 9-8 Goofs win.

8/18 J Garcia goes the distance for the 4-3 Goof loss. Morrow wins and Feliz saves the game. Rare 3 run HR by D Wright....

8/19 Jimenez wins,Feliz with a 2 inning save. Ryan Kalish hits 2 run HR, Snakes win 4-3. Broxton is the loser,wasting a nice outing by Pineiro.

ssws

Tweeners at Drillers

Tweeners 3, Drillers 2

Donkeys fly, we won a series. Game one Wainwright gets no help again, 4th start in which we give him zero run support. V-Mart's single to lead off the 7th breaks up Romero's no-hitter, then he is immediately caught stealing. Tweeners lose 1-0.

Then we start using the "s" key rather than "enter" for Tweeners' batters, and we win 3 in a row. In game 2, Corey Hart smacked 2 homeruns and had 5 RBI as the NORM TWEENERS defeated the SHAWN DRILLERS 6 to 1 at AT&T Park. Hart provided much of the offense. He doubled in the 5th inning, clubbed a solo home run in the 8th inning and lost the ball over the fence for three runs in the 9th inning. NORM had 7 hits for the afternoon. The win went to Felix Hernandez(4-4) who allowed 1 run in 6 and 2/3 innings. The losing pitcher was Jeff Niemann(4-6). 'I just got in the box, looked for a pitch and swung,' Hart said. 'That's it'

We then swept the 9/1 doubleheader. In game 1, Center fielder Vernon Wells lofted one into the 'cheap seats' and had 3 RBI and Sergio Romo slammed the door on SHAWN as the NORM TWEENERS topped the SHAWN DRILLERS by a score of 6 to 5 at AT&T Park. NORM scored the winning runs in the 8th inning plating 2 runs. After an out was recorded, Luke Scott was the sparkplug when he drew a walk. One out later, Nick Swisher stepped in and he drew a walk. Pinch-hitter James Loney then tripled (on a 1-4/fly roll). Alex Gonzalez was next to bat, but he was a strikeout victim. Romo was great in relief and recorded his 3rd save. Felix Hernandez(5-4) got the win allowing 5 runs in 7 innings. Tim Lincecum(1-5) was given the loss. His ERA ballooned from 4.65 to 4.97 as he allowed 6 runs in 7 and 2/3 innings.

In the nightcap, Adam Wainwright whiffed 11 batters as the NORM TWEENERS outscored the SHAWN DRILLERS in 12 innings 6 to 4. Both teams were tied at 4 runs apiece after nine innings. NORM ended up winning it in the 12th inning. Ben Zobrist led off the inning for NORM when he doubled. Jose Tabata came next and he drew a walk. Nick Swisher then laid down a sacrifice bunt. Shane Victorino followed next and he banged out a single. The score went back-and-forth with the lead changing 5 times. The victory went to Sergio Romo(2-3) who went 1 inning, allowing no runs. Luke Gregerson recorded the save, his 2nd. Jon Rauch(2-1) absorbed the loss in relief.

Tweeners' offense reverts to form in game 5 as we get 4 hits and lose 2-1. Mad-Bum pitches well (again) and runs his record to 1-7.

Mavs at SuperGoofs

Mavs 3, Goofs 2

Sorry I took so long. Got a lot going on at work. Mavs take 3 of 5. The second game was the wild one. Be sure to check that one out.

MavMan

1- Mavs win 5-4
2- Mavs win 13-12
3- Mavs win 7-1
4- Goofs win 12-3
5- Goofs win 6-5

Tweeners at SuperGoofs

Goofs 3, Tweeners 2

Game 1 shutout by Piniero nullifies a strong outing by Wainwright, the 7th time in 59 games Tweeners failed to score. We split the Ewing Oiler doubleheader; the 4-3 loss in the opener featured K-Rod's BS+L. In the nightcap we jump on Volquez for 6 ER in 1.2 and hold on for a 10-7 win; 2 HR by Luke Scott. Wainwright sucked in game 4, Goofs win 9-3. We salvage the split by taking the finale 6-2 behind Gio Gonzalez's 12K CG. Scott drove in all our runs with 2 more HRs, including a granny. I swear someday we will start to win some of these series, probably just in time to nail down that #10 pick. I move that we amend the rules so that the non-playoff team with the best record gets the #1 pick.

DVs at Killer Bees

DVs 3, Bees 2

Game 1 – Bees win 7-6 in a 15 inning affair.

