Said Warpig GM Tex Schramm, "Murphy and Maggs are just guys with absolutely zero value. It has nothing to do with their complete inability to hit those two lefty Buckeye pitchers in the playoffs. Don't misunderstand me, I want to show these guys the respect they deserve. They just don't deserve any. This simply allows us to get rid of dead weight and remove the trash from the clubhouse. On the other hand, I actually like Ohlendorf, but hell, he can't pitch."
The Warpigs had traded for Manny Ramirez last summer in order to allow him to retire a Pig. Said Mr. Schramm, "We won a title with Manny here. Big deal. We coulda won that year with me dh'ing. Screw that long-haired piece of shit." There will be no retirement ceremonies to honor Manny, who was not allowed to come within 100 yards of the BallPork after the trade.
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