DVs 3, Inmates 2

INMATES 7 – DVs 3 (at DV Land): Beachy outpitches Halladay while rare Inmate power outburst has Cargo, Beltre, and Howard all tatering.

DVs 14 – INMATES 3: (at DV Land): A close game until Chacin and then Kartsens decide to throw batting practice. Stanton and Hardy each hit two homers and the DVs total six for the game in an unmerciful bludgeoning of the LDMF.

DVs 5 – INMATES 2: (Baptist Bowl): DVs score a 5-run third inning off of Billingsley for all the runs they’d get and need.

INMATES 6 – DVs 3 (Baptist Bowl): Beachy Ks 15 in 8 innings and appears to be the only LDMF pitcher who can beat the DVs.

DVs 5 – INMATES 4 (Baptist Bowl): Halladay wins, but the Inmates score two in the bottom of the 9^th and have the tying run on 3^rd before Bard shuts the door. DVs have only four hits, but Inmate “pitchers” walk nine.

The HEAD INMATE

Sidewinders 3, Goofs 2

The snakes win 3 of 5 from the goofs.
5/20 SG 6 SSWs 2 Phillips homers
5/21 SSWs 7 SG 2 Peralta homers twice, Pineda winner and Harrison loser
5/22 SSWs win 3-1. Lohse hard luck CG loss, Morrow wins and Kimbrel with the save.
8/15 SSWs outlast the goofs 6-5. Cabrera and Thome homer and Kimbrel picks up his 5th save. He has saved all but one of the snakes 6 wins
8/16 DV's call Bees "Your stoopid brother" and since this game falls on his birthday, we give him a present of snake loss 3-0. Combined shutout by Harrison,Wood and Adams. First full house of the year at the SnakePit as we give out "My stoopid brother bobble heads". Riot ensues because the heads are too large and heavy for the body and fall off.
ssws

DVs 3, Zaps 2

Dv's take three of five on the road.

Game 1- Cabrera, McCutchen, and Morrison all hit taters to back up Wandy's 11 K's for a 4-3 Zap win.
Game 2-DV bats explode in a 20-1 victory. Total Domination.
Game 3- Craig hits two taters and a five run seventh powers the bad guys 9-7.
Game 4- DV bats tally 20 hits for the second time in the series to win 13-4.
Game 5- Cabrera's tater wins it in the 12th after the DV's scored two in the 9th to tie it.

Goofs 4, Zaps 1

The Super Goofs took full advantage of the Zaps benching starters to save at bats taking four of five.

Game 1- Shin-Soo Choo had 4 hits and Jaime Garcia struck out 10 batters on the way to a 9-3 Goof win.
Game 2-Matt Harrison went the distance in a 3-1 Goof triumph.
Game 3-Greinke, Benoit, and League combine for a 2-0 shutout for the defending champs.
Game 4-Guzman's tater and four RBI's power the Goofs to a 8-3 victory.
Game 5-Moreland's three run shot in the 2nd inning holds up as the Goofs take the getaway game 3-2.

Zaps 3, DVs 2

Zaps feast on the soft underbelly of the DV bullpen as they win 3 of 5.
Game 1 - DVs start hot with a 9-2 win behind 2 Helton home runs
Game 2 - Halladay allows 14 hits in 5 innings and the bullpen matches that
performance as the Zaps win easily 12-5.
Game 3 - Zaps win 11-9 as they answer a 6th run 6th inning by the DVs with a
6 run 8th off of Luebke and Storen
Game 4 - DVs win 9-6 behind a 5-5 night by Aramis Ramirez
Game 5 - Zaps win 6-3 as Morrison grand slams Bard in the 8th.

Tweeners 5, Goofs 0

Tweeners sweep the Goofs at the Hooverdome. Goofs snatched defeat from the jaws of victory in game one, blowing a 3 run lead as Tweeners scored 2 in the 8th and 1 in the 9th to force overtime. Goofs scored again in the 10th, but Zobrist hit a 2-run walk-off shot in the bottom half, his second homer of the game, Tweeners won 8-7. Goofs never recovered, scoring only 6 more runs in the other 4 games. Gio and Romo combined for a 5-hit shutout in game 2. In the nightcap Felix and friends prevailed 4-2, as Romo saved both ends of the Ewing Oiler Doubleheader. Game 4 went to the Tweeners 4-1, thanks to a Michael Morse 3-run homer. Gio won again, Romo saved again. In the finale, Tweeners scored 4 times before Kyle Kendrick could record an out, Daniel Hudson and friends made it hold up for a 4-3 win, this save going to the other Sergio (Santos).

