Killer Bees at Buckeyes

Buckeyes 4, Bees 1

Buckeyes go 4-1 against the Bees at your place. We hate your fuckin park...I must have missed at least 6 or 7 ballpark homer chances.

Bees

Killer Bees at SuperGoofs

Bees 3, Goofs 2

Bees go 3-2 at your place.

(Editor's note: Ya gotta like that Beeboy's way with words.)

Drillers at Tweeners

Tweeners 3, Drillers 2

Drillers 2 At Tweeners 3

4/22 Drillers lose 9 - 8 at Hoover Dome in a game where these two teams
somehow combine to score 17?
4/23 Drillers out hit Tweeners 13 - 7 and see Rajai Davis deliver the game
winning hit off Gregorson in the 8th for a 7 -5 Driller win.
4/24 After FIFTEEN innings we stand around waiting for Nick Hundley to kick
one in RF to give Driller Nation a 2 - 1 victory.
7/18 Tweeners win 3 - 2 .
7/19 Driller's tying run thrown out at plate in top of ninth as we waste an
awesome outing from Javier Vazquez with a 2 - 1 loss.

Sidewinders at SuperGoofs

Snakes 3, Goofs 2

Snakes take 3 of 5 from the Goofs. It was a very tight series. All the games were decided by one run.

5/23 Jimenez wins,Feliz saves the 3-2 victory.Huff homers.

5/24 Danks allows 2 hits in 3-2 loss. Zito wins and Adams gets the save. BTW- those 2 hits were homeruns by Hunter and Quentin.

5/25 John Jaso doubles home the winning run in the bottom of 13th for 9-8 Goofs win.

8/18 J Garcia goes the distance for the 4-3 Goof loss. Morrow wins and Feliz saves the game. Rare 3 run HR by D Wright....

8/19 Jimenez wins,Feliz with a 2 inning save. Ryan Kalish hits 2 run HR, Snakes win 4-3. Broxton is the loser,wasting a nice outing by Pineiro.

ssws

Tweeners at Drillers

Tweeners 3, Drillers 2

Donkeys fly, we won a series. Game one Wainwright gets no help again, 4th start in which we give him zero run support. V-Mart's single to lead off the 7th breaks up Romero's no-hitter, then he is immediately caught stealing. Tweeners lose 1-0.

Then we start using the "s" key rather than "enter" for Tweeners' batters, and we win 3 in a row. In game 2, Corey Hart smacked 2 homeruns and had 5 RBI as the NORM TWEENERS defeated the SHAWN DRILLERS 6 to 1 at AT&T Park. Hart provided much of the offense. He doubled in the 5th inning, clubbed a solo home run in the 8th inning and lost the ball over the fence for three runs in the 9th inning. NORM had 7 hits for the afternoon. The win went to Felix Hernandez(4-4) who allowed 1 run in 6 and 2/3 innings. The losing pitcher was Jeff Niemann(4-6). 'I just got in the box, looked for a pitch and swung,' Hart said. 'That's it'

We then swept the 9/1 doubleheader. In game 1, Center fielder Vernon Wells lofted one into the 'cheap seats' and had 3 RBI and Sergio Romo slammed the door on SHAWN as the NORM TWEENERS topped the SHAWN DRILLERS by a score of 6 to 5 at AT&T Park. NORM scored the winning runs in the 8th inning plating 2 runs. After an out was recorded, Luke Scott was the sparkplug when he drew a walk. One out later, Nick Swisher stepped in and he drew a walk. Pinch-hitter James Loney then tripled (on a 1-4/fly roll). Alex Gonzalez was next to bat, but he was a strikeout victim. Romo was great in relief and recorded his 3rd save. Felix Hernandez(5-4) got the win allowing 5 runs in 7 innings. Tim Lincecum(1-5) was given the loss. His ERA ballooned from 4.65 to 4.97 as he allowed 6 runs in 7 and 2/3 innings.

