Warpigs vs SuperGoofs

Goofs 5, Pigs 3

We played all 7 of the Pig home games and 1 of the Goofs' in order to get to 50 under the deadline. The Goofs pounded the ball, hitting 21 homers in 8 games. Oddly, all of them were on either 4-11, 4-12, 4-2, or 6-2.

Game 1 - Goofs win 4-1. Greg Zaun hit 2-run homers in the 2nd and 3rd inning. Only a Adam Lind solo shot in the 9th kept this from being a shutout.

Game 2 - Pigs win 9-8. The Pigs jumped out to leads of 8-0 and 9-1, and then watched and laughed as the PigPen tried to get outs. Funny stuff. The game ended when the potential tying run was thrown out trying to steal 2nd.

Game 3 - Pigs win 8-4. An 8-run 3rd inning against Barry Zito was enough. Cliff Lee went the distance.

Game 4 - Goofs win 18-1. In what might have been the most perfect game in the glorious history of the Goofs, only two things marred the scorebook. The Pigs scratched across a run in the bottom of the 9th again to avoid the whitewashing, but the big story was former UTA star Hunter Pence. In the top of the 9th, Pence choked on a 1-16 homer chance, settling for the triple. The shame is, that would have been Pence's 4th home run of the game. He ended up 4/5 with 7 RBI and 15 total bases. Josh Beckett scattered 17 hits and 14 runs in his 7 innings of work.

Game 5 - Goofs win 9-3. The following is a list of all the interesting things that happened in this game:

Game 6 - Pigs win 8-6 in 11 innings. This game, on the other hand was kinda fun. Barry Zito, fresh from getting blasted by the Pig bats earlier, took a no-hitter into the 8th before Delmon Young squirted a single up the middle. Geovanny Soto, then pinch hit in an at bat saving move, and launched his first homer of the season to make the game 3-2. Mike Adams came in to calm things down, but he was pulled in the 9th for Jonathan Broxton. Broxton blew the save when Albert Pujols scored from 1st on a double by Oscar Salazar (1-9 at home). By this time, the PigPen (such as it is) was out of pitchers, so naturally the Goofs scored 3 in the top of the 10th. But the Pig offense wasn't finished, and matched the Goofs with 3 runs of their own. The game ended in the 11th when Cody Ross hit a 2-run homer off of Kyle McClellan.

Game 7 - Goofs win 12-1. The angry Goofs retaliated with a 6-run first and cruised to the win. Adam Lind homered for the Pigs.

Game 8 - Goofs win 6-3. In the "Get To 50!" game, the clubs moved to GoofyVille, and the Goofs stay hot to win the game.

DVs vs FFTs and DVs vs Zaps

From the Propeller Head...
Okay, the vacation took a turn for the worse as I got all the games I
had instructions for played. I do not have Zaps email here so please
pass along this note as appropriate. Since typing on the iPhone is
only slightly less painful than watching my team, I shall be brief.
DVs go 3-7 vs FFTs and 1-4 vs Zaps.
Only observations are that the 2-8 straight home run shot on Fatboy
Fielder's card is ridiculous. Please, he couldn't carry his dad's
bratwurst. And Maicer Izturus hitting a grand slam off of Halladay to
provide the winning runs in a critical game 9 is ludicrous as well.
Stats will be sent within 24 hours of my return to civilization. DVs
now 42-49 after a brief visit to the intoxicating .500 level.
Back to the beer.

Drillers vs Wahoos

From the Driller Dude...

Drillers and Wahoos go 5 – 5 in a series that saw Ellsbury steal home after stealing 2nd and third; Lincecum have a 1.38 era and go 1 – 1; Jeter make 4 errors and allow 4 hits by him.

Tweeners vs Sidewinders

From the Snakeman...

Snakes and Tweeners split 10 in Russellville. We finish the season series 7-7. Another year in the books in the heated intrastate rivalry.

6/14 -Kubel hits a HR in the top of the 10th to give the SSWs a 3-2 win.

6/15 The Tweeners torch the snake staff 12-3

6/16 Snakes score 3 in the first on a Kubel HR and make it stand up 3-2. Lilly gets the win, Wuertz the save.

7/26 Tweeners win 5-3

7/27 Jimenez throws a 6 hit shutout, snakes win 7-0

7/28 On Edgardo Alfonzo bobblehead night, fans at the Church Lot were treated to free baseball courtesy of Carlos Pena who hit a HR in the top of the ninth off of Wuertz to tie the game at 2. Each team scores one in the 12th. Pena hits a grand slam off of Masterson in the top of the 13th to win it for the Tweeners. The field was promptly showered with Alfonzo heads by the Stanley faithful......