Game 2 – DVs win 4-3 as Lackey (sucks) overcomes 3 solo home runs by the Bees

Game 3 – DVs win 5-0 as Halladay spins a 1 hitter (Ramon Hernandez double in the 6^th – yeah THAT’S realistic)

Game 4 – Bees win 7-5 as Scott Rolen’s 3 run HR in the 8^th garners a come from behind win

Game 5 - DVs win 5-3. No game report as DVs found awesome internet porn which was quite distracting

Buckeyes at Sidewinders

Buckeyes 4, Snakes 1

Jun 16 GPB 1 SSW 0 - Meek wins in relief. Only run scored was C Jones on a Rios single

June 17 GPB 6 SSW 0 - Carpenter and 2 relievers shutout SSW for second straight game. Buck with a 3 run HR and Big Papi 2 solo shots off Jimenez

July 28 GPB 6 SSW 5 Big Papi another big HR and a double. Barton also homered. K. Loe the win in relief.

July 29 (1) SSW 4 GPB 1 - Rasmus with an HR and Branyan drives in2. Danks strikeout 10 and Feliz come on for the save.

July 29 (2) GPB 10 SSW 8. Big Papi caps off a great 5 games with 4 hits and 5 RBI's with 2 of the hits HR's. Morrow gives up 5 unearned runs in 4th on a Rasmus error.

Sidewinders at Drillers

Drillers 4, Snakes 1

Drillers take 4 of 5

4/19 Drillers 4-3 Vlad and Posey go yard,Wilson saves Hammel's win.

4/20 Snakes win 2-1 on Branyan SF in the 8th

4/21 all scoring is over after 2 innings. Drillers win 2-1. Morrow with CG loss. Wilson saves Haren's win. Konerko with solo HR.

7/15 Haren beats Peavy, Drillers roll 9-6 behind Posey and Konerko homers

7/16 Drillers win 7-1;Romero beats Jimenez.

ssws

Inmates at SuperGoofs

Goofs 5, Limpdickmotherfuckers 0

(all games at the GoofDome)

Goofs 5 – LDMF 2: Inmates manage 4 fucking hits and suck big time.

Goofs 3 – LDMF 2 (10): Inmates manage 4 singles and suck big time (squared).

Goofs 4 – LDMF 1: Inmates get 9 hits and still can’t score. They couldn’t score in a whore house full of nymphomaniacs.

Nymphomaniac Whores 4 – LDMF 0: See?

Goofs 7 – LDMF 3: Jones hits a three-run homer for LDMF. Goof starter Pineiro is immediately crucified, drawn, quartered, and made fun of by all fans in GoofLand. His self-esteem may never be the same.

The HEAD Limpdickmotherfucker

Mavs at Drillers

Mavs 5, Drillers 0 (Mavs sweep! Baseball version)

well I kept waiting for the Driller bats to wake up. I guess that will happen in the games you play. I will send a rotation and manager later this week.

The Mav score is the first one.

May 18	1-0
May 19	6-4
May 20	7-3
August 12	9-4
August 13	4-0

Zaps at Drillers

Zaps 4, Drillers 1

Game 1- Walker hits a game-winning tater in the 10^th

Game 2- Three solo shots back up Greinke’s strong start

Game 3- Johnson & League combine to shut out the Drillers

Game 4- Greinke has another strong start & Utley launches 2 taters

Game 5- Zaps win a slugfest behind Abreu’s two taters.

Inmates at Drillers

Drillers 4, Inmates 1

Inmates lose 4 of 5 at Oklahomo Stadium.

23 May: Drillers 4 – Inmates 3 (12)

Chacin comes on in the 12^th, retires no batters.

24 May: Drillers 3 – Inmates 2 (12)

Pennington’s clutch error in the bottom of the 12^th hands Drillers another W.

25 May: Drillers 2 – Inmates 1

Only a Gonzalez tater with two outs in the 9^th prevent Inmates from being shutout. The three Inmate hits give a total of seven in the last two games (21 innings).

18 August: Drillers 5 – Inmates 2

Drillers score three in the bottom of the 8^th thanks to two (2) Pennington errors.

19 August: Inmates 3 – Drillers 2

INMATES WIN! INMATES WIN! INMATES WIN! Carlos Pena homer in the 8^th is the winning hit.

Inmate pitching held up their end of the bargain during series, with a 2.25 ERA for the five games. Cancer-bat was the order of the day for the hitters, as the Dickless Ones hit .192. Beltre, Howard, and Fuckyoudome combined for a rousing 7-59 with one double and no RBI.

Sigh…

The HEAD INMATE

SuperGoofs at Buckeyes

Buckeyes 3, Goofs 2

April 17 Buckeyes 10 Goofs 4 - Dice K the winner with Pence, Ortiz, and Nix having HR's. Nix drives in 4.

April 18 Goofs 8 Buckeyes 7 (10 innings) - Overbay with a walkoff HR in the 10th

July 13 Goofs 6 Buckeyes 0 - Piniero and Franklin combine on a 4 hitter

July 14 Buckeyes 5 Goofs 4 - Barton with a 9th inning HR off Wood to break the 4-4 tie

July 15 Buckeyes 5 Goofs 4 - Big Papi with an HR HR to break the tie. Meek comes on in 9th for the save.