In the nightcap, Adam Wainwright whiffed 11 batters as the NORM TWEENERS outscored the SHAWN DRILLERS in 12 innings 6 to 4. Both teams were tied at 4 runs apiece after nine innings. NORM ended up winning it in the 12th inning. Ben Zobrist led off the inning for NORM when he doubled. Jose Tabata came next and he drew a walk. Nick Swisher then laid down a sacrifice bunt. Shane Victorino followed next and he banged out a single. The score went back-and-forth with the lead changing 5 times. The victory went to Sergio Romo(2-3) who went 1 inning, allowing no runs. Luke Gregerson recorded the save, his 2nd. Jon Rauch(2-1) absorbed the loss in relief.

Tweeners' offense reverts to form in game 5 as we get 4 hits and lose 2-1. Mad-Bum pitches well (again) and runs his record to 1-7.

Mavs at SuperGoofs

Mavs 3, Goofs 2

Sorry I took so long. Got a lot going on at work. Mavs take 3 of 5. The second game was the wild one. Be sure to check that one out.

MavMan

1- Mavs win 5-4
2- Mavs win 13-12
3- Mavs win 7-1
4- Goofs win 12-3
5- Goofs win 6-5

Tweeners at SuperGoofs

Goofs 3, Tweeners 2

Game 1 shutout by Piniero nullifies a strong outing by Wainwright, the 7th time in 59 games Tweeners failed to score. We split the Ewing Oiler doubleheader; the 4-3 loss in the opener featured K-Rod's BS+L. In the nightcap we jump on Volquez for 6 ER in 1.2 and hold on for a 10-7 win; 2 HR by Luke Scott. Wainwright sucked in game 4, Goofs win 9-3. We salvage the split by taking the finale 6-2 behind Gio Gonzalez's 12K CG. Scott drove in all our runs with 2 more HRs, including a granny. I swear someday we will start to win some of these series, probably just in time to nail down that #10 pick. I move that we amend the rules so that the non-playoff team with the best record gets the #1 pick.

DVs at Killer Bees

DVs 3, Bees 2

Game 1 – Bees win 7-6 in a 15 inning affair.

Game 2 – DVs win 4-3 as Lackey (sucks) overcomes 3 solo home runs by the Bees

Game 3 – DVs win 5-0 as Halladay spins a 1 hitter (Ramon Hernandez double in the 6^th – yeah THAT’S realistic)

Game 4 – Bees win 7-5 as Scott Rolen’s 3 run HR in the 8^th garners a come from behind win

Game 5 - DVs win 5-3. No game report as DVs found awesome internet porn which was quite distracting

Buckeyes at Sidewinders

Buckeyes 4, Snakes 1

Jun 16 GPB 1 SSW 0 - Meek wins in relief. Only run scored was C Jones on a Rios single

June 17 GPB 6 SSW 0 - Carpenter and 2 relievers shutout SSW for second straight game. Buck with a 3 run HR and Big Papi 2 solo shots off Jimenez

July 28 GPB 6 SSW 5 Big Papi another big HR and a double. Barton also homered. K. Loe the win in relief.

July 29 (1) SSW 4 GPB 1 - Rasmus with an HR and Branyan drives in2. Danks strikeout 10 and Feliz come on for the save.

July 29 (2) GPB 10 SSW 8. Big Papi caps off a great 5 games with 4 hits and 5 RBI's with 2 of the hits HR's. Morrow gives up 5 unearned runs in 4th on a Rasmus error.

Sidewinders at Drillers

Drillers 4, Snakes 1

Drillers take 4 of 5

4/19 Drillers 4-3 Vlad and Posey go yard,Wilson saves Hammel's win.

4/20 Snakes win 2-1 on Branyan SF in the 8th

4/21 all scoring is over after 2 innings. Drillers win 2-1. Morrow with CG loss. Wilson saves Haren's win. Konerko with solo HR.

7/15 Haren beats Peavy, Drillers roll 9-6 behind Posey and Konerko homers

7/16 Drillers win 7-1;Romero beats Jimenez.

ssws

Inmates at SuperGoofs

Goofs 5, Limpdickmotherfuckers 0

(all games at the GoofDome)

Goofs 5 – LDMF 2: Inmates manage 4 fucking hits and suck big time.

Goofs 3 – LDMF 2 (10): Inmates manage 4 singles and suck big time (squared).