9/12 Neftali loses his first game as the Tweeners win 3-2.

9/13 A miserable day for pitchers as this DH is split 8-5 and 6-12.

9/14 Lester saves the snakes from a tweener split by tossing a 5 hit shutout.

Inmates vs Fungoes

Two oddities in this series. One, the first game ended with an unprecedented (in NASOMA, anyway) walk-off steal of home. The other oddity is some nice game reports from BOTH managers. Here are both...

From The HEAD INMATE...

The Beakless Chicken Gang played the inaugural NASOMA series at WTF Park at Fungoe Estates, only to be treated like shit by the Fungi.

FUNGOES 2, INMATES 1 – A 12-inning pitchers’ duel with nine Inmate/Fungoe pitchers allowing only a total of 17 hits. A walk-off steal of home (!!!???) on a 1-6 roll with two outs in the bottom of the 12th sealed the win for the cheatin’ bastages of Fungoeville. WTF!

INMATES 3, FUNGOES 0 – Five Inmate pitchers combine to toss an 8-hit shutout.

INMATES 10, FUNGOES 2 – Vazquez shuts down the Fungoe bats, while Rowland-Smith and the Fungoe arson squad pitch batting practice. B. Molina and A. Jones tater for the Inmates.

FUNGOES 13, INMATES 6 – A Beltre grand-salami in the Inmates 1st is all the Baptist Bowl Choralaires had to sing about as the Fungoe bats awoke to pound out 15 hits, including a slammer of their own.

FUNGOES 4, INMATES 3 – A missed 1-10 HR by Ryan Howard is all that stood between ingnominy and extra-innings for the Inmates. Inmates chose to be ignominious. Papelbon shuts down Impotenmate bats in 9th to take prophylactic match. Inmates now 18-27.


And from the Fungass...

Fungoes and Inmates played today at WTF Field. The results of the inaugural games here at WTF are as follows:

Game 1:

Fungoes score the first run at WTF with a 2nd inning Triple by Zimmerman followed by a sac fly by Figgins. Wakefield gives up a run in the top of the third and the game remains tied up until the 12th inning. Fungoes leadoff batter Brett Gardner singles in the bottom of the twelth inning. Cesar izturis lays down the sac bunt and then Denard Span moves Gardner to third with the ground-out to second base. Fungoes manager Al Kaline then flashes the steal sign to Gardner who speeds down the line and steals home for the win!!! Papelbon picks up the win as the Fungoes win game one, 2-1.

Game 2:

Inmate pitching, incensed at the steal of home in game one shut down the Fungoes in game two as 5 hurlers combine for the shutout. Price takes the loss for the Fungoes as the Inmates win game two, 3-0.

Game 3:

Inmates score 4 in the first and never look back, winning it big 10-2. Row-Smith gives up the four spot in the first for the loss.

Game 4:

Inmates score 4 again in the first inning. Kershaw gives up the four spot in the first along with single runs in the 4th and 5th, yet he hangs on for the win as the Fungo offense wakes up and scores 6 in the second and 6 in the fifth, coasting to the 13-6 win.

Game 5:

Fungoes win a close game 5, 4-3 with Stetter picking up the win and Papelbon the save!

Fungoes win 3 of 5 raising their overall record to 32 - 24.

The big question the day; is a steal of home to win it considered a "walk-off" Steal!!!

Sidewinders at Mavs

The Mavs lost 4 of 5 to the 1st place Snakes.

NASOMAspeak

Zaps suck = We're so bad we lost a series to Sally and the DeeVees!

DVs at Zaps

DVs 3, Zaps 2

From the Zapper...

Zaps suck.

Fungoes vs Wahoos

From the Fungoid...

Fungoes and Wahoos played 8 today. Wahoos jumped on the Fungomiester early winning the first three games. Fungoes would turn things around though, winning the last five! Here are the highlights:

Game 1:

Wahoos score three in the 2nd and three in the 3rd (all off of Kershaw) winning game one 9-1.

Game 2:

Wahoos get to Porcello for 4 runs in 5 innings and then make it stand up winning 4-2.

Game 3:

Wahoos score five in the 8th smashing the Fungoes 10-2. Ryan Rowland-Smith takes the loss!

