A Goofy/Pig Trade

Soriano is a Goof

The Warpigs traded Rafael Soriano and Clayton Richard to the SuperGoofs for Chris Denorfia and Edinson Volquez.

Denorfia is a platoon outfielder who is a 2 in all three fields. Volquez was recently traded to the Padres, but his card from last year is not useable. Richard had 100 innings last year as a starter with the Padres, while Soriano will be able to get righties out.

The Drillers continue to find a home for their cuts

This is why he is a DH.

The Drillers traded Jason Hammel and Vladimir to the Warpigs for pick 136.

Guerrero hit .290 last year but failed to ever go to a 3-ball count, let alone walk. He has no power or speed but makes up for it by not playing in the field. Hammel will provide 170 of the ugliest relief innings you've ever seen.

Drillers make two trades

Jeter is the one on the right

The Drillers traded Derek Jeter to the Tweeners for Milwaukee closer Francisco Rodriguez. Then the Drillers sent Rajai Davis to the FFTs for pick 157.

Jeter hit .297 in almost 550 at bats last year. K-Rod had a 2.64 ERA in 71 innings. Davis... suited up.

Goofs and FFTs make a deal

Marlon Byrd blows

The SuperGoofs traded pick 132 to the FFTs for Angel Pagan, Marlon Byrd, and pick 156.

Dickey on the move again

R.A. Dickey is traded again

R.A. Dickey didn't stay an FFT for long. The FFTs moved Dickey and pick 77 to the Buckeyes for Martin Prado and Ted Lilly.

Lilly threw 192 innings last year with a 1.16 WHIP. Prado hit .260 in 551 at bats. He'll be a 3 at 1b, 3b, and LF.

FFTs and DVs trade

Maybin will patrol cf for the FFTs

The DVs sent Francisco Liriano and Cameron Maybin to the FFTs for picks 45 and 93.

Maybin hit .264 in 516 at bats last year. He'll be a 1 in cf. Liriano has 134 innings of SP/RP, but they won't be good ones.

FFTs and Wahoos Trade

Guthrie has 208 innings of relief

The Wahoos sent a lot of innings to the FFTs in order to improve their draft positioning.

The FFTs get Jeremy Guthrie, R.A. Dickey, and Kyle McClellan, along with picks 124 and 156. The Wahoos get pick 29 and a reserve.

Guthrie, who turns 33 in April, has 208 innings of start/relief and had a WHIP of 1.34. Dickey, at 37, also has 208 innings. He can't relieve, but his WHIP is much better, 1.23. McClellan, only 27, has 141 innings of start/relief with a 1.31 WHIP.

Trading Picks

One good pick deserves another

The Rhinos traded pick 3 that they recently received from the Drillers to the Warpigs for picks 13 and 40.

But can he say "Yadier" like he says "Vladimir"?

A Driller??? WTF!!!

The Drillers have their catcher. After panicking when he realized there are no catchers in next year's draft, the Driller Dude paid through the nose to get one. Yadier Molina will wear the Driller colors next year. In exchange, the Rhinos receive the third pick in the draft, two reserve spots, and A.J. Ellis (who will no doubt be the next All Star and Gold Glove catcher).

Swapping First Basemen

He's smiling because he has clinched a division title for 2012.

The Buckeyes and Inmates traded first basemen. Carlos Pena heads to the Buckeyes while Gaby Sanchez is now an Inmate.

Pena, who will turn 34 early next season, hit 28 homers last year, and although his average was down, had a healthy .388 on base average vs rhp. The 28-year old Sanchez had almost identical stats to his rookie season, and should crush lhp. One other big difference is the defense. Pena will be a 1 next year; Sanchez, a 4.

Tweeners and Wahoos trade

Darren Oliver

The Tweeners send Nick Swisher and Luke Gregerson to the Wahoos for pick 76 and the young left-handed relief specialist Darren Oliver.

Pujols Leaves the Pigs

Pujols joins the FFTs

The Warpigs have dealt Albert Pujols, the greatest right handed hitter in the history of baseball, to the FFTs. In return, the Warpigs will receive Jered Weaver, Stephen Strasburg, pick 13 in next year's draft, and a reserve pick. As an insurance stipulation, if Strasburg fails to throw 100 innings in 2012, the FFTs will also send their 2013 third round pick to the Pigs.

