Big Innings

Mavs and DVs Ring the Bell!

2012-01-27T22:00:00.001-06:00

The Mavs get their favorite player

The DVs are still tinkering to try and keep up with the Rhinos. This trade, though, is more than tinkering. This one is pretty major. The DVs send Elvis Andrus, Chris Narveson, and pick 75 to the Mavs for J.J. Hardy, Alexi Ogando, and Tom Gorzelanny.

Andrus is six years younger than Hardy, and he's a 1, but Hardy has a much better e-rating and is coming off a 30-homer year. The key for the DVs was getting Ogando for his rotation and the lefty Gorzelanny for his bullpen.

This will be an interesting season.

DVs and Goofs trade

2012-01-26T15:00:00.001-06:00

Clippard to the DVs

The DVs got the reliever they wanted. The SuperGoofs send Tyler Clippard to the DVs for Pedro Alvarez, Matt Joyce and pick 43.

Clippard's 88 innings will help round out the DV bullpen that already included Bard, Madson, and Storen. Joyce figures into the current Goof lineup, while Alvarez gives him a young kid at 3b who has yet to live up to the hype of two years ago.

Making a Mockery of the Draft

2012-01-21T12:48:00.001-06:00

This would be so much easier if all the best players hadn't already been taken before they got their first card, but it's time to stop beating that dead horse. Here we go...

1. Nads - Yu Darvish. Well, somebody had to. And even though you have to wait a year for him to get his first card, you do get to watch him. High risk, high reward.

2. Inmates - Doug Fister. While it would be funnier for a guy named Fister to be a Nad, I'm sure there'll be no shortage of Fister jokes after he joins the Waco gang. The Baptist Bowl Choralaires will sing songs devoted to their newest hero, idol, and icon. Well, until he blows his arm out in April.

3. Warpigs - Melky Cabrera. Oh what sad times are these when the third pick of the draft is Melky Effin Cabrera. Even sadder, it's a perfectly sane pick. The Pigs need outfielders, and Cabrera has BY FAR the most at bats of the available outfielders. Plus, he had over 200 hits for a .305 BA. He hit 18 homers. His defense is good, and he can play all three fields. And finally, although it seems like he's been around forever, he's only 26.

4. SuperGoofs - Matt Harrison. A bit of a reach here, but he has several things going for him. He's a Ranger. He's young. He's a lefty starter who had a great year. Sounds like a perfect fit to me. He'll team with fellow Ranger Colby Lewis on the SuperGoofs.

5. Sidewinders - Brett Lawrie. Young third baseman with Toronto. Supposedly good enough to force Jose Bautista off the hot corner and into RF permanently.

6. Tweeners - Cory Luebke. Lefty with 140 innings of top shelf relief. Year of the Tweeners.

7. Fungoes - Darwin Barney. The Fungoes get their shortstop. Barney, 25, plays more 2b, but he's still better defensively at short than any of the available guys with a full season of at bats. And he's younger and hits better. A natural fit. He can play ss at least until next year when he replaces O-Dog at 2b.

8. DVs - Eric Hosmer. Faced with the moment of truth, do the DVs take the reliever they so desperately need? Or do they take the young Royal first sacker they've lusted over? They take Hosmer. Who knew he would last this long? And thus endeth the DV draft plan and hopes of a championship season.

9. Mavs - Yonder Alonso. Moving to Petco Park won't help him any, but getting a full season of at bats will. And Alonso's bat is the real deal.

10. Killer Bees - Gerardo Parra. A 1 in LF who hit .292 with a .357 onbase. What's not to like?

11. Tweeners - Alfredo Aceves. Righty with 114 innings of top shelf relief. Year of the Tweeners.

12. Wahoos - Allen Craig. Powerful young hitter who plays everything except SS and C.

13. Rhinos - Josh Tomlin. The rich get richer.

14. Sidewinders - Jemile Weeks. The Snakes continue to add young offense to go with their outstanding pitching staff.

15. Buckeyes - Alejandro De Aza - Centerfield. Solved.

16. Zaps - Lonnie Chisenhall. When Bautista moves to RF, Chisenhall will be ready.

Hot Stove Rankings

2012-01-20T14:35:00.000-06:00

As we move toward (hopefully) new division alignments (the BI poll shows we favor new alignments by a 2-1 margin), here is a winter version of the team rankings for 2012. No harm intended. If I don't have you ranked as high as you think you'll finish, feel free to prove me wrong. On the other hand, if I have ranked you too high... umm, feel free to prove me wrong. :o)

16. Nads - The Nads pick first in this year's draft, and they'll pick first again next year. Said the manager of the wrinkled pink, "It's no secret that we've figured out the way to get that first pick. Frankly, I'm surprised no one else has figured it out."

The Good: Adrian Gonzalez. Aybar is a 1 at short. C.J. Wilson is pretty good. In fact, compared to the rest of the staff, he's great!
The Bad: Well... everything else.
The Ugly: J.D. Drew is the best Nad outfielder, and he hit .222 in less than 250 at bats.

15. SuperGoofs - Injuries to top Goofs (Choo, Ike Davis, Broxton, Zito) reverberated throughout the Goof Nation, but down years by others (Huff, Quentin, Blake, Pineiro) didn't help either.

The Good: Tyler Clippard and Mike Adams are excellent relievers. Brandon Phillips had a great year. His card might be the best 2b card in the league.
The Bad: LF, CF, and 3b are huge holes to fill.
The Ugly: Colby Lewis is the best Goof SP, and he had a 4.40 ERA and allowed 35 homers.

14. Inmates - The Year of the Inmate once again will lead to an early pick, which he will use to ruin some poor soul's career. (Incidentally, there is no truth to the rumor that the Inmates drafted Greg Halman last year.)

The Good: Carlos Gonzalez and Adrian Beltre.
The Bad: The rest of the offense.
The Ugly: The pitching.

13. Sidewinders - A perennial power, the Snakeman also knows when it's time to ~~take a dive~~ rebuild.

The Good: The Snakes have some great SP (Lincecum, Lester, Pineda, Ubaldo, Danks) and even better bullpen (Sale, Feliz, Kimbrel, Marmol).
The Bad: The offense would be bad anyway, but injuries to Mauer and Wright doomed this team to ~~tanking~~ rebuilding this season.
The Ugly: The outfield of Domonic Brown in RF, Stubbs/Rasmus in CF, and No One in LF is still better than the proposed infield, which features a double play combo of Gordon Beckham and Jed Lowrie.

12. Warpigs - Another perennial power looking at a long season. Almost every player from last year's team has been jettisoned, including Albert Pujols: "The Greatest Right-handed Hitter in the History of Baseball". The Pigs made several huge deals, including both acquiring Robinson Cano (for Cliff Lee and Carlos Santana) and then flipping him to the Rhinos (for two young corner infielders and all of the Rhino draft picks). Did the same thing then with Jered Weaver, getting him in the Pujols deal, then flipping him to the DVs for a couple of young starters.

The Good: Lots of young players and two SP (Strasburg and Wainwright) coming off of injuries.
The Bad: No one to play RF and nothing at DH.
The Ugly: Turns out having no one is better than having Delmon Young in LF... which is better than what's going to be coming out of the pen.

11. Mavs - Finishing .500 every year has led the Mav owner to consider changing the team name to the Tweeners.

The Good: Justin Upton is a stud. Hardy had a career year. Cain, Gallardo, and Ogando make a nice top 3 in the rotation.
The Bad: The bullpen is a mess.
The Ugly: Down sophomore year from Heyward; DeJesus is finished; Travis Snider has yet to get started.

10. FFTs - A team of "haves" and "have nots". The offense will have MVP type production from the 3-4 spots, but not much around them.

The Good: Albert Pujols: "The Greatest Right-handed Hitter in the History of Baseball" and Josh Hamilton are great. Michael Young and Carlos Ruiz are the next best hitters. The rotation of Kuroda, E.Santana, Anibal, Lilly, and Oswalt will keep them in games. And Mariano Rivera, in his "Age 58" season, is still a quality closer.
The Bad: The infield, other than 1b, will be made up of Prado, Carroll, Young, and Desmond.
The Ugly: Where have you gone, Ichiro Suzuki? BA plummeting... OB only slightly higher than BA... and he's no longer a 1 in the outfield. The HOF beckons.

9. Wahoos - Last year's disappointing finish to the season is still hovering about the Reservation. But as long as the nucleus of this team (Pedroia, Youkilis, Rollins) is around, they'll at least win as many as they lose. Just not enough to finish in the top half of the league.

The Good: Youkilis, Hafner, Pedroia, and new addition Swisher will take a lot of walks. Tough call as to the best 2b card - is it Brandon Phillips or Dustin Pedroia? Masterson and Jurrjens are a good 1-2 punch in the rotation.
The Bad: The rest of the pitching staff is not as good.
The Ugly: The Wahoos, along with walking a lot, will also strike out a lot. A lot. Their games will take 5 hours to complete. Better not cut off alcohol sales too early. It could REALLY get ugly out there.

8. Buckeyes - Ahh, the Buckeyes. The good old Buckeyes. You know in ANY divisional alignment he will still come out on top and make the playoffs. Imagine how well he'd do if he had good players!

The Good: He is the best manager in the league. He plays in a great park and he knows how to exploit it. Also, Carpenter and Hamels are an excellent 1-2.
The Bad: The rest of the pitching staff is thin, but this can be remedied in the draft.
The Ugly: Other than Bonafacio and Yunel Escobar, the lineup is so bad Ryan Sweeney is first on the depth charts in CF.

7. Fungoes - He just keeps having good drafts. That pitching staff and the emergence of Napoli make this a team to reckon with.

The Good: You could start with Napoli, but really, the strength of this team is Kershaw and Price and the rotation. Then there's Robertson and the bullpen. Other standouts on offense are Zimmerman at 3b, Gardner and Cruz in the OF, and Wieters behind the plate.
The Bad: CF is not as strong as he'd like. Berkman is getting old. The rotation, as good as it is, is very left-handed.
The Ugly: "And starting at shortstop for the Fungoes..."

6. Killer Bees - The Bees have the self-proclaimed best pitching staff in the league. And they'll need to be great, because this team has major lineup holes to fill. The bad news is there isn't a whole lotta help in the draft for a team needing offense.

The Good: The pitching staff really is phenomenal. The rotation is Verlander, Cliff Lee, Kennedy, and Cueto. The list of bullpen candidates goes on and on. And RF (Beltran, Ethier, Francoeur) and 1b (Fielder, Teixeira) are solid and deep. Carlos Santana's card vs LHP.
The Bad: Carlos Santana's card vs RHP.
The Ugly: Where to start... The Bees have no one to play LF. Or CF. Or 3B. Rickie Weeks, the starting 2b, is a 4. Starlin Castro, the starting ss, is a 3e30. Holy crap! Oh, and then there are the two words that define ugly: Adam Dunn.

5. Zaps - I know, I know... he's won the league two years in a row and would like nothing better than to three-peat, but it's not going to happen. The unexpected dropoffs from Utley, Crawford, Scherzer, and Greinke are big factors, but the injury to Josh Johnson is the real culprit.

The Good: Bautista, Miggy, McCutchen, Reyes... it just doesn't get any better.
The Bad: Add catcher to the Zap needs. But mostly he needs a return to form from Utley and Crawford.
The Ugly: Logan Morrison. Jeez, not only did he drop to a .247 BA, but he's a FIVE! Everywhere!

4. Drillers - For all the whining the Drillers do about how much more valuable hitters are than pitchers, he sure does have a good staff. And this, AFTER trading away Pineda and Lincecum. His recent acquisition of Yadier Molina to pair with Buster Posey gives DD just enough catcher ABs to run out with 14 games to play. Again.

The Good: Haren, Shields, Romero, and Vazquez will make the Driller faithful forget Lincecum ("The Most Overrated Pitcher in Baseball" - DD) and Pineda ("Hated to lose him.") The offense will feature Konerko, Longoria, Bruce, and most importantly, the return of Jacoby Ellsbury. An underrated Neil Walker will team with the underrated Asdrubal Cabrera up the middle. Put their stats up beside each other and compare them. It's eerie.
The Bad: It's not terrible, but Konerko is listed as the starting 1b AND the starting DH. I assume there will be others to be had during the draft. Or maybe the Driller Dude will play Posey at 1b/DH, thereby running out of catcher ABs even earlier.
The Ugly: The bullpen is a bearded mess. It's going to be painful for DD to use draft picks on lowly, stinking pitchers, but that's what he'll have to do.