It was somewhere around this point when the /Fungoes thought about heading for home.......we were being harassed by the Indians and Chief Wahoo was on the warpath!

Game 4:

Fungoes score in the third inning for our first lead of the day! Fungoes go on to win 4-1. Row-Smith picks up the win and Paps gets the save for the Fungi.

Game 5:

Kershaw redeems himself as he and Pinto combine for the shutout! Fungoes win 5-0.

Game 6:

Fungoes bats wake up to the tune of 18 hits and the Fungoes win it 12-5. Pinto gets the win and Feldman picks up a three inning save. A strange occurrence took place in Game six as four straight Wahoo batters hit second base X chances. Hudson is a 1e10 and you'd think this would be great for the Fungoes. Unfortunately he booted three of the four chances!!!

Game 7:

Wahoos lose a heart-breaker when the Fungoes score 5 in the top of the 9th to win 6-2. Trailing 1-0 in the 8th Matt Wieters hits a ballpark homer (1 through 6) and rolls it for the tie score. In the bottom of the the frame Wahoos hit a ballpark homer (1) to take a 2-1 lead. Fungoes hit 2 homers in the top of the ninth for the comeback! Vargas picks up the win in relief for the Fungoes.

Game 8:

Fungoes win the finale 5-2. Pinto wins it while Papelbon picks up the save.

Fungoes are now 29 - 22

Inmates are making the trip up Sunday for the first games in the new "friendly" confines of WTF field!

Sidewinders at Wahoos

From the Chief...

Wahoos win 2 of the first 3, but things fell apart in the last two and went 2-3. For the season, we split the series.

Drillers at Sidewinders

From the Snakeman...

WTF??? Why is LeBron James a topic on BB TONIGHT???

Snakes go 4-1 vs the drillers at the snakepit.

We have not been playing well on the road, 5-10 last 15 away from Stanley. The drillers won the first game 3-2. The last 4 were 8-1, 10-1, 4-0,13-0. We did not face Lincecum or Haren. I guess DD did not feel he needed to bring his "A" squad to the snakepit OR he is saving them for my favorite girl group Sally and the DeeVees.......

DVs vs Sidewinders

From the DeeVee...

DVs take 4 of 5 at home and then Snakes almost pull back to even by going 3-2 in the Snakepit. Total runs for the series were 39 each, Snakes couldn’t capitalize at a few key times in the series, with the DVs hitting more homers (7 to 4). Some highlights:

Game 1 With Starlin Castro watching from the press box, DVs win 8-1 as Cahill gives up a run in the first, but then spins a 2 hitter and the DVs bats carry the load
Game 2 SSWs pound Aaron Cook and lead 10-0 going into the 6th behind Zambrano. The DVs mount a challenge that is only strong enough to attract the attention of the ‘hotties’ sitting behind the dugout, and eventually the Snakes prevail 10-6. Jeremy Hellickson is spotted lurking around the player entrance to the DV locker room.
Game 3 – Halladay and Lester hook up in a nice duel, with the DVs winning 5-3
Game 4- The only extra inning game, Matt Holliday has a walk off walk and the DVs win 4-3
Game 5 – Cahill stays hot and wins 4-1. The series shifts to the Snake Pit:
Game 6 – Snakes get off to a good start behind a complete game by Jimenez as they win 4-3 on a Markakis walk off double that drove in Derek Lee, who had a pinch hit double ahead of him
Game 7- DVs ensure at least a split with a 3-2 win with the bullpen contributing 2 and 2/3 scoreless innings
Game 8 – Danks pitches well and the SSW win 4-3.
Game 9 –The DVs ride a Halladay complete game that notches his 9th win with a 3 hit shutout.
Game 10 – Mike Stanton takes BP with the DV major leaguers before the game, to which Snakes manager is overhead to comment: “Damn”. Zambrano takes charge in the real game however, and the Sidewinders romp 11-1.

Sidewinders at Drillers

From the Driller Dude...

Drillers go 3 and 2 vs Snakes in Mud Pit.

Game 1: Longoria boots two yet some scrub named “Murphy” turns DPs… Even in a perfect world, Drillers shouldn’t be on the same field with Snakes. 5 – 2 Snakes.

Game 2: Mauer goes deep on a 1 to 3. Driller clean-up hitter ties it via suicide squeeze! Shields makes an early Sac Fly stand up with help of pen! Drillers win, 2 – 1.