The Snakes pull off two more deals

Jair Jurrjens throws a fit after learning he's a Wahoo.

The Snakes are a-wheelin' and a-dealin', completing two more trades today.

The Buckeyes traded pick 108 to the Sidewinders for Freddy Sanchez and pick 133.

The Wahoos traded Carlos Marmol, Jed Lowrie, and two reserves to the Sidewinders for Jair Jurrjens.

Hours later, Jurrjens admitted himself into a home for damaged arms.

The Tweeners and Snakes do a deal

Craig Kimbrel pitched well last year despite losing his right leg in a hunting accident.

After picking up Laynce Nix from the Buckeyes a few days earlier, the Tweeners decided to go for actual major league players this time.

The Tweeners traded Brandon Belt, Chris Sale, and Craig Kimbrel to the Sidewinders for Joel Hanrahan, Michael Morse, and a reserve pick.

The Buckeyes make two trades

Bonafacio on that one play he made cleanly last year.

The Buckeyes traded Laynce Nix (including the pointless Y in his first name) to the Tweeners for pick 102.

The Buckeyes then traded a reserve pick and their 2013 1st round pick to the Wahoos for Wilson Ramos, Emilio Bonafacio, and pick 108.

Biggest Trade in NASOMA History

The Warpigs traded Robinson Cano to the Rhinos in a deal that is not only the biggest deal in the history of the league, but should also result in 130 wins for the Rhinos.

The Warpigs traded Cano, Nick Markakis, Sean Marshall, and Joakim Soria to the Rhinos for Mike Moustakas, Freddie Freeman, two reserves, and ALL of the Rhino draft picks for 2012.

The Rhinos can now field a team of all 1's, most of whom received MVP votes last year.

Most Valuable Players

The MVP voting was announced this week. The voters get to pick 10 players in each league with weighted scoring (14-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1). A total of 49 players received at least one vote, and every one of them is already on a NASOMA team. Below are the vote totals as they apply to each of our NASOMA teams. The first number is the number of players receiving votes; the second number is the total number of votes by those players.

1. Rhinos (9/959)
2. Killer Bees (7/546)
3. Zaps (3/455)
4. DVs (4/293)
5. Drillers (5/291)
6. Warpigs (2/278)
7. Mavs (1/214)
8. Fungoes (3/148)
9. Nads (2/107)
10. FFTs (3/98)
11. Inmate (2/48)
12. Wahoos (1/48)
13. Tweeners (5/40)
14. Buckeyes (1/10)
15. Sidewinders (1/5)
16. SuperGoofs (0/0)

I'm looking forward to a Rhino/Bee World Series next year.

Warpigs Announce Cuts/Retirements

The Warpigs today released infielder Donnie Murphy, veteran outfielder Magglio Ordonez, and starting pitcher Ross Ohlendorf. In addition, the Pigs acknowledged the retirements of Manny Ramirez and Andy Pettitte.

Said Warpig GM Tex Schramm, "Murphy and Maggs are just guys with absolutely zero value. It has nothing to do with their complete inability to hit those two lefty Buckeye pitchers in the playoffs. Don't misunderstand me, I want to show these guys the respect they deserve. They just don't deserve any. This simply allows us to get rid of dead weight and remove the trash from the clubhouse. On the other hand, I actually like Ohlendorf, but hell, he can't pitch."

The Warpigs had traded for Manny Ramirez last summer in order to allow him to retire a Pig. Said Mr. Schramm, "We won a title with Manny here. Big deal. We coulda won that year with me dh'ing. Screw that long-haired piece of shit." There will be no retirement ceremonies to honor Manny, who was not allowed to come within 100 yards of the BallPork after the trade.

Nads Make Two Deals

The Nads, while driving from Chicago to New York for Thanksgiving, pull off a double deal day. In the Danny Duo Deal, they sent Danny Espinosa to the Inmates for Danny Valencia. At the same time, the Nads were acquiring starting pitchers Jonathan Sanchez and James McDonald from the Warpigs for a reserve pick.

More Division Talk

Or what about getting rid of the 4 divisions and making it 2.