3. Tweeners - Could this finally be the Year of the Tweener? A combination of good drafting, a few good trades, and the right guys having good years at the right time have put the Tweeners in a position to make plans for a post season flight to Texas.

The Good: The rotation is Felix, DHudson, Gio, Madbum, and Nova. The bullpen is not a big name group, but is deep and effective. The offense will include VMart, Morse, Sandoval, Zobrist, and Victorino. There are 1's in CF and 2b.
The Bad: VMart's knee injury won't affect this year's Tweeners, but it puts a dent in future plans.
The Ugly: Mark Reynolds hit .221 with 196 strikeouts. And he's a 5e39 at 3b. Luckily, he won't be needed as Pablo Sandoval shed a few pounds and lifted his game.

2. DVs - "We're going for it, man! I BELIEVE!!!!!" These words are said in January of every year by the DVs, who end up flickin' the bean in November. Ah, but hope springs eternal. The really best news for the DVs is the other two teams listed in this top 3 have also never won a Higdon. Said the DV manager, "Why shouldn't I be confident?!? It's just the Rhinos and the Tweeners! How the hell could I lose to THEM?!?"

The Good: Halladay and Weaver lead the staff. And as we've discussed in another post, they are easily the best 1-2 punch in the league. "The Beeboy thinks his guys are good, but he chokes his little stinger off thinking of Halladay and Weaver." Then there's the lineup: Holliday, Granderson, Stanton (a former cut of the Drillers), Helton, McCann, Kinsler, Aramis Ramirez... Pretty stout. And having Jesus Montero sitting on the bench will scare off a lefty reliever or two.
The Bad: The bullpen is average, with no lefty help. Andrus is a 1 at short, but he's an e29. That's bad. And there's still no DH. The rotation, after the big 2 and Latos, is lacking.
The Ugly: There really is no ugly. He even has a nice list of draft picks. The ugly will come in November.

1. Rhinos - The Rhinos have reached the peak of their 20-year plan. In the past, they would draft a bunch of young, stud hitters - only to ignore pitching and miss the playoffs. And he has always had trouble letting go of guys near and dear to his heart. But now... finally... he's ready. He traded away Hanley. Okay, forget that. The two pitchers he got in the deal immediately went into a freefall of monumental proportions. He traded away two prospects and all his picks to get Cano. He traded away Yadier to get back into the draft. And just the other day, in a move that signals a significant change in philosophy for the Rhinos, he traded for a 37-year old relief pitcher. The times, they are a-changin'.

The Good: Well crap, look at the lineup: Avila, Votto, Cano, Tulowitzki, ARod/Polanco, Alex Gordon, Kemp, Markakis, and Braun at DH. There will be 1's at every spot except catcher and LF - and LF is a gold glove winner, 2(-3)e3. There are no holes in that lineup. The rotation is Sabathia, Beckett, Tim Hudson, and Garza. The bullpen includes Venters, Marshall, Axford, Nunez, Soria, and the recently acquired Dotel.
The Bad: Nothing to look at here. Except this. Last June, the Rhinos were offered any SP and any RP on the Warpigs for Hanley Ramirez. The injury Ramirez suffered soon after the trade would seem like typical Rhino good luck, except for what happened to the two pitchers he chose in the deal. Now, he COULD have had Cliff Lee and Heath Bell, but he chose Trevor Cahill and the pitcher formerly known as Leo Nunez.
The Ugly: Cahill pre-All Star game, 3.12 ERA. Cahill post-All Star game, 5.80 ERA. Juan Carlos Oviedo (the former Nunez) pre-All Star game, 3.51 ERA. Oviedo post-All Star game, 5.01 ERA (including 11.42 in August).

So there you have it. New names at the top. Former champions Zaps, Drillers, Bees, Fungoes, and Buckeyes have to be licking their chops at taking on this fresh meat. Even the Snakes, after looking at the favored teams, may reconsider his decision to ~~tank it~~ rebuild this year.

Coming soon... A mock draft of the first round.

Woohoo! Where are the cards???

Dotel to the Rhinos

2012-01-18T22:28:00.001-06:00

Yea! I'm not an Inmate!

The Inmates traded Octavio Dotel to the Rhinos for a 4th round pick in 2013.

The right side of Dotel's card will be pretty impressive. It will have 1 point of hits, 4 points of walks, and 54 points of strikeout. The left side won't be terrible, but he'll shut down righties.

Wainwright to the Pigs

2012-01-18T11:35:00.000-06:00

Yea! I'm a Pig!!!

The Tweeners traded Adam Wainwright, pick 86, and a reserve to the Warpigs for the 11th pick in this year's draft.

Wainwright missed all of last season with Tommy John surgery.

DVs pick up lefty reliever

2012-01-16T22:25:00.001-06:00

Geez, I suck.

The Warpigs traded Matt Thornton to the DVs for pick 107.

Thornton threw 60 innings last year with a 3.32 ERA while holding opponents to a .255 batting average.

Ratings Disk

2012-01-13T10:04:00.000-06:00

The 2011 Ratings Disk was made available this morning. The ballpark numbers are included. It's around $15 and you can order it here: http://www.strat-o-matic.com/products/other-items/books

Enjoy

The announcement we've been waiting for...

2012-01-06T11:34:00.001-06:00

First day of Pre-Orders: Wednesday, January 18th
Opening Day at Strat: Friday, February 10th

DVs Make a Move

2012-01-04T17:34:00.003-06:00

Halladay and Weaver

The DVs made a huge step toward making 2012 the Year of the DVs! The DVs acquired ace Jered Weaver from the Warpigs, along with draft picks 8, 24, and 30. In exchange, the DVs sent 5 players and a pick to the Pigs, with a sixth player to eventually join the mix. The players were Dustin Ackley, Jeremy Hellickson, Jordan Zimmermann, John Lackey, and Brian Matusz. The pick the Pigs received is pick 11. The player to be named later is rumored to be Jesus Montero.

Jered Weaver will join Roy Halladay to give the DVs the best 1-2 punch in the league. Asked if this move sent a message to the Rhinos, Bees, and Tweeners, the DV skipper replied, "It's more than a message. It's a guarantee. 2012 is the Year of the DVs!"

Tweeners and Inmates trade

2012-01-01T20:40:00.001-06:00

Wells swings and misses. Again.

The Tweeners traded Vernon Wells and pick 76 to the Inmates for a reserve pick.

Wells was somehow allowed to get over 500 at bats with the Angels last year despite an onbase average under .250. Not his batting average - his ON BASE. Or as The HEAD INMATE put it...

"This could be the deal that puts the Inmates into contention. And butterflies could squirt out of my ass when I stand up."

A Goofy/Pig Trade

2011-12-31T10:17:00.001-06:00

Soriano is a Goof

The Warpigs traded Rafael Soriano and Clayton Richard to the SuperGoofs for Chris Denorfia and Edinson Volquez.

Denorfia is a platoon outfielder who is a 2 in all three fields. Volquez was recently traded to the Padres, but his card from last year is not useable. Richard had 100 innings last year as a starter with the Padres, while Soriano will be able to get righties out.

The Drillers continue to find a home for their cuts

2011-12-28T20:47:00.001-06:00

This is why he is a DH.

The Drillers traded Jason Hammel and Vladimir to the Warpigs for pick 136.

Guerrero hit .290 last year but failed to ever go to a 3-ball count, let alone walk. He has no power or speed but makes up for it by not playing in the field. Hammel will provide 170 of the ugliest relief innings you've ever seen.

Drillers make two trades

2011-12-26T09:07:00.001-06:00

Jeter is the one on the right

The Drillers traded Derek Jeter to the Tweeners for Milwaukee closer Francisco Rodriguez. Then the Drillers sent Rajai Davis to the FFTs for pick 157.

Jeter hit .297 in almost 550 at bats last year. K-Rod had a 2.64 ERA in 71 innings. Davis... suited up.

Goofs and FFTs make a deal

2011-12-24T18:44:00.002-06:00

Marlon Byrd blows

The SuperGoofs traded pick 132 to the FFTs for Angel Pagan, Marlon Byrd, and pick 156.

Dickey on the move again

2011-12-24T07:04:00.001-06:00

R.A. Dickey is traded again

R.A. Dickey didn't stay an FFT for long. The FFTs moved Dickey and pick 77 to the Buckeyes for Martin Prado and Ted Lilly.

Lilly threw 192 innings last year with a 1.16 WHIP. Prado hit .260 in 551 at bats. He'll be a 3 at 1b, 3b, and LF.

FFTs and DVs trade

2011-12-23T16:04:00.001-06:00

Maybin will patrol cf for the FFTs

The DVs sent Francisco Liriano and Cameron Maybin to the FFTs for picks 45 and 93.

Maybin hit .264 in 516 at bats last year. He'll be a 1 in cf. Liriano has 134 innings of SP/RP, but they won't be good ones.

FFTs and Wahoos Trade

2011-12-22T22:25:00.001-06:00

Guthrie has 208 innings of relief

The Wahoos sent a lot of innings to the FFTs in order to improve their draft positioning.

The FFTs get Jeremy Guthrie, R.A. Dickey, and Kyle McClellan, along with picks 124 and 156. The Wahoos get pick 29 and a reserve.

Guthrie, who turns 33 in April, has 208 innings of start/relief and had a WHIP of 1.34. Dickey, at 37, also has 208 innings. He can't relieve, but his WHIP is much better, 1.23. McClellan, only 27, has 141 innings of start/relief with a 1.31 WHIP.

Trading Picks

2011-12-20T10:36:00.001-06:00

One good pick deserves another

The Rhinos traded pick 3 that they recently received from the Drillers to the Warpigs for picks 13 and 40.

But can he say "Yadier" like he says "Vladimir"?

2011-12-17T23:36:00.001-06:00

A Driller??? WTF!!!

The Drillers have their catcher. After panicking when he realized there are no catchers in next year's draft, the Driller Dude paid through the nose to get one. Yadier Molina will wear the Driller colors next year. In exchange, the Rhinos receive the third pick in the draft, two reserve spots, and A.J. Ellis (who will no doubt be the next All Star and Gold Glove catcher).

Swapping First Basemen

2011-12-15T09:12:00.002-06:00

He's smiling because he has clinched a division title for 2012.

The Buckeyes and Inmates traded first basemen. Carlos Pena heads to the Buckeyes while Gaby Sanchez is now an Inmate.

Pena, who will turn 34 early next season, hit 28 homers last year, and although his average was down, had a healthy .388 on base average vs rhp. The 28-year old Sanchez had almost identical stats to his rookie season, and should crush lhp. One other big difference is the defense. Pena will be a 1 next year; Sanchez, a 4.

Tweeners and Wahoos trade

2011-12-11T10:02:00.001-06:00

Darren Oliver

The Tweeners send Nick Swisher and Luke Gregerson to the Wahoos for pick 76 and the young left-handed relief specialist Darren Oliver.

Pujols Leaves the Pigs

2011-12-10T23:16:00.001-06:00

Pujols joins the FFTs

The Warpigs have dealt Albert Pujols, the greatest right handed hitter in the history of baseball, to the FFTs. In return, the Warpigs will receive Jered Weaver, Stephen Strasburg, pick 13 in next year's draft, and a reserve pick. As an insurance stipulation, if Strasburg fails to throw 100 innings in 2012, the FFTs will also send their 2013 third round pick to the Pigs.

The Snakes pull off two more deals

2011-12-05T23:07:00.001-06:00

Jair Jurrjens throws a fit after learning he's a Wahoo.

The Snakes are a-wheelin' and a-dealin', completing two more trades today.

The Buckeyes traded pick 108 to the Sidewinders for Freddy Sanchez and pick 133.

The Wahoos traded Carlos Marmol, Jed Lowrie, and two reserves to the Sidewinders for Jair Jurrjens.

Hours later, Jurrjens admitted himself into a home for damaged arms.

The Tweeners and Snakes do a deal

2011-12-02T18:30:00.001-06:00

Craig Kimbrel pitched well last year despite losing his right leg in a hunting accident.

