Buckeyes 5, Inmates 1

(all via netplay)

INMATES 2 – BUCKEYES 0 (Baptist Bowl): Classic pitcher’s duel. Norris/Perez/Ziegler combine for the shutout; Espinosa hits solo HR.

BUCKEYES 7 – INMATES 5 (Baptist Bowl): Heisey hits 3-run tater and Inmates are down 4-0 before ever coming to bat. HRs by Suzuki and Howard, along with an error by Escobar, allow the Inmates to get close but not close enough.

BUCKEYES 6 – LDMF 0 (Baptist Bowl): Beachy allows three hits – HRs to Ortiz, C. Jones, and Heisey – as both teams get only 5 hits. Inmates suck.

BUCKEYES 10 – LDMF 5 (Baptist Bowl): Shriveled Testicle Gang scores 6 in the first off of limp-dicked Chacin and never look back.

BUCKEYES 5 – LDMF 1 (Buckeye Dome): Heisey reams Beakless again with another HR and 3B; LDMF hitters miss two ballpark homers (but it wouldn’t have made any difference in the result because the LDMF are homos and the Buckeyes cheat).

BUCKEYES 6 – LDMF 5 (Buckeye Dome): Billingsley is bitch-slapped again, allowing 9 hits and 2 walks in 4 2/3. Dickweed Ortiz thinks his sphincteral emanations lack odoriferousness because he hits three doubles and gets 4 RBI.

The HEAD INMATE