FFTs 7, Sidewinders 3... Buckeyes 5, Sidewinders 0

For Seinfeld fans:
Jerry presses his answering machine and gets the following" Hey, it's George.I have nothing to say."

So it is with the lowly snakes, lower than snake bellies. We go 3-7 vs FFTs and 0-5 vs Buckeyes.
ssws

Zaps 3, Inmates 2

From the Baptist Bowl:

INMATES 3 – ZAPS 1: Norris is effective, giving up only one unearned run on 4 hits. Bastard-o gets the save.

ZAPS 14 – INMATES 10: Both teams get 18 hits in an ugly softball game. Billingsley finds the plate…often…but every pitcher except League gets ripped in this one.

ZAPS 5 – INMATES 3: Once again Billingsley shows his proficiency at throwing strikes. The LDMF bullpen does well after he’s yanked, but Zaps blast him again. Line for two starts: 7.2 IP/15 H/11 ER/9 BB and an error.

INMATES 9 – ZAPS 8: Another ugly game. A Fuk-u-dome RBI single in the 8^th plates the winning run.

ZAPS 12 – INMATES 2: Inmates make three errors and leave 12 on base. Rodriguez and Capuano shut down the LDMF.

Zaps hit 8 taters in series. Inmates hit 1 (by Bogusevic…).

The HEAD INMATE

Yu Darvish

Two notes from early in Yu's first MLB game...

Fox Sports Southwest made a huge deal out of his debut. Big pregame stuff. Then they go to commercial, and when they come back, he's already thrown his first two pitches.

Later in that really long top of the first, Tom Grieve said (something like) this, "A couple of balls have been hit pretty hard, but a couple of them have been chinkers." Yes. Chinkers. I assume he was referring to Ichiro's bloop to left, but maybe that's just his new word for weak hits off of Darvish.

Buckeyes 3, Zaps 2

Buckeyes 3 Zaps 2 in 5 games at Buckeyes

June 8 - Buckeyes 9 Zaps 0 - Hamels with CG 6 hitter

June 9 - Buckeyes 6 Zaps 2 - Dickey CG 5 hitter. Big Papi with an HR and Wells with a key PH single off O'Flaherty to break it open

July 19 - Zaps 8 Buckeyes 1 - Niese the winner. Duda has 3 hits. Cabrera and Martin with HR's

July 20 - Zaps 6 Buckeyes 2 - 4 run Zaps 9th breaks the 2-2 tie. Bautista's second HR of game is the big blow

July 21 - Buckeyes 10 Zaps 3 - Dickey the winner. 4 Buckeye HR's (Pence, Ortiz. Jeisey, and Posada)

Zaps 3, Inmates 2

Zaps take three of two from the Inmates.

Game 1- Scherzer and the pen hold down the Inmate bats on the way to a 5-3 win.
Game 2- Vernon Wells smashed 2 homeruns and Jorge De La Rosa carried a no-hitter intothe 7th inning as the Inmates hold on 7-4.
Game 3- Zaps go ahead 9-0 and hang on for an 11-7 win in a slugest.
Game 4- Espinoza hits a tater in the top of the 10th and Bastardo makes it stand up in a 7-6 Inmate triumph.
Game 5- Bautista belts two homers as the Zaps win another slugfest 10-7.

Fungoes 3, Zaps 2

Fungoes win 3 of 5 at home vs Zappers! 

Game 1:  Fungoes win 5-3.  Hanson takes the loss while Porcello gets the win.  Papelbon picks up the save.  Berkman clubs a homer!

Game 2:  Fungoes win 3-1.  Kershaw shuts down the Zaps and collects the win.  Scherzer takes the hard luck loss allowing one earned run and striking out 9 in 6 1/3!  Papelbon grabs another save for the Fungi.

Game 3:  Zap bats explode punishing Price and the Fungoes winning it 14-5.  Zaps score 6 in the first and 5 in the ninth!  Wandy Rodriquez picks up the win while Price is collared with the loss.  McCutchen hits two homers for the Zapper!

Game 4:  Fungoes win 5-3 with Kershaw picking up another win.  Niese gets the loss for the Zapper!  Papelbon with a save for the Fungi.