After picking up Laynce Nix from the Buckeyes a few days earlier, the Tweeners decided to go for actual major league players this time.

The Tweeners traded Brandon Belt, Chris Sale, and Craig Kimbrel to the Sidewinders for Joel Hanrahan, Michael Morse, and a reserve pick.

The Buckeyes make two trades

2011-12-01T17:59:00.001-06:00

Bonafacio on that one play he made cleanly last year.

The Buckeyes traded Laynce Nix (including the pointless Y in his first name) to the Tweeners for pick 102.

The Buckeyes then traded a reserve pick and their 2013 1st round pick to the Wahoos for Wilson Ramos, Emilio Bonafacio, and pick 108.

Biggest Trade in NASOMA History

2011-11-27T10:37:00.001-06:00

The Warpigs traded Robinson Cano to the Rhinos in a deal that is not only the biggest deal in the history of the league, but should also result in 130 wins for the Rhinos.

The Warpigs traded Cano, Nick Markakis, Sean Marshall, and Joakim Soria to the Rhinos for Mike Moustakas, Freddie Freeman, two reserves, and ALL of the Rhino draft picks for 2012.

The Rhinos can now field a team of all 1's, most of whom received MVP votes last year.

Most Valuable Players

2011-11-25T09:24:00.001-06:00

The MVP voting was announced this week. The voters get to pick 10 players in each league with weighted scoring (14-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1). A total of 49 players received at least one vote, and every one of them is already on a NASOMA team. Below are the vote totals as they apply to each of our NASOMA teams. The first number is the number of players receiving votes; the second number is the total number of votes by those players.

1. Rhinos (9/959)
2. Killer Bees (7/546)
3. Zaps (3/455)
4. DVs (4/293)
5. Drillers (5/291)
6. Warpigs (2/278)
7. Mavs (1/214)
8. Fungoes (3/148)
9. Nads (2/107)
10. FFTs (3/98)
11. Inmate (2/48)
12. Wahoos (1/48)
13. Tweeners (5/40)
14. Buckeyes (1/10)
15. Sidewinders (1/5)
16. SuperGoofs (0/0)

I'm looking forward to a Rhino/Bee World Series next year.

Warpigs Announce Cuts/Retirements

2011-11-23T16:26:00.001-06:00

The Warpigs today released infielder Donnie Murphy, veteran outfielder Magglio Ordonez, and starting pitcher Ross Ohlendorf. In addition, the Pigs acknowledged the retirements of Manny Ramirez and Andy Pettitte.

Said Warpig GM Tex Schramm, "Murphy and Maggs are just guys with absolutely zero value. It has nothing to do with their complete inability to hit those two lefty Buckeye pitchers in the playoffs. Don't misunderstand me, I want to show these guys the respect they deserve. They just don't deserve any. This simply allows us to get rid of dead weight and remove the trash from the clubhouse. On the other hand, I actually like Ohlendorf, but hell, he can't pitch."

The Warpigs had traded for Manny Ramirez last summer in order to allow him to retire a Pig. Said Mr. Schramm, "We won a title with Manny here. Big deal. We coulda won that year with me dh'ing. Screw that long-haired piece of shit." There will be no retirement ceremonies to honor Manny, who was not allowed to come within 100 yards of the BallPork after the trade.

Nads Make Two Deals

2011-11-23T15:35:00.001-06:00

The Nads, while driving from Chicago to New York for Thanksgiving, pull off a double deal day. In the Danny Duo Deal, they sent Danny Espinosa to the Inmates for Danny Valencia. At the same time, the Nads were acquiring starting pitchers Jonathan Sanchez and James McDonald from the Warpigs for a reserve pick.

More Division Talk

2011-11-22T17:00:00.001-06:00

Or what about getting rid of the 4 divisions and making it 2.

The Ab Wheeler Division (Senior Circuit - made up of the 8 teams in NASOMA the longest)
Buckeyes
FFTs
Tweeners
Mavs
Inmates
Warpigs
Fungoes
Drillers

The Herman Wheeler Division (Junior Circuit)
Zaps
DVs
Wahoos
Sidewinders
Nads
Killer Bees
Rhinos
SuperGoofs

Division winners get byes, next 2 top records in each division play each other for the right to play the Division champ. It would bring back the old term of finishing in the top half (or bottom half) of the division.

Just an idea.

Division Re-alignment

2011-11-22T09:12:00.001-06:00

There has been some talk about scrambling the divisions to shake up the league a bit. One suggestion was to just do a random drawing every four years (2 years? EVERY year?). Just to get a feel of it, I thought I'd give it a try. I am going to draw names out of a hat (literally) as I write this. Here goes...

Division 1
Warpigs (yep, drew my team first. weird)
Drillers
Buckeyes
FFTs

Division 2
Killer Bees
Sidewinders
Wahoos
Inmates

Division 3
Fungoes
Mavs
Tweeners
DVs

Division 4
Zaps
SuperGoofs
Rhinos
Nads

Well, that was interesting. I think we'd call Division 1 the Champions Division. There are 22 league titles among those 4 teams. Still, looks like another cakewalk to the playoffs for the Buckeyes, as the other three are in for down years.

Division 2 kept the Mullens together. Fate, I guess. And those two would again fight for the division championship, as the Wahoos are hurting a little. Oh, wait, our commissioner has just reminded me that this is the Year of the Inmate. It does put together 4 guys who (in the past) have always preferred dice to the computer game.

Division 3 is... I got nothin'. But wouldn't it be fun for these 4 teams to go into the season without the usual obstacles standing between them and a division title? And all 4 teams are loaded for 2012.

Good luck ever hearing from the Division 4 teams. lol. But it does group together the winner of the last two titles (Zaps) with the winner of the 2012 title (Rhinos).

Again, before you get all excited and think I just made up some new rules (the dumbass Beeboy is probably checking his calendar to make sure he hasn't been fooled yet again with an April Fools joke), remember this is just a trial run. In my opinion, adding some spice to the mix could only help.

Looking Forward

2011-11-13T11:14:00.001-06:00

The Zaps are the champs for the second year in a row.

Big fat hairy deal. There's nothing to see here. Let's move on.

The 2012 Draft Grid has been posted on our website. The current rosters are also linked on the home page. At the bottom of each roster you can find your picks AND the number of reserves you own. Look over both the Draft Grid and the Rosters and let me know if you spot any mistakes.

The Tracker link is still there, but Yahoo has taken the MLB Fantasy 2011 info down. The DVs are working on a winter version supplement.

Also, if you have any suggestions for the website, please let me know.

2012 Draft Order

2011-11-12T21:47:00.001-06:00

1. Nads
2. Inmates
3. Drillers
4. SuperGoofs
5. Sidewinders
6. Tweeners
7. Fungoes
8. Rhinos
9. Mavs
10. Killer Bees
11. DVs
12. Wahoos
13. FFTs
14. Warpigs
15. Buckeyes
16. Zaps

NASOMA World Series 2011

2011-11-12T18:29:00.001-06:00

The Buckeyes vs the Zaps.

Game 1 starters are Wandy Rodriguez for the Zaps and Chris Carpenter for the Buckeyes.

Buckeyes win game 1, 2-0. Carpenter and bullpen dominate the Zaps.

Game 2 starters are Zach Greinke for the Zaps and Ted Lilly for the Buckeyes.

Zaps win game 2, 8-5. Series tied.

Game 3 starters are Josh Johnson for the Zaps and Vicente Padilla for the Buckeyes.

Zaps win 6-1. Johnson with the complete game. Zaps lead 2 games to 1.

Game 4 starters are Wandy Rodriguez and Chris Carpenter.

Zaps win 3-2. They are one win away from a repeat championship.

Game 5 starters are Greinke and Lilly.

Buckeyes toss another shutout, winning 6-0. The Zaps lead is now 3 games to 2, heading back home.

Game 6 starters are Johnson and Padilla.

The Zaps win game 6, 6-4, to win the Higdon.

Second Round - FFTs vs Zaps

2011-11-12T17:34:00.001-06:00

The Zaps advanced to the World Series with a 3-2 win in game 7. The FFTs, who came back from a 3-1 deficit to beat the Wahoos earlier, were on the other end of it this time.
Manny Ramirez homered in the 9th for the FFTs in what will be his last NASOMA at bat.

Second Round - Buckeyes vs Warpigs

2011-11-12T16:56:00.001-06:00

The Buckeyes routed the Pigs, winning the series 4 games to 1.

The scores:
Game 1 - Buckeyes 9, Warpigs 1 - Cliff Lee sucks. Jim Thome's homer was the only Pig run.

Game 2 - Warpigs 4, Buckeyes 3 - Thome hit a 2-out grand slam in the 8th inning.

Game 3 - Buckeyes 2, Warpigs 0 - Vicente Padilla with the shutout.

Game 4 - Buckeyes 5, Warpigs 1 - Chris Carpenter with the near shutout.

Game 5 - Buckeyes 4, Warpigs 1 - Ted Lilly with the virtual shutout. Albert Pujols homered for the only Pig run.

First Round - FFTs vs Wahoos

2011-11-12T10:00:00.001-06:00

Dice about to hit the table at 10:00.

Game 1 starters: Roy Oswalt for the FFTs, R.A. Dickey for the Wahoos.

Wahoos win game 1, 4-0. R.A. Dickey goes the distance, scattering 6 hits in the shutout. He walked none. Jon Jay went 5-5, with the last hit coming on a Single 1, lineout 2-20. The Wahoos scored 1 in the 8th and 3 in the 9th.

Game 2 starters: Jered Weaver for the FFTs and Jeremy Guthrie for the Wahoos.

Early game 2 note: Jon Jay singled in the first on a Catcher's-x roll (got the 1 - again). The Wahoos have gone on to score 4 in the first (including ANOTHER single on a 1).

The Wahoos scored 4 in the1st and 5 in the 2nd for a 10-5 win in game 2. They lead 2 games to none.

Game 3 at the Reservation. Starters are Fausto Carmona for the Wahoos and Hiroki Kuroda for the FFTs.

FFTs win game 3, 10-1. Manny Ramirez went 3-4 with 4 rbi. Reid Brignac was the star of the game, though, with a pinch-hit 3-run homer. Said the esteemed FFT manager, "We're just trading ass-kickings." The Wahoos lead 2 games to 1.

Game 4 starters: J.A. Happ for the Wahoos and Alex Sanabia for the FFTs.

The Wahoos win game 4, 5-3. Kevin Youkilis homered and the Wahoos scored all of their runs in the first three innings. Neither starter lasted long. The Wahoos lead 3 games to 1 and will try to avoid a return trip to FFT Park by winning game 5.

Game 5 starters are Oswalt and Dickey.

R.A. Dickey took a no-hitter into the 7th inning for the Wahoos, but lost the no-no and the game. FFTs take the series back home with a 4-1 win. Wahoos are still up 3 games to 2.

Game 6 starters are Weaver and Guthrie.

Game 6 early update: The Wahoos started off the game with a ballpark homer chance (1-3) and rolled ANOTHER 1. The batter was weak, though, and only singled. He stole second and eventually scored, giving the Hoos an early lead.

The FFTs and Jered Weaver return the butt-whipping from game 2, winning game 6, 10-2. Weaver struck out 13. The series is now tied and headed to game 7.

The Rhinos are here wondering when they play. The Buckeyes and Zaps just came in. The talk right now is mostly about the DVs and their multi-colored charts they used to (not) beat the Buckeyes.

Game 7 starters are Kuroda and Carmona.

Wahoos 000 100 000 - 1 6 0
FFTs 100 001 02x - 4 8 0

1st inning - Josh Hamilton with an rbi single
4th inning - Justin Morneau homers
6th inning - Hamilton with another rbi single, this time off a lefty.

The FFTs come back from down 3-1 to win their first round series with the Wahoos. They advance to the second round to meet the defending champion Zaps.

First Round - DVs vs Buckeyes

2011-11-05T14:50:00.001-05:00

The first dice roll is seconds away. I'll keep an ongoing update here.

Game 1 starters: Roy Halladay for the DVs and Ted Lilly for the Buckeyes.

DVs win game 1, 2-1. Halladay the winner. Storen the save. The DVs overcame 3 errors in the first 4 innings (and the chore of figuring out this "fielding chart" thing).