Wahoos vs Rhinos

Rhinos 7, Wahoos 0

Wahoos lose Game 1 at the Rhinos, 5-1. Barry Enright dominates us for 6 innings. Votto homered.

Wahoos lose Game 2 at the Rhinos, 5-4. J.A. Happ was great for 7 innings but the Rhinos scored 4 times off him in the 8th. C.C. Sabathia went all the way for the win.

Wahoos lose Game 3 at the Rhinos, 3-2, in 10 innings. Kevin Youkilis homered twice for the good guys, but the Wahoos couldn't muster any offense against a collection of Jeff Francis, Matt Garza, Venters and Axford.

Wahoos lose Game 4 at home, 8-3. No one told the Wahoos that Josh Beckett's card is lousy. So he threw a complete game dominator. Meanwhile, Joey Votto continued killing us with 5 RBIs.

Wahoos lose Game 5 at home, 4-3. This time it was 3 runs in the 8th off Jeremy Guthrie and Brian Fuentes to lead the G.D. Rhinos. Votto and BJ Upton homered. So did Kevin Youkilis. But so what.

Wahoos lose Game 6 at home, 5-4. Rhinos scored 2 in the eighth and 1 in the ninth. Ethier and Votto homered.

Wahoos lose Game 7 at home, 2-1. This was a September game and luckily the last game of our day. Rhinos scored 2 in the ninth on a Ryan Braun homer. Josh Beckett again looked like a Cy Young winner.

Fungoes vs Rhinos

Fungoes 5, Rhinos 3

Fungoes and Rhinos played 8 today, Fungoes won 5 of the 8. Here are the highlights!

April 26:

RHINOS.............. 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 - 3 8 1
FUNGOES......... 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 - 1 6 1

Alex Rodriguez had 2 base hits and 2 RBI as the RHINOS topped the FUNGOES by a score of 3 to 1 at Pac Bell Park.

C.C. Sabathia pitched a solid game. He went 8 innings and surrended up 6
hits and 2 walks. The RHINOS had 8 hits for the night.

Sabathia got relief help from Matt Garza who gained credit for his 1st save.
Brett Myers(2-3) was the losing pitcher. He allowed 5 hits and 1 walk in 7
innings.

April 27:

RHINOS.............. 0 1 0 0 0 2 0 0 0 - 3 10 0
FUNGOES......... 1 0 0 0 2 0 1 0 X - 4 9 0

Ryan Zimmerman hit 2 doubles and had 4 RBI as the FUNGOES beat the
RHINOS by a score of 4 to 3.

RHINOS were unable to claim the lead after the FUNGOES went ahead in the bottom of the
7th inning scoring a single run. Coco Crisp drew a walk. Brett Gardner was
next and he laid down a sacrifice bunt. Chone Figgins was the next batter,
but he struck out (AGAIN). Zimmerman followed next and he doubled. The FUNGOES finished
with 9 hits in the victory.

The win went to Clayton Kershaw(4-3) who allowed 3 runs in 7 innings. Ernesto
Frieri preserved the game for Kershaw, recording his his 10th. Matt
Garza(0-1) was given the loss in relief.

July 20:

RHINOS.............. 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 - 2 10 2
FUNGOES......... 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 1 - 3 7 1

One run was the difference at Pac Bell Park as the WTFs defeated the
RHINOS in 10 innings 3 to 2.

The score was knotted at 2 after nine innings. FUNGOES won the hard fought
contest in the 10th inning. Chone Figgins drew a walk. Mike Napoli was next
to bat, but he was a strikeout victim. After another out, Nelson Cruz came
to bat and drew a walk. Ivan Rodriguez followed and he ripped a base-knock
to load the bases. Orlando Hudson stepped into the box and drew a (WALK OFF) walk
giving the FUNGOES the victory as 40,104 happy fans celebrated wildly (due to ten cent beer night). The RHINOS had 10
hits in the game while the FUNGOES had 7, but they were timely hits.

Will Ohman went 1 inning allowing no runs for the victory. The losing
pitcher was Jonny Venters in relief. He gave up 3 hits and 2 walks in 1
and 2/3 innings.

June 7:

FUNGOES......... 0 0 0 0 3 1 0 0 0 - 4 10 0
RHINOS.............. 0 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 - 3 3 0

Clayton Kershaw got credit for the victory, pitching 6 innings and
allowing 3 runs. Barry Enright took the loss. He gave up 8 hits and 4
walks in 7 innings.

June 8:

FUNGOES......... 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 - 1 6 1
RHINOS.............. 0 3 0 0 0 3 0 0 X - 6 9 0

Designated hitter Hanley Ramirez touched them all and had 2 RBI while Brett
Cecil tossed a complete game as the RHINOS outscored the FUNGOES 6
to 1.