Game 5:  Zaps win this one 12-6 breaking open a 6-6 tie in the ninth and hanging a loss on Robertson.  The win goes to O'Flaherty in relief.  The biggest moment was provided by Russell Martin who quieted the home crowd when he clubbed a three-run home run.

Computer Manager Issues

The problem I face with making a computer manager is not the options I have, it's the options I don't have.

For example, when doing detail work with the pitchers, you are given the option of "Max 6 (or 7) IP for start."

What I NEED it to offer is MINIMUM 5-6 IP for start with this pitcher.

Or just a "don't remove starter before reaching POW." I'm not convinced the "Slow hook" option will do that.

Another option is "IBB less with this pitcher." It seems to me that it would make more sense to offer "IBB MORE with this pitcher" for those unbalanced pitchers. If my pitcher is a 9L and a RH batter is up with 2-3 LH batters following, I want Hal to walk the righty and leave this pitcher in. I still can't fathom a reason for clicking on "IBB less."

And on the hitter list of options, I want one that uses the Tweener quote, "never pulled him, never will."

But mainly, I just don't trust the logic Hal uses. I recently played a game between my Warpig team and my team from the I-75 league. I created CMs for both, then I selected the SP and the lineups, but I let Hal manage the game.

In the 4th inning of one game, Hal removed Felix Hernandez (slow hook was checked). Felix is basically the only good player on that team and wasn't in any kind of major trouble in the game. Hal replaced him with Dave Pauley, a right-handed 9L pitcher with the option AVOID RIGHTIES clicked. The batter he was brought in to face? Hanley Ramirez.

In another game, in the 6th inning, Hal brought Chris Denorfia in to pinch run at first for Alberto Callaspo in a tie game. Now, Denorfia is a *, and Callaspo is not... but the hold made Denorfia a 1-12 stealer (which Hal didn't even attempt). And to make matters worse, with Sean Rodriguez already used, Callaspo had no replacement at 3b. Even weirder, Hal didn't leave Denorfia in to play 3rd, he brought in Mike Carp. It made no sense.

These are a few of the reasons why I hate playing CM games.

Buckeyes 7, SuperGoofs 3

Buckeyes go 7-3 versus Goofs. Buckeyes win all 5 at home, while going 2-3 at Goofs.

at Buckeyes

April 14 - Buckeyes 6 Goofs 2 Heisey with a 3 run homer. Humber gets the win and R. Ramirez picks up the save

April 15 - Buckeyes 7 Goofs 2 Y Escobar's 3 run double breaks it open. Hamels goes 8 2/3 for the win

July 10 - Buckeyes 9 Goofs 7 Pence, Pena, Chipper, and Big Papi all homer

July 11 - Buckeyes 14 Goofs 6 Buckeyes hit 4 more HR's (Pence, Ramos, Rodriquez, and Big Papi as Dickey goes 8 2/3 for the win

July 12 - Buckeyes 6 Goofs 5 - Posada hits the game winning pinch hit homer in 9th to off Adams for the win. Buckeyes called the shot right before it happened leaving the Goofs manager in disbelief

at Goofs

May 27 - Goofs 3 Buckeyes 2 - Goofs win on a game winning 2B by J Jaso

May 28 - Buckeyes 6 Goofs 3 - Dickey gets the win as the Buckeyes play little ball with 12 hits (10 singles and 2 doubles). How we miss our new park.

Aug 23 - Buckeyes 9 Goofs 2 - Carpenter goes all the way to get the CG win. More little ball as Buckeyes collect 11 hits (7 singles, 2 doubles) along with 6 walks

Aug 24 - Goofs 2 Buckeyes 1 - C Lewsi throws CG 4 hitter

Aug 25 - Goofs 6 Buckeyes 5 - A Ramirez triple breaks 5 all tie to win it for Goofs

Mavs 3, Warpigs 2

C&D games.

Gm 1 - Mavs win 7-6 in 10 innings. Warpig Freddy Freeman hit two homers and drove in 5, but a solo shot by Casey Kotchman in the top of the 10th won the game.

Gm 2 - Mavs win 13-4. The Mavs scored early and often against the woeful Warpig pitching. The Mavs had 17 hits (oddly, none were homers). Hanley Ramirez homered twice for the Pigs.

Gm 3 - Mavs win 14-8. The two teams combined for TWELVE home runs - six by each team. Chris Young had two for the Mavs, including a 2nd inning grand slam.