Game 2 starters: Kris Medlen for the DVs and Vicente Padilla for the Buckeyes.

Buckeyes win game 2, 4-1. Padilla the winner; Uehara the save. Series tied 1-1.

Game 3 starters: Chris Carpenter for the Buckeyes. Mat Latos for the DVs.

With stopper Drew Storen already on the mound to protect a 2-1 DV lead in the top of the 9th at DV Park, Big Papi stepped to the plate. DV manager Ozzie Smith visited the mound. During the visit, Francisco Liriano suddenly appeared from the bullpen. Said Smith, "What the hell are you doing here?" Forced to bring Liriano in, John Buck pinch hit for Ortiz and blasted a game-tying homer. Mike Aviles saved Ozzie's job (temporarily) with a 2-out, 3-run homer for the walk off, 5-2 win by the DVs. The DVs lead 2 games to 1.

Game 4 starters: Cole Hamels for the Buckeyes and Brian Matusz for the DVs.

Buckeye slugger Daric Barton hit a 3-run homer, and the Buckeyes even up the series with a 6-2 win. Hamels got the win. Evan Meek got the save, getting Mike Aviles with the bases loaded in the 8th, leading to the DVs shouting, "Aviles, you suck!" This is the same Aviles who won game 3 with a homer.

Game 5 starters are Ted Lilly for the Buckeyes and Roy Halladay for the DVs.

Halladay took a no-hitter in the 7th inning. Casper Wells homered to end the no-no and the shutout, but Halladay goes the distance for a 3-1 win. The DVs lead 3 games to 2 heading back to Buckeye Park.

Game 6 starters are Kris Medlen for the DVs and Vicente Padilla for the Buckeyes.

Game 6 is tied going to the 8th.
Chris Heisey hit an rbi single in the bottom of the 9th for a 3-2 Buckeye win. On to game 7.

Game 7 starters are Chris Carpenter for the Buckeyes and Mat Latos for the DVs.

DVs 000 000 000 - 0 2 0
Buckeyes 010 000 00x - 1 3 0

2nd inning - Daric Barton draws a bases loaded walk.
top of 7th - Ian Kinsler missed a double 1-3, fly with 2 on and 2 out.
Meek relieved Carpenter in the 7th. He's still in.
The Buckeyes win 1-0 and advance to the next round.

VivaZaPasta Torneo por Invitación

2011-10-31T21:47:00.001-05:00

A conference call took place tonight between the Buckeyes, Warpigs, DVs, and Wahoos. The tie between the Wahoos and DVs, who went 5-5 against each other this year, had to be settled with a roll of the Buckeye 20-sided die. Odds, the DVs were seed 5, evens it was the Wahoos. The roll was 12.

The tie between the Buckeyes and Warpigs was decided based on the head to head record, with the Pigs going 6-4 and thereby earning the coveted first round bye.

Here are the seedings for the Zap Invitational...

#6 DVs vs #3 Buckeyes - to be played F2F on Saturday, November 5

#5 Wahoos vs #4 FFTs - to be played F2F on Saturday, November 12

#2 Warpigs - first round bye
#1 VivaZaPastas - first round bye

The second round and World Series will be played F2F on Saturday, November 12.

All games to be played at the Pig Sty.

The DVs are unavailable the weekend of the 12th, so if they advance... What am I saying? The DVs advancing... hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Wahoos at Warpigs

2011-10-31T00:00:00.000-05:00

Warpigs 2, Wahoos 0

The regular season comes to an end.

9/15 - @ The BallPork - Warpigs 8, Wahoos 5 - Jim Thome hit bookend 3-run homers in the 1st and 7th innings. Youkilis hit a 1st-inning grand slam for the Wahoos - his second slam in the last 3 games.

9/16 - @ The BallPork - Warpigs 5, Wahoos 2 - Tommy "Big Game" Hunter had the Pigs shut out until Albert Pujols homered leading off the 7th. After Hunter then walked Thome, Carlos Marmol came in and bent over, allowing a single to Soto and a 2-run triple to Delmon Young. Jim Thome homered in the 8th.

Warpigs vs Wahoos

2011-10-30T13:05:00.001-05:00

Warpigs 3, Wahoos 0

The Warpigs clinched the BUD title with three wins today.

8/1 @The Reservation - Warpigs 13, Wahoos 6 - The Pigs scored 3 in the 1st, 3 in the 2nd, and 4 in the 3rd, and then overcame a 5-run 4th by the Wahoos to win the game. Albert Pujols went 4/4. Jim Thome hit into a triple play.

9/13 @The BallPork - Warpigs 7, Wahoos 6 - The Pigs jumped out quickly again, scoring 2 in the 1st and 4 more in the 2nd, but the 'Hoos responded with a 6-run 3rd that featured four straight walks followed by a single and a grand slam. David Freese had a 2-out, pinch hit rbi single in the 4th for the go ahead run, and the Pigpen held on for the win.

9/14 @The BallPork - Warpigs 11, Wahoos 8 - The division-clinching game was full of drama. The Wahoos put together another big inning, scoring 4 in the 3rd, only to have the Pigs tie it with two 2-run homers by Omar Infante and Jim Thome in the bottom half of the inning. The Hoos led 8-4 going to the bottom of the 8th, but Pujols and Thome hit back-to-back homers after two were out to cut it to 8-6. Then in the bottom of the 9th, the inning started with walk, walk, single, sac fly, double. After a fielder's choice nailed the potential winning run at the plate for the first out, Albert Pujols hit a 3-run bomb, sending the BallPork faithful into a celebration that lasted hours. Unfortunately, the field was damaged by the celebration, postponing the two remaining games for a few hours.

Draft Order

2011-10-30T01:59:00.000-05:00

The 2012 Draft Order among the non-playoff teams is:
1. Nads
2. Inmates
3. Drillers
4. SuperGoofs
5. Sidewinders
6. Tweeners
7. Fungoes
8. Rhinos
9. Mavs
10. Killer Bees

Mavs at Wahoos

2011-10-30T00:32:00.000-05:00

Mavs 3, Wahoos 2

The first loss eliminated the Mavs from any post season hopes while clinching a playoff spot for the DVs. The Wahoos are 1 game back of the Warpigs for the BUD title. The two teams will now square off for the final 5 games of the regular season. Both the Warpigs and Wahoos have earned spots in the playoffs.

Inmates at Mavs

2011-10-29T17:24:00.001-05:00

Inmates 3, Mavs 1

(all games at Mavland)

INMATES 7 – MAVS 5: Mavs keep battling back, but Chamberlain gets the last 2 outs. Santana finishes the year 13-13.

INMATES 6 – MAVS 1: A 3-run homer by Gonzalez and a strong pitching performance by Norris is enough for the Inmate win.

INMATES 9 – MAVS 7 (10): A see-saw battle featuring 13 pitchers. Street is forced to pitch even though tired, and RBI hits by Pennington and Betemit win it for the Inmates.

MAVS 7 – INMATES 0: Homer Bailey pitches one of the most dominant games in recent memory, holding the LDMF to 1 hit (a 3-3 1-6 single) and allowing one walk. Wood gets reamed early. Inmates close out season getting dominated (oooh, we like it…).

The HEAD INMATE

Wahoos vs Inmates

2011-10-27T18:45:00.001-05:00

Inmates 4, Wahoos 3

INMATES 7 – WAHOOS 6 (Baptist Bowl): Norris walks 9 in 7.1, but Inmates hang on after almost blowing 7-0 lead.

WAHOOS 7 – INMATES 0 (Baptist Bowl): Nolasco tosses 2-hitter. LDMF sucks.

INMATES 6 – WAHOOS 4 (Baptist Bowl): Inmates 4-run 7^th, highlighted by 2-run triple by Castro, wins game.

WAHOOS 5 – INMATES 0 (Baptist Bowl): Floyd takes one for the team and pitches a complete game piece of shit. Dickme shuts out the LDMF on 6 hits.

INMATES 3 – WAHOOS 0 (Reservation): 3-run Inmates 1^st holds up as Santana is in classic mode, striking out 11 and allowing 5 hits.

INMATES 7 – WAHOOS 3 (Reservation): Inmates score 7 in 8^th, with biggest blow being a grand slam by Beltre.

WAHOOS 7 – INMATES 1 (Reservation): Marmol loses Happ’s SHO in 9^th, but everything else goes the Wahoo way.

The HEAD INMATE

Wahoos vs Tweeners

2011-10-27T18:43:00.001-05:00

Wahoos 4, Tweeners 0

This series was finally completed with the Wahoos pulling out vital 4-0.

August 12, at Wahoos 6-5 ... Adam Wainwright struck out 14 and settled down after giving up 5 first-inning runs.

August 13, at Wahoos 6-5 (11 innings) ... Miguel Olivo was the improbable hero with a two-star hit off Luke Gregorson in the 11th inning. Felix Hernandez was staked to an early lead but struggled to hang on. Carlos Marmol went 4 innings for the win.

June 29, Wahoos 5-2 (10) ... Wahoos scored 4 in the top of the 10th and held on to win.

June 30, Wahoos 4-1

World Series Game 5

2011-10-25T22:34:00.001-05:00

I finally made it to my first (and probably last) World Series game. It was expensive, but worth every penny. It was an amazing game. Even the six intentional walks - THREE to Albert Pujols. Hard to imagine a situation where a pitcher is brought in to intentionally walk a batter - and then get pulled without a pinch hitter being announced. The home run by Mitch Moreland was crushed. So was the one by Adrian Beltre. But the bases loaded, go ahead double to right center by Mike Napoli was one of the loudest moments I've ever been a part of.

Inmates at Rhinos

2011-10-25T19:15:00.000-05:00

Inmates 3, Rhinos 2

(all games at Rhinoland)

RHINOS 11 – INMATES 2: Votto taters twice; Inmates suck.

INMATES 6 – RHINOS 5: Votto taters twice more, but Inmates knock Rhinos out of playoff contention.

INMATES 5 – RHINOS 3 (15): Inmates make 7 (?!?) errors, but pull the game out (of their asses) in the 15^th.

INMATES 8 – RHINOS 4: Snoozer of a game. Nothing exciting happened.

RHINOS 9 – INMATES 4: Floyd takes one for the team and pitches a complete game piece of shit.

The HEAD INMATE

Trade

2011-10-25T19:12:00.001-05:00

The FFTs traded the DV 7th rounder back to the DVs for Ian Desmond.

Sidewinders at Inmates

2011-10-23T20:39:00.001-05:00


Carlos Zambrano breaks cf Tony Campana over his knee.

Snakes 2, Inmates 1

Snakes win 2 of 3 to wrap up our season. Game one saw Carlos Zambrano make his only start of the season.Despite giving up 7 ER, he picks up the win. Snakes win 14-9.Morse and Thames homer twice each.
Game 2 was decided when Fukodome hit a 3 run tater in the bottom of the 10th off of hanrahan
Game 3 Morrow and Feliz combine to best de la rosa and the inmates 4-2. Beltran and Wright homer for the snakes.
AS BAD AS THIS YEAR HAS BEEN FOR THE SNAKES 2012 WILL BE MUCH WORSE.........

Inmates at Sidewinders

2011-10-23T19:12:00.001-05:00

Inmates 1, Sidewinders 1

Both games at the Snake Pit:

SSWs 6 – Inmates 5 (11): Perez blows a two-run lead (and himself) in the 9^th, then Morse hits a walk-off tater in the 11^th.

Inmates 7 – SSWs 3: Howard and Beltre hit back-to-back homers in the 2^nd, then Howard and Johnson hit 2-run shots later in the game.

Ho-hum.

The HEAD INMATE

Nads at Fungoes

2011-10-23T13:59:00.001-05:00

Fungoes 3, Nads 2

Gm1 – Nads finally win a one run game Nads 5-4

Gm2 – WTF? Nads win again 10-9. DAVE brought 5 runs across the plate in the top of the 4th inning when they had 6 base hits. The critical plate appearance was by Pierzynski who silenced the stadium when he clubbed a three-run home run. DAVE lit up the scoreboard in the 4th inning when they had 5 runs on 6 hits. DEREK had a chance to come back in the 9th but they came up short.