Goofs 4 – LDMF 1: Inmates get 9 hits and still can’t score. They couldn’t score in a whore house full of nymphomaniacs.

Nymphomaniac Whores 4 – LDMF 0: See?

Goofs 7 – LDMF 3: Jones hits a three-run homer for LDMF. Goof starter Pineiro is immediately crucified, drawn, quartered, and made fun of by all fans in GoofLand. His self-esteem may never be the same.

The HEAD Limpdickmotherfucker

Mavs at Drillers

Mavs 5, Drillers 0 (Mavs sweep! Baseball version)

well I kept waiting for the Driller bats to wake up. I guess that will happen in the games you play. I will send a rotation and manager later this week.

The Mav score is the first one.

May 18	1-0
May 19	6-4
May 20	7-3
August 12	9-4
August 13	4-0

Zaps at Drillers

Zaps 4, Drillers 1

Game 1- Walker hits a game-winning tater in the 10^th

Game 2- Three solo shots back up Greinke’s strong start

Game 3- Johnson & League combine to shut out the Drillers

Game 4- Greinke has another strong start & Utley launches 2 taters

Game 5- Zaps win a slugfest behind Abreu’s two taters.

Inmates at Drillers

Drillers 4, Inmates 1

Inmates lose 4 of 5 at Oklahomo Stadium.

23 May: Drillers 4 – Inmates 3 (12)

Chacin comes on in the 12^th, retires no batters.

24 May: Drillers 3 – Inmates 2 (12)

Pennington’s clutch error in the bottom of the 12^th hands Drillers another W.

25 May: Drillers 2 – Inmates 1

Only a Gonzalez tater with two outs in the 9^th prevent Inmates from being shutout. The three Inmate hits give a total of seven in the last two games (21 innings).

18 August: Drillers 5 – Inmates 2

Drillers score three in the bottom of the 8^th thanks to two (2) Pennington errors.

19 August: Inmates 3 – Drillers 2

INMATES WIN! INMATES WIN! INMATES WIN! Carlos Pena homer in the 8^th is the winning hit.

Inmate pitching held up their end of the bargain during series, with a 2.25 ERA for the five games. Cancer-bat was the order of the day for the hitters, as the Dickless Ones hit .192. Beltre, Howard, and Fuckyoudome combined for a rousing 7-59 with one double and no RBI.

Sigh…

The HEAD INMATE

SuperGoofs at Buckeyes

Buckeyes 3, Goofs 2

April 17 Buckeyes 10 Goofs 4 - Dice K the winner with Pence, Ortiz, and Nix having HR's. Nix drives in 4.

April 18 Goofs 8 Buckeyes 7 (10 innings) - Overbay with a walkoff HR in the 10th

July 13 Goofs 6 Buckeyes 0 - Piniero and Franklin combine on a 4 hitter

July 14 Buckeyes 5 Goofs 4 - Barton with a 9th inning HR off Wood to break the 4-4 tie

July 15 Buckeyes 5 Goofs 4 - Big Papi with an HR HR to break the tie. Meek comes on in 9th for the save.

Wahoos vs Rhinos

Rhinos 7, Wahoos 0

Wahoos lose Game 1 at the Rhinos, 5-1. Barry Enright dominates us for 6 innings. Votto homered.

Wahoos lose Game 2 at the Rhinos, 5-4. J.A. Happ was great for 7 innings but the Rhinos scored 4 times off him in the 8th. C.C. Sabathia went all the way for the win.

Wahoos lose Game 3 at the Rhinos, 3-2, in 10 innings. Kevin Youkilis homered twice for the good guys, but the Wahoos couldn't muster any offense against a collection of Jeff Francis, Matt Garza, Venters and Axford.

Wahoos lose Game 4 at home, 8-3. No one told the Wahoos that Josh Beckett's card is lousy. So he threw a complete game dominator. Meanwhile, Joey Votto continued killing us with 5 RBIs.

Wahoos lose Game 5 at home, 4-3. This time it was 3 runs in the 8th off Jeremy Guthrie and Brian Fuentes to lead the G.D. Rhinos. Votto and BJ Upton homered. So did Kevin Youkilis. But so what.