The Ab Wheeler Division (Senior Circuit - made up of the 8 teams in NASOMA the longest)
Buckeyes
FFTs
Tweeners
Mavs
Inmates
Warpigs
Fungoes
Drillers

The Herman Wheeler Division (Junior Circuit)
Zaps
DVs
Wahoos
Sidewinders
Nads
Killer Bees
Rhinos
SuperGoofs

Division winners get byes, next 2 top records in each division play each other for the right to play the Division champ. It would bring back the old term of finishing in the top half (or bottom half) of the division.

Just an idea.

Division Re-alignment

There has been some talk about scrambling the divisions to shake up the league a bit. One suggestion was to just do a random drawing every four years (2 years? EVERY year?). Just to get a feel of it, I thought I'd give it a try. I am going to draw names out of a hat (literally) as I write this. Here goes...

Division 1
Warpigs (yep, drew my team first. weird)
Drillers
Buckeyes
FFTs

Division 2
Killer Bees
Sidewinders
Wahoos
Inmates

Division 3
Fungoes
Mavs
Tweeners
DVs

Division 4
Zaps
SuperGoofs
Rhinos
Nads

Well, that was interesting. I think we'd call Division 1 the Champions Division. There are 22 league titles among those 4 teams. Still, looks like another cakewalk to the playoffs for the Buckeyes, as the other three are in for down years.

Division 2 kept the Mullens together. Fate, I guess. And those two would again fight for the division championship, as the Wahoos are hurting a little. Oh, wait, our commissioner has just reminded me that this is the Year of the Inmate. It does put together 4 guys who (in the past) have always preferred dice to the computer game.

Division 3 is... I got nothin'. But wouldn't it be fun for these 4 teams to go into the season without the usual obstacles standing between them and a division title? And all 4 teams are loaded for 2012.

Good luck ever hearing from the Division 4 teams. lol. But it does group together the winner of the last two titles (Zaps) with the winner of the 2012 title (Rhinos).

Again, before you get all excited and think I just made up some new rules (the dumbass Beeboy is probably checking his calendar to make sure he hasn't been fooled yet again with an April Fools joke), remember this is just a trial run. In my opinion, adding some spice to the mix could only help.

Looking Forward

The Zaps are the champs for the second year in a row.

Big fat hairy deal. There's nothing to see here. Let's move on.

The 2012 Draft Grid has been posted on our website. The current rosters are also linked on the home page. At the bottom of each roster you can find your picks AND the number of reserves you own. Look over both the Draft Grid and the Rosters and let me know if you spot any mistakes.

The Tracker link is still there, but Yahoo has taken the MLB Fantasy 2011 info down. The DVs are working on a winter version supplement.

Also, if you have any suggestions for the website, please let me know.

2012 Draft Order

1. Nads
2. Inmates
3. Drillers
4. SuperGoofs
5. Sidewinders
6. Tweeners
7. Fungoes
8. Rhinos
9. Mavs
10. Killer Bees
11. DVs
12. Wahoos
13. FFTs
14. Warpigs
15. Buckeyes
16. Zaps

NASOMA World Series 2011

The Buckeyes vs the Zaps.

Game 1 starters are Wandy Rodriguez for the Zaps and Chris Carpenter for the Buckeyes.

Buckeyes win game 1, 2-0. Carpenter and bullpen dominate the Zaps.

Game 2 starters are Zach Greinke for the Zaps and Ted Lilly for the Buckeyes.

Zaps win game 2, 8-5. Series tied.

Game 3 starters are Josh Johnson for the Zaps and Vicente Padilla for the Buckeyes.

Zaps win 6-1. Johnson with the complete game. Zaps lead 2 games to 1.

Game 4 starters are Wandy Rodriguez and Chris Carpenter.

Zaps win 3-2. They are one win away from a repeat championship.

Game 5 starters are Greinke and Lilly.

Buckeyes toss another shutout, winning 6-0. The Zaps lead is now 3 games to 2, heading back home.

Game 6 starters are Johnson and Padilla.

The Zaps win game 6, 6-4, to win the Higdon.

Second Round - FFTs vs Zaps

The Zaps advanced to the World Series with a 3-2 win in game 7.  The FFTs, who came back from a 3-1 deficit to beat the Wahoos earlier, were on the other end of it this time.
Manny Ramirez homered in the 9th for the FFTs in what will be his last NASOMA at bat.

Second Round - Buckeyes vs Warpigs

The Buckeyes routed the Pigs, winning the series 4 games to 1.