Game 3: Kubel makes a catch, hits a tater, then gives up a triple to Valbuena. Markakis adds insurance run. David Murphy blasts a pinch-hit, 2-out, 3-run shot off Soriano to put Drillers up 5 – 3 for good. Lincecum moves to 4 – 5 on the year with victory.

Game 4: Ellsbury blasts a 3-run DONG off Peavy in 2nd after Beltran gives up a fbB + 2 base error to, THAT MAN, Valbuena! Luckily, David Wright is “W” power vs righties or the game would have been tied in the 5th ! Wright missed another “wish I was “N” 3-run shot in the 8th thus tying the game rather than taking a 3-run lead! Ellsbury singles, moves the third on Johnson’s single to right and scores on Jeter’s Sac Fly to set up Nathan for his 3rd win. Drillers win 5 – 4. Thank you Mr. limp wristed David Wright!

Game 5: Not to beat a dead horse… an error by our favorite 3rd baseman, David Wright, allowed the Drillers to break the scoreless tie in the 5th. Zambrano went on to walk the bases full plus one. He left the field grabing his crotch in a suggestive manner muttering something in the direction of third. Neftali accidently tossed a warm-up pitch at Wright’s head… which he also dropped. Feliz cleans up the mess. Hammel promptly tires in the 6th with one out. Mind you this is only a 2 – 1 game, Drillers on top. At this point the Snakes have out hit Drillers TEN to ONE! Snakes tie it when Seth Smith drops a lfX single; Wilson Ks his way out of the inning holding the tie. Mauer blasts ANOTHER 1 to 3 ballpark tater with two out and two on in the 9th, followed up with 2-4 roll from D. Lee. Snakes out Drillers 14 to 2 but have to win it in the ninth. Snakes 5 – 2 to close it out.

Driller at Buckeyes

Buckeyes win 3 out of 5. Runs were scored, hits were... hit, errors were (possibly) made. Big strikeouts, nice glovework... But I'm only guessing.

Los Bees at Los DVs

It was Cinco de Mayo La Festivale Day at DV Field. Former DV great and Mexican hero Benji Gil threw out the first ball (well over the head of its intended target. Score that e6).

From Los DV...

Bees gain 5 more games on the FFTs – although the DVs take 3 of 5 to tamp down the Bee celebration.
Also had a first – Hal subbed in a player (Schumaker) at a position that wasn’t listed on his card – SS. DVs played the final inning under protest, but ended up winning in the bottom of the 9th, so justice prevails (see editor's note below). Overall a rather unrealistic series as Halladay lost a game.

Editor's note regarding the substitution oddity: Dugout conversation transcript:

BeeBoy: Gonzalez, get Wilson outta there. He sucks so bad. Gawdammit! You go to shortstop.
Alberto Gonzalez: I no play, senor. Is Viva la Revolution day! A national holiday. My family much pride. I no play.
BeeBoy: Get your ass out there.
Gonzalez: Umm... no.
BeeBoy: You know, this day has nothing to do with a revolution. It was just some damn war.
Gonzalez: Viva la Revolution!!!!
BeeBoy: Besides, aren't you from Venezuela?
Gonzalez: VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!!!
Benji Gil: I'll play.
Schumaker: I'll do it, sir! Fuck the Mexicans!
BeeBoy: Do you play shortstop?
Schumaker: Well, no, but I know where to stand.
BeeBoy: You do?
Schumaker: A bit.
Gil: I'll play.
BeeBoy: Fine, Schumaker. Get out there. We'll have to go ahead and lose this one, though, to avoid any kind of protest. And let me tell you, it ain't easy losing to the fuckin' DVs. Damn bunch of sissies. Fuck em!

Standings Update - May 1

B.U.D.	W	L	%	GB		Remaining Games	Last Update
Rhinos	28	17	.622	--		117	3/28/10
Wahoos	19	17	.528	4.5		126	5/1/10
SuperGoofs	19	23	.452	7.5		120	5/1/10
Warpigs	17	25	.405	9.5		120	5/1/10
M.F.D.	W	L	%	GB
Buckeyes	39	31	.557	--		92	4/30/10
Nads	37	34	.521	2.5		91	4/22/10
Inmates	16	24	.400	8.0		122	5/1/10
Mavs	22	42	.344	14.0		98	4/18/10
A.W.D.	W	L	%	GB
Sidewinders	34	17	.667	--		111	4/18/10
Killer Bees	50	40	.556	3.5		72	5/1/10
Pastas	41	35	.539	5.5		86	5/1/10
Tweeners	19	21	.475	9.5		122	4/26/10
N.E.R.D.D.	W	L	%	GB
Drillers	25	17	.595	--		120	5/1/10
Fungoes	24	19	.558	1.5		119	4/8/10
DVs	26	30	.464	6.0		106	5/1/10
FFTs	30	54	.357	16.0		78	4/13/10

Warpigs at Wahoos

Wahoos sweep a 3-game set at The Reservation.