Gm3 - The DEREK FUNGOES ended their winless drought and toppled the woeful DAVE -NADS by a 5 to 1 score at Pac Bell Park. Hal got that right – woeful

Gm4- Fungoes win 3-2 Nads lose another one run game – no bench, no bullpen and no hope of winning #%^*&%#%@#@#

Gm5 - David Price held DAVE scoreless on just 2 hits as the DEREK FUNGOES defeated the awful DAVE NADS by a score of 5 to 0 at Pac Bell Park. Perfect!! Nads end this #$%^ season shutout by the ^&*^ Fungoes .

Nads at Sidewinders

2011-10-22T16:40:00.003-05:00

Snakes 4, Nads 1

Snakes go 4-1 at home against the NADS

Gm 1 – Hal wrote on the boxscore – “Jonathan Sanchez(1-0) and Bronson Arroyo(6-6) dueled it out with Sanchez and the VINCE SIDEWINDERS coming out on top of the awful DAVE NADS by the scoreof 4 to 0.” Awful is an understatement!!

Gm2 – Nads lose yet another one run game – Snakes win 4-3

Gm3 – Nads are shutout AGAIN!!!! Nuf said snakes win 4-0

Gm4 – Hal wrote “The VINCE SIDEWINDERS readily handled hapless DAVE NADS by a score of 5 to 1 at Dodger Stadium.” Hapless my ass, NADS SUCK

Gm5 – Nads avoided a sweep as Ryan Dempster dominated striking out 10 VINCE batters and Dan Uggla knocked 2 homeruns and had 4 RBI as the DAVE NADS topped the VINCE SIDEWINDERS by a score of 6 to 1 at Dodger Stadium.

Nads at Rhinos

2011-10-22T16:04:00.002-05:00

Rhino Nads

Rhinos 3, Nads 2

Gm1 – 2-2 tie until top of 8^th – A. Gonzalez went deep.Nads enjoyed a one run lead until the bottom of the 9^th when the Rhinos scored 2 for the win 4-3

Gm2 – Rhinos shutout the Nads 4-0 – Nads suck!!!

Gm3 – 2-2 tie after 9 innings. Saito pitched lights out ball as he retired 13 straight Rhinos. JD Drew homered in the top of the 13^th and that was enough – Nads won 3-2

Gm4 – Nads scored 8 runs in the top of the 2^nd inning and go on to win 12-5

Gm5 - Rhinos win 6-5 Nad bullpen gave up 3 runs in the bottom of the 8^th and then one more in the bottom of the 9^th.

Game files, boxscores and stats attached

Wahoos at Zaps

2011-10-21T19:32:00.001-05:00

Zaps 3, Wahoos 2

Wahoos salvaged the final two games of their series with the Zaps in Zapperville.

Game 1: Zaps win 5-3.

Game 2: Wahoos had a chance but Jose Reyes wins it with a walkoff homer. Zaps 5-4.

Game 3: Zaps do it again, 4-3.

Game 4: Jed Lowrie snaps a 1-1 tie with a 2-run homer off Scott Downs. Marmol hangs on for the save. 3-2.

Game 5: Zaps score in the first then get quiet. Youkilis hit a pinch grand slam off Downs or Kuo -- can't recall who -- and the Marmol hangs on for the save. 4-1.

Wild Card Update

2011-10-19T18:23:00.000-05:00

Winding down... We'd have a clearer picture if THE WAHOOS WOULD PLAY SOME DAMN GAMES!

But as it stands now, the Braves, er, Bees took a huge hit closing out the regular season getting swept on the Zapper's computer. He needs a lot of help, and the best he can hope for is that last seed. The DVs eliminated any hope the Fungoes had of sneaking in, while at the same time putting himself in good position to get a playoff spot - barring a hot finish to the season from either the Rhinos or the Mavs. The Mavs need to go 6-3 down the stretch to tie the DVs. The Rhinos, who lost 4 of 5 against Buster Posey and the Drillers, need an 8-2 finish. The Wahoos, with 26 fucking games still left to play, could finish anywhere from BUD champs (they are 1.5 back of the Warpigs) to out of the playoffs completely. Hell, mathematically, the Wahoos could still win the #1 overall seed.

Here are the standings:

B.U.D.	W	L	%	GB	Remaining Games
Wahoos	74	62	.544	--	26
DVs	85	77	.525	2.0	0
Bees	84	78	.519	3.0	0
Mavs	79	74	.516	3.5	9
Rhinos	77	75	.507	5.0	10

Fungoes at DVs

2011-10-19T18:01:00.001-05:00

DVs 4, Fungoes 3

A spirited 7 game netplay series saw the DVs take 4 of 7 in the DiamondVision home park.

Game 1 – DVs 6 Fungoes 5. A seesaw battle that saw Zimmerman homer in the 7^th to tie, then Fowler homers in the 8^th to put the DVs up a run. Fungoes play small ball with a sac fly in the top of the 9^th to tie the game as the DVs can’t score after loading the bases with one out which sends the game to extra innings. Finally Aramis Ramirez sends the DV faithful home happy with a walk off homer in the bottom of the 12^th.

Game 2 – Jon Garland is smoking with a 3 hit shutout as the Fungoes take the game 3-0.

Game 3 – Kia’ahue hits a pinch hit home run in the 7^th to provide the difference in a 5-4 DV win

Game 4 – DVs prevail 8-7 in a game that saw 5 lead changes and the DVs score 3 in the bottom of the 8^th after Zimmerman’s error allows 2 unearned runs to open the floodgates.

Game 5 – DVs lead 7-2 going into the 9^th, only to see the bullpen completely meltdown as the Fungoes plate 5 runs, with Nelson Cruz’ grand slam being the big blow. Mike Stanton walks off with a homer in the bottom of the 10^th to secure the DV win at 8-7.

Game 6 - Fungoes win 8-4 behind the strength of a Zimmerman grand slam in the 7^th

Game 7 – Fungoes win 8-4 behind Garland as the Fungoes knock Halladay out in the fourth inning. Fungoes stole something like 4,000 bases in the series and made McCann’s life a living, breathing hell.

Zaps at Killer Bees

2011-10-17T23:26:00.000-05:00

Zaps 3, Bees 0

ZapsSweep the Bees.

Game1 Johnson outduels Hanson 5-1 backed by two-run taters by McCutchen andFielder.

Game2 Greinke throws a complete game four-hit 7-1 win.

Game3 Dunn ties the game with a grand slam off Benoit in the bottom of the 8^th,but Bautista taters in the 10^th for a 6-5 triumph.

Games Remaining

2011-10-17T23:13:00.001-05:00

Four teams (FFTs, Goofs, Buckeyes, Drillers) have completed their seasons. Three of those (not the Drillers) have already submitted their final stats, which you can see by clicking on their team names on the standings.

Here are the remaining games to be played:
Warpigs vs Wahoos 5 (1@Wahoos, 4@Warpigs)
Rhinos vs Nads 5 (@Rhinos)
Rhinos vs Inmates 5 (@Rhinos)
Wahoos vs Mavs 5 (@Wahoos)
Wahoos vs Inmates 7 (3@Wahoos, 4@Inmates)
Wahoos vs Zaps 5 (@Zaps)
Wahoos vs Tweeners 4 (2@Wahoos, 2@Tweeners)
DVs vs Fungoes 7 (@DVs)
Fungoes vs Nads 5 (@Fungoes)
Mavs vs Inmates 4 (@Mavs)
Nads vs Sidewinders 5 (@Sidewinders)
Inmates vs Sidewinders 5 (3@Inmates, 2@Sidewinders)
Killer Bees vs Zaps 3 (@Killer Bees)

The @ indicates the HOME team, not the team responsible for playing mail games. Stupid fucking rule.

Total Games Left:
Warpigs 5
Wahoos 26
Rhinos 10
DVs 7
Fungoes 12
Mavs 9
Inmates 21
Nads 15
Zaps 8
Killer Bees 3
Tweeners 4
Sidewinders 10

Fungoes at Drillers

2011-10-17T19:04:00.003-05:00

Fungoes 4, Drillers 3

Fungoes at Drillers

June 18:

Fungoes 1

Drillers 2

Jon Garland takes the hard luck complete game loss despite throwing a 4 hitter. Fungoes run themselves completely out of the game and set a club record by being caught stealing 8 times, including 3 caught stealing for Nellie Cruz! With a 1 for 3 A J Ellis batting average vs the Fungi pitching swooned to .500! Hammel gets the win for the Drillers. Brian Wilson earned the save. 'He gutted it out' Driller's manager said of Hammel. 'I was very impressed by his tenacity.'

June 19:

Fungoes 3

Drillers 0

Myers and Rodriguez combine for a five hit shutout for the Fungoes. Rodriguez picks up his first save of the season. Gardner and Cruz Homer for the Fungoes. A J Ellis goes 0 for 3 dropping his Fungo-killing average to .448. Lincecum is tagged with the hard luck loss.

June 20:

Fungoes 5

Drillers 6

Drillers display some 'walkoff' magic winning this one 6-5 in 10 innings. The score was knotted at 4 after nine innings. The Drillers came out the victor in
the 10th inning. After two outs Peter Bourjos keyed the rally when he doubled. Evan Longoria followed next and he slapped a base-hit. Longoria
stole second with some aggressive base running. Brian Roberts followed and he drew a walk. Darnell McDonald stepped into the box and doubled. SHAWN
totaled 11 hits on the afternoon. The winning pitcher was Pedro Feliciano(1-1) who allowed no runs in 2/3 of an inning. Joel Zumaya(1-2) absorbed the loss in relief. He was unable to retire a batter and surrendered 2 hits and 1 walk. The Fungo manager was heard mumbling 'shitfuck' to himself after this one slipped away. AJ Ellis pulls another 0 for 3 dropping his Fungi crushing average to .400.

September 13:

Fungoes 3

Drillers 2

The Fungoes edged the Drillers at AT&T Park by the score of 3 to 2. DEREK came up with 2 runs in the top of the 7th inning when they came up with
3 base hits. The critical plate appearance was by Nelson Cruz who quieted the crowd when he doubled bringing home two baserunners. Joel Zumaya pitched
a perfect ninth and was credited with his 3rd save. The victory was credited to Francisco Rodriguez(1-1) who went 1 and 1/3 innings, allowing no runs. Dan Haren was tagged with the loss.

September 14:

Fungoes 4

Drillers 3

Clayton Kershaw delivered a fine performance for the Fungoes. He allowed 7 hits and 3 walks in 7 innings. The Drillers had a chance to come back in the 9th
but they came up short. Joel Zumaya gained credit for his 4th save. Ricky Romero was charged with the loss. He gave up 7 hits and 3 walks in 7 innings.

September 15:

Fungoes 7

Drillers 1

Ryan Zimmerman homered and had 2 RBI and Jon Garland tossed a complete game as the Fungoes defeated the Drillers 7 to 1 at AT&T Park.

The Fungi brought 5 runs across the plate in the 4th inning when they came up with 5 base hits. The biggest moment was provided by Ramon Santiago who silenced the stadium when he doubled bringing home two baserunners. The Fungoes banged out 16 hits in their victory. Garland was the winner allowing 1 run for the game. Jeff Niemann was given the loss. He got hit hard, allowing 10 hits and 2 walks in 4 and 1/3 innings. Konerko and Longoria on the floor made things a bit more difficult for the Driller offense. Add to that AJ Ellis' continued swoon at the plate dropping his average vs the Fungoes all the way down to .341.

September 16:

Fungoes 1

Drillers 3

Darnell McDonald touched them all and had 2 RBI as the DRILLERS bested the FUNGOES 3 to 1 at AT&T Park in the season finale. The win went to Jason Hammel who allowed no runs in 6 and 1/3 innings. Brian Wilson earned his 3rd save. Brett Myers was hit with the loss. AJ Ellis finished up with a sparkling .349 average in the series.

Zaps at Sidewinders

2011-10-16T22:46:00.002-05:00

Sidewinders 4, Zaps 0

TheSnakes dominate the Zaps.

(Editor's note: The Snakes self-imposed, draft-position-palooza tanking is dealt a severe blow. Take THAT, Snakeman!)

Game 1 Snake get on top early and hang on 4-3.

Game2 Snakes score the game winner of Benoit in the bottom of the 9^th.

Game3 Snake blow open a 0-0 game with 2 in the 7^th and 5 in the 8^th.