The scores:
Game 1 - Buckeyes 9, Warpigs 1 - Cliff Lee sucks. Jim Thome's homer was the only Pig run.

Game 2 - Warpigs 4, Buckeyes 3 - Thome hit a 2-out grand slam in the 8th inning.

Game 3 - Buckeyes 2, Warpigs 0 - Vicente Padilla with the shutout.

Game 4 - Buckeyes 5, Warpigs 1 - Chris Carpenter with the near shutout.

Game 5 - Buckeyes 4, Warpigs 1 - Ted Lilly with the virtual shutout. Albert Pujols homered for the only Pig run.

First Round - FFTs vs Wahoos

Dice about to hit the table at 10:00.

Game 1 starters: Roy Oswalt for the FFTs, R.A. Dickey for the Wahoos.

Wahoos win game 1, 4-0. R.A. Dickey goes the distance, scattering 6 hits in the shutout. He walked none. Jon Jay went 5-5, with the last hit coming on a Single 1, lineout 2-20. The Wahoos scored 1 in the 8th and 3 in the 9th.

Game 2 starters: Jered Weaver for the FFTs and Jeremy Guthrie for the Wahoos.

Early game 2 note: Jon Jay singled in the first on a Catcher's-x roll (got the 1 - again). The Wahoos have gone on to score 4 in the first (including ANOTHER single on a 1).

The Wahoos scored 4 in the1st and 5 in the 2nd for a 10-5 win in game 2. They lead 2 games to none.

Game 3 at the Reservation. Starters are Fausto Carmona for the Wahoos and Hiroki Kuroda for the FFTs.

FFTs win game 3, 10-1.  Manny Ramirez went 3-4 with 4 rbi. Reid Brignac was the star of the game, though, with a pinch-hit 3-run homer. Said the esteemed FFT manager, "We're just trading ass-kickings." The Wahoos lead 2 games to 1.

Game 4 starters: J.A. Happ for the Wahoos and Alex Sanabia for the FFTs.

The Wahoos win game 4, 5-3.  Kevin Youkilis homered and the Wahoos scored all of their runs in the first three innings. Neither starter lasted long. The Wahoos lead 3 games to 1 and will try to avoid a return trip to FFT Park by winning game 5.

Game 5 starters are Oswalt and Dickey.

R.A. Dickey took a no-hitter into the 7th inning for the Wahoos, but lost the no-no and the game. FFTs take the series back home with a 4-1 win. Wahoos are still up 3 games to 2.

Game 6 starters are Weaver and Guthrie.

Game 6 early update: The Wahoos started off the game with a ballpark homer chance (1-3) and rolled ANOTHER 1. The batter was weak, though, and only singled. He stole second and eventually scored, giving the Hoos an early lead.

The FFTs and Jered Weaver return the butt-whipping from game 2, winning game 6, 10-2. Weaver struck out 13. The series is now tied and headed to game 7.

The Rhinos are here wondering when they play. The Buckeyes and Zaps just came in. The talk right now is mostly about the DVs and their multi-colored charts they used to (not) beat the Buckeyes.

Game 7 starters are Kuroda and Carmona.

Wahoos    000 100 000 - 1 6 0
FFTs         100 001 02x - 4 8 0

1st inning - Josh Hamilton with an rbi single
4th inning - Justin Morneau homers
6th inning - Hamilton with another rbi single, this time off a lefty.

The FFTs come back from down 3-1 to win their first round series with the Wahoos. They advance to the second round to meet the defending champion Zaps.

First Round - DVs vs Buckeyes

The first dice roll is seconds away. I'll keep an ongoing update here.

Game 1 starters: Roy Halladay for the DVs and Ted Lilly for the Buckeyes.

DVs win game 1, 2-1. Halladay the winner. Storen the save. The DVs overcame 3 errors in the first 4 innings (and the chore of figuring out this "fielding chart" thing).

Game 2 starters: Kris Medlen for the DVs and Vicente Padilla for the Buckeyes.

Buckeyes win game 2, 4-1. Padilla the winner; Uehara the save. Series tied 1-1.

Game 3 starters: Chris Carpenter for the Buckeyes. Mat Latos for the DVs.

