Trade

The Mavs trade John Maine to the Sidewinders for Chris B. Young (Ariz/CF).

The FFTS try to make a trade...

The following is excerpted from a series of emails. I hope you enjoy it.

HEAD INMATE: Inmates trade Bay, Giles, and the Inmate 2008 6th rounder to the FFTs for the 2008 FFt 3rd rounder, the DVs 2008 3rd rounder, and the Pigs 2008 3rd rounder.

Pigman: the ffts do not own two of those picks. the dv 3rd belongs to the dvs. and the fft 3rd belongs to the wahoos.

FFTs: Was accurate, sorry to be the party pooper.
Me and the Mates made a biggie tonight.
My third, your third, DV's third to the Inmates for J. Bay, B. Giles and the
inmates 6th.
At least you know why I was hunting what draft picks I owned at the time.
then dummy here read all the trades I made and I had the DV's 4th and he had
his 3rd back.
so, here is the amended trade with the Inmates due to my stupidity.
Terry's 3rd, Rick's third, and the worst 2nd round pick of the DV's and Pigs to Inmates
for J. Bay, B. Giles, and Inmates 6th.

I told the Pigs, My bad, his gain.

Thank goodness we have someone who is on top of things, that being the
WarPigs.

Pigman: okay, but terry's third belongs to the wahoos.

FFTs: Well, Shit.
Dear Inmates, according to the chart, you are now the proud owner of
the
Pigs 2nd and 3rd, and the DV's 3rd.
Hell, if I misread much more, you be in the first round.
and if you feel real bad for me, let me have your 5th instead of the
6th.
or maybe an 8th with the 6th, or hell, whatever.
Steve, at least now you know why the hell I was asking for a chart from Rick.
rest of you, once the Inmates confirm,
I will try and get a valid trade in print to you.
Crap, I hate getting old.

Pigman:
i hate like hell to have to point this out, but you
don't own the dv third either.

here's what you (the ffts) own in the first four
rounds prior to this trade with the inmates:
1st round: FFT1
2nd round: FFT2, WRP2, DV2
3rd round: WRP3
4th round: FFT4, DV4

i'm attaching the grid again.

FFTs: I say screw it, it is obvious I am not ever going to get this straight.

Pigman: since you had agreed to sending him three third round picks, maybe you can change it to a 2nd, a 3rd, and a 4th. he might see that as a fair alternative.

FFTs: Problem is that I was looking at the damn chart and knew I didn't have the
DV 3rd, so instead of typing warpig, typed DV.
I don't even know why I try.

here, post this,
FFT's give up WP #2, DV #2, WP #2 to Inmates
for
Jason Bay, Brian Giles, and Inmates #6.

I think I got it correct this time.

hell, it don't matter which picks, cause I told Steve I was willing to pay for Bay and Giles. but that I wanted to keep my own picks so I could keep things straight, did a fine job of that I reckon.

If the above is still not something I own, just shoot my ass.

NOW, YOU MAY NOTICE HERE THAT THE DEAL STILL ISN'T CORRECT, AS IT LISTS THE WARPIG 2ND ROUNDER TWICE. I HATED TO POINT IT OUT AT THE TIME SINCE I KNEW WHAT HE MEANT. PLUS, I DIDN'T WANT TO SHOOT HIS ASS. HE GOT IT RIGHT IN THE NEXT EMAIL.

FFTs: Found the Inmates,
and told him what I had sent you.
he gives Bay, B. Giles, and his 6th
and
I'll give the actual draft choices I own, assuming I can type them in
correctly
but I hope I have your 2 and 3, and the DV's 2 and that will be that.

As I told Steve, teach me to make a deal at 11 PM at night while
watching
Steven Segal movie on cable.
LOL.

FFTs: At least the Inmates got a good laugh.
even said maybe we just ought to start from scratch,
and he might end up with your and Bryan's #1 picks that I don't have.
haha

Trade

Finally, after several unsuccessful attempts to trade picks he did not own, the FFTs have traded the DV 2nd, the Warpig 2nd, and the Warpig 3rd to the Inmates for Jason Bay, Brian Giles, and the Inmate 6th.