June 9:

FUNGOES......... 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 0 0 - 2 10 1
RHINOS.............. 0 2 0 1 0 3 2 0 X - 8 11 1

Josh Beckett allowed the RHINO'S manager to rest his bullpen for the second night in a row, tossing a complete
game as the RHINOS Bitch Slapped the FUNGOES by the score of 8 to 2 at
Wrigley Field.

September 3:

FUNGOES......... 0 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 - 4 8 0
RHINOS.............. 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 - 0 2 0

Jon Garland had a strong outing as the WTF-ers defeated the RHINOS
by a score of 4 to 0 at Wrigley Field.

Garland was tremendous on the mound for the FUNGI. He surrendered only 2
hits and 2 walks in 8 innings lowering his ERA to 2.91. FUNGOES had 8 hits for
the night while the RHINOS had 2.

The loss was charged to Matt Garza. He allowed 4 runs and 7 hits in 8
and 1/3 innings.

September 4:

FUNGOES......... 2 0 0 0 0 5 0 0 0 - 7 12 0
RHINOS.............. 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 - 1 5 1

Rick Porcello had an impressive outing and Ryan Zimmerman went yard and had 2
RBI as the FUNGOES outscored the RHINOS 7 to 1.

Fungoes and Rhinos have a double-header remaining scheduled for July 21 at WTF.

Sidewinders vs FFTs

FFTs 8, Snakes 2

SSWs @ FFTS

4/22 SSWs win 5-4 behind a Wright 3 run HR. Jimenez beats Weaver and Feliz gets the one out save.

4/23 Just as he did with the Tweeners, Oswalt dominates and the FFTs win 3-1

4/24 Manny doubles twice and drives in two to lead the FFTs to 5-2 win. Santana over Danks.

7/18 M Young has 3 hits and 3 RBI to power the FFTs to a 6-1 victory.Kuroda pitches 7 strong innings for the win.

7/19 SSWs win 7-6 in 10 innings.Feliz gets the win after blowing the lead in the 9th.

FFTS@SSWS

6/4 FFTS WIN 1-0.Santana allows 4 hits over 7. Mariano gets the save. The only run of the game scored in the 2nd on a 2 base error by Jason Bartlett. Sanchez allows 2 FFT hits and an unearned run in the CG loss.

6/5 Oswalt bests Peavy 6-4. Ichiro hits a 2 run tater

9/1 FFTs win 1-0 behind Kuroda and Rivera. Ubaldo is the tough luck loser.

9/1 FFTs take the nightcap 10-5. The SSWs find a new way to lose making 3 errors that lead to 6 unearned runs

9/2 Weaver and Rivera combine for the 5-3 mercy killing.

I am beginning to think Branyan and Thames are not enough to save this team.......

DVs at Tweeners

DVs 3, Tweeners 2

DVs take 3 of 5 from the Tweeners to complete the perfect Tweener split for the season (5-5).

G 1 DVs ride Latos to a 5-2 win.

G 2 The Tweeners bounce back as King Felix strikes out 15 and has a complete game to eat up some innings that the Mullen brothers won’t have to face in a 9-2 drubbing.

G 3 The DVs love the road hookers and pick up an unremarkable, but appealing to the eye candy, win at 7-4

G 4 The ping pong match continues with the Tweeners winning 6-2 as Luke Scott and Alex Gonzalez hit home runs to win back the favor of the ‘trim’ that had previously been stamped by the DVs

G 5 Roy Halladay continues to love road cooking as he evens his record at 5-5 with a 7-6 win that the bullpen nearly gave away. Roy has already requested the Cy Young voting this year be done with only road stats taken into account.

Enough of that, back to the chocolate bunnies.

DVs

Buckeyes at Tweeners

Buckeyes 3, Tweeners 2

Buckeyes 3 Tweeners 2 in 5 at Tweeners

June 7 - GPB 6 TWN 4 - Conrad with a 2 run pinch hit single in 8th breaks the 4 all tie.

June 8 - GPB 14 TWN 5 - Buckeyes pund out 17 hits. Buck with an HR and 5 RBI's

June 9 - TWN 2 GPB 0 - Scott with a 2 run HR in 9th to break the scoreless tie

Sept 3 - GPB 7 TWN 1 - Lilly the winner. Pence hits 2 HR's and Prado an HR

Sept 4 - TWN 9 GPB 4 - Hudson the winner. Hart drives in3 and Swisher drives in 2 with an HR. Tweeners hit 6 doubles.

Sidewinders at Killer Bees

Snakes 3, Bees 0

Snakes go 3-0 at the Hive.