With stopper Drew Storen already on the mound to protect a 2-1 DV lead in the top of the 9th at DV Park, Big Papi stepped to the plate. DV manager Ozzie Smith visited the mound. During the visit, Francisco Liriano suddenly appeared from the bullpen. Said Smith, "What the hell are you doing here?" Forced to bring Liriano in, John Buck pinch hit for Ortiz and blasted a game-tying homer. Mike Aviles saved Ozzie's job (temporarily) with a 2-out, 3-run homer for the walk off, 5-2 win by the DVs. The DVs lead 2 games to 1.

Game 4 starters: Cole Hamels for the Buckeyes and Brian Matusz for the DVs.

Buckeye slugger Daric Barton hit a 3-run homer, and the Buckeyes even up the series with a 6-2 win. Hamels got the win. Evan Meek got the save, getting Mike Aviles with the bases loaded in the 8th, leading to the DVs shouting, "Aviles, you suck!" This is the same Aviles who won game 3 with a homer.

Game 5 starters are Ted Lilly for the Buckeyes and Roy Halladay for the DVs.

Halladay took a no-hitter in the 7th inning. Casper Wells homered to end the no-no and the shutout, but Halladay goes the distance for a 3-1 win. The DVs lead 3 games to 2 heading back to Buckeye Park.

Game 6 starters are Kris Medlen for the DVs and Vicente Padilla for the Buckeyes.

Game 6 is tied going to the 8th.
Chris Heisey hit an rbi single in the bottom of the 9th for a 3-2 Buckeye win. On to game 7.

Game 7 starters are Chris Carpenter for the Buckeyes and Mat Latos for the DVs.

DVs           000  000  000 - 0  2  0
Buckeyes  010  000  00x - 1  3  0

2nd inning - Daric Barton draws a bases loaded walk.
top of 7th - Ian Kinsler missed a double 1-3, fly with 2 on and 2 out.
Meek relieved Carpenter in the 7th. He's still in.
The Buckeyes win 1-0 and advance to the next round.

VivaZaPasta Torneo por Invitación

A conference call took place tonight between the Buckeyes, Warpigs, DVs, and Wahoos. The tie between the Wahoos and DVs, who went 5-5 against each other this year, had to be settled with a roll of the Buckeye 20-sided die. Odds, the DVs were seed 5, evens it was the Wahoos. The roll was 12.

The tie between the Buckeyes and Warpigs was decided based on the head to head record, with the Pigs going 6-4 and thereby earning the coveted first round bye.

Here are the seedings for the Zap Invitational...

#6 DVs vs #3 Buckeyes - to be played F2F on Saturday, November 5

#5 Wahoos vs #4 FFTs - to be played F2F on Saturday, November 12

#2 Warpigs - first round bye
#1 VivaZaPastas - first round bye

The second round and World Series will be played F2F on Saturday, November 12.

All games to be played at the Pig Sty.

The DVs are unavailable the weekend of the 12th, so if they advance... What am I saying? The DVs advancing... hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Wahoos at Warpigs

Warpigs 2, Wahoos 0

The regular season comes to an end.

9/15 - @ The BallPork - Warpigs 8, Wahoos 5 - Jim Thome hit bookend 3-run homers in the 1st and 7th innings. Youkilis hit a 1st-inning grand slam for the Wahoos - his second slam in the last 3 games.

9/16 - @ The BallPork - Warpigs 5, Wahoos 2 - Tommy "Big Game" Hunter had the Pigs shut out until Albert Pujols homered leading off the 7th. After Hunter then walked Thome, Carlos Marmol came in and bent over, allowing a single to Soto and a 2-run triple to Delmon Young. Jim Thome homered in the 8th.

Warpigs vs Wahoos

Warpigs 3, Wahoos 0

The Warpigs clinched the BUD title with three wins today.

8/1 @The Reservation - Warpigs 13, Wahoos 6 - The Pigs scored 3 in the 1st, 3 in the 2nd, and 4 in the 3rd, and then overcame a 5-run 4th by the Wahoos to win the game. Albert Pujols went 4/4. Jim Thome hit into a triple play.

9/13 @The BallPork - Warpigs 7, Wahoos 6 - The Pigs jumped out quickly again, scoring 2 in the 1st and 4 more in the 2nd, but the 'Hoos responded with a 6-run 3rd that featured four straight walks followed by a single and a grand slam. David Freese had a 2-out, pinch hit rbi single in the 4th for the go ahead run, and the Pigpen held on for the win.