Preliminary Draft Grid for 2008

TEAM TAXI SPOTS RD 1 RD2 RD3 RD4 RD5 RD6 RD7 RD8 RD9 RD10 Buckeyes 0 GPB WAH GPB GPB GPB WAH GPB GPB GPB GPB Mavs 2 MAV MAV MAV MAV MAV MAV MAV INM MAV MAV Inmates 2 INM INM INM INM INM INM INM INM INM INM Nads 2 NAD NAD NAD NAD NAD NAD NAD NAD NAD NAD Warpigs 2 RHI FFT FFT WRP WRP WRP ZAP WRP WRP WRP Wahoos 2 WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH FFT WAH WAH WAH Oilers 2 OIL OIL OIL OIL OIL OIL OIL OIL OIL OIL Rhinos 3 RHI RHI RHI RHI RHI RHI RHI RHI RHI FUN Fungoes 2 RHI RHI RHI RHI FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FFTs 4 FFT FFT WAH FFT FFT FFT FFT FFT FFT FFT DVs 1 ZAP FFT DVS FFT WAH DVS DVS DVS DVS DVS Drillers 2 OUD OUD OUD OUD OUD OUD OUD OUD OUD OUD Sidewinders 2 BEE SSW SSW SSW SSW SSW SSW SSW SSW SSW Zaps 2 ZAP ZAP ZAP ZAP FFT ZAP ZAP WRP ZAP ZAP Killer Bees 2 BEE BEE BEE BEE BEE BEE BEE BEE BEE BEE Tweeners 2 LCT WAH LCT LCT LCT LCT LCT LCT LCT LCT

Trade

The Mavs trade their 8th round pick in 2008 to the Inmates for Aubrey Huff.

Verities and Balderdash

During the Cub game today on TV, the celebrity to throw out the first pitch and sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" was comedian Dennis Miller. They had him in the booth for the bottom of the 7th and part of the top of the 8th. And I swear, if I had to listen to him for any longer, I would have gouged my ears with an ice pick. He is so insufferable. I can't believe they put him on the Monday Night Football team for a year.

Diana was looking over my shoulder the other day while I was looking at a SOMBB box score and game summary from a game between the Warpigs and the FFTs. She wanted to know what it meant when it said, "RICK jumped on TERRY early."

I'm very sorry to hear about Dave losing his mother. I lost mine right after our draft in 1998, and it was a very difficult time. Our thoughts here at Big Innings are with you, Nadman.

It might be too early, but someone let me know when we can laugh about Dave being "out of pocket." Has he been IN pocket this year? I am still awaiting a return phone call or return email from the number of times I have contacted him this year. His record on the Standings Update is still 0-0. And oh crap, NOW he's going to be hard to get hold of. Great.

The Mavman and the Zapper are BOTH undergoing hernia surgery. Can it be far behind for the Pigman? You guys get well soon.

Speaking of the Mavs, I don't know if you noticed, but on the Yahoo Tracker page, the Mavs have put both John Maine and Derek Jeter on the blocks. I can't imagine Jeter on another team. Well, I CAN, but it would be mine. LOL. In fact, Jeter was originally a Pig. Drafted by the Warpigs as an uncarded prospect in 1995, he spent a year on the old 2-man before being traded at the start of the 1996 season to the Mavs. The deal was Jeter, John Burkett, a 1st, 3rd, and reserve in the '97 draft and a 1st and reserve in the '98 draft for Eric Hanson and the rights to draft Hideo Nomo. Looks extremely lopsided now, but Nomo helped win the Pigs the '96 title by going 25-8, 2.26 and throwing a complete game in the clinching World Series game 6 victory over the Pastas... And even though that's pretty much all we got from Nomo, we'll take the trade off.

Any other players on the board? You can post them here if you want. The Oilers mentioned having excess at 2b and cf.

If the Warpig 2008 outlook doesn't improve soon, we'll put Manny Ramirez and Billy Wagner on the block. Inquire within.

There were a couple of statistical oddities a few nights ago. I believe the day was July 18. The Marlins used 6 pitchers to throw a shutout that night. As far as I can tell, that ties a NL record for most pitchers used in a shutout. The Kansas City A's used 7 pitchers in a shutout for the ML record. Also that night, Sammy Sosa left 10 men on base in the Ranger win. I don't know what the record is, but 10 is a lot.