Game4 Snakes blow out the Zaps 7-1 to sweep the series.

Later,Zapper

Drillers at Fungoes

2011-10-16T13:18:00.000-05:00

Fungoes 5, Drillers 2

Drillers at Fungoes

May 7:

Drillers 2

Fungoes 0

Lincecum and Brian Wilson combine on a six hit masterpiece/shutout. Wilson picks up the save. Konerko drives in both runs as Jon Garland takes the complete game loss.

May 8:

Drillers 2

Fungoes 3

Zimmerman hits a walkoff Homerun in the bottom of the 12th propelling the Fungoes to the win. Dessens picks up the win in relief while the loss goes to Slowey. Konerko Homered for the Drillers and again drove in both runs.

May 9:

Drillers 8

Fungoes 9

This was one of those games where the Drillers should have stayed home and played with themselves! Drillers jump to a 6-0 lead scoring 6 in the first on 3 Fungodickhead errors! Fungoes tie the game in the 7th and it stays tied until the 10th. Drillers score 1 in the top of the 10th to take a 8-7 lead. Then with two outs and bases empty the madness begins; Nelson Cruz started the rally when he delivered a one-base hit. Brett Gardner next to the plate and he lashed a single. Chone Figgins then drew a walk to load the bases. Lance Berkman drew a walk to tie the score. Zimmerman came up to bat next and ripped a walkoff single! Zumaya picked up the win while Brian Wilson was tagged with the loss.

May 10:

Drillers 5

Fungoes 6

Drillers suffer a third consecutive walkoff loss! Fungoes come to bat in the bottom of the ninth trailing 5-2. The Fungoes scored the decisive runs in a big bottom of the 9th inning as they scored 4 runs on 4 base hits. The highlight belonged to Ryan Zimmerman who made the Fungo fans a happy lot when he slapped a walkoff single plating two baserunners. Both teams finished the game with 11 hits. The victory went to David Robertson who went 3 and 1/3 innings, allowing no runs. Pedro Feliciano was tagged with the loss in relief.

'That was exciting!,' Berkman said. 'I would have paid money to watch this one.'

July 30:

Drillers 7

Fungoes 1

Driller bats break open a 1-1 game with a four spot in the top of the 6th inning. 2 more runs in the 7th close out the scoring and hand Porcello the loss. The win goes to Niemann. McDonald lad the Drillers with two Homers and three RBIs.

July 31:

Drillers 2

Fungoes 5

Fungoes win this one 5-2. David Price picks up the complete game win while Hammel takes the loss. Lance Berkman Homered for the Fungi.

August 1:

Drillers 4

Fungoes 7

At Pac Bell Park the Fungoes plated 4 runs in the 6th inning and outscored the rillers 7 to 4. 4 runs crossed the plate for the Fungoes in the 6th inning when they came up with 3 base hits. The biggest moment was provided by Coco Crisp who made the crowd come alive when he ripped a one-base hit scoring two baserunners. The Fungi finished with 11 hits in the victory. Brett Myers went 7 innings allowing 4 runs for the win. Jonathan Papelbon gained credit for his 4th save. Tim Lincecum suffered the loss. He was touched for 10 hits and 4 walks in 7 and 2/3 innings. Coco Crisp ran wild on the base paths stealing 5 bases including 2 steals of home plate!

I wonder what Cliff Lee was doing last night...

2011-10-16T09:10:00.000-05:00

Good thing he chose the Phillies so he'd have a better chance to get back to the World Series. By the way, the vaunted Phillie rotation of Halladay, Lee, Hamels, and Oswalt combined to win 59 games this year. The Rangers' top four (Wilson, Holland, Lewis, Harrison) won 60.

2011 American League Champions!

2011-10-15T22:53:00.003-05:00

The Texas Rangers, 2011 American League Pennant winners

Thoughts on Usage...

2011-10-14T22:52:00.001-05:00

NASOMA has operated successfully for over 30 years with a lot of what we do based on the honor system. I'm referring to stats, mainly. Since the days when all 162 games - even the mail games - were played with dice, we have been responsible for our own stats. And responsible, too, for putting together a team where each position had enough at bats to cover the season. Innings, too. Careful consideration goes into making sure you have enough at bats and innings to get through the season.

It hasn't always been easy. I remember my first wake up call came at my first draft. I had taken over a team early in the season the year before, and never had a player with an AB/IP issue. Then, while playing games at the draft the following year, Terry commented that at the rate we were scoring runs, we'd have some at bat issues before the season was over. It had never dawned on me until then that there might be a problem. My whole starting lineup had been regulars the year before and had tons of at bats. But the Warpigs scored a bunch that year, and we did have to eventually rest most of them. I also remember watching Ab's team, with some of his best hitters batting 8th or 9th in the lineup. I thought that was odd until I realized it was to lengthen their seasons because they didn't have a full complement of at bats.

The only time we have openly had an issue with overuse (that I know of), was the Cletes going over on several players the year he won the Series. It didn't help that he had also circumvented the starting pitcher rotation rule that year. So the Cletes were basically shown the door, and the whole episode was deemed a "Clete" problem, and that was that.

But maybe it's time to establish some accountability in this area. One of our teams has announced that, with a dozen or so games remaining, they have run out of at bats at a certain position. We have no consequences in place, but obviously something has to be done. Glenn has addressed this situation, and it is being taken care of, but we need something in place for next time.

So what's the answer? You can't just force them to forfeit the games because when you're angling for draft position, losing games is an advantage. Plus, it's not fair to the teams you faced earlier in the season.

I played in a short-lived league one year where the powers that be said the consequence for overusage was losing the rights to the player the next year. Well hell, if you have Greg Pirkl or Shane Spencer, what do you care about "next year"? I told them I was going to use my "Greg Pirkl" every game and bat him third. They quickly realized that they needed to adjust their rule.

So what's the answer? Garth's other league has a couple of rules I like. One is that each case is considered on its own merit. Was it this owner's first time to have this problem? How many AB/IP was it? Was it a playoff team? Was it accidental or negligence? Questions like those are taken into consideration before fines are levied. Owners have lost draft picks, had their draft picks moved back, been limited as to how many players they could protect, and even lost players (and not Greg Pirkl types, but real players).

Another rule of theirs concerning ABs is that any batter with 550+ at bats on their card is allowed an unlimited number of ABs that season. They don't add 10% like we do, but I love the unlimited AB rule.

The other issue with this brings the "honor" into it. Since we do our own stats, what - besides honor - keeps an owner from just making the stats "fit"? Who among us hasn't, at one time or another, secretly questioned the scruples of another owner?

Is the answer turning in your game files to a central person, who then enters them into a league? Many other leagues already do this. But then, what do we do with the dice games?

Anyway, this is something we probably need to think about and talk about. And it's too big an issue to wait until the draft to bring up. So... I'm bringing it up now. I hope it starts some dialogue, so that by the draft we have a better handle on what we want to do.

What are your thoughts?

Drillers at Rhinos

2011-10-13T22:29:00.000-05:00

Drillers 4, Rhinos 1

Drillers win 4 games to 1 vs. the Sultan’s Rhino.

April 28 Drillers take it on the chin, 9 – 5. Romero loses to Cecil. It was a tight game until the 2^nd inning!

April 29 A six-run top of the third lead to a cake walk Driller 7 – 5 victory. Slowey tried to piss down his leg, giving up 4 in the bottom of the ninth, but held them off!

April 30 We somehow manage to hang on for a 5 – 4 win.

September 5 The critical plate appearance was by Buster Posey who silenced the stadium

when he cleared the fences for a two-run home run. Drillers take it 6 – 4.

September 6

DRILLERS........ 0 1 3  0 1 2  0 1 3  - 11 13  0

RHINOS.......... 0 0 0  0 0 0  0 1 0  -  1  5  0

Tweeners at Sidewinders

2011-10-10T20:29:00.001-05:00

Sidewinders 3, Tweeners 1

The soothing chatter of dice was sufficient to offset the agony of defeat as the Nats, er, Tweeners dropped 3 of 4 to the Astros, er, Sidewinders at the Church Lot. The highlight for the Tweeners was game 3, when Dan Hudson hit the wall, er, floor after 7.1 shutout innings, but the Tweeners' 'pen was up to the task for the combined 1-0 shutout. Otherwise the Tweeners' batters phoned it in, scoring a total of 8 runs in 4 games, and it's a wonder we did not get swept. The new Corey Hart bobblehead doll was a complete bust, as he went 0 for 15 in the series. At least we can say we won the season series against the Snakes. Where are the fucking cards?

State of the Association

2011-10-10T00:28:00.001-05:00

There are only a few games remaining to be played in the 2011 regular season, and 3 of the 4 divisions are all sewn up.

With 93 wins and 12 to play, the Zaps have run away with both the Ab Wheeler Division and the overall #1 seed. The Buckeyes, who have completed their season, have clinched the Millard Fillmore with 91 wins and will probably be the #2 seed and get the other bye. The FFTs, in the club house with 88 wins, are one DV loss away from winning the NERDD. Only the Bob Uecker Division, with three teams still in contention, has yet to be decided. The Warpigs lead the Wahoos by a slim 1.5 games and the Rhinos by 5. The Wahoos still have 26 games to play, including the 5 face to face games looming at the end of the season with the Pigs.

The wild card picture is, well, wild. The teams in competition for the 2 playoff spots are the DVs, the Killer Bees, the Mavs, and whoever finishes 2nd and 3rd in the BUD. Currently, the wild card standings are:

Wild Card	W	L	%	GB	Remaining Games
Wahoos	74	62	.544	--	26
Bees	84	75	.528	1.5	3
DVs	81	74	.523	2.5	7
Rhinos	76	71	.517	3.5	15
Mavs	79	74	.516	3.5	9

The playoffs will hopefully be in November. Check in with the Buckeyes concerning which weekends are good (or bad) for you.

In other news...

Based only on meeting the "games played" deadline each month, here are the current demerit totals for the season:

Wahoos 3 (43gp at the 50g mark; 60gp at the 75g mark; 132gp at the 140g mark)
Inmates 3 (49gp at the 50g mark; 67gp at the 75g mark; 130gp at the 140g mark)
Sidewinders 2 (16gp at the 20g mark; 59gp at the 75g mark)
Fungoes 2 (63gp at the 75g mark; 136gp at the 140g mark)
Warpigs 1 (46gp at the 50g mark)
Rhinos 1 (37gp at the 50g mark)
Nads 1 (64gp at the 75g mark)
Zaps 1 (64gp at the 75g mark)
Bees 1 (68gp at the 75g mark)
Mavs 1 (119gp at the 120g mark)

Since no one has more than 3 demerits, there's no one scheduled to have their pre-draft rosters limited. Here are the consequences we agreed on:

0-3 demerits: no consequence
4 demerits: you are limited to a max of 20 players at the March cut down.
5 demerits: you are limited to a max of 19 players
6 demerits: you are limited to a max of 18 players
7 demerits: you are limited to a max of 17 players
8 demerits: you are limited to a max of 16 players
9-14 demerits: you are limited to a max of 15 players
15 or more demerits: you are limited to a max of 14 players

And here are the remaining deadlines for the year:

November 1 - 162 games
November 26 - Final stats submitted. Failure to turn in your stats on time earns you 5 demerits.

Wahoos at Inmates

2011-10-09T20:30:00.001-05:00

Wahoos 1, Inmates 0

Yep, one game. I'd explain, but... I don't want to.

ALCS 2011 - Game 1

2011-10-09T12:45:00.000-05:00

MavMan talks to WTFungo before the start of the game.

To quote the DVs, it was a "veritable NASOMA party" last night at the Rangers/Tigers game 1. As usual, the Rhinos and Mavs were there. But also in attendance were the Warpigs, the Fungoes, and the Wahoos. I'm not sure if there were other NASOMA managers, but it's possible.

Sidewinders at Wahoos

2011-10-05T22:12:00.000-05:00

Wahoos 2, Snakes 1

7/7/11 Jimenez pitches into the 9th but loses the shutout on Morneau ph 2 run HR.Feliz saves it
Torres homers twice for snakes. SSWs4 Hoos 2
7/8/11Danks loses no hitter in the 7th and Feliz loses the game in the 8th. Youk hits 3 run HR. Hoos 6 snakes 4
7/9/11 Carmona and Fuentes combine for 2 hit shutout and Wahoos win 3-0. Damon hit a 2 run HR.