9/14 @The BallPork - Warpigs 11, Wahoos 8 - The division-clinching game was full of drama. The Wahoos put together another big inning, scoring 4 in the 3rd, only to have the Pigs tie it with two 2-run homers by Omar Infante and Jim Thome in the bottom half of the inning. The Hoos led 8-4 going to the bottom of the 8th, but Pujols and Thome hit back-to-back homers after two were out to cut it to 8-6. Then in the bottom of the 9th, the inning started with walk, walk, single, sac fly, double. After a fielder's choice nailed the potential winning run at the plate for the first out, Albert Pujols hit a 3-run bomb, sending the BallPork faithful into a celebration that lasted hours. Unfortunately, the field was damaged by the celebration, postponing the two remaining games for a few hours.

Draft Order

The 2012 Draft Order among the non-playoff teams is:
1. Nads
2. Inmates
3. Drillers
4. SuperGoofs
5. Sidewinders
6. Tweeners
7. Fungoes
8. Rhinos
9. Mavs
10. Killer Bees

Mavs at Wahoos

Mavs 3, Wahoos 2

The first loss eliminated the Mavs from any post season hopes while clinching a playoff spot for the DVs. The Wahoos are 1 game back of the Warpigs for the BUD title. The two teams will now square off for the final 5 games of the regular season. Both the Warpigs and Wahoos have earned spots in the playoffs.

Inmates at Mavs

Inmates 3, Mavs 1

(all games at Mavland)

 

INMATES 7 – MAVS 5: Mavs keep battling back, but Chamberlain gets the last 2 outs. Santana finishes the year 13-13.

 

INMATES 6 – MAVS 1: A 3-run homer by Gonzalez and a strong pitching performance by Norris is enough for the Inmate win.

 

INMATES 9 – MAVS 7 (10): A see-saw battle featuring 13 pitchers. Street is forced to pitch even though tired, and RBI hits by Pennington and Betemit win it for the Inmates.

 

MAVS 7 – INMATES 0: Homer Bailey pitches one of the most dominant games in recent memory, holding the LDMF to 1 hit (a 3-3 1-6 single) and allowing one walk.  Wood gets reamed early. Inmates close out season getting dominated (oooh, we like it…).

 

The HEAD INMATE

Wahoos vs Inmates

Inmates 4, Wahoos 3

INMATES 7 – WAHOOS 6 (Baptist Bowl): Norris walks 9 in 7.1, but Inmates hang on after almost blowing 7-0 lead.

WAHOOS 7 – INMATES 0 (Baptist Bowl): Nolasco tosses 2-hitter. LDMF sucks.

INMATES 6 – WAHOOS 4 (Baptist Bowl): Inmates 4-run 7^th, highlighted by 2-run triple by Castro, wins game.

WAHOOS 5 – INMATES 0 (Baptist Bowl): Floyd takes one for the team and pitches a complete game piece of shit. Dickme shuts out the LDMF on 6 hits.

INMATES 3 – WAHOOS 0 (Reservation): 3-run Inmates 1^st holds up as Santana is in classic mode, striking out 11 and allowing 5 hits.

INMATES 7 – WAHOOS 3 (Reservation): Inmates score 7 in 8^th, with biggest blow being a grand slam by Beltre.

WAHOOS 7 – INMATES 1 (Reservation): Marmol loses Happ’s SHO in 9^th, but everything else goes the Wahoo way.

The HEAD INMATE

Wahoos vs Tweeners

Wahoos 4, Tweeners 0

This series was finally completed with the Wahoos pulling out vital 4-0.

 

August 12, at Wahoos 6-5  ... Adam Wainwright struck out 14 and settled down after giving up 5 first-inning runs.

August 13, at Wahoos 6-5 (11 innings) ... Miguel Olivo was the improbable hero with a two-star hit off Luke Gregorson in the 11th inning. Felix Hernandez was staked to an early lead but struggled to hang on. Carlos Marmol went 4 innings for the win.

June 29, Wahoos 5-2 (10) ... Wahoos scored 4 in the top of the 10th and held on to win.

June 30, Wahoos 4-1

World Series Game 5

I finally made it to my first (and probably last) World Series game. It was expensive, but worth every penny. It was an amazing game. Even the six intentional walks - THREE to Albert Pujols. Hard to imagine a situation where a pitcher is brought in to intentionally walk a batter - and then get pulled without a pinch hitter being announced. The home run by Mitch Moreland was crushed. So was the one by Adrian Beltre. But the bases loaded, go ahead double to right center by Mike Napoli was one of the loudest moments I've ever been a part of.