Gm 4 - Warpigs win 9-2. This time the Warpigs score without the help of a homer. Jordan Zimmermann went 8 innings for the win. Brett Lawrie had a pinch hit, 3-run double.

Gm 5 - Warpigs win 3-1. Lawrie again came through in a pinch-hitting role, this time hitting a 3-run homer in the 8th inning of a scoreless game. Blake Beavan went 6 innings of 3-hit shutout ball, but wasn't around to get the win.

The road team won all 5 games. In the two games at Mavs Park, the Mavs were successful on a HR 1-3, flyout 4-20 roll THREE times. Those were the only three runs they scored in those two games.

Season Records

Here are the single season team records. These are located in the Archives section of the website, but I thought I'd put it on here to remind the Rhinos of some target numbers. I'll post the individual records later.

Hitting
Batting Average - Warpigs, 1988  .317
Runs Scored - Warpigs, 1988   1322
Base Hits - Warpigs, 1988   1984
Home Runs - Warpigs, 1988   411
RBI - Warpigs, 1988   1293
Stolen Bases - Buckeyes, 1988   307
Doubles - Wahoos, 2009   401
Triples - Drillers, 1999   77
Walks - Buckeyes, 2001   809
HBP - Sidewinders, 2004   119
Strikeouts (fewest) - Cletes, 1993   681
Errors (fewest) - Drillers, 2010   49

Pitching
ERA - Warpigs, 2002   2.78
Runs Allowed (fewest) - Warpigs, 2002   515
Hit Allowed (fewest) - Warpigs, 2002   1139
Home Runs Allowed (fewest) - Cletes, 1993   96
Strikeouts - Sidewinders, 1998   1507
Saves - Drillers, 2001   67
Walks (fewest) - Warpigs, 2002   414
Complete Games - Sidewinders, 2002   69
Shutouts - Warpigs, 2002 & DVs, 2005   19

Most Wins - Warpigs, 2009   126

There have been 43 seasons of 100+ wins in NASOMA.
Warpigs (16 times)
Drillers (7)
Buckeyes (6)
Zaps (5)
Sidewinders (4)
FFTs (3)
DVs (1)
Killer Bees (1)

A word of warning... Of those team batting records listed above, the ONLY one that coincided with a NASOMA championship was the Cletes of 1993, and that title was severely tainted. On the other hand, the only times a team set a pitching record but DIDN'T win a title was the Snakes in 2002 with the CG record and the DVs, who tied the shutout record in 2005.

Chicks may dig the long ball, but pitching wins titles.

Draft Results

You can find the Draft Results on the main page of our website. The draft grid we used during the draft is still posted, as is a cleaned-up version. I wasn't timing it, but I believe the rules meeting took 4 and a half hours. The draft took 17 hours.

The lightning round was apparently a test to see who could name the most players already off the board.

Here are some tidbits from the draft...

There were 168 carded players chosen in the regular phase of the draft (87 hitters, 81 pitchers).

There were 16 uncarded players taken (11 hitters, 5 pitchers).

There were 2 passes (Mavs and Bees).

The first player taken was Doug Fister by the Nads.

The last player taken was #186 Tony Cruz by the Wahoos.

 

 

In the lightning round, 8 teams took part.

There were 58 players selected (35 hitters, 23 pitchers).

There were 4 passes (Tweeners, Snakes, Wahoos, Rhinos).

The first player taken was #187 Jose Molina by the Drillers.

The last player taken was #248 John Lackey by the Warpigs.

There were 7 players from the lightning round who made their clubs, including...

2 by the Drillers, 2 by the Wahoos and 1 each by the Rhinos, DVs, and FFTs.

The latest a player was drafted who made a team was Frank Francisco, who was taken at #245 and made the Driller roster.

The Wahoos kept their last pick, Eduardo Nunez at #216, and now Nunez will be active for every game this year since he is the team's ONLY backup at 2b AND ss.

 

 

Altogether...

242 players were drafted: 226 carded players (122 hitters, 104 pitchers) and 16 uncarded players (11 hitters, 5 pitchers).

By team, here are the number of players drafted (carded, uncarded):

 

 

Warpigs 27 (24, 3)

DVs 23 (23, 0)

Drillers 22 (22, 0)

Wahoos 18 (16, 2)

FFTs 16 (15, 1)

Nads 16 (16, 0)

Sidewinders 15 (13, 2)

Rhinos 14 (12, 2)

Tweeners 14 (13, 1)

Inmates 13 (13, 0)

Zaps 12 (10, 2)

Goofs 12 (11, 1)

Mavs 11 (10, 1)

Fungoes 11 (10, 1)

Bees 9 (9, 0)

Buckeyes 9 (9, 0)

 

 

As always, there were several players protected going into the draft who were later cut. I didn't feel like figuring out how many.