Tweeners at Buckeyes

Buckeyes 3, Tweeners 2

4 shutouts, 2 for each team, and in the other game we snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. Back-to-back shutouts to begin the series by Lilly and Padilla with help from some other nondescript pitchers. I know we rolled BP-HR at least a dozen times in those 2 games. Then Cole Hamels was relieved in game 3 with his shutout intact throught 7.2 IP, and on the next pitch Ben Zobrist found the clear HR on Kameron Loe's card. So we finally scored after 25.2 innings, while Wainwright & friends combined for the shutout. We split a doubleheader to close the series. In the nightcap, Daniel Hudson(4-0) pitched a fine game. He surrendered 4 hits and 1 walk in 6 innings reducing his ERA from 1.56 to 1.16. Neither team managed to score after the 4th inning. Santiago Casilla preserved the game for Hudson, recording his his 2nd save. Earlier that day, Felix Hernandez was removed with a 4-1 lead in the 8th inning, and the efforts of the Tweeners' bullpen were thusly summarized by the Buckeyes' beat writer:
At Buckeyes the GLENN Buckeyes outdistanced the NORM TWEENERS by a final score of 8 to 4. A hugely decisive outburst by GLENN in the 8th inning quieted any NORM hopes for a victory as they creamed NORM blasting them with 7 runs on 6 hits. The highlight belonged to Brooks Conrad who made the crowd come alive when he belted a three-run homer.

Sidewinders at Buckeyes

Buckeyes 3, Snakes 2

We did not fare much better against the Buckeyes...

Game 1 Buckeyes win 3-2 on Ortiz and Prado homers off Jimenez who pitched the complete game. Lilly yielded 2 unearned runs and 3 relievers pitch the 9th with Meek getting the save. The Snakes steal 8 bases in the loss.

Game 2 Buckeyes win 5-1. Conrad hits a 3 run bomb off Danks, Padilla is the winner and Meek gets the save again.

Game 3 Lester tosses a 5 hit shutout. Snakes win 6-0. Hamels was the loser.

Game 4 Lilly beats Jimenez again. Ortiz with another big HR. Lidge with save.

Game 5 Snakes were down 2-0 when Rasmus hits a grand slam off of D Wheeler in the top of the 9th. Feliz saves the Danks victory.

We suck.

SSWs

Sidewinders at Mavs

Mavs 4, Snakes 1

First game was against the Mavs which we lost in the bottom of the 20TH INNING on a pitchers x single. Final was 4-3. It was tied at 3 after 9. Game 2 goes to MAVS 5-1. Bucholz throws complete game striking out 10. Morrow takes the loss. Billy Butler hit a 3run HR late off of Zambrano to put the game out of reach.

Games 3 Lester tosses a 7 hit shutout, Snakes win 3-0 behind Ryan Kalish's 2 run single in the top of the 6th.

Game 4 A balanced Mav attack leads to a 7-4 Mav victory behind Phil Hughes.

Game 5 Mavs torch the Snake pen for a 7-3 victory.Upton has 3 hits and Uribe hit a solo HR.

So we went 1-4 vs Mavs.

Tweeners at DVs

Tweeners 3, DVs 2

Game 1 DVs jump on Wainwright for a 6 run lead, but Latos gives up a 7-run 5th inning and Tweeners win 8-6. In game 2, aided by 9 walks, Tweeners beat Matusz as Dan Hudson runs his record to 3-0. For some reason, 46,399 fans showed up to see DVs win game 3 by a score of 5-4. Both teams tried repeatedly to lose game 4, and the DVs finally succeeded. Despite DVs' 6 homers (3 by Matt Holliday), Tweeners win 12-8 in 11 innings. DVs salvage the split as Wainwright gives up homers to Stanton and Granderson and Halladay wins game 5 2-0.

Fungoes at Mavs

Mavs 3, Fungoes 2

April 07

FUNGOES......... 0 1 0 1 2 0 0 0 0 - 4 6 0

MAVS............... 1 1 3 0 0 0 0 0 X - 5 12 1

April 08

FUNGOES......... 0 0 0 0 2 0 3 0 0 - 5 8 0

MAVS............... 3 3 1 0 0 0 0 0 X - 7 7 0

April 09

FUNGOES......... 2 3 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 - 7 9 0

MAVS............... 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 - 1 4 1

July 01

FUNGOES......... 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 - 1 5 0

MAVS............... 0 0 0 3 2 0 0 0 X - 5 5 0

July 02

FUNGOES......... 0 0 1 1 0 4 0 0 0 - 6 12 0

MAVS............... 0 0 1 2 0 0 0 2 0 - 5 10 0

“I was a little good, a little bad and a little ugly.” said Homer Bailey, “I was just giving us a chance to win.”

That pretty much sums up the whole series!!