Inmates at Rhinos

Inmates 3, Rhinos 2

(all games at Rhinoland)

 

RHINOS 11 – INMATES 2: Votto taters twice; Inmates suck.

 

INMATES 6 – RHINOS 5: Votto taters twice more, but Inmates knock Rhinos out of playoff contention.

 

INMATES 5 – RHINOS 3 (15): Inmates make 7 (?!?) errors, but pull the game out (of their asses) in the 15^th.

 

INMATES 8 – RHINOS 4: Snoozer of a game. Nothing exciting happened.

RHINOS 9 – INMATES 4: Floyd takes one for the team and pitches a complete game piece of shit.

 

The HEAD INMATE

Trade

The FFTs traded the DV 7th rounder back to the DVs for Ian Desmond.

Sidewinders at Inmates

Carlos Zambrano breaks cf Tony Campana over his knee.

Snakes 2, Inmates 1

Snakes win 2 of 3 to wrap up our season. Game one saw Carlos Zambrano make his only start of the season.Despite giving up 7 ER, he picks up the win. Snakes win 14-9.Morse and Thames homer twice each.
Game 2 was decided when Fukodome hit a 3 run tater in the bottom of the 10th off of hanrahan
Game 3 Morrow and Feliz combine to best de la rosa and the inmates 4-2. Beltran and Wright homer for the snakes.
AS BAD AS THIS YEAR HAS BEEN FOR THE SNAKES 2012 WILL BE MUCH WORSE.........

Inmates at Sidewinders

Inmates 1, Sidewinders 1

Both games at the Snake Pit:

 

SSWs 6 – Inmates 5 (11): Perez blows a two-run lead (and himself) in the 9^th, then Morse hits a walk-off tater in the 11^th.

 

Inmates 7 – SSWs 3: Howard and Beltre hit back-to-back homers in the 2^nd, then Howard and Johnson hit 2-run shots later in the game.

 

Ho-hum.

 

The HEAD INMATE

Nads at Fungoes

Fungoes 3, Nads 2

Gm1 – Nads finally win a one run game Nads 5-4

Gm2 – WTF? Nads win again 10-9. DAVE brought 5 runs across the plate in the top of the 4th inning when they had 6 base hits. The critical plate appearance was by Pierzynski who silenced the stadium when he clubbed a three-run home run. DAVE lit up the scoreboard in the 4th inning when they had 5 runs on 6 hits. DEREK had a chance to come back in the 9th but they came up short.

Gm3 - The DEREK FUNGOES ended their winless drought and toppled the woeful DAVE -NADS by a 5 to 1 score at Pac Bell Park. Hal got that right – woeful

Gm4- Fungoes win 3-2 Nads lose another one run game – no bench, no bullpen and no hope of winning #%^*&%#%@#@#

Gm5 - David Price held DAVE scoreless on just 2 hits as the DEREK FUNGOES defeated the awful DAVE NADS by a score of 5 to 0 at Pac Bell Park. Perfect!! Nads end this #$%^ season shutout by the ^&*^ Fungoes .

Nads at Sidewinders

Snakes 4, Nads 1

Snakes go 4-1 at home against the NADS

Gm 1 – Hal wrote on the boxscore – “Jonathan Sanchez(1-0) and Bronson Arroyo(6-6) dueled it out with Sanchez and the VINCE SIDEWINDERS coming out on top of the awful DAVE NADS by the scoreof 4 to 0.” Awful is an understatement!!

Gm2 – Nads lose yet another one run game – Snakes win 4-3

Gm3 – Nads are shutout AGAIN!!!! Nuf said snakes win 4-0

Gm4 – Hal wrote “The VINCE SIDEWINDERS readily handled hapless DAVE NADS by a score of 5 to 1 at Dodger Stadium.” Hapless my ass, NADS SUCK

Gm5 – Nads avoided a sweep as Ryan Dempster dominated striking out 10 VINCE batters and Dan Uggla knocked 2 homeruns and had 4 RBI as the DAVE NADS topped the VINCE SIDEWINDERS by a score of 6 to 1 at Dodger Stadium.