SSWS (Losing on purpose to improve your draft position shouldn't be this easy!)

Inmates vs Mavs

2011-10-05T22:10:00.001-05:00

Mavs 7, Inmates 3

Via netplay:

LDMF continue their sub-mediocre ways. Results too painful to recap.

The HEAD INMATE

Tweeners at Killer Bees

2011-10-04T20:25:00.001-05:00

Bees 4, Tweeners 3

As the Tweeners’ bus rolled into Music City, we were intent on playing spoiler to the Bees’ precarious playoff hopes. When the dust settled after 7 games, little had changed on the NASOMA landscape. The Bees remain in the running for the 11th pick in 2012, while the Tweeners still have a shot at the familiar pick #10.

In game #1 the Bees score 3 in the 1st and 2 in the 2nd and cruise to a 7-3 victory, handing MadBum his 10th loss in his final start of the season. Tweeners miss 2 ballpark homer rolls (1-18, 1-19).

Game #2 was one of the better battles, with Kennedy prevailing over Wainwright for a 4-3 Bees win. Another missed ballpark homer for the Tweeners. It was the same score in game #3, but this time the Tweeners were on the winning end. Felix and friends fan a dozen Bees.

Then things got squirrelly with the expanded September rosters. Daniel Hudson allowed only 1 hit in 6 innings, a solo homer to Adam Dunn, and turned a 7 run lead over to the bullpen. A 5 run 8th gave the Bees renewed hope, but we still led 9-6 going to the bottom of the 9th. Sergio Santos and K-Rod carefully constructed the bonfire, then Javier Lopez and Sergio Romo provided the gasoline. K-Rod did manage to get a couple of outs, and we still led 9-7 when he departed with 2 on and 2 out. Lopez intentionally walked pinch-hitter Mike Cameron to load the bases, and Romo was summoned to face Starlin Castro. In a move that raised some eyebrows, Bees’ manager Hal called Castro back and called on long-time Tweener Alfonso Soriano to pinch hit. And in a finish that had obviously been pre-determined by Hal and his techno-geek lackeys, the dice roll was triple snake-eyes, ballpark homer, which was something like 1-23 in this effin’ bandbox, which begs the question how in the hell did we miss another ballpark homer earlier in the game, but this all now led Hal’s lame scrivener to report that “the highlight belonged to Alfonso Soriano who made the crowd happy when he launched a rocket-shot out of the park for a Grand Slam homerun. Due to a poorly pitched ballgame, scoring in 6 different innings was still not enough for NORM to come away with the victory.” Bees 11, Tweeners 9. The “poorly pitched ballgame” reference really pissed off Dan Hudson, who was unrestrained in his post-game remarks. “Hal manages the opposing team while paying his flunkies to script the outcome in advance so as to fulfill his beat writer’s prophesies. While everyone turns a blind eye to the obvious conflict of interest. Random dice roll my ass. And as for Soriano, who never did shit for the Tweeners with some pretty decent cards, to show us up as he did with that Cadillac trot – hell, with that stacked deck, he would have beat us using Adam Dunn’s 2012 card. He better not dig in the next time I face him.” Tweeners coaches intervened to stop the Hudson rant, but it may have been too late to prevent a likely fine and possible suspension.

But I digress. In game #5 Tweeners got some revenge with our own 9th inning come from behind win, capped by a clutch pinch hit by Paul “Babe” Janish. NORM's manager was feeling mighty fine as he answered questions in his office after the game. 'Now that was one fine ending! Did you see how the crowd just sat there in silence after the winning run scored? Here we are celebrating wildly, and the stadium is cloaked in virtual silence. Weird. but GREAT!' Tweeners 6, Bees 5.

Game #6 went to the Bees 6-2. CG for Kennedy, 3-run HR for Francoeur. In the finale, Tweeners again entrusted a 9-2 lead to the bullpen, but they managed to preserve a 9-5 victory. A homer, double, and 4 RBIs for Nick Swisher.

Where are the fucking cards?

Rhinos at Nads

2011-10-02T22:15:00.002-05:00

Rhinos 3, Nads 2

15 April - Rhinos beat the Nads 4 – 1.

16 April - C.J. Wilson pitched a complete game for the Nads propelling them to a 6 – 2 win over the Rhinos.

10 July - Joey Votto slammed 2 homeruns and had 4 RBI as the Rhinos beat the Nads 8 – 4.

11 July - C.J. Wilson pitched a complete game for the Nads propelling them to a 8 – 2 win over the Rhinos.

12 July - Rhinos beat the Nads 5 – 4.

Rhinos at Zaps

2011-10-01T22:45:00.001-05:00

Zaps 3, Rhinos 2

The Zaps clinched the AWD title in this series.

13 April

Max Scherzer, tossed a 5 hitter complete game for the 3 to 1Zapper win.

14 April

Rhinos win 6 to 5 behind Joey Votto’s homer and 2 RBIs.

7 July

Jose Bautista slammed 3 homeruns and had 8 RBI and WandyRodriguez tossed a complete game as theZaps win 20 – 3.

8 July

Max Scherzer reeled off a total of 13 strikeouts as the Zapsbeatthe Rhinos 6 – 5.

9 July

Jeff Francis pitched a complete game beating the Zaps 4 – 2.

Buckeyes at Mavs

2011-10-01T22:42:00.002-05:00

Buckeyes 4, Mavs 3

Buckeyes 4 Mavs 3 to fnish the Buckeyes season in 7 games at Mavs.

June 21 Mavs 4 Buckeyes 3 - Hensley works out of 9yj inning jam to get the save

June 22 Buckeyes 3 Mavs 2 - Big Papi with a 2 run HR in the 8th.

June 23 Mavs 10 Buckeyes 5 - Mavs with a 5 run 7th to blowit open. Uribe with the HR

June 24 Buckeyes 12 Mavs 1 - Ortiz and Prado with homers in 15 hit attack

September 17 Buckeyes 6 Mavs 2 - Ortiz with another homer (number 39 of the year).

September 18 Buckeyes 5 Mavs 4 - Posada's single scores Rios to break 4-4 tie in 8th.

September 19 Mavs 4 Buckeyes 3 - HR's by Young and Upton in 4 run 3rd was too much

The Buckeyes have clinched at least a tie for the MFD title.

Rhinos at Drillers

2011-10-01T22:38:00.003-05:00

Rhinos 3, Drillers 2

10 June

Rhinos win 5 – 1 behind 3 homeruns.

11 June

Andre Ethier launched 3 homeruns for Rhinos but his effortwas wasted as the Drillers win 7 -5.

22 July

Matt Garza took a no-hitter into the 6th inning and ended uppitching a 2 hit shutout as the Rhinos win

3 – 0.

23 July

Tim Lincecum pitched 8 2/3 and David Murphy had 4 hits forthe Drillers 4 – 2 win.

24 July

PlacidoPolanco had a big day for the Rhinos driving in 4runs with a double and a homerun as the Rhinos win 4 – 1.

Mavs at Buckeyes

2011-10-01T13:16:00.001-05:00

Buckeyes 4, Mavs 3

game one 4-3 walk off win for the Bucks

game two 6-5 walk off win for the Bucks in extra innings

game three 4-2 win for the Mavs. Bucks come up short in the ninth

game four 10-9 win for the Mavs in extra innings

game five 5-1 win for the Bucks. A boring game

game six 6-1 win for the Bucks another yawner

game seven 2-0 win for the Mavs. nailbiter. The insurance run in the ninth didn't make me rest easy after the first two games.

Sidewinders at DVs

2011-09-28T22:11:00.003-05:00

DVs 5, Improving Draft Position 0

DVs swept the Snakes at DVLand in a netplay battle that featured close games that could have gone either way. Mauer hit .455 and Sanchez .417, but the rest of the team didn’t lend much help as the Snakes hit .230 as a team. Meanwhile the DVs hit .279 with Elvis leading the way at .471. Halladay and Lirano won 2 games each.

Scores were: 4-3, 6-5, 6-3, 3-1 and 5-4.

Trade

2011-09-27T18:54:00.000-05:00

The Drillers traded Tim Lincecum and Michael Pineda to the Sidewinders for Jay Bruce and Desmond Jennings.

Wahoos vs Nads

2011-09-26T22:56:00.001-05:00

Wahoos 3, Nads 1

July 16 Nads 5, at Wahoos 3

July 17 at Wahoos 2, Nads 1

Aug. 29 Wahoos 6, at Nads 2 (10 innings)

Aug. 30 Wahoos 4, at Nads 3

Migilito Olivo Was the surprise hitting star (5-for-12) for the Wahoos. Austin Jackson was 6-for-17. The team hit only .260 thanks in part to an 0-for-10 from Jimmy Rollins and a 2-for-13 from Jayson Werth. The team had a 2.68 ERA.

The Nads hit .235 in the series. Dan Uggla and Adrian Gonzalez combined for an 11-for-28 series.

Wahoos at Sidewinders

2011-09-26T22:51:00.002-05:00

Wahoos 2, Snakes 0

Aug. 20 Wahoos 8, at SSWs 4

Wahoos jump on John Danks in the second when backward 2B Will Rhymes hit a bases-loaded double to score 3. The only Wahoos starters to not get a hit? Austin Jackson and Jayson Werth both finished 0-for-5. Wahoos had 11 hits and were led by Fausto Carmona. Jay Bruce hit a 3-run homer in the ninth off Nick Masset.

Aug. 21 Wahoos 2, at SSWs 1

Tommy Hunter was masterful, allowing only a homer to Joe Mauer with 2 outs in the ninth. Will Rhymes and Johnny Damon combined for the game's first run and Justin Morneau added a pinch hit homer in the ninth that proved to be the difference.

Inmates at Wahoos

2011-09-25T11:23:00.002-05:00

Inmates 2, Wahoos 0

Two games played on the reservation.

INMATES 2 – WAHOOS 1: A solo homer by Beltre turned out to be the game winner as Wahoo base running blunders prevent the tribe from scoring more.

INMATES 5 – WAHOOS 2: Howard hits a 3-run tater in a b-flat game. Inmates match longest winning streak of the decade with two.

The HEAD INMATE

Killer Bees at Tweeners

2011-09-20T22:03:00.000-05:00

Tweeners 3, Bees 1

We suck. Tweeners take 3 of the last 4 at the Hive to finish 5-2 in Beeville.

(Editor's note: The games were actually played at the Hooverdome, not the Hive. And since they were played BY the Beeboy, you'd think he would know that. As they said in Animal House, "Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.")

Bee attack kills 1,000-pound hog in Arizona

2011-09-17T09:46:00.003-05:00

Story posted 2011.09.16 at 08:35 PM CDT

By MARK CARLSON

Associated Press

PHOENIX (AP) - A southern Arizona hog farmer said Thursday that she watched in horror as thousands of bees swarmed a 1,000-pound hog during an attack that lasted about two hours.

"I went out three times to hose him down," June Hewitt told The Associated Press. "The very last time I went, he lifted his head when I called his name, flicked his ears, and that was the end."

Farmers were trying to move a hive that weighed around 200 pounds when about 250,000 Africanized bees swarmed like a black cloud and attacked animals and workers, KOLD-TV ( http://bit.ly/nd3tO3 ) reported.

Hewitt said the attack killed her male pig, Franklin. An 800-pound pregnant sow nearby also was stung so many times that she went into a coma and lost her litter.

"It was very unpleasant," said Hewitt, who lives in the border town of Bisbee.

Bee expert Reed Booth said Franklin had no chance because Africanized bees had spread pheromones all over the farm animals, riling up other bees.

"The pigs started getting stung, and the pheromone was on the pig and that was the target area for the rest of the bees," Booth said. "So the rest of the bees went completely goofy and killed that poor pig. We watched him take his last breath."

Booth said he can't explain why the bees are so agitated this year.

"It doesn't make any rhyme or reason," Booth said. "I've been doing this over 20 years. For some reason, this year, they're (Africanized bees) just going completely insane."

Bee attacks aren't limited to the southern part of the state. A 49-year-old man in northern Arizona remained hospitalized after he was stung more than 1,000 times on Sunday. Yavapai County authorities say DeWayne Spires disturbed bees nesting under a cattle trough.