Fungoman

FFTs at Zaps

FFTs 3, Zaps 2

[1]BOXSCORE: 2011 TERRY FFT'S At 2011 TRISTAN VIVAZAPASTAS 4/17/2011

FFT'S..........- 4 10 0

VIVAZAPASTAS....- 3 9 2

39,281 fans were treated to a fine game at PNC Park as only one run separated

the combatants at game's end. The TERRY FFT'S ended a long winless drought

and won by the slimmest of margins, 4 to 3.

'Ahhh, how sweet it is,' TERRY's manager sighed. 'That win feels like a tall,

cool drink of water after spending far too much time in the desert lately.'

[1]BOXSCORE: 2011 TERRY FFT'S At 2011 TRISTAN VIVAZAPASTAS 4/18/2011

FFT'S........... 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 - 2 8 0

VIVAZAPASTAS.... 3 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 - 5 7 0

[1]BOXSCORE: 2011 TERRY FFT'S At 2011 TRISTAN VIVAZAPASTAS 7/13/2011

FFT'S........... 1 0 1 1 3 0 0 0 2 - 8 19 1

VIVAZAPASTAS.... 0 3 7 3 0 0 0 0 - 13 11 0

[1]BOXSCORE: 2011 TERRY FFT'S At 2011 TRISTAN VIVAZAPASTAS 7/14/2011

FFT'S........... 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 - 4 11 1

VIVAZAPASTAS.... 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 - 1 6 1

The win by TERRY is a very welcome one as they have been struggling in recent

days. only 2-8 in their last ten games.

[1]BOXSCORE: 2011 TERRY FFT'S At 2011 TRISTAN VIVAZAPASTAS 7/15/2011

FFT'S........... 0 1 0 0 0 0 4 0 1 - 6 10 0

VIVAZAPASTAS.... 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 - 3 6 1

Warpigs at Tweeners

Warpigs 2, Tweeners 1

Gm1 - Pigs 6, Tweeners 1 - Ordonez homered. Ohlendorf bests Bumgarner.

Gm2 - Tweeners 11, Pigs 4 - Luke Scott homers twice. Cliff Lee gets hammered.

Gm3 - Pigs 1, Tweeners 0 - Trevor Cahill outduels Felix Hernandez. A first inning run holds up.

Zaps at FFTs

Zaps 5, FFTs 0

All the little things fell the Zaps way. Zaps out homered the FFTs 5-0 and stole 10 bases in five games as the Zaps sweep the series.

Game 1 Two FFT errors lead to two unearned runs as Zaps win 5-3.

Game 2 Westbrook and the pen stymie the FFT’s as Zaps win 4-1.

Game 3 FFT’s leave the bases loaded three times while five stolen bases power the Zaps 6-2.

Game 4 Baustista’s two-run 8^th inning taters gives the Zaps a lead the pen doesn’t relinquish. 4-3.

Game 5 Zaps win 5-3 in 14 after Brignac’s 2-base 2-out error in the 9^th blows the save for Rivera.

Killer Bees at DiamondVision

Bees 3, DVs 2

Mavs at Fungoes

Fungoes 3, Mavs 2

Well we aren't very good to begin with and this series we weren't very lucky either. Actually both teams kind of sucked but we sucked more. We hit into 11 DP's in five games. The Fungoes on the other hand were caught stealing 8 times but stole successfully 11 times. But our seven errors sort of gave you the edge and you took 3 of 5. I'll send a rotation and computer manager in a bit. The first score is the mavs.

May 21	1-2
May 22	2-3
August 14	7-4
August 15	2-3
August 16	3-2

A Note From the FFTs

Manny was, is, and always will be Manny.

FFT Management

Last said about that. tm

Warpigs at Zaps

Warpigs 5, Zaps 0

gm1 - Pigs win 11-3. Clayton Richard with the complete game.

gm2 - Pigs win 16-2. Andy Pettitte matches Richard with his own CG.

gm3 - Pigs win 4-1. Cahill over Scherzer.

gm4 - Pigs win 3-2. Josh Johnson loses his shutout in the 8th and the game in the 9th.

gm5 - Pigs win 6-0. Clayton Richard and four relievers throw the shutout.

Mavs at DVs

Mavs 3, DVs 2

well I don't know what happened in game two. I was saving at bats, pinchhitting Gallardo and so on and suddenly I had a lead. First score is the Mavs.

May 23	46	4-13
May 24	47	13-12
May 25	48	6-1
August 18	128	9-7
August 19	129	3-5

Rhinos at Mavs

Rhinos 4, Mavs 1

30 May - Mavs 6 Rhinos 3

Hochevar pitched a solid game surrendering 7 hits, 3 walks and striking out 9 Rhinos in 8 innings.

31 May - Rhinos 3 Mavs 1

Braun homered for the Rhinos ignigting a 2 run outburst in the 3rd. Hughes pitches a complete game loss.