Nads at Rhinos

Rhino Nads

Rhinos 3, Nads 2

Gm1 – 2-2 tie until top of 8^th – A. Gonzalez went deep.Nads enjoyed a one run lead until the bottom of the 9^th when the Rhinos scored 2 for the win 4-3

Gm2 – Rhinos shutout the Nads 4-0 – Nads suck!!!

Gm3 – 2-2 tie after 9 innings. Saito pitched lights out ball as he retired 13 straight Rhinos. JD Drew homered in the top of the 13^th and that was enough – Nads won 3-2

Gm4 – Nads scored 8 runs in the top of the 2^nd inning and go on to win 12-5

Gm5 - Rhinos win 6-5  Nad bullpen gave up 3 runs in the bottom of the 8^th and then one more in the bottom of the 9^th.

Game files, boxscores and stats attached

Wahoos at Zaps

Zaps 3, Wahoos 2

Wahoos salvaged the final two games of their series with the Zaps in Zapperville.

 

Game 1: Zaps win 5-3.

Game 2: Wahoos had a chance but Jose Reyes wins it with a walkoff homer. Zaps 5-4.

Game 3: Zaps do it again, 4-3.

Game 4: Jed Lowrie snaps a 1-1 tie with a 2-run homer off Scott Downs. Marmol hangs on for the save. 3-2.

Game 5: Zaps score in the first then get quiet. Youkilis hit a pinch grand slam off Downs or Kuo -- can't recall who -- and the Marmol hangs on for the save. 4-1.

Wild Card Update

Winding down... We'd have a clearer picture if THE WAHOOS WOULD PLAY SOME DAMN GAMES!

But as it stands now, the Braves, er, Bees took a huge hit closing out the regular season getting swept on the Zapper's computer. He needs a lot of help, and the best he can hope for is that last seed. The DVs eliminated any hope the Fungoes had of sneaking in, while at the same time putting himself in good position to get a playoff spot - barring a hot finish to the season from either the Rhinos or the Mavs. The Mavs need to go 6-3 down the stretch to tie the DVs. The Rhinos, who lost 4 of 5 against Buster Posey and the Drillers, need an 8-2 finish. The Wahoos, with 26 fucking games still left to play, could finish anywhere from BUD champs (they are 1.5 back of the Warpigs) to out of the playoffs completely. Hell, mathematically, the Wahoos could still win the #1 overall seed.

Here are the standings:

B.U.D.	W	L	%	GB	Remaining Games
Wahoos	74	62	.544	--	26
DVs	85	77	.525	2.0	0
Bees	84	78	.519	3.0	0
Mavs	79	74	.516	3.5	9
Rhinos	77	75	.507	5.0	10

Fungoes at DVs

DVs 4, Fungoes 3

A spirited 7 game netplay series saw the DVs take 4 of 7 in the DiamondVision home park.

Game 1 – DVs 6 Fungoes 5. A seesaw battle that saw Zimmerman homer in the 7^th to tie, then Fowler homers in the 8^th to put the DVs up a run. Fungoes play small ball with a sac fly in the top of the 9^th to tie the game as the DVs can’t score after loading the bases with one out which sends the game to extra innings. Finally Aramis Ramirez sends the DV faithful home happy with a walk off homer in the bottom of the 12^th.

Game 2 – Jon Garland is smoking with a 3 hit shutout as the Fungoes take the game 3-0.

Game 3 – Kia’ahue hits a pinch hit home run in the 7^th to provide the difference in a 5-4 DV win

Game 4 – DVs prevail 8-7 in a game that saw 5 lead changes and the DVs score 3 in the bottom of the 8^th after Zimmerman’s error allows 2 unearned runs to open the floodgates.

Game 5 – DVs lead 7-2 going into the 9^th, only to see the bullpen completely meltdown as the Fungoes plate 5 runs, with Nelson Cruz’ grand slam being the big blow. Mike Stanton walks off with a homer in the bottom of the 10^th to secure the DV win at 8-7.

Game 6  - Fungoes win 8-4 behind the strength of a Zimmerman grand slam in the 7^th

Game 7 – Fungoes win 8-4 behind Garland as the Fungoes knock Halladay out in the fourth inning. Fungoes stole something like 4,000 bases in the series and made McCann’s life a living, breathing hell.