Killer Bees at Tweeners

2011-09-17T09:43:00.002-05:00

Tweeners 2, Bees 1

Game 1: Tweeners 6, Bees 1 - Luke Scott blasted 2 homeruns and Adam Wainwright retired 12 batters onstrikeouts at Great American Bpk as the NORM TWEENERS beat the PHILLIP KillerBees 6 to 1.

Game 2: Bees 5, Tweeners 4 - Jeff Francoeur launched 2 homeruns as the PHILLIP Killer Bees defeated theNORM TWEENERS 5 to 4 at Great American Bpk.

Game 3 - Tweeners 2, Bees 1 - At Great American Bpk, the NORM faithful were treated to an intriguingpitcher's duel. Daniel Hudson(1-0) finally bested his PHILLIP counterpart,Tim Hudson(18-10), by the score of 2 to 1.

I will probably play the remaining 4 tomorrow night after drinking about 22 beers. Hopefully that will get my bats going.

DVs at Sidewinders

2011-09-15T23:00:00.002-05:00

Sidewinders 3, DVs 2

Sidewinders win 3 of 5 in the Snake Pit to thrash any DV playoff hopes. A rather lackluster performance both ways as the winning team scored either 3 or 4 runs in every game.

Scores are:

Game 1: SSW 4-1

2: SSW 3-1

3: DVs 4-3 in 17 freaking innings

4: DVs 4-2

5: SSW 3-1

Where are the cards?

Extra Reserve Contest

2011-09-14T22:30:00.001-05:00

Congratulations to the Rhinos for winning the extra reserve pick. The competition was apparently close, although with something as bizarre as picking the final order of the California League, who could keep up?

Here are the final number of teams picked correctly by each of us:
1. Rhinos (7 out of 10 teams picked right on the money)
2. Wahoos and Nads (6)
4. Drillers and Tweeners (5)
6. Warpigs, Sidewinders, and DVs (4)
9. Inmates and Fungoes (3)
11. FFTs and Zaps (2)
13. Killer Bees, Buckeyes, Mavs, and SuperGoofs (1)

Tweeners at Nads

2011-09-14T22:21:00.000-05:00

Tweeners 3, Nads 2

Tweeners mess with draft position by taking 3 of 5 at Wrinkled Pink Park. Only Hal's beat writer can properly report the action.

In game 1, The DAVE NADS ended a long winless drought and toppled the reeling NORM
TWEENERS by a 10 to 6 score at Kauffman Stadium.

DAVE went ahead for good in the 2nd inning plating one baserunner. Josh
Willingham clubbed a solo home run. Miguel Montero followed, but he was set
down on strikes. J.D. Drew then reached on an error. Cody Ross followed and
he drew a walk. After another out, Erick Aybar got his turn next, but he was
a strikeout victim. DAVE ended up with 12 hits for the game while NORM had
6.

The winning pitcher was Ryan Dempster(4-8) who allowed 4 runs in 7 and 1/3
innings. Brandon Lyon earned his 9th save. Gio Gonzalez(7-6) was the loser.
He got hammered, allowing 10 hits and 4 walks in 6 innings.

'Ahhh, that victory was surely needed. Man alive, things were getting awfully
grim,' noted DAVE's manager. 'Now, we need to string a bunch of wins
together and turn things around!'

Next day at Kauffman Stadium the NORM TWEENERS snapped a 7 game losing streak and
outdistanced the pathetic DAVE NADS by a final score of 5 to 1.

NORM brought 4 runs across the plate in the top of the 5th inning. The
critical plate appearance was by Mark Reynolds who deflated the crowd as he
launched a Grand Slam homerun. NORM and DAVE each finished the night with 4
hits.

The victory was credited to Felix Hernandez(13-10) who went 6 innings,
allowing 1 run. C.J. Wilson(4-9) ended up with the loss. 'It's been a rough
ride lately, but this was a good win for us' said NORM's manager, 'Maybe this
will put us back on track.'

Game 3, The NORM TWEENERS and the DAVE NADS locked up in an exciting one-run game at
Kauffman Stadium. The final score was the NORM TWEENERS 7, the DAVE NADS 6
in 12 innings.

Both teams had scored 6 runs after nine full innings. NORM won the hard
fought contest in the 12th inning. After an out was recorded, Corey Hart
doubled. Nick Swisher came next and he ripped a base-knock. Swisher was
safe on a stolen base. After another out, Ryan Hanigan came up and he was
walked intentionally. Paul Janish came up to bat and drew a walk to load the
bases. Ben Zobrist was a strikeout victim, unable to help out. NORM rapped
out 11 hits for the afternoon.

The win went to Javier Lopez(2-1) who allowed no runs in 2 and 1/3 innings.
Matt Capps(0-2) was the loser in relief. He pitched 1 and 1/3 innings and
surrendered 2 hits and 1 walk.

More extra innings in game 4. Erick Aybar had 5 hits and 3 RBI at Kauffman Stadium as the DAVE NADS beat the
NORM TWEENERS in 11 innings by the count of 5 to 4.

The score was tied at 4 after nine. DAVE won it in the 11th inning. Chris
Coghlan drew a walk. Miguel Montero was the next batter, but he struck out.
J.D. Drew then was hit by a pitch. Coghlan proceeded to steal third base.
Aybar stepped into the box and slapped a single resulting in an exciting win
for DAVE and a wild post-game celebration by the home town fans. DAVE
finished with 8 hits in the victory.

The victory went to Grant Balfour(2-1) who went 1 inning, allowing no runs.
Luke Gregerson(4-9) took the loss in relief. For DAVE the victory was a
welcome one, indeed. They had been struggling in their last ten games with a
disappointing 2-8 record. NORM can't seem to snap out of their recent
'funk'. Now they have a miserable 2-8 record over the last couple weeks.

In the rubber game, Corey Hart had 2 base hits at Kauffman Stadium where the NORM TWEENERS beat
the woeful DAVE NADS 4 to 3.

NORM had the game winning rally in the 8th inning with 2 runs on 3 hits.
After an out was recorded, Ben Zobrist keyed the rally when he lashed a
single. Jose Tabata stepped up to the plate and he blasted a two-run home
run. Luke Scott then slapped a base-hit. Vernon Wells was next to the
plate, but was promptly struck out. Hart was next to bat, but he was a
strikeout victim. NORM had 7 hits for the afternoon.

Sergio Romo(5-3) was the winner allowing 1 run in 3 innings. Shaun
Marcum(2-13) took the loss. He allowed 4 runs and 7 hits in 7 and 1/3
innings.

Trade

2011-09-13T22:52:00.002-05:00

"Who are those guys?"

The FFTs traded Daric Barton to the Warpigs for David Ross.

Trade

2011-09-12T20:06:00.001-05:00

The Buckeyes trade Daric Barton and Matt Guerrier to the FFTs for Mark Ellis and Ryan Sweeney.

Mavs at Rhinos

2011-09-10T20:46:00.001-05:00

Mavs 3, Rhinos 2

MAVS............. 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 3 0 - 5 9 2
RHINOS.......... 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 - 1 4 2

MAVS............. 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 2 0 0 1 - 5 12 0
RHINOS.......... 1 0 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 - 4 6 0

MAVS............. 0 0 2 2 0 0 0 1 0 - 5 12 0
RHINOS.......... 0 0 2 3 0 1 0 0 - 6 6 0

MAVS............. 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 - 1 8 1
RHINOS.......... 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 3 - 4 7 1

MAVS............. 0 0 0 3 0 0 0 3 0 0 1 - 7 10 2
RHINOS.......... 0 2 0 0 2 0 1 0 1 0 0 - 6 10 0

Mavs at Sidewinders

2011-09-10T20:41:00.002-05:00

Mavs 3, Snakes 2

Game 1

MAVS.................. 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 - 2 4 0
SIDEWINDERS..... 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 - 1 5 1

Game 2

MAVS.................. 0 0 0 2 0 0 0 2 0 - 4 6 0
SIDEWINDERS..... 4 3 0 1 0 0 2 0 - 10 13 0

Game 3
MAVS.................. 1 2 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 2 - 6 12 1
SIDEWINDERS..... 0 0 2 0 1 1 0 0 0 0 1 - 5 13 2

Game 4
MAVS.................. 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 - 0 2 0
SIDEWINDERS..... 0 1 3 0 1 0 0 1 - 6 10 0

Game 5
MAVS.................. 2 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 1 - 4 11 1
SIDEWINDERS..... 0 0 1 0 0 0 2 0 0 - 3 8 2

Trades

2011-09-09T18:17:00.001-05:00

The Killer Bees traded Domonic Brown to the Sidewinders for Rafael Betancourt.

The Killer Bees traded a 2012 7th round pick and a 2012 reserve to the Inmates for Jason Motte.

Inmates vs Tweeners

2011-09-05T13:43:00.002-05:00

“OPPONENT HAS LEFT THE BALLPARK. UMPIRE CALLS GAME”

Inmates 3, Tweeners 2

The Tweeners and Inmates hooked up for a typically bizarre series at the HooverDome via netplay/CM:

TWEENERS 7 – INMATES 6 (10): Tweeners send Santanaclaus to an early shower after belting 9 hits in 3 1/3. Then with the score 6-5 in the 6^th, HAL sends “OPPONENT HAS LEFT THE BALLPARK. UMPIRE CALLS GAME” message, leaving both faithful fans wondering what the fuck was going on. Autosave came in handy, as Johnson hits sacfly in 9^th to send the game into extra innings. Of course, the LDMF lost.

INMATES 4 – TWEENERS 3: Floyd pitches (but doesn’t field) a great game, leaving in the 9^th with a 4-2 lead after allowing only 3 hits. Despite orders to the contrary, Inmate defensive change leaves Pennington at 2B (WTF??) where the 5e71 allows both a hit and error. Inmates manager immediately fixes HAL’s fuck-up, while Perez and Motte can’t get the side out. Then, with two outs and the bases loaded in a 4-3 game, HAL sends out the “OPPONENT HAS LEFT BALLPARK. UMPIRE CALLS GAME” message once again. Inmate and Tweener fans wonder what stupid motherfucker of a programmer at SOM could possibly come up with such an imbecilic move. Nevertheless, the autosave works again, and Chamberlain strands all runners for the Inmate victory.

TWEENERS 4 – INMATES 3: This via CM, as 2-3 dozen attempts to get the game connection working between Inmate XP and Tweener Vista prove fruitless and a colossal waste of time. Good game, Casilla gets long save.

Fuck HAL.

The HEAD INMATE

Tweeners (mercifully) leave Waco in our rear-view mirror, failing to win there in 2011. With expanded rosters (which made no difference) Tweeners drop the final pair 6-5 and 3-2. Inmates plate 5 vs. Fellix in the 1st inning and we can't quite recover. 49,906 showed up for the finale, and all demanded refunds, alleging that they had witnessed replacement players masquerading as Tweeners/Inmates. If only.

Zaps at Rhinos

2011-09-04T14:19:00.002-05:00

Zaps 3, Rhinos 2

Game 1- Sabathia dominates the Zaps on the way to a 9-0 Rhino triumph.

Game 2- Cabrera and Bautista each hit 2 taters to power a 14-6 Zap win.

Game 3- Rhinos score 8 runs in an inning and still lose 11-9.

Game 4-Edwin Jackson dominates the Zaps bats and gets a 3-1 victory.

Game 5-Garza comes into a tied games and give up 5 runs to the Zaps in a 7-5 defeat.

Tweeners at Zaps

2011-09-03T14:59:00.002-05:00

Zaps 3, Tweeners 0

3 more losses for Tweeners @ Zaps. Scherzer threw a one-hitter at us; Braden loses his 13th to Westbrook, 4-1; and in the finale, Wainwright turns over a 5-2 lead to Santiago Casilla, Zaps score 4 in the 8th including a Bautista 3-run bomb, Tweeners lose 6-5. Get the effin Zaps out of here.

DVs at Buckeyes

2011-09-02T17:59:00.003-05:00

Buckeyes 3, DVs 2

I'm sorry, but I do not know the scores of our games.

DVs (see image)

Trade

2011-09-01T19:52:00.002-05:00

The FFTs traded J.J. Putz to the Killer Bees for his 2013 2nd round pick.