That's all for now. More later.

Standings Update 7/21/07

B.U.D.	W	L	%	GB		Remaining Games	Last Update
Warpigs	69	36	.657	--		57	7/21/07
Oilers	73	70	.510	15		19	7/20/07
Rhinos	42	55	.433	8		65	7/21/07
Wahoos	21	31	.404	6.5		110	7/16/07
M.F.D.	W	L	%	GB
Mavs	40	35	.533	--		87	7/2/07
Buckeyes	30	31	.492	3		101	7/7/07
Inmates	25	29	.463	4.5		108	7/13/07
Nads	0	0		2.5		162
A.W.D.	W	L	%	GB
Sidewinders	40	26	.606	--		96	7/2/07
Tweeners	34	32	.515	6		96	7/2/07
Zaps	20	35	.364	15		107	7/12/07
Killer Bees	16	39	.291	19		107	7/7/07
N.E.R.D.D.	W	L	%	GB
Fungoes	69	43	.616	--		50	7/8/07
DVs	40	25	.615	5.5		97	7/3/07
FFTs	63	69	.477	16		30	7/7/07
Drillers	23	28	.451	16		111	5/20/07

Waco Weirdness

The Warpigs traveled to Waco on Friday the 13th to roll ten with the Inmates. Here are some notes from the wacky day...

First of all, both teams walked 50 times! That's a lot. The Inmates turned 15 double plays, and the Pigs turned 11 of their own. Those numbers are also high. The Warpigs were saved by making only 5 errors, and went errorless in 8 of the games. Despite going 4-6, the Inmates outscored and outhit the Pigs; but only because of the 22-2 win they posted in game 5 of the series.

In that game...

• Clay Hensley went 7 innings in relief giving up 20 hits and 16 runs, all earned.
• The Warpigs had 6 hits in the game, but THREE were by Brian Schneider, by far the worst hitting card on the team. AND... they were all off Johan Santana, a lefty. As bad as Schneider's card is on the right side, it's even worse on the left.
• Omar Vizquel, a 1e4 at SS, played half the game as the DH. Stephen Drew started the game at SS, and Vizquel came in at DH to save at bats for Travis Hafner when the score got out of hand. He did, however, take the field at SS in the 9th inning.
  
• The Inmates had 22 runs and 25 hits in the game, but no homers. This was our 5th game, and the Inmates had zero homers through 5 games. In fact, there were only 4 Inmate homers in the entire 10 games - the first three were by Ryan Howard; the last one was by Orlando Hudson, but it was a walk-off homer in the 9th inning of game 8. The Pigs had as many homers in game 1 as the Inmates had in all ten and outhomered them 13-4 overall.

The craziness didn't end there. In one game, Francisco Liriano got a save without retiring a batter. In the 9th inning of the second game of a double header, he came in with 2 outs and a runner at first, with the Pigs leading 5-2. The first batter he faced singled. The next one doubled. The lead runner scored, but third base coach Mariano Goddam Duncan sent the trail runner (even though it wasn't even the tying run) and he was nailed at the plate. Game over.

The cuckoo clock did NOT go off at the time, but it should have.

Liriano was graciously awarded a save.

Despite facing a lefty starter in six of the ten games, Albert Pujols went 4/33 for the series. He drove in a mere 3 runs. Two came on a homer in game ONE; the other one came in the 22-2 game before he and several other starters were pulled. Pujols also made 2 of the 5 Pig errors in the series, and both came in the same inning of the same game.

His bad series was countered by Travis Hafner, however. Pronk had 6 homers (he outhomered the whole Inmate team!) and hit over .350. He even stole a base.

Brian Schneider (don't ask me how) went 7/19. He only had 4 hits ON THE YEAR coming into this series (72 games). And again, he faced mostly lefties against the Inmates.

Oh, and with all my ranting about my 2e5 at 2b getting the PC shaft, he made a TWO BASE ERROR with a runner at 2nd and two outs in the 14th inning to lose game 3. Ugh.

I will also add two examples of my own stupidity on this weird day in Waco.