26 Aug - Rhinos 8 Mavs 6

Gallardo got hammered, allowing 12 of the 15 Rhino hits in 7 and 1/3 innings. Rhino pitching wasn't much better, allowing 16 hits to the Mavs. Cervilli went 4 for 4, scoring 2 runs.

27 Aug - Rhinos 7 Mavs 5

Sabathia allowed 1 run in 6 innings and picked up the victory. Hochevar suffered the

loss getting touched for 10 hits and 2 walks in 4 and 2/3 innings.

28 Aug - Rhinos 10 Mavs 0

Votto provided much of the Rhino offense, going 3 for 4 with six RBI's, 4 of which came on a grand slam in the 2nd.

Warpigs at Wahoos

Wahoos 4, Warpigs 0

gm 1 - Wahoos score 5 in the 2nd inning off of Ross Ohlendorf. Wahoos win 5-2.

gm 2 - A 3-run homer with two outs in the bottom of the 8th give the Wahoos a 4-3 lead. The Pigs tie it in the 9th on a triple by Stephen Drew, but the Wahoos win it 5-4 in 12 innings.

gm 3 - R.A. Dickey outduels Cliff Lee in the Blue Jeans Special. Wahoos win 3-2.

gm 4 - Justin Morneau continues to dominate the Pigs. Hoos win 7-5.

FFTs at DVs

DVs 4, FFTs 3

DVs eke out a 4-3 record at home vs the FFTs to avoid the dreaded March demerit.

6/18 – FFTs 10 DVs 4 (Latos still hungover from his no hitter)

6/19 – DVs 8 FFTs 2

6/20 – DVs 6 FFTs 2

9/13 – FFTs 3 DVs 1

9/14 – DVs 6 FFTs 4

9/15 – FFTs 3 DVs 2

9/16 – DVs 6 FFTs 2

Warpigs at Mavs

Warpigs 5, Mavs 0

Gm1 - Cliff Lee throws a shutout. Pigs win 6-0

Gm2 - Ross Ohlendorf and some relievers have a shutout in the 9th when Chase Headley hits a game-tying solo shot. Stephen Drew then hits a homer in the top of the 10th for the 2-1 win.

Gm3 - Trevor Cahill outduels Clay Buchholtz for a 5-2 Pig win.

Gm4 - The Warpigs scored at will, especially after Matt Cain was pulled in the 2nd inning. Pigs win 16-1.

Gm5 - Omar Infante and Adam Lind hit 2-run homers in the first inning, but the bullpen had to hang on for the 7-5 win.

Inmates at Zaps

Zaps 3, Inmates 2

Zaps take three of five from the Beakless Chicken Gang at the Zap Zone. All were close games.

Game 1: Zaps 4 – Inmates 3

Ridiculously good Pasta Pen almost blows game in 9^th, but pinch-runner Billingsley is thrown out at plate to save game.

Game 2: Inmates 6 – Zaps 5

Inept Inmate defense almost gives game away, but 2-run pinch tater by Fuck-you-dome in the 6^th is enough for the Inmates.

Game 3: Zaps 4 – Inmates 3

Colvin’s error allows two Zap runs. Westbrook retires the last eleven in a row for CG win.

Game 4: Zaps 4 – Inmates 3

Inmates outhit the Zaps, but not when it counted. Fuck-you-dome homers again; Johnson gets CG victory.

Game 5: Inmates 5 – Zaps 3

Inmates salvage the “Tweener split” by scoring 5 runs early and hanging on.

Inmates now 12-18.

Zaps at Inmates

Zaps 4, Inmates 1

Zaps take four of five on the road against the Inmates.

Game 1- Inmates 3 Zaps 2 Beltre smacks a game winning tater in the bottom of the 9^th.

Game 2- Zaps 4 Inmates 2 Bautista’s 3-run shot backs up Greinke’s strong start.

Game 3- Zaps 7 Inmates 4 Zaps score all their winning runs in a 7-run 4^th inning to fend off Kelly Johnson’s two taters.

Game 4- Zaps 6 Inmates 0 Four pitchers combine to shutout the Inmates.

Game 5- Zaps 9 Inmates 5 Cabrera and Hall get four hits each to power the Zap offense.

Zaps at Mavs

Zaps 3, Mavs 2

Zaps lose the first two and win the last three in an exciting series with the Mavs.

Game 1-Mavs 7 Zaps 1 Cain throws a dominating complete game as Mav bats assault Johnson.

Game 2 Mav 3 Zaps 1 Buchholz dominates for 8 2/3 before the Mavs manager yanks him to prevent a complete game that might adversely affect next year’s looming arbitration hearing.

Game 3-Zaps 8 Mavs 2 Rodriguez finally solves Mavs bats and Zaps offense heats up.