Wahoos lose Game 6 at home, 5-4. Rhinos scored 2 in the eighth and 1 in the ninth. Ethier and Votto homered.

Wahoos lose Game 7 at home, 2-1. This was a September game and luckily the last game of our day. Rhinos scored 2 in the ninth on a Ryan Braun homer. Josh Beckett again looked like a Cy Young winner.

Fungoes vs Rhinos

Fungoes 5, Rhinos 3

Fungoes and Rhinos played 8 today, Fungoes won 5 of the 8. Here are the highlights!

April 26:

RHINOS.............. 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 - 3 8 1
FUNGOES......... 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 - 1 6 1

Alex Rodriguez had 2 base hits and 2 RBI as the RHINOS topped the FUNGOES by a score of 3 to 1 at Pac Bell Park.

C.C. Sabathia pitched a solid game. He went 8 innings and surrended up 6
hits and 2 walks. The RHINOS had 8 hits for the night.

Sabathia got relief help from Matt Garza who gained credit for his 1st save.
Brett Myers(2-3) was the losing pitcher. He allowed 5 hits and 1 walk in 7
innings.

April 27:

RHINOS.............. 0 1 0 0 0 2 0 0 0 - 3 10 0
FUNGOES......... 1 0 0 0 2 0 1 0 X - 4 9 0

Ryan Zimmerman hit 2 doubles and had 4 RBI as the FUNGOES beat the
RHINOS by a score of 4 to 3.

RHINOS were unable to claim the lead after the FUNGOES went ahead in the bottom of the
7th inning scoring a single run. Coco Crisp drew a walk. Brett Gardner was
next and he laid down a sacrifice bunt. Chone Figgins was the next batter,
but he struck out (AGAIN). Zimmerman followed next and he doubled. The FUNGOES finished
with 9 hits in the victory.

The win went to Clayton Kershaw(4-3) who allowed 3 runs in 7 innings. Ernesto
Frieri preserved the game for Kershaw, recording his his 10th. Matt
Garza(0-1) was given the loss in relief.

July 20:

RHINOS.............. 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 - 2 10 2
FUNGOES......... 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 1 - 3 7 1

One run was the difference at Pac Bell Park as the WTFs defeated the
RHINOS in 10 innings 3 to 2.

The score was knotted at 2 after nine innings. FUNGOES won the hard fought
contest in the 10th inning. Chone Figgins drew a walk. Mike Napoli was next
to bat, but he was a strikeout victim. After another out, Nelson Cruz came
to bat and drew a walk. Ivan Rodriguez followed and he ripped a base-knock
to load the bases. Orlando Hudson stepped into the box and drew a (WALK OFF) walk
giving the FUNGOES the victory as 40,104 happy fans celebrated wildly (due to ten cent beer night). The RHINOS had 10
hits in the game while the FUNGOES had 7, but they were timely hits.

Will Ohman went 1 inning allowing no runs for the victory. The losing
pitcher was Jonny Venters in relief. He gave up 3 hits and 2 walks in 1
and 2/3 innings.

June 7:

FUNGOES......... 0 0 0 0 3 1 0 0 0 - 4 10 0
RHINOS.............. 0 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 - 3 3 0

Clayton Kershaw got credit for the victory, pitching 6 innings and
allowing 3 runs. Barry Enright took the loss. He gave up 8 hits and 4
walks in 7 innings.

June 8:

FUNGOES......... 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 - 1 6 1
RHINOS.............. 0 3 0 0 0 3 0 0 X - 6 9 0

Designated hitter Hanley Ramirez touched them all and had 2 RBI while Brett
Cecil tossed a complete game as the RHINOS outscored the FUNGOES 6
to 1.

June 9:

FUNGOES......... 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 0 0 - 2 10 1
RHINOS.............. 0 2 0 1 0 3 2 0 X - 8 11 1

Josh Beckett allowed the RHINO'S manager to rest his bullpen for the second night in a row, tossing a complete
game as the RHINOS Bitch Slapped the FUNGOES by the score of 8 to 2 at
Wrigley Field.