Game 1 - Wahoos 7, Warpigs 3 - Aramis Ramirez hit a solo HR in the 4th, and two batters later Vernon Wells added a 3-run shot. That was all Gil Meche needed. Josh Beckett took the loss.

Game 2 - Wahoos 6, Warpigs 1 - Wade Davis lost the shutout on a 9th inning, clutch single, but he still got the complete game win, striking out 12.

Game 3 - Wahoos 4, Warpigs 3 - Why alcohol was invented: After Colby Rasmus hit a 2-run single in the top of the 9th inning to tie the game at 3, the Wahoo's bottom of the 9th went like this:
1. (Aaron Laffey pitching) Milton Bradley reaches on a ballpark single.
2. Vernon Wells attempts a hit and run, but rolls a strikeout. Because he is a "C" hit and run guy, he misses the pitch.
3. Bradley (who is not a *) needed a 6 to be running with a good lead. Naturally, he got it. But still, the Laffey/Olivo battery is a -5, s0 it was 1-8 to steal second. Bradley rolled the 3. The T-rating was 1-10. Overthrow. Runner is on third now. (A less patient, less mature man than myself would be throwing dice by now. Or a pen.)
4. Wells grounds out with the runner holding. 1 down.
5. Lastings Milledge pinch hits for Salty, and is intentionally walked.
6. Drew Stubbs hits for Jimmy Rollins and rolls a flyB, which is a single due to the outfield playing in. Game over.

The Wahoos reach the May 1 deadline with more than an hour to spare.

Killer Bees at Inmates

From The HEAD INMATE...

Inmates and Bees split a pair at the Baptist Bowl.

GAME 1 – Bees 6, Inmates 4 (15 innings). Inmate Arson Squad blows a 4-2 lead, then closer Guzman allows a two-run homer to Stewart in 15^th for the Bee win.

GAME 2 – Inmates 3, Bees 1. Bees were done in by a passed ball and an error. Howard tattered for the Inmates.

Inmates now 16-24.

SuperGoofs at Drillers

From the Driller Dude...

Drillers go 4 – 1 vs Goofs.

Hammel records first win! Drillers 5 – 3 in game one.

Ellsbury swipes 25th base in young season. Drillers 3 – 2 in game two.

Rzxpsktyvydrt out duels Zito in battle of lefties with odd names. Drillers 3 – 1 in game three.

Zito comes back for a shut out. Goofs 2 – 0 in game four.

Longoria goes 0 fer 7, hitting .168 on the season, but Sanches gets a win in 17 @#^%$ innings. Drillers 6 – 5 in game five.

Zaps at Inmates

From The HEAD INMATE...

Inmates 3 - Zaps 2 at the Baptist Bowl

Five close games at the Baptist Bowl:

GAME 1 – Inmates 3, Zaps 2. Matt Diaz hits two doubles. Both pitching staffs pitch well. Rodriguez takes the loss despite 9 Ks in 6 1/3 IP.

GAME 2 – Zaps 6, Inmates 3. A 3-all tie until the Inmate Arson Squad comes in to allow 3 runs on 7 hits in the last three innings. Howard wastes a pair of homers for the Inmates.

GAME 3 – Zaps 7, Inmates 6. 8 screaming fans watched the Zaps rally from a 5-2 deficit to squeak past the Inmate Arson Squad. Aardsma comes in with the winning run at the plate and saves the game for the Zaps.

GAME 4 – Inmates 2, Zaps 1. A classic pitchers’ duel. Both teams get 7 hits, but Inmates win in 9^th on Bengie Molina single with one out, scoring Chipper Jones. Floyd Ks 10 in complete game win.

GAME 5 – Inmates 3, Zaps 1. Another great pitching duel until Rhodes self-immolates in relief of Greinke in the 8^th. With 2 on, Rhodes allows 2 hits and a walk without getting an out. Vazquez Ks 11 in 8 2/3 for the win.

Inmates are now 15-23.

DVs at Killer Bees

Bees take 4 out 5 at the Hive.