1. In the 8th inning of the second game of the day, I led 7-5 when the Inmates doubled with a man on and one out. It was 1-10 to score the runner. I KNEW he was going to go - it made sense really because any manager in his right mind would cut the throw and hold the tying run at second. But I kept thinking, "If the next guy singles, I'll kick myself for not at least TRYING to get the out at home." So I threw. He was safe. The next guy hit a sac fly to tie the game. Luckily, the poor managing was redeemed when the Pigs won the game in 10 innings.
2. The other one was worse, and I couldn't even admit doing this at the time. In the 22-2 game, Ervin Santana had been blasted early, and then Hensley just tossed oil on the fire, so I decided to let him finish the game no matter how bad it got because (I thought) it was the first game of a doubleheader, and I wanted everyone to be fresh for game 2. Unfortunately, the doubleheader was THE NEXT DAY. And since Hensley went 7 innings, he was ineligible to throw IN EITHER GAME OF THE DH, leaving me with a 5 man bullpen for the twin bill. Again, we got lucky and swept the double header with both starters going deep into the games.

A lot of wacky weirdness on this day. Still... we won 6 of the games, Uncle Dan's barbecue was excellent, we got out of town before the storms hit, and we didn't face much traffic on the way back... all in all, a very good day.

The Warpigs are now 51-31. The Inmates are 25-29.

The X-chart on the computer game

Okay, so over the last few days I played a bunch of games, and something jumped out at me - really nothing new... the x-chart (or the random number generator) used by the computer game has problems. Case in point: Jamey Carroll, despite having two girlie names, is a pretty good defensive 2b this year. He's a 2e5. During the series with the Buckeyes, he allowed FIVE balls to get past him for singles and made TWO errors. That's in 10 games. There was also at least one time when he fielded the ball, but couldn't turn the double play. The same day, I traveled to the FFTs to play games on his computer. Carroll didn't make an error this time (my 1e4 at ss did though), but he allowed 4 more singles. And the FFT middle infielders (both 2's) also allowed multiple hits. In addition, the number of 2-base errors by infielders is still alarming.

I've claimed since the production of the first SOM computer game that there was something wrong with the fielding. It usually falls on deaf ears, which is why it will never be corrected.

Just wanted to vent a little. Now back to your regular programming.

Standings Update 7/8/07

B.U.D.	W	L	%	GB		Remaining Games	Last Update
Warpigs	39	21	.650	--		102	7/7/07
Oilers	64	52	.552	3		46	7/1/07
Rhinos	39	44	.470	8.5		79	5/20/07
Wahoos	19	28	.404	11		115	7/3/07
M.F.D.	W	L	%	GB
Mavs	40	35	.533	--		87	7/2/07
Buckeyes	30	31	.492	3		101	7/7/07
Inmates	21	23	.477	3.5		118	7/3/07
Nads	0	0		2.5		162
A.W.D.	W	L	%	GB
Sidewinders	40	26	.606	--		96	7/2/07
Tweeners	34	32	.515	6		96	7/2/07
Zaps	18	27	.400	12		117	7/7/07
Killer Bees	16	39	.291	19		107	7/7/07
N.E.R.D.D.	W	L	%	GB
Fungoes	69	43	.616	--		50	7/8/07
DVs	40	25	.615	5.5		97	7/3/07
FFTs	63	69	.477	16		30	7/7/07
Drillers	23	28	.451	16		111	5/20/07

All Stars 2007

Not many Pigs this year. No starters, but Albert, Manny, VMart, Lackey, K-Rod, and Billy Wags will be there. It's a down year for the Warpigs.

In the extra player balloting, I voted for Chris Young and Hidecki Okajima.

Crap that's on my mind...

I admit for the last few months I have been out of the loop with baseball and sports in general. I haven’t opened a sports page, listened to sports radio, watched Sportscenter or Baseball Tonight, or even checked the daily results online in months. I guess that needs some explanation. Why is it that I have, as the Wahoo says, starting hating sports? Let’s make a list…

The Dallas Mavericks let me down. Why is it that my favorite teams can’t JUST lose, they have to do it in embarrassing fashion? I told Chief Wahoo at the start of the playoffs that I thought there were only two teams in the NBA who could give the Mavs a hard time: the Suns and the Warriors. And this just a few months after the Cowboy season ended in similarly embarrassing fashion.