As far as I can tell, the earliest a guy was drafted and then later cut was #93 Alex Liddi by the DVs (who KEPT pick #199 Lahair). The DV magnate noted that he wanted to "get Liddi off the board early to ensure the Rhinos one less bat to crush the DVs overrated bullpen.”

Playing Through Stiffness

Ryan Braun - OF, MIL Mar 20 12:56 PM
Braun, who was scratched from the lineup Tuesday with groin tightness, has been playing through stiffness for several weeks and will not play until at least Friday, Adam McCalvy of MLB.com reports. 


I don't know about Braun, but if stiffness in the groin were enough to keep a guy from playing baseball, I would have never even suited up in high school.

Revised Mock Draft

Now that the teams are set and the draft is a few days away, here's the latest mocking...

1. Nads - Doug Fister. Hard to screw this up, really. Darvish is not even an option, since the Nads have no reserve picks. This selection has to be announced as a "Fister to the Nads!" Ouch.

2. Fungoes - Eric Hosmer. The Fungoes traded up, and the immediate thought was Darvish. But the Fungi were secretly trying to steal Fister. Hosmer is not only a good second choice, it may be a better one.

3. Warpigs - Yu Darvish. Haha! Yes! I thought for sure he'd go 1 or 2.

4. Goofs - Melky Cabrera. A team in need of outfielders finds the best 500+ AB outfielder in the draft waiting for him. Of course, he'd still have been waiting for him in the second round.

5. Sidewinders - Brett Lawrie. The Snakeman THOUGHT he already had Lawrie, but it turns out it was Jed Lowrie. Different guy. Said the Snakeman, "It's a good thing I gave up abstaining from alcohol for Lent."

6. Tweeners - Allen Craig. Or is it Craig Allen? Either way, he's just what the doctor ordered to vault the Tweeners to the top of his division.

7. Inmates - Brandon Beachy. While the HEAD INMATE pats himself on the back for trading back 5 spots and still getting the guy he wanted, the game on tv is interrupted with the tragic news of Beachy drowning in his own urine sample.

8. DVs - Yonder Alonso. From the DV man himself, "Our goal is just to beat the Fungoes for the division. Then be one of the teams that loses to the Rhinos in the playoffs." Asked about the challenge from the Drillers, the DV dude said, "The Drillers?!? Are they still in the league?!?"

9. Mavs - Jason Kipnis. Because the MavGirl likes the sound of his name.

10. Killer Bees - Jemile Weeks. Weeks will team with his brother at 2b for the Bees. When asked about this pick, the Beeboy pulled his hands out of his pants just long enough to explain, "I just like the idea of putting R.Weeks and J.Weeks on the scorecard. You know? The letter in front of their name? That's so fucking COOL!!! I've ALWAYS wanted to do that!"

11. Tweeners - Cory Luebke. The Tweeners pick again? Is that right? That can't be right.

12. Killer Bees - Gerardo Parra. So Beeboy, how do you think your division will pan out? "Obviously, the Bees will win it. Easily. After that, who gives a fuck? My brother's team sucks. Hell, my BROTHER sucks. The Tweeners always THINK they're going to be good, but they suck. Who's the other team in my division?"

13. Rhinos - By a vote of 14-2, a rule was passed that restricted the Rhinos from using any picks in this year's draft. The only dissenting votes were from the Rhinos themselves and the Mavs, who abstained.

14. Sidewinders - Kenley Jansen. Or Casey Janssen. "Gawdammit all these names are so confusing! Can't I just have them both? Then I KNOW I got the good one. BEER ME!"

15. Buckeyes - Brandon McCarthy. The Buckeyes have already mathematically clinched his division.

16. Zaps - Greg Holland. You know there's something wrong with the SOM Computer game when Hal's recommended pick here is Don Kelly.

Trades

Inmates trade pick 2 to the Fungoes for pick 7 and 2013 3rd.

Warpigs trade Austin Jackson to FFTs for Cameron Maybin.

Please record all of your trades on the Rosters page and the Trades page. And if they involve draft picks, please edit the Draft Grid as well.