Game 4- Zaps 4 Mavs 2 The Zap bullpen stymies Mav comeback after Johnson goes a strong 6 2/3.

Game 5- Zaps 6 Mavs 5 McCutchen hits a go ahead 2-run shot in the top of the 9^th in rubber game series clincher.

New Rule for 2011

The only new rule passed for 2011 has to do with how you send out your CM and how you play those games. For this season, send a CM based on your HOME games. When you play mail games, you will play your ROAD games.

This rule was proposed as a "Let's try it for this year and see how we like it" rule, so I assume we'll have to vote again next year to keep it as a semi-permanent rule.

The pros... it makes creating a CM easier, since you only have to make one for ONE park. Also, you get to see other parks in the games you play.

The cons... We are on the verge of seeing some of the greatest W/L ROAD records in the history of the league. LOL

Tweeners vs FFTs

FFTs 4, Tweeners 1 at FFT Park
FFTs 3, Tweeners 2 at Tweener Field

Tweeners go 2-3 at home, FFT's go 4-1 at home. We won a couple of extra-inning games, including one vs. Mariano, and Dan Hudson won his first start of the season. But the story was Roy F. Oswalt, who sent his former team a message by winning all 4 of his starts, including 2 shutouts, and we were outscored by a total of 28 to 4 in those 4 games. We get it, Roy, and we're even now, OK? Jeez.

Zaps at DVs

Zaps 4, DVs 1

Latos fired a no-hitter, but then Zap bats reeled off four wins on the road at the DV’s.

Game 1-DV’s 1 Zaps 0 Latos fires a no-hitter when he pitches out of turn on short rest not because the Zaps can’t read an email rotation but because Roy Halladay walked into a bathroom after the Drillers used it and was delirious for two days.

Game 2- Zaps 8 DV’s 2 Greinke fires a four-hitter and Zap bats come back to life.

Game 3-Zaps 8 DV’s 3 Bautista and Fielder hit two-homers each to back Wandy’s solid start.

Game 4-Zaps 9 DV’s 7 Russell Martin hits a two-run homer in the top of the 12^th for the win.

Game 5-Zaps 3 DV’s 1 Wandy outduels Latos for the win.

Killer Bees vs FFTs

Bees 3, FFTs 2 at FFT Park
FFTs 3, Bees 2 at The Hive

Bees go 3-2 on the road and 2-3 at home to finish the split with the FFTs. The final game of the series, which was played at the Hive, was decided by a Josh Hamilton bomb in the 16th inning off Billy Wagner. The FFts took the game 5-4, despite managing only 6 hits through 16 innings. The Bees had 4 runs on 14 hits.

DVs at FFTs

FFTs 4, DVs 3

5/7 FFTs 6-2

5/8 FFTs 5-3

5/9 DVs 4-0

5/10 FFTs 6-3

7/30 FFTs 4-1

8/1 DVs 6-3

8/2 DVs 3-1 in 11 innings

DVs were lucky to win 3 – the first two wins were both Halladay starts , and the last game we rolled a + gb with the infield in during the 11^th.

DVs at Mavs

DVs 3, Mavs 2

Game 1 – DVs win 6-1 behind a Latos 4 hitter

Game 2 – Mavs 5-4 as Butler’s 2 run HR is the game winner

Game 3 – Mavs win 5-2 as they score all 5 in the 8^th and Cain throws a 5 hitter. Halladay slumps to 0-2 on the season

Game 4 – DVs outlast Mavs with 7-5 win in 11 innings (just what my beleaguered bullpen needs)

Game 5 – DVs outlast Mavs 6-5 in 13 innings (REALLY just what my beleaguered bullpen needs). HAL would not pull Gallardo- I kept unchecking and checking the box that indicated he was in charge. He actually put in a pinch runner late, but wouldn’t go to the pen. HAL sucks.

Mavs at Warpigs

Pigs 3, Mavs 2

Gm 1 - Pigs 3, Mavs 2

Gm 2 - Mavs 6, Pigs 2

Gm 3 - Mavs 6, Pigs 5

Gm 4 - Pigs 7, Mavs 6

Gm 5 - Pigs 6, Mavs 3 - Pujols went 3/4 with a homer and drove in 4.

Zaps at Warpigs

Zaps 5, Pigs 0

Zaps sweep Pigs on the road.

April 10-Zaps 10 Pigs 2
Bautista's grand slam powers Zap onslaught.
Apr 11-Zaps 2 Pigs 1
Back-to-back 8th inning taters by Raburn and Jones sink the Pigs.
July 3-Zaps 5 Pigs 0
Westbrook dominates Pig bats
July 4-Zaps 6 Pigs 4
Utley's fireworks backs up Johnson's solid start
July 5-Zaps 4 Pigs 2
Zaps pen outduels Pig pen for the sweep.

Zaps outscore Pigs 27-9