Barry Bonds is about to become the greatest home run hitter of all time, and I hate that. Is this really the guy we want as the face of baseball? A surly asshole who was never a huge home run hitter until he started using steroids? Whether you like it or not, he WILL break the record (unless something happens to him in the next few days – may I contribute to the bounty?), and that will be a sad day for baseball.

Mark McGwire is not in the Hall of Fame. Worse than that, apparently everybody related to baseball in any way agrees that he doesn’t belong in because of the steroid controversy. But the thing that pisses me off is, these same pundits say that Sammy is in with no debate. Frank Thomas too. And Barry on the first ballot. But not Mac. McGwire hit 583 home runs. He had an OBP of almost .400 for his career. He has the numbers and the awards; the only reason he doesn’t get HOF support is the steroids and his refusal to talk about them in front of Congress. And by the way, he was the ONLY one of the active players called before Congress who didn’t lie. He undoubtedly used some sort of supplement, but he never tested positive for steroids, and the stuff he used wasn’t even illegal. So why the double standard? For the same reason he lost the MVP in ’98: racial bias. Baseball bends over backwards to let the black and Latino groups know we support them, even if it means showing a prejudice against non-blacks and non-Latinos. There are huge, league-wide celebrations for Jackie Robinson and Roberto Clemente, but none for Mickey Mantle or Stan Musial.

Another thing that has me down on everything right now is my own idiotic incompetence. I have traded away a whole teamful of young current and future all stars (Utley, Holliday, Beckett, Harden, A.Gordon, B.Wood, King Felix, Haren, Morneau, O.Hudson, etc.) and all I have to show for it is a bunch of over the hill ex-studs (Manny, Vizquel), no draft picks, and no titles. In the past when I traded away the likes of Derek Jeter, at least I could rationalize it by winning Higdons. This team I have this year SHOULD have been one of my best ever, and it will very likely not even make the playoffs. It’s hard not to get discouraged. Next year will be even worse for the Pigs.

Then there is NASOMA. To be brutally honest, if the whole league was filled with owners like the Oilers, the FFTs, the Fungoes, the DVs, the Snakes, the Inmates, and the Wahoos… I’d have no problems with NASOMA. I’d even learn to be a better loser just because I would enjoy this league more. But, for whatever reason, NASOMA has turned into a ghost league. Teams go long stretches without playing games, phone calls are practically a thing of the past, and even returning emails has been neglected. We get together and have a fairly good time one weekend a year, then ignore each other the other 51 weeks. We never even talk trade anymore. And again, I’m not talking about everyone… but it’s half the league anyway. And I have been guilty this year, too. I haven’t played games at the rate I normally do, but I got tired of being the aggressor when it came to getting games played. I decided just to let them call or write me, even though I knew with a few teams that it would never happen. I sent out instructions to the Bees, Tweeners, Zaps, and Nads back in early May. The Zaps sent back instructions of his own, but the other three never even acknowledged they received them – let alone have played any of the games. I have sent out requests for updated records to the entire league several times this season, and I STILL have the Bees and Nads as being 0-0. Now, to be fair, the Beeboy has a new baby and I know from past experience that he will get his shit done eventually. I can’t say that about the Nads.

I vow to turn over a new leaf – starting today. I am going to start taking part in life again. I will try my best to win and not mope and cry when I don’t. I will cheer my guys’ successes, and I will suffer through their defeats. I will stop hating (with the possible exception of Bonds). I will stop rejoicing when I hear things like Andruw Jones is hitting .199 (heehee). I will play my games and try NOT to be the last guy some of you would want to have sitting across the table.

As far as NASOMA goes, I’m going to give and take some advice here: Either take part or get the hell out. Seriously, if you can’t have the decency to make time for this league and the other 15 men in it, retire. Get out. Say farewell and move on. And I don’t give a damn if that’s harsh. Hell, the owners this is aimed at will never read it. They don’t even know or care that there IS a Big Innings, which simply proves my point. You don’t have to make SOM a high priority in your life, but if you are going to stay in the league, take the time to care about it. Play your games. Send out instructions. And that is a MINIMUM of the effort required. Return phone calls. MAKE phone calls. Send e-mails. Make ridiculous trade proposals. Give a damn.

That is all.