September 3:

FUNGOES......... 0 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 - 4 8 0
RHINOS.............. 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 - 0 2 0

Jon Garland had a strong outing as the WTF-ers defeated the RHINOS
by a score of 4 to 0 at Wrigley Field.

Garland was tremendous on the mound for the FUNGI. He surrendered only 2
hits and 2 walks in 8 innings lowering his ERA to 2.91. FUNGOES had 8 hits for
the night while the RHINOS had 2.

The loss was charged to Matt Garza. He allowed 4 runs and 7 hits in 8
and 1/3 innings.

September 4:

FUNGOES......... 2 0 0 0 0 5 0 0 0 - 7 12 0
RHINOS.............. 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 - 1 5 1

Rick Porcello had an impressive outing and Ryan Zimmerman went yard and had 2
RBI as the FUNGOES outscored the RHINOS 7 to 1.

Fungoes and Rhinos have a double-header remaining scheduled for July 21 at WTF.

Sidewinders vs FFTs

FFTs 8, Snakes 2

SSWs @ FFTS

4/22 SSWs win 5-4 behind a Wright 3 run HR. Jimenez beats Weaver and Feliz gets the one out save.

4/23 Just as he did with the Tweeners, Oswalt dominates and the FFTs win 3-1

4/24 Manny doubles twice and drives in two to lead the FFTs to 5-2 win. Santana over Danks.

7/18 M Young has 3 hits and 3 RBI to power the FFTs to a 6-1 victory.Kuroda pitches 7 strong innings for the win.

7/19 SSWs win 7-6 in 10 innings.Feliz gets the win after blowing the lead in the 9th.

FFTS@SSWS

6/4 FFTS WIN 1-0.Santana allows 4 hits over 7. Mariano gets the save. The only run of the game scored in the 2nd on a 2 base error by Jason Bartlett. Sanchez allows 2 FFT hits and an unearned run in the CG loss.

6/5 Oswalt bests Peavy 6-4. Ichiro hits a 2 run tater

9/1 FFTs win 1-0 behind Kuroda and Rivera. Ubaldo is the tough luck loser.

9/1 FFTs take the nightcap 10-5. The SSWs find a new way to lose making 3 errors that lead to 6 unearned runs

9/2 Weaver and Rivera combine for the 5-3 mercy killing.

I am beginning to think Branyan and Thames are not enough to save this team.......

DVs at Tweeners

DVs 3, Tweeners 2

DVs take 3 of 5 from the Tweeners to complete the perfect Tweener split for the season (5-5).

G 1 DVs ride Latos to a 5-2 win.

G 2 The Tweeners bounce back as King Felix strikes out 15 and has a complete game to eat up some innings that the Mullen brothers won’t have to face in a 9-2 drubbing.

G 3 The DVs love the road hookers and pick up an unremarkable, but appealing to the eye candy, win at 7-4

G 4 The ping pong match continues with the Tweeners winning 6-2 as Luke Scott and Alex Gonzalez hit home runs to win back the favor of the ‘trim’ that had previously been stamped by the DVs

G 5 Roy Halladay continues to love road cooking as he evens his record at 5-5 with a 7-6 win that the bullpen nearly gave away. Roy has already requested the Cy Young voting this year be done with only road stats taken into account.

Enough of that, back to the chocolate bunnies.

DVs

Buckeyes at Tweeners

Buckeyes 3, Tweeners 2

Buckeyes 3 Tweeners 2 in 5 at Tweeners

June 7 - GPB 6 TWN 4 - Conrad with a 2 run pinch hit single in 8th breaks the 4 all tie.

June 8 - GPB 14 TWN 5 - Buckeyes pund out 17 hits. Buck with an HR and 5 RBI's

June 9 - TWN 2 GPB 0 - Scott with a 2 run HR in 9th to break the scoreless tie

Sept 3 - GPB 7 TWN 1 - Lilly the winner. Pence hits 2 HR's and Prado an HR

Sept 4 - TWN 9 GPB 4 - Hudson the winner. Hart drives in3 and Swisher drives in 2 with an HR. Tweeners hit 6 doubles.